The 12 Days Of Christmas - The True Story free porn video

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THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
DAY ONE:

Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet

DAY TWO:

Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet

DAY THREE:

My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve such generosity-three French hens!
They are just darling, but I must insist-you've been too, too kind.
All my love,
Violet

DAY FOUR:

Dear Bob,
Today the postman delivered four calling birds.
Now really they ARE beautiful. But don't you think enough is enough?
You are just being too romantic.
Love,
Violet

DAY FIVE:

Dear Bob,
What a marvelous surprise!
Today the postman delivered five gold rings.
One for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
To tell you the truth,
all these birds really squawk a lot and are getting on my nerves.
Affectionately,
Violet

DAY SIX:

Bob,
Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door there
were actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps.
So, you're back on the birds again.
Those geese are huge! Where in the name of creation will I keep them?
The neighbors are complaining, rightfully so,
and it is impossible to sleep through this racket.
Now let this be the end of this.
Cordially,
Violet

DAY SEVEN:

Bob,
What the hell's with you and these fucking birds?!?
Seven swans-a-swimming? What kind of goddamn joke is this?
There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket.
Stop with this sadistic nonsense.
This is not funny and I am very unhappy.
Sincerely,
Violet

DAY EIGHT:

O.K. Pal ! !
WHAT IN THE SCREAMING HELL AM I GOING TO DO
WITH EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILKING?
JESUS!!!
I THINK I PREFER THE GODDAMN BIRDS!
THE GODDAMN MAIDS-A-MILKING HAD TO BRING THEIR GODDAMN COWS.
THERE IS COW SHIT ALL OVER MY LAWN AND BIRD SHIT ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
I CANNOT MOVE MY FEET.
JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE,
SMARTASS.

DAY NINE

LISTEN SHITHEAD ! !
YOU'RE A SADISTIC BASTARD!
NOW I HAVE NINE PIPERS PIPING IN MY FRONT YARD
AND THEY ARE STANDING KNEE DEEP IN COW SHIT.
THIS AFTER CHASING THOSE MAIDS ALL NIGHT LONG. CONSEQUENTLY,
UPSETTING THE COWS TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE STEPPING ALL OVER
THOSE GODDAMN SCREECHING BIRDS.
THE NEIGHBORS HAVE STARTED A PETITION TO EVICT ME.
UP YOURS ! ! !

DAY TEN

YOU ROTTEN PRICK ! ! !
NOW THERE'S TEN LADIES DANCING.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THOSE SLUTS "LADIES".
THEY'VE BEEN BALLING THOSE GODDAMN PIPERS ALL NIGHT LONG.
NOW THE GODDAMN COWS CAN'T sleep AND THEY'VE GOT DIARRHEA!
EVERYTHING HAS TURNED TO A RIVER OF SHIT ! !
THE COMMISSIONER OF ZONING AND THE BUILDING INSPECTOR
HAVE SUBPOENAED ME TO GIVE JUST CAUSE
WHY MY HOME SHOULDN'T BE CONDEMNED.
I'M CALLING THE POLICE ! !
I MEAN IT. BY GOD !

DAY ELEVEN

LISTEN FUCKHEAD ! ! ! !
NEVER IN MY WILDEST IMAGINATION DID I EVER THINK
THAT I WOULD BE WITNESS TO ELEVEN LORDS-A-LEAPING
ON THAT MANY MAIDS AND "LADIES".
THEY TOOK THOSE BROADS LIKE GRANT TOOK RICHMOND
AND THEY WILL NEVER WALK EXACTLY RIGHT AGAIN.
I WASN'T THE ONLY WITNESS, BY THE WAY.
THE "60 MINUTES" CAMERA CREW AND STAFF ARE JUST NOW
LOADING UP THEIR CAMERA AND EQUIPMENT ON A CHARTERED PLANE
AND ARE RACING AGAINST TIME TO HAVE THE
FIRST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL ON PAY TV.

FOR THE RECORD, ALL 23 OF THOSE GODDAMN BIRDS ARE DEAD.
THEY WERE TRAMPLED TO DEATH IN THE ORGY.
AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, SOMEHOW, SOME DAY, I'LL GET YOU ! ! ! !
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!

MISS VIOLET MONICA HABERSHAN

DAY TWELVE

LAW OFFICES
GOLDSTEIN, SILVERBERG AND O'REILLY
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift,
twelve drummers drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict
upon our client, Miss Violet Monica Habershan.

The destruction, of course, was total.
All correspondence should come to our attention.
If you should attempt to reach Miss Habershan
at the Charter Glade Sanitarium,
the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight!
With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Regards,

0
0

23.04.2021
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Joe Naylor stared at the department store display. "I can not believe this." "What?" His girlfriend, Noelle Winters, gave him a puzzled look. "This!" He made a sweeping gestures with his arm to indicate the shelves. "It's October fifteenth and they're putting up Christmas decorations!" He scowled at the Santas, elves, miniature trees and other Yuletide paraphernalia that sat mere feet from more appropriate seasonal wares. Pumpkins, witches, and skeletons grinned at him from their...

Mary Christmas

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Mary wraps herself up in lights as a Christmas present for Paul = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = * * * * * * * * * * * * Mary read the text on her smart phone. ‘Boarding, see you around ten.’ Paul would be home for Christmas. She normally didn’t mind the amount of travel he did with his job, but the just-before-Christmas annual company planning meeting had always irked her. Paul was always gone for the three days before Christmas. He had...

Itrsquos Not Christmas Without You

By SchneiderVerseAfterDarkSam and Cat’s ApartmentChristmas EveSam wore a thin cotton red spaghetti strap tank top and green silky boxers (presents given to her by Cat for and to wear during the holiday and understanding her hatred for the word ‘panties’) as she lazily walked into the back second bedroom of Cat and hers shared apartment. After the couple had returned from Tori, Freddie and Jade’s Christmas party, Cat had instructed her to change and relax in the living room for a bit until ten...

Day Before Christmas Eve

It was Friday, the day before Christmas Eve, and I had only just gotten the mistletoe that afternoon. I had gotten a great deal more than we needed, and as I arranged and glued a bunch of mistletoe to a sprig of holly, a couple of cranberries, three jingle bells and a few tiny gold ornaments and tied it all together with a red velvety ribbon for our entryway's arrangement, I had a wild idea. I made similar arrangements for every light or ceiling fan you can stand under in the entire house and...

A Christmas tale The firth

A Christmas Tale (The Fifth) Chapter 01 Walter and Laura Walter. "An introvert yes he's definitely a bit of an introvert," I say to my wife as I look out of the window into next door's back garden. "Who is dear?" I look over to my wife of nearly sixty years, she's currently standing at the sink and is straining cooked black currents through a muslin cloth. "The young lad next door; Graham I believe his name is." "Oh yes I watched him the other day, I think he was building...

How To Survive Christmas Alone

Are you alone and lonely for the holidays? Don’t you wish that Ronco would invent something to make you feel not so alone and sell it on TV for, oh, I don’t know, $19.99 and if you called right now, you’d get a second one for free? Yeah, well, go fish, life doesn’t work that way. A friend in need is a friend indeed doesn’t always go along with you sow what you reap. Sometimes, life just happens and you suddenly find yourself in uncharted territory and alone, be it a move to a new city or...

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