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Nails For Men, a drabble Wishful thinking by Lee Most ----------------------------------------------- "I won't go out with a man whose fingernails look bad," she said. So, I cleaned them. "Not good enough." I put on Nails For Men matte-finish clear polish. "You messed up your polish." I learned to move without damaging my nail polish. "That polish is so dull." I experimented with a dozen clear, shiny polishes. "Your nails aren't very long." I grew them for months. "Ow! Don't touch me there with those sharp claws!" I put several coats to make that nail's tip round. "Look, you have a chip in your polish." I learned about base coats, top coats and touch-up coats. "You have tiny bubbles in your polish!" I found Seche Vite top coat. [Free plug!] "That nail is split almost all the way across." I found out about nail glue and silk wraps for repairs. "You broke a nail!" I bought and figured out how artificial tips work. "Your tips don't all match." I got a French nails kit and learned to use that. "Half of your nails have artificial tips." I learned how to make unbreakable gel nails. "You wear long nails, you might as well use color." I went on a nail polish shopping spree. "On The Daily Nail blog there's a woman who paints her nails differently every day!" I learned to do nail art. "How are you spending your free time these days?" I display my fingernails and explain how much time it takes. "If you paint them this color, your nails will match my party dress!" I had the longest nails at the party--including the women! "Did anyone notice?" I smile ironically and shake my head no. "Would you scratch my back?" Ah, ecstasy! -----------------------------------------------

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