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Chapter 1 I was born in town of about 40,000 people in the upper Midwest. Almost everyone in town was of Scandinavian heritage and so most had fair skin, blond hair and blue eyes. I guess I fit that mold except my hair was a shade darker than most, almost a "dishwater brown" color but I most definitely had the fair skin and blue eyes. My birth name was Gerald Steensen and everyone called me "Jerry". I appeared to be a normal, healthy male to the rest of the world but that ended up being far from the truth. You see, I believe I was born with an abnormality. From the time I can remember, I wanted to be a girl. One of my first memories is of going to bed, saying my prayers and asking God to turn me into a girl while I was asleep. I was always disappointed when I awoke the next morning to find that I was still a boy. As a young boy I would play ball with the boys but when they played "war" or other rough games, I would always volunteer to be the "spy" with the girls in the neighborhood while they played house. I became good friends with many of those girls and, in fact related much better to them than I did the boys in the neighborhood. I always knew I was somehow different. I didn't feel like I fit anywhere. When I was 10, my mom and dad agreed to let me take dance lessons from a private teacher. My dad thought it would help me in my sports but I was only going to be allowed to take lessons for a year and only tap dancing. I loved it. It was really one of the first chances I had to express myself as I was. I would watch the girls in their tights and be so jealous, but I became friends with them all and they treated me like "one of the girls". One of them even said that she never really thought of me as a boy. At the end of the year, we danced our recital and I came home and threw such a fit that my parents relented and allowed me to take dance for another year. I even convinced them to let me take ballet because "the company needed a boy". It was my little slice of heaven and one of the happiest times of my child hood years. I liked playing ball, especially baseball and I was a fast runner. I was also a pretty good hitter and I played shortstop in little league. I also played some football with the guys because I was faster than anyone so I didn't get roughed up much. I wasn't much good at basketball as I had unusually small hands. By this time I was still fantasizing about what it would be like to be a girl. When I put on my bath robe I would pretend it was a dress and when I fell asleep at night, most of the time times I would dream I was a girl or a young woman. This would never have been a good thing at my house. My dad was very much old school and a bit a chauvinist. I remember several times wanting to grow my hair out and he would say no. he said, "Jerry, you have a very feminine face and people will think you're a girl if you have long hair." That made me crazy because that's what I wanted to be! By the time I was 10 or 11, it looked like I was going to be pretty athletic. I had long legs and I could run like a deer. This was also about the time someone called me "bubble-butt". I was so embarrassed by that name at first. But like many of the things kids do to each other, the name stuck. By this time I was sneaking into my parents' room and looking at all of the wonderful feminine clothing and smelling her perfume. I would even occasionally steal a pair of panties and wear them under my boy clothes. I would also occasionally put on my mom's work "smock" and pretend it was a dress. I would ball up a pair of socks and put them underneath on my chest so it would look like I had breasts. One day she came home from work and caught me. I thought I would die. She told me to change and come upstairs. I did as I was told and she asked me if I wanted to be a girl. I almost came clean at that moment but I was so terrified of my father that I couldn't admit it. I told her I was just fooling around and that if she didn't tell dad, I would never do it again. Within a month, I was back at it though and becoming more bold as time passed. Chapter 2 By the time I was 15, I was 5'10" tall and weighed 135 lbs. I was still all legs and my nickname was still "bubble butt". I didn't know it at the time but I was all done growing and would never get taller than that. I remember going to one of my first "boy-girl" parties about this time and as I was walking up the stairs, one of the guys behind me told me I "had an ass like a girl's". I acted like I was pissed off but I was secretly so flattered that I was almost on a cloud. I still had unusually small hands and feet and I was apparently going to be small boned. When my mom would buy me clothes, she would always have to buy my pants with the waist a little big because my butt and thighs were not like a boy. By this time I was a very good baseball player and above average in football because nobody could catch me. I had become friends with this guy by the name of Ray. Ray was 17 and good at sports. He was also one of the guys that had lots of girls who liked him. For some reason, I thought he was really cute too but I hid it from him. I know I would get very excited when he would call and want to get "hang out". I remember one time I had taken a pair of really tight jeans and made them cut offs. I don't know if it was on purpose but I cut them really short. I know that in those days, boys wore their shorts much shorter but when I put these on, part of my butt cheek almost showed. It looked funny with underwear on so I wore them with no underwear and only around the house. One day I had on my "short shorts" and the doorbell rang. It was Ray. I was so excited to see him that I didn't remember what I was wearing when I went outside. We went in the backyard and played catch for a while but he kept smiling and looking at my butt and legs. He complimented me and said I looked really good. A few weeks later, we left on our summer family vacation to a resort on a lake. Ray and I were such good friends that my parents decided to invite him along. We also were traveling with another couple that were family friends. We got to the cabin and it had 2 bedrooms, each had 1 double bed. Our friends were in the cabin next door. That night, the adults were playing cards and it was about midnight when Ray and I went to bed. There wasn't much room but we managed. Ray fell asleep first and I laid there for a very long time wishing I could be "his girl". Finally I fell asleep. The next morning, I awoke and Ray had his arm over my shoulders and I could feel his "morning wood" on my leg. He was asleep so I reached out and touched it with my hand. It seemed huge and then he began to stir so I pretended to be asleep. When I opened my eyes, Ray had a big smile on his face. That day we spent time at the beach and did some fishing. The day wound down and the adults started their nightly card game after dinner. Ray and I were both tired from the day's activities so we went to bed around 10:30. This time as we lay there, I felt Ray's hand touch my leg. He whispered that, "It was nice when you touched me this morning Jerry. You can do it again if you want." I was terrified and I froze for a second. Then Ray put his hand on my thigh. I turned over and Ray was smiling. "Go ahead." He said. So I reached out and felt his cock through his shorts. It seemed huge to me. Ray said, "You can take it out if you want." I was starting to breathe a little heavier as he rolled over on his back and pulled down the front of his shorts. Before I knew what was happening, I had my hand wrapped around his cock and it was hard as a rock. That's when Ray said, "Would you like to kiss it?" By now my heart was beating so fast that I was sure it was going to burst from my chest. I nodded and leaned over and began to kiss Ray's magnificent cock. He whispered things to me about how I should do certain things and before long I was on my knees with my head bobbing up and down as I sucked his cock. I felt his hand reach down the back of my gym shorts and he put one of his fingers in my bottom. It didn't take very long before I felt Ray's other hand on the back of my head and his body began to tense. He let out a grunt as he began to cum. I swallowed as much as I could as my hard little dick deposited a load of cum in my shorts. I lay back down on the bed as I heard my mom's voice on the other side of the door, "Everything okay in there?" Ray answered back and said that he had bumped his head and it woke him. As she walked away, I burped and Ray and I settled in like two spoons. The next morning, I woke up first and found him with another erection so I went down on him again and woke him with a "BJ". He cummed, I swallowed, I burped and we went out and had cereal. It went that way for the rest of the trip. I gave Ray "head" every night while he fingered my bottom, then I woke him in the morning with a blowjob. I felt like Ray's "girlfriend" and I was as happy as I had ever been. Chapter 3 The family vacation ended and we returned home. Ray and I spent a lot of time together over the rest of the summer and when we were alone, he treated me like his girlfriend. When we watched TV with no parents around, we held hands and even kissed. When we went to movies, we sat in the back row and held hands. It was wonderful and I began to think I should talk to my mom about being a girl. Ray was in high school and a rising Senior and I was a sophomore so I didn't see him every day but we got together on weekends. I took care of him like a good girl and we stayed close. By this time, I had started to accumulate my own panties that I would occasionally steal when walking through a store. I would dress up whenever I was alone and had even started experimenting with makeup. I was playing football at school and the locker room there was beginning to be a problem. I also had gym 3 days a week and I felt out of place there. I didn't feel like I belonged there and the guys were starting to talk about girls in ways that were not very nice. They were talking about this one was "easy" and that one was a "slut" because she was she had sucked a guy's cock. As I listened, I found myself feeling a little aroused. I was a "cocksucker" so I guess I was a "slut" too. That night, I went home and up to my room. I put on my sexiest panties and imagined being with Ray while I masturbated. That winter, my parents took a cruise over Christmas vacation. They were going to be gone for a week and they asked good ol' Ray to come stay with me at the house while they were gone. He had turned 18 and I guess they thought he would look after me. Ray knew by this time that I "dressed" and he had been pestering me to see what I looked like. After my folks asked him to stay, he said we should spend the whole week like we were a couple and I should stay dressed the whole time. I was so excited that I could barely sleep the night before they left. As their car pulled out of the driveway, Ray turned to me and said, "Why don't you go change into something more comfortable, Natalie?" I said, "Who's Natalie?" Ray said, "You are for the next week you sexy bitch!" When he said that, I almost messed the panties I was wearing. So I kissed him on the cheek and went to my parents' room. I went into their bath and began to run a nice hot bubble bath. It was so relaxing. I got out of the tub and looked at my body nude in front of the mirror. When I tucked my cock and balls back between my legs, the lower half of my body said female. I had a girlish ass and thighs. Unfortunately, I had turned 16 in September and I had quite a bit of hair on my legs. I found the Nair in my mom's cabinet and read the instructions. I applied it to my legs and while I waited, I took some scissors and began to trim my "bush". I trimmed and used a razor until all that was left was a little heart right above my genitals. After the appropriate amount of time I rinsed off the Nair and I will never forget the feeling. My legs were so smooth and the sensation from rubbing them together felt so normal and wonderful. I sat on the bed and crossed and re-crossed my legs for nearly 15 minutes. Then I returned to the bathroom to do my makeup. I had only about 3 stray hairs on my chin so I took a tweezers and plucked them. By the time I was finished, I thought I looked acceptable and then I combed my hair straight back. I put on my mom's wig which was about my own natural color and shoulder length with a layered style and went into the bedroom. In her lingerie drawer, I found a short black nightie and a pair of black bikini panties. I quickly put them on as my hands trembled. I found a pair of black strappy sandals with a 3 inch heel. My boy size shoe was only a 7 and my mom wore a size 9 ladies so they were a perfect fit. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. I went down the hall to the living room and slowly stepped around the corner. Ray was watching a ball game and looked up as I came in the room. The look on his face was worth the effort. He turned off the TV and got up and came over to me. Ray was about 6'4" and 220 lbs so even in my heels, he was taller. He took me in his arms and kissed me deeply and passionately. He whispered in my ear, "You're beautiful. You were meant to be a woman." I melted and he took me in his arms and kissed me again. Ray then picked me up and carried me to the back bedroom. He laid me on the bed and I sat up to undo his belt. I unzipped his jeans and took out that gorgeous cock of his and started to suck him. I looked up at him with his cock in my mouth and he began to build a nice rhythm. I heard his voice saying, "Natalie, tonight I want to take you. I want to take your cherry." With that he opened the nightstand next to my parents' bed and found some KY. He pulled his cock out of my mouth and turned me over on the bed. He pulled the back of my panties down and took the KY on his fingers. He slowly and gently inserted one finger, sliding it in and out. He inserted a second finger, slowly and gently sliding in and out. Then a third finger was inserted. In and out he began to move his hand faster as my bottom relaxed under his gentle touch. Has his fingers began working into me faster, I got more excited. Soon I was begging for his cock and he was only too happy to oblige me. He took off his pants and climbed on the bed behind me. Even though he had got me "ready" he still went slowly and gently. I felt his cock at the entrance to my asshole and he began to gently push. I felt a gentle "pop" as the head entered me. Slowly he took me. Before long I felt his stomach up against my ass and I realized I had taken it all. Ray Began to move back and forth. In and out and we established a wonderful rhythm. Soon he turned me over on my back and put a pillow under my ass as he began to fuck his "girlfriend Natalie" in the missionary position. We kissed passionately as I wrapped my legs around him while we made love. Finally he began to pound into me faster and deeper with each stroke. I was moaning and he was moaning and finally with a final thrust he said, "Take it you slut!" and be began to cum inside my ass. I began to cum at the same time and we collapsed in each other's arms. We lay there for what seemed forever and his cock eventually got soft and fell out of me. We snuggled and fell asleep and woke up and made love again. He took me 3 times that first night. The rest of the week, we spent as a couple. He was the man and I was his girl. He kept trying to talk me into going out with him dressed. He told me nobody would ever know. I resisted but finally, the night before my parents were due back, I let him talk me into it. We would go to the Burger king in the next town and then to a movie. I put on my mom's denim mini skirt with a black tank top with a lace fringe. I wore one of her bras which were a "C" cup and filled things out with some balloons filled with water and pair of sandals with a 1 inch heel. I did my makeup very light. Foundation, light powder, mascara and some lip gloss, adjustedmy wig and I was ready to go. I was so nervous that I couldn't eat at the BK and I thought everyone was staring at me. Ray told me it was just because I was a "pretty girl" and I should get used to it. We sat in the theater in the back row and Ray made me feel his cock through most of the movie. He took me home and we made love again. Over the course of the week, our sex had begun to evolve. Ray wasn't always gentle and sometimes he called me names like "fag whore", "fairydoll", Cocksucking little bitch" and "cumslut". I found that it really turned me on when he did that and sometimes I liked it a little rough but I also wanted romance and gentle lovemaking. That seemed to be disappearing quickly. We picked everything up and did laundry for when my mom and dad got home. Dad shook my hand and Ray's hand and went in to watch TV. Mom gave me a hug and looked at me for a while. She said, "Something is different about you?" She moved on and hugged Ray and he said, "see ya Jerry!" and with that he was gone. Ray and I got together several times over the next couple of months but he started seeing a real girl and then he went away to college and I guess left Natalie in his rear view mirror. Chapter 4 The next couple years were uneventful. I had my first girlfriend and we engaged in some sexual activity but I was always wishing I was her. I dressed every chance I got. Still accumulating more clothing which was kept in a corner of my closet and since I had been doing my own laundry since I was a freshman, I didn't think mom would find "my stash". I continued to play football and baseball. I was a wide receiver in football and I played second base in baseball. I was pretty good and we won the state championship when I was a junior and when I was senior I was all conference. I was still 5'10 and weighed 145 lbs soaking wet so I didn't get any scholarship offers. I decided to attend our state university. I purged all my clothes before I left since I was going to be living in the dorm. I did okay as a freshman. I made the baseball team and dated some girls though I was more interested in what they wore and how it might have looked on me than I was in a serious relationship. As a sophomore, I moved off campus to a little one bedroom efficiency apartment and began to accumulate clothes again. I ordered from catalogs and occasionally went to a store to buy a "present for my girlfriend". I would go to class, go to baseball practice, come home, put on panties and a pair of shorts or a dress and study or watch TV. I would occasionally go out with the guys and listen to their stories about chicks and who they were "doing" and then go home, dress and imagine I was one of their "bitches". I spent time around black people for the first time at college. There were a couple of football players that lived in the same complex and I thought they were both hunks and we smiled and chatted occasionally but nothing ever came of it. I graduated with a degree in finance and landed a job as a management trainee with a bank in a Midwestern city of about 750,000 people. I started a week after graduation so I was very busy with finding an apartment, getting moved, power, phone and cable connected. Things went fairly well and I met a girl who seemed nice and a good "corporate wife" so we married. I purged my clothing again and tried to act and be a man like my father wanted. Unfortunately, my wife and I wore the same sizes and she traveled about 80% of the time so I began spending more and more time alone and dressed. Our sex life dwindled away to nothing and so I would go to an adult bookstore and buy magazines. One night, I wore some light makeup out to the bookstore and the guy behind the counter, Tony, told me about a drag bar in our town and I should come out tomorrow night as there was a big show. I said I'd think about it and he reached out and pinched my nipple as he gave me change and then he winked at me. My wife, Annie was traveling out of the country and the next night was Saturday. I went out and bought a wig that morning. I shaved my legs and then went out on our private deck in one of my wife's bikini bottoms and laid in the sun. About 6, I went in, made a light salad (I was still only 145 lbs.) and had a nice glass of wine. I cleaned up, took a shower and tried to decide what to wear. I picked a little black dress with a v-neck and straps. It came to about 3 inches above the knee. Black bra with some silicone gel breasts I had ordered from a catalog. Black bikini panties and black 3 inch pumps. I had another glass of wine and a joint. Did my makeup in a more dramatic evening style (more blush, more eye shadow and liner) and I was off. It took me about 45 minutes to get to the bar and I arrived at 9:30. I went in and ordered a glass of wine and sat at the bar. After about 10 minutes, Tony came up and kissed me on the cheek. He told me that I looked fantastic and that he almost didn't recognize me. He proceeded to buy me drinks and by 11:30 I was out in his car sucking his cock. He blew his load in my mouth and I messed in my panties. I went home that night and made a decision. I could no longer live like I was living. It was a lie and Natalie needed to live. I took no action for several months as I was planning how I was going to let her live. In the meantime, I ran an ad in a magazine called "Female Mimics" and began an affair with a black man named Mike. He was 6'6" and weighed about 230 lbs. He was 46 and I was 27. He had a glorious 8 inch cock that seemed to stay hard forever. He had been a professional athlete. We would meet and fuck like bunnies for several days and then his wife or mine would come home from the road. In the meantime, I was seeing a therapist. He put me through a series of tests (MMPI, etc) and after about 3 months, diagnosed me as gender- dysphoric. I was a transsexual. He also told me that he wouldn't send me to an endocrinologist until I filed for divorce. During that time, Mike took another job in another city and he and his wife moved away. I found an apartment, talked to a lawyer, signed all the paperwork and then waited for the right time. Chapter 5 I was very lucky in that Annie was a size 8. Out of curiosity, I took my own measurements once just to see. I was a 38-31-34 with a 32" inseam. This was also pre hormones. I could wear anything in her closet and it looked like mine. Finally, after a month of her being on the road, I decided to tell her I wanted a divorce over the phone. I was spending every weekend night at the show bar and making new friends and letting my hair start to grow. One Saturday, several came to our apartment and helped me move some furniture. I had some in storage and when we were done, I was finally moved in to my new apartment. I needed to do some decorating but that would come with time. I threw out all my boy underwear, t-shirts, briefs, boxers, every last vestige of maleness. I called her up at her hotel and told her I wanted a divorce. She was actually pretty cool with it and had been thinking the same thing. I was completely dressed to go out with Tony but after I hung up I was so wrung out we just stayed in. Tony and I had sex as kind of friends with benefits but he was more into playing the field. We got it on that night but he left before I woke the next morning. Monday I called the lawyer and told him to file the paperwork with the court. I was to see my therapist that afternoon at 4. I went to my appointment and told him what had happened. He called the endocrinologist while I was sitting there and made an appointment for Wednesday afternoon at 4:30. I made the appointment and he asked some standard questions, took some blood and made a follow up appointment for Friday afternoon. I left work a little early and headed over there. I walked in and he gave me 2 scripts (25 mg Spirolactone. & 2 milligrams estrodiol). My hands were shaking and I immediately headed to the pharmacy. I went home and took one of each with a lean cuisine and watched tv. I was on this dosage for about a month with weekly blood tests. As you might imagine, no dramatic changes except my nipples were a bit tender and itchy. My skin was a bit softer and the three hairs on my chin seemed to vanish. I went for my follow up and my weight was 143lbs. and he increased my levels to 125 mg of Spiro and 4 mg of estrodiol. I took my measurements again that night and it was 38-31-34. After about another 2 weeks I began to feel some little pea-sized lumps under my nipples and they were quite painful. I couldn't even sleep on my tummy. My hair was growing but not noticeably out of line. People I worked with began to ask me what was different, that I looked younger to them. I started yoga classes 3 times a week and noticed that I was a tiny bit more flexible than I had been. After 2 months, I took my measurements again. I was 37-30-34.5. I weighed 140 lbs and felt like I was floating on a cloud. I began to get "ma'am" at the checkout line on occasion. I saw an attorney about getting my name changed and what all that involved. I saw an electrologist and took care of what little facial hair I did have which was painful and expensive. I began to notice some breast tissue if I pushed things together and my 6 pack started to get less defined. So did the muscles in my legs and arms. I was beginning to lose definition. At 2 and a half months I went to play golf with some of my friends and I noticed my golf bag seemed heavier and I had lost almost a full club length in distance. My hair was down to my ears and my collar now and some people at work began to make comments about the length and "professional appearance". At three months, I was having to "butch up" to go to work. I definitely was beginning to develop breast tissue and my nipples were very puffy and almost always hard. I was down to 138 lbs and my measurements were 37- 29.5-34.5. Naked in front of the mirror I was getting a figure. I started taking dance lessons again. I was more emotional and would cry at the drop of a hat. Weekends were a little wild and I was beginning to get a bit of a reputation of being "easy" and when I went to the club, I dressed as sexy as I could. At 3 and half months, I went out after work on Friday and got my ears pierced. I left them in all weekend and on Monday morning I panicked. I took them out and put fishing line in to keep them open. At night, that was the first thing I did when I got home was put in my earrings. My hair was down over my ears and past my collar. My boss made a snide comment about how some people who are gay are very obvious. I was walking different too, both as a result of the ballet lessons and from wearing heels all weekend. At 4 months, I was becoming more fem by the day. I had a settlement meeting with Annie and she called me a little perv and said she could hardly wait to tell her mom and dad they were right about me. My hair was growing over my ears and when I wasn't at work I wore it in a pony tail most of the time. I bought my first bras, I was almost an "A" cup and in a push-up I had very real cleavage. I weighed 137 lbs and my measurements were 37A-29-35. I was wearing a sports bra to work and my boy clothes didn't seem to fit me anymore. My suit coats were baggy as I was losing muscle mass quickly. At this point, most of the time I was living full time as a woman except when I was at work. At 5 months, it was becoming impossible to go to work and look anything like my ID badge. I was a full "A" cup and I weighed 135 lbs. My measurements were 37A-29-35-5. My suits didn't fit and I was beginning to show boobs even with a sports bra on. When I walked by people would whisper. I did my first threesome with Tony and another guy. It was very hot and we all got off a couple times. It just really excited me to feel my tits bounce while some guy pounded into my now very shapely ass. I decided to get a tattoo on my lower back. I made an appointment and when I showed up they gave me a book to look through. I select a Chinese character that I thought looked very elegant. I showed it to the artist and he smiled at me. I had selected the Chinese character for "whore". I laughed and thought "perfect". At 5 and a half months, it was time to go home for Christmas. Chapter 6 I wasn't really sure what to do. Should I call mom and tell her what was happening or should I just show up and hope for the best. None of my male clothes fit. The only jeans I had were girl jeans and no matter how hard I tried, I just didn't look at all like Jerry. I decided that the best thing was to call mom and explain so I picked up the phone and after we exchanged news of the last month or two, I said, "Mom? Do you remember when you caught me wearing that smock/dress and asked me if I wanted to be a girl and I told you no?" She said she did. I said, "Well I lied." I then went on to begin to explain what was happening, my diagnosis, the hormone therapy and that I was attracted to men sexually. She was very quiet until the end. As I finished she stated very clearly, "Honey, I love you no matter what and I have always wanted a daughter." I started crying and so did she and we started talking like a mom and a daughter would from that point forward. I asked her what Dad would do and she said not to worry, she would handle him. I told her I preferred to be called Natalie now and so the plan was set. That coming weekend, I set off for my hometown and left anything male behind. I pulled in the driveway and walked up to the door. I was wearing a leather coat down to about mid-thigh with a powder blue turtle neck sweater. Very light makeup, mascara and my hair was in a pony tail. I had in some very plain gold studs in my ears. I wore jeans and boots with a 1 inch heel. I took a deep breath and opened the front door. Mom was in the kitchen and dad was in the living room. He looked up as I entered and his mouth fell open. He yelled for my mom and said "well at least you're pretty" which made a tear well up in my eyes. Mom came in and threw her arms around me and we hugged and we cried. She looked at Dad and asked if he had hugged his daughter, Natalie yet. He grunted and stood up as mom took my coat. He came over and looked me up and down. His eyes lingered on my crotch and he asked if I still had "it". I smiled and explained that I did and that I simply wore something called a gaff and I was going to explain "tucking" when he held up his hand as if to say he didn't need to know more. He gave a hug and I kissed him on the cheek. Mom had made her pot roast and we ate and then she and I cleaned up while dad went back to the tv room. We settled in with a glass of wine and she wanted to know everything. She had done some homework at the library on transsexuals so she knew the basics. As I had my second glass of wine I opened up a bit more. I confided that I had lost my virginity to Ray and she didn't seem surprised. She had wondered if something was happening. I spent the next 3 days with them and they were wonderful. We opened presents and mom gave me some wonderful lacy things to wear and a couple of everyday outfits. I headed back on Tuesday as I had a date with Tony Wednesday night. I didn't have to be back to work until the following Wednesday so on a whim I called a very trendy place in the neighborhood and made an appointment for my hair and a makeover on Wednesday afternoon. I showed up on time and met the Ginny the stylist. She showed me back and put a smock over me and went to work. She clipped a bit here and there and then gave me a wash and a rinse. She put in some curlers and then set me under the dryer. As I waited, I had my first mani/pedi and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. Another girl came around and did my makeup for the evening and explained a bit more about color and shading than I had already learned in fashion magazines. She also asked if she could clean up my eyebrows a bit. I thought, "in for a penny..." so I let her go to work with her tweezers. My hair was dry and so I went back over for a comb out. She took out the curlers and proceeded to brush me out. When she was done she asked if I was ready. I nodded and she turned the chair around so I could see myself in the mirror. Staring back was a very attractive young woman with very blond hair! Her eyebrows were impossibly thin and arched. I was beside myself. I knew this would not be okay by the time I had to go back to work but I was fascinated with how feminine I looked and felt. Jerry was disappearing and I couldn't be happier. I thanked Ginny and gave her a fat tip and headed home to get dressed for my date with Tony. I decided to go all out so I started with a simple Felina Emmanuelle black lace garter belt. I rolled each stocking up my legs and attached it with the garter. The gentle tug always made me feel incredibly sexy. Next I put on some very naughty black bikini panties with lace. I had decided to go with a basic "little black dress". I had bought it at Macy's and it was by Ralph Lauren. It had a sweetheart neckline and came to 3 inches above my knees. It also fit very nicely across my hot little butt. I put on my 3 inch black pumps, simple gold stud earrings, and a simple gold foxtail chain necklace completed my outfit. My fragrance for the evening was Nina Ricci (thanks mom!) and I was set. I poured a glass of wine and then Tony was there. We headed out for a very nice dinner and as we were seated I looked across the room. There was my boss and his wife. Our eyes met and he smiled briefly and then there was a moment of recognition. He knew it was me and somehow I didn't care. We ate dinner and shared a nice bottle of wine. After dinner we headed to the club where we danced and partied with our friends. I met a very nice gentleman by the name of Bruce. And as things closed down, I asked Tony if Bruce might join us. He was okay with that and so we headed for my place. When we got there, I poured three glasses of wine as Tony rolled a joint. We chatted for a while and soon my dress and panties were off and I was being "spit roasted" by these two guys. We fucked and sucked until dawn and that was the night that I first took a double penetration with both Tony and Bruce fucking me at the same time. We had breakfast and then both men left. I crawled into bed and slept until 4 that afternoon. When I woke, I took a hot shower and put on my robe and went looking for coffee. My bottom was sore but I smiled at being a "sandwich" and then I remembered my boss. I figured with my new hair style and color, feminized eyebrows, and pierced earrings, I had worked my last day at the bank anyway so I decided to enjoy the rest of my time off. I stayed in Thursday but went out every night for the next 4 days. Over those 4 days, I think I was with either 3 or 4 guys. One night is very fuzzy and there were two guys passed out in my living room the next morning. Chapter 7 It was moment of truth time. It was Wednesday morning and I had to go back to work. No matter how I tried or what I put on, Jerry was gone. I had been on hormones for 6 months. I was a very full "A" cup. I was down to 130 lbs. and my measurements were now 36A-28-35.5. I had lost muscle mass in my shoulders and I had shoulder length blond hair, plucked eyebrows and manicured nails. I figured, "what the hell" so I got dressed in my new navy blue suit with a burgundy silk blouse by Ann Taylor. The skirt came to just above the knee. I wore my 2 inch navy pumps and did my makeup in a very low key professional way. I got in the car and headed out to work. When I parked in the lot, my heart was exploding out of my chest but I grabbed my purse and went in. When I got to my office, everything was boxed up and there was note from my boss to come see him before I did anything. He was with his secretary, Millie when I walked in who didn't seem surprised by the way I looked. My boss looked up and said, "Jerry, your job has been eliminated. I have to have your ID badge and then I can escort you to pick up your personal items and then to the door. You'll have a 2 month severance if you sign this document agreeing to release the company from any litigation." He handed me the pen and I signed. By 8:15 I was back in my car headed home. On the following Monday, I had a final hearing on my divorce. My lawyer said it was a formality but I went anyway. I ran into both my wife and her parents. They were not nice but I noticed something in her dad's eyes as he stared at me. I think he was undressing me. I decided to go ahead with the name change and so I filed that paperwork and became Natalie Jane Kaase. My favorite teacher had that last name. I got a new drivers license with an "F" under sex, filed for unemployment which got hung up because of the name change but got straightened out after about 6 weeks. I applied for a few jobs a week, partied with friends and had sex. I pretty much just enjoyed myself for the next few months. I did my yoga to stay in shape but my body continued to change. In March I went to my endocrinologist and he was very pleased with my blood work but he made a suggestion. He told me that since I was obviously committed to transition, I could reduce the stress on my body and not take as much medication if I had a fairly simply procedure called an orchiectomy. I asked what that was and he explained that they could remove my testicles and therefore I could stop taking Spirolactone. He also mentioned that it made things easier as far as "tucking" when wearing revealing clothes. I asked a few questions and I knew that I was technically just beginning my Real Life Test and so SRS was at least a year away. I had him make the appointment for Friday. I had now been on HRT for 11 months. My weight had stabilized at 130 lbs and my measurements were 36B-28-36. It had been over two months since my orchiectomy. My doc thought that I would probably end up at a full "B" cup as the women in my family were fairly well endowed by the "boobie fairy". I still hadn't found a job and money was starting to run low. I mentioned this to Tony one night after we had been out and he said, "Why not be an escort?" I said, "You mean a hooker?" He said I should consider it. So I did. I thought for several days but I was afraid I would never get out of that life. It was summer time and money was running out. I had been on HRT for a year. I was applying for jobs and sending out resumes but I was also getting a lot of sun time by the pool. I was a very full "B" cup and my measurements were 36B-28-37. I was laying by the pool and decided to go get a cold drink at the convenience store across the street. So I put on my shorts and flip flops, grabbed my purse and walked over. I was standing in front of the cold drinks trying to decide if I wanted iced tea or a wine cooler. My nipples were hard as rocks and quite apparent in my bikini top. I decided on an iced tea and as I bent over to grab it out of the cooler a voice behind me said, "Remember my name cuz you'll be screaming it later." I turned around to see a very tall, handsome black man. "Mike?" It was him. We chatted for a while and I found out that he had gotten divorced a few months ago. His company had moved him back here. He was a medical device sales rep and they weren't able to fill his territory so they moved him back here. He had been looking for me for several weeks and since I left the bank, he didn't know where to reach me. I invited him over to the apartment and we fucked for 2 days. Over the next couple of months, Mike and I began to date seriously. I had to tell Tony that we couldn't have sex anymore but we could be friends. I didn't see him much after that. Mike traveled 2 days every other week but every night he was in town, we were together. He sometimes spent the night at my apartment but mostly we were at his new house. By the end of the second month, I had about half my stuff at his place. I was in my 14th month of HRT and most of the changes that were going to happen had already occurred. One night were sitting on the sofa watching tv and cuddling and talking. I mentioned that I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I was all but out of money, I wasn't getting any interviews, and I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do. Mike turned to me and took both my hands which seemed so very tiny in his. He kissed me and said, "Natalie, I know you're independent and smart and talented. You're very capable of taking care of yourself. But I think I'm falling in love with you. I'd really like you to think about moving in here with me. You can take your time on your job search and I'll take care of you." I started to cry and I told him I was falling in love with him too and we hugged and kissed and made love until dawn. Chapter 8 I had been living with Mike as his girlfriend for 2 months. I hadn't found a job and I was thinking about going back to school. I also had noticed that Mike would occasionally stare at other women if they had big boobs. I told him I wanted to get mine done and he said he knew a plastic surgeon through his work who was fantastic. He assured me he would pay for it and it wasn't a problem. He still had most of the money he had made as a professional athlete so I should not worry. I reviewed some info with the doc and decided on implants that would give me a "D" cup. He explained that I would have some pain when I woke up from the anesthesia due to the skin stretching etc. That morning, they gave me some forms to sign for both procedures. I didn't ask any questions because I figured that each breast must be a separate procedure. They took me into surgery and put me under. When I came around, my chest was bandaged and so was my face. I looked at Mike and whispered "why?" He explained to me that, as a present, he had asked the doc to also do some work with my face. I was going to have a tiny, upturned nose; I had implants to give me higher cheekbones. My jaw had been redone to a more female contour and I had a trachea shave. I was still very sedated and realized what was done was done. Recovery was somewhat slow and there was a lot of pain but after about 3 weeks I was feeling human again. At the 6 week point, I was all but healed and when I looked in the mirror I couldn't believe my eyes. I was a gorgeous walking wet dream. I had a great body with huge boobs, a gorgeous face and blond hair down to the middle of my back. I loved what was happening to me and decided to go see the doc again about my lips. He gave me some injections and told me it would last about 3-6 months. I went home and welcomed my lover when he walked in by dropping to my knees and putting my new "cocksucker lips" to work. Chapter 9 The months flew by. I was redecorating our home and going to yoga. I was incredibly flexible thanks to yoga and estrogen and Mike was very happy about that. I reached the one year point on my real life test and my therapist recommended me for SRS. I thought I would be nervous but when I heard the words, I felt a great sense of serenity. I made the appointment and we drove to Wisconsin. I met the Doctor and I liked him. They explained the procedure to us again and I was ready. I had always hated having a penis. It never seemed like it was meant to be there. I was glad it was not going to be there anymore. I came around after the surgery and Mike was in the room with me. He came over to the bed and kissed me. He asked how his "lady" was and I smiled. I went back to sleep. We headed home after a week with our recovery instructions on everything from dilation to how long I had to wait before "taking a test drive" as Mike put it. We did our best with everything and I took care of my boyfriend's needs. I still liked sucking cock. It gave me a feeling of femininity and being a naughty girl at the same time. Finally, the night came. We went to dinner and a show. We came home and I went up to our bedroom while Mike locked up. I changed in to a very lacy silk nightgown with a slit up the leg. It was white. Mike came up to the bedroom and kissed me. It was a deep, passionate, loving kiss. He took off his clothes and then climbed into bed. He kissed me again and then my neck and down my chest. He used his tongue on my breasts and nipples as he sucked and licked and drove me crazy. Then down my stomach and to my pussy, he began to lick and nibble and suck my clit. As he licked me, he first inserted one finger. Slowly in and out he moved. Then a second finger was inserted and he moved slowly in and out. Then a third finger inserted and slowly in and out. His movements became quicker. He was finger fucking me and he moved faster and sucked on my clit. I was moaning and writhing on the bed and begging him for the "big black cock" of his. He began to lick and kiss his way back up my stomach and chest and then he placed himself over me between my legs. His cock looked enormous and for a second I wasn't sure I could take it all. But I reached out and took his manhood in my hand and guided him towards my pussy. Slowly and gently he entered me as I lost my virginity a second time. Finally he was all the way in and began to move. Faster and faster as I felt his balls on my ass as he pounded into my pussy. Harder and faster and deeper, I thought he was going to split me in two. I was in total ecstasy. I was finally Natalie. I think I had cum 4 times before my man cum inside me. We collapsed in each other's arms and I fell asleep with his cock still inside me. For the next few years, I was as happy as I could ever hope to be. Most people thought we were married as Mike had given me a ring. He enjoyed his work. We had lots of friends and he was tolerant of some of mine. I was volunteering at the animal shelter. I had learned to cook a little but we still went out on weekends. He had bought me a set of women's golf clubs and we played golf together. He teased me about hitting from the ladies tees and I acted impressed with how big and strong he was. Our sex life was incredible. He was a patient and creative lover. I could play innocent school girl or wanton whore. I took a class in pole dancing and we had one installed in our bedroom. For my 30th birthday, Mike took me to Hawaii. He said it was our Honeymoon and we had a fabulous time. We came home and life was wonderful. My mom and dad both passed away the next year. I went home for final arrangements and stayed for a couple of weeks to settle things. There wasn't much of an estate so when everything finalized after 9 months, I just deposited it into Mike's bank account. Chapter 10 Life was great and I was approaching my 32nd birthday. I was at the shelter taking a break and talking with one of the other volunteers. We had taken a break and were having a soda when the girl at the front desk came back and said there was a policeman out front asking for me. I went out front and shook his hand. He asked if I was Natalie Kaase. I said yes and he said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but Mike Jones was killed this afternoon in a car accident." The next thing I remember is lying on the floor with a group of people gathered around and the policeman cradling my head. I was in total and complete shock. I began sobbing uncontrollably. After a bit, I was able to regain some level of control and one of the people at the shelter drove me home. I called my therapist who I still saw every 3 months or so and told him what had happened. He came over immediately with some sedatives. The next morning I awoke and cried for the first 2 hours. This was a nightmare. I finally took a shower and got dressed. I made myself cup of hot tea and called the police. I spoke with the officer who had come to the shelter and asked for an update. He told me that the next of kin had been notified and I should contact them. For a second, I was puzzled thinking, "Who?" and then I remembered. Mike had a son, Jamal, in his previous marriage who would be about 25. Then a realization came over me. Mike had never spoke about a will. Then the doorbell rang. I went to the door and it was a young black man who looked to be in his mid 20's with corn-rowed hair and an earring. He was about 6'8" and appeared to be a body builder. He was massive and muscled and huge. He looked up and when I saw his face, I knew it had to be Jamal because he looked so much like Mike. I opened the door and said, "Jamal?" He nodded so I invited him in. I asked if I could get him something to drink and he declined. He didn't really say anything and was just walking around the house looking. I asked if there was anything I could get him and he turned and looked at me and said, "Just lookin' at my new crib." I said, "What?" and he said, "Tha's right. My new crib." I told him, "I'm sorry. This is my home." He turned around and grabbed my wrist hard. "Listen bitch. Daddy didn't have no will. Mama told me 'bout you so I know you jes' an ol' white fag panty who'. My crib." He was twisting my arm and hurting me. I asked him to let me go and then he reached down and he put his hand in my crotch. "Don't worry, bitch. I like white pussy and so do all my friends." (to be continued...)