THE FUNHOUSE
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The Funhouse free porn video
Boonville. An aptly named town, as it's about as far in the boonies as
one can get. The typical routine is one of sleep, work, sleep, any and
all excitement kept to a bare minimum in this town of 2,000 people, who
are mostly concerned with keeping the stoic tradition of boredom alive
and well in their families.
However, for one week a year everything changes. Bright lights, laughter,
and visitors from all over flock to Boonville for a single reason - the
Carnival.
Not the most creatively named fest, The Carnival was host to
rollercoasters, Tilt-A-Whirls, cotton candy, and teenage romance.
Although this gathering would be laughable by any visitor of Disneyworld
or Six Flags, it still provided a massively fun time for its residents,
and even visitors from the city, looking to get away from their busy
lives and have fun at the small town gathering.
Although the Carnival was essentially the same setup every year, there
had been a new addition to the lineup. A curious old building set up
behind the midway, it was free of any and all decorations, the cheesy
murals that covered all of the rides were absent from this attraction. In
fact, the only thing that gave any hint of this building belonging where
it was - a small sign done in a sloppy script, proclaiming this place
as...
The Funhouse.
Dave, Rick, and Jackie had decided to hit up the Funhouse late at night,
after sneaking down a bottle of vodka behind the bingo tent. They had
laughed nervously and dared each other to go in separately, but no one
had the stones to approach the old creepy building on their own. The
alcohol had loosened them up, and they were now ready to see what the old
place had in store.
Their tickets proved to be no good here, since no one was outside
operating the attraction. Already, a bonus - free admission! They
cautiously stepped inside, and Dave was the first to break the silence.
"Hello?" he called out, his voice echoing through the building. "Anyone
home?"
The only response was deafening silence, and the trio giggled nervously
as they entered the building. Stretching before them was a long hall,
making the house look much larger from the inside, with dozens of doors
stretching out far in front of them.
"This is really... REALLY creepy..." Jackie whispered. "It's so awesome!"
Jackie bounded off down the hall, looking over each door as she passed
it. The guys, not wanting to be outdone by a girl, followed after her,
and through the door that she had just barged through. They headed into
the room, and gazed around at the incredible lack of decoration, minus
one thing - a big wooden board with a hole in the middle, standing in the
center of the room. This board, unlike the rest of the Funhouse, was
covered in colors, brightly standing like a beacon in the drab
surroundings.
"Whoa... what the," Rick said, walking up to the wooden creation, looking
it over. "What is this thing?"
"Hey," Jackie said, pointing at the middle of it. "Look! Is that... is
that a hand?"
The three explorers gasped as they made out what the box had painted on
it, a picture of a person's body, jigsawed and out of order, like a big,
flat Rubiks Cube. The bits and pieces of the body were varied in size,
but most were far too small or disjointed that it was impossible to make
out what it was supposed to be. The hole in middle of it added to the
curious thing, which now had Rick's full attention. He walked behind the
wall, inspecting it closely.
"Geez, this thing is creepy as hell," Rick said, running his fingers over
the opening. "Is this some sort of weird art gallery?"
"Hey, I have an idea... stick your face in it!" Jackie laughed.
"What, why?"
"Why not?" she laughed, "I dare you to stick your face in it! What, are
you scared?"
Dave laughed. "Yeah Rick! Are you scared? It's just a hole!"
Rick glared at the two of them. He had no idea where this weird idea of
sticking his face through the board came from, but he'd be damned if his
friends thought he was afraid of something. "Fine!" he said. "But this
makes me one up on both of you, you sure you want to waste a dare on
something stupid like this?"
Dave and Jackie nodded, laughing. Since a dare isn't something you can
just walk out of, Rick stuck his face through the opening as far as it
would go.
"Fine, but remember this when I dare you both to..."
The board suddenly sprung to life, dividing itself into big square hinged
sections, and quickly collapsed all around Rick, forming a box, sealing
him inside. Dave and Jackie froze solid, their laughter at an end, and
Rick's screaming soon filled the room.
"What... WHAT THE HELL?" Rick shouted, struggling in his tight confines.
"Help! HELP ME!"
Jackie and Dave ran to the box and started pulling and kicking at it, but
found the thing was tightly closed. Not only that, it had attached itself
to the floor, and was impossible to move.
"Hurry up!" Rick screamed. "I can't move!"
Jackie was the first to react, her eyes went wide and her hands flew off
the box as if they had been doused in boiling water. Dave was next, and
they both backed away from Rick, their faces losing all color.
"What? What is it?!"
"The shapes..." Jackie whispered. "Rick, the shapes..."
"...are moving," finished Dave. Time froze for Rick as terror washed down
his spine and into his stomach.
Rick couldn't see it, but Dave and Jackie weren't making it up, and he
could tell by their faces this was true. The strange jigsaw of a drawing
had started sliding around, the paint moving on its own by an unseen
force. Rick started breathing heavier and heavier, the tiny box giving
him no room to move at all, his chest pressing against the wood with
every breath. Jackie hugged Dave tight as the paint moved faster and
faster, as if a ghostly force was solving this bizarre puzzle, and sure
enough, an image began to form.
"What's going on?" Rick said, seeing his friends' expressions change.
"It's... it's an arm!" Dave said, pointing. "The picture is starting to
come together!"
The paint started to settle in place, the image becoming clearer and
clearer, until Jackie and Dave's faces twisted in confusion at the
realization of what it was.
"Dude..." Dave said. "You're not going to believe this."
"WHAT!" Rick was out of patience. With the unseen painting and the
inability to move, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"It looks like a..." Jackie's voice trailed off as the final square of
paint snapped itself into place. "It's..."
Rick screamed. He screamed loud, suddenly, and constantly. Jackie and
Dave ran up to the box.
"Oh God!" Rick screamed. "There's something in here with me! THERE'S
SOMETHING IN HERE WITH ME!"
Rick thrashed as what felt like snakes slithered all around him, big
snakes that made the already small space even smaller, and far more
horrifying. He tried to throw his hands up and protect himself, but the
box was far too small to allow for such movement, his hands and arms held
to his sides by the walls of the box. The snakes seemed to multiply, and
multiply, and multiply... and then squeeze. They started squeezing Rick
very tightly, and his body became compacted in the box as their number
grew. Nearly out of room, his breast shallow with the pressure of the
assailants within his prison, Rick was on the verge of passing out.
Jackie started to cry, and stepped back from the box, Dave hugging her
tight. Rick's eyes stared at them, hollow with fear, until a large, soft,
heavy monster bit into the top of his head, it's lips swallowing his
scalp and sealing themselves to his skin, and all bits of sanity were
momentarily shattered.
"AAAHHHH! IT'S EATING ME! IT'S EATING ME!"
He glared at his friends.
"What is it?" he cried. "What's on the box?! Tell me what it is! Please!"
"It's a..." Dave started. "It's a..."
And with that, the sides of the box collapsed, and a wave of white satin
and crinoline burst out from Rick in all directions. Rick stumbled, his
feet making solid clicks as he staggered to stay standing, and as he took
in a huge breath, his mind couldn't comprehend what he saw.
Jackie and Dave jaw's dropped, staring at the biggest, whitest wedding
dress they had ever seen, which was now home to a rather upset male
occupant, whose hands began grabbing at the heavy creation, shooting
around his body, exploring the bizarre situation he was in.
"What... what?! What!" Rick blurted out, struggling to maintain balance
on what he would later find out to be a pair of beautiful white heels.
"What is this? What did it do to me?!"
The dress was unbelievably huge, and covered in gaudy details, ribbons,
bows, strings of pearls, and sparkling crystals. The incredibly overdone
crystal detail shot tiny glints of light around the room like a disco
ball. The big skirts fluffed out several feet in every direction from his
waist, covering a massive bell of rustling crinoline that lapped and
licked the floor with every movement. Looking like something that
belonged on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Jackie couldn't help but let out a
tiny giggle.
"Jackie! This isn't FUNNY!" he shouted, struggling to walk as the massive
weight of the dress slowed his movement.
"Your hair..." Jackie said, covering her mouth. "Oh man, your hair!"
Rick threw his hands up, which landed on a huge, immaculate updo
constructed of soft blonde hair, embedded pearls, and a soft veil
sprouting from the back of it, which rested on the huge bulk of his
skirts. His eyes widened as his hands dug deep into the feminine
nightmare, and pulled and yanked hard. The hair might as well have been
his own, the big monstrosity refusing to budge, or even pop itself out of
style, or mess itself up in the slightest bit.
Jackie and Dave weren't sure what to do, their horror dissolving into
confusion as they stared at their friend fighting and pulling and
screaming at a giant dress. Jackie giggled again, and this time the
laughter spread to Dave.
"Shut up!" Rick screamed, shuffling and swishing his way toward them
slowly. "Oh Christ, I think I'm wearing heels!"
He stopped and started kicking his feet against each other and the
ground, but his hidden new shoes weren't going anywhere.
"Help me! Shut up, stop laughing, and help me!"
"OK, OK," Dave snickered. "Calm down, man! You have to admit, this is a
pretty cool trick for a funhouse to have! Usually it's just weird mirrors
and bored staff wandering around."
"Yeah, like, how did they do that?" Jackie said, looking over the dress.
"I can't even begin to figure it out! Also... you look really pretty! Are
you sure you want us to let you out? You'll make every girl at the
Carnival jealous!" she began laughing again, which solicited a furious
glare from the bridal victim.
"Undo this dress," Rick growled. "NOW!".
Jackie pouted as Dave moved behind Rick, pushing the big skirt out of the
way as best as he could, sinking into the gown as he started fumbling
with the back.
"Hurry up!"
"Dude..." Dave grabbed and pulled all over the back of the dress.
"There's like, nothing here. No zipper, no buttons, nothing." Rick's
embarrassment began to move toward dread once again.
"Don't worry," Dave fished around in his pocket for his knife. "I can cut
you out."
Rick crossed his arms over the sparkly top, which was home to two large
padded spheres, the dress was rigged to provide the full illusion of
femininity. Dave started sawing away, then slicing, then sawing again,
followed by a look of growing bewilderment.
"Hey, this thing won't cut," he said, trying to slice a bit away from the
big hairdo. "Dude, your hair won't even cut! Wow, this is fucked up!"
"What do you mean?!" Rick said, grabbing the knife away. He grabbed the
front of the bodice and started trying to slice it apart, but the blade
wouldn't do a thing. He tried cutting and slicing the huge skirt, but the
fabric stayed strong. Even the giant blonde sculpture on his head
withheld the knife's assault, leaving Rick trembling in fear. Jackie and
Dave didn't share his fear, instead they were again overcome with drunken
laughter.
"SHUT UP!" Rick yelled, "This isn't funny! How the hell do I take this
stupid thing off! I look ridiculous!"
"That's WHY we're laughing!" Jackie said, running her hands over the big
skirts. "Come on, let's go show everyone how pretty you are!"
Rick slapped Jackie hard across the face. He wasn't sure why he did it,
but this situation had become too much for him.
"Dude, NOT cool," Dave said, hugging a now bawling Jackie. "Seriously,
this is just a prank pulled by whoever runs this place, and now you're
hitting chicks. NOT cool." And with that, Jackie and Dave left.
"Have fun getting home, bro. Maybe some hick outside will be nice enough
to drive you back to the city."
As they left, Rick quickly tried running after them, the big skirts and
crinolines swishing against his legs, his hair bobbing and swaying with
every movement. He grabbed as much of the front of the dress as he could,
holding it up as he had seen many a Disney princess do.
"I'm sorry! Please, don't leave me here!" he cried out, mincing his way
through the door, fighting and pulling the huge bulk of dress through the
narrow opening. He made it out of the room just in time to see his
friends exit the front door, and a wash of helplessness made its way over
his body.
What WAS he going to do? The giant dress made it impossible to walk
anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, and what the hell was it made
out of? He looked over the thing, seeing no buttons, no zippers, no
seams, just a solid construct of ultimate femininity, sparkling and
sending little bits of light all around the hall. His head was hot under
the huge updo, a style that only seemed to exist in comics and
caricatures.
He looked like he belonged on top of a wedding cake.
After much struggling, swishing, swaying, and fighting to pull the big
dress through the front door, Rick took the plunge and left the Funhouse,
everyone outside stopping and staring at the guy in the big dress.
Immediately, everyone began laughing, cell phones coming out to snap
pictures for numerous Facebook accounts, guaranteeing that everyone he
knew would eventually see him like this. He pushed past the laughing and
sneering crowd, pulling the big gown along with him.
"Look mommy! She's so pretty!"
Rick looked over, seeing a smiling little girl standing beside a
snickering mom.
"I want to be her when I grow up!" Other little girls took notice, and he
was suddenly the fantasy of every girl around him. His face burned hot
from embarrassment as he made his way past the laughing crowd, and
swishing out to the Carnival in search of someone to help him.
After he had left the crowd, a group of guys turned their attention back
toward the old building. "Geez, what the hell is that place all about?"
"I dunno, obviously some sort of fag hangout. You saw that freak."
"You guys scared?"
One of the girls grinned at the guys, and pointed at the Funhouse.
"I *dare* you to check it out!"
A dare not being something you can just back out of, the guys found
themselves accompanying their girlfriends into the building, the door
slamming shut behind them.
Lynne
- 11.03.2021
- 26
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