The Bet - Chapter 63 free porn video

The Bet by Karen Singer Chapter 63 (Friday - week 9) Her dream was disturbing. And the longer it went on, the more frustrated she seemed to get. It was one dream, one subject, one event... but that one event managed to somehow play itself out over and over again - for various vague reasons. The event of course, was Sissy's testing. In her dream she watched as Sissy quickly regained all his control - almost immediately. She watched in despair as he stood over her... lorded over her... and preened and crowed about it like a proud rooster. And she felt small and defeated at his feet. Yet for some reason, she refused to accept that outcome, and somehow she managed to push everything back to the start again - back to the point before he still needed to try to regain his control. And the dream played out differently. This time she willed harder that she wanted to win, and for a while it seemed like she would. But as before, once again he regained everything. And he stood proud... and she felt defeated. Again she refused to accept it, and again the dream played out differently... and again he won. And again... and again... and again. She was becoming more and more despondent. More and more frustrated. More and more upset. And then, on towards morning, somehow, she finally won. And in her dream, she moved on to a new life, to a new house... only to find that Sissy wasn't there with her. He was gone again. Gone because, despite the bet, she couldn't hold him. She had no way to hold him with her... because there were some things he still wouldn't live without, no matter what. So she got angry again... and the testing replayed itself... and as before, she lost. And she lost... and she lost... His dream was chaotic, as if too many different things... too many different scenarios were all jumbled together at the same time. He was home, in his apartment... his apartment that was decorated and stuffed with wonderful new things... and people. But he knew that the one person who wasn't there, was Mel. She would never be there again. There were many people gathered around his new pool table, all having a great time. His huge TV set was on and there was music blaring from his fantastic sound system. So much great stuff now filled his living room... and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves thoroughly. Someone approached him from the side. "I'll take one of those," the man said. Chad turned toward him and curtseyed before he held out the tray full of beer he had been carrying. The man took one and deposited an empty bottle on the tray in its place. "Thank you," Chad replied in his sissy voice before curtseying for the man again. He turned and walked toward the kitchen where he could deposit the empty beer bottle in the trash. As he walked, he could feel the massive ruffles of his beautiful pink sissy dress caressing the tops of his legs. Heavenly. And humiliating. So many people there, partying in his apartment, and he was once again reduced to nothing more than a total simpering sissy - right in front of all of them. And he knew there was no way out for him. He was stuck like that, and would be forever. He was totally useless for anything except everyone else's enjoyment. And yet, he had won the bet. Everything in the room seemed to confirm that very fact! But still, he was once again demoted to being nothing more than a sissy - despite winning the bet. The problem was, being a sissy was who he really was... and everyone knew it. So that's the way they always treated him. He carried his tray full of beer - beer that he didn't like and never drank - out through the crowd of people again, his massive skirts brushing not only his legs, but they also brushed against so many other people in the crowded room - people who were all mostly ignoring him. His journey through the room took him to his bedroom. He entered to see who might be inside... who might want one of his beers. Walking into his bedroom though was like walking into a different world. Where his living room had been decorated with adult furniture and adult toys, his bedroom was instead decorated with baby girl furniture and baby girl toys. It was a drastic contrast to the living room on the other side of the door. It was a room for a sissy - a big sissy. A room where any normal person would feel squeamish - and so did he. But it was his room. It was the only kind of furniture he deserved anymore - because he was nothing more than a big sissy. And everything in the room confirmed what he already knew - that he had lost the bet. He had come into the room to see if anyone there wanted one of his beers, but the only person in the room, was him. As he looked around at his beautiful crib and his little play table and so many other things, he realized that nobody else would be in there... not even Mel. But of course Mel wouldn't be there. She would never be there again. Even though he has lost the bet. He went back out to the crowd of people on the other side of the door, the side where he had won the bet. The side where he was still a sissy despite winning the bet. Because no matter how things turned out, he would always be a sissy. A sissy who deserved to be treated as nothing more than just what he was. As he wandered with his tray of beer among the people, he was more aware than ever of the delicious swishing and caressing from his ridiculous but amazing ruffled underskirts. If only everyone could feel what he was feeling right now! He'd bet any of them would absolutely love to feel the wonderful caressing and teasing that his skirts were giving him just then. So sensual. So sexy. And when coupled with the feelings from his super bulky and oh-so-wet diaper, it was almost more than he could bear. All of it combined to make him feel so sexually alive. To make him feel so much sexual need. To make him feel... uh oh! Even in his dream he knew better than to allow any of those feelings to affect his tiny little penis - always encased in its hard plastic shell where it belonged so it would be of no use to him at all. He was a sissy, he wasn't allowed the use of it. He switched his thinking to imagine something long and sexy sliding in and out of his backside instead - much better! But even in his dream, he was aware that something felt different inside his diaper. Something felt... odd. Something felt... weird. Something felt... wrong! Even in his dream he realized that the massive bulk of his diapers - always pressing on him... were now also putting pressure on a little part of him that never felt that feeling before. He was feeling things in a place where he wasn't supposed to feel anything! A place where it was dangerous to feel anything! A place where such feelings could hurt! Panicking a little, he was pulled out of his dream, and consequently out of sleep entirely. His hand snaked down to press against the front of his bulky diapers... to press and to prod - uselessly against so many ultra-wet and bulky diapers. And only then did he remember that he was no longer wearing the chastity device that had become almost a part of him for such a very long time. He mentally breathed a sigh of relief because he wouldn't have to worry about that kind of pain just then. And a moment later, he revised his thinking - hopefully he wouldn't ever have to worry about that kind of pain ever again. He opened his eyes now to the light of day. Full daylight - later than he usually woke up. No alarm had pulled him out of slumber this time - there was no longer any need. And the full realization fell on him in one huge swoop: His period of servitude to Mel was over now. A new period had just begun. He now had today and tomorrow to prove what he had known from the very start - that you simply can't make someone incontinent in only two months. It can't be done! And now he would be the proof. He now had two days to regain all his control and prove it - and consequently win the bet. The time had come. Finally. But as he rolled off of his blow-up mattress onto his knees - not scattering any empty baby bottles as he usually did, a single odd thought came to his mind. It was something remembered from last night. Something she had said. "Why can't you just lose?" He struggled to his feet. The massive bulk of his diapers keeping his legs spread wide apart. His diapers were massive, and heavy, and wet, and yes, messy too - as always. And he didn't remember one time waking up in the middle of the night to wet... or to mess. As usual. That much of his control was going to take a bit longer to get back - or so he supposed. But he wasn't worried about that as far as winning the bet because he was more than sure he could regain all his daytime control very quickly. And that would be all he needed to win. Why can't you just lose? Following a pattern that had been ingrained in him for two months now, he stumbled wide-leggedly out to the kitchen. There was no note on the counter of course, but he did look for it. He went straight to his refrigerator and pulled out three baby bottles... before he remembered that he didn't need to drink them anymore. He put them all back and closed his refrigerator again. But as he turned away from it, he realized he was thirsty. He was used to drinking three bottles first thing every morning! He always did it! Turning back around - because he was thirsty, he opened the refrigerator again and pulled out one of the bottles - because he was thirsty. There was no sense looking for a glass or anything else to use to drink from, he didn't have any. So he put the bottle to his mouth as he had done so often, and he drank - because he was thirsty. And following the same pattern he had always followed, he carried his one single bottle out to his one single solitary chair - that faced a wall full of shaming pictures. He sat and put the bottle back to his mouth as he stared from picture to picture - to the bet contract - to the designs Sandy had done for his apartment - and back to the childishly colored pictures again. And everything he looked at brought back a treasured memory. His chance to live the dream was over now. Once he regained all his control, all he would have left would be his memories. Wonderful, amazing memories. And he would very much miss all of it. The dream was over. Why can't you just lose? There was no smell of freshly brewed coffee to wake her. No alarm, nothing to urge her out of her sleep... except time... and the need for coffee. Even before she sat up in bed, she had the urge to call for Sissy to come and serve her. But she remembered that he wouldn't be there today. Calling for him today would be useless. And unless she won this bet, calling for him ever again would be useless. And she already missed him. She forced herself out of bed and grabbed her robe as she headed out to her kitchen, or more precisely, out to her coffee maker. She had to prepare the coffee herself, adding just the right amount of coffee grounds, filling the carafe with water, dumping it into the coffee maker, turning the damn thing on... and waiting... waiting... waiting! It was so much better when Sissy had done it for her - even for such a short time as he had. The coffee finished making. She filled her cup... and took a sip... and thought about Sissy - Chad! Was he up yet? Had he regained all his control yet? Had he won already and she had lost? She had no way of knowing any of it, and the wondering was already starting to eat at her. Why can't you just lose? In a fit of frustration, she had yelled that at him just before he left last night. It was what she wanted - naturally. And she just knew that it was what he wanted too... he just didn't know it. Was she presumptuous to think that? Not to her way of thinking. Chad... Sissy... Chad might think otherwise though. She carried her coffee out to the living room and sat in her usual chair with it. Was it possible that he could win? Was it possible that she could win? When she looked at all the evidence she had so far - what little there really was, everything pointed to the fact that he was already totally and seemingly permanently incontinent. At least it looked that way. But looks could be deceiving. And she knew that despite the evidence, he still seemed to be awfully confident that he could win this thing. And if he won, then she would lose. And she would lose not just the bet, but her dreams. And... she would also lose... him. Why can't you just lose? The massive bulk of his diapers were still in place as Chad shaved his face with his all too feminine pink razor and using women's moisturizer instead of shaving cream. It was amazing how good a shave he was capable of getting with it. Better, he thought, than regular men's shaving cream. Maybe he'd continue to use it in the future. Maybe. With his face freshly shaved, he automatically grabbed a couple of disposable diapers to put on immediately after his shower. And then he stopped himself. Did he need them? It was time now to start trying to regain his control - even though he hadn't even started trying yet. So did he need them? But knowing that it would take a few hours at least to regain that control, he knew it would be safer to protect himself than be sorry. The diapers could easily be pulled off as soon as he felt the need to go. Besides, he hadn't yet explored any of those boxes out there in the living room... the boxes that held all his old male clothes. He still needed to find his old male underwear. He'd look for it later - just as soon as he showered and got a couple of fresh diapers on to protect himself. Then he could open all those boxes and enjoy exploring their contents. With that plan mapped out, he turned and entered the shower the same way he always did - not once looking in the direction of his toilet - still wrapped in layer after layer of plastic wrap so that he couldn't get into it to use it. In the shower, he took the time to wash his whole body as well as his hair. He shaved his leg... or rather he shaved his left leg. He was just starting on his right leg when he realized that he didn't need to do that anymore either. But having just one shaved leg wasn't very good - so he continued and shaved them both - before searching the rest of his body for any other stray hairs that needed to be attended to as well. Once his body was clean and dried, as fast as he could, he grabbed one of the diapers he had ready and got it on - before he leaked all over the place. The diaper was fresh and dry, and was soon accompanied by a second diaper on top of it. No use having to worry about changing too soon if by any chance he would have a little trouble with regaining his control - just as soon as he started trying. Besides, the two diapers felt better than just one... more comfortable, sexier, and much more secure. He left the bathroom without once glancing at the toilet there that was still wrapped up in plastic. Why can't you just lose? His thoughts turned back to Mel. Was she up yet? Was she dressed as well? He was tempted to phone her... just to say hello, but he decided against that idea. She was probably sleeping late today. Probably very late! They had been at it until midnight last night. Yeah, he was sure she was enjoying a little much needed sleep. Wearing just his diapers, he went out to the living room and kicked one of the biggest boxes out into the middle of the floor where he could get at it easier. He pulled the tape off of it so he could open it. Why can't you just lose? Inside the box, he saw plastic! He had to lug out the entire thing before he could see for sure that it was all his pants inside that plastic. Obviously Mel hadn't bothered to unwrap any of it before she shoved the whole thing into the box. No problem, he would unwrap them just as soon as he got them into his closet. Was she up yet? What was she doing? Why can't you just lose? Mel wrapped her wet hair in a towel before stepping out of the shower and throwing her robe back around her. Was he up yet? He did like to sleep late. And last night had been later than usual, so he was probably still sleeping. She was tempted to call him, but there were too many reasons not to. She stared at her closet for a few minutes before turning away and going to her dresser instead. She pulled out a bra and panties and an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt - all of which got thrown on her bed before she got dressed. Despite how casually she had dressed, there was no reason for her not to spend a little extra time on her hair - time she rarely bothered to spend. With a tiny bit of makeup, the result was... pleasing. Was he up yet? Surely he had to be. Had he regained all his control yet? Stop it! He's probably still sound asleep! And the more she thought about it, the more she wanted him to stay sound asleep. The longer he slept, the less time he would have to regain all that control. Why can't you just lose? He found his underwear - what little good it did him. He left it in the box. He didn't have a drawer to put it in anyway. He found his shirts, he even found his old wallet. Everything was opened and explored thoroughly - as if it was Christmas. But it seemed like there were fewer boxes to open than he remembered having to lug up those stairs from her car yesterday. All too soon, everything was found. Was she up yet? Surely she was. What was she doing? Should he bother to call her? No, there was no reason. She was probably glad to be rid of him for a while. Glad for the little bit of solitude she could enjoy. So now that he had found all his stuff, what should he do? Get dressed he supposed. He picked up the big package of wrapped up pants and carried them to his closet. He struggled with the plastic wrap to rip it off so he could hang them all up - right next to his silly sissy dresses. Men's clothes in his closet again - yes! And soon he would be wearing them! He paid no attention at all to the yearning he felt to wear something feminine and pretty instead. Today he could dress normally again. Today he could dress like he should - like a man! Instead of hanging his shirts up, he just grabbed one. He caught sight of his underwear in another box as he did it, but he knew he was going to leave the underwear alone. He wasn't ready for it yet. He hadn't started trying to regain his control yet. He did grab a pair of his old socks though. Those he could definitely use right away. Why can't you just lose? He slipped the socks on out in the living room, his shirt as well. The shirt seemed a lot bigger than he remembered. Too big. Of course, he was used to wearing everything now with those breast forms glued to his chest, so of course everything would seem to fit strangely, but for some reason, the shirt just seemed - to big. He grabbed a different one instead, and that one seemed too big as well. Had he lost that much weight? Yeah, he knew he had. Socks and a shirt... and diapers, he wandered back to his closet and selected a pair of pants. He pulled them on - the first pair of pants, women's or men's, that he had worn in ages. And as he pulled them into place - even over top of the two wet diapers he was wearing, he was surprised at how big they seemed - worse than his shirts. The waist was particularly loose. He tried another pair... then another. All with the same results. They were all too big. He finally chose a pair of jeans and left them on, adding a belt that he tightened as far as possible to keep the pants from falling down. The waist was bunched up horribly in several places. They looked - ugly. They felt just as bad. He was tempted to grab a pair of women's pants instead or maybe even a skirt, but today he could dress as a man again, and as a man, he could just tough it out. At least his old sneakers fit. It just felt odd to wear them. They were heavy and flat... and ugly. Not that he consciously thought that. He surveyed himself in the full-length mirror hung on his closet door. He looked... awful! It was the best way he could describe it. Not even counting his hair that he hadn't bothered to do anything with, none of his clothes fit at all! He looked - awful! But today he was a man again. And as a man, he would just have to make do. He did make note that he needed to remove his earrings before he went out later. The small sparkle from his earlobes was a bit out of place with the manly image he wanted to see. He briefly wondered what Mel was wearing. Was she even dressed yet? Or was she laying around her living room in just her robe? She could look awfully sexy when she wanted to... or even when she didn't want to for that matter. His stomach growled. He was hungry. No baby food breakfast for him today! In fact, no baby food at all anymore - unless he wanted some. His thoughts turned immediately toward going out to get some breakfast, but before he could go, he had to do something about his hair! But what? He grabbed his brush and brushed it this way and that. But since Cassie had cut it so femininely, it was hard to make it look totally masculine. He figured a haircut would be needed very soon. Maybe he should ask Cassie to trim it before he went to the barber shop so it wouldn't be quite so embarrassing for him. But for today... and he guessed tomorrow as well, his hair probably had to stay the way it was. And it would have to look awful - just like everything he was wearing. Mel wandered aimlessly around her apartment. There wasn't anything she could concentrate on, mostly because she couldn't stop thinking about Chad... Sissy... Chad. Had he regained his control yet? Was he even awake yet for that matter? Once again she was tempted to call him, and once again she realized that she shouldn't. Instead of wandering one more time around her apartment, she opened her door and went out to the balcony instead. No sign of him, and his car was still down below. So he was either still asleep or he hadn't bothered to come out yet - not that he had any reason to come outside. What was he doing in there? Frustrated, she leaned over the railing to watch the few cars going in and out. Why couldn't he just lose? Before going down to his car, he found his wallet. He had to pull everything out of his female wallet in his purse and transfer it all to his old male wallet. No more carrying a purse! Hooray! Some of the things from his purse wound up in the pockets of his too large pants. There were a few things left that he was tempted to stuff in his pockets as well, but they were things he had never carried before - as a man, so he left them. He took stock of himself. Hair combed - check. Earrings removed - check. Male shirt, with no boobs underneath - check. Male pants and a belt to hold them up - check. Male shoes and socks - check. Wallet and keys in their proper pockets - check. And two diapers underneath, already fairly wet - also check. He'd start thinking about controlling himself right after breakfast. But right now, he was just too hungry. He opened the door and went out. Mel turned at the sudden sound of his door opening. And there - he - was. Looking... strange! She smiled. "Morning," she said. Chad was surprised to see Mel outside. He could tell that she had been just standing there looking at the parking lot below. She had dressed very casually he could tell, but her hair seemed to look particularly good today. She looked - great! "Morning?" he replied casually. She stared at him. She wanted to laugh, but she dared not. His clothes didn't fit! They were all too big! He looked - ridiculous - and not in the ridiculous way he used to look - as a sissy. But she steeled herself and said nothing about it. Had he regained his control yet? She wanted to ask so badly, but she dared not. Let's just keep this... casual. "I was just going out to get something to eat," he said. She smiled again. "Want some company?" "Sure!" he said gladly. He waited as she went back inside and grabbed her purse. It didn't take her long at all before she was back and locking her door behind her. "Want to take my car?" he offered. She considered it. "No. We can take mine. Face it, mine's a lot more comfortable." "No argument there," he replied as he started down the steps. She followed, but her eyes were on his butt the whole way. Was he wearing diapers under those pants, or regular men's underwear? She couldn't really tell - not with as big as those pants appeared to be on him. Geez! Had he really lost that much weight? But she had known beforehand that he had. It was just now, now that he was wearing his old clothes again, that it became so obvious as to how much he had really lost. Chad was a little disappointed. She hadn't said one word about the fact that he was dressed as a man again. Not one word! Okay, he knew his clothes didn't exactly fit and they didn't look very good, but she still could have said... something. "Do you want to eat there, or just bring it home?" Mel asked. "Let's eat there," Chad suggested. "I don't have a table at my place." "I've got one at mine," she replied. "I know, but I think I'd rather just eat out this time." Was he afraid to come to her place for some reason? Did he secretly hate her so much that he didn't want to set foot in her apartment again? Silly thinking she knew, but she couldn't help thinking it. Instead of fast-food, Mel drove them to a nicer diner. She let him open the door for her to enter first - like a gentleman. They took seats across from each other in one of the booths. This would be his first breakfast without eating baby food in a long time. Chad ordered pancakes, two eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits. Mel ordered one fried egg and some bacon and toast... and coffee of course. Chad added coffee to his order too. Talk was sparse while they waited, as if neither of them knew what to talk about - or as if they were afraid to talk about anything they really wanted to discuss. After their coffee came, Mel asked if he had unpacked the boxes yet. "Only one of them," Chad replied. "But I've opened and gone through everything." "Anything missing?" Mel asked - knowing that there shouldn't be. "Not that I can tell," Chad replied. "So you don't have everything put away yet?" she asked. He shook his head. "Not yet. I unpacked and hung up my pants, but everything else is still in the boxes. I don't really have any place else to put most of it." She nodded. But then that was what some of this bet was about. If he won, she would buy him an entire apartment full of new furniture - and a few other things as well. A pool table? Whatever. Not knowing what else to say, they both lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Breakfast was delivered, one plate for Mel, two for Chad. They both started in hungrily. Chad went from breakfast item to breakfast item, greedily sampling everything, enjoying not just the chance to eat normal food again, but also the fact that he could chew it as well as eat it in bigger bites since he could use a normal fork - like a grown-up. And despite the fact that he had two plates piled high with food while Mel had only one, Chad was finished eating first. Not because all his food was gone, but because his stomach was totally full! As much as he hated it, Chad had to push both his plates away while they were still somewhat loaded with food, and sit there and sip his coffee while Mel finished her breakfast. The waitress came over and refilled their coffee cups. "Is something wrong with your breakfast?" she asked, her voice full of concern. "No," Chad was forced to admit. "I'm afraid my eyes were bigger than my stomach." He got a rather strange look from the waitress for that, as if she didn't believe him. But then, he had ordered an awful lot of food. The awkward silence continued as he sipped his coffee while Mel finished her breakfast. Mel knew it was time to leave, she had finished eating and he had been just sitting there waiting on her... even though it hadn't really taken her that long to eat. But as she ate, she had watched him drinking his coffee - two cups now. He was used to drinking a rather fantastic amount of liquid every day to keep him peeing. How would those two cups of coffee affect him? Did he need to pee yet? Did he even know if he had to pee yet? Or did he have full control - enough that he could make it home again before going to the bathroom. She noticed that he hadn't gotten up to use the restroom at the restaurant - yet. "Ready?" Chad asked as she finally finished. As much as Mel knew it was time to leave, she delayed. "Would you mind," she said, "if we just sat here and had one more cup of coffee? I don't think I'm ready to go home and face my empty apartment yet." It wasn't the real reason of course. She was just hoping that all the extra liquid in his system might work against him. If she couldn't do it with baby bottles, she would do it any way she could. Empty apartment? Despite how awkward breakfast had been, Chad agreed. They waited for the waitress to come close enough so they could ask for more coffee. They waited longer until she actually brought it - she brewed a fresh pot - according to her. And once they had their coffee, they both sipped it and stared at each other in awkward silence. "Your apartment feels empty?" he finally asked, not knowing what else to say. It was a moment before she could answer. "Yeah. Believe it or not. I miss having you around. I really missed having you there this morning! I had to make my own coffee!" Chad smiled. "Awww," he said teasingly. "But it's nice to know I'm missed. Want me to come by later and keep you company?" It was a rather strange conversation... as if they were two people who barely knew each other. "That would be nice," she replied. "So you still haven't put your stuff away yet?" "Just my pants," he replied. "As I said, I don't know where to put all the other stuff." "You've got drawers in those cardboard dressers," she reminded him. "Yeah, but they're full already." She didn't say it, but those drawers were all full of his girly and baby stuff. Obviously he wasn't interested in tossing them aside in favor of his old male clothes instead. "How about your closet?" she asked. "I'm sure you've still got some room in there. You used to keep your shirts all hung up as well as your pants." "I just haven't gotten to them yet," Chad replied. "I'll do it when I get home." She nodded and sipped at her coffee. "Want some help?" she asked. Her real motive was that she wanted an excuse to stay with him... to watch him. He shrugged. "If you want." Yes! She felt a bit relieved. And three cups of coffee and he still hadn't gone to the men's room. She herself was starting to feel the urge to pee. Coffee finished, they got up from their seats to each pay their bill. Chad had a moment of panic as he realized something was missing and quickly turned back to find his purse - before remembering he didn't have one. Dumb! Getting his wallet out of his back pocket to pay for his breakfast seemed to be a bit awkward for Chad - probably because his pants were too big. Neither of them bothered to speak all the way home. After she parked her car, she purposely delayed a moment so that he would lead and she would follow him up the stairs. Again she couldn't tell if he was wearing diapers under his pants or not, but now she suspected that he was. It was just hard to tell since his pants... all his clothes really, were so big on him. Why can't he just lose? That way he wouldn't have to worry about buying any new clothes. Instead of going to her apartment first, she waited with him while he opened his door and went inside. His barren apartment still looked barren despite the additional boxes now cluttering up his living room floor. She set her purse down and wandered around a few of the open boxes, just peering inside. All his stuff. All his stuff that she had boxed up and taken away from him because it was all masculine and she had denied him anything masculine - for a long time. It was all over now of course, unless he somehow lost this bet. "Let me move some stuff around in my closet," he said as he headed toward his bedroom. "I might as well organize it now." She followed him. His blow-up mattress on the floor wasn't made up. It was just a jumble of little girl sheets. He opened his closet and she stared into it from behind him. His old male pants seemed very much out of place amid all the feminine finery that now occupied most of the closet. Especially since they were right next to his beautiful sissy dresses. A big contrast! She felt the urge to pee again, but she ignored it. How about him? Did he have to pee yet? She had just watched him drink three cups of coffee. But he wasn't exactly acting very concerned about it... yet. She watched as Chad moved all his silly sissy dresses to the back of the closet, making a lot of room where he could put his shirts. "Want me to get some of your shirts for you?" she offered. "Sure," Chad replied as he continued to move some of his other clothes - female clothes, around. She went back to his living room and found a box with some of his shirts. Some of them were wrapped in plastic, some weren't. She grabbed an armful of ones that weren't wrapped and carried them into his bedroom. The effort of lifting them reminded her that she needed to pee. She ignored it again - for now. One at a time, Chad took the shirts from her and hung them up. Then they both went back to the living room for more. But on the way, Mel stopped in his bathroom to pee. She never got fully into it before she saw that his toilet was still totally sealed under all the plastic wrap she had put on it - so long ago now. He hadn't even unsealed it yet! Why? She reversed course and went back out. She would have to hold it for a little while longer. Chad, his back to her, was busy with one of the boxes. It looked like he didn't even notice that she had gone into his bathroom. One more trip with clothes to his closet, then Mel excused herself... she really did have to pee, and doing it in his apartment was definitely out. The problem was, she didn't want to leave and be parted from him. She wanted to stay with him as much as possible to see how he was doing. But she had no excuse... except... "Hey Chad," she said. "All these clothes have been boxed up for a long time. Maybe you should wash some of them before you try to wear them again." Chad looked at her. He hadn't thought of that but it did sound like a very good idea. "Would you mind?" he asked. "Not at all," she replied. "I need to get back to my place. Just come in when you're ready. You can use the washer all you want." "Thanks," he replied with a smile. She grabbed her purse and hurried out. She really did need to pee! And the one big thing on her mind... he didn't act like he needed to pee at all! He hadn't even unsealed his toilet! Was she winning? It was too soon to tell. Chad loaded his clothes into Mel's washer. As he did so, he reflected on the fact that the small easy task was certainly a lot easier to do this time without having to hold a baby bottle in his mouth. As he finished loading the batch of clothes, he glanced over at Mel. She was watching him again. She was on the couch with her laptop in her lap, but every time he had looked at her, she had been watching him instead of doing any work. He added some detergent, closed the machine, set the controls, and turned it on. He looked back towards Mel... and didn't see her. Where was she? Not that it really mattered. Having nothing better to do for a few minutes, he leaned back against the washer... and tried to think. What was he doing? The morning was mostly gone now and he hadn't even started to try to regain his control. Why? But the reason for not doing it was a very confusing issue to him just then, an issue that had somewhat been on his mind since he woke up that morning, but he subconsciously put off thinking about it or examining it. Getting dressed had given him a reason not to think about it. Going out for breakfast had been another chance to put it off. He had just put it off a few minutes longer by getting his laundry started. But now he had nothing to do for a while and he no longer had a reason not to think about it. What was he doing? Why had he not even tried to regain his control yet? Not... even... tried! But the nebulous strings of the reason were there, if he had the courage to grab them - and seriously look at them. And he wasn't sure if he might simply be afraid to look at what he knew could possibly be... the truth. Why can't you just lose? He had been haunted by that question since she had said it last night. It was the very thing that Andrea had suggested before too. But that wasn't really it. That wasn't a reason. His mind played back one of his most cherished memories, and oddly, one of his most recent. That night when they had lain in her bed and he had made love to her again. He had been blindfolded of course. Never once had he ever seen her naked body, nor should he. He was a sissy. He didn't deserve that privilege. But the thing was, there had been so much affection between them that night - affection that he felt coming from her as much as he tried to express how he felt about her. And that was really it in a nutshell. He had feelings for her. More than that, he worshiped her. They had been, not just thrown together, but locked together for two full months now. There was not a single day that they had been apart. And she had pushed his buttons! Oh, the things she had made him do! Terrible things! Amazing things! Incredible things! Humiliation beyond belief! And as bad as all the humiliation had been... as bad as the punishments he had endured as well... he had loved every single moment of it. Absolutely loved it! For two full months he had lived a dream that very few others could even conceive. And in that two months, he had done more than that, he had given himself over to her - completely - body and soul. He had allowed himself to surrender totally to her will. As amazing and unbelievable as that now sounded, he had done exactly that. And in return she had given him... pain... and torment... and horrible humiliation... and... and... Flashes of them making love in bed together played thorough his mind. And... and... It all started to fall in place for him. She had given him someone to love - her. She had given him... his dream... and then some. Everything and more than his wildest fantasies. Including... someone he could care about again. Why can't you just lose? Was it possible? Could it be? Did he dare hope? Did she... did she feel the same way about him as he did about her? It was nonsense! There was no way she could! He was a sissy! A stupid worthless sissy! He wasn't what she liked in a man! He certainly wasn't what she would need in a man! But... but was it possible that she... loved... him too? And that was the very root of why he couldn't move forward and regain his control. Confusion. Because if she did feel for him like he felt for her, then losing the bet would be the best thing he could ever do. Losing the bet would let them stay together... possibly... dare he think it... forever! And yet... He was a sissy. He wasn't what she liked in a man. He had seen that time and time again. She had practically rubbed his nose in it. And so... he remained... confused. And because of that confusion, he didn't know if he should... or maybe he simply couldn't - find the will - or the nerve, to put forth the little bit of effort it would take to regain all his control and win the bet. Did she love him? Or not? "Coffee?" Her abrupt appearance and question brought him back to reality. She was coming out of the kitchen with coffee cups in each hand. He smiled and took one. "Thanks." He took a big gulp and winced in pain as the very hot liquid burned his tongue. "Ouch! It's hot!" "It's supposed to be hot!" She replied. Then she smiled. "I've still got plenty of bottles of tea in the refrigerator if you'd rather have one of those." Chad shook his head. "No thanks. This will do just fine." Mel didn't really care - as long as he just drank something. Was she winning? She had no way of knowing at all. But not once yet had he even asked about the bathroom. Her hopes were starting to go up. But... it was awfully early yet to get too confident. She just wished she could know for sure what was going on with him - one way or another! She looked at the pile of laundry on the floor that was still waiting to be put into the washer. It looked like all shirts and a few pairs of pants. Not a lot of stuff. "What do you have in the washer now?" she asked, more for something to say than anything else. "Just a few shirts and t-shirts. Underwear. I figured I'd take care of those first." She nodded as she took another sip of her coffee. She desperately wanted to ask him about his control, but something was holding her back, and she wasn't sure what it was. All the time she had spent with him today had almost seemed... surreal - so different than their relationship in the past. And it was hard to figure out how to handle it... and not cross the imaginary line that marked the boundary between a normal friendship and a mistress - submissive relationship. "You know," she said after a few moments of more awkward silence, "you're welcome to spend all day right here if you want. I mean, you don't have any furniture at your place. Not much of anything else either." Chad thought about that for a moment. "Thanks," he replied. "If you don't mind, I just may." "Good," she said out loud, with more emphasis than she intended. With that problem solved, she went back to her laptop, where she still wasn't able to do any work. As soon as the first load of clothes had been removed from the dryer and he had gotten the next batch running, he took everything that had just come out of the dryer back to his apartment - without bothering to iron or even fold any of it. He figured he could do that later, after he left her apartment for the day. But his real reason for going back to his apartment as soon as he could, was to change his soaking wet diapers out for fresh ones. Mel watched the door the entire time he was gone. And she watched... and watched. How long did it take to carry a little laundry right next door and come back again? What could be taking him so long? There wasn't anything at his place to keep him there... except... The door finally opened and he came back inside. Was it her imagination, or was he walking a bit easier than when he had left. She hadn't bothered to really watch how he was walking when he went out. Of course he had been carrying a load of clothes so it would have been hard to tell. But she was betting that he had gone home to change his diaper! When lunchtime came, she offered to buy them lunch, or to fix it right there for him herself. But he offered to fix lunch for them instead. Besides, he now knew her kitchen far better than she did. She gratefully accepted. Lunch was nothing fancy. In fact, she hardly paid attention to what she ate. It simply seemed strange to sit across the table from him - as if he was a normal person. Which he was - and he wasn't. But for today, she would have to play the game and at least pretend he was. Awkward silence followed awkward silence. She finished her coffee before he did and got up from the table while he was still eating. She grabbed the coffee carafe and brought it back to the table, pouring fresh cups for both of them. Then she carried the carafe back to the coffee maker. She started to walk back to the table, but on a sudden mischievous whim, she went to the refrigerator instead and grabbed one of his baby bottles still in there. She set it down in front of him with a big grin as she sat back down at the table again. "Just in case that coffee is too hot," she explained. With a big smile, Chad went along with her little joke and picked the bottle up and drank from it. But he only drank a little before he set it back on the table and laughed. "It's nice to drink from a normal cup for a change," he told her. As if to prove it, he picked up his coffee cup and sipped at the hot liquid inside - carefully this time so as not to burn himself like he did earlier. Mel didn't care what he drank from... just so long as he kept drinking... at least occasionally. Was he regaining his control? To all outward appearances, it didn't look like it. But the one thing she realized that had her worried the most, was that he didn't look the least bit concerned about it either. He appeared - completely normal! Chad finished eating first. He waited politely and sipped his coffee until Mel had finished eating as well. "Excuse me," he said as he started to get up from the table. "I need to check the dryer." Before Mel knew what she was doing, she reached out across the table and set her hand on top of his. "Wait!" Halfway out of his seat, Chad stopped to see what she wanted. Mel actually felt embarrassed to ask, even though she didn't know why she should feel that way. "I... I have to know," she said, "have you... I mean, how... is it going? Have you regained anything yet?" Chad sat back down and stared at her for a moment before answering. Of course she would want to know. "To be honest," he replied. He hesitated a few moments trying to find the best way to answer. "I haven't tried yet." Mel sat straight up. "You haven't..." She was totally stunned. He hadn't even tried yet? "Why not?" Chad stood up again and shrugged. "I just haven't." He walked off quickly because it was something he didn't want to discuss with her. It had been hard enough trying to figure it out for himself... and he was still wrestling with the problem. Mel got up and followed after him. "Why not?" she asked again. "I just haven't," he replied with his back to her as he continued walking. "But today is the day! Your first day anyway. I thought you couldn't wait! I thought you were so sure that you could get it all back in just a few hours that you would have started trying from the moment you woke up! But you're not going to even try?" "I didn't say that!" Chad insisted as he reached the dryer and turned around. "I just haven't started to try... yet! And I still think I can get it all back in just a few hours. I just haven't tried... yet." "Why not?" Mel asked, the tone of her voice softening. Chad stared at her again for a moment. Was it possible? Was it possible at all that she felt for him what he felt for her? She seemed awfully sincere right now. Awfully caring. But he knew what he was, a sissy! That thought slammed into place before he had a chance to say anything more. And as a sissy, he was all wrong for her. He wasn't someone she could ever - love! He turned away from her and opened up the dryer. "I don't want to talk about it!" he insisted. He didn't want to talk about it? Frustrated and confused, Mel watched as he pulled the clothes out of the dryer and made sure they were all dry. Not knowing what to think, or do, she wandered back to the living room where she again picked up her laptop... and didn't even look at it. He hadn't even tried... yet. Was he purposely trying to lose for some reason? Why can't you just lose? She had asked that last night. She had thought it a thousand times ever since. Was he purposely trying to lose? It was the only answer she could think of. She watched as he purposely folded his clothes this time - unlike the first batch that he had carried straight to his apartment in a rumpled mess. Why can't you just lose? And he hadn't even tried... yet. A broad smile broke out on her face. One way or another, she was winning this bet. He was either too afraid to try, or he no longer really wanted to win, or... he really had tried and found it impossible. Either way, no matter how she looked at it, she was winning - and he was going to lose - big time! Her elation wasn't dampened one bit by the ringing of her phone. She gladly set her laptop aside and ran to answer it. "Hello?" "Hi Mel." "Derek!" she said, her voice still holding nothing but delight. From the laundry area, Chad heard how glad Mel was as she talked with Derek. Of course she'd be glad. Why wouldn't she. Derek was everything she could possibly want in a guy - and then some. While he was... a sissy. Did she feel anything for him? Why should she? But... was it possible? He still wanted to hope that she would. Despite everything he knew... he still wanted to hold onto that hope. "Derek... no!" Mel said firmly, but there was still more than a hint of gladness in her voice. "I'm not going out with you tonight... and not tomorrow either! Sissy... I mean Chad's final day of testing is tomorrow! I've got way too much on my mind right now." Derek was just glad that she had come to her senses again. And she did sound really glad to hear from him. That alone put his mind at ease. "Okay," he replied. "I understand. How is that going anyway? Does it look like you might win?" Mel was tempted to tell him the truth - that Chad hadn't even tried to hold back yet, but she decided that it might not be a good idea. "Let's just say that I'm still very hopeful. Very... hopeful." "So it's not over yet," Derek replied. "Not yet. And according to our judges, no matter what, they're going to decide it tomorrow for sure." "Then tell you what," Derek said, "I'll call you... after tomorrow!" Mel giggled just a bit. She was still elated over the fact that she was going to win the bet. "Sounds perfect!" she replied. A moment later, they had said goodbye and she set her phone aside. Chad had heard every word she had said, even though he never once looked up from his task of folding his clothes. The things that needed ironing he could do later. Anytime really. He wasn't the least bit concerned about it. On his mind instead was trying to figure out if Mel cared about him at all. Or was he just a fun toy for her to use and abuse. It's just that... there were times when she seemed as if she really did care... a lot! But her phone call with Derek just then had slammed home harder than ever what he had thought about a hundred times in the last hour alone. He was a sissy, and Derek was a man - a real man. And women didn't love sissies, they loved... men! But... sometimes, it really seemed as if she might. Mel barely sat back down again when her phone rang - again. "Oh geez!" she cursed softly as she hurried to answer it. "Hello?" "Hey girlfriend!" Gloria's voice replied. "How's it going?" "Gloria!" Mel practically sang. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable telling Derek the details, but Gloria was someone she could tell - anything! Besides, she was one of the judges! "It couldn't be going better!" she replied enthusiastically as she headed for the living room with the phone. "So he hasn't been able to hold back at all yet?" Gloria asked. "He hasn't even tried!" Mel said delightedly. "Mel..." Gloria replied sternly, "have you been trying to convince him to throw the bet?" Mel laughed. "That's just it... I didn't! But either way, he doesn't seem to be the least bit interested in winning anymore." "He may think differently tomorrow," Gloria replied, "when we test him! I have a feeling he'll try very hard indeed to win then." Suddenly concerned, Mel asked, "Why? What are you going to do?" "Never mind! We've got it all planned out. You'll find out tomorrow." Chad listened to Mel talking with Gloria - Mel's friend. He didn't have any friends. None! Not anymore. Derek used to be his friend, but he didn't really feel like Derek fell into that category anymore. No friends... no life. And if Mel didn't really care about him... didn't really love him... then he was alone and uncared about... uncared for. And if he purposely lost this bet, how could he have any friends with the kind of life he would be forced to live? It would be... impossible! No friends... no life! No friends... The decision he had been wrestling with all day was suddenly very clear to him. He had to win this bet now. He had to! No matter how attractive the alternative was, he was still human. Still a person. And people, no matter who they were, needed certain things. Friends - people to talk to and rely on. People you care about and who in return, cared about you. Which in turn would give him a much more fulfilling life. A life where he would be responsible for things... or others... or both. Things that ultimately brought at least some measure of self-respect. Self-respect, friends, and a life! Why had he forgotten? Why had he ignored the very things that he had held onto for so long? Quickly jumbling the rest of his laundry together, he picked the entire batch up in his arms. He almost walked out the door, but politeness... or something... stopped him. Carrying his load of clothes, he walked into the living room where Mel was still talking animatedly with Gloria. He didn't bother to catch her attention or even wait for her to acknowledge him. "I'm leaving!" he said coldly. He would have added for the rest of the day, but he turned instead and headed directly for the door. "Wait a minute Gloria," Mel said into her phone. "You're leaving?" she asked. He didn't reply. There was something about his manner and attitude that bothered her. "Are you coming back?" she called after him, only to get no reply again. She was already getting to her feet as he managed to open the door despite all the clothes in his arms. "Are you coming back?" she asked again... rather desperately this time as she headed for the door as well. But before she could get there, her own door closed in her face. The phone in her hands forgotten, she hurried to open it. "Chad!" she called as she ran out. He was almost to his apartment. He couldn't get his keys out of his pocket with all the clothes in his arms. "Wait!" she called as she hurried to him. Chad dropped all his clean clothes, not even trying to worry about if they got dirty or not. Ignoring Mel completely, he fished his keys out of his pocket. "Wait," Mel said again as she ran up to him. "What's wrong?" Not knowing if he was angry with her... but knowing he was more angry with himself, Chad ignored her totally. He opened his door, and put his keys back in his pocket. "What's wrong?" Mel insisted. Chad picked up his clothes, and turned to her. He looked at her for a moment, before turning and carrying his stuff into his apartment... and kicking his door closed before she could enter. Stunned, Mel stared at the closed door in front of her. And that look he had just given her! What was going on all of a sudden? She pounded on his door with her fist. "Chad! What's wrong? What's going on?" But her pleas fell on deaf ears. She got no reply at all for her efforts. She was still staring at his door in stunned silence when she heard the tiny sound of Gloria coming from her phone. "Mel! Are you there? Mel? Mel?" In a fog, she raised the phone back to her ear as she finally turned away from his door. "I'm here," she said softly. "What happened?" "I don't know. He just walked out." Chad sat in his solitary chair in stony silence. He had dropped all his laundry in a pile on the floor the minute he had closed the door - and then had listened as Mel had pounded on his door and called him - again and again. He knew what he had just done... the way he had just behaved, wasn't right. But just then, he didn't care. It was the only way he could react just then. And he was currently berating himself for not only not bothering to try to get his control back, he was now feeling guilty over the way he had just treated Mel. But right now... tough! He had put it off long enough... too long! He should have started the minute he woke up this morning - or maybe even last night... or a week ago. But what did it matter, he still knew he could get it all back quickly. In just a few hours - hopefully. He had wasted way too much of the day. But starting right now... he would get it all back. Starting right... now! Just as soon as he ever realized when it was that he had to pee again. As he sat there, feeling nothing, he realized that what he was currently feeling just then was his real problem. He was feeling - nothing. And his body had grown so used to pushing all the time that he no longer knew what to do to make it hold back instead. He didn't even remember how any other way than pushing was supposed to feel. And in the meantime, he wasn't feeling - anything. He didn't even know if he was peeing or not. Mel sat huddled up in her chair and stared at... nothing. Her eyes seemed to constantly roam around the room, but she was seeing - nothing. What was he doing over there? What had gone wrong? Why had he suddenly seemed so angry? What had she done? No answers. He had totally ignored her when she had pounded on his door and called him. No reply. No answers. Hour after hour, she sat in stunned silence. Not knowing what to do. Just waiting - for word - from him. He sat there for a long time, trying to feel something, but all he felt, was frustrated. Finally figuring he needed more liquid in his system to make him pee - just so he could learn to feel it again, he grabbed a baby bottle of her tea out of his refrigerator and carried it back to his chair where he drank it - and tried to feel - something. But feeling nothing isn't feeling something. Finally, he got up and walked around, hoping it would help. Since he was concentrating on his diapered area so intently, he became more aware then ever of the things that now occupied the pockets of his too-large pants. Heavy things. Bulky things, uncomfortable things. He pulled everything out... his keys, his wallet, his cell phone, some change from buying breakfast, a handkerchief, his old pocket comb... and he searched for some place to put them all down. And the first place he could think to put them - was back in his red purse again. If there was one good thing he had to say about purses, they could be handy at times. With that done, he looked at all the laundry he had simply dumped on the floor - in a major mess. He started to sort through it all to figure out what he wanted to do with it, and gave up. He wandered into his bedroom and turned on his pink clock radio to listen to some music. It was nice, for a little while. He soon turned it off again because it became - distracting - and he wasn't in the mood. A chance trip past his bathroom made him glance inside. And for the first time in a long while he noticed his toilet, still wrapped up in all her plastic wrap. Purposely, he went in and started removing it - quickly uncovering the tape she had put across the top with the date she had sealed it - two months earlier. The tape came off. The plastic all came off. And his toilet was useful again - well, almost. He had to flush it a few times to get the water level back. He also had to clean it thoroughly because it smelled - despite not being used. And through it all, not once did he know if he was peeing or not. He grabbed another baby bottle so he could keep trying. Mel tried to pull herself out of her funk. She got up and poured herself another cup of coffee - and carried it right back to the same chair she had been sitting in for so long already. But the coffee did help - sort of. What had suddenly gone wrong? Knowing it was probably useless, she picked up her phone and called him. And listened to it ringing. Chad heard his phone ring. Who would be calling him? Mel of course. The only person who ever called him anymore. He had behaved badly with her earlier. But he still didn't care... much. Still, he supposed she deserved at least some kind of explanation - or apology. Not that he was too sure of the explanation himself. He had to fish his phone out of his purse again before he could answer it, but by then it had stopped ringing. Should he call her back? He wasn't sure. Mel hung up, totally frustrated again. Why wouldn't he answer? Why wouldn't he talk to her? The lunk! The dumb sissy lunk! What was wrong with him? The phone in her hand rang and she almost dropped it in surprise. "Hello?" she said desperately. "Mel?" "Chad! What's wrong? What did I do? I'm sorry, whatever it was." "That's just it," Chad replied. "You didn't do anything. I'm sorry about the way I behaved. It's not your fault." "So what went wrong?" Mel insisted. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with. I'm just mad... at myself." "Why?" "For not even trying to get my control back. For thinking really stupid things." "Like what? What was so stupid?" "Never mind. Personal things. I forgot about some... personal things that I shouldn't have forgotten about. And I got mad, that's all." "Why don't you come back and we'll discuss it," she suggested. "No. I need to stay here tonight." "Well how about dinner? You can at least come over for dinner. Or we can go out! I'll buy!" "No. I need to be by myself. I'll either get something... or I won't bother with dinner." "Not bother? Chad... get a grip! Is it something I can help with?" Chad nearly laughed. "No. Like I said, I need to be alone tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." "Tomorrow is your last day... and the testing. Everything will be all over tomorrow." "I know." "The ladies... they're coming at one o'clock." "I know." "Are you sure you don't want to spend the evening here... with me?" Chad thought about it for a moment. In many ways, he really would. "No, not tonight. Tonight... I need to be... alone." "But.." "Mel... I'll see you tomorrow." Sadly, she replied. "Tomorrow then." And before he could hang up she added, "Call me early! Call me anytime! For anything!" "Yeah. Thanks," Chad replied sadly. "Bye Mel." He hung up the phone and put it back in his purse. He grabbed another baby bottle and carried it back to his chair - to try to feel when he had to pee again - and to think. The evening started to descend. Shadows filled his apartment, but he didn't bother to get up and turn on a light. "Why can't you just lose?" she had said. Ha! What did she have to worry about if she lost? A little bit of money to buy him some furniture? And he now suspected that she had more money than she let on, so she could well afford to buy him whatever he wanted. But if he lost, he would lose... his life! By the time he was done serving her for another year, he would have no self-respect at all, no friends, and consequently - no life! And very little chance to ever have any of them again. Why can't he just lose? This was his life they were talking about! Not a dream! All dreams must come to an end... because if there was nothing but dreams, there would be no life. And this dream had now come to its end. The dream - was over. Mel turned on the lamp as the evening shadows fell, but still she didn't move from her chair. What had gone wrong to make him suddenly change his mind and want to win so badly? She simply had no idea. Earlier, he hadn't even wanted to try to regain his control. She thought he had purposely wanted to lose. But now? The thought came once again to her mind, "Why can't he just lose?" As she saw it, if he lost, he would