Decidedly Feminine free porn video

Decidedly Feminine By Angie Renee Rineheart My story begins with a little bit of history. As far back as I can recall, mom always told me I was a beautiful little boy and my eyes and eyelashes should be on a little girl. My sister, who was the only girl in the family among four boys constantly, teased me about it. I complained to my parents, but secretly liked it, but do not recall acting on my desire to dress as a girl until starting puberty. Ironically, I wore my sister's pantyhose as an intro to this wonderful world of orgasms. (First orgasm ever was summer time while modeling my sister's one piece bathing suit behind a locked bathroom door). The truth was, mom and sis were very outspoken about wanting another girl. They never said it outright, but were clearly disappointed that I was not born a girl. That may have been one of the reasons why I enjoyed it so much. A child always wants to please mom. (Pleasing dad is another story for another day, but he left the family early in my life and mom never re-married). Ever since the age of 12, I have been obsessed with anything feminine. My cross dressing escalated dramatically once I was able to learn the art of makeup and by the time I moved out, I had a virtual life as a woman online with my own website. All of this was completely hidden from friends and family, although there were a few close calls when someone would come home before I expected them. But as the years went by and my desires increased, I knew that I wanted my own collection of clothing and would eventually have to find a place to store it. I moved out at age eighteen and eventually rented a home in the older part of town and lived alone. It did not take long before the entire attic stuffed with an amazing wardrobe of finer women's clothes. I was particularly fond of prom dresses, bridal gowns, and lingerie that included several corsets. For me, it became inevitable that wearing a bridal gown would get me fantasizing about becoming a bride for real. Those thoughts escalated to being with a man, but I never really considered myself homosexual, so I suppressed that piece of me and continued dating women. Most of my friends were women. I enjoyed their company and conversation and had a few girlfriends, but it seemed that the relationships ended up less on the romantic side and more on the "Friends" side. I had been asked more than once if I were gay which lead to some embarrassment. Most of my purchases were done online discreetly, but I found that it was exciting for me to shop in stores. I was surprised to find that most of the women I asked about trying on clothing did not mind and in some cases, were more than happy to treat me like any customer shopping for dresses. My purchasing picked up pace by chance, (or was it fate), when I called a Bridal Salon to inquire about a pretty pink dress that caught my eye while shopping online. It was clearance priced at $30. The salesperson that picked up was very professional. She confirmed that they had the size I requested in stock, and asked if I wanted to come in to the store and pick it up. I hesitated, but then decided I would share with her that it was for me. She kept her professionalism, and became incredibly warm. Before long, we were talking like two women discussing what kind of wardrobe we fancy. It was as if she brought over a warm blanket of friendship and wrapped it around me. She made me feel comfortable in my "female" skin. Her name was Claudia. We became fast friends, and she naturally became my Bridal, Prom, dinner party, whatever consultant. Her daughter Jesse was a makeover artist. No, this was not a meeting by chance.........I believe it was fate. The year was 2010. I decided to start using the elliptical machine at the gym and take Yoga classes because I was determined to fit into a size 12 dress. I am 6" 1" and generally wear a 14 to 16 because of my male-like shoulders. It poses a problem because I am about a size 8 everywhere else. Anyway, I digress. The past few years, I have been receiving many compliments about my beauty from male admirers. It is exciting to read what they have to say. Many offer to take me out on a date; others offered matrimony....especially those that are frequent visitors to my Bridal gown picture folder. Initially, I found the thought of being with a man sexually to be repulsive. After all, it was women that I revered most. I never considered myself homosexual or even bisexual. But as time passed and the compliments kept coming and I was enjoying it so very much. I could not help but wonder what it would be like to be with a man on a date.....so I started flirting back. Some got very intense and it eventually got to the point where the question was asked about a face to face meeting. But I could not gather enough courage to even go out in public let alone meet someone as Angie! So this virtual life as a woman went on for about two years. Flirting as a woman was a real rush for me and I found myself doing it on a regular basis. I even masturbated over fantasizing about being on a date with a man....having my chair pulled out for me, gently being escorted to our seats at a ballet with his hand leading me by the small of my back. It was clear that my obsession was escalating, and I was becoming very accepting about my desire to be with a man sexually but only as a woman. I eventually got the courage to purchase dildos of various sizes until settling on one that was a perfect duplicate of a real penis with veins. I read quite a bit about anal sex and became very curious about agitating my prostate gland. It took time, but playing with my "toy" became a regular thing with me while dressed and especially while flirting with men online. I became frustrated because no matter how much I road my dildo, I always climaxed through my penis and not from my prostate. I had several chats online with tgirls that actually experience the warmth of an orgasm through prostate agitation. They described it as "waves" of orgasms. Each one of these girls told me that it was important to hold back the "natural" male need to orgasm through the penis. They all encouraged me to practice and be patient and eventually I would be rewarded. Well, the tgirls were right. I eventually got to the point where I had no interest in penetration as a man. I wanted to be penetrated and orgasm more like a woman, then a man. The waves experienced the first time it happened was an amazing reward indeed. I had reached a point of only masturbating while en femme. I purchased a male sex doll and rode him until I was raw while watching myself in the mirror. Even though I experienced immense pleasure, I had to admit that Angie longed for interaction with a real man. Whether I liked it or not, Angie was taking up permanent residence in my mind. By 2012 I was wearing a size 12 dress. My male clothing was starting to hang off of me. I received comments from friends that ranged from, "Have you lost weight?", to "Are you getting sick?" Luckily, as far as female clothing, I had no such issues. My BFF Claudia was close with the seamstress at her salon and would take dresses in for me at a fraction of the regular cost. With Claudia and Jesse's assistance and encouragement, I had learned to make myself small by pulling my shoulders back and relaxing. I was regularly meditating to feminine recordings of positive affirmations raising my feminine consciousness and developing a feminine mindset......... that I was indeed a woman on the inside. This of course lead to continued escalation which made me ache to live as a woman full time. With this Mom and daughter duo encouraging me, I even grew my hair out. They showed me how to style it in a feminine way, and go right back to being a boy. WHAT WAS I DOING? But reality always settled me.....or did it? After all, I needed to support myself. All of this was just a fantasy. I had a good job and needed to focus on making a living. But the reality of my life was that I was transforming myself....day by day.....week by week.....as I continued to take Yoga classes, pluck my eyebrows, shave my body hair....and lose inches,,,,as I stared at myself in the mirror....I was allowing myself to become more feminine with each passing day. After many days of providing support and hours of making me over and helping me transform into Angie, and taking pictures for my website, Claudia and Jesse were constantly reminding me that I was so pretty as Angie, I should just start living as a girl. I would always graciously accept the compliments and then ask who was going to pay the bills? Then, in harmony, they would always answer. "Well your husband of course, GIRL!" We would always laugh......... Little did I know, all of this obsessing was actually preparing me for a thrill ride that I never wanted to return from........while out of town. I will never forget the feeling that came over me the first time I heard his voice. I was attending a company meeting out of town in San Diego, CA. We had just been excused for a fifteen minute break. I noticed a tall man looking me up and down. He must have been about 6"5" and well over 200 lbs. I looked over and met his glance and nodded like a guy would nod to any guy. He looked familiar. (I figured I must have met him at a prior meeting and just forgot his name) He walked over to me, smiled and was the first to speak. "I think you and I have a common friend." "Oh really? Who might that be?" I sipped on my coffee. "Well, she is a friend I met on the internet." "Okay, soooooo um, and you are?" I extended my hand "Oh, sorry about that. We met briefly at last years meeting. My name is Ken. I am a regional manager from Florida." His large hands dwarfed mine and made me feel frail. "Oh, Ken! So sorry. I remember now. "Brian, from Phoenix, Arizona. Good to see you agin" We shook hands and he grabbed my hand with both of his pulling me near him like a long lost friend. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Funny, Brian, but my internet friend is from Phoenix too." I pulled back and gave him a confused look. "Does the name Angie Rineheart sound familiar to you......Brian?" I could feel my face fill up with blood and became very warm. My heart started pounding. This guy knew my alter ego! I desperately tried to play it off. I looked at him and calmly said. "Well Ken. You obviously think I know this Angie woman. Where is she from?" "Well Brian," It felt as if he was now mocking me. "Like I told you, she lives where you live. Phoenix, Arizona. She could be your sister. As a matter of fact, she has your exact eye shape and color and her smile is eerily similar to yours." He was smiling broadly and kind of scaring me. I started wishing I never dropped 20 pounds. This guy could pick me up and throw me across the room if he wanted. I felt myself getting scared. "Look, Ken. I do not know what you are up to, but I am...." "Whoa Brian! Calm down. I am so sorry if I came across like a jerk. I am generally very courteous around a woman." He smiled again but it was not a pretentious smile. This time I saw kindness in his eyes. We were being called back into the meeting. (Did he just refer to me as female?). I started to walk away and he grabbed my elbow. "Can we discuss this over drinks tonight? It is very clear to me that your eyebrows have thinned." My heart started pounding again. My lower region began to react inside my hidden satin panties. "Okay." I found myself saying. "But not at the hotel bar. Meet me at Harry O's on 5th. It is within walking distance." I could not focus on the meeting. For the next two hours, I tried to run through my mind the number of admirers I had "chats" with on many subjects, generally having ended in mutual online masturbation. The fact was, there were too many to count. Naturally I wondered if Ken was one of those guys. Did he send me his picture? MY GAWD!! Did I have online sex with this man? I started to remember his cologne smell and my lower region stirred again. WHAT WAS I DOING? The meeting was dismissed for the evening. I headed to the back door of the meeting room and was cut off by Ken. "I am really sorry if I scared you. It was not my intention to intimidate you." I could barely look him in the eyes. "It's okay. I am sure this is all a big misunderstanding." He reached into his coat pocket. "Can I show you something?" I just looked at him blankly. "I guess so," I acted disinterested. He pulled out his wallet and started to show me pictures as if he was going to show me photos of his wife and children. But within the windows of the plastic photo holders were pictures that were all too familiar to me. They were pictures of me as my alter ego Angie! "UM......" he started to stutter. "I UM...I think I have feelings for this girl." He looked right through me and started to well up. "Can we please just have a conversation face to face about Angie Rineheart?" I was no longer afraid. I felt compassion. This man was not out to humiliate me......I think? "Okay, I will meet you at 6:00. Harry O's." He seemed satisfied, smiled and nodded. As I walked upstairs to my room, I could feel my heart racing. I thought about what lied ahead. I always wore a Chiffon bridal peignoir and nightgown set to bed. It was in my suitcase. I wondered if Ken would see it tonight. It was 5:15 so I had time to get ready....get ready? FOR WHAT? I decided to take a perfumed bath. If one were to look at the contents of my suitcase, one might assume it belonged to a woman. Perfume, bath salts, hand and body lotion, manicure set, pedicure set.....I had everything with me to become a living doll for the evening with the exception of female clothing. The bath was ready. The water was hot and full of bubbles. It smelled like a heavenly female creature. Should I wear perfume tonight? I slipped in to the tub and without even thinking started shaving my legs. I always kept my entire body smooth, but loved the process of shaving. I could see some pink residue on my toenails from the last time I dressed and decided I would repaint them tonight. I lowered my head into the hot water. If I had packed a dress, would I have worn it tonight? OMG, the thought of being in public as a woman got my head spinning! I looked down at my shaved smooth penis. It was erect. I started to stroke it as I fantasized about exiting my hotel room as a full-on woman. It did not take long for me to orgasm. I closed my eyes and basked in the warmth of the bubbles and seamen. After a few minutes, I stood up, showered the sticky stuff off, and stared at my naked self in the mirror as I toweled off. I posed and smiled at my reflection. I walked towards the mirror. At that moment I decided to do something I never thought I would have the courage to do. I got dressed....in my man clothes, brushed my teeth, and applied mascara and lip gloss. I thought, what's the harm? No one...well maybe SOMEONE MIGHT notice. My hands shook as I fumbled for the phone. Claudia needed to be informed of what had transpired over the last few hours! I cussed at myself for not calling her earlier. After all, she was my confidant on EVERY move I made! Halfway through her "Hello", I started babbling.....making no sense. "Okay, calm down. Take a deeeeep breath girlfriend. Now slowly tell me what is going on." Claudia had a way about her to get me breathing evenly and not hyperventilate. She would always say, "Girl, calm down or you or gonna combust!" After my initial outburst, I took a deep breath and slowly told her about Ken. She did not interrupt this time. "Are you listening Angie girl?" "Yes" "Are you sitting down Chrissy?" She jokingly referred to me as Chrissy Snow from the Threes Company sitcom when I started to act like a BIMBO. "I am listening." "Do you feel like a woman?' "Usually." "Do you want to be a woman?" "Well I think you know the answer to that, Claudia!" "Well then why don't you start living your life the way you want to live?" Claudia was sounding a bit cross. It was not what I was used to hearing from this loving, caring friend that I had grown to love and trust like a sister. As I listened, I started to realize that although cross, were filled with something I needed to hear. I started crying and thanked her. We talked a little while longer and exchanged "I love you's" The last thing she said before hanging up was, "Angie, I know that you know you are a beautiful woman." I smiled and looked in the mirror. My lips were shiny, eyelashes long and thick. I looked cute. "Thank you girlfriend", I replied. The bar I agreed to meet Ken at was crowded. We locked eyes as soon as I walked in. He was already at a table for two. My heart was pounding. He stood up smiling broadly as I approached and pulled out my chair. "Why are you doing that?" "I am so sorry......just old habits I guess." "Well I am NOT a woman, Ken!" I looked around paranoid that someone would notice. Ken looked at the ground looking like a little boy that was just told "no' by his mother. "Brian, the last thing on my mind right now is to embarrass you. My Gosh, I was just a little over enthusiastic. I have been waiting for today for quite a few months and I feel as if I have already blown it." He looked down and put his head in his hands. Feeling bad for the way I snapped at him, I spoke. "Ken?" I waited for him to look up. Something inside me wanted him to look into my eyes and notice my mascara and lip gloss. I waited. He looked up, and did a double take. I believe he noticed the shine on my lips. I smiled and said "I will have a top shelf margarita, please." He gave me a big smile, turned his head as the cocktail waitress stopped by our table as if on cue. "The lady......I mean....um two top shelf margaritas please." After an uncomfortable silence, I started to ask him about his region and if he enjoyed living in Florida. The drinks were delivered. The waitress clearly saw who the dominant male was and quickly made a move to flirt with Ken. He would have none of it. His interest was rooted in minding my needs. I felt a little self conscious having a man pay such close attention to me. I drank my margarita and quickly ordered another. "Brian, I would like to have a conversation about Angie now. Is that okay with you?" I was feeling the affects of the tequila and my heart started to pound again. "Yes. I guess that would be alright." "A few months ago, I started an online conversation with a very attractive girl. She appeared to be more feminine in her appearance than any other woman I had ever known, or seen." I looked down at my drink and started stirring it with my straw. "There was something about her that appealed to me, but not to just my eyes. I saw something in this woman's eyes that affected my heart." I stopped stirring and looked up at him. He was gripping his cocktail with both hands and staring at me. "Are you wearing lipstick and mascara?" "It's actually lip GLOSS and mascara....and yes I am." "It is very pretty. May I call you Angie?" I hesitated because this was a moment when the elephant in the room was about to be spoken. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, opened them, looked around the room, and looked into Ken's eyes. My heart was racing..."Yes, you may, but this must remain our secret, okay?" "Yes by all means!" He sat up in his seat. "I have already botched this meeting, so I would not want to make you feel uncomfortable." He smiled a warm smile that was telling me that I was beautiful. Then he spoke again. "Angie, you are such an amazingly lovely woman....." "Wait Ken. I am not a woman!" "Okay, you are right. You were not born a woman. I agree. But are there moments in your life when you feel as if you are a woman inside and out?" "Well, yes of course I do. It has become a regular part of my life. It is almost as if a picture of Brian has begun to fade away and a picture of Angie is getting clearer." "Well, it is funny that you should say that, because you have shared that with me in written emails before, but not in the exact same words. The things that you unveiled to me convinced me that you were more a woman than a man and you have traveled past the halfway point some time ago." I knew it! He was one of many admirers that I poured my heart out to about my desire to live as the other gender. "So when did you put it together that I was Angie?" "It was your eyes, Angie. When I met you at last years meeting, you were wearing a blue dress shirt. As we were chatting, your eyes came alive. They were sparkling, almost dancing as you spoke and laughed. I became concerned. Was I attracted to another man? But you looked so familiar to me and I had already started looking at Tgirl websites. The Tgirls, I reasoned, made such an effort to become female, that it seemed only natural to be attracted to them. That is when I came by your website. I recognized the eyes right away. There was an "ease" in your transition from male to female. It was as if you could easily fall into the female role, especially watching your videos." My mind went to the dancing videos Claudia, Jesse and I made that I posted of the girls teaching me the subtle nuances of moving, dancing, and behaving like a woman. They always said that I was a natural. Ken continued. "I studied your company profile and downloaded pictures of both you and Angie. If it were not for your eyes, I would never have suspected. When I laid them sided by side though, you looked as if you could be brother and sister. That is when I contacted you to find out how serious you were about becoming Angie. It became borderline obsessive. I attended your online training programs you did for our company just so I could watch you in male mode. The patterns of your behavior even as a male had changed ever so slightly over time. Angie, whether you want to believe it or not, your behavior, even in male mode has changed significantly to a more feminine persona. In my opinion, you are more woman then man." I felt my face fill up with blood. "Whoa...wait a second! I am on video as Brian, behaving like Angie?" "No no no! I said SUBTLE. Remember, I was LOOKING for the changes. However, you need to be aware that the changes occurring in you have begun to cross the "subtle" line. So I reasoned that I needed to contact you to let you know that the people you come in contact every day, you know, the ones that know you as "Brian", will not be able to help but notice the changes and just might ask you about them. Angie, I believe that the transition began a while ago and there is no getting off this train! Although, I must admit, as I did earlier, I have my own selfish reasons for wanting to confront you. There is no question in my mind that I feel something for you and I want to explore what it is." I started to recall some of my closest friends at work were joking one day that I should change my name to Brianna because of the physical changes they noticed and when I mentioned that I enrolled in a Yoga class, they jumped all over that. I reasoned that they were just joking and it would pass. The reality as I thought it through was the thing I feared most was happening. My virtual world as a woman was no longer virtual. I guess my fear really centered more on acceptance more than people finding out. I started thinking about Claudia, Jesse, and all of the wonderful friends that had entered my life since sharing Angie with them. They never had any hesitation about accepting me as a woman. What a thoughtful, patient person Claudia was. She knew where I was going, but allowed me to grow into a beautiful woman, never pushing me. Little by little, she was helping me grow into someone that she could see already. I started to well up and Ken took notice. "Angie." Ken put his hand on my shoulder. "What is it?" "I miss my friend. I looked up at him and started laughing through the tears. "I think I need a makeover!" We both started laughing. I was feeling the tequila. "Can I walk you back to your room, Angie?" I do not drink very often. I like a good margarita and will occasionally partake in a nice merlot or cabernet. When I have a drink that numbers beyond one, I get a bit light headed and "happy." I have begun to notice that when this occurs, my personality goes way to the "Angie" side of me. At this point of the evening, I was feeling happy. I had to be careful but there was an odd feeling of comfort in Ken knowing my secret. It was nothing like I imagined. I always figured there would be a lot of shame when I was exposed. This was nothing like that at all. I felt kind of free! I nodded my head at Ken indicating that I would enjoy walking with him back to my room. I did my best to maintain a masculine persona on the walk back, but I could feel myself getting smaller. I was batting my eyelashes and swinging my hips....it felt a little silly doing this dressed as a man, but it was dark out and my movements were subtle. The chatter on the way back to the hotel was nice. Ken wanted to know my music tastes, hobbies....etc. As I was answering his questions, it occurred to me that I had this discussion with him already during an online chat. "You know this stuff about me already don't you?" "Well, yes I do, but I wanted to hear you tell me from your shiny lips rather than an online chat. We stopped walking and I looked up at this man that was at least three inches taller than me. He smiled and for a moment, I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me. I looked away realizing that if anyone saw that moment between us, we would both have lots of questions within our company that neither one of us were prepared to answer. I kept walking and muttered something about enjoying his company too. We got into the elevator and Ken asked what floor? "I am on 14, and you?" "12." He pressed 14, looked at me and smiled. My heart started beating rapidly. I was not ready for physical contact! Where is Claudia when I needed her? I could hear her in my mind. "A lady always keeps her composure." I turned to Ken, looked him square in his big blue eyes, and said, "Ken, I will not allow you to enter my room." He appeared disappointed. "I understand. Can I walk you to your room?" I nodded and blushed. The rest of the ride was quiet. As we walked to the room, I could not help but think about a fantasy I thought about often......the goodnight kiss after a prom date. Of course, in my fantasy, I was wearing the cutest pink prom dress, and high heels......I did not want my first kiss with a man to be in "man - mode!" I started to put my key in the door and he put his hand on mine. "Can I ask you for just one little favor?" "Hmmmmm, well that depends...." This was the first time I used my female voice in public. It made him grin from ear to ear. "WOW, that is convincing!" "Thank you".....against my better judgment, I batted my eyes. "What is it, Ken?" "Actually, I was going to ask you if you could say goodnight in your female voice?....." I opened the door to my room being careful not to let him in, turned and peeked out the opening and in my "breathiest, most "female" voice said, "Goodnight Ken."....and blew him a kiss. I closed the door and my eyes. I felt a NEED to get into my nightgown and climb under the blankets, but was curious to see if I could find any history of my online chats with Ken. My laptop was already open and ready for action, so I logged in to my website to see if there were any new comments. Right away, there was a private comment from Ken. Dearest Angie, If I am never to see you again, my wildest fantasies of you have already been surpassed. Your eyes alone have me head over heels in love with you. I wanted to kiss you tonight, but I understand that the timing was not right for you. Please consider an idea I have been contemplating since our company scheduled this meeting in San Diego. My hope is that you will allow me to see you again tomorrow, but not just a goodbye after the meeting is adjourned, but as a man and woman in one another's company for the weekend. I have already scheduled to extend my stay for the weekend at our hotel, and would be honored by the presence of a lovely woman I know named Angie. If you are concerned about attire, don't be. I know you are fond of the dresses at Bettie Page Dress Shop on 5th. It would be great fun to take you shopping there tomorrow afternoon and purchase whatever you need for the weekend. There is also a salon two doors down from the shop so if you are up for it, I would love to treat you to a makeover, manicure and pedicure. Please do not answer right away. Lay your lovely head on your pillow tonight and sleep on it. I will wait for your answer tomorrow. Here is my cell number. If possible, please text or call me with your answer. Love, Ken My first thought was .....YES! I WOULD LOVE THAT!!! Once again, heart pounding....I do not even remember getting into my nightgown. Was this too much too fast for me?....or was it perfect timing? I needed to speak to Claudia. "He wants to spend the weekend with Angie, buy me clothes, and pay for a makeover." "Okay, so how does that make you feel?" "Ummmm.....warm, wanted, sought after......wonderful!" "Mmmmm, do you have plans for the weekend? "No." There was a pause. I knew she was going to speak so I let it happen." Okay Angie, let's step back for a moment and take a look at what we have in front of us and consider some things beyond this weekend." Claudia knew me well and was giving me what a true friend always gives.....a logical perspective. "So have you thought about what kind of a commitment you are opening yourself up to with Ken? Are you willing to accept that and all that comes with it?" "That's what I was thinking. I love you girl friend." "Right back atcha gorgeous." I really did love Claudia. As a man, I could not help but have intimate thoughts about her often. There were times I thought her to be my soul mate and felt like we were meant to be together, but eventually grew to realize it would never happen. I could not provide for her as a man 100 percent of the time what she really deserved. She was everything I loved in a woman. Sexy, thoughtful, paid attention to the details of being a woman with the way she carried herself no matter the circumstance.....something to aspire to. Tomorrow was Friday and getaway day, so the company meeting was to start at 7:30 am. Most of us had early flights, so most attendees needed to leave by no later than noon. I tossed and turned all night knowing that I could not accept Ken's invitation. But I DID ache for a "taste" of what it would be like. So I decided to text him at 4:45 am. Ken, it is Angie. R U awake? Yes, I can't sleep. What's up? I want to feel what it is like to be in the arms of a man, but can't commit to your invitation for an entire weekend. I understand. What do you need from me? Can you come by my room in an hour? Oh, Angie....of course! WHAT WAS I DOING? Within an hour, I was in full makeup, SANS wig and relishing my smooth skin in my nightgown....looking ravishing and smelling like a complete and total woman. He was not late. He knocked softly at my hotel room door. I cracked open the door and peeked out. I was staring right into his chest.....a wall of a man. He was smiling ear to ear and anxious to come in. I let him in. He looked me up and down still grinning. "Angie, you are absolutely ravishing." I blushed, my heart beating wildly. Was I going to enjoy a man's touch, or be completely put off? His large hands slowly made there way around my waist. NICE so far I thought. He pulled me close. I looked up into his eyes. I could feel his hands exploring my waist. He made his way up and down the small of my back. "May I kiss you, Angie?" I felt so tiny in his arms. All I could get out was a breathy....."Yes Ken, kiss me." His lips gently brushed mine and I could feel him inhale my scent. My groin was reacting in a positive way. I felt myself melting into his arms as our lips touched and pressed closer. We had a gentle kiss. He pulled back slightly and looked down at me. "How was that?" He asked. I smiled, closed my eyes and tilted my head back inviting more. We instinctively opened our mouths and shared tongues. I knew it was right for me. I was most certainly enjoying this. It did not feel like a "gay" experience, rather a man and woman locked in a romantic interlude. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his neck. Instinctively, my leg went up bent at the knee just like in the movies. I moaned and realized that I was having an orgasm. I could feel his stiff cock rubbing against my stomach. I was feeling my inner woman. "Oh Angie...you are so very much a woman." I loved hearing that. I was feeling every inch a woman and relishing playing that role. It felt natural. Somehow, the acceptance of a man made me feel legitimate as a woman. His lips made their way to my perfumed neck. He started kissing and nuzzling my neck. I moaned again. OH MY.....I was feeling like how Claudia often described me...a HOT MESS! I moaned again in a feminine purr. "Oh Ken." I purred in my best female voice, "I am so much enjoying this. You make me feel as if I am a complete woman." I knew that I disappointed him by declining his weekend invitation. I wanted to somehow make it up to him. My painted nails made their way to his stiff cock. I stroked it against his pants. It felt like a thick, stuffed sausage. He moaned. I grabbed his belt buckle with the other hand and started to undo his pants. WHAT IN THE HELL WAS I DOING? Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what I was doing. I was in "HOT MESS MODE" and there would be no turning back! I unzipped his fly. His pants fell to the floor. I fell to my knees, both hands on his boxer brief waistband. Down went the briefs and out popped his magnificent stiff cock standing tall in front of my glossy lips and doe-like eyes. I was in full-on female mode and wanted him to see how much I was enjoying being on my knees in front of this large wall of a man. I was going to play this for all it was worth. I looked up at him while cupping his scrotum and kissing the tip of his now engorged purple head. Ken was smiling and moaning. "Your eyes Angie! Your beautiful eyes!" His reaction encouraged me to take further action. I gently squeezed his balls and took his penis into my mouth. It was smooth, but rigid. I did not suck it, but tasted it.....it tasted good to me.....not like what I had feared. I hungered for more and found myself licking inside his urethra. He continued moaning and calling my name. "Angie, you are so much a woman!" I remembered my deep throat practice sessions and opened my throat. I could feel him on the back of my tongue making me start to gag, but I pulled him back up and closed my lips around his shaft. Then I recovered from my gag reflex and took him down my throat. This time he stayed down for a moment. I expelled him back up and took it down again, and again, and again. He was making sweet love to my throat and I could feel my penis throbbing from orgasm! All at once he pulled out and exploded all over my face. My first instinct was to grab hold of his cock while it was still expelling seamen and wrap my mouth back around it. I grabbed his butt cheeks and pulled him into my face. I could feel it pumping in my mouth and swallowed the remaining cum. My sexual life as a woman was only in its infancy, yet it had already surpassed my expectations of how fulfilling it could be. I did not feel ashamed or used. I felt like we were two people filling a longing for one another. Ken grabbed me by my waist and picked me up into his arms like a bride being carried over the threshold. I felt like a princess being rescued. He kissed me hard. I kissed back with passion. His musky cologne and sweat fueling me. "My God Angie! Was that pent up female energy?" "Well, I have practiced many times in my fantasies!" We both laughed and collapsed on the bed. I looked at the clock. We needed to get cleaned up and get downstairs for the meeting. I needed to shower and so did Ken. "Do we dare take a shower together Angie?" Before he could say another word, I was out of bed stripping my nightgown off and in the shower. I started soaping up and could feel his hands around my waist from behind. "Your skin is so soft and smooth Angie. I love to run my hands all over you. He started massaging my butt cheeks and slipping his hand inside my crack. It was it was soapy and slick and felt wonderful. I had a growing interest in male orgasms through massaging of a prostate gland and fantasized often about having one. I often imagined my prostate being massaged through my sphincter by either his penis or his fingers. I had tried it with my own dildo but was never able to achieve what I often read about.....a shuddering long lasting orgasm that seemed similar to what a woman might experience if she had multiple orgasms. Naturally, this was appealing to me but knew that if I were to give Ken access, I would first have to give myself an enema to clean out my colon and there was no time for that. I turned around and faced him staring at his chest and broad shoulders. "Ken, we need to get downstairs." He continued to rub my bare bottom. I wanted to continue but thought about Claudia. I knew the right thing to do was to stop this slutty behavior right now and go home. She might be disappointed that I gave Ken a blow job......although she might be interested in the details. "KEN! Please stop." He stopped and gave me a little boy disappointed look. "It's for the best Ken." He was hard again. "Hoo-boy! Let's not live our whole sex life in one morning, okay lover?" "Can I kiss you goodbye?" "Yes, but we had better do it now. I would feel kinda funny kissing you in my dress shirt and slacks." We both laughed. We also both knew what we wanted. I wanted Ken to be all the man I needed. Ken knew that he wanted me to be all the woman that I was capable. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. As he kissed me, I grasped his erect soapy penis and stroked him until he came again. Things were becoming clearer for me. I was in a daze for the morning meeting. My head was spinning. The sales staff was dismissed. My regional manager walked up to me and put out his hand. "Well Brian, have a safe trip home." I nodded and smiled. "You seem a bit distracted this morning. Is everything okay?" Todd was a great boss. He was always supportive. Even though I could probably make more money with another company, Todd was the reason I stayed. "Yes, I am fine. Um, Todd.....how would you feel if a woman ran my territory?" "Huh? Are you putting in your notice?" "Oh God no. I was just wondering if you had to replace me....let's say I got real sick and could not do the job, would you consider hiring a woman?" "Well.....uh.....of course. We have quite a few sales reps that are female. What are you getting at? Are you sick?" "Um....no, not that I know of.....other than a little nutty in the head..... Ha ha"....why in the hell was I bringing this up? Todd tilted his head and smiled. "What is going on with you?" "Oh never mind. I was just thinking out loud. I have to get moving. Have a safe trip home." I did not even hang around for any more goodbyes. I turned around and walked with my head down towards my car and got out of there. My mind was racing. Am I really considering transitioning to a woman? I had not made a purchase for my male wardrobe in probably two years. My female wardrobe had surpassed it by now. My attention to detail when exfoliating my skin and keeping it smooth ......well........ The time I spent with my eyebrow grooming had become something way beyond what many men would consider "normal". I had a five and a half hour drive ahead of me back to Arizona. I could not help but think how nice it would be to go dress shopping with Ken. But I had a lot of thinking to do. I had some questions answered this week that I honestly never really planned on addressing except in my fantasies. I had to come to grips with the fact that.......as Angie, I enjoyed the company and attention I received from a man. I imagined a bigger question for me would be what would I miss about being a man? I did not currently have a girlfriend. My last girlfriend found my stash of feminine things and could not accept "the direction I was headed," as she said. I guess she saw some things that I refused to accept. Was I putting off the inevitable? Time for another chat with my BFF, Claudia. As per usual, Claudia made time for me and listened to all of my concerns. She helped me step back and ask myself some important questions: "Am I really more comfortable as a woman or is it just my "LUST" talking?" That was a good question because things had changed over the years. "Well, I had really gotten away from masturbating every time I dressed. It was not about the orgasm, but more about what it felt like by just playing out a part of the woman in me. As a matter of fact, I do not remember the last time I had a boner." (I could tell her anything). There was a pause, and then I just started laughing. "I think I have been accepting and transitioning for the last year." "Ya think?" Claudia exclaimed. "I wish you were here right now Claudia. I owe you a huge hug." By the time we were done talking, I had reached Yuma, Arizona. I was halfway home. I decided to stretch my legs and walk the mall. There was hardly anyone there so I decided to boldly go into girl mode. That was a big mistake. I felt stupid shaking my hips in my clunky boy shoes. I was starting to get really upset with myself for not staying in San Diego for the weekend. I was putting myself in a bad place and needed to sit down. After some meditating and positive affirmations, I looked up and right in front of me was a MAC cosmetics store. I needed to get into girl-mode....and like NOW! I walked into the MAC store and was immediately greeted with a smiling pretty young woman. I blurted out what was going on and she squealed with enthusiasm. "Well my name is Brandy and I want you to know that I am so exited to bring out the woman in you! What time can you come back for an appointment?" "Well, I do not have any plans and need to change somewhere.....I haven't really thought this through." I felt a little embarrassed but Brandy detected my embarrassment and was so sweet. "Hmmmm, what is your name when you are a girl?" "Angie." "Angie, I am off work in 30 minutes, what would you say to a makeover at my place. You can change at my apartment." Was this a dream? I just smiled, nodded, and said, "How did I find you?" Brandy giggled and took my hands. "Do you want to hear something weird?' Again, I just nodded, my jaw slacked in wonder. "When I was age 13, I found out that my older brother liked to wear mom's clothes. When I came home from school one day, mom and dad were chastising him and I was told to go to my room because it was none of my business. My brother and I were close so I asked him about it later that night when we were alone. He cried as he told me that he was caught in mom's dress and pantyhose. He asked me why he was so drawn to a need to be feminine. I naturally felt horrible for him and cried with him. He left home shortly after that. As I look back, I regret not helping him with his makeup. Maybe this is my chance to make it up to him." I did not know what to say. I felt so grateful. I blurted out, "Thank you." I thought of Ken. He was right. I was past the point of being only 50% woman. Brandy wrote down her address which was across the street from the mall and I went shopping for a dress and heels. I could not wait to get out of my clunky male shoes. I made my way to Payless Shoe Source. Right away, I found a pair of pastel pink peep toe pumps. I slipped on some nylon peds and stepped into the pumps not having a care who was looking. I young, cute woman poked her head around the corner and smiled at me as she looked me up and down. "Are you finding everything okay?" I nodded and smiled back. "Those are really cute on you." I smiled and posed. "Thank you!" Next was Ross department store. I went straight for the dresses, size 12 clearance. I chose three cute, somewhat dressy styles, one strapless, and two halter tops.....PINK! How lucky! As I headed towards the dressing room, I knew that I was just getting closer to becoming Angie. Maybe she was my true self? Brian was getting left behind. The woman at the dressing room, looked at me, frowned and said. "Are these for you?" I smiled at her and said' "Only if they fit darling." She gave a half smile and shrugged her shoulders. Two were cute and fit okay, but one was IT. I smiled at my reflection and blew a kiss at the mirror. I think I am done feeling guilty about my desire to be feminine.......I thought to myself. I took my purchases in hand and headed to Brandy's place, confident and happy with my decisions. Brandy was all smiles when I arrived and almost as anxious as I was to get started on the makeover process. The funny thing was, I directed her as to the look I wanted. Throughout the entire process, I realized that I was fully capable of doing my own makeup. I became so comfortable with her that I told her the entire story of what happened to me with Ken and how much I wished I would have stayed. "Why are you here girl?" Brandy finally exclaimed. "You do not need me to do your makeup, do you?" I made a new friend, but she was right. I did not need her help to become a beautiful woman. I already was!....and I was very anxious to start living like one. As I sat there looking at my reflection, I was consciously making the decision to start the process of living as a woman full time. Brandy looked at my reflection, smiled and turned to me. She put her fingers on my eyebrows and arched them up. "Angie, there IS one thing I could do for you but it is not so androgynous. It is a definitive step closer to the appearance of being female." I knew instinctively exactly what she was referencing. "You mean arching and thinning my eyebrows don't you?" She gave me a broad smile, teeth showing. "Yes! It would be such a beautiful step in the direction you are headed anyway....." "You know what Brandy?" I cooed in my softest, most feminine voice. She answered. "What is it, ......pretty girl." I blushed. "I am going to drive back to San Diego tonight. Go ahead and arch- away!" Her eyes got big and tears began to swell up. Her jaw dropped. "Ken?" "Ken!" She applauded and we squealed with delight. Angie, how would you feel about a hair trim? Since you are headed down that road anyway, I could make a few tiny adjustments to make you less androgynous and decidedly feminine?" I liked the sound of being decidedly feminine! By the time I was headed west, I was an absolute knockout. The eyebrow arching and hair trim was a confirmation that I would likely not see the sight of Brian again for a long while.....if at all. Should I text Ken or surprise him? What if he decided to go home? I texted him. "Hi Ken. Are you still in San Diego?" "Yes." "I feel so silly, but I decided that I want to spend the weekend as Angie with you. Is the offer still open?" "Where are u?!" "Yuma, AZ." ? "OMG! Can you get here by 7:00 pm?" I will make dinner reservations." "Yes, I would love that." "My heart is soaring Angie! I will leave a key at the front desk. Would you like some time to transform?" "Not necessary." "Oh, okay, so you are coming to dinner with me as Brian?" "You will see."