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Harry pulled quickly away from Ginny, wanting to make it look as if he hadn’t intended to get caught. Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t find words powerful enough to express her feelings at the moment. Instead, through clenched teeth she said, "Harry Potter, you had better just stay away from me right now." She turned and walked with false calm out of the room. He let out the breath he’d been holding, glad that she hadn’t tried to kill him, because he would have let her. He collapsed on the couch, feeling drained.
"At least we won’t have to hide." Ginny said quietly as she knelt in front of him. "Better for her to find out now rather than later, right?"
Harry looked down into her hopeful face and began to despise himself all over again. "Actually, Ginny. I don’t think this is going to work out after all. That kiss just proved to me that there really wasn’t anything between us."
She stood abruptly. "What do you mean? Are you saying you didn’t feel…anything?"
"No, I didn’t. And now I’ve ruined things with Hermione, and it was all for nothing. Absolutely nothing." He hoped that had sounded as harsh as he wanted. For this to work, Ginny had to hate him too.
She paced in front of him awhile, looking angry and sad and disappointed all at the same time. Finally she turned to him and slapped him hard across the face. "I’m not nothing!" she yelled. Not knowing what else to do, she ran from the room, her tears freely flowing.
Harry tried to stand, but his legs wouldn’t work right. He decided to let himself cry, for Hermione. Even for Ginny. He had killed two birds with one stone and now, all he had to do was wait for Ron to find out what had happened. One more person to hurt, and then three of his closest friends would be safe.
After he had composed himself, Harry went in search of Fred and Draco. Once together, he led the boys out to the lake, where they could talk privately. He let them in on his plan, and told them what had happened so far. "Hermione, Ron and Ginny shouldn’t be there. Neither should Luna, and if this all plays out right, Ron will keep her from coming to Hogsmeade. Fred, you deserve to face Percy, and I wouldn’t dare be the one to stand in your way, which is why I’m letting you in on this. But you both have to help me here. You have to play along, you have to hate me too, in front of them. Malfoy, you shouldn’t have a problem there."
"Not in the least." He said showing his teeth in a way that Harry chose to believe was a genuine smile.
"I’m not happy about this," Fred said reluctantly, "but you’re right. I don’t want anything to happen to Ron or Ginny." And so the three would-be warriors resigned themselves to hurting the ones they loved, trusted and respected.
(BREAK)
Hermione walked as calmly as she could until she got to the tunnel Fred had showed her. Then she ran, finally letting the tears come. Coming to a stop in the crystal cavern, she fell to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably. She tried to erase what she had seen but it was seared into her mind.
Harry and Ginny had been wrapped around each other… it was an image she could never forget.
She didn’t know what to do or think, didn’t know who she could turn to. She had never expected Harry to hurt her so badly… there had to be a reason for this. Looking at the sparkling cold stones surrounding her, she realized they made her feel cold… and lonely. This vast emptiness of the cavern may be all well and good for Fred but this wasn’t the place for her. Getting herself under control, she wiped her face on her sleeve and smoothed her hair as best she could. Then she rose and began her return to the surface, in search of someone who could help her make sense of all this.
(BREAK)
"He did what?" Ron was incredulous. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I’m sure! I walked right in on them groping each other." Hermione paced in front of him, a ball of anger and nerves. She had grabbed him in the middle of his lunch and dragged him outside against his will. At first he’d been disgruntled, but after hearing what she had to tell him he could see why she was so agitated and instantly turned himself on to sympathetic friend mode.
"Maybe it’s not what it seems, Mione. I mean, I’ve heard the way he’s talked about you, seen the way he looks at you."
"Yeah, well maybe if it was the first time they did this behind my back I could believe it was a mistake, but it isn’t." She sat next to him and buried her head in her hands.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, completely confused.
"During Christmas break, before I got to the house, he found her crying in the parlor and she used it as an opportunity to kiss him. He told me all about it and they both said it was a mistake, but what am I supposed to think now?" She started crying again and he put his arm around her, hugging her close in comfort.
He had no idea that his sister had been so bold, Harry hadn’t told him anything about it. He felt hurt himself then, that his best friend wouldn’t have come and told him any of this. Of course, if Harry was trying to hook up with Ron’s sister in secret, he probably wouldn’t run to tell him about it. But was he? It didn’t seem right. But whatever was happening, it had put Hermione right in the crosshairs and that wasn’t right either. As he held his friend, he felt her intense misery and knew he needed to do something.
Wanting to be alone, Hermione left him to go wander the school grounds shortly after she managed to once more pull herself together. Worried for her, Ron rushed into the castle in search of Harry hoping to find out what was going on. But as he passed Moaning Myrtle’s lavatory, he heard loud sobbing and recognized it as belonging to his sister. Glancing around to be sure no one saw him going into the girls’ bathroom, he quickly opened the door and slipped in. "Ginny?" He called out softly.
"Leave me alone!" she screamed from within one of the stalls.
"You know I can’t do that, not when you’re this upset. What happened?" He walked over to her stall, but she remained silent. "Come on Ginny." He said, lightly tapping on the door.
He nearly fell over backwards when she whipped it open and glared at him with eyes swollen red from heavy tears. "I want to be alone!" she said through gritted teeth.
"Does this have to do with Harry?" he asked gently, not wanting to abandon his sister when she was this upset. What in the world was Harry doing to everyone?
Her face turned dark. "So, Hermione already ran crying to you. Well tell her that she can relax, Harry doesn’t want me."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean Harry doesn’t want you? What is going on? What did he say to you?"
"It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, does it." She slumped down on the floor, her head hanging. "Please, just leave me alone right now. I just want to be alone."
"Okay." He said quietly as he observed her pitiful form. "I’ll be back to check on you in awhile." He promised.
"Whatever."
He left, standing in the hallway for a moment to catch his bearings. Hermione and Ginny, they were both broken with one swift action by Harry. It made his heart hurt to see the girls so upset, and so stealing himself and letting his anger drive him, Ron went in search of Harry in order to get some answers.
(BREAK)
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Ron yelled, grabbing and throwing the book Harry was reading across their dormitory.
Harry took a deep breath. It was time for the third act. "I don’t know what you’re talking about, mate." He said with disinterest, getting up to retrieve his book.
"You broke my sister’s heart! And Hermione’s! Do you know how hard it is to deal with two crying girls?!? I should punch you in the face!" Ron yelled, following him around the room.
"Then do it if it will make you feel better, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. Ginny was there, and I was curious. It’s not my fault that Hermione chose that moment to walk in on us." He responded and moved to the window to gaze out as if he were disinterested in the conversation. Push me, he silently begged.
Ron stood behind him, mouth agape. "Not your fault?"
"I don’t see how this concerns you anyway." Harry said cruelly.
"You cheated on my best friend with my sister! That’s how this affects me! What is the matter with you? Has all the pressure finally broken something in your head?! Why are you acting like this?" He demanded.
"I really don’t feel like talking about this anymore, and I’d rather be alone, so if you wouldn’t mind closing the door on your way out." Harry turned to Ron, putting a blank bored expression on his face.
Ron crossed the room so that he was right in front of Harry, using his height to its full intimidating advantage. "The hell I will! Something is fishy here, and I really don’t care what it is at this point. But you are never to use my sister again!"
"I’ll use whoever I like, Ron. If it weren’t for me, you’d all be dead now anyway. I’ll use your sister as I see fit and let’s face it, we both know she’ll come running back every time." Ron turned angrily away. Harry didn’t have to read his mind to know what was coming and his last thought was, this is going to hurt, before Ron’s fist came flying at him.
(BREAK)
The vision came upon her quickly and when she came out of it, Luna’s felt her whole world turned upside down. It had only confirmed what her dreams had been telling her, but some event must have finally taken place to put them all on this road. Although the vision given to her was one far off in the future, it showed her and her friends as they will be when the dark times are over, and they were all happy. As long as they stayed on the right path. The only problem was that it was a future she’d never envisioned for herself, and she was sure her friends had never expected to end up the way she saw them. More than that, it confirmed her deepest fears about her relationship with Ron. She had so wanted him to be right for her, but if she was being honest, she’d begun to doubt their compatibility long before her dreams started. Should she tell them all what was in store for them?
No, she decided against telling them. After all, that future was so far off and so many things could change it. But if that was the way it ultimately had to be, then she would do her best to secretly keep them all on the right path. And as long as the future remained a happy one, she would let fate guide them all, herself included.
(BREAK)
The next month passed uncomfortably for Harry, since word had spread quickly through the school about the fighting between him and his friends. He sat alone in the back of every class, and kept his head down as other students wholly unconnected to him and his situation threw taunts. He could handle this though, all of these kids angry over what they can’t understand and taking it out on him. It was his fault after all for the way his former friends now behaved. Ginny had been well liked among her peers and kind to everyone, but now she refused to see anyone outside of class, not even her brothers. Hermione had stopped raising her hand, forcing the other students to provide answers, and deal with the ridicule that comes with being wrong. She also refused to help anyone with their homework, which was felt hardest by the Gryffindors. Many house points were lost due to late work and wrong answers in Potions. Ron was doing horribly in quidditch practice, and his performance grew worse as the game against Slytherin fast approached. In fact, Harry was surprised to realize that it was this Friday. Hogsmeade was on Saturday. It was going to be a busy weekend.
After announcing there would be no final trip to Hogsmeade to a disappointed school, Dumbledore had closed the owlery so that no one could send out word of the cancelled visit. Harry knew that this was all part of the plan, he had been meeting with the Headmaster, Fred, Draco and the other Professors three times a week, going over the details. It was simple really, they were going to ambush the Death Eater ambushers when they entered the village. Draco had said Lucius and the others were to invade the village before dawn and take Harry as soon as they saw him. Half of the professors from the school were going to hide out in town along with Tonks, Moody, Kingsley and the Aurors, as well as most of the townspeople who were staying to defend their homes. Dumbledore was to stay behind at the castle with the rest of the professors, in case there would be trouble at the school. He would only be called away if things got out of hand in Hogsmeade. Harry, hoped they wouldn’t need him; his faith in all of these adults had not been restored. He wanted to scream at them what he was giving up in order to do this, but kept it all inside instead, waiting to use it on his enemies.
(BREAK)
Hermione sat in the library with Ron and Luna as they all worked on separate essays. As had become usual in the last few weeks, she was having trouble focusing on her work and was letting her mind wander to thoughts of Harry. He’d been so cold to everyone lately, and she couldn’t understand where this sudden attitude was coming from. As Ron slammed his book shut in frustration, Hermione reminded herself that she no longer cared what was going on with Harry.
"What’s wrong?" Luna asked him.
"I’ve read this same page five times and I still couldn’t tell you what it said." Ron answered unhappily as he slumped down in his seat. Then something across the room caught his eye and he sat up very straight. "Hey, look over there, isn’t that Fred?"
"In the library?" Hermione turned to look. "He swore he’d never set foot in here."
"Well, let’s go see what’s going on." He suggested.
"I think we should just leave him alone. He seems to be in the middle of something." Luna pointed out, looking nervous.
Hermione could tell that Fred was talking to someone, but whoever it was back there, they were hidden by the massive bookshelves. "I’m sure he wouldn’t care if we went over to say hi." Her curiosity had been peaked and she wanted to know what Fred was up to. Some part of her felt certain it had something to do with Harry.
"I think he might." Luna quietly replied.
"Who cares?" Ron said, getting up and walking over to his brother. Hermione went to follow him, noting that Luna had stayed where she was. "Hey, Fred!" he called across the library.
In the midst of students shushing Ron, she noticed Fred look up in panic before glancing at whoever his companion was. And then he fled, before they could reach him. "What is he doing?"
"Come on!" Ron ran forward and she followed close on his heels, but all they managed to see was three boys running out of the library. "Was that Harry and Draco with him?" he asked incredulously.
"I’m not sure." She answered, though she knew what she had seen. What on earth would those three have to talk about?
Apparently Ron thought he knew who would have the answers. He turned and stalked back to their table where Luna was still calmly sitting. "What was that all about?" he demanded of his girlfriend.
"You’ll have to ask them." She said evasively, neither confirming nor denying that she did know something.
"I’m so tired of this Luna." Ron said, gathering his things. "I can’t handle all these secrets anymore. My friends are flailing all around me and I know that you know why."
"It’s not my place to say." She said quietly.
"It never is, is it?" Ron said in an angry whisper after a stern look from Madame Pince. "You’re always looking out for everyone else. When will it be my turn, Luna? When will you finally take my side?" And then he thundered off leaving the two girls speechless in his wake.
"I’m sorry Hermione. I’m just so sorry." Luna said with tears in her eyes.
"For what?" she asked softly, reaching out to place her hand on the girl’s shoulder in comfort.
"Everything." She answered before racing out of the library herself. Hermione sat, staring at the table and not caring if everyone was looking at her. She suddenly got even more angry with Harry. Not only had he ruined their relationship, he was inadvertently ruining Ron and Luna’s. She felt bad for the other girl, having so much responsibility on her shoulders. Although she would very much like to know what Luna was keeping secret for Harry, she agreed that it wasn’t her place to say anything. After all, the only reason she knew anything was because of her special powers, she obviously wasn’t in Harry’s confidence. But Fred was, and so was Draco apparently.
Something pricked at Hermione’s thoughts, some conversation she’d had with Harry in the recent past about those boys. But her mind was a muddled mess lately and she couldn’t make the memory come to her. With a heavy sigh, she gathered her own things and left to go find Fred. If she couldn’t make him tell her what was going on, then she might as well warn him that Ron was on a warpath to find out the truth.
(BREAK)
Finally Friday came, and Fred found that he was at a loss. For a month now, his friends and siblings had been absolutely inconsolable. Of course he agreed with Harry that Ron, Ginny, Luna and Hermione shouldn’t be going into battle. Where he disagreed was the way Harry had chosen to keep them from following. He would have come up with a different idea, but by the time he knew anything about it, Harry had already taken action. Many times since, Fred had tried to hint to the others that none of this was real, but Harry had done his job well. It seemed everyone but Luna hated him right now, although since she was the only one Harry hadn’t hurt directly that was understandable. He didn’t know what to do, and he hated seeing them all, Harry included, feeling so miserable. And when Hermione had come to him, asking questions he couldn’t give her the answers to he’d felt ten times worse. He’d taken to avoiding her and Ron, and now thankfully he only had to make it until the next day.
But as he walked to lunch, he saw Ron sitting alone on the floor just outside the Great Hall and feeling a tug on his heart, decided that being a good brother was more important than hiding Harry’s secret. "Hey, what’s up?" Fred asked, taking a seat next to him.
"I can’t play in the game tonight." Ron answered quietly.
He was surprised, figuring his brother would have taken the opportunity to jump down his throat for information. "Why not?"
"Because I’ll lose it for us. You’ve seen me at practice, I’ve lost any ability I had to play. And I don’t want to be the reason we lose to Slytherin." Ron’s voice was low and slightly monotone.
Fred was really starting to worry. "I’ll help you, alright? I’ll stay by the goal and block for you."
"You’re supposed to fly with Harry." Ron said, making a face.
"Without Cho trying to kill him up there, I think Harry can take care of himself." Fred answered, now wondering if their decision not to replace George was a good one. With McGonagall’s permission, they had all said they would leave the second beater position open and play the rest of the year one man down, out of respect to the memory of his murdered twin.
Ron was shaking his head. "Why did he do this to us Fred?"
"I don’t know." He lied. "But I’m sure it’s not what we’re all thinking. Harry always has a reason for doing the things he does." Then he told him the same cover story he’d told Hermione a few days before. "I’ve been trying to talk to him about it, I just didn’t want you guys to know. That’s why I ran from you the other day."
"And why was Malfoy there?"
"Beats me, you’ll have to ask Harry about that one. But I don’t think all this is as bad as everyone thinks. I think there’s got to be a reason for it."
"He nearly destroyed our sister! And Hermione! He’s been picking fights with me and everyone else. It’s like he and Malfoy switched places or something." Ron said with anger and a bit of concern. "And now I’m in another fight with Luna, and it’s about him. And here you are, defending him just like she is."
"I’m sure we’ll all find out what’s going on in time." Fred tried to offer. But Ron wasn’t buying.
"It’s taken too long already." He said, shaking his head. "A month we’ve all been like this! I’m not sure we can all go back to the way it used to be, even if Harry did have some stellar reason for putting us all through this."
Fred wasn’t sure what to say in answer, what comforting words he could give. But as they sat there together in the empty corridor, he certainly hoped his brother was wrong.
(BREAK)
Harry sat in the locker room, straining to hear the cheering students in the stands. There was nothing but silence. Everyone had been holding their breath all day in anticipation of this game, because of the events that took place the last two times Gryffindor took the field.
Ron and Ginny were quiet, keeping to themselves in the corner and occasionally throwing angry, hurt glances at Harry. He wanted desperately to tell them the decision he had made late last night while trying to fall asleep. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell anyone, he didn’t want them to try and change his mind, though he wasn’t sure anyone would care at this point. He had decided he wouldn’t be coming back next year. Not to Hogwarts, not to the Dursley’s, not to Dumbledore. He would hole himself up in Grimmauld Place, training himself, strengthening his new powers and waiting for the time to fight. He shivered in anticipation of putting this new plan into action as he followed his team out to the field.
Harry was scared to scan the crowds for Hermione’s face. He felt almost certain she wouldn’t be there, so he was surprised to see her sitting in the front row and had to catch himself before he waved to her, instead taking in her unhappy scowl. Her mind was a stone fortress and he suspected she had been practicing extra hard on how to keep him out. Harry quickly took in the rest of the crowd while the captains came forward to shake hands; everyone’s faces were filled with grim expectation. And then there was Luna, actually in the Ravenclaw section. Harry looked at her in confusion, but she was trying very hard not to meet his eyes- or look at Ron. Fred noticed where Harry was looking and as they took their places on the field he leaned over and whispered, "She and Ron had some big blowout. Rumor is, it was over you." Fred threw him a sympathetic look before the whistle blew and they both raced upwards.
The game itself was nothing out of the ordinary. With every professor in the stands and memories of past events still fresh in everyone’s minds, there were no pranksters from the Slytherin team pulling the usual antics. In fact there were very few jeers and taunts thrown out at all. Ron’s concentration was suffering terribly and after an hour of play, the only way Gryffindor could possible win was to catch the snitch. So during a timeout that was called after a foul, Ginny had Fred give up on trying to help Ron and focus his energy on keeping the path clear for Harry.
When play resumed, Fred became Harry’s shadow. After another ten minutes, he caught sight of the snitch hovering 5 feet above the ground near the Gryffindor rings. The other seeker was all the way down the field so Harry took his time and grabbed the snitch like it was the easiest thing in the world. As the team landed cheering and hugging, the stands finally went crazy in celebration of a safely played game as Harry walked off the field alone, his broom dragging behind him.
(BREAK)
"Congratulations." Luna said quietly as she came up to Ron before he made it to the locker rooms.
Ron wasn’t feeling very victorious after the performance he’d just given on the field. And with everything else he was going through, he wasn’t in the frame of mind to make up with his girlfriend either. "Why don’t you go congratulate Harry? He’s the one who won the game for us, just like always."
Luna sighed deeply. "Because I wanted to come see you."
"I’m sure." He answered bitterly.
"Ron this is getting ridiculous. I know it seems like Harry is being a very bad friend-"
"He’s being a horrible person in general!" Ron interrupted. "And here you are, once more sticking up for him."
"Because-"
"I know!" he interrupted again, feeling his anger bubble over. "I know you defend him because you keep saying there’s something else going on, but then you can’t tell me what it is. Well you know what Luna? I don’t care anymore. He and Fred and Draco have something going on, we all see it, but I just don’t care."
"Well you should!" she yelled back. "You should care enough to realize that nothing Harry has done makes any sense and therefore it can’t possibly be real!"
"Then what is it all about?" He screamed in her face. "Why did he have to tear down Ginny and Hermione? Why does he have to go around saying and doing the things he has been? Why is he turning on us all?"
"He isn’t!" she screamed back. Then she seemed to get herself under control, taking a few steps back to literally distance herself from the argument. "Look, it’s because of all this secrecy. Let me talk to him, see if I can’t get him to just come clean with everyone."
"And what if we just don’t care to hear what he has to say anymore?" Ron asked, crossing his arms.
"Then that’s your loss. Enjoy your celebration party." She said angrily as she stalked away.
(BREAK)
Nothing had made her feel as normal as flying around the field and playing Quidditch. Ginny reflected that this was perhaps because while up there concentrating on winning the game, she didn’t have time to dwell on all the things she felt were driving her insane. Harry disappeared quickly after they won, wisely choosing not to try and join in the celebration. She wanted to hate him, she really did. She just couldn’t, and now that she was once more on the ground, she didn’t feel like enjoying the Quidditch victory. She didn’t want to be around anyone at all and so quickly changing in the locker room, she snuck out while her brothers, Seamus and Parvati showered up.
She wandered the grounds of the school, her only goal to avoid everyone. Her head was hurting again, it always did lately, as she tried to piece together where things had begun to go so wrong in her life. She supposed it all began when she was eleven and under the influence of the Riddle Diary. She had been disappointed with herself, being so stupid to be swept up into something that put Harry and Ron in the position to chase after her and nearly get themselves killed in the process. Since then, she often felt her thoughts weren’t her own… not that they were Riddle’s anymore either. It was more like she felt lost, confused all the time. She didn’t know how she felt about anything, but she was tired of being so gullible. She had believed Harry as easily as she had Riddle, the whole thing made her feel like a child again. Some thing to be easily manipulated to fit into someone else’s plans. She couldn’t do it anymore, she couldn’t live like this. Something had to change and she had a feeling she was the one who needed do the changing. Had she been a stronger person, Harry never would have been able to destroy her so easily. She was the one who hadn’t been able to let go of the fantasy, she’d been the one to keep pursuing him even after he told her he wanted someone else. Her grief and sorrow had reached a high point this year after Neville and then George had died, and she had let herself be lost in the misery. But how was she supposed to climb out now when she was buried so deeply in despair?
(BREAK)
Harry sat by the lake, still in his quidditch uniform. He felt Luna before he saw her, as she came around and took a seat in front of him. He had a feeling she had known what was going on the whole time, though to be fair he hadn’t tried to shield it from her. Maybe he was still hoping there would be one person on his side. She took a deep breath before beginning in a quietly supportive voice. "You don’t have to, you know. You don’t have to do any of this. They have the right to come with you tomorrow. They have the right to know you didn’t really betray them."
"Didn’t I?" he said glumly, pulling up blades of grass so that he could look anywhere but at her. "Didn’t I betray them? Even if it was for the right reasons?"
"There’s no right reason for pushing away everyone who loves you. That’s just selfish." She hesitated. Harry knew what she had to say. He didn’t want to hear it, but he deserved it. "Harry, you may never get them back. I’ve never seen Ron or Ginny so hurt and angry. And Hermione has closed up into herself so much that even I can’t get in her head. I’ve kept your secret, without you even knowing I knew, out of respect for you, but I won’t do it anymore. I’m going to tell them about tomorrow, about Hogsmeade… about all of your plans. They have the right to decide for themselves. We all have something to lose, Harry, something much more important than our lives. We’re losing each other."
"You can’t!" He felt panicked. "Fred, Draco and I decided…"
"Bull Harry!" She yelled, rising to her feet. "You decided and they went along with it because they had no choice. You had already taken action…you should know better than to try and fool me. I’m telling them why you did this. Hopefully they’ll forgive you and we can stand strong together."
"Luna, I’m asking you not to. Please. I won’t be able to do what I have to do if I’m worried about them. And when the time comes to fight Voldemort, I won’t be able to keep my head cool if any of them…if they…if they died." He knew he was pleading, begging. But he didn’t care. She had to understand.
"That’s their risk to take, Harry." She said simply.
"I could take you to Dumbledore right now, you know. Or McGonagall. They’ll silence you with bickeross or whatever it takes, because, if you tell anyone, you’d be jeopardizing all the plans we so carefully made. You could ruin everything!" Harry leapt to his feet, his threat hanging in the air between them.
Luna, however, remained calm. "There’d still be time to bring them into the plan. You know as well as I that Dumbledore would never use a potion on a student, not a good student anyway."
"Then I’ll tell Snape." Harry crossed his arms. "As I see you forgot your wand, I’ll put you in a binding spell and bring you to him. ‘You know as well as I’," he used her own words against her, "that Snape would do it without hesitation."
Luna shook her head in disbelief. "Who are you? You certainly aren’t Harry Potter. He was never so cold." She turned to walk away, but on instinct he reached out and grabbed her arm.
"These things change people. I need to not feel right now. Understand that coldness is the only thing that will save us all." He knew, though his tone was sure and steady, that he was still pleading with her…trying to make her see his side. And she knew it too. She shook off his grip and raised a hand to his cheek.
"I understand that’s what you believe. You really would hate me forever, wouldn’t you? If I told?" She glided her fingers gently across his chin, studying his eyes. Then she wrapped him in a hug, her arms tight around his neck. He was stunned. He could feel the ice in his eyes melt softly at her display of friendship and he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her shoulder. He wanted to cry, but couldn’t. She stroked his hair, patiently letting him hold her as long as he needed. Finally, she said, "I won’t tell them Harry. Not because you’ve convinced me it’s right, and not because I’m scared of your threats. I’m keeping your secret because…" She gently let go and placed her hands on either side of his face. Then she bought his ear to her lips and whispered, "because you can’t fight destiny, Harry. And in the end, I see us all there together. I see it so clearly." She pulled back and smiled. Then she started walking away.
Harry didn’t know what to say or do or think. Without realizing he was saying anything, he shouted after her…"I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luna."
"I hope so." She called softly over her shoulder.
(BREAK)
The Gryffindors enjoyed a picnic on the pitch with their Quidditch team to celebrate their win of the house cup. Only something outrageous could affect their standing before the end of the year. Hermione sat by herself under the stands, shielded from sight by the massive wooden structure. She watched as her classmates engaged in innocent revelry while feeling like she may never be happy again. Glancing at Fred and Ron, she saw that they both were standing off by themselves trying to look like they were enjoying themselves. She didn’t know why they were bothering. She scanned the crowd and realized Ginny wasn’t there. Neither was Harry. Well, they were probably off together and she could care less. No, that was a lie. Hermione cared very much about it, she just wished she didn’t.
"Hey, fancy seeing you back here." Said a wry voice behind her.
Whipping around, she found Draco Malfoy standing behind her, staring out at their classmates. "What are you doing here?"
"Same as you I’d imagine. I’m hiding from my former friends." He sneered. But under his hardness, she saw uncertainty and maybe a bit of fear.
"They are still my friends." She answered defensively. "I didn’t betray my friends like you did." She added just to hurt him.
"Hey, I did that to help all of you." He angrily replied. "You’ll want to back off a bit Granger." He warned. "I may be on your side now but that doesn’t mean I like any of you."
"You’re a sneaky little jerk, no matter what you do." She said standing and brushing dirt from her clothes as she prepared to storm off.
"Oh yeah? As sneaky as Potter? I don’t see him out there at the party… Of course Ginny isn’t out there either. Maybe they’re off finishing what you walked in on a few weeks ago." He said with a malicious grin.
She knew he was lashing out, trying to make her feel bad. But knowing it didn’t make his words hurt any less. "If they are, it’s no longer a concern of mine." She answered stiffly. To her surprise, he softened.
"Look, I didn’t come over here to start a fight with you."
"Then why did you come over here? Why couldn’t you have just left me alone?"
"Because I felt bad for you." He admitted, once more angry as if admitting he had thought of someone else was her fault. "This whole thing with Potter, it’s gotten so out of hand, I doubt any of this is what he had planned for."
"What plan, what are you talking about?" She demanded.
"Nothing." He said sullenly, turning his back on her. "I just have been watching you all lately-"
"You’ve been watching us for years." She accused.
"Fair enough. But this last month, you all have really been falling apart and it seems, well…"
"What?" She asked impatiently. "Spit it out."
"It just seems that while you’re all hurting right now, no one seems to realize how bad it’s getting for Ginny. I mean you look and act terribly now, but I really think she feels like Potter ran her over with an emotional truck. And she seemed kind of unstable before this whole thing." He looked concerned, truly concerned, and though it threw her, Hermione wasn’t in the mood to talk about the youngest Weasley.
"Really Malfoy? You think I’m the best one to come talk to about being worried about Ginny? What do you care anyway?"
"I don’t care." He scoffed. "It just that when this all blows over and you and Potter kiss and make up, she’ll still be left out in the cold, used and thrown away. Let’s just say I can sympathize with her." He added miserably.
"Well, rest your sad little heart, Harry and I won’t be getting past this."
He looked at her in contempt. "You really do think you’re so smart, don’t you Granger. You just know everything." He grinned wickedly. "There’s so much you don’t know about this whole thing it’ll make your head spin."
"Oh, but you know all about it? Why, because you and Harry are such good friends now that he confides in you?" She laughed as if the idea were the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.
Draco simply grinned wider before walking away. She wanted to scream in frustration. It was so much easier when the lines were clear and she knew who the bad guys were. Draco may have decided to switch sides, but he was still the same underneath, just as she’d suspected. She didn’t take anything he’d said seriously though, figuring he was just trying to cause more trouble. And so grabbing her things, she returned to the castle, feeling even more hardened than when she’d left it that morning.
(BREAK)
Harry got ready for bed in silence that night as had become his custom. Ron never looked in his direction anymore, unless it was to glare, so naturally he was surprised to see his friend walking up to him. He sat warily on his bed, waiting to see what was going to happen. Had Luna gone back on her word in order to end the rumored fight she was having with her boyfriend?
Ron stopped right in front of him and Harry caught Dean and Seamus’s movements as they hurried out of the room to give the boys privacy. He spoke slowly and quietly. "What is going on with you, my brother and Draco?"
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked quickly.
"I see it, we all see it. You three stand around with your heads in a circle. Now I can understand you and Fred being chummy, but what the hell is going on with Draco. Is he like your new best friend? Are you replacing me with him?" Ron eyes grew dark.
"Of course not. We’re working on a project." Harry said lamely.
"Right, like I’d believe anything that comes out of your mouth these days." Ron said rolling his eyes and turning his back.
"Then why are you asking? Why are you bothering me at all?" Harry stood yelling.
"Because we need to sort this out!" Ron yelled back, turning to face him again. Then he did something that even seemed to surprise him; he pushed Harry back down. The surprise was covered quickly as Harry stared up at him in amazement. "Stay there. I’ve got one more question."
"Well?" He crossed his arms.
"Since you’re going around replacing people, who exactly are you replacing Luna with? You see, I’m having this huge fight with my girlfriend, and surprise! Like all fights going on these days, it was about you. She knows something she isn’t sharing. Is she your new Hermione, the way Draco is the new me?"
Harry forced himself to stand and laugh in Ron’s face. It hurt. "What’s it to you?" He yelled back. "You wanted Hermione from the beginning. She’s free, go get her! As for Luna…well (he prayed Luna wasn’t listening in) you’re just as crazy as she is. Why on earth would I ever want to spend more than five minutes with her? I don’t know what she thinks she knows, and I don’t know where she heard it from, but I’m sure the voices in her weird, demented head were the ones who told her. No wonder you’ve lost your mind too, with all the time you spend with her." Harry turned then, expecting to get punched again. He wanted to be punched again, because he was disgusted with himself at how easily being cruel was coming to him. He hoped this would soon be over, before he was completely taken over by this bitter creature that had obviously been lurking inside him. He turned to Ron again, waiting. But Ron was staring past Harry’s shoulder, pain and pity in his eyes. He spun around to see Hermione standing in the doorway, her face stone, her gaze icy.
"Just so you know." She said in a voice completely devoid of any sign of the girl she had been. "We can hear you two all the way in the girls’ tower. You might want to keep it down." She turned and walked out. And then Harry couldn’t help himself. It was too much, too much hurt to see her like that. He ran after her into the common room, expecting to have to battle the girls’ stairs and instead, was just in time to see the portrait close. He ran after her, listening with all his might, following her footsteps and determined to tell her everything and beg forgiveness. He would stun her tomorrow if he had to, in order to keep her from following him, but he couldn’t bear this anymore. Luna’s warning, that he may never get his friends back, was ringing in his head.
"Hermione!" He called out of breath as he followed her out into the breezy night. She stopped but didn’t turn. He ran around to face her. "I need to tell you… I need to tell you everything. The truth."
"I’m not interested." She said before stepping around him and continuing to walk to the lake.
"But it wasn’t real!" He said running after her. "I set it up, so that you and Ginny would hate me."
"Mission accomplished." She walked on.
"I wanted you to hate me so you wouldn’t want to follow me into battle!" He ran ahead of her and blocked the path. "But I can’t do it. I can’t go through with it, seeing you like this…I can’t do it."
"It’s too late, Harry." She glared him down. "You can’t just take it all back like it didn’t happen. The things you’ve said to and about people lately have made me wonder…."
"Wonder what?" he asked quietly, hanging his head.
"Wonder if this wasn’t the real you all along. How else could it come so easily?" She looked at him, hoping for a real response, hoping for something she could understand. But he had nothing to offer. Her words pierced him because he had been wondering the same thing. She looked at him a few minutes longer, took in his silence and sighed. "When you have an answer, find me." She turned to leave.
"Because I would do anything for you! To protect you, to keep you safe. That’s why it came so easily." She stopped, her back once again to him. Her mind was still a fortress and he could only hope he was getting through. "Because loving you is easy. Because in order to love you, this time I had to hurt you. Ginny is a friend. She could never be more. But I had to hurt her too, and Ron. Don’t you see, it’s all connected! We’re all connected. I can’t lose you. I’d have nothing to live for, no reason to win!" Had he gotten through? Her back was still to him. He waited, holding his breath. After a few moments she only shook her head and kept walking. Harry collapsed in a heap on the ground. He had no more strength, he had failed at everything.
(BREAK)
As soon as he entered his room, Draco felt he wasn’t alone. Pulling out his wand he turned to the corner where Crabbe and Goyle had just pulled off their invisibility cloaks. "What are you two doing here?" he demanded.
"We came to talk to you." Goyle said coming forward. "There have been rumors going around the Slytherin common room about you."
"Who cares what those idiots have to say." He snarled, though on the inside he felt nervous. These two may have been too stupid to live, but they were also very big and threatening boys, which was the main reason he’d kept them around as his lackeys. But if they chose to turn on him, they’d probably be able to kill him with their bare hands.
"Maybe you should care. They’re saying you joined Dumbledore, that you’ve been seen talking with Potter. Some are even saying that you didn’t just turn on Cho, that you’re turning on all of us." Crabbe said, stepping forward threateningly. "It’s not true, is it Draco?"
"Of course not you idiot!" He hissed out. "I’m undercover, a spy. Get it?"
"A spy?" They looked doubtful.
"Yes moron. A spy. Cho got herself caught up and so I turned on her to gain their trust. Now they let me be around to hear all sorts of things. I’ve been sneaking reports off to my father for weeks now." He wasn’t surprised by how quickly the lies came to him, only by how convincing he felt he was being.
"See, I knew it was that way it had to be." Goyle said with something like relief.
"Just keep your mouths shut about it. If you two mess this up for me I will absolutely destroy you." He said, at last finding the authority he used to have over them.
"Whatever you say Draco." Crabbe said in relief. Apparently they hadn’t been looking forward to the idea that they may have had to hurt him. It made him feel a little more secure. Of course fooling these two was a lot easier than someone with an actual working brain. Draco would just have to wait and see what came, but he knew he could never again go anywhere without his wand. There was no one on either side for him to really trust. At the moment, he was an island unto himself.
(BREAK)
The sun was just peaking over the horizon as Harry glanced out his window over Hogwart’s grounds. A light fog rolled out of the Forbidden Forest, sending imaginary figures towards the castle. Whether they were in warning or defiance, Harry couldn’t guess. He quickly and quietly got dressed and eased his way down the stairs. Fred was already waiting for him and from the look of his red eyes and sagging face, it seemed he had waited all night in the common room for dawn to break. They silently made their way to Dumbledore’s office, neither knowing what to say in the moment. Harry wished that he had the ring, that he could ask Sirius’s opinion, his parents’ opinion on how to proceed.
Malfoy was already in the office when they arrived. As the three boys sat silently receiving their last minute instructions, Harry looked out past his professors to the window. The sun was now fully visible sitting on the horizon, and he knew that the people of Hogsmeade were taking their places, preparing themselves. He listened as Draco gave his report that his contacts, the ones who didn’t know of his betrayal, had assured him that the Death Eaters were to be in the village that day. Finally they rose and began packing up, Harry feeling certain that the bad guys must already be in the village, only waiting for him to show before they apparated in. He stared at the weapons the Aurors had brought with them, they looked complicated and he realized he was happy with his own weapons. All he was bringing was his wand and his mind.
As he stepped into the coach behind Fred, Harry noticed Lupin and Tonks. They were staring grimly into each other’s eyes, their hands clasped. They quickly rested their foreheads together before separating into different coaches; Tonks with the Aurors, Lupin with the professors. Harry ached for Hermione then, in a way he never had before. In a way he didn’t know. He swallowed his doubt and took his seat as Hagrid ordered the coaches forward into battle.
A/N: Sorry once again this took so long. Next chapter: The Hogsmeade Battle.
Chapter 40: Loyalty, Defiance and War
NOTE: ACTION TIME!!! Yay!!! Read on! Review when you’re done! And absolutely enjoy!
The streets were deserted and the sun had just barely cleared the horizon. Hogsmeade was in lockdown. Everyone who had stayed to fight was hidden, waiting for the ambush. Harry walked the street alone, trying not to appear suspicious. Looking around, waiting and playing the bait, he noticed the sun hanging low, orange against the pink sky. He wanted to remember it in case things went wrong here today. In case this was the last sunrise he would see. He imagined Hermione was beside him- that they were just standing together watching the miracle of this new day. But new days were only miracles when presented with the possibility that there would be no tomorrow.
He could feel the air start to change. Someone, or more like lots of someones were about to apparate right in front of him. And then with a resounding crack there they were. They had been watching for him to appear and surrounded him, just like he thought they would. Many were faces he had never seen, and many were all too familiar, like Bellatrix, Percy and Lucius. In all there appeared to be over a hundred of them.They were all sent here for me? Harry thought to himself, almost feeling honored that Voldemort felt such a large number was necessary to take him down. He turned as Lucius stepped forward.
"No masks today?" Harry asked, waiting to give his signal.
"We don’t intend to leave any survivors. After we dispose of you, we will burn this town and everyone in it while they sleep in their beds." Lucius drew his wand, and then a thought seemed to occur to him. Harry saw the panic in his eyes and smiled.
"Took you a minute, didn’t it. To wonder why I was here early, why I was alone. I’m glad you left those masks at home. Now everyone will know who they are fighting." Harry’s wand was out and he threw up the red signal flair. Instantly they were all surrounded by more than three hundred witches and wizards, ready to defend their town with their lives.
Draco stepped up next to Harry, making his position very clear. "I’ll bet you wish you had paid more attention to me now don’t you?" He sneered at his father.
In an instant, everyone was in motion. Harry stood in the middle of the confusion, watching as Lucius approached his son, wand out. Draco hadn’t wavered. Harry gripped his own wand tighter, staying in case he was needed here. "I hoped I would see you. Traitor." Lucius growled.
"I’m not a traitor. I’m just doing what you always told me to do. I’m picking the winning side."
Lucius glared at him. Harry saw what he intended to do and was instantly in motion. He had barreled into Draco, pushing him out of the way so that the killing curse his father had just hurled at him would miss its target. They stumbled through the doorway of the nearest building and crouched down behind the counter.
"I never thought he’d actually kill you!" Harry said shocked.
"You should have." Draco answered back, clenching his teeth in pain and holding his arm.
"What happened? Did I do that?" Harry tried to see if the arm was broken or bleeding but Draco wouldn’t let go.
"It wasn’t you. It’s just that the spell didn’t completely miss." He held out his limp arm. "I can’t feel it at all from my forearm down. But it’ll be all right. Go back out there already!"
"But the spell…will it spread?" Harry asked, surprised by his concern.
"Of course not! You are as big an idiot as I thought. You go, I just need to get my bearings and I’ll go back out too." Draco said shakily.
Harry was unsure. He never thought he’d care whether Draco Malfoy lived or died. But then he thought, if Lucius would do this to his own son, what could he be doing to Fred or Lupin or Tonks? "Alright, I’m going. But be careful. It took a lot of convincing for Dumbledore to let you come with. I don’t want to lose my credibility."
"Yeah, yeah, you want the whole world to love you. Just get out of here!" Draco shoved him, though his eyes were glassy, his gaze growing far off. Harry clamped a hand on Draco’s shoulder in silent support and then before he could change his mind, he rushed back into the fray.
(BREAK)
From the moment he showed his face, Fred never took his eyes off Percy. When the fighting broke out, he instantly stunned two people who were in his way as he chased his brother through the streets, he wasn’t even sure they were both Death Eaters, so involved was he in the pursuit. "Percy! Stop!" He shouted but the other boy just kept running.
Suddenly a group of villagers appeared ahead of them and he screamed out a warning as Percy raised his wand, shouting out a spell that caused the ground to explode beneath their feet. He watched in horror as bodies fell to the ground and those still alive after the blast groaned in pain. For a moment both Weasley brothers stared in shocked horror at what one of them had done. But as the Aurors who heard the blast came running, Percy snapped out of it and with a glance over his shoulder, ran through his own destruction. Fred immediately gave chase, ignoring Kingsley’s call for him to come back.
Percy led him deeper into the battle, making it so that it would be impossible for Fred to follow uninterrupted. More and more Death Eaters tried to block his way, but he wouldn’t be deterred from his goal. Finally they reached the edge of town, where only a few people were fighting. "Stupefy!" He screamed attempting to hit his target. Percy shielded just in time, turning to shoot a spell back. Fred ducked out of the way as his brother ran past Antonin Dolohov. "Stop him from following me!" Percy instructed the large man.
Before he could shield himself, Fred was thrown back several feet, landing hard on his back. Ignoring the pain, he rolled onto his knees in time to see Percy run off. Dolohov moved to stand in front of him, blocking his view of his retreating brother. "You don’t want to be in my way." He growled out as he rose to his feet.
Dolohov laughed. "I think I do. This will be fun."
"It sure will be, for me. Let’s just do this quickly." Fred answered with a wicked grin as he and the man began to duel.
(BREAK)
As Harry walked out, the building two doors down on his left exploded. He didn’t notice. Finding Fred and Lupin were his first priorities. Walking through the battle, he took out random Death Eaters with stunners, allowing the wizards they were fighting to get the upper hand. There were already dead bodies lining the street. Luckily, it seemed they were mostly Death Eaters. They had lost maybe half their number making Harry feel hopeful. If they could subdue the last fifty, they would win. Just as the thought of victory crossed his mind, there was a loud crack and everyone turned to see around four hundred more Death Eaters apperate into the village. "You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you Potter?" Harry turned to face Bellatrix LeStrange, wand at the ready.
"Well, let’s go then. Show me how much harder it will be." He dared her.
(BREAK)
Sleep was impossible for Hermione. She had tossed and turned the whole night while dwelling on Harry’s "confession" and finally ended up pacing the floor of the common room right after sunrise. She thought she had heard people walking around, but no one was there when she came down. She tried not to think about what Harry had said, tried not to care that he wanted to make things right. Why should she? After he had promised her that there was nothing going on with Ginny and he had convinced her he loved her, after she had given him everything of her that she had to give, he’d turned it all around and ruined it in one moment. And then after letting her sink into depression for a month because of it, he had tried to feed her that lie last night- that it had all been for her. There was too much hurt, he had broken too much of her trust for her to believe that.
But it nagged at her. Harry really hadn’t wanted any of them to go fight with him. But who would go to such drastic measures? Who would hurt the people they care most about? She stopped pacing. If desperate… Harry probably would. And then it struck her, the conversation she’d been trying to remember, when he had told her that if he had it his way, only Fred and Draco would go with him. So was it all true then? Had this whole thing been a set up by Harry in an attempt to keep them safe? Those three boys had a secret for sure, why couldn’t it be that they intended to fight at Hogsmeade… but then, Dumbledore had cancelled the trip into the village.
She had to know for sure so she headed for the stairs to the boys’ rooms arguing with herself that she would talk to him, that’s all. Just talk. Just to make sure. Even if it were true that this had all been a lie, well, she’d be mad but…. Maybe she was just trying to find an excuse- because she loved him so much. Well, talking wouldn’t hurt her, and if she didn’t like what she heard, she’d just walk away.
She was halfway up the stairs before the pain hit forcing her to grab her head as she fell to the ground.
(BREAK)
Harry stumbled but managed to regain his balance. He reached up and touched his head, his fingers coming away bloody. He was tired and hurting, and his thoughts were swimming with memories of better times with Hermione and Ron, so much so that he could almost feel their presence. He shook his head trying to focus.
Bellatrix smirked. "You should have stayed home Potter, and let the adults play here. And it is playing. I could end your miserable life whenever I please."
"Then stop talking and do it!" Harry shouted. He threw another stunner at her, trying to knock her off her feet long enough to use a binding spell. She shielded just in time.
"Ooo, you’re getting quicker, Potter. I would love to just kill you now, but I have my orders. You are to be taken alive enough to talk. You and your two sniveling friends. Where are Ron and Hermione today?" She threw a spell so fast, he barely had time to dodge away. He landed hard on his shoulder.
"Sorry, you won’t be taking them. Just me." He got up and brushed himself off as he fired back a spell that knocked her off her feet. "That is if you can."
(BREAK)
The pain had only lasted a minute, but it had startled Ron so badly he had fallen out of bed. He touched his head, but there was no blood, just a phantom ache. "What the hell was that?"
"Shut up Ron!" Dean yelled from the other side of the room, throwing one of his pillows.
Figuring he just needed a drink of water to calm his nerves and get rid of all thoughts of the nightmare, he grabbed his robe and walked past Harry’s empty bed. Wait. Empty? Ron stopped for a minute, curious and strangely frightened for his friend. But then he shook his head and thought, what do I care, and went to get his water.
He almost tripped over Hermione while trying to walk down the stairs. She was holding her head, in the same spot he had felt his pain. "Hey, are you alright?" He gently took her hand away, but she wasn’t bleeding either. "What happened?" he asked intently.
"I was coming up here to try and talk to Harry about something, but then all of a sudden I was blinded by this overwhelming pain. It’s gone now though."
"Harry’s not there." He helped her to her feet. "Why would you want to talk to him anyway?"
"Something is wrong here, Ron." She was beginning to worry, he could see it in her eyes. Truthfully, he felt the same way, but it didn’t matter. Harry was a changed man, now. Changed for the worse. "I need to get his invisibility cloak." She barreled past him into the room. Ron watched as she quietly dug though Harry’s trunk until she found the cloak. He followed her all the way down to the common room. "Are you coming?"
"Coming where?" He asked.
"To see Luna. If anyone would know what is going on, she would."
Ron wanted desperately to see Luna, but she had lied to him. Lied to him for Harry. She was always keeping secrets and after months of being together, he felt he knew less about her than when they had started. Hermione was looking at him impatiently. "Alright, but I hate this thing, it hurts my knees to bend so much." He said pulling the cloak over them.
(BREAK)
Draco opened his eyes slowly. He had no idea how long he had been passed out, but he had barely held off unconsciousness long enough to send Potter away. He looked down at his wasted arm and began applying pressure along its length. Discovering the numbness had spread to just above his elbow, he stared down at his useless limb in anger. The tattoo on his forearm seemed to mock him, as if proving he hadn’t been strong enough to have the honor of bearing it the first place. The Dark Mark, the Dark Lord, Death Eaters, he despised it all. And Potter, so naïve, so willing to believe and trust, he angered Draco as well. The idiot had believed him, and valiantly run back into battle. Knowing he now owed Harry Potter his life made him almost want to sit back and let the spell spread. Knowing he now felt even the slightest bit of admiration for Harry Potter, that made him almost want to turn his wand on himself and speed up the process.
But that wouldn’t solve anything, and it would certainly be too easy for his father. And the last thing he wanted was for Lucius to win in anything. Draco knew what he had to do, in order to save his life and stop the numbness from spreading. He first found a large bottle of fire whiskey. After a large gulp, he looked around, hoping he could find a knife big enough for the job.
(BREAK)
Luna was just coming out of the Ravenclaw entrance when Ron and Hermione walked up to her. Before either had made a sound she addressed them. "You two should go back to bed."
Ron threw off the cloak and stalked up to her. "Where are you going?"
"Somewhere that I shouldn’t be. But Harry and Draco need help and I have to go."
"Help with what?" Hermione felt herself panic.
"I promised." Luna said, taking out her wand and walking away.
"You’re planning to go to Hogsmeade aren’t you? The battle is today isn’t it?" Hermione asked.
"The battle is right now." Luna finally conceded. "I have to go."
Ron ran after her and grabbed her arm. "We’re going too. Come with us so we can get dressed." He began to pull her back to Gryffindor tower.
"I can’t Ron. Let go!" She tried to pull away, but Hermione grabbed her other arm. "If you two show up, then everything Harry did and sacrificed was for nothing!" Hermione stopped short... so it was true then...
"Well, we’re going. And we’ll wake Fred and Ginny too." Ron said through clenched teet