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Assuming the Position Belladonna Chapter 1 - What is and What May Be Kurt's eyes fixated on the woman entering the room. He sank low in his chair while he took another sip of his scotch and watched her begin to work the room. She was nothing special to look at. Her height of 5'8" was the only thing that was exceptionable for a woman. Her heavyset body turned no heads in the room besides his, especially not with so many fit women playing tennis outside the clubhouse in short white skirts that were flapping with each swing at the ball. Despite his interest in the sole woman in the room, Kurt did not want her, he wanted to be her. She seemed anonymous to everyone in the room, something he had not been in many years. Her life seemed restricted to the limited purposes of accomplishing only the menial task in front of her. She likely never dealt with the pressures Kurt had been experiencing day in and day out for years running his business. Those pressures were gone from him, however, at least for the time being. He had turned over his company to his vice president after deciding to retire. There was shock in the boardroom when he made the announcement, but he knew that he could no longer continue on the way he had. The decision to make the change was made all the easier by Kurt's knowledge that his accumulated wealth meant he never had to work a day again in his life, even if his successors managed to run the company into the ground. The stress of his work life had combined with the boredom with his personal life to make him look for any escape. The escape that always preoccupied him the most was the dream of being a woman. He would give anything to be one, but it was not as if he could create a legal identity out of thin air. He needed an accomplice if he was going to ever have a shot. It was not as if there was a line of women banging down his door wanting to be men, however, even if it was a man as rich as he was. Kurt wondered if a woman like the one tidying up the clubhouse would be willing to indulge his fantasy. He saw no ring on her finger, and he figured that she likely lived alone. She seemed to have no prospects. From the few times he heard her speak, he knew that she was likely born in Eastern Europe, but he had never engaged her to find out where exactly. She was the same height as him and her head, hands and feet were all similar in size to his. Only their weight, facial features, hair and primary sexual characteristics seemed to distinguish them to Kurt. He knew that could all be changed with enough money though. Kurt took another sip of his drink. The cleaner seemed emotionless as she toiled around the room, without drawing notice from anyone besides him. She appeared to miss his glance though. If there was ever a girl he could almost become, Kurt was sure that he was staring right at her. While being a cleaning lady at his country club was not the ideal position, Kurt knew that it would do if he could get her to go along with it, no matter how ridiculous the idea struck her. His privileges had grown boring to him anyway. Kurt figured that a temporary change of position would be just the thing to rejuvenate him. As Loda exited the room, Kurt's mind became preoccupied by memories of his last therapy session. He took a sip of his drink and leaned back in his chair as he thought it over once more. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2 - What Was "What does that even mean?" Kurt asked his therapist. "It means just what it seems to, Kurt." "I need a complete break from myself?" "You're too wound up." "Isn't that just running away from my problems?" "No. You're turning away from your problems. There's a difference." "It just sounds so strange and, like, semantics." "Kurt, you've tried to medication, but then you said it made you tired and fat. You tried to decrease your workload, but you couldn't bring yourself to follow through with it. You need to cut the ropes that are tethering you to what's clearly making you miserable." Kurt sighed and said, "I'll think about it." "I need you to do this. You need to get away from all this pressure." "It's hard to turn away from what you spent your whole life building," Kurt replied as he thought about a lease that was being negotiated at one of his buildings while he was at another therapy session in an effort to deal with the variety of personal problems that made him struggle to get through each day. "Kurt, I know that I've asked you this before, but what do you do to relieve stress?" The therapist inquired. Kurt gave the therapist a blank look while he replied, "Like I've told you before, I work." "That seems to be killing you," the therapist said before began to stroke his chin and added, "So what do you do to relax?" "I don't do anything," Kurt replied. "Did you ever do anything to relax?" "Sure." "Like what?" "Vacations, drinks with friends, the typical stuff." "You don't do these things anymore?" "I do." "But..." "But what?" "Are they are working?" "What do you think?" "Based on what you're telling me, I'm going to go with no." "You're right." "So, was there ever anything else you used to do?" "No." "You told me that you used to engage in some role-playing in bed." "Yes," Kurt replied blushing a little at his admission from several sessions earlier. "And you said that you enjoy when your girls takes the lead, almost as if it's just a welcome change of pace." "It's fun not to be burdened with all the power now and again." "Is that the only role-playing you've ever participated in?" "Yes," Kurt lied after a pause. "I'm not talking about just sexual role-playing; I'm talking about all role-playing." "No. Nothing like that." "Have you ever had any relationships with women that lasted more than a night?" "Of course." "How many?" "A couple of short ones." "With who?" "Girls from school, girls who were friends of friends' girlfriends, typical stuff." "Do you remember the first girl you had sexual feelings for?" "No. It was probably some actress." "How about the first person you actually knew?" "Sure." "Can you tell me about her?" "She was a pretty girl. She was a couple years older than me." "Did you ever tell her about your feelings?" "No, but she knew." "How?" "She liked me back." "So, you acted on your feelings?" "Yes." "And what did others think?" "We didn't tell anybody about it." "Why not?" "We knew it wasn't appropriate." "Were you molested?" "No. Nothing like that. It was consensual," Kurt said with a laugh. "But she was older?" "Yes." "And you were younger?" "Obviously!" "Did she have any power over you?" "No." "How did you know her?" "She worked for my mom." "In what capacity?" "She was our cleaning lady." "And your mom never realized that there was something going on between you two?" "No." "Any reason?" "She was working. The cleaning lady came by during the week. When I was on vacation from school, she was coming by two, sometimes three times a week." "And she took a shine to you?" "Yes." "What did she like about you?" "What's not to like?" Kurt asked with a laugh "It's just unusual is all. Plenty of pretty women have teenage boys leering at them, but they don't act on it." "I tried to impress her."' "How?" "I showed off how strong I was, that sort of thing." "What did she do?" "She laughed," Kurt blushed as he admitted. "So, did you try anything else?" "I'm not a quitter," Kurt answered with a smirk. "What did you do?" "I tried to make her job easier." "By doing what?" "Helping her out while she worked." "What did you do?" "I assisted her while she worked. Whatever she needed, she got. Whatever time was saved, she spent with me." "Did you take the lead?" "Never. I was too intimidated by her." "You were intimidated by your cleaning lady?" "Well, when you've only got one option, and you're horny, well, you'll do just about anything." "Including?" "Stupid things." "Such as?" "Helping her scrub the floor, vacuum, scrub a toilet..." "So, you were essentially her assistant." "At first." "Then, what?" "Sometimes she played the boss." "She played your boss? You said you didn't role-play." "I didn't think of it as role-playing." "You felt that she was really your boss?" "Sometimes." "And you were her what? Butler?" "I wish...," Kurt replied before trailing off. "But?" "But what?" "You said you wish and just trailed off. What were you to her?" "This stays between us?" "It's my obligation." "I was...her maid," Kurt replied, unable to meet his therapist's gaze. "Were you in uniform?" "I was in her uniform." "And her?" "Usually naked and scolding me." "And did this do anything to turn you on?" "I've got a pretty naked girl standing right in front of me, what do you think? I'd pretty much do anything to keep that up at that point." "And you enjoyed it?" "Sure." "And when did it end?" "Shortly after I went away to college. She graduated from college around that time and got a job." "I'm hoping that it was not around children." "No, it was in marketing." "Have you seen her since?" "We met by chance a few years after I started my company." "Was it an awkward encounter?" "Like you couldn't believe," Kurt answered with a laugh. "And did you see her again?" "No. I was in a relationship that I thought had some potential, so I made damn sure not use her company." "Did she still turn you on?" "She was still cute." "Not as cute as your girlfriend." "Not even close by that point." "Then, what was her threat?" "Exposing me." "That would have exposed her much worse." "I know." "Then, was there something else?" "I still loved the idea of being beneath her." "Was this something you engaged in with others?" "There were some clumsy attempts, but they didn't pan out. The girl would look at me like I had two heads, and I just play it off. Sometimes, they'd get weirded out by the whole thing and just walk away from the relationship." "How about by yourself?" "Yes," Kurt admitted after a pause. "And how did it make you feel?" "At ease." "Why?" "It was just doing the simple things. There wasn't much pressure. Just get the job done right." "Have you done it lately?" "Sure on two or three occasions when my cleaning lady was on vacation." "How recently?" "Not in several years." "And you've never told anyone about it?" "How could I?" "It might be good to let others hear the full story." "About Maria?" "That was your cleaning lady's name?" "Yes." "I think it's these secrets that are wearing down on you. You've got the pressure from the outside pressing you and the secrets on the inside pressing you, it's simply a matter of time before all that pressure breaks you." "Something's are best left in the past," Kurt replied before he exited the therapy session and paid his fee. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 3 - Propositions The sound of the bartender's voice asking him if he wanted another drink broke Kurt's stupor. He shook his head and thanked the man before leaving a tip of the table. After placing his drink down and letting his erection subside, Kurt got up and headed into the locker room to change. Once he finished getting dressed, Kurt locked his golf shoes and bag in his locker before he stepped out of the room. As he stepped out into the hallway, he caught a glimpse of the cleaning lady he had watched earlier that afternoon pushing a cart into the linen closet. Kurt's trembling legs were carrying him towards her while his better judgment advised him to stop in his tracks. Still, he kept on going as his heart started to race, as he thought, 'Am I really going to do this?' Seeing that she was alone, Kurt's pulse quickened as he approached the woman and said, "Say, haven't I seen you before?" "Of course, Mr. Vernon," the woman replied, taken aback by the fact that he was addressing her. "How did you know my name?" Kurt asked. "We're required to know all the members names, Mr. Vernon," Loda replied while she put away a towel. "Oh," Kurt responded before realizing that despite the countless times he had seen her that he had never learned her name. "Do you have a name?" Kurt asked. 'Not to you people', Loda thought while she shook her head before she replied, "It's Loda, Mr. Vernon." "That's a pretty name." "It means cares of the people." Kurt nodded before he asked, "So how long have been here?" "Ten years, now." "Ten years?" "Yes, you've been here the whole time," Loda responded. "So, you must really like what you do." "Do I really like cleaning up after people?" Loda asked with a confused smile. "Sure." "No. I can't say that I do." "Then, why do you do it?" Kurt asked before immediately wanting to take back his words, realizing the insensitivity of his statement. "You take the work you can get," Loda answered. "Right, but at least you're good at it," Kurt responded, trying to makeup for his tactless words with praise. "No, I am not," Loda replied with a laugh. "What do you mean? Why do you think the club keeps you around?" "Because the WASP's don't want a bunch Mexicans inside the building. They keep them outside," Loda replied, half-joking. Kurt nodded while he looked her over from head to toe again. She gave him a strange glance before she asked, "Can I help you with anything?" "You work five days a week, right?" Kurt asked as his hands started to feel clammy. "Yes, I work everyday the club is open," Loda replied while she put away another towel. "So, what do you do the other two days?" Loda wanted to ask why he was asking, but she restrained herself as she answered, "I've done odd jobs from time to time." "Do you have anything going on now?" "Not really." "Would you be interested in coming to work for me two days a week?" "What, as your cleaner?" "Sort of," Kurt answered with a nervous tone. Loda squinted at him for a moment, almost recognizing a look of lust in his eyes that confused her. 'What could he want with me?' Loda thought thinking back to the women she had seen on his arm over the years before she replied, "What exactly would you expect of me?" "Can I trust to keep a secret?" "You don't even know me," Loda replied. "Can you keep a secret, then?" "Yes." "Especially, if I paid you quite nicely to keep it." Loda's eyes widened as she wondered if he was going to proposition like a whore. "Okay," she replied slowly. Kurt struggled to get himself to whisper the words, "I want you to teach me." "What was that?" Loda responded, sure she had misheard his whispered, muddled words. "I want you to teach me." "Teach you what?" "How to be....you," Kurt answered. Loda stared at him in silence while she clutched a clean white towel in her hands. 'This keeps getting weirder', she thought. Kurt squirmed as they remained silent before he said, "I'll pay you a thousand dollars a day to do it for a year." 'A thousand dollars a day?' Loda thought as her eyebrows raised, positive he was putting her on. "I'm so sure, Mr. Vernon," Loda replied. "No, I'm serious," Kurt responded. The determined look in Kurt's eyes made Loda realize that there might be some truth to his words. "Why would you want that?" "I've got a kink." "A kink?" "Everyone's got one. Mine is just service." "Service? If you want to serve, why don't you volunteer at a food kitchen?" "No. I mean a servant's service." "So, you could be a butler. I'd bet you'd make be a good Mr. Belvedere." "I prefer to serve women not ex-catchers," Kurt retorted. "I thought women are catchers, at least biologically," Loda replied, giving Kurt an awkward stare. "But I feel women like you should be served." "By?" Loda asked. "Men like me." "Now, that's the strangest statement I've heard, Mr. Vernon." "I would imagine so," Kurt replied blushing. Loda smirked at his response as she put another towel away before she said, "So, you're really going to pay me two thousand dollars for two days of work just to teach you how to be me so you can serve me?" Kurt realized how absurd it sounded, but he replied, "Yes." "Well, the first thing you should know about being me, is that's more than I get for working here for a weeks work." "I figured as much, but I need to pay a premium." "Why?" "Confidentiality." "So, two grand for two days?" "Yes, unless you want you to move in, then I'll make it a thousand a day or seven grand a week." "I'd have to quit my job then." "Oh, no. I don't want you to do that." "You have to know I'm not all that useful after a hard day of work." "I'll take care of you. Don't worry about it." Kurt's words stunned Loda before she asked in a whisper, "Are you going to serve me?" "If you'd let me. I don't want to make you feel weird or anything." 'Too late', Loda replied before shaking her head and replying, "It would be a change of pace to be served for once." "That's what I need." "What?" "A change of pace." "To serve instead of being served?" "Exactly," Kurt replied. 'This boy has gone crazy', Loda thought before she replied, "So, you're going to pay me money to teach you how to be me and serve me?" "Yes," Kurt answered with some hesitation. "Where do I sign up?" Loda asked with a laugh. "There's just one other thing...." "I'm sure there is. There's always a catch," Loda replied, waiting for the sexual proposition she was sure was going to follow. "I want to be you." Loda took a step away from the cart and looked at him with her mouth agape. 'What does this freak want?' Loda wondered, beginning to question if she should call for help. She knew that if she said anything, and he denied it, though, that she would likely be fired on the spot. Loda took a deep breath before she replied with a nervous laugh, "You can't be me." "Why not?" "Because I'm me," she retorted before realizing that she had to be more deferential to Kurt as a member. "Well, what if you could not be you for a while?" "I guess that would be nice, but it's not going to happen." "Why not?" "You can't stop being yourself." "Maybe not forever, but how about if you could take a vacation for yourself." "What is this, a Seinfeld episode?" "No. What I'm proposing is very real." "As opposed to just really real?" Kurt was surprised by her sprightly retort. He laughed a little as he said, "I know this all sound crazy..." "No, this sort of thing happens to me all the time. Everyday, actually," Loda interjected with a smile. Before Kurt could reply, Loda continued, "Men come up to me and say why can't I be you." "Do they?" Kurt asked, wondering if she was being serious. Loda struggled not to glare at Kurt before she replied, "No, they just want to hump me." "Really?" Kurt inquired before sucking his lips into his mouth. He sensed how peeved Loda was from his response before she responded, "Yes, I could have my pick of the dishwashers." Kurt laughed before he replied, "They come onto you?" "Mexican men are just like black men. They see a big white ass in a skirt and come chasing after it." "So, you have a boyfriend?" Kurt asked, unable to hide his disappointment. "No. I keep my hands off them." Kurt felt relieved before he asked, "What if you could better yourself?" "Better myself?" "You know. Get a break from all this and culture yourself, drop some weight, that sort of thing." "I'd lose my job." "What if I stepped in and took your place." "My uniforms would like a circus tent on you." "Well, if I filled out a little." "You'd have to fill out a lot!" "I could do it with some padding," Kurt replied, ignoring Loda's peeved tone. "How about the face? You don't think that would be a give away." "There's surgery for that." Kurt's quick response stunned Loda as she thought, 'He's really given this thought!' She took a deep breath as Kurt put away a towel for her before she asked, "So, if you're me, who am I?" "Whoever you want to be." "Whoever I want to be?" "Yes." "And how long is this going to go on for?" "I was thinking a year from start to finish. You'll train me for a few months, then you'll go away for a few months, and I'll take your place. Then, you can come back be my mistress for a little bit, and we'll swap back." "Woo...woo...woo...what do you mean swap?" "I...uh...um..." "I don't want to be a guy, even if you're rich. You said Mistress before. I could do that, as long I'm not hooker or anything." "No. There's no sex involved. You can be a lady. I'll make you elegant. I promise." "But what if you make me, elegant, as you say, and I don't want to swap back. What if I don't want to be a fat cleaner again? Then, what?" "You're getting a $365,000 dollars under the table, plus all your expenses for a year. You can start a new life with that kind of money, far away." "That would be a dream," Loda said as she thought it over. "What do you say?" 'You're crazy', Loda thought before she decided to play along with his delusions given the money he was holding over her head. After a pause, she answered, "I'll take the deal, if you're serious." Kurt shook her hand and told her to come to his home after her shift ended that evening. Loda nodded as she took down his address and agreed to meet him after work. Kurt then turned and headed for the door. He went into the dinning room and had dinner at the club before returning home to await Loda's arrival. Loda had second thoughts about going through with her agreement while she drove to Kurt's home, unsure of what he would do to her when she got there. He seemed non-threatening and just offbeat. She wondered if the stress of his life had simply caught up with him. Loda walked up to Kurt's door and knocked upon it. Kurt almost fell over as he sprung to his feet and hurried towards the door. Drawing it open, Kurt greeted Loda warmly as he let her in. Loda smiled in response before she looked around the inside of his large mansion. 'Holy Shit', Loda thought, amazed by the trappings of Kurt's wealth. "What the hell are you doing with me?" Loda blurted out. Kurt blushed before he replied, "Sometimes you just get bored." Loda shook her head in disbelief over how a man of Kurt's means could ever get bored. Kurt then invited her into his living room and sat across from her. They started to talk before Kurt laid out his plan to transition into her for a year. Loda shook her head bemused by the whole thing; thinking that there was no way that his lofty expectations could be met. The money, however, was too much for her to turn down, so she was not about to back out of the deal. After talking for a few minutes, Kurt made arrangements for her belongings to be brought to his house. As Loda looked around it, she knew that there were far worse places for her to spend her time. Kurt noticed her looking around and said, "Just think, you're going to be the lady of the house soon enough." Loda gave him a curious look as Kurt felt excited merely from speaking the words. "But I've got to train my maid first," Loda countered after a few moments of silence as smile came upon her face. Kurt gave her an eager nod before Loda asked, "I have to know where this is coming from though?" "Where what is coming from?" "This whole desire to be me? Let me be frank, I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but there are a hell of lot better women out there to be than me." "There was something that happened." "What?" "I've been over it with my psychiatrist. He almost told me I should live it out." "What?" Loda repeated, disbelieving his claim. "When I was a teenager, I had an affair with my parents' cleaning lady." 'That explains a lot', Loda thought before her thought process took a sudden turn as she asked, "How old were you?" "Fourteen." "Fourteen!" Loda shrieked. "It was consensual," Kurt hurried to explain. Loda clutched her head as she thought, 'No wonder you're so screwed up!' Reading her horrified expression, Kurt added, "There was nothing sordid. I just served her and was her maid. It was cool at the time." Loda felt more than a slight amount of pity for Kurt. She felt that his experiences had horribly confused him and left him glamorizing a position that was anything but glamorous. "You're the first person, other than my therapist, I've ever told that to," Kurt then admitted, feeling as if a load had been removed from his shoulders. Loda only nodded in response, slightly shaken by his admission. Kurt then smiled as he asked, "So, do you want to get to work?" "To work?" Loda asked, steadying herself. "Well, you're off tomorrow and Tuesday, so I think it's a good idea to get a primer for what I'm going to learn." "Have you ever cleaned before?" "Sure, but I'm an amateur," Kurt admitted. "Okay, there's little tricks to the trade, but this isn't rocket science." 'That's what I'm counting on', Kurt thought, wanting to preoccupy his mind with simple things for once. Loda paused before she asked, "Are you going to be wearing a dress for this?" Kurt could sense the unease in her voice when she asked. Kurt shook his head and replied, "No. I'm going to stay in male maid mode for the time being." "A masculine maid, I suppose there are crazier things," Loda retorted before she got to her feet. Kurt followed Loda out of the room as she asked where he kept his cleaning supplies. Kurt showed her where he stored them before she took hold of a mop. She handed it to him while she continued searching through the supply closet before she pulled out a broom. "Give me the mop back, dear," Loda said while she held the broom out towards Kurt. Kurt nodded and smiled at her friendly tone as they exchanged instruments of cleaning. As Kurt clutched the handle of the soft bristled broom in his hand, Loda noted, "Your first lesson is cleaning your hardwood floors. You're going to find that while they look nice, they're a pain in the ass for people like us." 'People like us', Kurt thought with a smile as Loda lumped them together. Loda looked at Kurt before she said, "We're going to start with sweeping the floor." "You're not going to mop the floor?" Kurt asked, slightly confused as he tried to mimic her tone and accent. Loda smiled at his clumsy attempt while she replied, "No. You're going to mop the floor, but you're going to do it right. Before we mop, we always sweep." "Why?" "Because it gets up the big dirt from the ground first. It helps get the job done right. We don't cut corners, do we?" "No," Kurt replied, sure that his former cleaner had in fact cut corners for years as he processed Loda's justification for his unanticipated labors. "That's right," Loda reinforced. "Should I get started?" "No! Cleaners are just paid to stand around and look pretty," Loda rejoined. Kurt felt slightly intimidated by her remark before he began to sweep the floor under Loda's scrutinizing gaze. Loda shook her head at Kurt as he started to sweep. "What?" Kurt asked. "You just started where you were standing." "So?" "There's no rhyme or reason to it. Where do you start, where do you end?" "What should I have done?" "Either start from one side and work your way towards the other, or clean along the walls and work your way towards the middle of the floor from all sides," Loda explained. Kurt nodded as he moved towards the wall and began sweeping again. Loda shook her head again and said, "You don't have the right form." "I don't have the right form for sweeping?" Kurt asked, exasperated that there could be such a thing. "Let me show you," Loda said while she guided his body with her hands. She moved his feet a shoulder width apart and moved his right hand up towards the top of the broom handle. The scent of Loda's cheap perfume filled Kurt's nose as her arms wrapped around him to move his left hand down the broom handle towards his waist. As her arms continued around Kurt's waist, she pressed the broom to the floor and started to sweep it. "See how the broom does not bend. That's the trick. If the broom bends, you might scratch the floor, but if you don't put enough pressure, you won't pick up the dirt." Kurt nodded and thanked Loda while his member swelled as Loda's chubby arms continued to press against his side with each short stroke they made with the broom. The smile on Kurt's face left as Loda stepped away from him and let him sweep the floors. After Kurt finished emptying the last dustpan full of dirt into the garbage, Loda returned to the cleaning supply closet and removed the wood cleaner before she called Kurt over. Kurt followed Loda's directions as he diluted the cleaner with a bucket of distilled water. As Kurt went to start to mop the floor, Loda said, "Take off your shoes, dear?"' "Won't my feet get wet?" "That's why you stand on the dry parts while you mop the floor," Loda countered. Kurt nodded as he removed his shoes, sure that Loda would assume that the black, opaque tights he was wearing were socks. Loda's eyes widened when she caught a glimpse them as she smiled and thought, 'He probably thinks he can pass those off as socks.' Kurt put his shoes away before he took hold of the mop and dipped into the cleaner before he wrung it out and pressed it against the floor. In short strokes, Kurt wiped the floor going along with the grain of the wood, as Loda instructed, before pausing to dip and wring out the mop again. Kurt refilled the bucket multiple times as he cleaned the various wood floors of the rooms, while Loda walked behind him, inventorying each spot that seemed less than perfect. As Kurt finished with his mopping, Loda handed him a cloth rag and said, "Follow me and bring your mop." Kurt nodded as he took hold of the mop, rag and bucket before he followed her into the dinning room. Loda pointed to a stain on the floor and told him to hand scrub it. Kurt's member surged as he heard her order. He got to his knees and dipped the cloth in the bucket before he began to scrub the floor. Loda smiled as she saw the legs of Kurt's pants riding up on him, exposing more of his tights. Her eyes drifted up to his midsection as the top of his tights and the waistband of the blue panties beneath them could be seen while he pressed his hands hard against the floor. She shook her head and thought, 'If only all men were so compliant. Maybe all mothers should keep their boys in skirts.' Once Kurt finished scrubbing the spot, Loda bent from her waist and looked it over. She approved Kurt's work before she had Kurt mop up the excess water from the spot and made him repeat the process more than a dozen times on other spots throughout the first floor of the home. After Kurt finished spot cleaning the floor, Loda made him go over the floor once more with a clean mop to ensure that no cleaning residue was left on the floor. Loda noticed that Kurt looked exhausted as he put away the cleaning supplies. She recognized the look that had been on her face countless times before as she said, "I think it's probably time for you to hit the sheets." "What about you?" "Me?" "Yes, do you want to stay the night?" "I thought that was the plan." "Sure. Sure. Let me show you to your room," Kurt replied before he led her up the staircase. Loda smiled at the large guest room that she recognized was approximately half the size of her entire apartment. She nodded and said with a grin, "This is acceptable, for now." Kurt nodded as he left her alone and went to his own bedroom. It took Kurt only a few minutes to fall asleep. The next morning, Loda's belongings were brought over to the home. Loda shook her head at the speed that things were moving, prompting Kurt to reply, "It's amazing how quickly people jump when you pay them a premium." "Like me," Loda noted. Kurt nodded before they waited for the movers to leave the home. Once they did, Kurt went up to Loda's room and unpacked her belongings for her while she watched daytime television. After Loda was unpacked, Kurt returned to cleaning the home under Loda's tutelage. Every attempt at dusting, vacuuming, mopping, scouring, scrubbing and polishing by Kurt was examined and critiqued by Loda. Kurt responded appreciatively, careful to continue to try to mimic her voice as he responded. "That really doesn't sound right from a boy," Loda found herself noting after one exchange. "Well, we're trying to change that," Kurt retorted. Loda nodded before Kurt went back to polishing a bronze statute. They then took a break for lunch. Kurt made Loda a low calorie lunch, while he ate a high calorie lunch to help keep his energy for his further labors that day. Kurt continued working throughout the day under Loda's watchful eye and did the same the following day. As Tuesday evening came, Loda gave Kurt instructions for what to do the next day while she was at work. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4 - A Door Opens Kurt waited for Loda to leave for her shift at the country club before he pushed himself out of bed the next morning. Kurt got to his feet and showered and ate before he went back into his bedroom to look at the various outfits that he had. Kurt knew that he was not going for style points, so he picked the cheapest housedress out of his closet and paired it with a pair of black tights and black, faux leather, slip on flats. Kurt put on a pair of panties before he unrolled the tights up his freshly shaven legs and pulled them up to his waist. After putting on his bra and padding it out, Kurt slipped on the multi- colored, knee length housedress and pulled it down over his body. As his head poked through the collar of the dress, he began to adjust it over his false bust before he tied his hair back in a mid-high ponytail. Kurt placed on a small amount of makeup on his face, trying to look understated and not draw attention, even though he knew that there would be no one's attention to draw while he spent his day cleaning his home in solitude. Finishing with his makeup, Kurt placed on his flats before he took hold of a turquoise colored apron decorated with white polka dots from his dresser drawer and pulled the ties around his back. As Kurt finished tying the apron, he headed out of his bedroom and went down to the kitchen. After a quick breakfast, Kurt decided to clean the kitchen. Kurt started by cleaning out the fridge. He placed all the items from the fridge on the counter and threw out what was expired. Following the written instructions Loda had left for him, Kurt mixed baking soda and water. He dipped his sponge into the mixture and wiped down all the glass surfaces of each drawer and shelf in the refrigerator. After wiping the solution away with a cloth, he towel dried the fridge before he put everything back away in it. Kurt then followed the same steps with the freezer before moving over toward the stove. Kurt removed the burners and washed each by hand with warm water and soap. He then wiped the stove down while he left the burners to dry. As Kurt wiped down the burner control knobs and the vent hood, he felt every bit the cleaner he was dressed as. His manhood swelled as he leaned over the stove again and wiped it one last time before he reassembled the burners on top of it and opened the oven. Kurt bent from his waist, feeling the skirt of his dress rising up his nylon covered legs as he took hold of the grates. He then scoured the grates before placing them down to dry. Kurt clasped his oven cleaner and a rag and got down on his knees in front of the oven. He felt strangely at ease as he began to wipe down the inside of his oven and back of the oven door on his knees. As he closed the door to the oven he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the dark glass of the front of the stove. Kurt smiled at the feminized, low definition reflection of the womanish figure with a bobbing ponytail behind her head. Kurt admired his reflection as he interlocked his yellow glove covered fingers together. He bit his lip and thought, 'I look just like a cleaner.' As he got to his feet to clean the cabinets, Kurt was disappointed that he could not pull of his swap with Loda yet. He knew that there was still a long time to pass before he could do so, no matter how quickly he wanted things to go. Once Kurt finished cleaning out his cabinets, as well as wiping them down and putting the supplies back, he turned his attention to wiping down the front of the cabinets with a wet rag before drying them with a towel. Kurt then wiped down his countertops and cleaning the basin and fixtures of his sink. After cleaning his microwave, toaster and coffee maker, Kurt swept up the floor. As he brushed the bristles of the broom against the broom, Kurt felt more like a cleaner than he had before. He wondered if his work would be up to Loda's standards before he went and retrieved his mop and bucket. Kurt mopped the kitchen floor before he dumped out the bucket and took out the trash. As Kurt stepped out of the back door of his home with the trash bag in his hands, he froze. "Oh, shit," Kurt said, as he realized that he had stepped outside en femme for the first time in his life. Kurt's eyes darted from side to side before he turned his head and looked around and saw no one in sight. There was no home within several hundred feet of his and Kurt let out a sigh of relief as he remembered how remote his home was. "Now, if there are just no helicopters or low flying planes, I should be fine," Kurt said with a laugh as he put his trash into the garbage can before hurrying back inside. Kurt felt a rush from being outside en femme for the first time before he made himself lunch. He sat down in the kitchen while he ate, feeling out of place. "I've got to get myself a table in the supply room," Kurt thought as he figured he would feel more comfortable eating there while dressed as a cleaner. Once Kurt finished with his lunch, he spent most of his afternoon, dusting and vacuuming the bedrooms and tidying up the bathrooms attached to each bedroom. After finishing his cleaning for the day, Kurt turned his attention to making dinner for himself and Loda. He made the dinner as quickly as he could since he wanted to change back into his male clothing before Loda returned. After he finished making dinner, Kurt went up to his master bathroom. He disrobed and showered. After dressing in his normal clothes, Kurt felt relieved that she had not seen him that day, as he did not want her to see his feminized self before he undertook the changes he wanted to make so that he would look more believable in his desired role. Kurt then relaxed on the couch with a glass of wine. A few minutes later, Kurt heard Loda's car pulling into the garage. He got to his feet and greeted her as she walked in. Loda smiled as she saw the drink in Kurt's hand and asked, "I hope you poured for two." "Yes, I've got a glass for you on the table." "You made dinner?" Loda asked with a grin. "I sure did." "I'm thinking I like this new you," Loda said with a grin still on her face while she looked over his beaming face. As she walked through the home, she noticed how clean everything was. She ran her finger along a countertop and turned to Kurt and said, "I don't think this house has ever been this clean." "It's all about being meticulous," Kurt countered. Loda shook her head. She then said with a laugh, "I can't believe you almost make a better cleaner than me." "Well, you never clean someone else's place the way you do your own." "Why not? I'm getting paid!" "So, how was your day?" Kurt asked, wanting to change the subject. Loda was surprised to hear that Kurt actually wanted to hear how her day was. No one before him really seemed to care what she did. She smiled at her beaming benefactor as she explained the various details of her day working at the club. She noticed that he actually paid attention to what she said as she spoke. 'This is a nice change of pace. He should've told me years ago', Loda thought with a smile while she thought about the first time she had seen Kurt at the club before they made their way into the dinning room. Loda was surprised to see Kurt take the initiative and serve her food. They ate beside each other as Loda kept telling him about her day. As she finished, Loda said, "So, why don't you tell me about yours?" Kurt blushed as he said, "I didn't do anything special." "So, this meal just made itself?" "Well, I made the meal and tidied up the place today, but that's really the whole lot of it." "And yet you seem happy." Kurt nodded. Loda noticed Kurt's stress free appearance during dinner. It was far different from the nervous, fumbling man who had first suggested an unusual arrangement to her. She decided to see how far she could push things as she went to leave him to clean up after dinner. "I'm not getting any help?" Kurt asked "I hate doing the dishes. What do you think I have a maid for?" Loda answered with a grin and a wink. Kurt's member twitched at her comments before he cleaned up the dishes and joined her in the living room. After a few hours, they each turned into to bed. The rest of the week followed the same routine, Kurt got out of bed and got changed into a dress and apron and ate breakfast before he began to scurry around the home, cleaning it from top to bottom. He paused only for lunch and changed back into men's clothing once the evening approached and he finished making dinner. As the weekend came, Kurt took to his normal routine. He attended functions on Saturday with business associates before going to a banquet that evening. Kurt felt bored as he listened to the stories he had heard countless times before and wondered how Loda was doing as she worked at the club. He knew that he would likely see her there the next day and wondered how they would react to one another outside of the home, where the expectations of each were inverted. On Sunday morning, Kurt awoke and got ready for a morning round of golf at the country club. He drove there and had his car valet parked. Kurt then met up with the rest of his foursome as they went to hit the links. The normal banter with his fellow club members felt strained to Kurt. Their questions about his sudden retirement irritated him as he struggled to come up with excuses for stepping down so suddenly. He knew that they did not believe him, figuring that they likely thought that he was under investigation for something and had quit as a preemptive strike. The comments turned personal as one of the members asked, "What's with the beer belly?" Kurt stared down at his stomach that was pushing out against his polo shirt far more than usual. Kurt knew that he had gained ten pounds since the last time he had played with the group. He also was aware, however, that they had no way to tell that it was intentionally gained. Kurt shook his head as he replied, "I've got a new cook at home." "A lady?" One asked with a snicker. "Yup," Kurt replied, thinking of his feminized self. "Are you plowing her on the side?" "You could say that," Kurt replied. "You really got to stop fucking the help," one retorted. "What can I say, I'm a pussy hound," Kurt responded, playing off his carefully, calculated reputation. "I'll say you dirty dog," one noted while the group laughed at Kurt's response. After finishing their round, the foursome made their way to the clubhouse while their clubs were cleaned and packed away by the club's staff. As they sat down in the bar area and took their drinks, Kurt noticed Loda walking into the room. She gave him a small smile, but she did not approach him, careful to mind the expectations of her by the club. As she dusted the tables behind the bar, Kurt's eyes wandered away from the chattering trio he was with and over to her. He feared that they would catch his eyes or that she would say something that would give away their unusual arrangement. Kurt knew that his fears of her outing him, however, were unfounded. She would never speak a word, not with the money he was paying her, but the small amount of doubt made his heart race. Still, those worries were secondary to the fantasies he had while he watched her, dreaming that he was there, dusting the tabletops while standing in her shoes with his back hunched beneath the light grey, collared dress that was vertically stripped with narrow white lines. Loda seemed to be everything he wanted to be in that room and so far removed from the mistress she played at home. Kurt had to restrain himself from standing up and ripping the duster out of her hand to take to the task for himself, knowing that the club would never let her lounge around while he did her work. Loda noticed Kurt's eyes watching her, but she did not say anything. She felt the longing in his eyes that still confused her, but it drove her to conclude that he needed to embrace his submission to femininity even further. After spending two more days under Loda's tutelage, she went back to work at the club and Kurt took to his routine. After Loda left the home, he got out of bed and put on a pair of lacy black panties and black sheer hosiery before he put on his black, lace bra and stuffed it. Once he finished with his undergarments, Kurt slipped a long sleeved, grey, cotton/spandex jersey dress over his head before he put on slight amount of makeup. After finishing with his makeup, Kurt tied his hair up into a ponytail before he retrieved a white apron from his dresser drawer. He then placed the strap around his neck, tied the apron's ties behind his back and headed for his closet to retrieve his shoes. Placing on his black ballet flats, Kurt looked into the dressing mirror behind him and gazed at his reflection. He felt that the woman looking back at him did not belong in such a large room. He knew that if she was there, however, she should get to her duties. Kurt started by picking up the clothing from the bedroom floor. He moved about collecting the various articles and stuffing them into his hamper before he took hold of it and carried it out of the room. Kurt hurried down the curved steps of the servant's staircase with the hamper in his hands before he reached the basement. After putting the clothing into the washing machine and turning it on, Kurt carried the hamper back up to the bedroom. Kurt placed the hamper down before he walked out of the bedroom and headed back to the servant's staircase to go down to the main floor. He then walked into the supply closet in the home and retrieved his scrub brush and bleach and other cleaners before he headed for the main upstairs bathroom. Surveying the bathroom for a minute, Kurt looked around it to formulate his plan to make the room spotless. While the bathroom had seen little used before, Loda had claimed it as her own since she had moved into one of the guest rooms, despite the fact that a smaller bathroom was part of her bedroom. Knowing that, Kurt wanted to impress her by making sure her bathroom was up to the highest standard of cleanliness. Nodding to himself, Kurt stepped into the bathroom and placed his cleaning supplies down on the vanity before he removed the trashcan. He emptied the container into the larger trash container in the kitchen before placing it down in the hall outside the bathroom. Stepping back into the bathroom, Kurt removed the small table that rested beside the toilet and carried it into the hallway before he placed on his yellow rubber gloves. He then took hold of his bleach and poured it into the toilet bowl. The smell turned Kurt's nose, but he knew that his cleaning ladies had always used it to give his bowls a through cleaning over the years. Kurt placed his brush in the toilet, leaving the handle perched on the rim of the toilet as Loda had taught him to do to sanitize the brush. Turning away from the toilet to let it soak, Kurt took hold of his duster and began to run the dust into the corners where the ceiling met the wall. He brushed away the dust on the walls from top to bottom pushing it down to the marble floor beneath his feet. Placing the duster down on the sink, Kurt grabbed his cleaner and began to spray the tiled portions of his walls. After taking hold of his sponge, Kurt began to scrub the tiles he sprayed. He repeated the process dozens of times while he made his way around the ten by twenty five foot room that struck him as even more unnecessarily large than normal now that he was the one tasked with keeping it clean. Finishing with the walls surrounding the shower, Kurt stepped into the shower basin and sprayed the shower walls before he scrubbed them too. The repetitive process was tiring to his arm muscles, but he as he noticed the visible results of his labors, he felt a sense of accomplishment that often eluded him in his day-to-day efforts at his company. After finishing with the walls, Kurt sprayed the showerhead and faucet before he began to scrub them. Kurt then rinsed them with hot water and shinned them with a paper towel before he cleaned the glass wall and door to the shower and stepped back out of it. Kurt threw away the dirtied paper towels in his hands before he stepped into the bathroom again and began to scrub the counter area. He paused several times to wring out his sponge while he worked before he took hold of a hold toothbrush to clean the tiny spaces between the marble vanity and the handles and the tap. Kurt wiped down the wood front and sides of the cabinet of the vanity with hot, soapy water before he took hold of his Windex and turned his attention to the mirror. Kurt sprayed the mirror with the cleaner before he rubbed it in and then sprayed it again with a bottle containing water and a small amount of vinegar that Loda had made up for him. The shine of the mirror impressed Kurt. Smiling, he figured that the mixture that Loda had created for him was responsible for the extra shine that he could not remember his mirrors having when his cleaning ladies had completed the task. Kurt then put away the cleaner before he started towards the toilet. Kneeling before the bowl, Kurt felt humbled as the cool, dust covered marble floor pressed against his pantyhose covered knees. His member surged while he took a new cloth towel and soaked it in disinfectant cleaner and wiped the flush handle before wiping down the outside of the bowl. Kurt scrubbed the sides and undersides of the bowl prior to scrubbing the seat and lid. Kurt placed his cloth down on the floor before he began scour the toilet with his scrub brush. Finishing, Kurt flushed the toilet as he reached for another bottle of cleaner. Once the water stopped running Kurt sprayed the cleaner into the bowl, careful to cover the entire inside edge of the rim. As the cleaner began to run down the rest of the bowl, Kurt stood up, knowing that he had to let it soak, given Loda's directions. Kurt stepped out of the bathroom for a moment and took hold of a broom and a dustpan. Kurt reentered the bathroom and began to sweep the dust and dirt on the floor from the shower stall over to the door before he scooped it up and tossed into the trashcan in the hall. Kurt then added hot water and soap to his bucket before he began to mop the floor. Once Kurt finished, he rung out his mop and washed away the soapy water from the bucket in the kitchen before he added warm water to the bucket and returned to the bathroom. Kurt went over the marble floor with the mop with the warm, clean water to clean away any soapy residue that may have been left on the floor during his first passes on the floor with the mop. As the floor dried, Kurt moved towards the bowl and took hold of his toilet bowl brush again and began to scrub the toilet again. He paused and let the toilet soak a little longer after his initial scrubbing. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he looked down into the toilet and could make out his distorted reflection in the cloudy water. The figure looking back at him struck him as unambiguously a woman given the lack of clarity of the reflection. 'If only', Kurt thought of appearing to be unquestionably a woman while he began to daydream about the end result of his transition. Shaking those dreams away, Kurt scrubbed the toilet one final time before he flushed it. Finishing up in the bathroom, Kurt put away the cleaning supplies downstairs before he took hold of the vacuum cleaner. He vacuumed the floors of the first floor throughout the rest of the morning. As the midday hours came, Kurt began to vacuum the stairs. The sound of the machine drowned out the opening of the front door that he had his back to. Loda stared at Kurt, struggling to maintain her emotions. His legs struck as more her effeminate than ever, peeking out from beneath the hem of his maid's dress. His padded out body, appeared softer and more curvaceous than she ever imagined it could. As Kurt descended to the base on the steps, he turned off the vacuum and sensed a silent presence. Kurt started to shake as he turned and faced Loda. His eyes widened before he breathed a sigh of relief that someone had not broken into the home. His heart kept pounding, however, while he waited for Loda to say something as he stood before her en femme for the first time. "How are you doing?" Loda asked, breaking the silence. "Well," Kurt said. "You're looking well," Loda replied. "You too." "Aren't you going to offer to make your mistress lunch?" Loda asked with a half smile. "Of course, dear...I'm mean...whatever." "No worries," Loda replied while she followed Kurt into the kitchen. Loda sat down at the table in the kitchen and watched as Kurt prepared a lunch for her. She thumbed through the newspaper on his countertop while she waited, pausing to look up and smile at his quiet efforts. As Kurt brought her over the meal, Loda thought, 'This is a whole other person.' "I hope you like it," Kurt said with a nervous grin. "I'm sure I'll love it," Loda said before she took a bite and praised his efforts. Loda examined the way Kurt seemed to embrace her praise of his simple labors. She smiled as she said, "I almost can't believe this you." "What is me?" "This. You're really something else, umm...what should I call you?" "Whatever you like?" "How about bitch?" Kurt blushed before Loda laughed and said, "So, not bitch." "No, not bitch," Kurt responded with his equally accented tone. "Fair enough. How about Maid bitch?" "No," Kurt replied with a smile. Loda laughed as she inquired, "So, what do you call yourself then?" "Kurt." "Don't lie to me, girlie." "Loda," Kurt replied. "You're calling yourself by my name already? I think you've got one hundreds pounds to go before you can carry it." Kurt blushed before he replied, "How about Anna then?" "Wouldn't have guessed that one with fifty tries." "I just like the name is all," Kurt replied, blushing. "Okay, Anna. I'll see you later," Loda said as she got to her feet. "Well, I think I'll be gone by the time you come back." "No. I want you to stick around. I have some things that I need to discuss with my darling little maid." "Understood." "Good, girl," Loda said before she picked up her purse and headed out the door. Kurt watched as she left his home. He felt relieved that his appearance en femme had not been poorly received by the girl as he went to return to vacuuming the stairs. That evening, Loda returned home and greeted Kurt warmly. Kurt took her coat and hung it up before he followed her into the dinning room and served her dinner. "So, what did you want to speak about, Loda?" Loda smiled as she said, "Loda is a little too casual for my maid to call me." "You told me not to call you Ma'am," Kurt reminded her. "No. I told Kurt not call me Ma'am. Really, no man should ever call a woman, Ma'am." Kurt's manhood began to surge against the nylon that was helping to compress it between his legs. He stuttered before he asked, "What would you like me to call you?" "Either Madam or Miss Vernon would do just nicely," Loda replied. Kurt nodded as he realized she was taking his last name before asking, "So, Madam..." "I had a normal day at work, but coming home for lunch and seeing you like this, really made this the prefect day." Loda responded, not waiting for Kurt to finish his question. "Really." "Yes, I'm off to the start of my greatest week ever, and it's all because of you." "Me? Why?" "I was able to put a lot of things out of my mind and just focus on my job for once. I always thought about my well-being and keeping my job, but, given your little financial incentives, that isn't something I really have to worry about anymore. All I have to focus on is doing my job, or well, your future job, now." "I'm glad to hear that." "Thank you." "There's no need to thank me. I'm very happy for you." "And are you happy?" "I'm happy." "Could you be happier, Anna?" "No. I think I'm good." "Do you have enough to fill your day though?" Kurt sighed as he said, "No. This home isn't big enough to consume every minute of my day." "I think you need to go back to work then." "That's the plan, eventually," Kurt replied as his member surged as thoughts of tidying up the clubhouse while his fellow club members were on the back nine filled his mind. Loda could sense a trace of unease in Kurt's voice. She backtracked as she said, "Or another job to take up some of your time." "But when would I get a chance to work around here?" "Anna, you could also stay Anna on the weekends for me, and, especially, in the evenings." "Do you have any idea about what I should do?" "Do whatever make you happy?" "Even if I'm seen like this?" "Why not?" Kurt squealed as he thanked Loda and moved across the table to kiss her. Loda backed away and said, "No." Kurt gave her a startled look before she said, "I'm not attracted to women, Anna. You should know that." Kurt nodded, almost wanting to shout that he was not a woman. Given how he was dressed, however, Kurt understood that he was close enough to prevent Loda's arousal. Loda smiled as she saw the disappointed look on Kurt's face and said, "Don't be like that, Anna. If I came in here with a beard, hairy legs and a mastectomy would you be all over me?" Kurt shook his head. "That's what I thought," Loda said before she finished eating and got up, leaving Kurt to clean up after her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5 - Another Door Closes With his fears of being seen en femme by Loda gone, Kurt abandoned his male mode completely. He decided that the best way to transition to Loda was to first become Anna all the time. Kurt cut himself off from the outside world. He stopped going to the club. He never even ventured outside his door for weeks. Loda was the only person he spoke to after the decision to be Anna was made. Shopping was the only chore that Loda attended to in the home. She bought food and changes of clothes for Kurt as his expanding waistline eventually began to keep him from fitting into his old dresses. Kurt mimicked Loda's every step and word while he cleaned and served her. The longer he stayed behind the doors to the home, the more he came to view her as his world. She was his only connection to the greater world, as well as his living inspiration and goal. While managing to stay somewhat aloof from Kurt, Loda doted on him, praising his improving cleaning skills, while he progressed onto being her lady's maid as well. Every part of her life within the home was attended to by Kurt, which excited her more than she ever imagined it would. Loda taught Kurt how to style her hair, as well as how to do her pedicures and manicures. After tidying up after dinner each night, Kurt visited Loda in the living room and rubbed her feet while she sipped on the cocktail he made for her. As he rubbed her feet, Loda regaled him with stories from the club. Kurt listened carefully each time she noted a club member discussing his sudden disappearance. Kurt smiled at the thought of what the stuffed shirts would think if they knew that he had foregone rounds of golf to serve at the foot of one of the club's cleaners. 'They'd think I'd gone crazy', Kurt thought with a smile as he massaged one of Loda's bunions before a sudden thought crept into his mind, 'Have I?' ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 6 - Kurt - The Exit Interview I can't believe they make you go through an exit interview. I get the pre-op consultations beforehand, but it's not like they can magically undo everything now. "Ms. Collins is ready to see you, now." Oh, great. That's just wonderful. "Thanks." "Anna, how are you feeling?" "First off, you can start by calling me, Loda." "Okay. Loda, how are you?" "Never better." "No buyer's remorse?" "None," Kurt answered as he crossed his arms over his augmented bust. "Really?" 'What do I have to say to get out of here? I get it. You think I'm crazy, but you still did what I paid you to do. Now, leave me alone.' "Certainly." "You have no reservations about what you're going back to." 'Of course I do. I'm trying to impersonate someone else. What do you think I'm carefree?' "No reservations," Kurt lied. "Would you change anything, Loda?" "When I look in the mirror, I can't see anything left I'd change." "What do you see in the mirror?" "Loda." "But what do you think the real Loda will think?" "That I'm crazy." "Do you think you're crazy?" "I know I'm crazy." "That's not what you told us earlier." "I told you what you needed to hear. I'm not certifiable. I know what I'm doing. I know it's crazy to want what I want, but the I want what I want, and I get it," Kurt replied, as his old confidence from the workplace reasserted itself, despite his carefully accented tone that had become second nature. "Were you nervous about any of this?" "Of course." "What in particular?" "Getting on a plane." "Getting on a plane? That's what got to you about all this?" 'That seemed to get a rise out of her!' "Well, it was not just getting on a plane. I hadn't left my home in months. The last time I stepped out my door, I was a lot thinner and looked a lot different." "Did anyone give you a second look?" "Not until I got to the airport. When they look at your license and they see this thin guy when you're standing in front of them looking like a chubber, it's kind of hard for them to not look at you sideways." "They thought it was odd that you gained so much weight?" "There was that, and there was this voice. I tried to speak like I used to, but I heard the accent and the tone. It was way too high and heavily accented for a guy named Kurt Vernon." "So, what did you do?" "I tried to say as little as possible until I got here." "Do you feel more confident now?" "Certainly." "You're more confident as a woman?" "I'm more confident as this woman, than a fat man, yes." "Does that sound strange to say?" "It may sound strange to you." "Do you even recognize yourself?" "Sure." "You can tell who you are?" "Yes, Loda." "What about who you were when you came here?" "That's what I