Anthea s baby 1
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The Abattoir free porn video
It was about a week before my 13th birthday. Having come home from work
unexpectedly, the Ogre---who was what passed for a masculine role model
in my life---had decided to take one final stab at "making a man out of
me" before writing me off forever as a hopeless little bitch...
"What the hell you cryin' for? You're a boy, nothing's gonna change
that! What's that you're coverin' with your hand, huh? You think
putting on a damn dress changes anything? Do you? Answer me, goddamn
it!"
I stood there shivering, feeling horribly vulnerable. I was sobbing,
trying to nod my head yes and shake it no at the same time.
"For God's sake Sam, that's enough! Let him get dressed."
"No, I want him to say it first! What are you?"
"I'm a boy," I blubbered.
"That's a start. Now put some damn trousers on and come with me..."
In a drizzle of slushy snow I was marched across the yard to the shed,
where I was forced to take part in a grotesque and humiliating ritual
of destruction. This was the heart of darkness...
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
THE ABATTOIR
(a Jackie Kaiser story)
by Laika Pupkino
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FROM HUMBLE ORIGINS, AND FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE PLANET KAPOK THEY
ROSE AND GAINED INFLUENCE TO BECOME THE TEN MEMBERS OF THE GLOBAL
PARLIMENT. THE COUNCIL OF TEN RULED WITH WISDOM AND KINDNESS, UPHOLDING
THE RIGHTS OF ALL THE CITIZENS OF KAPOK; REGARDLESS OF THE COLOR OF THE
FABRIC THAT COVERED THEM, WHAT SORT OF STUFFING THEY WERE FILLED WITH
OR WHICH REAL OR IMAGINARY SPECIES THEY HAD BEEN DESIGNED TO RESEMBLE.
THIS WAS THE GOLDEN AGE...
BUT WHEN THE RUTHLESS PURPLE PAISLEY ALLIGATOR GENERAL VOLARI AND HIS
GANG OF RENEGADE BEANIE BABIES UNLEASHED THE DREADED JUNTA VIRUS AND
SIEZED POWER, THE COUNCIL HAD TO FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES, TAKING OFF IN
SEARCH OF A FABLED WORLD WHERE A TOY ANIMAL COULD SUPPOSEDLY CHANGE
FORM AT WILL. ON MORFOLO PRIME THEY WOULD GROW THEMSELVES INTO BEASTS
SO FORMIDABLE THAT THEY COULD RETURN HOME AND EASILY ROUTE THE EVIL
TOYS, RESTORING DEMOCRACY AND FREEDOM TO THEIR PLANET.
BUT THEN THEIR SPACESHIP RAN INTO A GRAVITY STORM AND THEY CRASHED ON A
HOSTILE WORLD OF FLESH & BLOOD CREATURES, WHERE FOR SOME STRANGE REASON
THEIR ABILITY TO MOVE ON THEIR OWN BECAME EXTREMELY LIMITED, AND IT DID
NOT SEEM THEY WOULD SURVIVE FOR LONG. FORTUNATELY THEY WERE BEFRIENDED
AND BROUGHT HOME BY JACKIE, A LONELY EARTH CHILD WITH A TERRIBLE
SECRET. YES, THAT SECRET.... THE VISITORS DWELLED IN TENTATIVE SAFETY
ON TOP OF YOUNG JACKIE'S BED, THEIR SHIP HIDDEN OUT THERE IN THE HALL
CLOSET, CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A VACUUM CLEANER; AWAITING THE DAY WHEN
THEY'D OBTAIN THE PART THEY NEEDED FOR IT. BUT HOW WOULD THEY EVER FIND
A POSITRONIC FLUX CAPACITOR IN THIS PRIMITIVE CORNER OF THE GALAXY?!
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
When I was about eight we had moved out of the little town of
Hellebore, out to where the Badlands started.
Doesn't it seem like the very name "Badlands" would tell you something
about a place? That maybe it was somewhere you wouldn't want to live?
And while some parts of what is called the Badlands are actually kind
of scenic, our little valley would never be appearing in any tourism
brochures or travel magazines. Even back when I had so little to
compare it to it seemed like the worst place in the world to me. Still
does, in fact.
But our hundred acres of ugly was the largest parcel of land we could
have bought with the chunk of money Grandpa Gerhardt had left us. And
it had a tiny brook and a smattering of small game on it, which would
be useful when the total collapse of civilization came. Or some such
malarky...
But mostly I think my folks were just glad that we would be twelve
miles from the nearest neighbors instead of twelve feet. That our weird
and quarrelsome family would no longer be the topic of trailer park
gossip.
Our school's bus driver would drive clear down Savoy Creek Road in the
morning to pick up just one kid, me. But once or twice a month he
either got warned by the dispatcher not to make the trip, or if my sick
routine took me a bit longer to pull off, he would be waved on from the
front steps of our single wide. And it was a crappy narrow dirt road
that he had to drive (which in Spring and Fall would turn to trecherous
sucking mud), but old Gunner never seemed to mind terribly when this
happened. He'd just smile and wave and turn his bus around, like he did
on that day...
I did sort of have the sniffles, but it wasn't anything that I would
even consider missing work for nowadays. In fact it probably wasn't
even bad enough that it would keep me from going out dancing. And come
to think of it I actually had been dancing on that day---skating around
on the kitchen floor in my socks to some ABBA song---when the Ogre
walked in on us unexpectedly.
Oh, the Ogre? I'm not sure just how long before this I'd come up with
the names "the Saint" and "the Ogre", but I know they'd been part of my
private vocabulary for a while by then. And it was nothing I would ever
say aloud to either my mom or my stepdad; just a pair of images I had
in my head, taken from the only two hardbound books we had in the
house- an ancient 1904 edition of GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES, full of gruesome
woodcuts; and from 1959: THE LIVES OF THE SAINTS ILLUSTRATED, in which
the saints---especially the lady ones---were portrayed as these
beautiful ethereal creatures with glowing complexions and plump red
lips, their eyes beaming out godliness, purity and compassion.
My real father had been killed when I was two, stalling his car out on
the Interstate during a bad snowstorm and getting plowed into by a
semi. In the one photograph I have of him he's holding me up against
his chest like a bag of groceries with a huge smile on his face. He
looks gentle and kind. My stepdad entered the scene before my fourth
birthday, and all I can figure is that the dynamics of power in our
family must've changed radically soon after that; going from what I
imagine had been a reasonably democratic household to..... well what we
had now.
The new head of our household was never shy about finding fault with
me, and as the years passed was becoming even more vocal about what a
disappointment I was. When the other rock rats down at Thorensen's
Quarry were bragging about their son's achievements in Pee Wee Football
or the Junior Rodeo League, what boasts could Sam Kaiser make about me?
That I was unbeatable in double-dutch jump rope? That my water color
entitled 'THREE VERY CUTE PUPPIES!!' had taken second prize at the
statewide CYO art fair? Hardly.
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
It was 10 a.m. and we were baking Pfeffernussers. The kitchen was nice
and toasty---the warmest part of the house---and full of the sweet
spicy scent of the cookies plumping in the oven. I was wearing what had
become "my" apron- the powder blue one with a dazzling starburst of
wildflowers on it. On a day as cold and dreary as this, when a sheet of
gray clouds hung over the mucky landscape like some sort of industrial
roofing, it reminded me that somewhere in the world such exuberant
colors actually existed.
I had this on over a black t-shirt that had belonged to an uncle of
mine, who visited us between his stints at the prison work camp. Uncle
Dean was 6'7" and skinny as a rail, and on me his shirt came clear down
to my knobby knees. And after I ran it under our ancient Singer sewing
machine, neatening up the edges where he'd ripped the sleeves off, it
sort of looked like a dress on me.
Whenever I had the house to myself for a few hours I would comb my hair
down my forehead into bogus little bangs, and try to cover my ears with
the bit I had on the sides, and accessorize my "little black dress"
with my single pair of clip-on earrings and other items from my tiny
stash of crummy costume jewelry, and maybe a pretty scarf around the
middle to give it some shape, and then would cavort in front of the
mirror, quite happy with how convincing I looked (Although in
retrospect it seems unlikely that I actually did. In all my photos from
back then I was a funny looking, jug-eared boy with a nose that seemed
to change its mind about what shape it wanted to be halfway down; And
the not-terribly-unattractive face I have today is..... let's just say
I've had some work done.)
And when I knew I had at least a half a day to devote to this
clandestine pastime I would risk putting on my mascara, eye shadow,
blusher and lipstick. I'd lucked into these cosmetics when one of my
stepfather's lady friends had somehow left them in our bathroom, and
he'd thrown them out lest Mom discover them (I'd been warned that there
would be grave consequences to her ever finding out about these
clandestine encounters...). The coral lipstick was getting close to the
bottom of its tube and I wondered how the heck I was going to replace
it.
But on days like today I had to content myself with being a female
mostly just in my mind, in my plausibly-deniable pretend dress and this
apron; as I secretly imagined myself to be a normal adolescent girl,
being tutored in the domestic arts in the way that young women have
been in every culture throughout the ages. And I liked to think that my
secret dream was not actually so secret. That we were both engaged in
some covert fantasy of being mother and daughter.
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By now we'd accumulated quite a few dirty dishes. I grabbed the big
mixing bowl and started toward the sink with it.
"No need to wash that, Jackie. We'll be using it for the next batch in
about ten minutes."
"We're making more? Great! Can I bring a few to Sherrie and Janine at
school tomorrow?"
"Of course, Pumpkin. I don't know Janine that well, but I sure like
that Sherrie. She's sweet, and you two always have so much fun
together. And- No don't bother sweeping that. I have to do the whole
floor later. No, really. My GOD where'd you learn to be so neat? You
sure didn't get it from yer messy ol' Mama- Wreeeeee, wreeeeee, g-r-
rrrunt! Snoooork! Oink, oink!"
I'd been taking a sip of my cocoa when I started laughing and I barely
managed to avoid spitting it everywhere! It felt so nice to simply be
able to laugh, without any fear of it triggering some hateful sneered
comment about how I "giggle like a goddamn girl"...
I couldn't help thinking how wonderful it would be if things could stay
like they were right now. With just the two of us, and without the
tension that always began to build as quitting time down at the quarry
approached, and we each silently wondered exactly who would come
walking in through that door an hour later- the grinning jokester who
might scoop me up for a piggy back ride; or the caustic resentful
maniac, cursing and bellowing and stumbling into things? Although in
the last year or so we hadn't seen very much of the former.
And while I knew it was a terrible sin to wish someone dead, I did
allow myself to hope that that next adventure in wacky sidewalk driving
might result in an actual jail sentence instead of just another ride
home from our overly-indulgent town sheriff.
But six p.m. was still a long ways off, and life---right here, right
now---was good.
"I know what we need in here. What would you say to some music, Kiddo?"
"If you want," I shrugged. "But the radio around here isn't so great
most of the time..."
"Ain't that the truth! Seems like every station you turn to there's
some nutty old guy on there foaming at the mouth about something or
other he doesn't like. But I didn't mean the radio. We might not have
the stereo anymore but I do have my kitchen CD player."
"Really?" I asked. I hadn't seen the bulbous little yellow boom box
around in ages.
And out it came from under the sink, wrapped in a heavy greenish brown
trash bag. "I kind of keep it hid, so this one doesn't end up in the
pawn shop too. Bernadette down at Hair Apparent burned me a disk of the
New York production of MAMA MIA ON ICE. How does that sound?"
"You mean like the movie?" I asked.
"I guess it's the same, except it's on ice instead of on a Greek
island. It has all the same Abba songs."
"Kew-ell!" I grinned.
I'd absolutely loved MAMA MIA, even though we hadn't watched it under
the most ideal circumstances. We'd rented the dvd at the little grocery
store in town, but when it opened with the young bride-to-be and her
two girlfriends carrying on so giddily, and then a minute later this
movie revealled itself to be "a fucking musical", SOMEBODY had started
carrying on like a drunken four year old, grousing about how stupid it
was and telling grostesquely unfunny jokes about the characters and
their large and overworked pussies (for some reason this had included
Pierce Brosnan!), and had kept this up clear through the closing
credits---insulting the location scouts and the foley artist and all
the animals they had sex with---in a determined effort to keep us from
enjoying the film either.
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
The timer dinged and we pulled the hot baking sheet full of
Pfeffernussers out of the oven and laid it on the drainboard. Slid the
second batch in to bake.
While the ice opera's female lead sang a haunting, sparse solo version
of "I Have A Dream" we stood gazing out the gingham-curtained kitchen
window at that flat ceiling of clouds, stretching off across the miles
to fuse with the horizon...
"I wish it would snow," I said.
"You hoping for a no-school day tomorrow?"
"No," I hurriedly clarified, "I just meant the valley looks nice when
there's snow on it. It makes everything look.... clean or something."
"It isn't too early at all for our first snow of the year. So you might
just get your wish. And you're right, it is pretty here after it
snows."
I knew I couldn't try to stay home like this very often, or these
"colds" and "stomach aches" of mine would start to be evaluated far
more critically. The trick was to act morose and listless until classes
were well underway; that point at which---since we were currently a one
vehicle household---getting me to school for just part of the day
wouldn't seem worth the hassle. And then my miraculous recovery!
So after waving Gunner the bus driver on past us at 7:08 I went back to
bed for a few hours. I slept some---which sort of surprised me---but
most of that time I spent hanging out with the ten stuffed animals that
lived up at the head of my bed, and who were always happy to scoot over
for me when I needed in.
They were my dear friends, my adopted offspring, each with a detailed
story about his or her origins and how they came to be living here on
Earth with me. Sometimes my little plushie pals talked all night and
kept me up, but they were a garrulous bunch and I couldn't begrudge
them that. I loved them all. Although, for a bunch seasoned politicians
and interstellar travellers they could be quite infantile. To avoid
jealousies between them I methodically rotated which would get to sleep
cuddled in my arms at night...
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
"Will it hurt?" I asked.
Roscoe thought a moment, and answered, "It doesn't hurt us when we use
it, and I don't think it will hurt you. But there really isn't any
choice. The only way to get you inside our spaceship The Electrolux is
to use the shrink ray on you."
"Then I guess we'll find out. And you really think you can find this
Planet Morpheus?"
"Yes, we had it on our long range sensors when we ran into that gravity
storm."
"And I would be able to change myself into a girl when we get there?"
"No, not a girl like Janine or Sherrie. The magic of Morfolo Prime is
TOY magic. You'll become a toy. But you can be any kind of girl toy you
want. I suggest a cute girl chimpanzee. Maybe in a nice lime green
velveteen. Chimps are the most splendid animals in creation."
"No offense," I said to the little red bespectacled ape, "but I don't
think so..."
"Maybe you're right. Green isn't really your color."
"Uh, I meant about being a chimp."
"Humpff! Well I suppose it is your choice. How about a lady hippo? Like
those pink hippos in the tutus we saw at that Disney Store in Fargo?"
[It disturbed me slightly when my little friends reminded me that they
knew what I'd been doing and seeing even when I was clear across the
state line, and referred to my consciousness and theirs with a
collective "we". But only slightly. I trusted them in the most secret
parts of my mind...]
"Hee hee!" I giggled, "Those were pretty funny.... But I was thinking
of something more like a human girl. Could I be a doll maybe?"
"Great Bonzo's Ghost! Do you mean those horrible, uncuddly hard plastic
things that can only move a little bit where their parts come together?
Why in the deuces would you want to be one of those?"
" I meant a stuffed doll. Like you are, but a doll."
"Well we do have some baby dolls like that on Kapok."
"No, not a baby. I'd want to be able to go out and play, and do stuff.
But like a..."
"A Raggedy Ann doll, perhaps?"
"Well sure, if there isn't another kind."
"Hmmmmm, I could see that. I'm sure you'll make a very pretty doll."
"Really?" I asked casually, trying not to let on how starved I was for
this type of praise.
"The prettiest. After all the help you've given us, the Council and I
will make sure of it! We can swing by the Mall of the Universe and pick
up some catalogues for ideas..."
That concluded, all we needed now was that darn part for the spaceship.
And after a few quick hops through hyperspace I could begin my new
life. It would be weird being a toy, with nothing but polyester fiber
where my insides were now, but all the other inhabitants of that crazy-
quilt planet would be stuffed toys too, so I'd fit right in. And what
was really important was that I would at least be a girl of some sort.
Someone who would be treated like a girl, and who nobody would look at
disgustedly or make hateful comments to just for being who she was...
Unless General Volari escaped from the Prison Moon of Orwan. And if he
did, well we'd sure take care of him!
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
Yes, I was almost thirteen and I was still talking to my toys. Or I did
whenever there was no one else around.
I was at that conflicted age; wanting the simple games and innocent
pleasures of girlhood while at the same time casting a covetous eye at
the mature bodies and confident lives of adult woman. And yet being a
male I knew I would ultimately be allowed neither.
With the ever more vehement threats to haul these damned "babyish" toys
of mine off to the dump with our next load, I basically knew that
Roscoe and Bunny's, Scotty and Snorky's, Candy the Unicorn and Baby
G.'s, Mr. Peanut's, Angel Bird's, Teddy and Teddy Too's days were
numbered. But what I didn't know was at this point that number was less
than one.
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
At a couple of minutes before ten that morning it seemed like it would
be safe to head out into the living room and watch a little television,
if I didn't act too energetic.
Leaving my room, my eyes fell on the secret hiding space that only I
knew about, with my little cache of girl's things. I wondered when I
would get the house to myself again. Maybe on Saturday they'd go to the
swap meet at the Big Sky Drive In clear over in Suttcliff and-
Damn it, the swap meet was closed for the year! Oh well, there would be
something. Eventually.
I had no idea why I loved to wear this stuff. Sometimes I would just
get all dressed up and then sit and read ("Yep, I'm a girl and I'm
reading this book"). It sure didn't seem to have anything do with those
pictures I'd stumbled across on the internet that time, those men in
ladies' underwear all tied up like that! But I did know that this was
such a shameful things for a boy to want to do that I didn't dare bring
it up, ever. Not even when I went to confession.
And yet for a compulsion that was no doubt putting my immortal soul in
peril, somehow it just felt so right!
//////////\\\\\\\\\////////\\\\\\\//////\\\\\////\\\//\
"CHIQUITITA TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG? YOU'RE ENCHAINED BY YOUR OWN SORROW.
IN YOUR EYES, THERE IS NO HOPE FOR TOMORROW-"
I guess we did have the music up pretty loud. I was dancing, did not
hear our truck pulling in. When the back door opened I froze in mid-
step, knowing we were seriously busted.
"Hey Frannie. Any of that beer left?"
"E-E-EEEP!!! Oh you startled me! Where'd you come from? Uh, I'm sure
there's some in there. Whatever's left in that twelve pack."
Mckenna
- 22.10.2022
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