DRABBLES- A Baker's Dozen free porn video

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////////////////////////////////////////////////////// DRABBLES: A BAKER'S DOZEN Laika Pupkino ////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #1 ////////// GHOST DICK Three months after her SRS, Michelle awoke before dawn to see a glowing apparition above the foot of her bed.. It was a dick.... A GHOST dick! It spoke in that warbling voice all ghosts use: "Mi-i-ichael! I'm the ghost of your maaanhooood! Yoooooou muuuuuuuuurdered meeeeeeeee!" A well-aimed book hit the florescent dildo, snapping the string it hung from "I know you're down there, Phyllis!" A woman in pajamas stood up Michelle sighed, "Oh Honey..... I know you hated my transitioning, and don't understand that I HAD to. But can't we discuss this in the morning? Like grown-ups? PLEASE?!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #2 ////////// MY SHAMEFUL SECRET I took the plunge today and wore it. Under my clothes. Slid it on in the bathroom, where Janet wouldn't see Driving across town to work was a delicious thrill. Nobody could tell about my secret In the breakroom Bev and Miriam---who always acted like they found me somewhat creepy---were chatting me up. Like my secret helped me connect with them. Just us girls The boss walked by. I should've known. He has a nose for these things He recoiled, "Good God, Hendricksen! Are you wearing WOMEN'S deodorant?!" My fetish is expanding. Now I have a pink slip.. #3 ////////// A CHILD'S LETTER TO SANTA DEAR SANTA CLAUSE, I KNOW YOU ARE A MILLION YEARS OLD AND HAVE TO GO ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT TO GIVE EVERYBODY PRESENTS. AND I KNOW SOMETIMES OLD PEOPLE DON'T HEAR GOOD, LIKE MY GRANMA WHO HAS A HERRING AID, AND MAYBE YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE WITH THE POLER ICE MELTING AND EVERYTHING BUT I REALLY WISH YOU LISTNED BETTER WHEN I SAT ON YOUR LAP AT MACIES AND TOLD YOU WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS I SAID I WANTED A COCKATOO! NOT A COCK OR TWO! SINCERLY, MARCIA GREENBLATT (THE GIRL WITH TWO DICKS) /////////////////////// ////////////////////// #4 ////////// THE DEADPAN DETECTIVES IN: THE CASE OF THE CATALEPTIC KATOYS The fiend was taken away in handcuffs, ranting. A doctor was called in "Will they be okay, Doc?" "Hard to tell. Toxicology isn't my specialty. Why would somebody do this? Takes all kinds, I guess." Friday glared at him. "No it doesn't. Not this kind..." The abandoned furniture store was a ghastly spectacle. Apparently the Thai transsexuals were lured to America with promises of employment. They'd been put in strange positions and paralyzed with curare to form chairs, sofas, ottomans. A hundred eyeballs stared in helpless terror "Well now I've seen everything." "What's that, Joe?" "A Lady Boy Furniture Showroom..." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #5 ////////// THE LIMITS OF ACCEPTANCE "Mom? I have something to tell you..." "Goodness, this sounds serious. Let's sit down here. What is it, Honey?" "I'm...... I'm a Tr-" "You're Transgender? I knew dear. I was pretty sure anyway. You've always seemed more like a daughter. Your father and I were expecting this. We love you no matter what." "Ohhhh that's wonderful, Mom! I was working up the nerve to tell you someday." "But you just told me..." "That's not what I was gonna say though. It's...... something else." "You can say it. My brave girl!" "I'm...... a Trekkie." "Oh God!! Where did we go WRONG?!!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #6 ////////// GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS (for Julie O.) GOOD NEWS: You meet this Adonis at a bar BAD NEWS: He's from Romania GOOD: He speaks English perfectly BAD: He brags incessantly GOOD: You want him anyway BAD: You're not technically a woman yet GOOD: He says he has a thing for T-girls BAD: In the parking garage, the "thing" turns out to be a crowbar! He has restraints, surgical equipment GOOD: You're a witch, working for the Magical Justice Department You've been on this monster's trail for months. You easily subdue him BAD: Before his trial, he's extradited back to Bucharest GOOD: Romanian witch-justice is swift, and..... creative ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #7 ////////// SOMETHING QUITE ATROCIOUS.. My sister Shauntisha was incredulous, "You're sayin' Kelly, our building superintendant, wasn't always a guy?" "He was always a guy, he just be in th' wrong body." "Oh God, there you go with that shit again. You know what I'm sayin'. It's just.... I mean.... Kelly! Who woulda guessed?! And does he have a..... you know." "Penis? Sure does. It's not fully functional, but it look REAL, man!" "How on Earth did they do that?" "Made it from his toes." "His TOES????" I sang my response, "Our..... super Kelly's fake realistic sex be all his toes, Sis!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #8 ////////// THE MiSTERY WoMAN oF MYStARY (My attempt at penning the worst transender fiction ever written:) He said this elivater will took me to top of Eifful Tower and I say form here in Miniapellis?? Really??? and "Yes" he said so I did I took it and get out. He was there I dont now how he got here? I say this IS high up but not Effel TOWER high And he says no not Eiffal. It's names the "I Fall" tower Why? I ask? They say look over the egde and you'll see so I did and he push me Then I knew why as.. ,I ,F .A ,L ,L ,! .! .! Oh. And I was a man waring a dress //////////////////// /////////////////// #9 ////////// GENDER-FLUID I'd never heard the term "gender-fluid" until that day "So, what's the problem..... Mister..... Miss-" "You can't tell, can you Doctor?" "No." "That's the problem. Neither can I." "But which sex do you feel like?" "I don't." "A-HA!!" he exclaimed. Dug into my navel. Out popped a valve stem "JEE-SUS!!!" "Relax, everybody has one. But it should have a cap on it. Your genderfluid's leaked out." "My what?" "Lie back..." He put a funnel into the stem. Took what resembled a gallon of cheap blueberry punch from a cabinet "Um..... could I try that pink kind there?" ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #10 //////// THE QUEEROMETER NEVER LIES (Just a gay old drabble, circa 1998...) My new neighbor seemed nice enough, in a macho ignoramus kind of way. His cluttered apartment had porno mags scattered everywhere. He got us beers, turned on the television "That dude's a goddamn faggot." "That actor? You heard this?" "I just know. I always know." I saw one serious flaw in his claim, but just nodded "And him too!" "Gene Hackman? You sure?" "Positive. 'Cause whenever I see a homo, I get this.... reaction. Kinda like my grandma knowing it was gonna rain. Fuckin' queers are everywhere." "What kind of reaction?" "It's like....... my dick gets hard." //////////////////// //////////////////// Lightning McQueen turned his back on fame & glory to be with the woman he loved, but there was something she had been hesitant to tell him.. #11 /////////// BODY WORK (a brief tale of romance based on Pixar's CARS) "You quit racing to be with me, Lightning? Oh I should've told you. You'll hate me!" "Impossible!" "I haven't been honest. This is a new body." "Wrecks happen. But you're okay now." "No, a DIFFERENT body. I was---and my chassis is---Mustang." "Don't talk crazy, Sally. Mustangs are boy cars......... Oh." Lightning was disturbed. He'd rubbed tailpipes with this vehicle "But you're such a Porsche!" "I always was, inside. I hated being a muscle car." Lightning took a long drive. Returned "Well...... every relationship has its flaws to overcome." "So I'm 'flawed'?" "No, you're perfect. I meant mine." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #12 ////////// Some folks call it a Kaiser Bag. But I call it a.. SLING BAG (A t.g.tale based on Billy Bob Thorton's film Sling Blade, in five drabble-length chapters...) 1.) Well they let me outta there. I dint have hardly no money, and no place to stay, but i knowed one thing. After 8 years of them tellin me i had to dress like what they wanted, which was a boy, i needed some purtyin up Then I seen it. MIMI'S SALON.. I axed, you do hair stylin? Kin ya do mine? The gal sayed well whatcha want? Ya got this nice thick long hair I sayed i dunno, what's good? She sayed how 'bout a french braid? I sayed i like french braids She tole me have a seat. Uhuhn.. 2.) The gal put my head back, started warshin my hair. That felt nice. Jesus she sayed, what ya been warshin it with, lye? Well I dint like her takin Our Lord's name in vain, and almost went for my bag right there. But that's what got me inta trouble in the first place, so I dint. Sayed i been usin institution shampoo She like jumped. INSTITUTION?! Are you that fella caused a ruckus couple years back goin around smackin folks with a tote bag? I sayed it warnt a tote bag, it was a sling bag. And i aint a fella 3.) Well mimi---that was her name---she gets a phone call halfway through doin my braids. So i go ahead and finish 'em up Where'd ya learn to do that, she axed? I sayed i just watched you Then a lady come in for a poodle cut. Mimi whispers you watch what i'm doin here. Then says lady, my cousin Gigi gonna finish you up That lady looked scared of me but sayed okay. And I could see how it should go. Did her hair real nice, and she was happy And that's how I come to work for mimi 4.) So me and mimi was cuttin, warshin and stickin fingernails on gals and gabbin. Her gabbin, mostly. And then it was five a'clock Closin' up, mimi ax what i wanna be a woman for Well why you wanna be a woman, i axed She sayed 'cause i am one, silly I sayed well so am i Oh, mimi sayed. I think i heard of this. Anyway go home and be here nine sharp I stood, wonderin where to go She axed you aint got no home, do you? I sayed no And mimi sayed a bad word, but nice like 5.) We walked 2 blocks to mimi's house, her mutterin about how crazy this was, takin in some crazy transvegemite from the nuthouse Mimi axed you won't go psycho on me, willya? I sayed yer bein so good to me, I reckon not She showed me her garage. A mattress in there. Sayed sorry it ain't much I sayed nobody's tellin me what to wear, who i "really" am. I reckon it's perfect She axed you got somethin to sleep in? Yer a big, uh ...... girl, but so was my sister Katie. Here's her nightie I slept real good that night Uhuhn ////////////////////// ///////////////////// (These last 2 aren't transgender or even LGBT but I think they have pretty good punchlines:) ////////// THE RINGER The crowds cheered for Meredith as her team helped her out of the swimming pool and into her wheelchair As she wheeled herself toward the stand to receive her fourth consecutive gold medal it was announced that her wins had all been disqualified, and she was barred from competing Meredith was furious, "Just what the hell kind of nonsense are you pulling here?" "The Paralympics are for disabled people," said the angry official The legless swimmer crowed, "Hel-LOOOOO! Are you completely stupid? You see this wheelchair? I can't walk, never could. What am I then if not handicapped?" "A mermaid!" ///////////////////// ///////////////////// ////////// THE HELLFIRE KID TELLS HIS TALE Some boys dream of becomin' ship captains, others jungle explorers. Maybe a few dream of being lamplighters. But my judgment was polluted by penny dreadfuls and tales of the old Wild West. So when the Devil offered me my heart's desire for the price of something you couldn't see and that didn't weigh nothin', I told him to make me an unbeatable gunfighter I probably shouldn'ta said unbeatable. After killing my first hundred men it warn't much fun at all. Hell one time, just to see what would happen, I didn't even draw. Somehow the feller shot and killed hisself! I'm close to ninety now, and soon Old Scratch will be claimin' my soul. But no one can deny I was a legend in my day.. The Faustus Gun in the West

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The Business Trip - by: Dyanne My mind wandered as I packed for the trip. I was required to travel occasionally as part of my management responsibilities. This usually required about a week every three to four months and I found the freedom from the office boredom somewhat refreshing. Although I was considered a part of the corporate structure my relationship with managers at the outlying branches was very cordial and non-threatening. I was part of the old boy network in which we...

BJJones the Story of My LifeChapter 532

It was a long restless night; Lorrie was called twice from Morton to make special flights to get members of the OPS team. I was called once from the Doppler tower at AF479 at 2 AM, “Ma-am, we were told to call you with any activity. A small twin engine plane just landed at the airfield at La Jarita - we were ordered to watch it for you,” the caller said. “Thank you sir, appreciate the call very much,” I replied. I went back to the command center and looked at La Jarita with the State...

Lost To My Friend Karan

Hi all, I am here to share my experience with you all. I am Ritika Raj, 36-year-old working women. About my appearance I am fair, 5.2 ft tall weigh 55 kgs and my stats are 34C 30 36, I have shoulder length cut hair, black eyes. I am separated and live with my son. About my experience, I have had no prior sex life before marriage and sexual life with husband was more than average. After separation, I was left alone and had made up my mind not to marry again. I still was enjoying people...

BJJones the Story of My LifeChapter 530

My security team picked me up early today; we were still varying the times. I wondered when I would be able to stop this foolishness and had that discussion with Andy and the girls. I reluctantly agree to continue until the end of my term at the task force, four weeks and four days to go. It was good to be able to see all the day people in the office and have a normal conversation with them. I finally had time to talk with Cindy, Susie Q and Mark to see how they liked the Vice President...

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It’s the middle of winter, you bring you freezing cold butt into the house. A long distance relationship has caused this as a result.The one time you get to see her and it is super cold outside. You’re over at her place. No one else is at home but you and her. All her roommates have left. You both have just arrived here after she came to get you from the airport. All she does is talk nonstop. She’s such a chatterbox. Two hours in a closed cramped space in the flight and the freezing cold...

PropertySex Jada Kai You Are Too Good Looking

Chuck loves hanging out with his roommate Jada Kai. They play chess together, collect stamps, and cook. There’s only one problem, and it’s a big one: Jada is so hot that Chuck can’t stop thinking about fucking her, and it’s bringing his productivity down! He’s worried about losing his job. When Chuck spies Jada masturbating her shaved pussy through her bedroom door, he’s had enough. Walking into her room with a boner, he tells her he must move out, but Jada...

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The Exhilarating Experience With The Girl of My Dreams

Natalie Dukes was a twenty-one-year-old transgender woman. She was born a boy named Nathan, so when she was old enough, started to take injections to make her look more feminine and less masculine. A year and a half after taking injections, she noticed a huge difference. Her body became feminine and grew breasts. But kept her dick and balls.Natalie started college with a very hot chick named Tiffany with huge breasts.One day, Natalie came back to her dorm room from taking a shower and gasped at...

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RendezvousChapter 28

Chuck Mom signed me up for the full course; Defensive, Bodyguard, Embassy and Racing. The racing included five laps at full throttle in one of several BMW mid-engined M1 Procar race cars the school had for lease to wealthy Saturday racers. She took a test drive with an instructor ... she failed. “Ma’am, in the words of Ralph Nader, you are unsafe at any speed. You don’t watch the road, your situational awareness stinks. You ride the clutch, pay no attention to your mirrors, over-rev the...

Deputy PorterChapter 76

I had learned to sleep anywhere, and I did. I slept just fine in the motel room. It was a little noisy, and I guess I should have been worried but I really wasn't. I believed more in misdirection than it gun play. I lay in bed thinking about what kind of trail I had left. First of all my cover got blown with the rescue raid at the vineyards. The officer in charge of that raid was so wrapped up in saving my ass, he wasn't trying as hard to cover it and that was okay, I was blown...

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So when I was passing through Cleveland, I decided to look them up. They seemed glad to see me and invited me for dinner and to stay over. Dinner was almost ready. I took a shower and jerked off in there. I have to do that a lot. I’d been riding on the bus with a bunch of guys going to a track meet. I hadn’t done anything, but my fantasy machine was running in overdrive the whole trip, so when I’d taken my shower, I put one foot up on the toilet seat and whacked off to the fantasy of all...

Some People Are Just Lucky I GuessChapter 12

Yes, Alice spent the night with me, and we did begin the day with a quickie. Of course, it was not as intense as the night before, but everybody in the house enjoyed it. After breakfast, Alice found a spare bedroom that she thought would be suitable for a training room. Alice moved in with Nancy, so we still had enough rooms for everything we needed, but I could see that we were going to need a larger house before too long. Todd was doing well with our investments, even during the latest...

Project PrometheusChapter 39

The landscape ahead of them looked much the same as it had over the past hour or so; ruins and refuse everywhere. It was almost as though the entire planet had become one giant slag heap. Given what Alex had read about the Bombardment, it was kind of expected, with the damage the Confederacy had wrought. Still, it was a shock to see in person, even though he’d been mentally prepared for it. With the level of devastation being so complete, it was hard not to understand why the locals were...

Wedding BetChapter 10 Brush With The Law

Doug and Kent rolled into the ranch about eleven o’clock Friday night. I’d heard the driveway alert go off and expected them thanks to calls from Margo. I didn’t get up to greet them; I was enjoying the afterglow of a long fuck with Jessica – my buddy Kyle’s new wife. Wade’s new wife and my wife’s best friend Tina was between our legs where she’d been lapping at our conjoined genitalia as we fucked. I’d already fucked Tina and left a large load of man cum inside her body. Of course, I’d gone...

Miss Shaila Adventure Of A Sensual Massage

Hello Friends. I am Aarav, a 24-year-old handsome guy from Pune. So this is the first real-life experience that I have penned down and I hope you enjoy it. It was the first week of January. I had one of my Entrance exams in Mumbai and so was returning to Pune. I had already booked my Shivneri bus tickets and was waiting for my bus. As usual, the bus never arrived on time, and I was just glancing through the other passengers. My eyes caught a glimpse of a lady, maybe in her early 30’s, wearing...

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‘That was a long day I think to myself,’ as I walk up the steps to our apartment. I’ve been working a lot of late nights at work and it’s been taking a toll on me. The only thing keeping me sane has been your love and support through it all. A smile spreads across my face at the thought of you on the other side of the door. Pops was right, I am a lucky guy. I open the door to find you curled up on the couch with the TV only. I stand there for a minute, just watching you sleep. Your mouth...

Crazy Family Wedding 8211 Part 3 Satisfied At Last

Hey guys, I hope you all are doing well. A small recap for you. In the previous part, I watched Selena and Sam have sex in their bedroom. I got caught by uncle Sam and ended up giving him a blowjob in the kitchen. We almost got caught by Shanaya, and I ended up without sex again! After Uncle Sam left, I was standing there in the kitchen, frustrated. I wanted someone to fuck me good, and I was desperate now. In this frustration, I went into my room and went right to sleep. The...

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Many would have considered the Terrace Heights Apartments a dump. It was a square five-story building that stood atop a small ridge in southwestern Madison WI. The exterior was covered fake fieldstone, including the small balcony outside each apartment. That fieldstone was dirty and weathered from years of neglect. The first floor hallway was dimly lit. The dark green paint on the walls didn’t help any. The area off that hallway which held the vending machines was lit by the lights inside the...

Paradise Island

My name is Finn, and my life is pointless. At 27, i have an associates degree in liberal arts, a dead end job, and live alone. I haven't had a date in 6 years, and never even kissed a girl. Three months ago, i decided it was time to see the world so i planned a trip for australia. As soon as i'm on the plane i sit in my seat and fall asleep. I am abruptly awoken by massive turbulence. Everything is shaking and alarms are going off. Suddenly the plane breaks apart and my seat falls from the sky...

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June Autumn and RogerChapter 15 June The Patient

Sunday night June thanked Autumn profusely by not only licking her pussy but her ass and tits as well. The rest of the week went by without incident. Oh, she did have to crawl to Autumn’s spread legs and thank her but she wasn’t ordered to satisfy her sister’s sexual needs. Not that she wasn’t grateful, but, for some reason, she found herself drawn to Autumn’s pussy and had an almost irresistible urge to kiss it. She began to wonder if she was obsessed with performing lesbian sex. When her...

Sissy Prudence Part 5

Sissy Prudence (Part 5) (by Sissy Caroline) Section 1 It had to be measured perfectly accurately and it was. The two halves slipped together easily and the joins were virtually invisible. About a half inch wide and a quarter inch thick, the collar now fastened permanently around the sissy's neck was gold in appearance and as difficult to cut and remove as the collar that had been fastened around his scrotum some time ago. A small silver panel glued to the front was engraved...

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