DRABBLES- A Baker's Dozen free porn video

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////////////////////////////////////////////////////// DRABBLES: A BAKER'S DOZEN Laika Pupkino ////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #1 ////////// GHOST DICK Three months after her SRS, Michelle awoke before dawn to see a glowing apparition above the foot of her bed.. It was a dick.... A GHOST dick! It spoke in that warbling voice all ghosts use: "Mi-i-ichael! I'm the ghost of your maaanhooood! Yoooooou muuuuuuuuurdered meeeeeeeee!" A well-aimed book hit the florescent dildo, snapping the string it hung from "I know you're down there, Phyllis!" A woman in pajamas stood up Michelle sighed, "Oh Honey..... I know you hated my transitioning, and don't understand that I HAD to. But can't we discuss this in the morning? Like grown-ups? PLEASE?!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #2 ////////// MY SHAMEFUL SECRET I took the plunge today and wore it. Under my clothes. Slid it on in the bathroom, where Janet wouldn't see Driving across town to work was a delicious thrill. Nobody could tell about my secret In the breakroom Bev and Miriam---who always acted like they found me somewhat creepy---were chatting me up. Like my secret helped me connect with them. Just us girls The boss walked by. I should've known. He has a nose for these things He recoiled, "Good God, Hendricksen! Are you wearing WOMEN'S deodorant?!" My fetish is expanding. Now I have a pink slip.. #3 ////////// A CHILD'S LETTER TO SANTA DEAR SANTA CLAUSE, I KNOW YOU ARE A MILLION YEARS OLD AND HAVE TO GO ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT TO GIVE EVERYBODY PRESENTS. AND I KNOW SOMETIMES OLD PEOPLE DON'T HEAR GOOD, LIKE MY GRANMA WHO HAS A HERRING AID, AND MAYBE YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE WITH THE POLER ICE MELTING AND EVERYTHING BUT I REALLY WISH YOU LISTNED BETTER WHEN I SAT ON YOUR LAP AT MACIES AND TOLD YOU WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS I SAID I WANTED A COCKATOO! NOT A COCK OR TWO! SINCERLY, MARCIA GREENBLATT (THE GIRL WITH TWO DICKS) /////////////////////// ////////////////////// #4 ////////// THE DEADPAN DETECTIVES IN: THE CASE OF THE CATALEPTIC KATOYS The fiend was taken away in handcuffs, ranting. A doctor was called in "Will they be okay, Doc?" "Hard to tell. Toxicology isn't my specialty. Why would somebody do this? Takes all kinds, I guess." Friday glared at him. "No it doesn't. Not this kind..." The abandoned furniture store was a ghastly spectacle. Apparently the Thai transsexuals were lured to America with promises of employment. They'd been put in strange positions and paralyzed with curare to form chairs, sofas, ottomans. A hundred eyeballs stared in helpless terror "Well now I've seen everything." "What's that, Joe?" "A Lady Boy Furniture Showroom..." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #5 ////////// THE LIMITS OF ACCEPTANCE "Mom? I have something to tell you..." "Goodness, this sounds serious. Let's sit down here. What is it, Honey?" "I'm...... I'm a Tr-" "You're Transgender? I knew dear. I was pretty sure anyway. You've always seemed more like a daughter. Your father and I were expecting this. We love you no matter what." "Ohhhh that's wonderful, Mom! I was working up the nerve to tell you someday." "But you just told me..." "That's not what I was gonna say though. It's...... something else." "You can say it. My brave girl!" "I'm...... a Trekkie." "Oh God!! Where did we go WRONG?!!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #6 ////////// GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS (for Julie O.) GOOD NEWS: You meet this Adonis at a bar BAD NEWS: He's from Romania GOOD: He speaks English perfectly BAD: He brags incessantly GOOD: You want him anyway BAD: You're not technically a woman yet GOOD: He says he has a thing for T-girls BAD: In the parking garage, the "thing" turns out to be a crowbar! He has restraints, surgical equipment GOOD: You're a witch, working for the Magical Justice Department You've been on this monster's trail for months. You easily subdue him BAD: Before his trial, he's extradited back to Bucharest GOOD: Romanian witch-justice is swift, and..... creative ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #7 ////////// SOMETHING QUITE ATROCIOUS.. My sister Shauntisha was incredulous, "You're sayin' Kelly, our building superintendant, wasn't always a guy?" "He was always a guy, he just be in th' wrong body." "Oh God, there you go with that shit again. You know what I'm sayin'. It's just.... I mean.... Kelly! Who woulda guessed?! And does he have a..... you know." "Penis? Sure does. It's not fully functional, but it look REAL, man!" "How on Earth did they do that?" "Made it from his toes." "His TOES????" I sang my response, "Our..... super Kelly's fake realistic sex be all his toes, Sis!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #8 ////////// THE MiSTERY WoMAN oF MYStARY (My attempt at penning the worst transender fiction ever written:) He said this elivater will took me to top of Eifful Tower and I say form here in Miniapellis?? Really??? and "Yes" he said so I did I took it and get out. He was there I dont now how he got here? I say this IS high up but not Effel TOWER high And he says no not Eiffal. It's names the "I Fall" tower Why? I ask? They say look over the egde and you'll see so I did and he push me Then I knew why as.. ,I ,F .A ,L ,L ,! .! .! Oh. And I was a man waring a dress //////////////////// /////////////////// #9 ////////// GENDER-FLUID I'd never heard the term "gender-fluid" until that day "So, what's the problem..... Mister..... Miss-" "You can't tell, can you Doctor?" "No." "That's the problem. Neither can I." "But which sex do you feel like?" "I don't." "A-HA!!" he exclaimed. Dug into my navel. Out popped a valve stem "JEE-SUS!!!" "Relax, everybody has one. But it should have a cap on it. Your genderfluid's leaked out." "My what?" "Lie back..." He put a funnel into the stem. Took what resembled a gallon of cheap blueberry punch from a cabinet "Um..... could I try that pink kind there?" ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #10 //////// THE QUEEROMETER NEVER LIES (Just a gay old drabble, circa 1998...) My new neighbor seemed nice enough, in a macho ignoramus kind of way. His cluttered apartment had porno mags scattered everywhere. He got us beers, turned on the television "That dude's a goddamn faggot." "That actor? You heard this?" "I just know. I always know." I saw one serious flaw in his claim, but just nodded "And him too!" "Gene Hackman? You sure?" "Positive. 'Cause whenever I see a homo, I get this.... reaction. Kinda like my grandma knowing it was gonna rain. Fuckin' queers are everywhere." "What kind of reaction?" "It's like....... my dick gets hard." //////////////////// //////////////////// Lightning McQueen turned his back on fame & glory to be with the woman he loved, but there was something she had been hesitant to tell him.. #11 /////////// BODY WORK (a brief tale of romance based on Pixar's CARS) "You quit racing to be with me, Lightning? Oh I should've told you. You'll hate me!" "Impossible!" "I haven't been honest. This is a new body." "Wrecks happen. But you're okay now." "No, a DIFFERENT body. I was---and my chassis is---Mustang." "Don't talk crazy, Sally. Mustangs are boy cars......... Oh." Lightning was disturbed. He'd rubbed tailpipes with this vehicle "But you're such a Porsche!" "I always was, inside. I hated being a muscle car." Lightning took a long drive. Returned "Well...... every relationship has its flaws to overcome." "So I'm 'flawed'?" "No, you're perfect. I meant mine." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #12 ////////// Some folks call it a Kaiser Bag. But I call it a.. SLING BAG (A t.g.tale based on Billy Bob Thorton's film Sling Blade, in five drabble-length chapters...) 1.) Well they let me outta there. I dint have hardly no money, and no place to stay, but i knowed one thing. After 8 years of them tellin me i had to dress like what they wanted, which was a boy, i needed some purtyin up Then I seen it. MIMI'S SALON.. I axed, you do hair stylin? Kin ya do mine? The gal sayed well whatcha want? Ya got this nice thick long hair I sayed i dunno, what's good? She sayed how 'bout a french braid? I sayed i like french braids She tole me have a seat. Uhuhn.. 2.) The gal put my head back, started warshin my hair. That felt nice. Jesus she sayed, what ya been warshin it with, lye? Well I dint like her takin Our Lord's name in vain, and almost went for my bag right there. But that's what got me inta trouble in the first place, so I dint. Sayed i been usin institution shampoo She like jumped. INSTITUTION?! Are you that fella caused a ruckus couple years back goin around smackin folks with a tote bag? I sayed it warnt a tote bag, it was a sling bag. And i aint a fella 3.) Well mimi---that was her name---she gets a phone call halfway through doin my braids. So i go ahead and finish 'em up Where'd ya learn to do that, she axed? I sayed i just watched you Then a lady come in for a poodle cut. Mimi whispers you watch what i'm doin here. Then says lady, my cousin Gigi gonna finish you up That lady looked scared of me but sayed okay. And I could see how it should go. Did her hair real nice, and she was happy And that's how I come to work for mimi 4.) So me and mimi was cuttin, warshin and stickin fingernails on gals and gabbin. Her gabbin, mostly. And then it was five a'clock Closin' up, mimi ax what i wanna be a woman for Well why you wanna be a woman, i axed She sayed 'cause i am one, silly I sayed well so am i Oh, mimi sayed. I think i heard of this. Anyway go home and be here nine sharp I stood, wonderin where to go She axed you aint got no home, do you? I sayed no And mimi sayed a bad word, but nice like 5.) We walked 2 blocks to mimi's house, her mutterin about how crazy this was, takin in some crazy transvegemite from the nuthouse Mimi axed you won't go psycho on me, willya? I sayed yer bein so good to me, I reckon not She showed me her garage. A mattress in there. Sayed sorry it ain't much I sayed nobody's tellin me what to wear, who i "really" am. I reckon it's perfect She axed you got somethin to sleep in? Yer a big, uh ...... girl, but so was my sister Katie. Here's her nightie I slept real good that night Uhuhn ////////////////////// ///////////////////// (These last 2 aren't transgender or even LGBT but I think they have pretty good punchlines:) ////////// THE RINGER The crowds cheered for Meredith as her team helped her out of the swimming pool and into her wheelchair As she wheeled herself toward the stand to receive her fourth consecutive gold medal it was announced that her wins had all been disqualified, and she was barred from competing Meredith was furious, "Just what the hell kind of nonsense are you pulling here?" "The Paralympics are for disabled people," said the angry official The legless swimmer crowed, "Hel-LOOOOO! Are you completely stupid? You see this wheelchair? I can't walk, never could. What am I then if not handicapped?" "A mermaid!" ///////////////////// ///////////////////// ////////// THE HELLFIRE KID TELLS HIS TALE Some boys dream of becomin' ship captains, others jungle explorers. Maybe a few dream of being lamplighters. But my judgment was polluted by penny dreadfuls and tales of the old Wild West. So when the Devil offered me my heart's desire for the price of something you couldn't see and that didn't weigh nothin', I told him to make me an unbeatable gunfighter I probably shouldn'ta said unbeatable. After killing my first hundred men it warn't much fun at all. Hell one time, just to see what would happen, I didn't even draw. Somehow the feller shot and killed hisself! I'm close to ninety now, and soon Old Scratch will be claimin' my soul. But no one can deny I was a legend in my day.. The Faustus Gun in the West

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When I finally woke up, Christy was still spooned against me, and I was still cupping her breast in my hand. I don’t think either of us had moved an inch. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had actually slept for eight hours solid. While that might not sound unusual for a lot of people, but it was virtually unheard of for me. In the three years since my wife and daughter were killed, I don’t think I had slept more than four or five hours a night. And even then it was never solid,...

The Preacher ManChapter 33 Quiet Reunion

Even though it's the hub city of High Tech, Dakar's airport was almost deserted as Michal and I walked through it. I took a look at the display board in the well-lit but empty terminal. Only a handful of flights were scheduled to land later today, and all of them were executive Mach 3+ ramjets. It made sense. The era of sub-sonic passenger jet travel was coming to an end, at least in North America. The bullet trains were just as fast, and far safer and more economical. There were only...

Black Owned but my Heart belongs to you

I watched as my friend and neighbor Tom slowly pumped his thick 9-inch cock up into my girlfriend's distended pussy. Jess straddled Tom facing away from him and toward me, ensuring that I had an unimpeded view of the proceedings. She sighed as she sank down on him and he slid all the way in, her pussy lips gripping him tightly as she did so. As always, the sight made me hard as a rock, helped in no small measure by the fact that Tom's gorgeous wife, Maya, was expertly stroking me as I watched...

Waking up in the wrong place

You hear an alarm going off that you don't remember having. You reach over to shut it off and you feel different than normal. You realize something is wrong when you open your eyes and you are in your nieghbors bed. You go to the bathroom turn and in the mirror you see who?

AssParade Julianna Vega Fucking a Huge Ass for New Year

Juliana is hosting a new years eve dinner party, she has been flirting with Diego, bending over and showing off her huge ass. Peter is watching the entire thing unfold and is stunned, he cannot believe what he saw, what a huge ass, at midnight, Peter makes his move and bumps Diego outta the way before he kisses Juliana so he can kiss her, Juliana is startled at first but she really loved kissing Peter, so she drags Peter away to celebrate in her own unique way, as soon as they get to the...

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Turned Legal

You are an 18-year-old girl named Alice. You stand in front of the mirror crying. "That bitch!" you shout and hit the sink with the palm of your hand. "I wish he didn't want her anymore. I wish no one loved her and everyone loved me." You imagine how it would be to be wanted, no! needed by everyone. You would never be chosen second. No one would ever cheat on you. You could do anything you wanted. You stand there, crying for some time, before washing your face and going to sleep.

Fantasy

My first blowjob

Note : This story is completely fictional! My friend invited me to her dad was there. when i got there a few of my friends was there and were drinking vodka. her step dad was being a total bastard because he was fucked upon vodka and coke. my two friends that was there fell asleep on the couch. my other friend who invited me we will call her missy for personal reasons. me and missy were on the other couch drunk and her parents start shouting at each other. her step dad pushes her mum on the...

First Time

God of LoveChapter 11 The Hidden Truth

To some extent, Lucas had expected, but Clovis was too direct. He thought that, given Clovis’s nature, he would subtly ask for his departure, who would say that he would simply be so direct? Maybe Lucas wasi a little wrong judging him, at least he knows how to be straightforward when he needs to be. When Lucas planned to respond, May intervened. “Aren’t you being too impatient? Can’t you wait a while? I wanted to entertain Lucas a little more.” “No problem, May, I know you need to talk...

Saturday night

I hate saturdays. Saturdays are the busiest days at work, so when I get to go home I always feel relieved it's finally over. Today was no different. Giving a final wink at my colleague, a brunette halfway her twenties called Nikita, I punched out and headed to my car. It was fairly overcast so there was remarkably little to see outside. As a result I made good time back home. Just as I was about to take my exit, I realised something.

Fucking Cousins

As a child, I went to my grandmothers house every summer. I had many other cousins that also stayed there for she had a large house. The past two summers, however, I could not go, because I had to go to cheer camp. The summer after those two years I decided I would go to grandmas house. I had matured a lot, growing 36 C breasts and a firm, round ass. My long dark brown hair had grown out, and was full of waves. I was tanned from the sun. My brothers and sisters stayed, for they were much to go...

Incest

Cum eating found online not ours but HOT

My husband stood naked in the kitchen. He had a hard cock, of course, and his pubic hair was shaved. There was lubricant dripping from the end of his cock.I was dressed and ready to go out the door for most of the day. I walked over to him, reached down and grabbed his sperm filled balls and gave them a firm squeeze. I gave him a soft kiss and said see you later. We both looked down at his cock as I slid my hand up its length and wiped a large drop of pre-cum off the end of his prick and onto...

Forced To Be A Stripper

Forced to Be a Stripper-A Mind Control Story By Powerone Copyright 2004 M+/f, mc, oral, anal, nc, reluc The John Mellencamp song was blaring loudly as Vanessa danced around underthe lights. "I want you to dance naked, so I can see you, I'd liketo get to know you, you don't have to act naughty." Her hips movingback and forth, synchronized with the strings of his guitar, a wanton displayof simulated sex. "Spin it round and round, spin it roundand round and round, I want you to dance...

The Electricians HaremChapter 3

The girls were having a slumber party at our house that night. I ordered pizza for them and left them to their games and gossip. I went back to the den and watched a movie. I told Monica that all the girls had to stay in the house, no boys were allowed in the house or hanging around outside or necking with any of the girls through a window. I went to bed at 11:30 pm. Our house is laid out so that my room is in one wing, the living room, kitchen, dining room and den are in the middle, and...

My Maria Scene 3B

It is Thursday and I have been busy working outside sweating profusely. My phone was ringing and I ran to answer it. It was from a number I did not recognize. I picked up the handset. “Hello,” I said hesitantly. “Cal? This is Karen. How are you doing? I am nearby and would like to stop by. Is that all right?” she asked. “I was just coming in to take a shower. Come on by. That would be nice,” I said softly. “Good, I will be there in 5 minutes. We can shower together,” Karen said seductively....

Oral Sex

Playful Wrestling becomes FuckFest for Wife

My wife has always played the tough invisible role. Despite her 5'4" 112 pound size, she never backed away regardless of the gender or size of her opponent. She had confided in me that over the years growing up that this trait had got her ass kicked on more than one occasion. If nothing else, my wife has always been a very competitive person in all regard, whether it was academically, or physically. Growing up, I had two close friends, both of who joined the army when they reached eighteen....

The woods

She was late. Cursing her own inexcusable stupidity for not leaving the party at a decent hour, she hurried down the dark street. It was well past two in the morning and the air had that peculiarly damp, green scent that only happens at some ungodly hour of the morning. Coming to the end of the street she makes a fast decision--she will cut through the swath of woods between the campus and her small house rather than walk the tedious eight blocks around it. With any luck, she would manage...

Hotel Rouge Part 1

Hotel Rouge was everything its website promised - intimate, discreet and luxurious. There was no check-in desk, just a table in the richly decorated hall, where the young woman who materialised as soon as I came in noted my name, took a tasseled key from a drawer and picked up my bag. I couldn't help watching the seductive rotation of her marvellously rounded bottom on the way upstairs - the tight skirt showed it off to perfection, and I got the impression that the woman was more than aware of...

Spanking

First Do No Harm Winter JenningsChapter 10 Starbucks

Vanessa came home, chatted with Gloria. In English. She took a quick shower and joined us for dinner. Slipped a Mendocinas to Hobo. The Proper Villain was on the prowl. Pilar poured him some dry food, added a little empanada juice from the cast iron pan. Gloria watched with interest. She had a grown daughter, but, so far as I knew, lived alone in LA and New York. Maybe being around a family was refreshing. Gloria reached over, patted my hand, “So, how are you?” “Pretty good, considering....

Boy LEARNS from a BIG HARD COCK neighbor

I was at a party with the cool and horny people from SwingingBiCouples. They are a balst and after we had all fucked each other and I had a few large loads of cum pumped inside me, we started talking about our past experiences. After I told them this story, they said I should write about it and have it posted here on Hamsters so here it is!First of all, it's true story that many of you can probably relate too. I was young of course, curious about everything and not really sure about my...

Captain fucks my girlfriend while shes on the phone with me

So this is what happened: one afternoon when I came back from work I saw Claudia looking over a mens underwear magazine which, quite naturally, depicts models with perfect bodies and suggest what appears to be a rather decent bulge inside of the garments. I have never been a jealous man, and although she was a bit red and got redder when I asked her what she was doing, I gave it no second thought. We actually laughed it off the next minute. She then started watching her favorite show...

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