“We don’t do this nearly often enough,” he murmured into my ear as we settled ourselves in a nifty little alcove he’d discovered behind one of the staircases on the first floor.
“Don’t talk about that now,” I said. “Just make the most of the fact we’re together.”
He grinned at me. “I like the sound of that.” I smiled back and pulled him in closer.
He was right, we didn’t catch up nearly often enough and so I tried to make the most of it when we did. Within reason, of course – I was still wary of heading back into the Hufflepuff common room or, worse, his dorm, and therefore preferred to stay in places just a little more public. The seductive part of it was, of course, the fact that when we were making out it meant that we weren’t talking and that meant in turn that I was less likely to stew over what was wrong with our relationship, instead focusing on what made it good. And lazy hours like this one certainly helped me do that.
Of course it was over much too soon and it seemed like no time had passed when we had to call a stop to it. “Bloody school,” Bertram grumbled as he put his arms around me again. “We have to do this again. Soon.”
I smiled as I reached up and kissed him. “Sounds good to me.”
We stayed for as long as we could but unfortunately we eventually did have to part, or at least we did if Bertram wanted to pass Charms, so at long last he grabbed his school bag and headed off to that class and I went in the opposite direction and started making my way up to Gryffindor Tower.
The quickest route from Bertram’s little alcove took me past the library, and as I walked past its entrance the door suddenly opened and I was bowled over by Sirius, who was looking a little fraught as he barrelled along at a rate of knots. The collision was pretty forceful and we both ended up rather awkwardly on the floor.
“Oh, Laura, sorry, I didn’t mean to run into you like that,” he said apologetically as we picked ourselves up and I gathered my scattered books back into my bag. “I was just trying to escape …” His voice trailed off.
Getting back to my feet, I looked at him in confusion. “Escape? What from?”
He looked a little uncomfortable. “More like who from,” he muttered, and I looked up to see Elvira Vablatsky and Greta Catchlove standing at the open the library door, noticing him talking to me and throwing death looks in my direction.
Sirius followed me around the nearest corner where I waited while he got himself sorted out, putting two or three library books into his bag. I grinned at him. “What, you don’t want to spend your afternoon with Elvira and her friends? Whyever not?”
He raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Do I have to answer that?”
“Of course not,” I said, “but I thought it might give you an opportunity to vent your spleen a little. You look rather like you want to.”
He laughed. “Yes, fair enough, it can get a bit irritating. And all I wanted was to go in, grab a couple of books for that Herbology assignment, and get out again. And it ended up taking me –” he looked at his watch – “three quarters an hour?” Looking shocked it had been that long, he shook his head in frustration.
I looked back in the direction of the library, but Elvira and Greta had obviously decided not to follow him. Maybe that three quarters of an hour had been enough for them. “What were they doing this time?”
“Inviting me to Hogsmeade, believe it or not,” he said, making a face. “We don’t even know when the next visit will be, but they thought they’d get in early. And they had an answer for everything I said, too – I think they must have planned it or something.”
“Well, at least they weren’t trying to force feed you some amortentia or anything,” I pointed out, trying not to laugh at his expression of discomfort and – was that embarrassment? Sirius Black, embarrassed by female attention? I mean, I knew he found Elvira and the fan club annoying, but it had never occurred to me that their behaviour might embarrass him. I swallowed my surprise. “Did you want company back to the tower, just in case?”
He looked at me gratefully. “That’d be great, thanks,” he said, and we headed in the direction of the nearest staircase. “So,” he went on, “any brilliant ideas? What can I do about them? Pr- James and I haven’t come up with anything that’s worked yet.”
I giggled. “Drench them in dragon dung. It’d do it for me.”
He looked sideways at me. “Or Bubotuber pus?”
I shrugged, struggling to contain a grin. “Hey, why not? It’s worked once, it would probably work again.”
“Ah, but you need access to the Bubotubers,” he pointed out, “and to be honest I’d rather not lead any of them into the greenhouses. They’d probably get ideas.”
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” I conceded. “All right, how about one of Hagrid’s Nifflers?”
He shook his head, though he’d started to laugh. “Not enough jewellery,” he pointed out when he could get a word out. “Now someone like Mulciber, on the other hand ...”
I giggled again, remembering what the Nifflers had done to him during Care of Magical Creatures in fifth year. “Oh, that medallion,” I said with exaggerated exasperation. “Someone really needs to tell him that you can’t get away with that unless you’ve got at least some hair on your chest.”
“What, the smooth-as-a-baby’s-bum look doesn’t appeal to you?” he asked with a grin.
“Not really,” I admitted, for some reason feeling a little discomfited to be discussing my personal preferences in this sort of thing with someone like Sirius. I decided to change the subject. “But that’s not really the point. If a boy wants to unbutton his shirt half way and wear a medallion he should at least have something to show, don’t you think?”
It worked – my change of subject went without comment. In fact, Sirius was still laughing and I found it rather hard not to join in: it really was quite infectious and something about him just seemed to set me off. “He may prefer the hairless look,” he said eventually. “You never know, he might have Charmed it all off. Why he’d want to, I have no idea, but …”
“You know, you could be on to something there,” I said through my giggles. “And does anyone else think it’s weird that a boy wears more jewellery than any of the girls in the school? Or do you think he’s trying to tell us something?”
“Definitely trying to tell us something,” Sirius agreed. “Too bad Pritchard is so thick, otherwise she might have figured it out by now.”
“Either that or she thinks she’s got it made because he never tries anything,” I said dryly. Sirius stopped laughing for a second and looked sharply at me, but before I could work out his expression he’d looked away again, so I went on with my train of thought. “Or do you think that it’s because of her that he’s leaning that way in the first place?”
“Now that I like,” he said, chuckling again. “Scylla Pritchard is so appalling that she’s turned him gay. I almost feel like spreading that as a rumour to see how long it takes to catch hold.”
“If you start it,” I said, “about five minutes. If someone else starts it, it could take a little while longer, maybe up to two or three days depending on how reliable the source is.”
“So if you started it?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.
I shrugged. “I’ve never started a rumour before – that I know of – so I’ve got no idea. Considering no one ever listens to me, though, I’m leaning towards about a week.”
“Now that’s got to be an exaggeration,” he said with a grin. “I would have put it more about the two-week mark.”
He was still smiling and I wondered what he would do if I succumbed to the sudden urge to grab a book out of my bag and hurl it at him. The heavier the better, of course. But I didn’t know him quite well enough to get away with something like that, so I settled for glaring at him. “Gee, thanks for that,” I said sarcastically. “It’s so nice to know how much I’m looked up to.”
He suddenly looked mortified. “You didn’t take me seriously, did you?”
I grinned. “Sirius Black, how much of anything you say should be taken seriously?” His face visibly relaxed. “If I took that sort of thing seriously,” I went on, “I’d have such an inferiority complex that I’d never leave my dormitory.” I grinned as we reached the Fat Lady and Sirius, looking rather relieved, gave the password so we could go inside. “Well, it looks like you made it intact,” I said, having a quick look around the common room. “Not a groupie to be seen. Now do you think you can get up to your dorm without being molested, or would you like a chaperone up the stairs as well?”
He raised his eyebrows. “And you say you’ve never started a rumour? What do you think that would do?”
“Good point,” I conceded. “Though to be honest, if anyone actually believed that I’d be worried. Let’s face it, it’s no more believable now than it was when that story went around last Christmas.” I mean, really, Sirius Black, Hogwarts pin-up, with someone as uninteresting as me? Yeah, right, like that would ever happen. In any case I was somewhat relieved that I didn’t need to accompany him up to the dorm and wasn’t even sure why I’d said it in the first place, preferring instead to join the other girls at the table by the window to try to get a start on my Defence homework from that morning. “At least it looks like you’ll be able to start that essay in peace and quiet,” I went on. “Have fun!” And I waved cheerfully as I crossed the common room and set myself up next to Lily and Mary, only vaguely aware that he just stood there for a while looking thoughtful before disappearing up the boys’ stairs.
****
Saturday morning found me pulling things out of my trunk and emptying my bedside cabinet in a vain effort to locate my Charms textbook. We had an assignment due on Thursday and unfortunately the book was required, so wherever it had ended up last time I threw it in the direction of my trunk, I had to find it.
Mary noticed my agitation. “Wha’ are ye lookin’ fer?”
“I can’t find my copy of Quintessence,” I told her. “It’s here somewhere but I have no idea where.”
Charlotte giggled from the other side of the room. “Have you tried a Summoning Charm?”
I sat down and pulled out my wand, rather embarrassed that something that simple had evaded my thought processes. “Accio Quintessence!”
I waited for the book to dislodge itself from its hiding spot and soar into my hand. And waited. And waited.
After a minute or so Charlotte laughed again. “Okay, looks like it’s not in here at all,” she admitted. “Any idea where else you could have left it?”
I shook my head. “That’s just it, I have no idea where else it could be. It has to be here somewhere.”
Mary grinned. “Anyone woul’ think ye’re nae good a’ Summoning Charms. If it’s here, it woul’ hae come t’ ye. Here,” she went on, pulling her copy of the book out of her trunk, “use mine, ye can give it back when ye’re done.”
I smiled at her gratefully. “Thanks Mary. I’ll have it back to you in no time.”
And I meant to, I really did. Trouble was, it was soon Wednesday and I still had the book, and if she was going to use it for her own essay I would need to get it back to her soon. So with this in mind I went to meet her after my free period (in which I’d put some finishing touches on the paper concerned and done some more work on the Herbology assignment also due the next day) and her Muggle Studies class. However, my best intentions were stymied by Dione Turpin, of all people.
Not that Dione was actually there in person, it was more the effects of her actions. I headed to the second floor, where the classroom was, only to be greeted before I could even see her by Mary’s very characteristic laughter. (I swear, even that had a Scottish accent.) Rounding the corner, I saw her standing outside the classroom with James and Sirius, both of whom were looking a little concerned.
“Laura’ll back me up,” said Mary as she saw me, failing to suppress a giggle. “Wha’ dae ye say t’ this, Laura, James has heard tha’ Lily only got i’ Slughorn’s goo’ books by offerin’ him favours, if ye know wha’ I mean.”
Reaching them, I laughed too. “That is a good one,” I agreed. “How bad would her taste have to be for that to be true?” I giggled with Mary and then caught James’ face. He looked worried sick. Catching myself, I said to him, “Don’t tell me you believed it?”
He seemed to take some solace from the fact that both Mary and I thought the very idea was ridiculous. “You’re sure it’s not true, then?”
I shook my head and grinned at Mary. “Sounds like a Turpin Tale to me.”
Mary nodded. “Aye, one o’ her leas’ believable, too.”
I giggled. “Absolutely. I’d say the Toadstool Tales had more truth to them. Or the ones Beedle the Bard wrote. Honestly, if Lily had been half as busy as those stories have made out over the years, she’d never have had time for anything else. And let’s face it, she’s been in Slughorn’s good books since first year, so she’d have to have got started pretty young.”
“What’s a Turpin Tale?” Sirius looked confused as we started to make our way downstairs for lunch.
“Rumour spread by Dione Turpin,” I explained. “You know the type.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t,” he said, plainly baffled. “Is she known for this sort of thing?”
I laughed as I realised just how good Dione was at hiding her true nature from some people, and Mary clearly had the same reaction. “Tha’s richt, ye’re male,” she said. “She’d ne’er let anythin’ slip in fron’ o’ ye. But aye, she’s bin sayin’ stuff lik’ tha’ since a’ least secon’ year.”
I smiled broadly at the incredulous faces of both boys and continued the explanation. “You remember that rumour that Lily had been plagiarising stuff from the library for her assignments and not writing them herself? That was a Turpin Tale. So was the one saying Charlotte was having it off with Professor Mopsus. Which is pretty similar to the current story, you might notice.”
James looked aghast. “But why would she say things like that?”
“Jealous, we suspect,” I said with a shrug. “She only picks on people she feels inferior to or threatened by so of course Lily, who’s pretty much perfect, is her prime target. But she’s also had a go at Charlotte, obviously, and Martha, and Clio, and Elvira, and Veronica, and even Greta Catchlove because she’s so good at Charms.”
“She is almost perfect, isn’t she,” said James quietly as if to himself, a dreamy look coming to his face as he obviously thought about Lily. He snapped out of it at a growled “Prongs!” from Sirius and went on. “But still, Turpin shouldn’t be saying stuff like that. If people start believing it she could do a lot of damage.”
Mary shrugged. “Only if, as ye said, folk star’ believin’ it an’ all. An’ nae much has stuck so far, so she’s nae bin doin’ tha’ goo’ a job.”
Sirius was frowning, and I remembered too late that he’d gone out with Dione the previous year. Oops, I thought, maybe I should try to be more sensitive before I spout off about people. He interrupted my slightly guilty reverie.
“Has she ever said anything about you?”
I looked at Mary and giggled a little. “Us? Goodness, no. We’re not anywhere near conspicuous enough.”
James looked puzzled. “Conspicuous?”
Mary laughed again. “Ye know, nae one notices us. We fade int’ th’ backgroond, especially when someone lik’ Lily or Martha is aroond. So we’re almos’ immune t’ things lik’ Turpin Tales ’cause Dione hasna any reason t’ feel inferior t’ us.”
Sirius frowned again. “But that’s not right, you’re just as good as they are.” He sounded eerily like Remus had a year or so earlier.
“But we can’t compete with them,” I said placatingly. “Mary’s right. If Lily or Martha or Charlotte is in the room, who pays any attention to us? And don’t say it’s not like that,” I went on, cutting off an interruption I could see coming, “because you know it is. And we don’t mind, either, so don’t apologise. It’s just the way things are. And there’s times that it’s nice, being close to invisible.”
Sirius looked like he wanted to say something, while James was shaking his head. “And to think you went out with her, Padfoot,” he muttered. “We had no idea.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry about it, she’s a dab hand at hiding it. You two aren’t the only ones she’s hoodwinked. Anyway, how was Muggle Studies?”
Sirius groaned dramatically and shook his head. “I never thought it could happen,” he said, “but Penrose has finally done the impossible.”
“And that is?” I asked.
“He’s managed to make a subject even more boring than History of Magic,” Sirius explained, and Mary groaned as well and nodded vigorously.
“Not possible, surely,” I protested. “Nothing could be more boring than History of Magic.”
“I would have thought so too,” said James, “but Padfoot’s got a point. He got us started on Muggle economic systems. Currency trading and the gold standard and – what was that other one?”
“Controlled versus market economy,” Sirius said with an exaggerated shudder. “And something else that even I can’t remember, that’s how enthralling it was.”
“And that really weird thing where different countries have different money,” said James, shaking his head. “That’s just bizarre. How hard would that make it to travel?”
“Because that’s something you do every weekend, is it, James?” I said wryly. “Quick jaunts over to the continent or across the pond to America.”
Sirius chuckled at this while James grinned. “Well, maybe not, but Mum and Dad do like to take me away every summer holidays. But we stay in the wizarding areas as a rule, and of course they’ve all got the same currency. Imagine having to go into Gringott’s and change money every time you get into a new country, it’d be a nightmare!”
“Aye, it’s bad enough havin’ t’ change t’ poonds an’ all when we go int’ Muggle London,” Mary agreed.
“Well, if it’s any consolation,” I said, “even Muggles find that sort of thing boring. And they live with it every day.”
We had reached the Great Hall and Mary, James and Sirius automatically headed to the right to where the Gryffindor table was. I stayed in the middle of the hall, my eyes searching the adjacent Hufflepuff table for Bertram, who I had arranged to sit with. “See you later on!”
Sirius, who was last in the line, whirled around. “You’re not eating?”
I grinned. “Of course I am. I’m just with the Hufflepuffs today.” And I waved cheerfully as I made my way to where Bertram was waiting for me.
He beamed at me and budged up a little so I could fit in the spot he had saved for me. “Get your essay finished?”
“Almost,” I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing a plate and heaping it with beef casserole and mashed potatoes. “But I’ve got another free period after Ancient Runes so I should get it done then.” The next day, Thursday, was full-on, with double Transfiguration, then Charms, then double Herbology, so I liked to make sure I had most of my homework for it done before Wednesday night so I wasn’t in too much of a panic.
“Pleased to hear it,” he said, pouring me a pumpkin juice. “Does that mean you’re free tonight?”
I grinned. “I might just be,” I said. “What did you have in mind?” We saw each other so little these days, with the amount of homework that we were both being set, that it was almost a special treat to catch up. Bertram apparently felt the same way.
“What do you say to a picnic on the North Tower?” he asked with a wink. “I’ll grab some things from the kitchens on my way up.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I said. “I’ll just let Mary – oh, damn it!”
“What?”
“I’ve still got her Charms book.” I leaned down to my school bag and fished in it for some parchment and a quill. “I’ll flick her a note, that way I won’t forget to give it back to her.”
Bertram looked confused. “But didn’t you come in with her? I would have thought you’d have given it back then.”
“I meant to,” I said ruefully, flattening out my parchment on the table in front of me, “but we got waylaid by James and Sirius, they were taken in by a Turpin Tale, and I forgot about it.”
A bitter look crossed his face and I remembered too late that he had something against them. I still hadn’t figured out what exactly it was because none of his explanations made much sense to me, but it was usually easier to avoid mentioning them entirely. Deciding that I shouldn’t need to justify my friendship with them, I concentrated on scrawling a note on my parchment (I’ve still got your book – don’t let me leave the Hall without giving it back to you) and, scrunching it up, threw it across the two tables to where Mary was sitting.
Unfortunately Mary put her drink down at just the wrong moment and the note I had thrown bounced off her goblet and fell to the floor. I didn’t think she’d even noticed it. Sirius, however, was next to her and did seem to have noticed, so I got his attention and tried to convey with hand gestures that the note was for Mary. He was looking rather irritated and appeared to be stabbing moodily at the food on his plate so I felt bad for interrupting him like that, but Mary needed the book for her Charms essay and I had Ancient Runes just after lunch.
Fortunately whatever was aggravating him – quite possibly, I reflected rather guiltily, what we had said earlier about Dione – didn’t extend to Mary’s note and he graciously picked it up and gave it to her. I smiled at him gratefully, then turned my attention to Mary. She opened the parchment, read it, and then looked for me at the Hufflepuff table, nodding her head and grinning as I caught her eye. Good. I beamed at her and turned to Bertram.
“Just don’t let me leave without giving it back to her,” I told him, thinking that if both he and Mary were to remind me then it wouldn’t slip my mind again.
“No problem,” he smiled, his arm reaching around my shoulders. I relaxed into him with a smile. Bertram went on. “I think I can let go of you for that long.”
“But no longer?” I asked, still smiling fondly as I looked up at him.
He gave me a squeeze and kissed me gently. “Definitely no longer. That, Laura, would take a lot of convincing for me to agree to.”
****
On top of everything else we had to do, we were told during our next Apparition lesson that for those students who were of age, there would be tests available to be taken in Hogsmeade in early May. This was greeted with a flurry of interest from the sixth-years, most of whom would be seventeen by that time if they weren’t already. Mary, however, didn’t have her birthday until the end of June and was feeling distinctly disgruntled.
“Tha’d be richt,” she muttered in the common room after supper. “Everyone else will be able t’ Apparate an’ I’ll be stuck behin’ waitin’ on a licence.” We were already well into our Charms homework so I was a bit surprised she was still thinking about it.
“Don’t be like that,” I said. “Tell you what, I’ll not take the test this time. I could probably do with the extra practice anyway. Then we’ll go to the Ministry in the holidays, after your birthday, and take the test together.”
She looked at me incredulously. “Why woul’ ye dae tha’?”
“Let’s face it,” I said, “I’m still not the best at it.” And to illustrate my point I rubbed my eyebrow, which had needed to be reattached after the previous week’s lesson when I’d left it behind. “And I don’t feel the need to have my licence yet anyway. I’m happy to wait.”
She smiled at me. “If ye’re sure, then,” she said.
I smiled back. “Of course I am. I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”
“Thanks, Laura. I knew ye were a goo’ frien’.”
I went back to Spellotaping my copy of Quintessence: A Quest back together – it had turned up, torn and a little crumpled around the corners and generally looking the worse for wear, wedged between my bed and the wall and hidden behind a jumble of shoes and other oddments – and Mary started back on the latest essay Quintessence was supposed to be helping us with. Before long, however, we were interrupted by the portrait hole opening noisily and I looked up to see Sirius rushing into the room. He looked around, visibly agitated, until he found our table.
“Laura, I am so sorry, but you’ve got to see this,” he said, gasping for breath and obviously in a hurry. “Come on.” I looked at him, baffled. “NOW!” he shouted.
Figuring it was easier than arguing the point I got up to follow him, and he grabbed my hand and virtually yanked me through the portrait hole. Once out, he pulled out the two-way mirror. “Prongs! Got her,” he whispered into it, nodding significantly. “Don’t let them leave.”
“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” I asked as he pulled me along corridors and down staircases. More than once we took short-cuts I hadn’t previously known about, using tunnels hidden behind suits of armour or random paintings.
“You have to see,” was all he would say. “So long as we’re not too late …” He was still clutching my hand and it felt like my arm was going to be pulled from its socket – his longer legs were propelling us much faster than I felt comfortable going.
Finally we reached the tapestry of Andros the Invincible, where I had seem him talking to his brother on his birthday all those months ago. James and Remus appeared from nowhere, James raising an eyebrow at Sirius who promptly let go of my hand.
I was panting, worn out from the multi-storey sprint we had done. Sirius looked at me and said again, very quietly, “I am so sorry.” I was about to say something but James held up a finger to keep me quiet and let me catch my breath before grabbing the tapestry and tapping it with his wand. It immediately came crashing to the floor, revealing yet another secret passageway and, at its entrance, a couple locked in a tight embrace. Their surprised faces turned towards us and revealed a seventh-year Ravenclaw girl and – Bertram.
________________________________________
Author's note: Again, I'd like to request that any potential reviewers refrain from using bad language in their reviews. Remember all reviews must remain 12+ and if they're not then they'll be deleted, and I'd hate for that to happen. Thank you. :)
26
Bertram.
Bertram and a girl.
Bertram and a girl who wasn’t me.
Hands all over her – well I knew what that felt like, though seeing him doing it to someone else was a little like an out-of-body experience. Shirt half off, belt undone and trousers open, and her robes pulled up around her thighs. Snogging as though their lives depended on it. And he was supposed to be my boyfriend?
So this was what Sirius had wanted to show me. My boyfriend being overly friendly with someone else. I didn’t know what I had expected to see when the tapestry fell, but I did know it wasn’t that.
In any case, I stood there in shock for what seemed an eternity. Suddenly I found my voice. “Something you wanted to tell me, Bertram?” I asked coldly.
“Laura! It’s not what it looks like! I can explain!” He sounded panicked, fumbling as he tried to do his trousers back up.
“I think it’s pretty obvious what it is,” I said, mustering as much dignity as I could find under the circumstances.
“No! Please!” He looked hopefully at James, Sirius and Remus, who had cold fury emanating from their faces.
“I’ve seen enough,” I said, still coldly. “How about you just keep on doing whatever you think it is that you’re doing. Do whatever you like – or whoever you like. I don’t care. I never want to see you again.” And I turned on my heel and walked calmly away.
At least, I hoped it was calmly. I had a storm raging inside me but I was determined to get out of sight before I would let it take over. After what seemed like forever I reached the bend in the corridor where I had hidden back in November and, rounding it, sank to the floor and leaned up against the wall, relieved to be out of sight.
I was sure I had steam coming out of my ears. Why did he do it? How could he do that to me? What did I do wrong? After everything he’d said, after all the romantic gestures, how he’d behaved over the holidays, insisting on meeting my parents and everything, how could he do that? I wasn’t sure if I was more angry or upset. I didn’t love him but I was fond of him and had been increasingly growing fonder, and he had seemed so sincere. Clearly I wasn’t as good at reading people as I had thought.
And I understood why Sirius had refused to say anything on the way downstairs, why I’d had to see. Because if they’d just told me it was happening I may not have believed them. Bertram didn’t like them at all and I had the occasional impression that the feeling was mutual, so I could well have thought that they were just trying to discredit him for whatever reason. But this, this was proof. There was no talking his way out of this, there was nothing else he could possibly have been doing. And to think I’d been starting to actually believe him when he’d said how special he thought I was, how exceptional, how beautiful …
Through my inner turmoil I heard footsteps moving quickly away, and wondered if the boys were letting Bertram escape or if they would do something to him for me. Make him suffer. “Thanks, Wormtail,” said James’ voice, sounding further away than it actually was.
Sirius had come around the corner to check on me. “Geez, I am so sorry,” he said again, seeing my face as he sat down beside me. “But you had to know.”
“Did I?” I asked scathingly. “What if I was happier not knowing?”
“It would have hurt more in the long run,” he said reassuringly, putting an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze. It was warm and surprisingly comforting and I allowed myself to relax. “Would you rather have gone on, maybe for months, and then found out about it?”
I thought about it. “Probably not,” I agreed finally. “But why would he do that?”
Sirius shook his head. “I can’t work it out either,” he said. “He needs his head read. He must have known what would happen.”
It was a bit feeble but I appreciated the show of support, and he gave me another squeeze as we sat there, me feeling rather comforted by his presence as I attempted to work my way through what were definitely some conflicting emotions. My eyes were dry but I wasn’t sure how long they’d remain that way, though I was doing a fairly good job at keeping the tears at bay for the time being. Eventually I felt ready to stand again and Sirius helped me up and back around the corner to the scene of the crime, his comforting arm still around my shoulders.
I stopped dead. Peter and Remus had disappeared, but Bertram was still there, thankfully fully clothed by now. It looked like he was in a full body bind and his head had ballooned to double its normal size. James had levitated him and was pushing him along the corridor impatiently.
“Thanks, guys,” I said weakly.
James turned around and looked at me. “How’s she doing?” he asked Sirius.
“Holding up,” he said. I nodded, though I suspected it looked a little half-hearted. “I think she needs food though.”
James surveyed me critically, then nodded. “Chocolate. She’ll feel like she’s been through a Dementor attack. Take her down to the kitchens. I’ll find somewhere prominent to dump this git.”
I found I didn’t mind them talking about me as if I wasn’t there. Somehow it was easier to not actually participate in the conversation. James was right, I did feel a bit like I’d encountered a Dementor, and it wasn’t a particularly nice sensation.
“You all right to walk?” asked Sirius, looking at me. “It’s not far, just down from the Great Hall – do you think you can make it?”
I took a deep breath, wondering if I needed to convince him or myself. “Should be able to.”
“That’s the spirit,” he grinned, dropping his arm from my shoulder and taking my hand instead. “Let me know if you’re having trouble, though, okay?” He began to lead me through the very passageway Bertram and his hussy had been hiding in, which went down steeply, in some places becoming stairs. Every now and then he said “Duck,” as the roof dipped significantly and then levelled out again. Fortunately we were now moving much more slowly than we had on the way down from Gryffindor Tower – I didn’t think I would physically have been able to go at that pace again. Eventually we emerged from behind a statue and, after moving down another couple of corridors, stopped next to a still life of a bowl of fruit.
We were unnervingly close to the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room and I felt more than a little on edge just being there. Fortunately, as I was to discover, we wouldn’t be there long. Dropping my hand, Sirius tickled the pear and the painting giggled and swung from the wall, revealing the Hogwarts kitchens.
I had never seen so many house elves in my entire life. Upon seeing us, they clamoured around like a class of primary school children, none any taller than waist height, all offering their services to Sirius, who they seemed to know well.
“Mr Black! Mr Black! How can Totty help Mr Black?” came a high pitched voice, only to be outdone by what seemed like hundreds of like voices as they all clamoured around him. Sirius started laughing.
“Hey, hey, calm down,” he said, waiting for the palaver to subside. “Now, everyone, this is Laura. Laura has just had a bad shock. I was thinking she needs chocolate, maybe some treacle tart, that sort of thing. What can you do for her?”
In an instant I was bombarded by house elves. “Miss Laura, here is some food!” squeaked one, forcing on me a tray containing a pile of chocolate frogs, some éclairs, a slice of treacle tart and a jam doughnut. Another house elf was trying to give me a huge mug of hot chocolate with at least a dozen marshmallows in it. I felt a bit overwhelmed, so was relieved when Sirius again took control and took the tray and mug from me.
“You’ve been more than kind,” he called above the general turmoil, and the excitable elves rushed to him once again. “Thanks, all of you. But I think we’d better be going.” And, expertly balancing the tray on one hand, he grabbed my hand with his other one and led me out of the kitchens.
“So that was the kitchen,” I said as he settled me in an empty classroom nearby, though thankfully well out of sight of the corridor that led to the Hufflepuff common room. “Is it always that chaotic?”
He shrugged. “Pretty much. They’re always really keen to help.”
“And I used to think you lot were so smart, raiding the kitchens for food all the time,” I said wryly, unwrapping a chocolate frog and grabbing it absent-mindedly before it jumped away. “You’re not exactly forcing them at wandpoint to hand it over, are you?”
He grinned as he watched me wolf down another chocolate frog and start on the treacle tart. “You feeling better now?”
“Yeah, I am,” I realised. “Thanks.” I started on the hot chocolate.
He watched me in silence for a while, distractedly raking his fingers through his hair. “I meant what I said before,” he said eventually. “This way will be easier in the long run.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “Doesn’t make it easy now, though.” Suddenly a thought came to me and I looked up at him. “How did you know about it?”
He hesitated. Finally he reached into his robes and pulled out a blank piece of parchment and, unfolding it, laid it on the nearest desk and tapped it lightly with his wand. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” he intoned, looking at it. Suddenly it sprung to life, with lines and dots reaching to all corners of the parchment, which now I looked at it was rather large. I suspected it was the same thing we had seen them poring over in the common room a couple of weeks earlier. He beckoned me over.
“It’s a map,” he said as I bent down to look at it. “The guys and I wrote it.”
I looked at him in awe. “But this is incredible! It shows everybody at Hogwarts on it!” Sure enough, it did – the map, which seemed to feature every room and passage in the castle, also had little dots moving around it, each accompanied by a name in miniscule writing. In a room near the kitchens I could see two dots labelled ‘Laura Cauldwell’ and ‘Sirius Black’, indicating where we were. Finding the Gryffindor common room, I could see ‘Lily Evans’ and ‘Remus Lupin’ next to each other, probably discussing prefect duties, and ‘Martha Hornby’ and ‘Charlotte Trimble’ looked like they were at the table I’d been sitting at before all this started. I grinned despite myself when I noticed ‘Mary Macdonald’ and ‘Marcus Ogden’ in an empty classroom just down the hall – at least Mary’s boyfriend chose her to make out with. Looking further over the parchment, I noticed several passageways I hadn’t previously been aware of, and ‘Severus Snape’ was moving quickly down one of them that came out near what appeared to be the Slytherin common room. In addition, there were a number of tunnels leading out of the castle which went off the boundaries of the map in the direction of Hogsmeade.
He let me have a good look at the map before he spoke again. “We were checking the map to come – well, down here, actually, to the kitchens for a night-time feast – when we saw them in a small enclave behind that tapestry with the dancing trolls on it. Well, what else would they be doing in a place like that at nine o’clock at night? So we sent Wor- Peter out to check – he’s, er, good at sneaking around without being seen – and he came back and confirmed it.” He stopped as I looked up sharply, my brain finally working out the implications of what he’d just said.
“You’re saying this has happened before?”
He nodded. “Yep. We found out just after the holidays.” I nodded, leaning in closer to the map and staring at the spot Bertram and the Ravenclaw girl had been. Sirius had sat down on the desk opposite and was continuing. “I wanted to tell you straight away, myself, but Pr- James pointed out that it might’ve been a one-off, that these things can happen even in the best relationships. You know, caught off guard, a moment of weakness, that type of thing. And you never know, he might have got a fit of the guilts and told you himself… So James thought we should wait … and if it happened again … then we’d … tell you …”
His voice trailed off and I looked up at him, wondering if he’d meant to stop there because I had the feeling he hadn’t. And he did look somewhat distracted, eyes glazed over a little, though I couldn’t for the life of me think why that might be the case. Noticing me watching him, however, he very quickly came to, shaking his head a bit and looking almost embarrassed as he put his feet on a chair in front of him and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. “Right. Well, since then we’ve been checking periodically to see if they did it again, and, well, tonight they did. So we put Pete inside the tunnel to stop them escaping that way, and James and Remus stood guard in the passageway under James’ Invisibility Cloak, and I – ” He paused again as I looked up once more: it was my turn to be distracted.
“James has an Invisibility Cloak??” That had to be how he and Remus had seemed to appear out of nowhere. But really, old money, a two-way mirror, and now this? Not to mention looks, popularity, sporting ability and brains. What did the boy not have? (Oh yeah. The girl of his dreams. But I was pretty sure that was coming.)
Sirius waved a hand impatiently. “Yeah, yeah, he has an Invisibility Cloak. Anyway, they stood guard and I came to get you. You know the rest.”
“I’m glad I dumped him, then,” I said, and my voice sounded more bitter than I’d intended. “James is right, once you can sometimes explain away, but twice …” I trailed off, not able to think of something to say that didn’t sound petty and vindictive, and I straightened up and made my way back to my original seat, my gaze focused on my plate. I had finished the treacle tart and was starting on the jam doughnut, the last thing on my tray, and I was definitely feeling better. In fact, from this distance, I was almost okay that my relationship with Bertram was over – at least I wouldn’t spend any more time fending him off or trying to justify who I talked to. Though, come to think of it …
“What did you do to him?” I asked, looking up again, though I was pretty sure I knew.
“Full body bind, simple Engorgement Charm,” he said, looking at me carefully. “We wanted to make his head a more appropriate size, considering what he thought he was good enough to get away with.” He was still watching me, looking for any reaction.
I smiled wanly. “And where did James leave him?”
Sirius came back over to the table and scanned the map. “Outside Dumbledore’s office, by the looks of things,” he said. I smiled to myself briefly – I didn’t even know where Dumbledore’s office was. “He’ll find him when he comes out in the morning,” Sirius went on. He looked sharply at the map for a second, but the expression of unease was gone as soon as I noticed it, and he shrugged quite unconcernedly.
“But you’ll get in trouble!” I said, suddenly horrified they would have to go through a detention because of me. I found I was much less worried about Bertram, with his swollen head, having to stay on a cold stone floor all night, unable to move.
He raised his eyebrows. “So? We’ll cop that. It was worth it.” I looked at him quizzically. “Look, Laura, it’s not like we’ve never done detentions before,” he said defensively, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “It will probably even be fun, if they don’t split us up again. And he deserved it, he should never have done that to you in the first place.”
I nodded vaguely, not really concentrating on what he was saying as my mind persisted in going at a million miles an hour. Despite the chocolate – and I did feel a bit better, I hadn’t been lying about that – the full implication of what Bertram had done was beginning to sink in and I was starting to feel in danger of breaking down, and I didn’t want to do that in front of Sirius. That was what people like Mary were for, after all. So I stood up, surprising myself by doing it without too much effort and without shaking, and said, “I think I’d like to go back to the tower now.” My voice still wasn’t at its usual tone, but it was getting there.
“Of course,” Sirius said, reaching for my hand again. “I’ll get you back in one piece.” He paused. “Oh – and Laura?”
I looked up at him. “Yes?”
“Would you mind not mentioning the map to anyone? We don’t want word about it getting out, we’d never hear the end of it.”
I nodded. “Of course not. I’d assumed that went without saying.” The map was clearly one of the boys’ secrets and I’d felt privileged to have been allowed to see it.
He smiled. “Thanks.” And with that he picked up the map with his other hand and, flicking it expertly, got it in the right place to check the corridors to make sure we didn’t encounter Filch, Mrs Clay, Peeves, or anyone else who might not take kindly to us being out after curfew.
Once back in the common room, I thanked him again and headed straight up to the dorm. Mary, who was obviously back from her detour with Marcus and had seen me come in, followed almost immediately.
“I hear’ wha’ happened,” she said quietly. “Remus came an’ tol’ us an’ then James came ba’ wi’ some more details an’ all. He said ye were i’ th’ kitchens gettin’ some food?”
“Yeah, Sirius took me in,” I said, suddenly realising what that would sound like to, say, Elvira.
“Are ye okay?” she asked.
I shook my head and all of a sudden I was crying. All the anger and pain and frustration came to the surface and I couldn’t stop myself. “So much for feeling wanted,” I sobbed.
“He’s a lyin’, cheatin’ scumbag who doesna deserve someone as good as ye,” said Mary loyally, as Lily, Martha and Charlotte all joined us in the dorm.
“Laura, we’re so sorry!” exclaimed Lily. “James and Remus told us what happened. How could he do that to you?”
I smiled at her through the tears. No matter how bad I felt, the indignation that the girls were showing on my behalf made me feel calmer. “I thought I knew him,” I said, hiccoughing, aware my cheeks were wet and my eyes red. “And I thought he was special. Now, I guess he’s not.”
“Anyone who can do that to a person is definitely not special,” Charlotte said savagely, squeezing my hand.
“But why did he do it?” I asked plaintively. “What did I do wrong?”
“Don’t be silly, you did nothing wrong,” said Lily firmly, sitting next to me and stroking my hair gently. “He just didn’t realise how good he had it. Deserves everything he gets.”
I smiled again despite myself. “Even if it comes from James and Sirius?”
Lily nodded. “Even then,” she admitted. “Actually, I don’t think I could choose anyone better at it than they are.”
“They go’ caugh’, too,” Mary said suddenly. “James, tha’ is. Filch foond him ootside Dumbledore’s office tryin’ t’ dump Bertram.”
“What!!” I sat up on my bed, horrified. Of course. They most probably only had one map, and Sirius had it which meant James wouldn’t have been able to see where Filch was patrolling. They’d decided my need was greater than theirs. I’d never realised they had that in them.
“Yeah, he did,” confirmed Martha. “Apparently Filch went straight to Dumbledore, who reversed the jinxes and got the story from Bertram. And James didn’t deny anything.” She paused. “Bertram named James and Sirius as the ones who had done it – I guess Peter and Remus had gone by then?” She looked enquiringly at me.
“Yeah, they left,” I said hoarsely.
“Right, so he named James and Sirius, and they’ve been given a double detention. I guess Sirius has found out about that now, too.”
I sank back down again. Sirius had told me that would happen, had been completely blasé about the whole thing, but I felt terrible that they had done this for me and been rewarded with a double detention. I felt like going to Dumbledore and asking to serve it with them, as it was my fault they’d done it in the first place.
“Who was th’ girl? Dae we know her?” asked Mary.
I shrugged. She had looked vaguely familiar but frankly I didn’t care who she was. “Some tart from Ravenclaw. Obviously she’ll put out, which I’m guessing would be why he chose her.” My voice, while still a little weak, sounded more bitter than I had intended it to.
Lily looked at me sternly. “Don’t you ever think this is your fault because of that,” she said almost severely. “If he really cared about you he’d respect your decision and not be pressuring you all the time. If he didn’t really care, then he was only after one thing and you’re better off rid of him.”
I thought about it. What she said made sense, and when my mind was in less turmoil I’d probably appreciate the advice. “Thanks,” I said, still a bit weakly. This had taken more out of me than I had realised.
“I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be loyal,” Charlotte mused. “Bertram mustn’t have got that owl.”
“They are loyal,” Martha pointed out. “Bertram’s loyalty just happens to reside with his you-know-what rather than with his girlfriend.” I smiled wryly – while her choice of words wasn’t what I would probably have used, she did have a point. “I’d offer to plot revenge,” she went on matter-of-factly, “but it looks like the boys have beaten us to it. Unless you wanted him to suffer any more?”
I thought about it. “I don’t know,” I said. “I feel like he’d deserve it, but then I’m not sure he’s worth spending the extra effort on.”
Lily nodded. “Well, if you do decide you want us to do something, just say the word. We’d be happy to.”
Mary pretended to look scandalised. “Is this a prefec’ offerin’ t’ break th’ rules?” she asked with a grin.
Lily put on her best ‘I wasn’t doing anything’ face. “Of course not,” she said, eventually failing to hide her grin. “At least, not any rules worth worrying about. However, if Bertram happens to be in the way when I’m practicing my spells, I won’t be held accountable.”
I had stopped crying and my cheeks were drying at a rate of knots. Charlotte was sitting on the bed holding my hand, and Martha had started rummaging through her trunk. “Chocolate?” she asked brightly, holding up a block of Honeydukes.
I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’ve had heaps. Sirius took me to the kitchens afterwards to help me calm down.”
“That’s right,” said Martha, shaking her head at herself. “James did say, but I’d forgotten. Well, since I’ve got it out … anyone else?”
Mary, Lily and Charlotte all helped themselves to a chunk of Honeydukes’ finest and lay on the beds talking about men, in particular hurling abuse at those deemed unworthy for whatever reason. Oddly enough, that night Bertram was at the top of that list. It was, however, a conversation that I didn’t really need to participate in which suited me just fine, especially since my brain was in turmoil and I was having trouble concentrating on anything. And then, out of the blue and surprising me by how reassuring it felt, it occurred to me that I’d just spent the best part of an hour and a half holding hands with Sirius Black.
________________________________________
Author’s note: We already knew what they did to Bertram Aubrey, so this is my version of why they did it. And before you complain that it wasn’t enough … well I’d just like to give James some credit as a moderating factor – yes, James – as well as the fact that Sirius didn’t actually get to touch him (despite getting the detention for it). Also a rather nifty introduction of both the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map, don’t you think?
Finally, I'd like to remind all potential reviewers to watch their language in reviews so they don't end up getting deleted. Thank you!
27
One good thing about going out with someone from a different year group is that when you break up, it’s much easier to avoid them. Bertram and I didn’t have any classes together and we weren’t in the same House so steering clear of him was, in theory, simpler than it had been when, for example, Cadmus and I had broken up in fourth year.
However, Bertram apparently had other ideas. He kept coming up to me when I arrived in the Great Hall at mealtimes and hovering outside my classrooms waiting for me to finish, all the time trying to get me to reconsider. I reflected somewhat bitterly that I was probably seeing more of him now we’d broken up than I had when we’d still been together.
Fortunately the other sixth-year Gryffindors had taken my side and provided a protective barrier between us. Never had I been so pleased that I had so many classes with James and Sirius – they were certainly the most intimidating boys in the year (save some of the scarier-looking Slytherins) and they were absolutely furious with Bertram, meaning that they moved in to protect me every time he appeared.
For the first few days after I dumped him, I was pretty upset with him and was keen to avoid seeing him at all. I sat with my back to the Hufflepuff table at mealtimes and Mary and Lily made a point of stationing themselves on either side of me, giving me occasional hugs and talking about anything but boys. I noticed James and Sirius were often sitting directly opposite and usually had their wands on the table in front of them, most probably as a deterrent to Bertram coming up behind me to try to talk to me (though my proximity to Lily was most probably an added bonus as far as James was concerned). Whether he did actually try to talk to me or not I couldn’t say with any certainty, however, as whenever the boys glared at someone over my head and fingered their wands viciously I made a point of not turning around. It was easier said than done, but I managed it.
However, one day almost a week after we broke up, Bertram managed to slip through the protective net and talk to me. I was leaving Ancient Runes with Remus – probably my most vulnerable time as he and I were the only Gryffindors in the class – and heading downstairs to lunch.
“Laura!” I recognised his voice but still stopped automatically, more out of habit than anything.
“What is it you want?” I asked coldly, noticing Remus had also stopped and had his wand hand inside his robes.
“I need to explain,” said Bertram, almost desperately. He had reached us by now and glanced nervously at Remus before turning back to me. “Can we talk? Alone?”
I glared at him. “You can’t have anything to say to me that Remus can’t hear,” I said. “But no. I don’t want to talk to you. Ever.”
“But it wasn’t what it looked like!” He sounded rather forlorn, and part of me started enjoying his discomfort.
Remus stepped in. He was the same height as Bertram but he did a good glare and Bertram seemed to shrink in comparison. “We all saw it, Aubrey,” he said. “And it’s not like you were rehearsing a play or anything. What else could it be?” Remus was slow to anger but when he did it could be terrifying, something Bertram was just discovering.
Bertram looked shaken. “Okay, it was. But it was a lapse! A one-off! I didn’t even enjoy it!” He looked searchingly at me. “It would never have happened again, Laura. Please believe me.”
Behind me I heard a sour laugh that sounded a bit like a bark. Only one person laughed like that: Sirius. I smiled to myself – there was safety in numbers and Sirius was a powerful friend to have. And, usually, where Sirius went, there went James as well. I turned around to see them both, and Peter, walking purposefully along the passage towards us with their wands out, and a feeling of comfort and security flooded through me.
“A one-off? Really? That’s not what I heard,” Sirius said coldly, a very ugly look on his face. He gave his wand a swish and Bertram was suddenly propelled backwards across the floor and into the stone wall on the other side of the corridor, hitting it with rather a loud thud. And there he stayed, apparently unable to move away, looking most uncomfortable and with his whole body shaking a little, Sirius’ wand still trained on him. Whatever spell he was being held with was obviously a powerful one.
James nodded. “Yeah, it happened at least twice that we know of,” he agreed, making a show of fingering his wand as well. “And Peter is our witness.”
Bertram, still trapped against the wall, was getting red-faced in his discomfort. “Witness? You can’t have a witness.” He composed himself as best he could behind the spell that was holding him back. “Because it didn’t happen.” He looked back at me, almost begging me to believe him.
I looked at Peter. “Tell him what you saw.”
Peter stood with his hands behind his back and started almost reciting. “You and Esther Davies were behind the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy on the seventh floor. There’s a small enclave behind it that will just fit two people, if they’re standing close together. It was nine o’clock at night on Tuesday the nineteenth of April, I was going past on my way back to Gryffindor Tower after a detention and heard a noise so I peeked behind the tapestry to investigate. You were so busy – erm – doing other things, that you didn’t notice me.”
I knew that at least part of that wasn’t true – Peter hadn’t been on his way back to the tower after detention – but the rest was most probably accurate. From the way the colour was draining from Bertram’s face, I decided that it was.
James’ face was stony as he walked towards Bertram and stared down at him. At about six foot he was only a couple of inches taller but he made that seem significant. “Care to explain your way out of that, Aubrey?”
Bertram mumbled something incomprehensible to the floor, then looked back at me. “Laura, I can make it up to you. I promise. Please? I … I love you!”
I blinked. The first time he’d said it, the first time anyone other than my family had ever told me that, and I didn’t believe a word of it. Could my choice of boyfriends be any worse?
“No you don’t,” I said coldly, hoping the tears I could feel coming stayed put. “You barely know me, really. If you love anyone, it’s the person you think I am, because you never bothered to find out if she and I actually had anything in common.”
He looked gobsmacked and I felt rather pleased with myself. I thought I might even be able to get out of this without crying.
“Of course I know you,” he protested, rather feebly I thought. “You’re wonderful. I’m crazy about you.”
I shook my head again. “You can’t be. Because if you were, you’d never have run around with someone else behind my back.” James and Sirius made noises of agreement behind me and I felt buoyed by their support. Looking coldly at Bertram, who seemed speechless, I gave him what I hoped was my most disdainful look. “Anyway, Bertram, what part of ‘I never want to see you again’ did you not understand? Because I meant it. I’ll even say it again if you’re not convinced.” I paused for dramatic effect. “I never want to see you again.” And I walked past him towards the stairs that would take me down to the Great Hall.
Remus soon caught up with me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders, which were threatening to start shaking. “Well done,” he said in that wonderful measured voice of his. Remus was always a lovely calming influence and could diffuse almost any situation when he chose to – in this case, me looking like I was about to burst into tears.
“I just hope it worked,” I said quietly, my eyes still welling up a little. “So he stops bugging me. I don’t need a constant reminder of how stupid I was.”
“You weren’t stupid,” he said. “Things like that have been happening for time immemorial and it’s got nothing to do with being stupid. If anything, you were smart enough to get out once you found out.”
I smiled at him, though I felt rather drained. “Thanks. But where are the others?” I had just realised we were alone.
“Probably making sure he knows not to bother you again,” Remus said mildly. “I suspect we don’t want to know exactly what they’re up to. Remember, if we don’t know then we can’t testify against them.” We arrived in the Entrance Hall and he gave me a quick squeeze before dropping his arm from my shoulder as we made our way into the Great Hall for lunch, probably not wanting to start any rumours or give Dione any ammunition for one of her stories.
I was rather surprised when a minute or two later I saw Bertram enter the Great Hall, obviously freed from whatever holding spell Sirius had used on him and seemingly unhexed and unscathed. Remus and I looked up at James, Sirius and Peter, who had also just arrived and sat down opposite us.
“What, no feathers?” I asked them. “I’m almost disappointed.”
James shook his head. “We just had a bit of a talk with him,” he said carelessly. “Pointed out that if he’s going to do such a dumb thing then he’s got to be prepared for the consequences.”
Remus raised his eyebrows. “And those consequences don’t involve you cursing him into next week?”