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THE VERGE OF URGENT By Ingrid Halb Once upon a time, there was a young lad named Henry, who lived with his mother and father in a small cottage on the edge of the Urgent Forest. The good part, in the Kingdom of Ruhig. Well, not in Ruhig exactly. Technically they lived in Lower Friedlich, but still part of the greater Ruhig area. It was kind of half way between the towns of Nirgendwo and Niemals. Anyway, Henry was a lanky lad of average features for the region. His dirty blond hair and brown eyes were typical of people from the more eastern part of the realm and well distinguished him from the paler complexioned residents of the capital. He was on the shorter end of tall, with a medium frame not quite grown into the full musculature of maturity. You would place his age somewhere in the late teens or early twenties to look at him. In fact, his age was becoming quite a point of contention between Henry and his parents. "When are you going to get married?" his father said over breakfast one morning. This was not the first time this question had been broached and his father's tone implied that the question was more of a chronic complaint than a legitimate request for information. Henry and his father sat on opposite sides of a small rough-hewn table that half-filled the only room of the cottage. Henry's mother was busying herself over the small wood-burning stove that took up most of the other half of the room. A chicken sat on the windowsill of the one window, shutters thrown open to let in the morning sun. Henry stuck another spoonful of the oatmeal mush into his mouth as a temporary means of avoiding the question. "Jake Uhrendorff's boy has already got three children," his father said. "And a mule!" he added for emphasis. Henry put his spoon down with a sigh. "Look, I'm not Randal Uhrendorff, Okay?" he said. "I'm just not ready to get married." "Not ready? Well you'll never be a successful radish farmer with an attitude like that," his father said with a negative harrumph in the back of his throat. "A good marriage is the backbone of the radish industry. Why, I couldn't run this farm without your mother's help." "Thank you, dear," his mother said, flashing her husband a smile as she poured a little more hot water into Henry's bowl of oatmeal. "What about that nice Hahn girl? She's a little plain, but she's from a good family." "Mom, please!" Henry said, waving her away from his bowl. "Don't take that tone with your mother," his father said sternly. "You could do a lot worse. Gunther Hahn has three acres of prime radish growing land and you know what he's using it for? Hay! For his goats no less! You'd be getting half of that land for a wedding present if you married his only daughter, at least half!" Henry's father leaned back and stared off wistfully. "What I could do with that much land...," he said. Henry stared down at his bowl, his appetite gone. "Maybe I don't want to be a radish farmer," he said quietly. His mother gasped and whirled away from the stove to face Henry, her hand to her mouth. His father nearly fell over backward and only managed to keep his balance by dropping his spoon with a clatter and grabbing the edge of the table. "Now you look here!" his father said, gathering himself as leaned forward jabbing his finger in Henry's direction. "Radish farming got this family where it is today! It was good enough for my father, and for his father before him!" Henry's father said. "Where do you think all this comes from? Onions?" His father gestured with both hands, almost touching two walls as he did so. Henry reflexively looked at the familiar surroundings while the chicken clucked at the unexpected ruckus. "No, Sir...," Henry said in a small voice. "I didn't think so!" his father said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "So you remember that and I don't want to hear anymore of this not growing radishes nonsense." "Yes, Sir," Henry said, poking at his oatmeal. Later that afternoon, Henry walked his favorite trails through the forest half lost in thought. Maybe his father was right. Everyone needed radishes. Radishes were reliable. A man could make a living farming them. Get married. Settle down. Grow radishes. Start a family. Grow more radishes. Henry stopped walking and sighed. Who was he kidding? He was no farmer. He had no passion for radishes like his father did. But it wasn't the radishes. There was something wrong with him. Get up every day, tend the same small patch of ground, fight the weather and the bugs all summer just to do it all over again the next year? No. He wanted something different. He wanted to go places and see things. He wanted to DO things. What he wanted was an adventure! Henry's reverie was broken by an irregular thumping noise accompanied by a series of angry shouts that seemed to be coming from the other side of a copse of stunted Hawthorn. Warily, he stepped off the path and made his way around the trees where he could peek in on the clearing beyond. Henry's jaw dropped and he lost his breath as he saw what was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, swinging at an old dead tree with a large stick. *** "I am so freaking bored!" Barry said. Princess Barry sat sideways in an elegant padded armchair. Her legs hung over one arm of the chair, slowly kicking each leg alternately while balancing her slippers on her toes. Her head hung back over the other arm with her long dark hair nearly reaching the floor. One arm stuck out sideways while the other covered her eyes dramatically. "Bored, bored, bored," she said. She was a youngish woman of medium build, thin but with a layer of softness that suggested recent easy living. Her handmaid, Sean, put down the book he had been reading. He was a man of average height and similar age, pudgy but with an overall masculine physique. Which was unfortunate, since he was currently under the effects of an Illusion of Gender-Change spell that stubbornly refused to dissipate. "Do you want to play cards or something?" he said, smoothing the skirt of his dress. Sean had long since come to terms with the illusion spell, and chose to dress in a manner that matched the way the world perceived him. It was just easier that way. "No I don't want to play cards!" Barry said with a petulant tone. "Well, how about I brush your hair again?" Barry sighed theatrically before answering. "Oh... all right," she said, swinging around to sit upright before slumping forward to put her elbows on the dresser table before her. She twirled a ring around her finger as she stared listlessly in the mirror. She had a lot of rings and more than one pair of earrings on. She liked jewelry. She even liked the large square cut crystal that hung around her neck on a silken ribbon, even though she was magically unable to remove it and its blood-red color was a bitch to coordinate. Sean sat on the ottoman beside Barry and taking a silver handled brush from the dresser began to brush her hair with practiced expertise. Barry sighed again. "Are you as bored as I am?" she asked. Sean just shrugged. "It's a job," he said. Barry just sighed again. "Don't you ever wish things could be different somehow?" she said. Sean stopped in mid-stroke and looked cautiously at the back of Barry's head. "You mean like... going back to being men again?" he asked, trying to keep the interest out of his voice. "What? No! Why would I give up a sweet gig like this?" Barry said, sitting up straighter and adjusting the bodice of her dress. "Oh," Sean said with just a hint of disappointment as he resumed brushing Barry's hair. "I mean there are some disadvantages," Barry said. "But being a woman is totally worth it! I get to be the one in charge. Even in bed. Especially in bed! If you get what I'm saying." Sean did not say anything. "I mean it's sky rockets all night, whenever I want. You get me?" she asked, a wicked smile crossed her face and her eyes flashed mischievously. Sean continued brushing. "The sex really is amazing," Barry said. "I get it. I get it," Sean said, rolling his eyes and continued his brushing quietly. "So what did you mean then?" he added after a while. "Hmm?" Barry said, with her thoughts clearly on another topic. "You said you wanted things different," Sean said. "What did you mean?" "What? Oh, that. I don't know," Barry said. "I guess I just want things to happen. We used to do things. We went on adventures and fought dragons!" Sean furrowed his brow as he kept brushing Barry's hair. He could only think of one adventure involving the two of them, and that had left both of them transformed. Moreover, the only dragon they had interacted with had been on their side. Still, it was probably best to steer Barry away from planning any 'adventures' for them. Maybe he could distract her with a safer alternative. "Well, Chuck's gone to Castle Languor to consult with Yashual. Some important wizard thing or something," he said. "We could take the coach there and you could visit your father." Technically King Eric of Languor was Barry's adopted father. It was Sean's wife, the Princess Shirley or 'Chuck' as she preferred to be called, who was King Eric's biological daughter. However, both Barry and King Eric treated their relationship seriously and with growing affection. Sean rationalized the trip. After all, there were legitimate social and political reasons for Princess Barry, the Lady Sanguine, to visit the court of Languor. And of course she would need her handmaid along on the trip. The fact that he missed his wife and hated when her Wizard duties separated them had nothing to do with his suggestion. "Yeah!" Barry said, standing up with no small excitement. "The new spring fashion lines came out last month! All the new styles will be there! Yay!!!" "Oh... yeah..., yay," Sean said dryly, realizing that he had inadvertently committed himself to a marathon of dresses, shoes, underwear, and hats. "Oh, but what about your duties here at Castle Sanguine?" Sean asked, hastily. "We can't just get up and leave everything." "Phthth," Barry said. "Mordecai can handle things while we're gone. He's too afraid of Daddy to come with us anyway. We can shop till we drop!" Sean smiled in nervous agreement, unable to think of a way out of this self-imposed trap. "Yay?" he said hopefully. Maybe it would not be so bad. Maybe this time he would not have to get something pierced. His hand reached reflexively to his ears and the earrings he had been bullied into on their last shopping trip. *** The mood in King Eric's council chamber was somber. The king was there, along with his chief wizard, Yashual, and his daughter, Princess Shirley (aka 'Chuck'). The room was lit with flickering torches that cast just enough light for the trio to examine the parchment map of the eastern kingdoms spread out on the large oaken table before them. "The envoy from Rage was certain?" the king said, his hand brushing the unshaven stubble on his chin as he studied the map. He was a man of average build with graying brown hair. He was still dressed in his nightshirt but had pulled on his riding breeches when Yashual woke him. "She was most explicit, Sire," Yashual said. "Gamfel is no longer in Rage." Yashual, a tall bald man with a black goatee, was more formally dressed if one could call a traditional wizard cloak 'formal'. It was colored in the official yellow and green of Castle Languor, as was appropriate for the official mage of the castle. Today its bright colors did nothing to brighten the mood. "How did he escape?" King Eric said. "How could they let him escape?" "Perhaps we should consider the more important question of where he might be now," Yashual said, gesturing at the map. "The Urgent Forest," King Eric said in slow thoughtful tones. "It would seem so," said Yashual. "I totally know that place!" said Chuck. "We should go hunt him down." The Princess Chuck was also dressed in formal wizard attire, only her robes were in the rich burgundy and blue of Castle Sanguine and she sported a pointed wizard's cap in the same colors. Her short sandy brown hair contrasted sharply with the grey fake beard that hung near her chin secured with a pair of clearly visible strings that tied it to her hat. "No, I am not letting one of my daughters traipse through the hinterlands of a cursed forest in quest of a mad wizard. Especially one as dangerous as Gamfel. I forbid it," King Eric said. "But Daddy!" "No!" Yashual made a small coughing noise as if to clear his throat. "You have something to say, Yashual?" King Eric said. "Your concern for your daughter's safety would be a very wise and prudent reaction under most conditions, Sire," Yashual said. "But?" King Eric said. "But..." Yashual said. "There may be merit in your daughter's suggestion." "Ha!" Chuck said. "Careful now, Shirley," King Eric said, pointing a warning finger in Chuck's direction. "Sorry, Daddy," Chuck said. "Explain," King Eric said, turning back to Yashual. "Well, Sire. We know that Gamfel has left Rage," Yashual said. "And it is less than likely that he has crossed the forest and entered Ruhig. The Ruhig guards have doubled their watch and are questioning everything that moves near the borderlands. There is no doubt that Gamfel is still in the Urgent Forest, has been there for some time, and gives every indication of staying there." Yashual smiled at King Eric benignly. King Eric waited a moment for Yashual to continue. "And?" King Eric said after a while. "And there can be only one reason for a mage of Gamfel's caliber to remain in the forest this long," Yashual said. "Gamfel must be looking for the Verge of Urgent!" An awkward silence filled the room. "Wizards," King Eric muttered under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes and shook his head slowly with his eyes closed. "Okay," he said, opening his eyes again and holding his hands out to frame the image of Yashual as he addressed the wizard. "You're telling me that Gamfel can only be in the Urgent Forest because he hasn't found the edge of it yet?" "Not exactly, Sire," Yashual said. "Wait, I know this one!" Chuck said. "It's got to do with clocks, right?" "Again, not exactly," Yashual said. "If I may explain..." "Please do," King Eric said with faux enthusiasm. "Yes, well, the Urgent Forest has not always been as what it now appears to be, or rather it is not what it will always have been," Yashual said. "You see, there was a time when it was once the home of a powerful race of alchemists obsessed with time. Of course this was some time ago." "What time was that?" Chuck asked. "Was it the Early Times?" "No, it was an earlier time. It was a time before the Early Times," Yashual said. "You don't mean the Beginning Times?" Chuck asked. "No, not the Beginning Times," Yashual said. "The Beginning Times had past for some time before this time, but it was not yet time for the Early Times. This was some time before that time. A time or two at least." "When you say 'a time or two', do you mean 'a time or two Times' times or just 'a time or two times'?" Chuck asked. "Just a time or two. It was a time between the two Times," Yashual said. "Are you alright, Sire?" he added, giving King Eric a concerned look. King Eric was clasping his head again this time with both hands, but he waved Yashual to continue. "Anyway," Yashual said. "The Urgent Alchemists were obsessed with time." "You said that already," Chuck said. "Don't interrupt," Yashual said. "The Urgent Alchemists were so very obsessed with time that they created a vast array of time management techniques. They had potions to speed their mornings and pills to slow their nights. They created tables and charts to measure time using esoteric runes they called 'milestones'. They broke time down into discrete manageable blocks and committed these blocks to tasks and meetings far into the future. They filled their days before they even lived them and invited all to join them. This was their Outlook. At one point, they covered the entire world with time zones that allowed one to travel towards tomorrow or yesterday, depending on your direction of travel. The seasons themselves were subject to change so that time would spring forward or fall back for no discernible reason." "That's... nightmarish," King Eric said. "No man should live like that!" "Indeed," Yashual said. "They confounded time and space so that energy did not matter. Only time held value, value more precious than gold." "Is that when they invented the clock?" Chuck said. "The Verge," Yashual said, correcting her. "A mechanism to harness and control the movement of time. It allowed the user to set the time around him and change the past and future." "The Alchemists created such a device?" King Eric said. Yashual shrugged. "They had it in the future," he said. "Then they gave it to themselves in the past. So, who is to say exactly who created it. In either case it was their ruin." "What happened to them?" King Eric asked. "They lost track of time," Yashual said. "They made so many changes that the past, present, and future became unhinged, unconnected, and irrelevant to each other. Their entire land was eliminated from the timeline. The time before and the time after the Alchemists collapsed to fill the gap, leaving the forest as we see it now." "And now Gamfel is after this Verge?" King Eric said. "Why?" "Why not?" Chuck said. "He could undo everything that happened to him. Or pre-undo things that have yet to happen." "Indeed," Yashual said. "We may already have been defeated by what he is about to do. We must make every effort to secure the Verge." "It's a super dangerous magic thingy," Chuck said. "Dangerously unstable," Yashual said. "And of course Gamfel is dangerously unstable," Chuck said, nodding in agreement. "We have to prevent what's going to have already happened!" "I meant the Verge was dangerously unstable," Yashual said. "Not that Gamfel isn't also dangerously unstable." "Dangerously unstable!" Chuck repeated for added emphasis. "Just wait for when the future is now and the past starts to update the present so that now had never been." "All right! All right!" King Eric said, throwing his hands up in the air. "Just stop talking." King Eric thought hard, tapping the side of his chin with a finger as he did so. "I will send the army," he said. "You would send soldiers to search the trees and bushes? What will they find?" Yashual asked. "No, Sire. It takes a wizard to catch a wizard." "Preferably two wizards!" Chuck said. King Eric shot her a disapproving look. "I'm afraid she's right, Sire," Yashual said. "Chuck has shown remarkable aptitude and having an extra mage, even a junior wizard, would be a distinct advantage." "Yashual needs me, Daddy!" Chuck said. "And what do you mean JUNIOR wizard?" "Well you are," Yashual said. King Eric scowled as he studied the map again. "Go," he said, "but no unnecessary risks." "Yay!" said Chuck. "I mean it!" King Eric said. "Don't worry, Sire," Yashaul said. "We'll take every precaution." "Yeah, Daddy," Chuck said. "We'll be super careful." "By your leave, then, Sire?" Yashual said, bowing slightly. King Eric waved him on and Yashual gathered himself together to leave the room. Chuck gave a half-bow/curtsey and followed him out the door. King Eric sighed and took one more, good look at the map before he also left. Just outside the door, he was surprised to see Yashual walking by alone, carrying an oddly shaped silver crown. "Hi Daddy! Er, I mean Sire," Yashual said, bowing hurriedly before moving on. "And don't worry," Yashual added over his shoulder, "You totally made the right call!" King Eric watched him go then shook his head as he started heading back to his chambers. "Wizards," he muttered under his breath. *** "It's really quite simple," the woman said. "You just reach up into that hole and get me my necklace back." Henry was confused. The woman was young, about his age, or maybe younger. Her hair was full and thick, and jet-black in color with a lustrous sheen. Short, it hung between her ear and jaw line in large ragged lengths that looked like someone had hacked it off with a knife. The hair that was left framed an oval face with clear skin and delicate features and did nothing to detract from an elegant neck with smooth lines. Lines that blended into her sloping shoulders, half-revealed by the scoop neckline of an expensive looking black dress. Her bodice was modest but with enough curves to grab Henry's attention. Her dress had a high narrow waist that added prominence to her bodice, and a full skirt with a torn hem that would on occasion flash a glimpse of her leg above an expensive looking pair of dress boots. "Up here?" Henry said, looking up at the tree the woman had been attacking. It had been a tall tree at one point, but now was more of an overgrown stump. It stood twice as tall as Henry, broken off at the top with two or three branches left that may or may not still have signs of life. The hole the woman had pointed to was just above eye level for Henry. "Look, just reach in there and grab my ring," the woman said, sternly now with her hands on her hips. "I thought you said it was a necklace?" Henry asked. "Don't be stupid," the woman said. "How would I lose a necklace up there?" Henry wondered why losing a ring up there would have been any easier, but questioning this woman seemed somehow like the wrong thing to do. There was a flash of anger, or maybe impatience to her expression that somehow looked endearing when expressed with those big, brown eyes, little nose, and pouting lips. Deep brown eyes. And very pouty lips... Henry was not used to talking to any women, much less one as attractive as this one. Driven by that attraction and no small hint of fear from her anger, Henry reached into the hole and felt around. He immediately felt something move inside and partially withdrew his hand in surprise. "There's something alive in here!" he said. "That's just... a squirrel. The squirrel that stole my ring," the woman said. "Grab it and pull it out here." Henry was sure that was a bad idea but it was very difficult for him to disobey an attractive woman with a casual tone of expected obedience. He reached back into the hole. "Ow! It bit me!" he shouted. "Don't be a baby," the woman said. "Now grow a pair and grab it!" The woman was clearly quite cross with Henry, and Henry's fear of disappointing her was beginning to be combined with a more direct fear of what she might do. This combination was just enough to overcome his fear of the mysterious thing in the hole. Henry took a deep breath and reached back in as quickly as he could. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" he said as he snagged whatever was alive in the hole and felt its teeth clamp down repeatedly on his hands. Henry pulled it out of the hole and tried to fling it to the ground but it clung to his hand with its teeth. He had to shake his hand frantically for a while before it finally let go and hit the ground with a small thud. The woman quickly put her boot on the creature and bent over to talk to it. "All right you. Hand it over," she said. "Never!" said a small voice at her feet. Henry had been counting his fingers to ensure they were all still there, but stopped as he began to consider the implications of a talking squirrel. "I'll pop your head right off!" the woman said. Henry was convinced that she meant it and moved in closer to see whatever it was before she killed it. "All right! All right!" the small creature said. "Just let me up." The woman lifted her foot. Henry was surprised to see the squirrel was in fact a small man with a long white beard and a tall pointy red hat. "It's a dwarf!" Henry said. "I ain't no dwarf!" the small man said, dusting himself off and straightening his hat. "No, you're not," the woman said. "Our little friend here is a gnome. And he has something that belongs to me." "It don't belong to you!" the little man said. "That's gnomish property." "Stolen property," the woman said. "And it's mine once I take it from you. Now give it to me or should we resume where we left off?" "I can't. I ain't got it," the little man said. The woman raised her boot again, menacingly. "But I know where it is!" he said hurriedly. "Tell me," she said. The gnome looked around nervously. "I can tell you," he said. "But you won't find it. I'll have to show you. The fairies are holding it. They won't let your kind in there without me along as your guide." The woman looked as if she was going to follow through with her threat to stomp the little gnome anyway, but reluctantly backed down. "All right," she said. "You'll be our guide." "Then you'll let me go?" the gnome said. "We'll see," she said taking a length of cord out from some hidden pocket and tossing it to Henry. "Tie him up and let's get going," she said. Henry caught the cord and looked down at the little man. "Uh... my name's Henry," he said. "Elgie," the gnome said. "Of the Beety clan." "Elgie Beety?" Henry asked, thinking it a queer name but being too polite to say anything more. "Hurry up," the woman said with obvious impatience. "Sorry about this," Henry said as he looped several coils around the gnome's body, binding his arms at his sides. "Whatever," Elgie said. Henry quickly finished tying off the gnomes restraints into a rough harness and got up to hand the gnome over to the woman, using the cord as an improvised leash. The woman did not take the leash but turned to go instead. "Well? Are you coming?' she said turning back to address Henry with just enough sarcasm to show that saying no was unthinkable. Henry looked surprised. She wanted him to come along? Just him and this gorgeous woman with her captive gnome on some unknown adventure to who knows where? Henry thought back to his parent's cottage and the radish farm. They would miss him. He still had chores to do. The new fields needed planting. "Yes," he said, surprising himself. "Then hurry up!" the woman said. "Right!" he said, his excitement growing. He was doing something! He was on an adventure! "Hey, I don't even know your name!" he said, hurrying to catch up. "Oh for... they call me Gem," the woman said. "It'll do for now." *** "But it's dull and boring here!" Barry said. "And it's dangerous out there," Chuck said, packing various powders and potions into a rucksack. The Princess Barry and her handmaid, Sean, were in Chuck's childhood bedroom in Castle Languor. It was a lavish room with expensive furniture and fine silks as befitted a royal princess. Sean found it a little feminine for his taste but the dresser had excellent light and the wardrobes were spacious. So it made for a good apartment when visiting his father-in-law's court. Barry had her own room but she and Sean had not yet officially arrived at court. Barry had wanted to make herself presentable first and Sean was eager to be reunited with his wife. "Do you have to go?" he said. "I hoped we'd get some time together." "Can't be helped, Sweetie," Chuck said. "Important wizard business." "Gamfel," Sean said with some resignation. Chuck gave an apologetic shrug. "Gamfel!" Barry said, with much more vehemence. "I wish he was here right now. I'd punch him in the nose!" Chuck sighed impatiently. "No you don't. First off, you don't want a dangerous wizard loose right in front of you," she said. "And you definitely wouldn't just punch him in the nose. Secondly, if Gamfel were here, it would only mean he already had the Verge." "Thirdly," Barry said. "What?" Chuck said. "Thirdly," Barry said, repeating herself. "You said 'secondly' then listed three things." "No, I didn't," Chuck said. "Yes, you did," Barry said. "You said I wouldn't want him loose in front of me, I wouldn't punch him in the nose, and if he was here it was because he already had the verge." Chuck stood incredulously for a moment before answering. "The punching in the nose thing doesn't count!" she said. "It goes with the first thing." "What about the already having the Verge thing?" Sean asked. "That's four things," Barry said. "Look," Chuck said shaking her head to clear her thoughts, "It doesn't matter. "You just have to stay here while Yashual and I go after Gamfel and the Verge." "Because of that clock part?" Sean said. "It's not just a clock part," Chuck said. "There's not even an actual clock part. It's just a highly sophisticated magical item entwined with the fabric of time. We don't even have a proper name for something that can do that." "Thaumaturgical horology," Barry said. Chuck stopped packing and turned to look at Barry in surprise. Sean's jaw also dropped as he too turned to stare at Barry. "What?" Barry said looking back and forth between the two. "I read a book once, okay? It was totally not what I thought it was about." "I'm sure," Chuck said, resuming her packing. "You two have to stay here." "Hey! I'm the Lady Sanguine here," Barry said, jabbing her finger at Chuck. "You work for me, wizard!" "Don't try to pull rank on me, sister!" Chuck said. "You're still just the junior princess of Languor, and I think Daddy will have something to say about who gets to go on this quest. Do you want me to call him?" Barry scowled and fell back on the chaise with folded arms. "Hrrmph," she managed to say. "You will be careful?" Sean said with obvious concern. "Of course, Sweetie," Chuck said, gently touching Sean's cheek. "We're not going to do anything stupid. We're just going to race through an enchanted forest and beat a crazy old wizard to a super powerful magical thingy from a lost kingdom of alchemists and get back here before Gamfel undoes most of history. That's all. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Trust me." "Just... be careful," Sean said with a sigh. "I will," Chuck said, putting the final items into her rucksack and cinching it closed before slinging it onto her shoulder. "We'll be back before you know it." Barry watched quietly as Chuck and Sean embraced and made their goodbyes. Sean sighed again as he watched his wife leave then turned to see Barry sitting there with a determined look on her face. "We're totally going after them, aren't we?" he said. "Oh, heck yeah," Barry said. *** "In there?" Henry asked, pointing at a rather dubious looking hole in the ground, surrounded by deep piles of bright green moss interspersed with tiny reddish-purple looking mushrooms. The hole, filled with an inordinate number of spider webs, seemed barely big enough for his arm. "You seem to have a problem with holes," Gem said. "Well, no. It's not that. It's just that it's so small," Henry said. "Hear that a lot do you?" Elgie asked with a grin. "Quiet you," Gem said to the gnome before turning to address Henry. "It'll be big enough with his help. That's a gnomish hole, a portal to the fairly lands. Elgie here can get us in." The gnome shook his head. "Can't be done," he said. "Oh, it'll be done," Gem said looming over the gnome with a threatening air. "Love to help you, toots, but I can't," the gnome said. "One gnome can't carry two mundane lunks like you. It's a simple question of weight ratios. Conservation of magical energy and all that." The woman scowled as she considered Elgie's words. "I could take your friend here," Elgie said, gesturing at Henry with a smile. "He'd do alright in the fairy lands. Especially with me to look after him." "Me?" Henry said with a gulp. "Oh, no you don't," Gem said. "I didn't hunt you down just for this simpleton to let you go. You're taking me!" "Hey!" Henry said with indignation. "Shut up!" Gem said, clearly irritated with this turn of events. "Stay here and watch the entrance." She snatched the lead from Henry's hands and jerked Elgie in the direction of the hole. "Come on, you. Let's get going," she said. Elgie grumbled but started to walk toward the hole. Henry watched with growing awe as the woman and gnome walked away. It looked as if the two were walking toward a large cavern several hundred yards away as they grew smaller with the appearance of a distant perspective. Henry had to rub his eyes and remind himself that they were moving no more than two feet at most. The woman stopped at the entrance to the hole and turned to talk to him. "And don't eat anything!" she yelled as if from a great distance, before disappearing in the hole. Now alone, Henry looked at the unremarkable forest scene around him. A few birds called out and the wind was gently rustling the treetops. He looked back at the hole, then back at the trees. Not knowing what else to do, he plunked down beside the hole on the soft moss and sighed. "Watch the entrance. Don't eat anything," he said aloud. "Who does she think she is?" Henry frowned at the ordinary forest around him. "Some adventure," he said. Thinking of food made his stomach rumble. It had been some time since he last ate. Whoever this woman was, she did not seem overly concerned with rations. He did have some traveler's biscuits in his pouch. Only a fool wandered the woods without an emergency food supply. He could eat them now, but she did say not to eat anything. Maybe she was planning a big meal later on. Henry's stomach rumbled again. He could eat just one biscuit. That would take the edge off without spoiling his appetite for later. She would never know. But she did say not to. "Heck with this," Henry said, taking the wrapped packet of biscuits from his pouch. Who was she anyway, telling him what to do? He very carefully took only one biscuit out before returning the packet to his pouch. Henry hesitated for a minute before taking a bite. He chewed quietly feeling very naughty and independent. Maybe this would turn out to be a real adventure after all. They did catch a gnome and that was definitely magic the way they disappeared into that hole. Definitely an adventure. Who knows what could happen next? Henry looked at the hole expectantly but nothing happened. He took another bite of the biscuit and studied the area around him in more detail. It was a typical forest clearing, if maybe a little shaded. Definitely moisture in the area, which explained the mosses which reached almost the entire way into the tree line before giving way to an understory of ferns. Tiny reddish-purple mushrooms clustered near the mouth of the hole. Further out were some fist-sized white mushrooms growing in a line. Henry noticed the line of white mushrooms arced around the hole to form a complete circle of some fifteen yards radius with Henry and the hole at the center. There was an odd stillness about the glade. This puzzled Henry but it took him two more bites before he realized that the birds had stopped singing and the breeze had died down. There did seem to be some movement. There was a faint glimmer in the forest that seemed to be growing brighter. Henry felt the small hairs rise on the back of his neck. There was definitely something out there! Henry stood up, his heart thumping, and his biscuit forgotten. He nearly jumped out of his boots when he heard a giggle. It was a girlish giggle; friendly and unthreatening except for it being out of place in the middle of an enchanted forest. He was not sure he heard it at first until the second one from the other side of the circle. This was followed by a third and a fourth giggle from all around him. Henry's head darted left and right. His heart was in his throat, not knowing what to expect. He was at near panic until he caught a glimpse of a face peering around the trunk of a tree. It was a woman, or a girl, definitely female. She was smiling and giggling, and... and beautiful. Short hair and delicate features grinned at him. She was dressed in green, and darted back out of sight. Other faces soon peered out at him from the woods. There were five of them. Not identical, but equivalent with a deep burning beauty that caught Henry's breath. Henry was transfixed as they stepped into the ring with graceful movements and wide smiles. He had never seen so many beautiful women in one place, and so scantily dressed. They seemed dressed in leaves and vines that revealed their form while leaving details strategically hidden. Their shirts may have been short dresses. It was hard to tell, as the leaves and stems moved independently as the girls got closer. They had ankle boots made of leaves but their lower regions were scandalously exposed but for a short skirt or shorts. It was not clear where shirt and shorts met or differentiated. The vines shifted over the girls as they moved, alternatively revealing and covering bare shoulders and bare midriffs. Henry was incredibly aroused as the girls reached him, caressing him and cooing as they touched his clothes and caressed his face. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to let them undo the buttons of his shirt and run their hands over his chest. One of them produced a gourd and passed it around. It seemed rude not to share their drink. It tasted sweet and gave Henry a slight euphoric feeling. He was momentarily surprised by the attention they gave his pants and boots but one of them handed him the gourd again and he relented as the girls removed the rest of his clothes and undergarments. This was awesome! He barely noticed as three of the girls laid boughs of vines across his shoulders and around his waist while the other two wrapped leaves around his feet. The girls laughed and started to dance around him. Henry found he desperately wanted to laugh along with them and he too started to dance. Henry could not remember ever feeling such joy as he danced along with the girls, the vines and leaves shifting over him as he moved. His feet felt light as air in the ankle boots. The gourd came around again and he drank and laughed as he passed it on to the next girl in line. He found it funny that his shirt looked like hers with his shoulders and midriff flashing naked through the moving vines. It was also funny the way his exposed legs poked out of the short skirt of leaves that rustled as he danced. He was still laughing as the girls danced with him through the hole in the ground. *** Mordecai was in a good mood as he drained the last of the wine from his goblet. His wife was away on some sort of shopping trip or something and had left him in charge. He had donned his most regal of outfits and borrowed a few of her more manly gems before setting up an impromptu court at the main dining hall. Once there, he had ordered an assortment of meats and drink, which he mostly did not share with the small group of courtiers and lobbyists assembled. Life was good. He was in charge. He could do anything he wanted. He savored the thought of all the guards, servants, and everyone else in the castle placed under his authority. He was especially savoring the serving girl refilling his wine. She was a busty girl with the plumpness of youth on her. Her hair was dark, tied in a braid and held back with a headscarf. She wore a simple peasant work dress and filled his wine from a large jug. "You're new here aren't you?" he asked her, staring mostly at her chest. "No, Sir Mordecai," she said with the bored indifference of someone doing a job. "Been here a couple of years now. Your wife brought me on. Said she liked my sweet cakes." Mordecai winced slightly at the mention of his wife. "That's Lord Sanguine," he said, gently correcting the girl. "Excuse me, Sir Mordecai?" she asked. "Lord Sanguine, you called me Sir Mordecai," he said. "Oh," the girl said with a puzzled look on her face. "I thought King Eric only knighted you when you married his daughter." "Yes, he did that BECAUSE I married his daughter," he said, trying to maintain his patience. "I married the Lady Sanguine making me the LORD Sanguine." "Oh, LORD Sanguine is it then," she said rolling her eyes upwards and mimicking his tone. "Silly me, I thought a man had to earn his own title. Not marry into it like some blushing bride." "Hey!" Mordecai said, half rising from his seat. "You watch your tongue, woman!" "Oh forgive me LORD Sanguine," she said in overly theatrical tones. "Please forgive this foolish woman for questioning the peerage of a LORD." "Insolent wench," he said gritting his teeth and rising fully. "I should throw you in the dungeon!" "Aye, you could do that," the girls said. "Of course, then you'd have to explain to the Lady Sanguine that she can't have her sweet cakes because you wanted to be called 'Lord'." Mordecai sank back into his chair, deflated. Barry did love her sweet cakes. "Will there be anything else, LORD Sanguine?" the girl said, curtseying with exaggerated movements. "Perhaps some crumpets with tea?" "No, nothing," he said, simmering as the girl left with a smirk. Mordecai sat there grumbling about his wife. Even when she was in the next kingdom over, she still kept yanking his chain. What did a man have to do to get away from a controlling bitch like that? "Sir Mordecai! A message from your wife!" This was shouted by a young courier dressed in the yellow and green garb of Castle Languor and carrying a large scroll. The lad pushed his way through the small crowd of courtiers to the table where Mordecai sat. "Sir Mordecai," the courier repeated, kneeling before him. "That's Lord Sanguine," Mordecai said through clenched teeth. "Excuse me?" the courier said. "LORD SANGUINE!" Mordecai shouted loud enough to echo slightly off the walls. The hall fell silent. "Oh," the courier said, standing up straight and scratching his head. "I thought King Eric only knighted you when you married his daughter." "Yes, we all know what King Eric did or did not do," Mordecai said, calming his voice down and glancing around the room with a nervous smile. "I mean," the courier went on in obvious confusion, "one doesn't automatically get a royal title just through marriage. Well men don't, anyway. Obviously a woman..." "You said you had a message!" Mordecai said, interrupting the courier. "Hmm? Oh, yeah," the courier said. The courier unrolled the scroll and held it before him, then stood up straighter, cleared his throat and started to read aloud. --- From the hand of Her Royal Highness Princess Barry of Languor, daughter of King Eric the benevolent, and third in line to the throne of Languor, Lady of Castle Sanguine and all its lands, Keeper of the Heart of Sanguine, Grand Dame of the Order of the Dragon, Honorary Herzogin von Ruhig, Honorary Marquise de la Tranquille, Defender of the Peace on the Plains of Confusion, To Sir Mordecai (consort); Dear Mordie, You're going to have to take care of the castle a little longer than I thought. Sean and I are going to the Urgent Forest. Chuck and Yashual have lit off after some sort of magical thingy and we're going to follow them. We have to get it before Gamfel does or everything could go kablooey. Don't know how long we'll be gone. Do pick up a little around the castle, I know how you get when you're alone. And try to be nice to the staff. Also, have Judy ready some sweet cakes for when we get back. She knows the ones I like. Your Princess, Barry. --- With that, the courier rolled the scroll back up and stood at attention holding it at his side. Mordecai blinked a couple of times as the courier's words sunk in. Barry was going into the Urgent Forest? With Sean? On some harebrained quest that was probably dangerous? She could be gone for weeks. Maybe months! A smile crossed his face as he slowly rose to his feet and walked over toward the courier. The castle was his for even longer, maybe much longer. What if she never came back? The Urgent Forest was a dangerous place. Anything could happen to her! A giggle escaped his lips, which he did his best to stifle. There was no way he could stifle the smile, though. "Well, that's quite a letter," he said, giggling again. "It appears my darling wife will be delayed for some time. I of course, am fully prepared to lead the good people of Sanguine in the interim. " Mordecai swaggered even closer to the courier and wrapped one arm around the lad's shoulders. "Here my good lad," he said, reaching into his pocket for a coin. "Something for your troubles." "Gee, a whole farthing," the courier said in rather flat tones. "Think nothing of it," Mordecai said. He was still thinking about Barry being far away in potential danger and had not picked up on the couriers tone. His mind focused on a potential future as sole ruler of Sanguine. A bright and happy future for him was finally in sight! For once, things were going his way. "Sir Mordecai! A message from King Eric!" A second young courier also dressed in yellow and green and also carrying a large scroll pushed his way through to the table where Mordecai stood. "Lord Sanguine," he said, irritation creeping back into his voice. "What?" the second courier said. "Lord Sanguine! Call me Lord Sanguine!" Mordecai said. "Huh," the second courier said. "I thought only women could claim a title by marrying the royal family." "That's what I said!" the first courier said, nodding in vigorous agreement. "Just read me the message!" Mordecai said. "Er, it's marked 'private official business'. I'm not supposed to even read this, never mind read it aloud," the second courier said. "Nonsense," Mordecai said. "We're all friends here. It is certainly nothing unusual for His Majesty to send me a very important communication. He probably needs my opinion on some important matter of state. I'm sure the court here would be interested." There was a general murmur of agreement from the small group of people in the hall. "All right," the second courier said with a shrug as he unrolled the scroll, held it before him and began to read. --- Mordecai, I realize that I do not often ask things of you. This is because I have learned not to invite disappointment. In fact, I cannot remember a past incident where you did not disappoint me. If not for my daughter, I would have had you drawn and quartered long before this. Still, these are dark times and I need to be sure you are watching over my Princess Barry. Dangerous forces are afoot and it is imperative that she not travel beyond the fair lands of Sanguine. Alas, my daughter is a headstrong girl and likely to do the opposite of what I ask. Therefore, I command you to use all your wiles to ensure she not travel and remain safe there in Sanguine. King Eric P.S. Fail me in this and I will personally feed you to the dogs. --- The second courier finished reading and looked up cautiously. The room was quiet. Mordecai licked his lips reflexively for a time or two, and then his eyes darted around the room while his body stood there frozen in place. "CRAP!!!" he shouted, then turned and ran out the room. The entire court turned to watch him run down the hallway, his footsteps echoing into the distance. *** "I don't hear anything," Chuck said. She and Yashual were in a clearing with a rock outcropping in the middle of the Urgent Forest. Both of them had their ears planted against a rock face. "That is because you are listening with your ears," Yashual said. He had his eyes closed and a contemplative look on his face as his hands roamed over the rock as if searching for something. "Oh," Chuck said, rubbing the side of her nose in thought. "What should I be listening with?" "You must hear it resonating inside you," Yahsual answered. "You mean like an inner ear?" she asked. "No," Yashual said. "Your inner ear is still part of your outer ear." "Riiiiiiight," Chuck said, winking at Yashual. "You're testing me again, aren't you?" "Shhh," Yashual said. "Concentrate on your breathing and let your awareness grow." Chuck did as instructed, although a little skeptically, and after a few routine breathing exercises she did notice a sort of vibration coming from the rock. It was not quite hearing, but it could still be called a noise. "I hear it," she said. "Good," Yashual said. "Now try to find a rift in that sound. An edge. The scar where time closed in." Chuck searched with her hands and that inner resonance until she and Yashual converged on a seam of rock between them. "Here," Yashual said. "Do you feel it?" Chuck nodded her agreement. It felt like a fissure to her awareness that cut through the rock even though her fingers could only feel smooth stone. "Good," Yashual said. "Now we peel it back. Keep attention on your breath and move as you feel it slip." Chuck concentrated and tried not to be too startled as Yashual dug his fingers into the rock face. She was almost as surprised when her own fingers curled around the edge of something that was part of the rock. Yashual move back and seemingly started to pull the face of the rock wall aside as if moving a heavy curtain. Chuck felt it loosed and she too started to peel back rock. She caught glimpse of a silvery reflective surface which grew as she and Yashual moved apart. It took work and the greater part of an hour to finish the task, but when they were finished Chuck and Yashual stood in front of mirror-like surface with indeterminate edges. "What is it?" she said. "A backdoor into the land of the Fae," he said. "And another reason I wanted you along on this quest." "It's kind of a mirror, isn't it," she said. "Indeed," Yashual said, nodding with maybe the hint of smugness on his face. "Why does my reflection look like you and your reflection look like me?" she asked. "Because this is a two-way mirror," Yashual said. "Ah," Chuck said nodding. She experimented a little by waving her right arm and watching her Yashual-looking reflection wave his left arm in perfect synchrony. "That doesn't really explain anything," she said. "It's an alchemical construct," Yashual said, "based on the duality of man and the universe. It is quantum linked to this universe with uncertain reality. Since it both does and does not exist, it serves as a portal." "Right," Chuck said, still nodding and deep in thought. "You say it's a mirror?" "A two-way mirror," Yashual added. "And anyone can use this to travel to Fairyland?" "With two limitations," Yashual said. "You can only travel in pairs and you will take on the form and essence of your reflection." "That's funny," Chuck said, pointing at her Yashual-looking reflection. "It sounded like you said we'd become each other." "That is why I wanted another wizard along on this trip," Yashual said. "That way we maintain our access to magic." "WHAT!?!?" Chuck said. "You mean if we go through that, then I'll be you and you'll be me?" "I'm afraid so," Yashual said, adjusting his cloak and watching his Chuck-like reflection do the same. "Isn't there some other way to get to Fairyland?" Chuck said, looking at her Yashual-like reflection with trepidation. "Yes, but none faster," Yashual said. "Gamfel has a considerable head start on us. The time saved here will be worth the inconvenience of the female form." "Inconvenience of...," Chuck said, starting to feel vaguely insulted. "Look here, mister! It won't be all gravy for me being you, you know! I'll be like... all tall... and stuff..." "Hey," she said with growing realization. "I'll be all tall and stuff!" "Try not to hit my head on things," Yashual said. "I intend to return this way." "I make no promises," Chuck said as she and Yashual clasped hands and stepped into the mirror. They vanished without fanfare. One moment there were two wizards in front of a giant silver mirror, the next there was an empty glade and a rock face that looked like it had never been anything else. *** Henry woke up naked and confused, not certain where he was. He had a vague memory of girls dressed in green and a game of grab ass. He also had a headache, which made it difficult to concentrate. There were definitely girls, and they were... dancing, or something. Yeah, that was it. They were dancing. And... something else. What else did he remember? Well if they were dancing, there had to be music. Wouldn't there? There was a tune, he remembered that. He just could not place the name, or the rhythm, or the tempo. It hung there in the back of his mind, like a song he should know. Whatever it was, it had been pretty intoxicating. The girls had gone wild when it played. He remembered that. Clothes had come off, and arms and legs had intertwined and rubbed against thighs... ass... boobs... Son of a gun, he had been in an orgy! At least, he thought so. It was still kind of hazy, like a wakeful dream. He definitely remembered one of the girls hooking up with this really hairy guy. It was a shame he could not remember more details. His first orgy and his memory of it was shot. Still, his first orgy. That was no small deal. This adventure was paying off big time. The sun broke through the overhanging trees and played over Henry's naked limbs. It felt delicious. The warmth seemed to give him strength and drive his headache away. It made him feel very much alive. The warmth and the memories of the night before were coming together to give him some serious morning wood. He idly wondered if any of the girls were still around. Henry stretched languidly along the moss-covered ground and turned his cheek to nuzzle his pillow. His wonderful, warm, soft, hairy pillow. Henry's pillow moved and a very big and very hairy right arm slung around his shoulder to pat him on the buttocks. "Gaaahh!!" Henry shouted, leaping to his feet and darting behind a nearby tree. He hung there for a while, his heart thumping in his chest. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him and he peaked around the tree trunk. He saw a very large and hairy man softly snoring beside where he had lain. At least most of him looked like a man. The horns and goat hooves gave him more of a goat-man look. The goat-man was also naked and sporting a highly significant morning wood of his own. One of the girls from the night before was sleeping softly tucked up under the goat-man's left arm and nuzzling his chest. She too was completely naked. Henry's eyes darted, panic stricken around the glade. There were three of the goat-men; all naked and asleep. Each had two of the girls from the night before clinging to them, except for the one that had held Henry. He only had one girl. This was rapidly becoming too much for Henry. He had to get dressed and get out of there. His panic grew as he realized none of his clothes were in sight. All he saw were the discarded leaves and vines that the girls had used as clothes when he had first seen them. He had to wear something. He examined the nearest pile of leaves and vines, it was a shirt of sorts. He pulled that on and it flowed to fit his body. He looked a little further and found what he thought was shorts. However, pulling them on, they proved more mutable. They moved as he moved and sometimes they looked like shorts and sometimes they looked more like a skirt, but they did provide cover. A pair of the leaf boots completed his outfit and he slunk out of the glade with speed and caution. He did not stop until he was a good two hundred yards away. He stopped, bent over, breathing hard, grasping his head and trying to get a grip on what had happened. "Dear God, what are you wearing?" Henry looked up in panic to see Elgie and Gem looking at him. Gem had her hands on her hips and a disapproving look on her face. "I can explain," he said. "No wait, I can't." "You ate something, didn't you?" she said. "Just a biscuit," he said. "Unbelievable," Gem said then turned to address the gnome at her side. "In the middle of a fairy ring he eats a biscuit." "They don't teach nothing in school these days," Elgie said. "I didn't see the harm," Henry said. "You didn't see the harm?" Gem said. "And now you're standing there wearing fairy clothes. Do you see the harm now?" Henry tugged on the leaves and vines that made up his clothes. He also crossed one foot in front of the other in an ineffectual attempt to hide his footwear. "I didn't want to be naked and these were the only clothes around," he said. "Don't you have some pants I can wear?" "If I had pants, don't you think I would wear them?" Gem said. "I've got an extra pair," Elgie said. "But I don't think they'll fit you." "I'll just find something then," Henry said. "In Fairyland?" Gem said, incredulously. "You do have a death wish." Henry looked around anxiously. "Elgie," Gem said. "Check him out. How bad is it? Are they sprite clothes?" "Worse than that," Elgie said, getting a good sniff of Henry. "Smells more like nymphs." "Nymphs, eh?" Gem said, rubbing her chin in thought. "Nymphs?" Henry asked. "It gets even worse," Elgie said. "I think he's bonded." "Bonded?" Henry asked. "Well, that won't slow us down too much, unless we run into some satyrs." "Satyrs?" Henry asked. "Yeah, you know," Elgie said. "Horns, goat legs, pan flutes, got a thing on for nymphs?" "Flutes?" Henry asked. "Believe me," Gem said. "You in particular do not want to dance to that tune." "Tune?" Henry asked. "Get a grip on yourself," Gem said, clearly irritated with Henry. "So you bonded with some plant species somewhere and you're stuck wearing nymph clothes. It could be worse. You could have slept with a satyr, then you'd be screwed." "I see what you did there," Elgie said, chuckling. "Shut up!" Gem said, giving the rope a jerk before handing it over to Henry. "Take this," she said. "As long you're here, you watch him. Now come on, we've wasted enough time." Henry trudged along quietly with Elgie scurrying at his side to keep up. "Hey," he said to the gnome after a long quiet period. "What, uh... what, um... uh.. what exactly would happen?" he said to the gnome, quiet enough that Gem would not hear. Elgie looked thoughtful for a good long time. "What would happen when?" he asked. "You know," Henry said, starting to blush despite himself. "With satyrs... and nymphs." "Oh, you mean SEX!" Elgie said. "Shhh!" Henry said. "Yeah, that. What would happen to... me. If... if that happened. Hypothetically, I mean! Not that I would ever do that." "Not that you'd have much of a choice," Elgie said with a snort. "Once those pan pipes start playing, nymphs just roll over and spread their..." "All right! All right! I get it!" Henry said. "Just tell me. What would happen?" Elgie smiled wickedly before answering. "Did you ever hear the expression 'Clothes Make the Man'?" he asked. "Yeah?" Henry said. "Well that can be literally true here," Elgie said. "Oh," Henry said. "Ohhhhhh!!!" he added after a moment. "Magic is a messy business," Gem said without turning around. **** "Try pushing!" Barry called from the seat of the buggy. "I am pushing!" Sean called back. He was at the rear end of the buggy, trying to get them out of the mud. "Well, push harder," Barry said. "Well, push harder," Sean echoed in a mocking sing-song voice. The mud from the road was ruining his dress and his travelling boots were getting caked with sticky mud. "What?" Barry called back. "Nothing!" Sean said. "It's too heavy! Did you have to bring so much stuff?" He and Barry were deep in the Urgent Forest following a trail that Barry swore she remembered but that did not look at all familiar to Sean. The trail had started strong but eventually petered out to the semi-dry sinkhole of a ford in which they were currently mired. And mired they were. The carriage axles were buried and mud was threatening to slosh into the cargo and passenger areas with every exertion of the lone horse harnessed to the front of the buggy. Similarly, Sean's efforts to push from the back of the buggy had no impact on their mobility. "I don't know what you're talking about," Barry said with a sniff. "You have five chests of clothes along!" Sean said. "Okay, two of those have some of your stuff in them," Barry said. "The rest are essentials." "Essentials?" Sean said. "You have one chest filled with shoes!" "Shoes AND boots," Barry said. "Not to mention those low cut slippers for evenings when you just want to walk around comfortable like." "Well, those are important," Sean said grudgingly. "But what about those two chests with dresses in them?" "What about them?" Barry said. "There's morning wear, evening wear, casual wear, not to mention the sporty looks. Plus I need more than one of each for any serious adventuring." "Okay, you may have a point," Sean said. "But what about this chest? What's in this one?" "Under things mostly, plus stockings," Barry said. "Really? A whole chest?" Sean said. "Well, I am a princess," Barry said with a dismissive shrug. "Plus it gets so hot and sweaty on these outings and who knows when we'll find a decent laundress." "Clean underwear does feel nice," Sean said, nodding thoughtfully. "And we probably won't find a laundress anytime soon." "See? Bare essentials!" Barry said. "Okay, but I still need a break," Sean said. "How about I let the horse out to graze and we rest in the shade a bit?" "Fine," Barry said with exaggerated reluctance. "It's not like we're in a hurry to save the world or anything." Sean unhitched the horse and let the tired animal graze nearby under a loose hobble while Barry plunked herself down in the shade of a large willow tree. "I'm beat," Sean said, joining her, sighing as he smoothed out his skirt and plunked down beside Barry. "And my feet are killing me." "Nobody told you to wear heels," Barry said, leaning back into the grassy ground with one arm behind her head for a pillow. "You told me that!" Sean said. "You tell me that all the time!" "Well, you are a member of the royal court," Barry said, waving her free hand dismissively. "And how you look is a direct reflection on me. Anyway, nobody told you to wear boots." "We're in the woods! What should I be wearing? Slippers?" "You could have gone with a short boot, or more of a Ghillie style like these," Barry said lifting her feet into the air and tapping her heels together. "Or at least something you've worn before. Those calf boots you have on look brand new. No wonder your feet hurt." Sean self-consciously pulled his feet in close and ran his fingers lightly over the fine leather. "They're cute," he said with a defensive tone, "and they look great with this dress." "That is a good look," Barry said, nodding in agreement. "I approve. A noble woman must weigh style over comfort." Sean sighed. He had grown used to being treated as a woman but he still felt an urge to correct anyone making direct reference to his apparent gender. Not that it did much good. He knew what he looked like and had long since given up on the reflex to declare his manhood. "So how are we going to find them?" he said, intentionally changing the topic. "Find who?" Barry asked. "Find who? Who do you think!" Sean said, a little more crossly than he had intended. "Chuck and Yashual! You know... the whole reason we're out here?" "You worry too much," Barry said, leaning back and stretching out to rest her head on both arms now. "Besides, we don't need to find them. We just need to find what everyone is looking for and wait for them to come to us."