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I Wear Panties for I am a Sissy
By
Sarah Goodwoman.
Chapter 1
Cecilia Hawkins was driving over to Sally Crawford's house for afternoon
tea. She could not wait to have some of those delicious scones with
clotted cream and jam. Cecilia was happy that Sally has recently opened a
new bakery, Sweetie Sally's Sweets. Now she could get her friends
delicious pastries anytime she wanted. Having easy access to them was
great but it is not the same as having them with her dear friend, Sally.
Cecilia did wonder where Sally had the time to do open the bakery, for she
also owned Sassy Sally's Spa and Salon, a beauty salon which cater to both
girl and 'girls', and Sally's Sensational Speakeasy, a trans friendly bar.
Cecilia concluded Sally threw herself into more work to deal with her
breakup with Faye Brickell. She then jokingly wondered if Sally would ever
open a business without her name in it.
Cecilia rang the doorbell and was greeted by a big hug and a bigger smile
from Sally. Then Sally kissed her friend on the cheek and told her to come
on in. Sally offered to take her coat and told Cecilia to make herself at
home in the dining room.
Cecilia did marvel at how great of a hostess Sally was. Sally could make
anyone feel welcome. This was for she had a genuine interest in other
people, and her wanting to know who they were made them feel special.
Sally loved to find out anyone's life story. In Sally's mind knowing how a
person views their past told you who they are and where they are going.
Cecilia sat at the dining room and Sally came out with a silver serving
tray with the afternoon tea on it. As Sally was pouring Cecilia's tea the
hostess asked her guest how she has been. Cecilia smiled and said fine,
then quickly changed the topic by mentioning how much she loved that
serving tray.
Hearing how short answer along with Cecilia loving the serving tray added
to Sally concern. Sally knew that no one loved a serving tray. Sally did
want to see her good friend, it has been a while since they had quality
one on one time. Spending time with Cecilia was not the reason she invited
her over. Sally's good friend, Ruby Rose, told her that she saw Cecilia
and was called a whore by her. It was just strange for those two really
hit it off when they met a couple of months ago, so Sally needed to know
why
Sally sat down after pouring her own tea and while offering cream or sugar
to Cecilia asked her what was wrong. She might be concerned about how
Cecelia talked to Ruby but that issue can wait. She needed to know what
was bugging Cecilia. Cecilia responded, "Nothing is wrong dear, now tell
me where you got that serving tray, like I said I love it."
Chapter 2
Cecilia should have known she was not going get Sally to quit inquiring
about what was bothering her, but was too embarrassed to talk about it.
Cecilia wanted a sissy as a boyfriend. She has became fascinated with
sissies ever since Sally ex-girlfriend, Faye, had her come over to a
party. That was where she was introduced to the subculture of sissies.
Cecilia marveled at how hyperfeminine the girls were. She also enjoyed how
readily sissies accepted and took on the role of the woman in a
relationship. Cecilia admired how attuned a sissy was to other people's
wants and need. She swore once they knew a person, a sissy knew what that
person would want before they did. Plus, they were all just so sweet.
At first, Cecilia was uncomfortable at the party, she wished that Faye
would have told her exactly what the party was. She was going to leave
right away but Sally, being the hostess with the mostess, insistent that
she stayed. Cecilia did not want to offend Sally so she decided to stay
for a little while and leave.
Cecilia made camp in the corner and nursed a glass of white wine. At first
all the giggling she heard from the 'girls' made her a little uneasy. She
assumed it was forced and they were making a mockery of women. Then, after
paying attention, Cecilia heard how natural their laughter was and started
to see their actions differently. These 'girls' were so happy and
celebrating that they could giggle and be who they were without judgement.
Cecilia's mind started to be more open to her surrounding for she was
feeling more at ease around these people. She noticed the clothing and
makeup. Just by seeing what the 'girls' were wearing, she could tell they
took great care in picking out their outfits. Those sissies were proud of
how they looked. They were dressing for themselves and not to impress
others. She knew, they also wanted to impress others but that was a
secondary issue to them.
Finally, she started to hear the 'sissies' around her talking. She notice
that almost all of the 'girls' mentioned that how they could not hide who
they were once someone with a strong personality pointed out they were a
'sissy' to them. Then the next thing they said was how happy those 'girls'
they found out the big 'sissies' they were. She laughed to herself when
she heard one of them talking about how she was a biker before being put
in panties.
As she was about to take the last sip of her wine and leave the party, one
of the 'girls' dressed like a 50's style housewife, a sleeveless
shirtwaist dress with pearl a necklace, came up to her and asked her if
Cecilia if she needed a refill. Cecilia waited a second to give a response
and was going to respectfully decline when the 'girl' told her not to be
silly, stay and those two can chat some. Cecilia was surprised at her
server knowing what she was about to say before she did, so she said yes.
Her new friend came back with two glasses of wine and introduced herself
as Ruby Rose. They started to chat and Cecilia found Ruby was a delight to
be around. Ruby was upbeat, confident, charming and she listen to Cecilia.
Cecilia was fond of that Ruby did not make the conversation all about
herself but about also about her new friend. Ruby was talking with her,
not at her. Cecilia found it refreshing that a guy, even if the guy was a
'girl', was so good at communicating.
During their conversation, a couple of Ruby's friends came over to see
her. To one of them Ruby mention that she was with a man this past weekend
and she was such a whore. They both giggled and Ruby's friend said she
knew.
Hearing the whore comment made Cecilia a little sad, she knew she was
getting a crush on her new friend and her new friend was into men. Cecilia
also knew it was just a fantasy for she had a man and also if she did not,
she could never date a, "sissy," She then asked herself if she could. Nah,
there was just something about a man being all man. It might not be as
rewarding with the personal connection, but a real man so got her blood
going. Getting the blood going was worth the sacrifice of not feeling
close to her man. Not having that personal connection was not a big deal.
Cecilia made herself believe close personal relationships were what woman
had girlfriends for.
Cecilia withdrew from the conversation and Ruby asked her what was wrong.
Cecilia was trying to figure out how to answer the question without
embarrassing herself or Ruby. While trying to find the right words, Ruby
said, "Hon, I am a lesbian if anything, men are for fun, women are for
relationships. He was just for fun and we were playing."
Cecilia turned beet red, how did Ruby know Cecilia had a little crush on
her? Also, just how upfront Ruby was with her sex life. After she got over
the shock, Cecilia found how easy Ruby said it was refreshing. It disarmed
Cecilia inhibitions
All during their time together Ruby looked out for Cecilia wants and
needs. She got them from standing in the corner to sitting down. Made sure
that Cecilia glass was always filled and got them a plate of hors
d'oeuvre. When Ruby put down the plate she said, "Cecilia, dear the crab
puffs are all for you. I am just saying this so you can savor them and not
rush to eat them."
Cecilia wonder how did Ruby know that she loved Sally's crab puffs. Then
she remember that she quickly mention that a couple of hours ago when
someone walked by them eating one. While they were enjoying each other's
company and Ruby was so supportive of Cecilia. Ruby was so happy to hear
that her new friend had a great man.
Ruby was upfront and said she was a little disappointed about Cecilia had
a man. The sissy wanted to try to get to know Cecilia better, but still
wanted to be her friend. Cecilia loved hearing that and knew that those
two would stay in contact. While talking Faye pulled Cecilia away to have
a chat.
Faye wanted to hear all about the budding relationship between Cecilia and
Ruby. She also wanted to sell Cecilia more on how great, "sissies" are.
Faye loved sissies for the same reasons why Cecilia was fascinated by
them. Cecilia became aware of how much she would like to be in the
leadership role of a relationship. Cecilia told Faye how special she felt
just by spending time with Ruby. Then, Faye brought up how the intimacy
came from a spiritual place instead of the physical and feeling special
came from that connection starting to form. Cecilia knew that she would
adore that kind of a connection.
Even with Faye convincing Cecilia about the joy and benefits of having a
sissy boyfriend, Cecilia was so in love with Neil, her man. Faye told her
not to worry all men have a sissy in them, all that Cecilia needed to do
was to bring that, "girl" out in him. Faye then informed Cecilia she would
tell her how to do so if she ever came to her senses and wanted the best
of both worlds from her boyfriend.
After the conversation, Cecilia went to find Ruby to exchange phone
numbers but she was nowhere to be found. Faye had Cecilia away longer than
was expected and Ruby was gone. Sally saw her friend scanning the room and
asked her what she was looking for. Cecilia desperately said her new
friend Ruby. Sally was happy that Cecilia made a connection with someone,
for people could never have enough friend, so she was sad to inform her
that Ruby left for her ride wanted to get home. Sally did inform Cecilia
that Ruby wanted her to know that she usually go to Sally's Sensational
Speakeasy.
Cecilia left the party, upset that she did not get to spend more time with
Ruby for Cecilia would never go to the Speakeasy. She was not going to
asked for Ruby's number for Ruby would have told Sally to give it to her.
Cecilia also was not going to be upfront and tell Sally to give Ruby her
number, for that would send mixed signals.
Chapter 3
Sally knew that she was not going to get anywhere in finding out what was
on her friend's mind with a direct line of questioning. Even with the
doubt that it would give her did doubt iher any information,but had to be
upfront with her friend at first. Sally did not want to have to pry to
find out what was wrong with her dear friend.
.
Sally did what she did best, learn about her friend. Talking about what
was new in their life would be how Sally found out what was wrong with her
friend. It might tie into why she called Ruby a slut. Sally asked Cecilia
how Neil was doing.
Cecilia sighed and said, "Sally, he broke up with me."
Sally was starting to get a picture of what happened with Cecilia and
Ruby. Cecilia must have been mad and just in a off handed manner said slut
when Ruby was talking about her sex life. Ruby's fantasy was being a
whore, to get paid for sex. With how open Ruby is about her sex life, she
might have talked about turning a "trick" and that led Sally saying slut.
Sally knew her friend was not mean and will clear this up by explaining to
Cecilia that Ruby never really turned any, "tricks". It was all part of
play, Cecilia would know Ruby was hooking up with a regular man and he
would, "pay" her for sex. They were not a couple, just sex buddies.
Neither of them have been with anyone else since Ruby turned her first
trick on him. That explanation can wait, now she has to make sure Cecilia
was doing good about the breakup..
While reaching out to give Cecilia her hand Sally said, "I am here for you
dear. I wish you would have called me about it. I would have made sure I
had time for you."
Hearing her friend's sweet comforting words and Sally being a sissy, made
Cecilia want to talk about what happened between her and Neil. How he made
a mountain out of a molehill about the gift she gave him. It would make
her feel better and Sally could help her find a sissy to date.
Cecilia said, "Neil acted irrationally when I bought him the cutest bra
and panties. He told me I was crazy and just got up and left. He did not
say another word to me. That jerk never returned my phone calls. How could
he be that mean to me?"
Sally was confused, why would Cecilia buying some sexy lingerie to wear
for Neil provoke that reaction. "Really, you bought some sexy lingerie to
wear for him and he just disappeared like that?"
Cecilia laughed and that made Sally even more confused. "Oh no dear, I
should have been clearer. The bra and panties were for him to wear. Men,
sometimes I do not understand them."
Sally shook her head and out her hand on her forehead in disbelief and
asked, "Why would you do that dear? Neil is all man."
Cecilia responded, "Oh you know that party you and your ex, Faye, had;
while I found out that night I wanted a sissy. Faye told me that all men
had a sissy in them so I just wanted to bring that wonderful 'girl' out in
him. I guess he was not ready to be more in touch with his feminine side.
Still, he could have returned my calls. That was just rude of him."
Sally rolled her eyes. Faye did not do enough to explain sissies to
Cecilia. That Faye was lost in the all the roleplaying and Cecilia took it
at face value. Sally was irked at her ex, Faye told her that she explained
the party to Cecilia.
Sally responded, "Dear, it was not rude of him to not call you back, he
probably thinks you are crazy. Giving him panties and a bra to wear also
was an insult to who he is. In his eyes you were telling him he was less
of a man. You should have never of done that.
Listen I feel like I am to blame for this. I should have explain that most
people at the party were roleplaying.That they said things which they did
not believe as gospel and most of it was not true.
It is simple, the clothes do not make a person. Putting me in army
fatigues would not make me a soldier anymore than putting Neil in a bra
and panties would make him a 'sissy'. I wear panties for I am a 'sissy'
not I am a 'sissy' for I wear panties. Do you really think that one day I
was a manly man and somehow panties were put on me and I became this
fabulous person who is in front of you? How long have you known me dear?"
Each time Sally said sissy she did put air quotes up. It was a sign to her
friend that she was not really a sissy and also sissies really do not
exists. While they do exists but not how they were portrayed at the party.
Sissyhood is more about how a man expresses his desires to be feel and be
treated as a woman.
Cecilia was friends with Sally for over 10 years now. They met while in
college and she did not find out that Sally started life out as Saul
Crawford until almost 2 years after they became friends. It was not for
Sally was shameful of being transgender. Sally was actually proud of how
strong she was in being able to live her life how she should had, as a
transgender woman. She would not tell people until they needed to know.
Sally wanted people to judge her for who she was at the time, not her
past. As her circle of friends grew she found out that she she needed to
tell people sooner. Talking about her experiences as Saul made her realize
her past did make her who she was and she needed to tell people for they
to really appreciate who she was and to feel a closeness to them. That
revelation led her to becoming more of a people person.
Sally was always outgoing, but before gaining the knowledge of truly
knowing people it was for more she wanted to be recognized. She felt that
the more people knew who Sally was would had legitimized her womanhood.
She became a people person for she telling people about Saul was what
truly humanized her to others. She wanted to do the same for others, she
wanted people to know she loved and appreciated that they were all each
unique individuals.
Cecilia said, "Dear that was one thing about the party I found funny. You
saying you were a sissy. I just thought that you really embraced womanhood
after someone helped you find that girl inside you. Faye talked about how
sweeter you became since she became your girlfriend and how you were going
to start to slow down in your business life to devote more time to being
the dotty housewife.I guess that is why you open up the bakery, to get
over the breakup of your relationship with Faye."
Sally thought, "Oh great, I have to deal with talking about what happened
with me and Faye." She did not want the handle that topic today for it
still brought her pain thinking about it. This was for those two still
loved each other but wanted different things out of a relationship. Faye
wanted Sally to be more of a traditional wife when they got married, and
Sally was a modern woman and wanted to keep expanding her little business
empire. Finding out those different expectations made Sally learn the
painful lesson, sometimes love is not enough.
Sally corrected Cecilia, "I am not a 'sissy' dear, I played the role for
Faye for she enjoyed it when I was her sissy during roleplay. Like I said
there was a lot of roleplaying going on at that party. I might have became
sweeter when Faye was around, but that was for I love her and it was all
the time. A person in a good mood will always be sweeter.
Us breaking up was not what caused me to open up bakery, the bakery was
the cause of us ending our relationship. Faye wanted me to scale back on
my business ventures and I am too much of an entrepreneur to not be
planning on how to better my businesses or be opening up new ones.
Plus, those businesses mean the world to me. All the 'girls' who work
their are now like my sisters and daughters. I am doing my little part in
helping the transgender community by having good paying job which ladies
like me can have.
I do scale back on my other ventures when I open a new one, that is for I
also want to have a balance life and I have someone who can manage the one
which I been putting my time in. That is why I am not at salon that often
anymore, Tracy is doing such a great job at running it. That is also why I
was not at the bar the night you stopped by, Lisa got that place running
even better than I ever did.
Speaking of you stopping by the bar, why did you call Ruby a slut? That
really hurt her feeling and so out of character for you."
Cecilia was stupefied hearing that she hurt Ruby's feeling, that was the
last thing she wanted to do by calling her a slut. Cecilia was trying to
flirt with Ruby and misremembered Ruby calling herself a slut while
laughing with her friend about being with a man.
Cecilia was a little pensive in her response, she did not know how to say
that she liked Ruby and said, "Sally, I did not mean to hurt Ruby's
feelings. I just remember her calling herself that at the party while
talking about one of her sexual conquest with some random guy.
I was trying to show her I am fine with her being a slut. No sorry, it
does not matter if I am fine with her being a slut, I like her being a
slut. No, not that either. I mean I do like she has a healthy appetite for
sex, I like her. I just wanted her to know that I liked her and did not
care that her past.
I might not be close to understanding what a sissy is, but spending time
with her was great. She made me feel special just by being herself and I
know I made her feel the same way. I want more of that "
Sally was so relieved and happy that she now knew what happen and will
easy be able to clear this up. Her happiness increased for she was going
to be able to play matchmaker. Ruby liked Cecilia and that was the main
reason she was intensely hurt by being called a slut by her crush. Sally
got excited for she loved to see two people get together and she was going
to see the start of a hopefully beautiful relationship tonight.
The other reason was her fantasy was not being a slut, it was being a
whore. That was no random man, she has not been in a serious relationship
or even dated any woman in a while so she has been hooking up with the
same man for over 2 years. They play out a scenario where George, that man
she has funtime with, acts like a 'john' and approaches Ruby at the bar
and then would make an indecent proposal. To her, there is a difference
between a slut and a whore. A slut just liked to have sex with many
different people, while a whore like to be paid for having sex with many
different people. It made her feel amazing to get paid to give someone
pleasure.
Sally told her friend, "Honey, it was all a misunderstanding. See, Ruby is
not a slut and would never call herself one. She is a whore, while she is
not. Her fantasy is to be a whore. It is just a fantasy also. I will let
her explain later tonight when you see her."
Cecilia quickly said, "I am not seeing her tonight. I can't face her right
after being so mean to her. She really does not know me and I would feel
so embarrassed."
Sally got a roguish grin on her face and that made Cecilia a little
suspicious. She knew that Sally just formulated a course of action which
would make Cecilia see Ruby tonight. Cecilia knew that her premonition was
true when she heard Sally say, "We are going to make this afternoon tea in
a girls' day together and then a girls' night out. I need to go to the
club to make sure the girls still know I am still alive and the name did
not change to Lisa's Lounge. Plus, Ruby likes you so you two need to see
each other and clear this up as soon as possible. Don't worry I be at your
side when you two aspiring lovebirds reconnect.
She is such a nice person. Fair warning, she is not always a sissy, but is
always the kind caring person she is as Ruby. I will let her explain in
more details it to you.
You know that I will not take no for an answer so just say yes."
After hearing that Ruby liked her Cecilia gleefully accepted the fact that
she was going out with Sally tonight. She was looking forward to spending
time with Ruby. Her mind did wonder about Ruby's non-sissy persona, would
she also enjoy spending time with Ruby when she was not Ruby. Was she
transgender like Sally, was her other persona a male? She knew the only
way to find out the answers to those questions was to get to know the
wonderful person who is Ruby.
Cecilia jokily said, "All right, I will do it, but you owe me big time.
Missy."
Sally laughed and with her quick wit came back with, "I can pay you back
by being your maid of honor when you two get married."
Vera
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