The Dance Of Makosha free porn video

Author's notes. I would like to thank Dawn (listed as commentator on volunteer's list) for editing this story. Thank you! The dance of Makosha. "Tell me again why I have to put on a dress. Why me? We have plenty of real girls!" "But none of our girls would be able to dance for a few hours nonstop." "Then replace them! Let them dance one girl at a time!" "No! We have only one dress for Makosha and we just have to do it according to the description. Makosha will dance nonstop!" I'm afraid of dresses. I'm not afraid to look stupid, I'm afraid that I will like it, and I'm afraid that others will see that I like it! I had a major accident when I was a teenager. My mom caught me wearing one of her dresses. Ever since that accident I have been suppressing this part of me. I was fighting my female side with my willpower, I just don't want it to come out. "I will look stupid in the dress! Others will be able to see that I'm a guy," throwing my last argument. "Do not be ridiculous. It will be after sunset and with our make-up artists and you moving around no one will be able to see it. Fyodor listen, you've been begging me for a part like what? Two years? And now I have a big part for you tonight and what? You are letting me down? I have no time to search for a replacement. You are slim, you are running marathons - you are the perfect fit!" Igor, the producer of our small theater is touching on my sensitive spot. My mom said that as soon as I started to talk, I said just one thing - I want to be an actor. I started in plays in our school. Everybody said that I have talent. I was enrolled in an arts institute, but never was able to get any serious part in a movie or a play. Currently I was a part of the company of a small private theater in St. Petersburg. But they were using me as a filler or for parts so small you can't really call it acting. I'm a disappointment to my family. I nod my head slowly. Part of me wants to act so badly. I would do almost anything to stay in the company and maybe get a small but real part next season. "That's my boy! Did I not tell you, you will be a star one day? I really believe in you Fyodor. Now go inside the tent, Sasha is waiting for you." Two middle age women stopped chatting when they see me coming. "Look, our goddess Makosha is coming!" Sasha is saying with a laugh. "You will look so lovely when we get through with you!" Tanya, our second make-up artist said. I sat in the chair feeling uneasy, Sasha and Tanya are professional make- up artists and I'm afraid of what they are going to do with my face, and what my feelings will be about it. They started by applying foundation; then started highlighting some areas on my face, already making me look more feminine. It is almost unbearable for me, I really am afraid what my reaction would be when they do my eyes. But then I noticed something. "What are you going to do with this needle?" "Part of the costume is two leaf shaped earrings. We need to pierce your ears." "No fucking way!" "It is not a big deal. Your left ear was pierced, I can see the mark." "I said no fucking way! Are you dumb? I'm not going to have my ears pierced for this stupid performance!" I shout, putting all my nervous energy, all my fear in it. "Stop shouting at us! It is a part of the costume. We have a clip-on earring, but if they will fall during the dance you will be explaining it to Igor!" I saw Sasha say something to Tanya in a hushed voice and Tanya nodded. I can see that I offended them with my shouting, and I feel sorry, but I managed to channel my fear into anger, and it let me sit through the rest of the procedure quietly. Even when they were done with my eyes, clipped an extension to my hair, and finally when Tanya helped me into the dress; I still acted very angry. I'm so angry for their stupidity that there is just no room available for any other feelings. "You are ready!" said Sasha checking my dress one last time. "I don't want to walk around looking like this! Can I wait here?" "No, you can't. We have other jobs to do, Perun will be next. Now please go outside." I turned to leave, and was ready to go out when Sasha stopped me. "By the way Fyodor, you are an asshole!" Most of our company is in the tents or walking around waiting for sunset to start the performance. Anger helped me to get through makeup and the dress up procedure, but now I have no need for it. I'm doing what any professional actor should do before a performance; I'm concentrating on what and how I'm going to act. We have no rehearsal, the offer to perform an ancient pagan mystery came at the end of the season, when our theater was about to close until September. Nobody was taking it too seriously, just a whim of a rich guy who believes he found one of the locations where a Slavonic tribe was performing their pagan rituals before Christianity took over. But I'm taking it seriously. I concentrate on performing. Our play is based on detailed description of the mystery left by Byzantine scholar Nikephoros. Not much is said about Makosha. She is supposed to dance around a big fire, separated from others by a ring of smaller fires, while others perform fights and other rituals. In the end, Makosha is joined by Perun, the Slavonic god of lighting and thunder, and others will be dancing outside. "When I grow up, I want to be like her!" a little girl said to her mother, pointing a finger at me. I smiled at the girl, but even her remark doesn't break my concentration. Makosha is a powerful goddess, protector of women. How would she dance? I'm trying some steps. How does she react to Perun's appearance after he defeats Veles in divine battle? Time is flying. It is becoming darker already. The fires are started and music begins. The women's choir started an ancient song, repeating every second word. The rhythm and singing is speeding up, slowly coming to a crescendo. That means it is time for me to enter. I have no fear. Right now, I'm not an unsuccessful b-grade actor, I'm not a disappointment to my family, I'm an ancient pagan female god, powerful and beautiful. The fact that for most of the play I don't have to interact with others only makes it easier for me. My concentration is perfect, I have no thoughts, I'm acting. I'm moving around the big fire, moving faster and faster. The fire is burning for me, the music is played for me, the stars and the moon are for me. I'm a Slavonic tribal girl chosen to impersonate Makosha. Or even better, I'm Makosha a powerful goddess, protector of women, bride of Perun. I'm getting the groove; the music is controlling my body. I feel my wig on my shoulders and the hem of the dress on my legs. I'm spinning around and around. Acting is everything to me, but I also have a hobby - long-distance running. There is a secret to how be good in running long-distances, you have to get in a trance-like state. You have to stop thinking, your ego has to stop existing. All you have is running, all you have is the rhythm of moving your legs. The deeper your trance is the better you will be. I like long-distance running because once you're on the track you have no choice but to put behind all your worries, all dissatisfaction, all negative thoughts. You just run, and the longer you run the cleaner your head becomes. Every time I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore I would go for a long run. And right now, it feels like I'm on a very long run. I don't care about crowd, I don't care about the company. In fact, there nothing to care about; all that exists in this world is the dance. And the dance is expressing itself through my body. It is making me change the steps, and it feels right to do so. I start spinning more and more. I am spinning like a dervish now. I've been through some dance classes and know how to spin like a pro. To not get your head in a whirl and not lose your balance, you have to choose a point to fixate your glance. When you have to turn your head, you're doing it quickly, you turn and fix your glance on the same spot again as quickly as you can. Somewhere deep in my mind I register that I choose a tall muscular man as a fixating spot. This is probably Yuri Nikolayevich the rich guy who ordered this performance. But there are no worries, there are no thoughts, the dance is the only thing that exists. It feels like the deepest trance I was ever in. Time ceases to exist. I have no idea how much time passes when something starts to feel wrong. Something is destroying my trance. Dmitry, one of our leading male actors, is stepping close to me. He is dressed in something they believe would be appropriate for the pagan god Perun. The dance is interrupted, I stop and feel dizzy, feeling like I drank too much alcohol. Dmitry's face is showing concern, he is saying something, but I'm not able to understand him. He is stepping forward, pretends to kiss me, takes me in his arms and carries me out of the fire cycle. Dmitry is a big strong man and for some reason it feels good to be carried this way. Dmitry brought me behind the tents. He is saying something again, but I still don't understand. "I have to finish the dance!" I say to him and try to go back to the fire, but Dmitry catches me by the sleeve of the dress and pulls me back. "You don't understand! It has to be finished!" I cry trying to get free. The dance has to be finished, it is not over, it is all I can think about. But Dmitry is holding me back, not letting me go. The pull to come back and dance is getting stronger and stronger. Suddenly Dmitry and the tents start to dance. The earth itself is dancing and getting to my face very quickly. A splash of water brings me back. I'm lying on my back. Dmitry, Igor and few others from the company are standing around me. "He was trying to get back and was shouting something. The spookiest thing is he was shouting in a language I don't understand. It was sounding a little bit like old Slavonic!" I hear Dmitry's deep baritone humming. "He just took it too seriously. The way he was spinning would make the Bolshoi Theater jealous." I hear another voice. "It is nothing! Poor guy just overdid it. Good thing he didn't lose his balance and drop in the fire." Igor said. "I'm ok." I sit up slowly, took the water bottle from Igor and gulped half of it in one go. I go to the makeup tent, returning the wig and the dress to Sasha. Igor was waiting outside. "Fyodor, you did a great job! Yuri Nikolayevich is very pleased and he specifically mentioned your performance!" Igor smiled. "I told you I believe in you! I ordered you a taxi, it is prepaid. The driver is waiting for you. Don't forget to wash your face, you still have makeup on." I wash my face with water from a bottle and go to the taxi. The drive back to my flat is more than one hour, Igor must be really pleased with me if he opens his purse to pay for the taxi. The flat I share with my mother is in Tsarskoe Selo - a small town near St. Petersburg, former residence of the imperial family. Previously I lived near our theater in the center of St. Petersburg sharing a flat with two other actors. But when my brother get married and moved to Finland, and our father passed away, I decided to move in temporarily with my mother to make her feel less lonely. I got up to the third floor in the old flat building on Parkovaya street, and open the door as quietly as possible, hoping my mother will be asleep. No such luck. "You are so late! Are you hu ..." My mother stopped abruptly looking at me weirdly. "Do you want to eat something?" she continued after a pause. "Yea, Mom I would like to eat something." I answer and go to wash my hands. The image in the mirror explains why my mother was looking weirdly at me. I am still wearing makeup. I wash my face carefully with soap, but it has almost no effect. Sasha and Tanya must have used some strong waterproof makeup on me to get revenge for my shouting at them. I wash my face again with the same result. I'm too tired to fight it right now; I go out as is. I go to the kitchen where my mother was filling my plate with fried potatoes and chicken. "Listen, Mom, there was performance outside and I was acting as a female figure. They put this makeup on me. I don't know how to remove it now." "You don't have to explain." My mother interrupts me quickly. "When you were young and I found you in my dress... I regret I reacted the way I did." She said not looking at me. "I was afraid what others would say, what our neighbors will say. But I don't care anymore, I just want you to be happy!" That feels awkward. I understand that if I try to tell her that I don't need makeup or a dress to be happy, she will probably not believe it. I chew my food in silence thinking that it is time to move back to St. Petersburg, and she just sat there close to me. That night I slept uneasy. I toss and turn, waking up late, feeling tired. It is the end of the season and there is no need to go to the theater today, but I would rather go somewhere to occupy my mind. I don't like to think about yesterday performance. The strange dance, trance, me losing consciousness. I would rather try to forget it. I washed my face again. The makeup starts to fade away, but still very visible, especially on my eyes. I don't want to go out looking like this, but staying in all day is also not an option. I put on my running gear and go out. What I like about Tsarskoe Selo is that there are plenty of great places to run. There are a few big parks. I like Alexanderosky park the most. This park is not too crowded, but still very beautiful and entrance is free. I run as usual, choosing long roads with as few turns as possible. Trying to catch the rhythm of my running, trying to lose myself in the movement. The weather is nice and it should be a good run, but something is not right. When something is not right I usually just try to run harder. But this time the harder I run the stranger I feel. Something is not right. Finally, I stop and bend with my hands on my knees breathing hard. Warm spring sun is beaming through the trees; a warm breeze is moving the branches; birds are singing. Everything is good and peaceful, but something is also not right. Whatever it is I'm trying to shake it off, a few more breaths and I start to run again. Still something is so very wrong I just can't continue. I stop almost crying with frustration. My eyes are closed and I'm trying to shake it all off one more time. Suddenly it starts to feel better. I open my eyes to find that the park is spinning around me, it is the dance again! I stop and breathe hard. Whatever is happening to me, I don't like it! Not daring to run again I walk slowly back home. The slow walk takes a lot of time. It is already lunch time when I get back to the flat. I go to my room and throw myself on the couch. "Fyodor, are you hungry?" "No mom, I need to sleep, I will eat later." My phone is vibrating, but I have no desire to talk to anybody right now. What is happening to me? What is the meaning of all these strange feelings? What is wrong? Somebody is knocking at my door. I was asleep and it is already getting dark outside. "Fyodor? We have a guest, can you come out?" "Yea, I'm coming." It is unusual for us to have guests and I wonder who it can be. I come to the main room to see the person I last expected - our producer drinking tea there. "Igor, what are you doing here?" "Why? You are not happy to see me? I just told Elena how talented you are!" "But why did you come here, just to say that I'm talented?" "You weren't answering your phone. And I need to talk to you." Something must be seriously wrong to make Igor come here. I gulp and take the seat across from him. "Remember I told you that you will be a star one day? Well it's happening." Igor said with a smile. "Yuri Nikolayevich liked our performance yesterday and specifically mentioned you. He is asking for two more performances to be given." "There's no way I'm going to perform as Makosha again!" "What?" "Igor you know I like to act and I would take on any role! But yesterday something happened, something strange. I lost consciousness!" "Of course you lost consciousness after spinning like crazy for hours! We have a choreographer coming specially for you, he will correct your dance. Now listen! Yuri Nikolayevich is a very rich and powerful man; he likes us and wants us to perform again and he specifically mentioned wanting you to be Makosha again. He is willing to make a very big donation to our theater. Do you understand what that means?" I put my head down. The theater was struggling financially and it was easy to understand that we desperately need money. "And if you are concerned that you are acting as a female character then think about Mironov or Tabakov or even Vysocky, all of this great actors played in a dress at least once in their careers! If you are serious about being an actor then get your shit together and start being a pro! I promise I will talk to our director about giving you a real part next season. Otherwise you are fired!" I keep my head down, not able to bring any argument. Igor knows I would do anything to act. As afraid as I am there is just no way I can say no to him. Igor takes my silence for a yes. "Good! We need to prepare more seriously for the next performance. Come tomorrow at 2." He rose to leave. "By the way, you will get a new wardrobe and I'm afraid earrings are the part of it. You will get your ears pierced." In spite of all the emotions running through me from Igor's visit and sleeping a big part of the day, I still fell asleep quickly this evening. I woke up very late again. It feels like I can sleep nonstop these days. After eating a small breakfast I go to the bus station to get me to St. Petersburg. Something is amiss though. I check my clothes, my phone and money, everything is ok. And then it hits me - I forgot to shave! I stop, checking my face. Strangely I feel that there is no need for the shave. I should have two day's stubble, but instead my skin is smooth. The bus is taking me to Moskovskaya subway station. I feel that people are looking at me, and I think I hear someone say 'faggot'. My makeup is still visible and I run out of the bus as soon as we arrive. I go down, board the train and wait for the seventh's stop to exit. It is not crowded. It is nice that I never have to go during rush hours; it is one of the privileges of the profession that you don't have to wake up and move early in the morning. I like being a part of the bohemian life. And who knows, as strange as this pagan performance is, maybe I will finally get a real part next season and will start to act for real! Our small theater is located in an old building in St. Petersburg's downtown. Somebody told me that before the revolution there was a brothel in this building, but I never bothered to check if it is true. An old gentleman is waiting for me. I know his type. His old fashioned suit, cane, cravat and strange manners, everything are specially designed to emphasize that he represents old culture. He may have a story or two about how Stanislavsky was his personal teacher. The company's technician is showing a video of my performance to him. "Where did you learn these steps young man?" The choreographer is turning his head to me and raised one eyebrow. "I don't know, it is just came to me." "Your dance steps and the whole composition are the most extraordinary dance I have ever seen! It reminds me of the old peasants dancing I witnessed when I was very young. I have never seen anything like that since." He asked the technician to move the video forward. "Most remarkable! You are a natural!" We've been watching the video for about an hour and a half when the choreographer asked to stop the video. He sat in silence for a while as if trying to digest what he just saw. "Well, I have to admit I will spoil your dance if I try to correct it. Just try to start right away with the steps you were doing in the middle, and don't spin too much in the end." Our dresser Alex is taking measurements of me. He is gay and is quite open about it. Some people hate him, but even those people admit his talent as a dresser. "This will be a very expensive dress! Yuri Nikolayevich is paying for it to be made by the very expensive couture company Zvezda. Funny, but this Zvezda mostly specializes in wedding dresses!" "Is this guy crazy or what?" "He may be crazy, but he is also crazy rich and very powerful. You better play along and try your best. The entire future of our theater may depend on it!" My next stop is Sasha. I say hi to her, but she didn't bothered to answer. In silence she produced something that looks like a pistol and starts with my left ear. I hear clicks, and something like an insect bite. Then she goes to my right ear and I hear more clicks and feel more bites. "What are you doing?" I cry as soon as I see myself in the mirror. I got two studs in my left ear and three in my right. To make things worse, the studs are with fake stones of different colors. A teenage girl would wear something like this in her ears. "What? I've been ordered to pierce your ears!" "Listen Sasha, I'm sorry for shouting at you and Tanya the other day. Please remove it and put only two studs and not so girly!" "ok, your apology accepted. And I'm also sorry, but you have to wear this studs for a few days to prevent an infection. Friday will be a good day to remove them. I will help you." I left the room so shocked I forgot to ask how to remove my makeup. I'm walking to our director Nikolay's office when I hear someone talking. I hesitate and hear Igor's voice. "What will happen when Yuri Nikolayevich finds out about him?" "Igor, I don't know and I don't care! This stupid performance was your idea from the start. It is off season already, I will not find an actress in this city that looks like him and can dance for hours like him! You heard what the choreographer told us, he is fucking unique!" "It may be a stupid performance, but the money Yuri Nikolayevich is promising to donate would make a huge difference to our theater! There must be a way!" I don't like to eavesdrop anymore and step into the office. They both jump when they see me. "What's wrong?" I ask. "Fyodor! We have a little complication with our pagan performance." Igor is saying smiling to me. "Yuri Nikolayevich will be donating some serious money to our theater, but, as you know, he asked for two more performances and he asked for some changes." "What changes?" "He would like to be Perun. He will act as Perun." "So what the big deal?" "That means he will come for rehearsal Wednesday!" The room got very quiet, nobody is talking for a while. It got some time for me to get it. "So, you are afraid he will find out I'm not a girl?" Both men remain silent. Nikolay is looking at his hands, and Igor is looking strangely at me. I caught a reflection of myself in a cupboard's mirror. The sun is playing in my newly pierced ears and my makeup still very visible. "I think I have an idea!" Igor broke the silence. "What is it?" responded Nikolay. "Fyodor, didn't I tell you that you will be a star one day?" "Yes, a couple of times. I just can't see this day coming!" "This is not a joke. With Yuri Nikolayevich's money we can expand our repertoire. There will be new plays and you will get not just a part but one of the main parts!" Nikolay is looking puzzled at Igor. "Fyodor, all you have to do is act as a girl offstage! It will be probably just a few moments when Yuri Nikolayevich will interact with you and with proper clothes and Sasha's work on your face you will look just like a girl!" "I hate this idea!" I say quickly. "What, you hate the idea of helping out the theater? Fyodor, we had this discussion before. If you are for real then stop whining and act like a pro! Nikolay tell him what you think about it." "Yes, Igor is right. It is a difficult time for a small theater like ours. Help us and I will think about you getting a part next season." It's not often I go out shopping for clothes; and never since my childhood were other people choosing them for me. And for the first time in my life I was in the women's section of the store. Alex and Sasha are having fun making me try on different clothes. I managed to say no to dresses and skirts insisting on only simple jeans and blouses. "You will make his hair long?" Alex asked keeping one item in his hand. "Yes, tomorrow I will dye his hair bright blonde, add extensions and put him in pigtails. By the way we should start calling him her!" "Indeed. Let's call her Elizaveta, I like the name!" Alex responds with a laugh. "What a stupid name! I never liked long names." I respond with a frown. "It is Liza then. We will call you Liza so the money guy will not suspect a thing. Try this blouse." I'm pissed off about all of this, but what I can do? If you call yourself a milk-mushroom -- get into the basket! I put on the blouse obediently struggling to get it over my breast forms. "Do my breasts have to be this size?" "Yes, dear. And I can say that a C cup is looking awesome on you." I board the bus on the way home and I see the person I last wanted to see - my ex-girlfriend. It is too late to go back and the unavoidable happens. Lena recognizes me. I see her eyes getting wide with surprise. Then she starts to smile and take her phone out. She is waiting for a good opportunity to make a picture of me. I['m sure she will spread the news, that I broke with her not because she was a nasty bitch, but because I'm gay. I take a deep breath. They say art requires sacrifices, well, it seems like my reputation going down the drain is one of those sacrifices. I had asked Igor to call my mother to explain my pierced ears to avoid her being surprised. After dinner I went directly to bed feeling very tired. And I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I heard my mother knocking my door asking if I'm alright. "Yes mom, I'm alright." "Shouldn't you wake up? It is afternoon already!" "Yea, I'm coming!" I look at my phone, it is 1 PM already, but I feel like I hadn't slept at all. The face in the mirror looks strange somehow. The piercings, remaining makeup - that was expected, but my face also looks different. And I don't have to shave again. I look at my skin carefully, it is smooth and clean. Am I getting younger? I feel tired all the time, don't have much appetite and don't have to shave, am I getting ill? "Mom, I will stay in St. Petersburg until this performance is over. I don't want to go out here looking like this!" This time I took a taxi instead of the bus. I don't want to take the chance of seeing somebody I knew again. Sasha and Tanya are working on my face and hair. My eyebrows are thinned and arched and a new waterproof makeup is applied. Fake eyelashes are attached. My dirty blond hair dyed bright blond and a matched long hair extension is glued to my hair. Two pigtails are then created. I even got a simple manicure and my nails were painted red. Near the end of this long procedure Igor came to check the progress. "Good job ladies!" "His skin is very good to work with. He is very natural." Alex is insistent. "Yes, you have to wear the breast forms and clothes all the time now! In fact you should have started wearing it all yesterday. We want you to be comfortable with this tomorrow, so don't you dare take anything off! You will be wearing it the rest of the day today and tomorrow morning. The rehearsal is at three so come at two to try on the dress. And here's my personal present to you." Alex gave me a purse. The flat I was sharing with two other actors is within walking distance from the theater, but I'm taking a detour. The white night season is the best time to see St. Petersburg. It is already late afternoon, but sunset is getting later and later every day. I'm walking through the streets still busy with tourists and visitors walking and sitting outside. The weather is pleasant and it is still almost as bright as daytime. I walk the streets aimlessly, trying not to pay attention to my big breasts and long hair. Walking sometimes can be as good as running. You just walk down the streets not paying too much attention to anything and see the city changing the scene for you. "Hey baby, want to drink something?" I turn my head to see a young slightly drunk man smiling at me. He is probably part of the party that is sitting in a summer caf?. "Yes dear, a bottle of vodka would be nice!" I respond in the deepest voice I can manage and walk briskly away leaving the poor guy in shock. I don't feel like walking anymore and return to the flat. "Hey, we finally got a girl living under our roof!" Andrey is welcoming me to the flat. It is fairly easy to pick up a girl when you are working as an actor. Even such losers as I, Andrew or our third tenant Max can easily attract a lot of female attention when we say that we are actors. The problems arises when it is time to pay. It is difficult to start a serious relationship when you are so poor. "Keep joking like this and I will reconsider taking this part. The rich fuck will not pay his donation and our glorious theater will go broke. And it will be you to blame!" "Take it easy, it was just a joke! Actually everybody appreciates what you are doing!" "Give him a beer," Max says from the kitchen. We don't have a living room in our flat and we use the kitchen to sit together. A small TV on the fridge is showing a soccer game with the local team, Zenit. The kitchen is dirty and there's a pile of dishes in the sink. "So, without me you didn't bother to clean the kitchen?" "Just not today! Let's drink beer and relax, we can clean it tomorrow." I open the bottle and start to drink the beer. Nevskoye used to be my favorite local beer, but today it tasted like shit. I checked the date on the battle, maybe it is expired? No, it is ok. I eat some salty crackers, hoping that will help to finish the bottle. "Stop staring at me!" I say to Max. "Sorry! I just ... I don't know ... they make you look so good, it feels strange." "I'm tired, I will go to my room, but you can jerk off about how good I look." I go to my room leaving the unfinished beer and fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow again. I was having strange dreams. I saw a country yard, a forest, a voice is calling for me. Then I wake up with a start. Somebody is pulling my hair painfully with rhythmic motion. My pigtails are pulled behind me tight and I can't turn my head. With great difficulty I put one of my hands behind me and pull pigtails back to me. Something is giving way. I turn my head. It is white nights season and even without a light on I can see Max standing there. His mouth is open, his eyes are glazed. One of my pigtails is still wrapped around his erected cock and he is jerking it off rhythmically. "What the fuck!" I shout and pull my pigtail from him. But as soon as I get it away from him I'm rewarded with a jet of come directly to my face. I kick the bastard with all my power, getting him off balance and run to the bathroom to have a shower. I wash myself frantically. I feel something salty on my lips and I cry in despair. What the fuck? I wash my face again and again. Finally it starts to feel like my skin just can't take it anymore. I stop the shower and dry myself off. I look at my face in the mirror. It looks different. Sasha did a great job with my face, I almost look like a different person. But I have no time for this now. I want to kick the bastard in his guts! The light in my room is on. Andrey and Max are standing there. "What did you do to him?" asks Andrey. "I did? This idiot was jerking off in my hair!" "Max? I would never believe something like this!" "I was sleeping alright, but then you started to call me. I come to your room to ask what is wrong and you kick me with your legs and run to the bathroom!" "Andrey, I'm telling you, he was like trying to rape me!" "Fyodor, cut this nonsense! I would never believe Max is capable of such things! You are acting strange. Stop it. I don't know what is wrong with you; but you're starting to sound like a crazy bitch." They leave my room. I close and lock the door. I lie in the bed feeling my pigtails still wet, I don't have a hair drier. What is going on? What is happening? After Andrey's words I also started to doubt myself. Max is a gentle and very friendly guy, often invited to kid's parties. He is not a sex maniac. Slowly I fall asleep. I wake up again with a start. Someone was calling me in the dream and someone is shaking my door trying to get it open. I rise from the bed and go to the door and switch on the light. "Who is it?" There is no answer, but someone is trying to force it open again. I took an old desk lamp and held it as a weapon. The door is opened to reveal Andrey standing there with his mouth open and his erect cock out. "What the fuck?" I scream, wondering why my voice is so high pitched, and slam the door closed again. I barricade the door with a chair and sit on my bed with my hands pressed to my pierced ears. I don't want to hear Andrey trying to open the door again and again. Silence finally comes and I let my hands off my ears. My phone is showing that it is five o'clock in the morning. I rise from the bed and put on my female clothes. For some reason it feels good to put my breast forms in again. I leave the flat as quietly as I can. The streets are empty. There are a few drunk people walking out of nightclubs. There is a cleaning machine driving through the street slowly. But otherwise it is the only time of the day when St. Petersburg downtown is empty and almost silent. I scroll through the contacts in my phone. Where should I go looking like this? Who can help me? I call Alex and ask him if I can go and spend time in his flat. He isn't happy to be woken up so early, but he invites me to come up. I wonder why gay people are so good financially. Maybe it is because they don't have to spend money on women? Or maybe it is because they are often very talented too. Alex's flat is a strong contrast to the flat I was sharing with Andrey and Max. Very clean and decorated with great taste. Good view from the windows. "Tell me something." Alex is sitting across from me in a robe with a cup of tea in his hands. "Do you like being dressed as a woman?" I didn't answer. If it was anyone else but Alex I would scream that he is crazy. But I just can't lie to him. He is a guy I secretly admire for having guts to openly admit his sexuality. I would never admit that to anyone, but I can't lie to him. I put my head down, looking at the breast forms creating an image of ample breasts under my blouse. "Oh you poor thing!" He is patting my hand. "Now I see that all this is a real stress for you. You're afraid to admit that you like it, and you're afraid that others will see that you are enjoying it." He pours more tea in my cup. "For me it is easy to see. Look how you sit, your gestures. You have even started to sound girly; you are a natural! If I didn't know better, I would believe that a good looking girl is sitting in my kitchen." Alex's current boyfriend is out of town and he invites me to spend the rest of the night on his couch. "Wake up sleepyhead! We need to go now." I wake up still feeling tired, but a cup of very good coffee helps me to wake up. I go to the bathroom only to discover that I don't need to shave again. My skin is still very smooth and I look ... younger? No! I'm looking girly and it starts to bother me. I just hope that it will end tomorrow. After the performance I will ask Sasha to remove the makeup and earrings. I will put on male clothes and I should be back to normal. My first stop inside the theater is makeup. Tanya renews my makeup and makes me feel better. It's only been a few days and I am already used to seeing my face with some makeup on, and seeing my face getting brighter and ... more attractive makes me feel much better. Alex is busy unpacking the dress. "You are a lucky girl! This piece is worth a lot of money!" The dress is clearly designed to imitate traditional folk wedding dresses with all their patterns and colors. But it is also designed to look attractive when dancing. Numerous underskirts will look good on my legs when I will spin. "Look at this kokoshnik (traditional female hat)! And to make such piece of art on such short notice! Yuri Nikolayevich must have spent a lot of money on it." Alex says, helping me to put it on. "Speak of the devil, there he is." Alex gestured to the window. I step close to the window, feeling the hem of the dress on my legs for the first time, and see three black cars parked in front of the theater. Parking is forbidden here, but I guess it doesn't apply to this guy and his security. I see a tall figure step out of the car, take a couple of steps toward the building then stop and raise his head. Yuri Nikolayevich's eyes meet mine and I jump back into the room. "Do you think he will believe I'm a real girl?" I ask Alex looking at the mirror. "Relax! He won't suspect a thing! Actually I'm really surprised how good you look as a girl." Alex sprayed me with perfume and encouraged me to go, but I still feel reluctant about stepping on the stage. Finally I force myself to go, realizing that I'm late. Something unusual is going on. Yuri Nikolayevich had changed from his business suit to the character's costume, but he is not acting, he is standing in the middle and speaking his mind. "I paid good money for the last performance and I agreed to make a donation to your theater. But you are not taking it seriously, are you? I need you to be professional, I need you to act and feel it!" His strong voice is booming, it is a voice of a man who is used to commanding people and expecting them to obey. He turns his head to me and I think I see a shadow of a smile crossing his face. "And you, what is your name?" What is my name? I can't say Fyodor. The only name that come to mind is what Alex called me the other day. "Liza," I say. "Liza you did well. We just need to work on the end scene with you," he said, and I felt myself blushing. Our director is sitting in silence with his arms crossed. There is nothing he can do. Yuri Nikolayevich's organizing skills are enormous, and he knows exactly what he wants and how he wants it. A few hours later we start to rehearse the end of the performance. I asked to dance. I was thinking it might be difficult for me to dance in the new dress and without music, but as soon as I start it just goes and it goes alright. Yuri Nikolayevich steps forward making me stop abruptly. "You should not stop." Suddenly he starts to speak in a quiet voice, not loud at all. His words are for me only. "Try not to stop, but accept me into the dance. We will dance together for some time and then I will carry you out in my hands." Not on the first try, but it worked out. He steps forward, but I'm not stopping, I just grab his hand and we dance together. We try one more time, we are moving hand in hand when suddenly he grabs and carry me off the stage. He puts me down behind the stage and before I was able to react presses his lips hard to mine. "Perfect! That's what I'm looking for. See you tomorrow!" I asked Alex if I can spend one more night on his couch and he answered that I'm welcome. We walk together back to his flat. "You know, he kissed me on my lips behind the stage." "Oh my, how romantic! But you don't want to think about it, right? Allow yourself to enjoy your true sexuality. You will never be happy unless you allow yourself the freedom to express yourself." "I'm worrying what he would say if he found out that I'm not a girl." "Then talk to him the next time, let him know. He may even like it." "But Igor said ..." "Forget about Igor, it is not him being kissed behind the stage." I sleep very tight. Alex woke me up with coffee and I moved to the bathroom. I'm afraid to look at the mirror to see my face. Would it look even more girly? But my face looks the same as yesterday. It is my chest that makes me worry this time. My nipples look bigger and the area behind them is swollen. It is very visible on my slim figure. I am really puzzled. Something like this happened when I was starting to go through puberty. I remember my chest was swelling a little bit at the time. Probably something is wrong with my hormone levels. I will try and visit a doctor. A big black Mercedes is waiting for us. Yuri Nikolayevich sent us one of his cars to take us to the performance location. The backseat is spacious and comfortable. I feel my breast forms start to bounce up and down though when we move to a bad country road. Sasha and Tanya are renewing my makeup. They replace two of the studs with dangling earrings. Alex helps me into the dress and wishes me luck with my performance. This time all the company is trying harder. Nobody is loafing. Even the music and singing sounds much better. I hear female voices start to sing faster and faster. It is time for me to make my entrance. I keep telling to myself to step forward to the big fire and start to dance. It is just a performance, nothing special. It will end today and I will be free till next Friday. But I'm afraid to go, my body is tense. What happened last time still scares me. "What are you waiting for? It is time go!" Nikolay is saying and his facial expression is not promising anything good for me if I hesitate another second. I step forward, but I'm not concentrating. I don't know if I will manage to do it the right way this time. But as soon as I start moving all my worries disappear. It feels like the magic dance was waiting for me all this time. After the first cycle around the fire there nothing but dancing. My body is moving and it feels alright. I just know what steps I need to take, I just dance. Time ceases to exist. The music is getting so beautiful it is almost unbearable. The sound of our female chorus is making me feel ecstatic. Somewhere deep in my mind a small part of me is wondering how my dance looks this time. Perhaps it looks like a traditional Indian dance. I stop moving around and express the waves of pleasure in my body with my hands and legs. I don't care how it looks I just need to express it. I move my hands, legs and my head following rhythmical spasms in my body. Faster and faster. I add some steps and I spin around, but my hands are still moving in different directions. I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I understand that I'm not in control of it. I wouldn't be able to stop it even if I try. I see Yuri Nikolayevich stepping close to me and he extends his hand. I turn around one more time and grab his hand. And suddenly I feel his body. The dance is changing and we are moving together as one. I feel his strong body and I know that he feels mine. The extreme feeling of ecstasy in my body is replaced with desire. I move close to him and he grabs me in his strong hands. He carries me to one of the tents and I notice that his bodyguards stood in front of it. We look at each other for a second before engaging in a passionate kiss. He kisses me and I kiss him back. We stop after a while, I look at him feeling nothing but desire. I want his body, I want him deep inside of me. Slowly I get on my knees. He is taking his big and very erect cock out and grabs my pigtails. "Yes, Makosha, worship your groom Perun!" He pulls my pigtails and I take him deep in my mouth and start to slide on it back and forth. I'm not thinking, my mind still in the magic dance trance. But it feels good to have him inside of me. I slide faster and faster getting in the rhythm. He is big and I can take only part of him inside of my mouth before it touches my throat, but he demands more. "Give it all to me! Give all you've got to me, to your god Perun!" And he pull my pigtails painfully. I get my mouth wide open and somehow he is getting even deeper inside of me. He penetrates me with all his length and I feel my throat stretched. He starts to fuck my face mercilessly. He moves faster and faster. He pulls out of my throat and comes into my mouth with a grunt, lifting my head up, forcing me to swallow it all. "By old customs I name you my wife." I feel salty come in my mouth getting to my throat. I swallow it and everything goes dark. I wake up inside a luxury van, it is moving. Yuri Nikolayevich is sitting across from me smiling. Alex is sitting close to me looking concerned. There is also a woman in the van, I don't know her. I am still in the dress. "Are you ok?" Alex is asking. I'm not sure. It was worse than the last time. I hope the part where I was giving head to the man is just a product of my imagination. But the taste in my mouth says that it was real. "Yuri Nikolayevich, there something I need to tell you." I say looking at him. "It is just Yuri for you, please." "Yuri, I'm not a ..." "I know you are not a girl." "You know?" "Of course I do! I know your real name and where you live. I know everything about you." I look at him in disbelief. Is he also gay? "When I first saw that you were not a girl I was pissed off, but then I saw your dance, I saw your trance and I understood that I'm getting lucky again!" "In what way?" "It is not easy to explain, but I will try." He took out an expensive looking bottle of wine, opened it and offered me and Alex a glass. I don't feel like drinking, but it may be a good idea to wash away the taste in my mouth. I grab the glass and gulp half of it down in one go. "This is not beer. This is very expensive wine, you may want to drink it slowly." I glare at him. This man was forcing his cock down my throat not long ago and now he wants to teach me manners? But the taste of the wine is really delicious and I slow down to savor it. "The media says that I'm one of the most powerful men in St. Petersburg. They are wrong! I'm the richest and the most powerful man here. Unfortunately I still have plenty of enemies on the federal level. My problem is that I never had friends inside the Kremlin. So, I have no choice but to stay ahead of the game. And I need a lot of luck on my side too." "What has it got to do with all of this?" I say pointing to my dress. "Patience, I will try to explain. I was a successful sportsman in the USSR, but my career came to an end shortly after the collapse of the 90's. Long story short I tried to become a businessman as so many others did. And I failed miserably as so many others did. In '93 I lost everything and was in heavy debt to local gangsters. I ran away to a village near Ryazan. The village used to belong to my family." I can see that the driver of the van slowed down allowing us to drink comfortably. Yuri is sipping his wine, his eyes half closed. He is silent for a while, reminiscing about his past. Then he continues. "I don't want to overload you with details, but when I was hiding in the village I start to hear strange things about my grand and great- grandfather. The old people in the village were saying to me that my ancestors were very keen on traditions and they even performed some old rituals." Yuri refiled his glass and took another gulp. "I knew that my great-grandfather was a very successful merchant and I started to search his old manor hoping to find treasure trove. It was not uncommon at the time to hide treasures. People were thinking that they could wait out the Bolsheviks." He took a deep breath. "I didn't find any treasure, but I found something much more important. I found my great-grandfather's diary. It was written in old style, and it was difficult to read, but I had plenty of time and was still hoping to learn where he hid his treasures. But soon I discovered something strange. My ancestors believed that their luck and protection comes from practicing old rituals. You can call it magic if you like. Yes, my first reaction was similar to yours, magic is out of date nonsense. But the more I read the diary, the more I believed that there a lot more to it than modern people imagine. My ancestors were rich and they were no fools. My curiosity grew and having nothing to do, I decided to try something simple." I sat across Yuri with my hands crossed under my breast forms and I'm not sure if I should start laughing or scream that he is an idiot. "In ancient times luck was considered almost as a material element. If you have a lot of luck you can do almost anything you like. The rituals where designed to attract luck and, believe it or not, I start to be successful in all I was doing. Soon I become a businessmen in Ryazan, and I was getting richer every day. But then I discovered certain limitations in what my ancestors were doing. They practiced some old rituals, but they remain Christians. I understood that the real power came from the old pagan religion and its gods. I was raised as an atheist and I don't have such limitations. I started to search for the information, and I start to worship the old gods. I can see you don't believe me, but that is not required. You are a part of the most important ritual I ever performed. If it works right nobody will be able to stop me. So far it's working, we just need to repeat it one more time." I take a deep breath. This guy is crazy, but he also can be dangerous, I better keep my thoughts to myself. "Where we are going?" "I rented a floor for you in the Nevsky Palace hotel." "You rented what?" "A floor. Look, you may deny it, but you are going through some sort of transformation right now. It is better for your safety to stay away from people, especially men, unless they are completely gay." He glanced at Alex. "The entrance will be guarded by my people just in case. You can go outside but I recommend you to stay in as much as possible. If you go outside, never go without Anna." He gestured to the woman. "She may not look the part, but she one of the best bodyguards in this city." "Why would I need a hotel floor and a bodyguard?" "Because you are important! You are one of the few capable of connecting to the god's dimension through your trance. And you are going through changes you may not understand. It is better this way, believe me. And, by the way, I will talk to Igor and Nikolay, you will get a part next season. Hell, If it all works out I will get you a part in an A-class movie, I promise!" It is the first time in my life I entered a 5 star hotel. Nevsky Palace occupied an old historical building. The decorations and expensive furniture are specially designed to emphasize that you are living in a historical place. I jump on the bed feeling like going to sleep right away. "Anna?" I call the woman. "Yes?" I hear her answer from another room. "Can you help me out of this dress please?" "Sure. I will also help you to remove your makeup." Anna helped me to get out of the dress and I put on a bathrobe. "Where are my normal clothes?" "Alex will bring them to you tomorrow. Want to eat something? I will order." "Sure, order something for me too." We go to a huge bathroom and Anna is using some liquid from her bag to clean my face and she helps me to remove all the earrings. "The food is here." I heard Anna saying, but I am falling asleep already. I'm walking with my friend Kolya through the kindergarten's yard. It is early springtime and sunshine is warming up the earth, making the grass grow and the last of the remaining snow to melt. We are walking along the fence that separates the yard and the field. Kolya gives me a small yellow flower he just found. I take it and he kisses me on my lips. "Kolya, why you are kissing me?" "Because you are beautiful!" I ran back to the children and the teacher. Our teacher Elena Sergeevna is sitting there helping one of the girls with the bows in her hair. I watch fascinated as she brushes the girl?s hair and readjusts a bow. The teacher turns her head to me. ?Fedia, would you also like to have a bow in your hair?? I turn my head down, I know I can?t have it and I shouldn?t ask for it. ?Fedia, come to me, sit on my lap.? I look at her and she is not laughing at me. I come and sit on her lap and she brushes my hair and it feels so good. My mother never brushed my hair, maybe because my father said that I?m getting too girly. ?I don?t have a bow for you, but I have something better.? She takes one of her full rounded breasts from the dress and directs me to suck. ?And throw away this flower. You shouldn?t accept such presents from others. You are already taken by Perun.? I wake up slowly, shaking off the remains of the strange dream. I feel like I can sleep some more, but I need to relieve myself. I finish my business and turn to the mirror to check myself. I look smaller, more delicate. And the swelling on my chest is getting very visible. My face also looks different and something is amiss. I look at myself, I?m missing makeup. I put two dangling earrings back into my ears and I start to feel better. Then I remove them. Why would I need to wear earrings? I hear voices in the other room and go to check. Alex and Anna are sitting there drinking coffee and there's a pile of carboard boxes and plastic bags next to the table. ?Hi darling! Do you know what time it is? It is already three PM. You've been sleeping half the day!? ?Hi Alex, hi Anna. I feel strange these days. I?m tired and want to sleep all the time.? ?Yuri Nikolayevich asked me to buy you everything you may need. I know your size and I bought you all this.? I start to open the boxes and look inside the bags. Heels, skirts, dresses. ?But why dresses?? ?Why not? Look at you! This dress will look fabulous on you!? ?Alex, I appreciate you trying to encourage my sexuality. But you know, it is just not going to work.? I hesitate before continuing. ?Yes, I like to dress up, but I also would like to go back to normal. You know, just an average guy. No fancy dresses and no crazy oligarch trying to do ridiculous things to me.? ?Ridiculous? You don?t believe what he said about these rituals?? ?Of course I don?t! I was afraid he'd get mad if I started to laugh at him. But his mumbo-jumbo Slavonic god?s magic is just the stupidest idea I ever heard! My problem is that I like to dress up. I wasn?t doing it for many years, and now all of this is doing a number on my mind. I have strange dreams, even my body is reacting somehow. But I will do the last performance as agreed, I will stop dressing as a girl and everything will go back to normal.? ?Yeah, no problem, but check this one out.? Alex took out something small. ?They call it a running skirt. Isn?t it lovely?? I take the skirt in my hands, fascinated by the simple and beautiful design. My legs would be very exposed in it, but it would also be very free. I would like to try it, maybe just one time. ?And this top will look just lovely with the skirt.? Alex is giving me another item. ?All right, maybe I will try them just for fun. But please bring me something simple like jeans next time.? I ordered food and spent the rest of the day watching the huge TV and talking to Anna. She was a judo sportswoman in the past. She told me that demand for female bodyguards is huge. Somebody wants to have a bodyguard with a concealed weapon, but doesn?t like to be seen with one. In this case a female bodyguard posing as a secretary is the best solution. Or a rich guy wants someone to guard his family, but doesn?t trust a male to guard his trophy wife. It wasn?t easy for her to get the license, but once she got it there were a lot of job options available. She didn?t know much about Yuri beyond that he is paying her a lot and that he is kind of sexy. Not knowing how much longer I will be allowed to live in this luxury hotel, I decide to try and enjoy as much as I can. I go to the huge bathroom and start to fill the jacuzzi bath tub. Adding some white liquid from a small jar to the hot water created a thick foam on the top of it. I got myself under the foam and enjoyed the feeling of hot water on my skin. I kept my head above the water and my hair out of the tub not wanting to deal with it getting wet. I put my head on the edge of the tub and arch my back slightly. I feel my nipples rise out of the hot water and tense slightly. I look at my chest and from this angle it looks like I have two small but real breasts with erect nipples on top of them. It must be some visual effect. I put my hands on my chest feeling that indeed the swelling is getting really big. The combination of cool air, hot water and my hands on my nipples is making me moan slightly. I pinch my nipples and feel even more excited. Strange, I have never felt a combination of pleasure and pain run through my body before, it makes my lower body?s muscles spasm. I feel like coming. I put my left hand between my legs, expecting to find my cock erect. Instead I find my cock to be very flaccid. And it feels like it is much smaller than it should be. Suddenly I don?t feel like bathing anymore. I step out of tub and wash away the foam in the shower. The mirror reveals two female breasts, small but very visible on my slim frame. My shoulders seems to be smaller and more rounded. My hair seems to have grown a lot. And the most shocking discovery ? my cock and balls looks like they belong to a small boy and not a grown man. Do I have a hormonal imbalance? Or is it all just a psychosomatic effect? I go to bed with the firm decision not to wear anything that looks female anymore. Next Friday the last performance will be over and I will put it all behind me. I will visit a doctor if necessary, to get help with my hormonal imbalance. I sit in my room and I?m trying to do math homework. It is not difficult and I know I can do it, but I?m also irritable for some reason and this is not letting me to concentrate. It is often like this, I?m smart enough to do it, but I lack concentration. My mom came into the room and sat by my side. ?You know, I?m so proud of you,? said mom and stroked my hair. ?I always wanted a daughter. If you were born a girl I would have called you Masha, but Makosha will do just fine.? Suddenly I feel no more irritation, I can do this homework just fine. The only irritation I still have is that I have to tuck my long hair behind my ears from time to time. The light is on and somebody is calling me to wake up. ?Anna, why so early? I want to sleep some more!? ?Remember we agreed to run this morning? ?No, I don?t? ?You also said that it is only early in morning when we can run here. Later it will be too crowded.? I don?t remember any discussion about running, maybe Anna just got bored staying indoors? But OK, it can be nice, I haven't tried to run for a long time. The blue running skirt sits high on my waistline exposing my legs. And the matching top exposes my belly button. I have never worn anything like this. I go to the mirror to check how it looks like on me. I was worried that being almost naked will clearly show that I?m a guy pretending to be a girl. But I was worrying for nothing. The girl in the mirror has small breasts and she lacked hips, but she is unmistakably a girl. The pigtails need to be braided again and I considered for a moment asking Anna to apply some makeup to my face, but decide against it. I put studs in my ears though, to complete the image and we go outside. We ride the lift and I just can?t stop staring at Anna?s belly bottom piercing. It looks so attractive on her! ?It is a real diamond. I was guarding one rich guy and we got a little bit too close ... I got it as a good-bye present. We can go and get yours pierced if you like.? I force myself to look away. Of course I don?t want to be pierced, so why would I like it? We run together along the Fontanka river breathing in it?s morning coolness. Anna also likes to run and she is in good shape, but she is no match for me. I start to tease her and slowly but steadily increase the speed. She impressed me with being able to keep up with me for a while, but slowly I start to outrun her. ?Liza, wait for me!? I hear Anna shouting, but I only speed up again and again. ?Try to get me!? I feel free, alive and happy. I run to the popular park ?Summer Garden? and run deep inside of it before stopping finally and wondering with a smile how long it will take Anna to find me there. Suddenly I hear muffled cries somewhere close to me. Something is going on just a few meters away from me. Carefully I come close and look through the bushes. A terrifying picture of two scantily clad girls and a dozen men from one of the ?stan? countries preparing to rape them. Such things happen more and more often. The girls were probably walking out of a night club when they were lured or forced into the park. I feel frightened. I should wait for Anna and we should call for help. One of the girl is pinned to the ground and one of the bastards is gagging her mouth with a hand. Her skirt is up and another bastard is tearing away her panties. Her terror-filled eyes find mine and I can feel her desperate plea to me. Something snaps inside of me. ?Good morning motherfuckers!? I say and step forward. I don?t have any fear now, just rage. The bastards freeze for a second, but seeing that it is just another girl they laugh and two of them run to me with lust in the eyes. I stand passively waiting for them to come close to me, before stepping aside and hitting the first in his adam?s apple with an open hand. Before the first attacker was able to drop down, I stepped around him and slapped the second in his face and tear away part of his face at the same time. I turn to the rest and walk to them smiling. Not able to understand what is going on, too busy trying to fuck the girls, they just start to shout to each other in their language and a few more of them run to me, only to fall on the grass severely injured or dead. It took another second or two for the rest of the gang to understand that something was going terribly wrong. But finally the remaining three of them run. They weren?t able to run too far. Anna comes, breathing hard and she is saying something to me, but I?m not able to understand. She is looking at my hands with blood on them and saying something again and gestures to go. It easy to understand, we need to go. We run together back to the hotel, stopping only to wash my hands in a fountain. We come inside the hotel and Anna is calling someone and saying something quickly. I still am not able to understand her. But suddenly I feel tired. ?I will go and sleep a little bit,? I say and see Anna looking strangely at me. I fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. I wake up still feeling tired. I was asleep the whole day, but can sleep some more, would sleep some more, but I also need to relieve myself and I feel very hungry. I stand in from of toilet bowl, trying to figure out how to get my short cock out and not get my panties and the skirt wet. Finally I just put my panties down and sit on the toilet. I should probably do it this way from now on, I think peacefully. Anna is in another room reading a book ?Old Slavonic?. ?Why would you need to read such a book?? ?Yuri said that you may be able to understand it when you are in the trance. And I need a way to communicate with you next time you go berserk.? I?m trying not to think about what happened in the park. ?Let?s go somewhere to eat,? I said. ?I would rather not go anywhere and order food from room service.? ?Fine, I will go with Alex then,? I say knowing for sure that Anna wouldn?t let me go alone. I call Alex and he agrees to go with us. I choose a dress and matching heels. For some reason I