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Anyone Could Do It Janet L. Stickney [email protected] "God! You're going to be just as cute as can be!" "But I don't want to wear a dress!" "Yes dear, I know that, but we both know that you don't have a choice, right? Not after you foolishly said that anyone could do it; it's too late for that now, so just stand still and let me help you get ready. We don't want anyone to know that you're a boy do we?" "Not hardly!" "Well, lets get started then." When mom was done with me I was dressed from the skin out like a girl, complete with white panties, white pantyhose, shiny white shoes and a frilly white dress, and worse, a bra! My hair was a wig, but it fastened at the top of my head, and mom had brushed it out so that it looked like it was all my own hair. The white gloves and small white purse were the last straw. I almost ripped everything off, except that my dad walked in right then. "I can't believe you opened your mouth and ended up volunteering for this! Look at yourself! You look..." "But I didn't volunteer!" "She looks just darling, and you know it! Now, go get ready, they're expecting us." Dad drove, mom sat next to him and I sat in the back. As he approached the hall I began to get real nervous, and it only got worse when mom took me by the hand as we went inside together. With my short life flashing before my eyes, I heard people talking about how cute, darling, or beautiful I was. I ignored all that, remembering exactly what I had said , my biggest mistake ever, the one that got me into this fix... "Mom! Carol says that she won't do it now! She signed up for camp, thinking it started the week after the wedding, and her mom already paid for her to be there, so now I won't have a flower girl!" "I know you planned it all out honey, but not having a flower girl isn't the end of the world is it? We'll just do without a flower girl!" My aunt sounded very reasonable. "But mom, I want a flower girl!" "What's the big deal?" I said, opening my big mouth, "It's just a girl in a fancy dress carrying a bunch of flowers, heck, anyone could do it!" "Oh?" they all said at once. "Well? What's the big deal? Like I said, it's just a girl in a white dress carrying some flowers! Just get somebody else to do it!" "And who do you suggest?" "Wait a minute," my cousin Angela, the bride to be said grinning, "didn't he just say that anyone could do it? Well? Why not him? We all know there's nobody else, and I'll bet he'll look just darling as a flower girl! And besides, who would know, except the family?" "I'm not wearing a dress!" I said rather loudly, and firmly I thought, but that didn't count I guess. "But you just said that anyone could do it, and you're about the right size..." "No!" I said vehemently, even louder. "Since," mom said suddenly, "you were so adamant that anyone could do it, tell me, why not you?" "Because I'm not a girl!" "It's just a fancy dress you said. Anyone could do it you said; that sounds to me like you're volunteering to me!" "No way dad! I'm not going to wear a dress...no way!" "Just how long would this have to last?" Dad finally asked while calmly ignoring me. "Two rehearsals, the wedding of course, then the reception..." My Aunt was starting to sound excited! "There are," mom interrupted, "three bridal showers between now and then Angela, don't forget those." "But he would only have to dress up on those days?" My dad asked, sounding unsure for the first time. My aunt nodded her head yes, then added..."After he gets fitted for the dress of course, I'm guessing there will have to be some minor alterations alterations, but yes, I would think so, why?" 'So...just a few parties," dad said, "then the rehearsal and wedding? What? Maybe....ten days, two weeks altogether?" "Assuming everything goes as planned, that sounds about right, but it might go a month, why?" Mom sounded exasperated. "Because," dad said with a sad but resigned tone in his voice, "I think that since he opened his big mouth, one time to many, that maybe this will be just the lesson he needs to learn when to be quiet! In fact, I'm so tired of his outbursts that I think he just volunteered to be the flower girl, and he will do his very best to act like the proper young lady at all times, won't you?" Dad was staring right at me. "Right?" "Dad! I don't want to be a flower girl! I don't want to wear some frilly dress...I won't..." "Don't tell me what you won't do," dad snapped, "or things might just get worse than they already are! The issue is already settled! You opened your mouth at the wrong time and in the wrong place; I warned you about that before, more than once, so just take your lumps, do your best, and before you know it this will all be over. You'll laugh about this later, I promise." With my own dad making a ruling like that, nothing I said had any effect on anyone except mom, and all she did was tell me that as soon as we got home she would have to get some measurements, emphasizing with a wide grin that I would need at least six different outfits, all while she and my Aunt were going on and on about how cute I was going to be! Not only did I not want to dress up like a girl, I knew it would get very ugly if I put up a huge fuss, about getting all dressed up like a girl I mean, and for the life of me I just could not figure out how I ended up with my dad demanding that I be some flower girl! He had never done anything like that before, but he had scolded me about mouthing off before; I just never figured he would make me wear a dress! Mom went into a frenzy when we got home, insisting that I let her take my measurements, and if that wasn't bad enough, I was naked when she did it! As a 12, almost 13 year old boy, I had developed a keen sense of being naked around anyone, let alone my mother, but she cut me no slack and insisted, then went about her task with ruthless efficiency, and you can't imagine what she measured! Figuring I had nothing to worry about for at least two months, you can imagine my shock when two days later she called me into her bedroom, and told me to get undressed again. I could see the clothes on the bed, among other things, a skirt and blouse, panties and shoes, and a wig box! "I'm going to help you get dressed honey, so you'll have to get undressed." "But the wedding isn't for almost two months! Why do I have to get dressed up now!? Mom! I don't want to do this! It's crazy, and if anyone finds out, I..I might as well kill myself! I'll be dead meat around here, and when word gets out in school....why do I have to do this now!? The wedding isn't for another few months!" "Because I want to see how you'll look for one. I need to see how the clothes fit, and make sure I got the right sizes! Plus, I want you to have a few days to get used to wearing them since we'll be going shopping together for the rest of your wardrobe later today, tomorrow, and maybe even the next day!" "The rest?" "Honestly! Weren't you paying any attention? We have three bridal showers to attend and at least two rehearsals, all before the wedding! That means that you'll need to have at least five outfits, not including the flower girl dress, and that doesn't include some casual clothes for you to wear while you get used to dressing and acting like a girl! Now, please, no more arguments! Take your clothes off and let me help you get ready." There was no use in trying to fight her about it, I already knew I was going to lose, dad would make sure of that, or make it worse, so I started to undress. My hair, courtesy of the wig mom used, hung straight down and went a little past my shoulders, was parted in the middle with short bangs, and had a ribbon to hide where she attached it to the top of my head. The top fit me snugly and accented the small mounds on my chest, while my legs stuck out from under the short denim skirt. The panties were okay I guess, but the tightness of the bra felt really strange. The pantyhose made my legs look shiny and smooth, maybe even longer than I thought they were, and the white flats made my feet look smaller. Small earrings, a bracelet and a necklace were nothing compared to the way I looked with makeup on. I had been shocked into silence while mom was gushing when she stood me in front of the mirror. I hated to admit it, but I looked like most of the girls in my class! "See? I told you that you would look just darling!" "Mom?" "What dear?" "Do I really have to do this? I don't want to dress up like a girl!" "Yes dear, we know that, but ever since you started middle school, you have been mouthy and rude, you have started to talk back, and have been saying whatever was on your mind! Maybe your friends can get away with that, but we're not going to tolerate it. When you said that anyone could do it, we all know that you meant any girl could do it, but maybe by making you do this you'll learn to use your manners and quit being so rude all the time! We simply aren't going to let you get away with that kind of behavior! That's why you are going to do this, and I really do hope that you take my advice and try to become as feminine as possible; because maybe, that way your friends won't find out, or figure out, who you are!" Determined is what she sounded like, just like my dad. I had tears in my eyes when I asked, "Is this... what I'll look like at the wedding?" "Of course not! By the time of the wedding you hair will be long enough, and you'll get it done at the salon just like all of the other girls in the wedding, and they'll probably do your makeup as well. Why? Is there a problem?" "It's...I didn't think that I would be so...look so...this is terrible mom!" "Why? Because you're pretty? Come over here and sit down a minute." After I sat next to her on the bed..."If you think about it, being a pretty girl is actually going to help you! What I mean is, if you don't look like you, then who is going to find out, and isn't that what you said? Didn't you tell us that if you had to do this, then you didn't want anyone to know?" "Yeah, but..." "But what? Go look in the mirror again, then tell me that any of your friends would know that the girl standing there is really you!" "They wouldn't I guess, but..." "You know," mom said ignoring my pleading eyes, "if you had been born a girl, your name would have been Susan, so how about we call you that, while you're dressed as a girl I mean." "Yeah, whatever, I guess, but.... this is so...I feel like a dork mom, I don't think I can..." "Okay then," she said, still ignoring me, "now that we have that settled, shall we go? I have a purse here for you to carry. Put your lipstick and a few tissues in it, and while you do that I'll get my purse and we can go." "Do I have to go outside? Really?" "Yes dear, you have to go. The clothes have to fit, which means that you'll have to try them on, at least the dresses anyway, now do what I said and we'll go." It felt strange to walk around in the skirt, but I managed, and I was fine, right up until mom and I walked outside. I saw Billy, my friend from next door coming up the drive! My first instinct was to run in the house, but mom put her hand on my shoulder and held me there. He looked right at me for a moment, then asked if I were at home! Mom told him I would be gone for a while, and introduced me as Susan. He said hi, then walked away! He didn't know who I was! I was both saddened as well as elated, knowing that he did not recognize me, yet there was that gigantic leap my brain had made when I saw how he looked at me. I looked like a girl, something I never thought possible, then having my best friend look at me that way, well, it made me feel icky. Billy was walking home, and as we passed him in the car, he waved. I didn't wave back. The first place we went was a discount store where mom bought several packages of panties, most of them with a design on them, then more pantyhose, two skirts and several tops or blouses. Then I tried on shoes, getting two pair. I couldn't see why I needed all that stuff, but mom said I would, so rather than draw attention to myself, I kept silent. From there we went to the mall, but on the way... "Since you'll want to fit in as completely as you can, I was wondering, what about getting your ears pierced?" "Do I have to?" "No, but the holes will heal up rather quickly when this is over, and in the meantime you'll be able to wear earrings that won't hurt your earlobes. That's the only reason I asked." "As long as I don't have to walk around with holes in my ears I guess it'll be okay, if you're sure the holes will heal up I mean." "They will, I promise. Lets get that done first, then we'll see about some better help for you. I been noticing that most girls your age are a bit bigger busted than I thought they would be. I guess I never paid any attention before, so we'll take care of that first, then see if we can do something about that other thing, then see about some bras and other things before we check out the party dresses." She took me into a specialty lingerie shop, one that sold things for women that were not as full figured as they wanted to be. Mom told the lady right out that she thought that my boobs were too small for a girl my age, and wondered if she could help. Trying to sink into the floor did no good at all, especially after the lady said yes. It was horrendously humiliating to have to take the blouse off and have her see that I was a boy, but the lady didn't flinch. Instead she pulled out a pair of what she said were A cup breasts, showed them to mom and I, and when mom nodded her head, she promptly stuck them to my chest! With some glue! "These are just right for a growing girl like you, but you'll have to take them off at least once a month to let the skin breath, okay? Other than that, I can promise you that very soon they'll feel like they're your very own!" Looking in the mirror, and even as little as I knew about boobs, they sure looked real enough to me, and they were the same color as my skin! I couldn't even see a line where they met my chest unless I looked really close! The lady left mom and I alone so I could get dressed, and as mom handed me the bra, I asked her what the lady meant when she said I had to take them off once a month. "She told me that they attached honey, but I figured they used tape or something! I had no idea they used glue, honest, I didn't!" "Does this mean that I have to have them on my chest for a month!? Mom!!!" "Calm down and I'll ask her to be sure I understand. Just go ahead and get dressed while I ask." When mom confronted the lady she asked, "You said a month? Does that mean she can't get them off before then? We didn't plan on this you see, and..." "Well, yes, she could, but most of the girls that come in here, our special girls, the ones like her, normally don't want them to come off, and I just assumed...you were here with her, so I figured you already knew that, and it was okay! Is this going to be a problem?" "What happens if we try to remove them before then?" "Well," I heard the lady say, "the skin can become very irritated if you try to take them off too soon, say two weeks? I'd say that's the very minimum time I'd wait, and even then I would be very careful. I'm terribly sorry about this; I had no idea... but when you brought her in, I thought that you knew all this! Please, let me make it up to you, to her, please!" "But how!? Susan is the one that will have to be dressing as a girl for the next month or so, something we didn't plan on, so how can you make it up to her now?" "Even though the market is quite small, we also carry a special panty for girls like Susan. If she wears it properly, it will allow her to fit in with other girls in any function she chooses without any fear of discovery. If you like, I'll fit her right now, or you can come back after you think about it, say...a few days?" Mom told the lady she would think about it, paid the bill, grabbed my hand and stalked out of the store. She once again apologized, and I believed her when she said she had no idea that lady would glue the breasts to my chest, but still, I was the one stuck with them! There was no way that I could hide them, and that meant that I would have to dress like a girl every day until after the wedding, almost two months away! Mom squeezed my hand as we walked to a small caf?, got a soft drink and sat at a small table. "I guess," mom said softly, "we're all stuck now, aren't we? And you'll have to believe me when I say that I had no idea this would happen, but it looks like you'll just have to adapt to a new way of life, at least for the next few months honey. I know it'll be hard, but just about the time we could get those off, you'll need them again!" "I'll have to dress like this...as a girl, all the time won't I?" "It looks like it, doesn't it?" Dejected, I sat there looking into my drink. "It's not so bad being a girl you know, after all, I'm a girl and I turned out alright didn't I?" "Yeah but..." Then I started to cry. "Don't cry honey, it was a mistake, that's all. We'll just have to make the best of it...okay?" I wiped my eyes as she said..."Since it looks like you'll be a girl a bit longer than we planned on, why don't we get you some jeans and shorts, and maybe another skirt and a few nice dresses for church and a nice pair of nice low heels to go with your church dresses!" Despite how I felt about my growing dilemma, that's exactly what happened. Mom bought me some jeans, some shorts, two more tops, a pair of capri pants, two more dresses, and a pair of low heels. When we got home and took it all into my room, I was faced with having to remove some of my own clothes just to make room for the new stuff! Briefs were replaced with panties, pantyhose and bras, my pants with skirts and dresses. Mom helped me put things away, then opened her purse and gave me a lipstick, telling me that I could wear it if I wanted to. I set it on the dresser instead. Telling me that I might as well get it over with, she said that I should go outside, and maybe ride around on my bike. "I want you to put some shorts on, then I want you to go outside until dinner time." "Do I have to?" "I'm not going to let you spend the next two months cooped up and hiding in the house Susan! Now, do what I said. Change your clothes and go outside!" I did not want to go outside, not looking like a girl anyway, but mom wasn't about to tolerate much more, so I was really stuck and I knew it. The plain fact was that sooner or later I would have to go outside whether I wanted to or not, so, taking one last look in the mirror I sighed as mom patted my shoulder. Long blond hair, lipstick, earrings and boobs, there wasn't much left of the old me! My only consolation was that Billy had not recognized me. Shopping with mom was one thing, she could protect me, but being outside and dressed like a girl in my own neighborhood was just plain scary. I changed into the shorts and as I walked around the side of the house I could feel the breasts bouncing in the bra, the unfamiliar tug on my chest a clear reminder of my new status. I was supposed to act like a girl, and those breasts kept driving that home. Taking my bike, I rode down the driveway, almost making it to the street. I saw Janice coming towards me. Janice lived three houses down. "Hi! I'm Janice!" "Susan," I told her, using the name mom gave me. "You're new here." "Yeah, I'll be here for a few months I guess." "Cool! Want to come over to my house? You can meet my mom?" "I better ask," I told her, "I'm not sure that I can." "I'll wait then!" Of course mom said it was okay, sounding overjoyed that Janice wanted to have me as a friend. Janice and I hung around together all day. But almost everything she did was alien to me, like the way she talked, that funny question in everything she said, then there was the time she wanted to go tease Billy. I refused to do that, which is when she decided that she wanted to play with her dolls! That took a lot of acting on my part, but Janice never seemed to notice, and I went home just before dinner. Dad really went ballistic when mom told him why I would have to be a girl full time for at least two months, and threatened to sue that shop until mom said he would do no such thing. Mom said that as bad as it might seem, it would be good for me to practice being a girl, and since he was the one that insisted I learn a lesson, well, lets just say that he lost that discussion...I think. Maybe it was me that lost. Dad was fuming but he quit making threats, then he suggested that maybe, since everyone in the neighborhood knew me, that I might feel a bit more comfortable staying with my grandma, and after having spent the whole day as a girl, I thought it was a great idea myself. "But why?" mom asked, "Susan is our...daughter, at least for a while anyway, and I don't see any reason for her to run off and hide! She has already spent the day outside playing with Janice, and her friend Billy didn't know who she was, so I see no reason why she would have to spend the summer with grandma!" "That's fine with me," dad said sourly, "if that's your decision, but you should be aware that two months is a long time, longer than either of you might imagine! What I mean is, maybe we should try to find some sort of activity that our son can fit into easily, especially since he'll be wearing a dress!" "That's a wonderful idea," mom said with a sudden grin, "I know that Janice is involved with some kind of group, let me call her mother and find out what it is, then we'll see if Susan can join!" After dinner that's exactly what mom did, and after talking to Janice's mom for a while, she came to find me. I was watching television with dad. "Janice belongs to the Young Nurses, and she told me they are always looking for new girls to join, so I made all the arrangements. Susan and I will go out in the morning and talk to the lady that runs the program, but I think it'll be a wonderful experience for Susan, and she'll be with Janice! Maybe she'll make some new friends!" Mom paused a moment, then wagged her finger at me and we went into the kitchen. "Your father is right honey, two months is a long time, and since it looks like you'll probably be spending a lot of time around girls your age, I was wondering if maybe we shouldn't take that lady up on her offer? What I mean is, if she has something that will make you look like a girl, down there I mean, then maybe we should go back and see what she has. I know you don't want anyone to find out, and we certainly don't want you to get into any trouble, so maybe we should at least check it out?" "That means that I wouldn't be able to...that I would look like a girl? All over!? I would have to...do things like a girl?!" "I'm not sure, she wasn't very clear on that, but she did say that it would eliminate any chance of discovery, so I'm assuming that you would be able to wear anything Janice could wear, and yes, I think it would not only make you look like a girl all over, but if I'm guessing right, you'll have to do everything the way a girl does, but if you have to dress like a girl anyway, wouldn't you rather make sure nobody finds out who you are?" "Yeah, but that would mean that I..." "Would almost be a real girl, and I also think that we should drive over there tomorrow morning and see what that lady meant, don't you?" No matter what I wanted, all it took for me was to look down and see boobs sticking out, my boobs, and I knew that mom was right. Spending almost the entire summer at home as a girl and not having to worry about Billy or anyone else finding out could only be a good thing, so I nodded my head yes, then broke out crying, falling into mom's arms sobbing. I did not want to be a girl, didn't want to be in any wedding, didn't want to look like a girl all over, and I didn't want to join some all girl group of any kind. All I saw ahead was terror and disgrace. Mom stroked my hair, apologized again, then told me that once I got used to it, being a girl wasn't that bad, and might even be fun if I just let it happen. That night I slept in a long cotton nightgown that mom gave me, telling me that I might as well get used to it. The next morning after I was ready, Mom and I went back to the same shop where the lady sort of smirked before she showed us what she had talked about. My eyes almost fell out of my head, mom gasped, and the lady smiled as she pointed to one of the changing booths. I was embarrassed as hell as mom stood there watching as I was fitted for one of the ladies special panties, and when she was done, and just like the boobs, if you didn't know I was a boy, you probably never would. It was nerve wracking to see myself in the mirror, all traces of my manhood gone, replaced by a.... I looked just like a girl! In two days I had become a girl in almost every way, but the lady solidly drove that home when she told me that I would have to do things in the bathroom the way girls do, and for me not to forget that, and my mom could help me with that. As if I would forget! So, there I was, a completely normal 12, almost 13 year old boy, except for the fact that I looked just like a completely normal 13 year old girl! Only my hair would give me away, or so I thought. On the way home mom stopped at a beauty shop, had them remove the fall, then style my hair like a girl with shorter hair would. By then I no longer had any fight in me and just sat there and let the girl do what mom told her. To be truthful, it was a lot cooler without the wig. When we were almost home, mom and I stopped at Janice's house so mom could pick up Janice and take us to see the lady that ran the Young Nurses group. I was enrolled on the spot, told what I had to wear, and was given a schedule. Janice and I made sure that I would be working the same days as she did, which was going to make it easier on me, but I still had no idea what the group did! All I knew was that I would be helping real nurses. Janice said she would loan me one of her uniforms, and mom took us home. That afternoon was the very first time I ever saw a real girl almost naked. Janice took me to her bedroom, handed me one of her uniforms and promptly undressed! She put hers on, then watched as I stripped down to my panties and bra and stepped into the short white skirt and slipped into the red and white stripped blouse, then I saw her staring at me. "What!?" "Nothing Susan, sorry. It's just that I thought you were someone else playing a trick on me." "But?" "But you're a girl, and the person I'm thinking of is a boy." "I'm not a boy!" I said, the lie so easily coming to my lips. "Yeah. I saw. Lets go show your mom the uniforms!" Mom said we looked "adorable," then told us to go change so we wouldn't get the uniforms dirty. That night dad figured out something was different about me, but didn't ask me, he asked mom, and once again started fuming when he found out. That night I got my first lesson in using the bath, but everything seemed okay, even though I felt very weird. In the morning I got dressed, selecting a pair of shorts and a top. That's the morning that Billy stopped by. I could tell by the look on his face that he thought he should know me, so I got real girlie on him. "Hi," he said, "I'm Billy? We met the other day?" "Yeah, I remember. I'm Susan." "Where's Greg?" "He's gone for the summer." "You and Janice, you're spending a lot of time together." "She and I have more in common I guess." "Yeah, doing girl stuff." "Janice and I are in the Young Nurses together." "So, will I see you around this summer?" "Some I guess, why?" "Just wondering, that's all. See ya!" "Bye." Billy walked off, leaving me standing there. I was shaking a bit. Just like I had with Janice, I had told him I was a girl! I knew it was for my own self defense, but still, it made me wonder what was happening to me. I started walking to Janice's house since I had nowhere else to go. Janice and hung around together a while, then I went home, bored out of my mind. I couldn't do any of the things I normally would have, like head for the railroad tracks with Billy and throw stones at the trains, or maybe tease Janice, but there was no way that was going to happen! I went in the house and flopped on a chair just as mom came into the room. "What's the matter honey?" "There's nothing to do! I mean, I used be able to do lots of stuff, but now..." I started to cry again. "It's going to take a few days to adjust honey. How about this? Call Janice and see if she would like to go to the mall with us. You and I have to pick your dresses anyway, and maybe she would like to come along? We'll make a day of it, okay?" Trying on, then buying dresses for myself sounded crazy to me, and made me feel as if it would be the final step. "I know how much you like to use the pool," mom added, "so maybe we'll also get you a suit. Go ahead and call Janice and see if she wants to come along honey, it'll be a fun day, I promise." I loved going to the pool, but I knew that if I went, I would have to wear a girls bathing suit. Just thinking of that gave me the chills. If I went to the pool as a girl, then everyone would see that I looked like a girl, and that would end any chance I had to deny it later on! Mom saw me hesitate, then took my hand and stood me in front of the mirror, asking me to say that I looked like anything but a girl. With my eyes still wet, I could not say it, and after mom urged me to call, I phoned Janice, asked her if she wanted to go to the mall with mom and I, and got an excited yes. Then my mom took the phone and talked to her mom. We picked up Janice and her mother, then headed for the mall, but unlike Janice, I wasn't all that excited about it. I never wanted to end up as a girl anyway, and now I was on my way to buy dresses and maybe even a girls swimsuit...for me! Janice had seen me in a bra and panties, which convinced her that I was a girl, then I had told my very best friend in the whole world that I was a girl, which only dug a deeper hole for me to try and climb out of later, if I even could! Janice was excited to be out shopping, something I always dreaded, and it took all of my strength to not be sullen and ornery about it. The four of us went in the mall, my mom suggesting, no, make that telling me, that for an affair like a wedding, every girl should have some fancy underwear, and we all went into one of those shops that as a boy, I always liked to look in the window. I only had to try on one thing, a bra that mom picked out; it was white, very sheer, with lace trim and hooked in the front. Then she went and picked out two more of them! One white, the other flesh colored, with high cut panties to match. When I tried it on I could see for myself that the bra did very little to hide anything; about all it did was hold things in place! Once I was dressed, we left there and headed for the bridal shop to get fitted for the dress I would need wear in the wedding. It was white with small blue flowers on it, with a round neck surrounded by lace trim, almost floor length, with a pale blue ribbon that went around the waist and short sleeves mom said were called "cap sleeves". Each one had a small blue bow on it, and was just about the most feminine dress I had ever seen! I had to try it on so it could be altered to fit me, and when the lady was done and I was once again dressed, we went through the mall until we came to a store that sold party and prom dresses. Because I had "at least three bridal showers to attend," mom told me, I was going to get three dresses, since "no woman would wear the same dress to parties when some of the same women would be there". That made no sense to me, but since I had no say, I once again kept silent, although after being fitted for that first dress, I was a bit less tense. Janice was in her glory as she flitted from one rack to another, dragging me along as she went, and sadly, I started to become as giddy as she was. I picked out two that I liked, mom picked out a few, then I tried them all on. In the end, I got both of mine and one of mom's. Then it was on to a department store where I got new heels in black, and red, plus flats in tan and white, and lastly, some sandals. Janice bought a pair of pink flats, and as we left that area.... "Let's get Susan' ears pierced," mom said, "I promised her we could do that, and while we're there she can get some jewelry she'll need." That's exactly what happened. I got my ears pierced, about twelve pairs of cheap earrings plus three matching sets for the wedding and so on, plus some hair clips. Janice also bought some stuff, and from there mom headed for one of those sports stores, saying that I had changed so much that I needed a new suit. That was for Janice and her mothers benefit I think, and once we were in the store, she went straight for the suits for girls, but not one of them met the standards our mothers had set. We left for the mart where mom and I picked out two, one a full suit, which was bad enough, but the other was a two piece. Once we got home, mom had me try everything on again, the last thing was that two piece suit. See, the thing is, boys aren't supposed to look the way I did, but with boobs and no manlies, well, I did, and it really gave me the willies. The top was okay I guess, I expected that, but the bottoms, well, they fit real snug, revealing a lot, especially the way they fit in the crotch. I walked out to show mom, and saw her talking to Billy! "Oh my! That looks wonderful honey! It fits you perfectly!" "Hi Susan." "Hi Billy." "New suit?" "Yeah. I got it today." "Her old one just wouldn't do any more, so we picked this one up today." Mom didn't lie, but the impression she left was..." "Looks good on you Susan! You going to go to the pool?" "It's the only place around here, so probably, yeah, I guess so, why?" "I'm going over there with my buddy Tom tomorrow, and was wondering if you might be there, that's all." "Maybe, I don't know yet." Billy left for home, but I was left standing there fully aware for the first time not only how feminine I looked, but how my best friend was starting to think of me! Thinking I was a girl, he was starting to see if I were interested! In him! I glanced at mom, but all she said was that it was up to me! I went in the kitchen to ask why she said that, but that's just when dad walked the house. He took one look at me and his face went red, then purple, then back to just red before he said a word. "What the hell! You look....how did you...never mind! I don't think I want to know! Go put some clothes on, right now!" As I left..."I know what you said, but how is it that he can wear...." I lost track of what dad was saying after that, but I can guess. I slipped on a pair of jeans and pulled a tee on, then went back in the kitchen. Dad seemed a bit less angry as I walked out the back door. I walked down to the street and stood there for a moment, unsure where I should go, and started for Janice's house when Billy rode up on his bike. "You look a lot like Greg." "Some I guess, we're related." "Yeah. Ah...listen, me and some of the other kids are going to the pool, then Maryanne is having a get together at her house, and I was wondering if you might want to go?" "I don't know Maryanne," I said, even though I knew her very well. "You can come as my guest, if you want to that is." "I...I'm not sure my mom would let me, but..." "So...will you ask? I can wait here, if you go ask right now..." I went in and casually told mom what Billy said, hoping she would tell me to stay home, but she didn't. She told me I could go, as long as parents would be there. Dad heard it all, and asked me if I realized that Billy was asking me out on a date of sorts. "Date? No way dad, it's just a bunch of kids getting together!" "It's a date," he said forcefully, "with a boy!" "Yes," mom said, "you can go, and no, it isn't a date! Go tell Billy you'll meet him at the pool, but tell him you'll have to come home to change." Well, I went to the pool, wearing the two piece, which was my choice. I figured that my best chance to convince everyone that I was a girl was to wear something that would eliminate any doubt. Janice and I went together, joining in with some other girls that were already there, and I knew every one of them. The boys stayed together like the girls did, with very little interaction, just a lot of laughing and giggling. I went in the water exactly once, then got out and dried off. Later at home I changed into a denim skirt with a pink pull over top that had the word "Princess," in glitter on the front. It was one mom bought. Dad drove me and Janice to the party, leaving only after he was assured that Maryanne's parents would be there. Since I still had the social skills of a boy, I felt out of place and very awkward around all those kids. Just like at the pool, the girls tended to huddle together in one place, the boys in another, with a lot of stares going both ways. "I think Brian likes you Susan." It was Maryanne. "Who's Brian?" I asked, one of the few that I did not know. "The tall one...over there next to the railing, by the pop." "What makes you say that?" "He asked me about you, that why." "Billy likes her too," Janice said, "he's been over to her house three times already!" "Yeah, but I'm not interested in boys!" "Yeah right!" Both Janice and Maryanne said as one. I did my best to steer clear of the boys, but Brian did say hi to me....once. By the time I got home I was a wreck. The fact that my best friend in the whole world thought I was a girl, and was interested in me was bad enough, but having someone else getting interested in me really scared me, and I began to wonder if I had already become more of a girl than I imagined possible, or ever wanted to happen! All I wanted to do was get this over with! That night when I went to bed, I undressed and stood looking at my body, from my styled hair down past my face, still wearing some makeup, then to my breasts, my bubble butt, rounded hips, and finally my groin. Not one sign that I was a boy was left. The only thing that was left was my shattered and badly beaten self esteem. I cupped a breast in each hand, then let my hand slide down between my legs, merely confirming what I already knew. I had become a girl, and everyone thought so too. As that thought settled in my mind, I had no idea just how much more like a girl I was going to get. That happened two days later when I was at breakfast. I was sitting there with mom when I felt a warmness in my groin, and since I knew that I had not peed my pants, I quickly stood up. Mom saw the trickle of red running down my leg, and quickly rushed me into my bathroom, telling me to undress. My panties were red in the front! "Oh my God! You've started your period!" "That's impossible mom! Boys don't have periods!" "Be quiet and do what I tell you! Go in the bathroom, take those off and put them in the sink! I'll be right back!" A period? Me? It was impossible, yet I could not deny the fact that I had blood running down my leg, and my groin was all bloody! Mom returned quickly, showed me how to clean up, then handed me a small tube and proceeded to tell me how to use it! Like me, mom looked stunned when that tube slipped into me with almost no effort, I thought she was going to faint! I put on clean panties, then shorts and clean socks, then went to find mom. I had to find out why I was having a period! We both knew it was impossible, yet.... Mom was on the phone, her face one of stunned silence when she turned to face me. "I just talked to that lady? The one that gave you those that panty? It seems that it's designed to be as fully functional and accurate as possible. She told me to read the instructions, but since you seemed to be able to function well enough, I guess I forgot! She reminded me that there are six small packets of simulated blood inside the panty that are time released for about a month apart! That means that you'll be having periods for as long as you wear that panty!" "Mom!" "I know, it's my fault for not reading the instructions, but since it's already happened, you'll just have to do what all the other girls do, and put up with it! It'll only last a week, I promise." Once again there was nothing I could do. Janice and I were just sitting around when I mentioned that I had started my periods, and she confided that she had already had two. Knowing that about each other seemed to cement our relationship and we became even closer. On Monday morning, wearing a borrowed uniform, Janice and I reported to the nursing home and I began my stint as part of the Young Nurses. My job was to make sure the residents had what they needed, including a friendly someone to talk to. Over the next week I began to enjoy working there because all of the people tended to treat me like a granddaughter. Mom bought me three uniforms of my own that week. After I had that period, it seemed as if I fell into a routine that was all girl, and as I began to use the gained knowledge of the way girls used their hands and arms, and talked, my life was almost normal. Dad settled down, mom fussed over me, and Janice thought of me as a sister of sorts. Billy kept his distance but kept watching me, Brian never called, and my life revolved around Janice and my work. When I went to the first bridal shower I wore a simple blue and white dress that was fitted, about knee length with white heels, my hair brushed out in a flip. I had no idea what went on at a bridal shower since boys never attend, but it was actually fun, especially when Angela opened several gifts that turned out to be very sexy lingerie! She flatly refused to model them for us, but she had a gleam in her eye anyway. Nobody hinted at or even suggested that I wasn't a girl, there was no teasing, hints, nothing. Then I was handed a gift by Angela. "Every girl needs to feel sexy Susan, and I picked this out just for you myself!" I opened the box, removed the paper, then held up a powder blue babydoll nightgown! "Try it on," someone said... "Yes! Try it on!" That started everyone chanting, and as I looked at the circle of women, I held out the tiny panties and the sheer bra. Looking over at mom, she whispered in my ear. "Go ahead honey, if you don't Angela might think there's something wrong with it, and we would all like to see it. Besides, it would let you....show off? Make a point? Get it?" I did. I took the box and headed for Angela's bedroom, took the dress, bra and panties and pantyhose off, then put the entire set on. Still wearing the low heels, I sauntered back into the room with a grin on my face. That babydoll didn't hide a thing, and almost all of the changes that I had undergone were clearly evident, from the tiny groove in the front of the panty to my breasts, which could be seen through the sheer see through top. There was a lot of whistling, but Angela, my Aunt and grandma were all wide eyed and silent as I paraded around the room, grinning the whole time. Then I went back to the bedroom to change. I knew when I agreed to try it on and walk around like that that I was going cause some people to wonder what was going on, but by then I was very comfortable as a girl, and simply didn't care any more. That night I appeared in the family room wearing that same babydoll, which caused my dad to almost choke, especially since he could almost see through the G-string I was wearing and also see how it fit me. "Is this what this has come to!?" he sort of said loudly. "Our son can wear something like that!? And look more like a girl than a real girl!?" "It was a gift, and yes, this is what it has come to," mom said, "so quit harping on it! You knew all along that she had to dress this way. Besides, she's already had her first period, so why shouldn't she look like a girl?!" "Her period! That's impossible! Dammit! As soon as the wedding is over this all stops, and I mean it!" I looked over at mom who was stone faced, then back at dad, and said one word. "No." "No? What does that mean?" "It means that I can't go back to being a boy, not now!" "And why not?" "I...I...I think it would be better to wait a little? Until...until the start of school is closer?" "Maybe she's right honey," mom said quickly, "maybe waiting until the last minute would make the transition back to being a boy easier...right?" I attended all the rest of the bridal parties, participated in the wedding, danced with some kid who was my age and one of the groomsmen, then spent the next three weeks working and hanging around Janice. Then the day finally came, and I had to quit being Susan and go back to being Greg. Mom and I told Janice that I had to go back to where I came from, then we spent a lot of time removing all my special stuff. Mom trimmed my hair a little, then I got dressed in normal boy clothes for the first time in months. It was real hard for me to see myself like that since I wasn't used to it, but it was harder trying to do things the way guys did! Things like walking, or using my hands and arms, and I had to quit talking in that breathlessly questioning way girls did. I didn't go out of the house for almost three days because I kept practicing, and to be truthful, I hated every minute of it. As silly as it sounds, I missed being a girl and really didn't want to quit when I did. Mom let me keep all the clothes and stuff, and other than her trim, did not make me cut my hair. School was very painful and only got worse when I saw the girls, the way they were dressed, smelled and acted, and of course, most of the guys wanted to tease them. Mom said that it was normal for boys to tease the girls because they were starting to become attracted to them, but as the days went by I began to feel like I belonged with the girls, and that feeling only got worse as time went on. The torment I was suffering inside finally came to a head, and about two months after school started, I got all dressed up. The relief I felt was better than fantastic, it was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was wearing the green and white checked skirt with a white top and the black flats, makeup, and had fixed my hair when I stood in front of the mirror. Every emotion I had rushed through me when I saw my reflection, from joy all the way to disgust. I loved the way I looked, and wanted to be able to dress that way, but I also knew that boys weren't supposed like wearing skirts, makeup, perfume, ribbons, pantyhose or heels. As much as I wanted to leave my room I didn't dare, so I stayed there, all dressed up, always on the verge of tears. I flopped on the bed, just sitting there for a while, then slipped off the shoes, the first step in returning to my boy self. An hour later I was showered and back to being a boy, and once again felt the weight of the forbidden pressing down on me. Sulking, I meandered into the kitchen, grabbed a juice box and sat down, wondering why I was the only boy in the world that wanted to dress like a girl. "Honey? Is something wrong? You look miserable!" "Nah, I'm alright," I said, then burst into uncontrollable tears. Mom scooped me into her arms, just holding me until my sobs became whimpers, prodding me to tell her what was wrong. When I told her that I wanted to be Susan all the time, I heard her suck in her breath. As confused as I was about the way I felt, I simply couldn't understand why mom was surprised! She was the one that started it all, encouraging me to be as feminine as possible. "I see! I knew that you adapted quite well to being a girl, but...I guess I never figured that you would..." "Boys aren't supposed to feel this way mom! Never mind! Just forget what I said...okay? I'll get by." After just a short pause..."You know," mom said softly, "I miss having a girl around here. Maybe we can arrange for Susan to visit? Maybe get together with Janice and do something that's fun? How about that?" "What about dad? He'll get angry at me again!" "I'll take care of that, but for now, let's plan on Susan returning and going out this Saturday! Okay?" True to her word, that Friday night she put my hair in rollers, and the following morning, I got up, did my makeup and hair, then got dressed in my tan and white plaid skirt with the tight white top, pantyhose, jewelry, the whole works. The mere fact that I could get dressed up and leave my room made me feel overjoyed, but being able to actually go somewhere was even better if a bit scary. My biggest concern was that Janice might actually figure out what was going on. With all that going on in my mind, I left my room, coming face to face with my dad. "Uh...hi dad." "Morning. Your mother tells me you're going shopping?" "Yeah...Mom, Janice and me are going." "Have a nice time," he said, then went into his bedroom! Mom played with my hair a little, then told me to walk over and get Janice, but just as I opened the door, the bell rang. It was Janice! I let her in, then... "Well it's about time! I thought you fell off the edge of the earth!" "Hi Janice." "I've been wondering when I was going to see you again, I mean...I thought we were friends!" "We are, it's just that..." "I've known for a long time who you really were Susan! You thought that I wouldn't talk to you? Didn't you? You thought that I would make fun of you? Is that it?" I know that I went wide eyed right then, shocked when she said she knew who I was! "To tell the truth, I didn't know, not right away, but when you kept calling your mom "mom," I guess I figured it out. Now, are we going shopping or what?" Mom didn't say much as we walked into the mall, letting Janice and I sort of roam around before she herded us towards a department store. On the way some of Janice's girlfriends saw her, waved, and started our way, and before I could say a word they were standing right there in front of us. "Hi Janice!" They all said as one. "What brings you here?" Marion wanted to know. "Me and Susan are here with her mom, just looking I guess." "Susan needs to get a few things," mom interjected, "especially now that school has started." "Maybe we'll see you later?" asked Janet. "Maybe," answered Janice, "we'll see." I managed to get through that encounter without saying a word, and was very relieved when we headed for the store, but what mom said, about needing a few things? What was that all about? My confidence in my ability to become a girl had eroded some, but as we were walking around it began to return, I guess because Janice never once acted as if I were anything but her girlfriend. Still, I could not figure out mom's comment and wanted to ask her about it, but remained silent rather than maybe change her mind. The three of us were in the dress section when mom pulled me aside. "Your father and I talked about this last night, and given the way you feel about this, we have decided to let you dress up once in a while, which means that you'll have to have a few more things. That's why we're here. Now, lets get you a few skirts and maybe a dress, okay?" That's exactly what happened, and after that day, I was allowed to dress up once a month, always for the whole weekend. Janice and I became closer than ever, and I even met some of her friends. That lasted for about four months, then puberty hit. I shot up from about 5 foot to almost 5'5," gained weight, and started to fill out a little, which made already short skirts even shorter, and a lot tighter. Mom adjusted my clothing, and I kept dressing as a girl until the next summer when I began to dress as a girl all the time, which only made it clear that I no longer wanted to be a boy. When I told them mom seemed to understand, but dad went ballistic again. "Not this again!" "It's not again dad," I told him, "it's still. I told you both that I wanted to keep on being a girl but you're the one that told me no... remember? Well, I'm older now, and now I know what I want! I want to be Susan all of the time, not just once in a while!" Dad hated it at first, but was forced to admit that as his daughter I was every bit as smart, polite, (maybe more if the truth be known), and pretty. He hated that most of all I think. The day school ended for the summer mom and I went back to that store, and I was once again fitted for the appliances that gave the look of a girl, only a full B cup, wider hips, and a more pronounced V in the front of my pants. It took a while for dad to adjust, but after a month as his daughter he gave up, telling me that I might as well finish school as a girl. He made the arrangements, and began living as a girl full time. Going from a big mouth little boy to womanhood only shows that if I can do it, anyone can do it!