With A Little Help From My Mom 1 free porn video

With a little help from my mom Like most thirteen years old boys, I had my bicycle, my bat and my football shoes. What I didn't have, were siblings and close friends. I went to the 7th grade. The class was small, dominated by daughters of farmers. One boy had some sort of autistic disorder which made communication difficult. He was busy counting cars and writing down registration plates. The other boy was mostly chatting about basketball, which was not my favourite subject. He had his friends in a nearby village. So, my friends were mainly girls, and my mother the one I preferred. I was mother's only child spending my time biking back and forth on the alley between our 100 years old white wooden house and the main road. I remember the leaves shivering in the wind and the ticking sound under me from my last Christmas present, the new bike. My loving mom On the countryside we lived in a spacey house all by ourselves. Mother was rather eccentric, having her private ideas that were not always understandable to others. She was a fairly tall lady, always concerned about her appearance. Her style was utterly feminine, wearing long dresses, bracelets, lipstick and nail polish. We had a very close relationship. I admired her very much, and my behaviour was a tribute to my mother. "You are my darling," she said. I replied: "You are my mom." I loved sitting right next to her, resting my head against her soft bosom. This was my happy childhood, and I didn't miss anything. I parked my bike outside the entrance, walked in, gave my mother a hug and took a glass of warm milk. She was busy with her astrology and theories of cosmic influence on human behaviour. According to my mom, there were no coincidences in this world. Everything was a result of destiny. I was told how the great persons of history were born under different planetary constellations. That was the explanation to wars, disasters, love affairs and even Olympic gold medals. I believed it. In fact, I believed everything she said. What alternatives were there? She supplied me with most of the information I needed. We hugged and kissed. I loved her warm skin, her friendly small talk and her fondling my hair. "You are such a wonderful kid." "I just love you." "You are the best thing that happened to me." I got a cookie. "Are you happy, love?" I guess I was different from other boys. Maybe I was a little immature for my age. And there were no signs of puberty. My admiration for my mother was something special. Other kids were maybe fighting for their autonomy. I just needed my mother's attention, and I loved her admiring me. Her femininity was interesting. I tried to copy her movements and speech. I wanted to walk like her, swing my hips and stand in front of the mirror like her. I pursued my lips and pressed my eyelashes upward. She laughed softly at me. "You need to practice more, darling." She stood on her knees, held her arm around my waist, looked me in the eyes and smiled: "You would make a perfect girl." She turned the hi-fi on, danced with me on the living room floor, swung her skirt, laughed and hugged me. "Dancing is fun!" I agreed, like always and tried to copy her steps. Actually, she was pretty good. Dancing was her favourite hobby in high school. We could dance for a long time, swing around and have fun. Maybe I could become a great dancer. Fantasy has no limits. - Your hair is so wonderful, Sam. For some reason, my locks had not been cut for several months. Mother liked to let her fingers slide through them. "It is so soft!" Her hair was dark and went to the middle of her back. She used to curl it while I was watching. My hair was blonde and reached my shoulders. "Pretty hair should not be cut!" The girls in my class agreed with my mom. They asked how I manged to keep it so neat. I had no idea. Mother was in charge of the shampooing. But I knew it was a whole procedure. Mother was often removing my hair from my eyes, gazing at me, kissing my forehead, smiling and giving me compliments. "You are the prettiest thing!" I was easy to ask. I loved doing household chores with her. Perhaps I was not very useful, but she seemed to enjoy baking, washing, doing the laundries and cooking together with her son. We talked about food, the world, clothes and people. I used to have a lot of questions, and she did not seem to be bothered by them. I am sure many of my questions were silly. Nevertheless, she tried to answer them seriously. She smiled at my questions, but I never felt silly. Mother was my source of knowledge, comfort, joy and encouragement. Sometimes she invited her girlfriends to our house. The women were laughing and discussing. I tried to follow their conversation, but it was often too boring to keep my attention. Pretty often they turned their eyes to me. Mother bragged about her son, and the women kept nodding and oooing. "He is so cute. What a wonderful guy." Mom was visibly proud of me. She talked to the guests about horoscopes, planets and stars. Some of the ladies didn't follow that and kept silent. After the guests had left, mother shook her head and complained on how some of her friends didn't acknowledge the important things in life. One of our common activities was reading catalogues. Living on the countryside, it was a 30 minutes ride to the next village. So, mum bought a lot of our things by mail. We used to discuss styles and patterns. When she bought clothes for me, I had an opinion first. We always reached common conclusions. - Those would be nice on you." In my little school, there were only a few boys. I thought traditional boy clothes were a bit boring, but certainly knew about the limits between girl's and boy's clothing. The girls in my class were a lot fancier than the boys. I liked their pink and purple garments and gave them compliments when they made good choices. I played with them in the school yard and was accepted as playmate. But I felt I had to look like a boy. I don't know where I learnt that, certainly not from my mother. She was very open minded when it came to gender differences. She actually seemed to prefer my feminine traits. - I love our small girl talks. She used to say that when we read the ads sitting in our sofa. I used to sit leaning against her while pointing in the magazines. Mother was so accepting that I was able to expose my soft sides, at least from time to time. - That green skirt would be wonderful on you, mom. - Do you think so? Maybe I should buy it? - You just have to! It matches your Peter Pan collared blouse. My conversations with mother had taught me a few things about women's clothes. I found colours and styles interesting. Mom was pleased with that. - You are such a nice and skilful kid. You could be a designer. The interesting boxes came with the mailman. There are some benefits from living in rural areas. One of them is the mail being delivered at your door. Mother enjoyed the mail and the mailman. I knew she fancied him, and she used to ask him in for coffee. He was a big guy with broad shoulders and a bass voice. They exchanged some gazes but hadn't started dating. I know he was fascinated by her too. Mother used to go out with a few men, but never started a lasting relationship. After the mailman had emptied his coffee cup, he left. Mother and I used to unpack the boxes together. Mother went on the catwalk between the hallway and living room, and I usually approved to her purchases. And when clothes were for me, I did it her way: Walking back and forth, trying to be elegant. From time to time, I gave small hints that I preferred pink or white instead of the boyish grey, marine or dark green. Mother regularly let me wear an apron and the headscarf when we were in the kitchen. We were equally dressed. The apron was red chequered, a bit frilly and tied in the back with a big bow. She said she enjoyed when we were matching each other. She taught me to wash my hands thoroughly before and after kitchen work. Afterwards we used to rub our hands with hand cream that smelled like flowers. I loved that smell that gave me fantasies of summer and holidays. The mirror was in the hallway, and I often passed it to watch myself in the apron. Mum nodded and said: - We girls care about our appearance. I thought about it: I was a boy, but she called me a girl from time to time. And I never protested. I used to watch her applying makeup. I could sit for hours studying and asking. - What is that called? Why do you use mascara?" I used to tell her that she was beautiful when she wore her makeup. She told me that almost all big girls use to wear makeup. It was a part of life. She even let me try the mascara, and I went directly to the hallway to watch the result. - Makeup is difficult in the beginning. You should let mother help you with that. I blinked my eyes and tried to look girly. She told me I was the best boy she ever knew. -You are soft, nice, pretty, lovely and mommie's dearest friend. New clothes At school I had some problems with maths. I tried to concentrate om the subjects every day but did not always succeed. The girls seemed to manage the numbers better than me. One day I thought everything was a chaos. I was afraid of being stupid and could not hold my tears back. The girls in my class tried to comfort me but did not succeed. My basketball and car enthusiast friends did not seem to care. The teacher did not recognise my feelings. I felt so lonely and worthless. My mind was in a chaos. That day started very dark and scary. When I came home with the school bus, mother held me close to her. - My dear. Don't be afraid. You and I will manage together. Nothing can hurt us. I was sobbing at the kitchen table with my mother caressing my hair. - Sweetie, you are the very best. You know that. Don't let this bother you. Let's do something together. My face rested on her shoulder, and I am sure she could feel my tears against her skin. - Do you know something? I was in the village today. I couldn't keep myself from buying something for you. But I am not sure if you like it. I looked at her with a questioning look. My eyes were red and tearful. She held my hand in hers. Her nails were manicured chestnut brown. She watched me with her brown eyes and long eyelashes and smiled. "Little sweetie, how I love you!" She walked out of the kitchen and returned shortly after carrying a paper bag. It had "Ellie" with fancy letters on it. I watched her as she sat down in front of me. "Darling, I can't always find suitable clothes in the boy's department for you. So, I couldn't resist buying this. She took a burgundy pullover out of the bag. It was rib knit pattern and a turtle neck. The garment was softer than everything else that I had. I was a bit puzzled, then happy. "Oh mom, it is so..... fine!" She was pleased by my comments. "It should suit you!" I took off my blue shirt and pulled my new sweater over my head. It was tight to the body and had a wide neck. She gave me compliments and told me I was sweet in it. "It is just your style, sweetie." You just have to keep it! My new sweater was worn in the morning and evening. I even wanted to wear it at night, but then mom protested. "It is so soft. I love it, mom." She found a pair of my ordinary trousers that matched it, and I wore it to the ladies' club too. They seemed to approve my mother's last purchase and gave me compliments about my matching clothes. One of the ladies suggested I got a haircut, but mom replied: Beautiful hair is not to be cut. End of discussion. The basket ball One day a basket ball hit my chest in the PE. It hurt more than expected, and I complained to my mom when getting home. She gave me I hug and asked me to take off my shirts. I felt a little shy and tried first to hide my nipples with my elbows. Then she inspected them carefully. She let her finger circle them while putting a slight pressure. - Ouch! My left nipple was extremely tender. - Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. My little one, it seems your breasts are protruding a little. - It hurts! - I know. Once it was like that for me too. Mom was thinking while holding my hand. - Maybe we should try to protect you from future incidents. - What do you mean? - Girls your age start wearing bras. A padded bra would certainly protect your sore breasts. I was confused. How could she suggest such a feminine garment? After all, I was a boy. My heart started ponding. I guess I blushed. Mom held me against her and hugged me. - I just don't want you to have pain. Then she held my head with both hands and looked me in the eyes. I remember I tried to look away. The conversation ended there. I was not able to handle my mixed emotions. I had always been fascinated by female attire. But this, all of a sudden.... Later the evening I repeated my complaints on my chest pain. Mother had noticed my shyness and made a decision: - I know what. I'll get you a bra. Just to see if it helps you. - Boys don't wear bras. - Boys are different. Some do. Especially the pretty ones like you. Don't be afraid. It's just you and me. Then she measured my torso. - It is clearly an A - A what? - Bra cups come in different sizes. You are the smallest one. That did not wonder me. I had been watching my breasts in the bathroom mirror. I could feel small tender lumps behind both of them. But I had never thought of a bra or something. However, the lumps did not scare me. Someone had told me that such development might happen to boys. The next couple of days the tenderness seemed to disappear. Then our familiar mailman was at the door bringing some small and larger packages. After the usual cup of coffee and flirting, he left. I did not think about it until mom the same evening told me to come and sit right next to her. I pulled my feet up under me and leaned against her, like I so often did. - Here little Sam, I've god something for you. You remember that I wanted to protect you from the chest pain. Here is my suggestion. Then she handed me a little package wrapped in powder blue paper. It had a little bow on it and was obviously a gift. - This is from me to you. Hope you like it. I felt my heart beat again. And my mouth felt dry. At the same time, it was a pleasant and scary feeling, like the ambivalence I used to have when it comes to girly things. I unpacked the gift slowly. Inside was a little lavender box with "Beau undies" on it. I still remember the brand, it seemed so important to me. I opened it slowly as if I feared the content. Mom smiled at me. Maybe she was a bit uneasy about the whole thing too. I lifted the bra out of the box. Mom praised it. - Isn't that a little cutie! It was a plain skin coloured full covering bra with a bow between the cups. Mom held it up for me to see. - It is a little padded to protect your breast from new blows. It is also plain, so it is not too visible on the outside. What do you think? - I stuttered. It's... Ok, I guess. But I can't wear it to school. - You can if you wear a baggy sweatshirt, and when there is no PE. I didn't feel confident in her statements. But I also felt stimulated by her encouragements. We went straight to the bathroom, and mother told med to undress. She helped me to put the bra on, and she adjusted the straps. - It is a little unfamiliar in the beginning. Later I will teach you how to do this all by yourself. Wow! This is a perfect fit. Mail order is always a bit exciting. You never know if you get the right size. In front of me in the mirror was a little boy, or let's say former boy, named Sam. He was wearing a bra like his female classmates. The bra covered his tiny breasts. He let his fingers slide over his new bra. Mom was excited. - Do you like it? It suits you! Can you see that? Mother stood close behind and held her arms around me. She gave me a hug while we both were looking into the mirror. I was quiet but gave her a little smile. - It feels so strange. When am I supposed to wear it? - As often as you like. She pulled one of my college shirts down over my upper body and asked me to turn around. - See. It doesn't show. She was right. It didn't. - Now, let's try your knitted burgundy pullover instead. That was really something else. The pullover hugged my body and created a lot more feminine look. I now had small, but obvious breasts. Mother giggled. - Congratulations! You've got curves! See how you can change your expression by changing your pullovers. I think I smiled. At least I felt pleased and taken care of. I told mother I wanted to whisper something in her ear. - Thanks, mom! The I licked her earlobe and breathed softly into her ear. She used to love that little sign of gratitude and affection and kissed my forehead. - Oh, how I love you, Sam. You are my precious diamond. Visiting grandma Grandma lived 20 minutes' drive from us. We used to visit her regularly. She was a very vital 60 years old widow with a busy schedule. Grandma was active in the women's lib and protested in the streets from time to time. But she was also a very caring and lovable woman, always having her grandson in mind. So, I always felt welcome in her home. There were always a lot of questions to answer. How was school and friends, what books did I read and what music did I play? She always served us the most delicious dinners. I loved the cream and jelly deserts. Some days after I got my bra, I sort of got used to wearing it. I also wore it to school behind sweatshirts and baggy pullovers. The fear and awareness that someone might discover it diminished. As we entered grandma\s house, I got the usual warm embraces and hugs. Then suddenly I froze. I am sure she discovered my bra clasp, and maybe felt my padded bra against her chest. But there was no comment on it as if nothing had happened. I slowly started to relax and join the dinner. During the dishwashing I watched TV. I could hear mom and grandma talk silently in the kitchen, almost whispering. When I entered the room for some more ice cream, they stopped talking. Later that afternoon, we watched photographs from the old days when grandma was a kid. They mentioned several times to what extent I was like her and had the same fascial features. - By the way, Sam. I have got something for you. Actually, I have saved it for a granddaughter. But I never got any. So, I hope you would like it. Grandma held a little box in her hand. She told me that she, when she was in my age, got it from her grandma. - It is valuable and made of gold. I remember how much I loved it as a teenager and wore it in respect and love for my own grandma. If you intend to put it away, I will rather give it to someone else. So, you must promise to wear it. I opened my hand. Grandma put the box in it. I closed my hand, and she put hers on top. - Bless you! I did not know what to say. I slowly opened the jewellery box. Mom made a big sigh. - Aren't you a lucky little fella! Inside was a gold finger ring with a tiny white stone. I watched it silently for a long time. I don't think I said anything. Then I watched grandma and my mother. Mom raised her eyebrows and nodded to me several times quickly. I didn't find any words. - Its... - Beautiful, isn't it. Mom helped me with words, and I nodded. - Yeah it is... I usually did not have difficulties praising mom's feminine attire. But when the pretty things were meant for me, I just got dumb. - Do you think I can wear it, mom? - I suggest you try it on first. The ring fit my left middle finger. I stretched my fingers and watched. Mom kept her enthusiasm. - You should wear it. It is so sweet and suits you perfect. You should be proud and grateful. I gave grandma a big hug, thanked her and told her I was happy. She reminded me: - Remember to wear it every day! Think of me every time you watch it! She laughed of her impossible demands. I was told afterwards that I the rest of the evening could not lose the ring out of sight. And I think grandma was pleased that her gift was so well received. But I also thought about the challenges that might face me if I wore it to school. And I intended to do that. A promise is meant to be kept. When I was ready to sleep, mom sat by my bed to say good night. I just had to ask her: - Do you think grandma discovered my bra? Mom stroked my hair and smiled. - I think so. - Does she think I am a fool? - Why? She adores you! Why do you think she gave you the precious gift? Don't be ashamed of your bra! Wear it with confidence! The next day was a PE-day. So, I skipped the bra, but wore my new ring. Mother brushed my longish hair in the morning like she usually did. - You have such wonderful hair. We should style it a little. Now it just hangs straight down without any shape or hairstyle. I didn't really know what she meant. That day I was continually paying attention to my ring. At school I felt like everyone wanted to watch it and maybe make fool of me. I was scared. All the voices seemed so loud. I kept my left hand in the pocket most of the time. But during the day I started to forget and exposed my hand more and more often. And nothing happened until a week had passed. Then a girl in my class just said it was a nice ring. I told her I got it from my grandma, and she said I was lucky. Hairdo Mom kept on complaining on my lack of hairdo. Then she suggested we go to the hair dresser. - Normal barber shops don't know how to do long hair. We should go to the place where they style my hair. I shrugged my shoulders and had no great opinions on the matter. On the day of our appointment, mother asked if she could "do my face a little." I asked her what could happen if someone saw me. - You are just going to the hair dresser. No one will notice. See what I bought for you! A new hoodie! The pullover was pale pink with the print "Dallas Cowboys" on it. It was not very feminine, but certainly not meant for boys. I wore my bra underneath, and mother boasted of my appearance. Then she applied a little mascara to my eyelashes and a very pale pink lipstick to my lips, hardly noticeable. - You're hot! Ready for the hair dresser! I was unprepared for what I was about to experience. The first thing I noticed were the strange smells. This was unfamiliar territory. I saw several women sitting under their hair dryers reading magazines. And there was not a single man in sight. I could hear female voices. Some were laughing, some were talking. Again, I perceived the voices as loud. But I am sure they were not. At first, no one seemed to notice the newly arrived mother and her slightly effeminate son with a beating heart. Then one of the hairstylists greeted us. She was a middle age dark haired woman with a made-up face. Mother pushed me slightly toward her and said: - This son of mine has lovely hair. We need some help to style it. - Of course. Welcome to us! What is your name? - Sam - My name is Louise. I love your hair, Sam. Your mother is right. Many of my customers would be envious. She let me sit down, grabbed my hair in her hand and squeezed it. - We have possibilities here. Have you thought of a style, Sam? She combed my hair straight down. I shook my head. - Got no idea. Ask my mom. In the mirror I saw mother trying to express something to Louise as if she shouldn't speak loudly. - I think he appreciates his long hair and does not want it shorter. Eh... From time to time he admires his girl classmate's styles. I froze again. Mom had broken a secret. - Mom! Louise took simultaneously mother in defence and reduced my fear. - OK. That's just fine. Don't worry. There are many styles that work for both girls and boys. My suggestion is that we create bangs. Your face will be adorable with bangs. And we cut layers on the sides. What do you think of that, Sam? I just agreed without knowing the implication of what she said. Mother said that Louise's suggestion would be fine. - Just don't make his hair a lot shorter. Loise started with washing my hair, then cut it the way she suggested. Then she blew it dry. She used a lot more time than the barber. And voila! I had the most beautiful girl hair style imaginable. Like always, I suffered from panic and pleasure at the same time. - What will the kids at school say? Louise showed me how I could comb my hair differently, so the feminine touch was reduced. That calmed me down a little bit. - Have you ever thought of piercing your ears? It looks wonderful if you want the more girly appearance. This came too sudden. Again, I found no words. Mother took my hand. - What do you think, Sam? - I can't. Please don't do it. Mother told Louise that her suggestion was good but came too sudden for mother and son. Louise gave us her card and told us to take contact any time. Then we thanked, paid and left. On the outside of the shop I was absolutely sure that the whole city was studying my hair. I thought some of them were laughing at me. No question about it. Everyone who was laughing, was laughing at me. I just could not imagine that anyone would mind their own things. It was all about me now. But my assumptions were again incorrect. Life had to go on. The next day mother and I had a chat at the kitchen table. She asked what I thought about my new hairstyle. I put my hand in my hair and pulled it with my fingers. - Its kinda neat - You know something, I think Louise did an excellent job. - I was surprised of .... the result. - I don't think you realise how pretty you are - Thanks mom In my heart I always had a desire to be pretty. And whenever mother confirmed that, I felt pleased. At the same time, I felt confused, because boys usually had other desires. I went to the hallway mirror and started shaping my hair in different ways. Mom put a hair brush in my hand and gave me a little help. - You're a sweetie, my little princess. - I certainly don't look like a prince. Mother put a hair pin into my hair, and I giggled a little. Then I tried to move in a girly way. Mother called me a beauty. Then we sat down and continued our breakfast. - Sam, you have had your bra for three weeks now. And you wear it almost every day. I have already washed it twice. What do you think about it? - I haven' had chest pain since I got it. - Bras need to be comfortable. How is yours? - Well, I get used to it. Mom took my hand and stared right into my eyes. - My darling. Try to express what you feel. You are wearing a girl's garment. What does it do to you? - I... feel...embraced.. by it. - Hm. Do you like that feeling? - I think so. - What do you think of the colour and shape? - I dunno. Some of the girls in my class have bigger boobs. Mom kept on holding my hand. - Would you like to have bigger breasts? - Maybe... - OK... You are now wearing A-cups. Not many girls of your age have B-cups. You don't have enough breast tissue to fill them. So, we need inserts too. And no pullover will be able to hide your new breasts. Are you ready for that? I felt a desire to have real full breasts, but had difficulties expressing it to my mom. It was just too embarrassing, and I felt like a lunatic. Something had to be awfully wrong with me. Why was I so unlike other boys? - Forget it mom. - I'll write it in my inner notebook. Anyway, you need some new A-cup bras. They come in all different shapes, styles and textures. Have you seen some that you like? - No. Just forget it. I was too ashamed to express my desires that morning. Mom seemed to recognize that, gave me a kiss and sent med off to school with a pat on my bottom. Preparing for the astrology convention Mother was crazy about the astrology. All kinds of mysterious things seem to interest her. She was a member of a local star- and planet organisation but had no interest in the scientific part. Everything was about future and det Great circle of Zodiac. I wasn't very interested in mom's stuff but tried to listen patiently when she was preaching. She wanted to take me to the great astrology and spiritism convention. It was rather far from home, so we needed to stay two nights at a hotel. My enthusiasm was limited, but I didn't have a choice. Mom was looking forward to this. Her singing in the kitchen indicated a good mood and great expectations. - Aren't we going to have fun, little fella? - Hope so. - We need to prepare. What are you going to wear, for instance? - My usual clothes, I guess. Again, she held me against her. - Uh uh. No usual clothes. You need something new for the great event. She had been talking about the convent a long time, and I felt she had plans that included me. And I was right. It was time for a new box opening evening. And I loved these happenings. I felt so close to my mother often without knowing how to tell her. The boxes were this time not wrapped in gift paper, but she gave me a scissor and asked me to open them. The first contained a jacket that was quilted all over with small blue stars. The base colour was a slightly grey and purple. It had a high collar and was meant for cold winter days like now. - Astrology jacket! Try it on! I put my hands into the arms. - Wow! Its perfect. Do you like it? I nodded and thanked her. The next were narrow grey jeans of stretch quality. Mom had to teach me how to put them on. I made a twirl wearing the jeans and the jacket. All cheered by mom. I also got a pair of mid-calf black boots with low heels. I looked like a teenage girl from next door. Mom clapped her hands. - Now ready for the intimates. The first little box was from Nordstrom and contained a black bra with matching panties. It was a lot different from the first. This had lace all over the cups and a lace edge. The black panties also had lace edges. My heart was beating, and I felt all my blood went to my cheeks. Mom made a rough voice: - Isn't that something! She touched my leg and looked at me. - Oooo. That must be your styyyyyle. Am I riiight? I nodded carefully, proud, happy and embarrassed at the same time. I held the bra up to her and managed to say low: - It's a beauty! Mom clapped her hands of overjoy. Her present was ha hit. But most of all her boy managed to express his feelings. That made her so happy. - I was so excited about this thing, and now I am so glad that you liked it. I turned out there were two other sets of bras and panties. One of them was an off-white set with small red butterflies on. The other was a grey and blue striped style without laces. - These are all for school and should not show too much behind your sweaters. - If you don't want them to. I was dumb folded again. When you don't know how to say thank you, then just lick someone's earlobe. It worked this time too. - What are you thinking, my dear? - I... just want to try on all this stuff. - Take a shower first. Then put on your new things and let me dry your hair. OK? I went off for the bathroom. After showering, I put on the black lacy bra and panties. This was the first time I wore panties. It felt strange, but I loved it. Then I pulled on my new stretch jeans and the knitted burgundy top I got some weeks ago. My mom praised me and made me sit at the vanity. - Are we thinking girly today? I nodded, and then she blew dry my hair in the same style that Louise taught us. I saw myself turning into a girl. Mom had some moisture cream in my face. Then she put on a little mascara and some blush. The lipstick was pink. I turned my head from side to side. Mother asked: - Do you see a boy or a girl? - A girl - See! There is a girl within you. Let her out! Then I left the vanity and watched myself in the tall hall room mirror. Then I started to show girly mannerisms. I held my wrists against my hips and stretched my fingers. Then I turned from side to side. Mom came from behind. - My pretty angel. I feel so happy for you. Please be yourself. On the way to the astrology congress, I wore my new things. Inside the car I felt secure and hidden. On the outside, it was a different story. Suddenly mom stopped at a mall. - Dear, you need some more girly tops. Let's see if we can find some new ones for you. - Are you sure, mom? - Of course! It will be fun! I had no experience shopping girl's clothes for myself or anyone else. And I felt like a stranger again. Inside the store the background beat music sounded awfully loud. I heard ringing in my ears. My mouth was dry, and my heart ponded. I started looking for the exit. Mom, on the other hand, was excited. She preferred quality and not the cheapest shops. That meant that we were offered help from a young saleslady. - What can I do for you? - My little one here needs some new tops. - That would be no problem. We have got lots of them. The saleslady asked if I knew my size. I looked at the floor and shook my head. Mom mentioned a probable size which I can't remember. - Let's have a look over here! The clerk went through the clothes hangers with her fingers. Then she suddenly pulled out a sweet red blouse. - This is my favourite. It's a Dolce & Gabbana band collar blouse in synthetic material. Very pretty. Mom agreed but found the prize a bit stiff. Then we looked through a lot of tops in different colour, length and shapes. Finally, we had a pile of four to take to the fitting room. I was sweating. The clerk must have noticed my nervousness. Inside the booth mother whispered in my ear. - Something wrong, dear? - I can't breathe! - Try to relax, sweetie. No one notices you. You are a girl among the others here. I promise. Remember what you saw in the mirror back home before we left? I know how much these new clothes mean to you. Try to enjoy yourself. Shel held both my hands in hers. - Now, let's calm down and breathe softly. You are the pretty customer. The sales woman is here for you. Without customers, no money for the shop. OK? I nodded bravely. Then I tried on the different blouses and sweaters. That was great, and I started feeling secure inside the fitting room. Underneath I was wearing my grey stretch jeans that seemed to match all the tops. Many of the tops revealed my new black bra, but the laces were not visible. I just knew I had them. Mom pushed me out of the fitting room to watch myself in the large mirrors on the outside. I little girl and her mom passed but didn't watch me very long. The rest of our shopping that day I felt more secure and started to enjoy. We were to several shops trying on different tops. I managed to tell mom what I liked and disliked. I used words like "sweet" and "pretty." After a while we were like two sisters shopping for clothes. In the shoe department mom wanted me to have some boots with heels. She told me I would need them later. So, we tried on several. Mother went for the elaborate lace up high-top ankle boots. They had a narrow three inches heel. I tried them on. The clicking sound was a new, but exciting experience. I really felt girly and enjoyed it. Mom loved them: - Wow! Look in the mirror and see what they do to your posture! I put my other boots on. Mom payed for the new ones, put them in the bag and we went off to a restaurant before driving. All my new clothes were in the car trunk. And I was thinking of them all the time. Clairborne city had prepared itself a long time. The annually convention was all about paranormal phenomena from witchery to therapy. I thought mom was a little bit crazy about the whole thing. On the way to the city there were posters and signs everywhere reminding us about all the spooky things ahead. We saw stars, fires, comets, castles and witches along with commercials about the best alternative therapist around. Mom wanted us to carry all our bags into the hotel room. There were rather many of them, not only the ones we bought that day. In the hotel room, mom showed me the program for the convent. The first part of the day would be an exhibition with stands. In the evening there was going to be a "witch reunion" with dinner, theatre, competitions and other entertainment. The program said: "Tickets for witches and wizards are 40% off." Mom thought this offer was irresistible. - We'll dress as witches! - How do we do that? Witches are women, aren't they? - No problem. We are women. She was right and wrong at the same time. I didn't want to cheat to get det 40% discount. And I didn't have the witch costume. Mom looked at me and blinked an eye. - Didn't you think I already thought of that? Mom taught me how to remove my mascara and lipstick with pads and baby oil. I felt a little uneasy about the witch thing before I fell asleep. What is in my future? Mom dressed me up the next morning. She handed me one of my new tops, a blue long sleeved blouse with puffed shoulders, ruffles across the bust and a lace under the bust. - What do you think dear? - It's sweet, but I can't wear it to school. - How lucky we're not at school. Try to be brave and feel comfortable in your new sweet blouse. She brushed my hair in the feminine style and let me apply the mascara. - Oops careful! I think we need to do it over again. My pink lipstick was a bit easier. I learnt how to pursue my lips and later press them against the paper towel. - That a girl. You look prettier that I did at the same age. Do you enjoy this? I nodded but admitted being a bit scared. I was dressed in my new star quilted jacket and stretch jeans and low boots. Before leaving our room, mother sprayed a little perfume on me. That was something new and gave me a delightful feminine boost. The venue was a noisy huge indoor sport arena. There were stands everywhere and lots of people walking from stand to stand. Around each corner people were talking and discussing. A music group claimed to play astrological harmonies. In some stands they showed video clips. And there were many cubicles that were offering horoscopes, divinations or supernatural therapies for every possible illness. We went arm in arm, also a new experience for me - at least at this age. But I felt taken care of in this wilderness of curiosities. Several places sold astrological jewellery. Mom bought me a Taurus golden necklace. Being in my girl mode I managed to try it on without too much embarrassment. I also got a large golden constellation ring. I chose to wear on my right hand, not to disturb my precious grandma ring on the left. Mom took me into a little room with a strange lady with purple hair. Shet had an overdone makeup. She was wearing a long dress. The woman seemed to have met mom before, and they greeted each other. In spite of my feminine appearance, mom presented me as her son Sam. That was scary since I was supposed to pass as a girl. But the woman was very friendly and accepting. - Please sit down, Sam. I am so delighted to meet the son of this wonderful woman. Are you doing well? She held my right hand and looked into my palm. Then she did the same with my left. She asked for my birthday. - Aaah. A Taurus. Taurus is a female constellation. Did you know that? She blinked an eye. And I gazed at my nodding mother. - May I make your horoscope? How could I deny her? She talked about birth chart, moon, sun, planets and stars. - Hmmm. Ok. Right! Are you ready? I felt a little uneasy, with simultaneous expectations and doubt. - You are a really lucky person. Your future smiles at you. That sounded good. But then she frowned and pulled her breath: - You should listen to your heart. Do the things you desire. It seems you will have to make a very important decision. Again, follow your heart when you decide. You will have to ignore those who don't agree. Some may be nasty. Seek shelter among the ones that understand you. At the end it will turn out well. Several signs are pointing at a happy future. Mom looked at me with a serious expression. - Something to think of there, Sam. I'll be at your side, and you will never be alone. We paid for the divination and went on with all the baffling things in the great hall. I asked my mother the unnecessary question if she believed in horoscopes. - More than ever, darling. We will keep together. The witch contest Back at the hotel we had a dinner in the restaurant. Mom wanted to prepare ourselves for the evening witch party. I really had no idea of what to wear and what was going to happen. But mom seemed very informed and decisive. - Luckily, we have four hours. Let's start with doing our nails. I hate the blue colour, so we choose a colour similar to blood. Now it is very important that you hold your hands still. She went over my nails with at nail file. We sat opposite to each other at the little white table. Mother had covered it with paper not to make a mess. I was told to stretch my fingers. Then she used her many years of experience to apply the deep red polish to my nails, slowly nail after nail. I sensed the familiar scent of nail polish. Then she polished her own with the same colour. - If you start moving your hands until I tell you, you might ruin everything. We might have to do it all over, and we don't want our new clothes to have red spots on them. Now, my friend. We are both going to dress up at witches. But I only like pretty witches. So, we will be more pretty than scary. We looked at each other. I smiled with anticipation. - How do you feel, darling? - I don't know. I feel nice, I think. There is so much I don't know about today. I feel like wanting to be a girl. I feel like wanting to be pretty. And I am so curious about what is in your bags. - Perfect! Little Sam: You should prepare yourself for your veeery first dress. We will wear similar dresses. I sighed, I guess. The emotion was pleasant. Dress is girly. No boys wear dresses, I thought. The fact that mother would wear the same dress, was comforting. Since she called it my first dress, it might not be the last. - I hope I won't look silly and that anyone will laugh at me. - Stay calm. I have it all planned. You and I are going to be the prettiest witches this evening. We tested that the nail polish had dried properly. Mom handed me another gift, this time wrapped in pink with a tag: "For my wonderful girl." I wanted to tear the paper off immediately. Mom put her hand on mine. - We are girls. We do things neatly. Inside was another....black bra! I felt so girly wearing red fingernails and ready to pick up my fourth bra. I already had a black bra and gazed at mom which replied: - Remember you told me you would like bigger breasts? This is a B-cup, and I bought the necessary inserts to use with it. The black colour will match your spooky dress. Also, this bra was covered in a soft, stretch lace. The straps were also lacy. It looked very feminine. I felt the neat piece of clothing between my fingers and felt an inexplicable joy. I loved being in the girl world. The more feminine, the more exciting. - Wow, mom! This is adorable. I usually wasn't able to be this explicit when it came to my own feminine things. But I had gotten some practice lately. I kissed her cheek. She took my hand and held it against her chest. - Can you feel my heartbeat? Its cause I'm happy. When you are happy, I am happy. She was visibly touched. Then she dried her tears with the paper handkerchief, smiled and said I should put my new bra on, right arm, then left arm. She fastened the clasp and helped me adjust the straps. - How does it feel? - Nice. Not too tight. - You can see that this one has a bigger cup. Mom produced the two inserts and placed them inside the cups for me. - Like this. Ooooh. Sexy giiiiirl! Yeeah! I wasn't familiar with my mother using the word sexy. It was a little step too far. But my attention was drawn to my brand-new breasts resting in my brand-new bra. Then I stretched my arms in all directions and felt the straps pulling my shoulders. Mom had put a pair of black panties for me in the bathroom. I went out there and put them on. Mom asked me to come out. She needed to help me with the next piece of clothing. - These are also new to you. If you don't want to ruin them, you need to follow a strict procedure. She rolled down my new black pantyhose and carefully put my toes into them. And in the right sequence, she pulled up the pantyhose until it almost met my bra. Mom commented: - Isn't that a strange feeling? - Yeah. Warm and cold at the same time. Like so many times lately, I felt my heart beat. Fast. I guess I was red as a tomato. But in a pleasant way. This tingling sensation was incredible. - Now for the slip. Your new dress needs a slip to sit properly on your body. Slips also prevents your dress from sticking to your skin. She asked me to raise my hands. Then she gently pulled the slip over my head and bra and let it fall until it reached my knees. I felt the cold nylon fabric that caressed my thighs. I faced the mirror, and mom commented how it gave me feminine curves. The slip had a petticoated lower part which gave an illusion of female hips. - Are you speechless, little friend? I think you enjoy your new outfit. Isn't this fun? - Got no words, mom. I really don't. The black dress was a cotton maxi-type and went all to my ankles. I stepped into it. Mom pulled it up from the floor and helped me put my hands into the puffed sleeves. She also helped me with the zipper in the back. The front of the dress was buttoned in two rows all up from the waistline to the black laced collar. The waist was narrow, and the skirt spread out from the waistline. - How could you guess that your first dress would be of a 19th century style? You are really sweet in it. Can you see how your bra and inserts fill the bust? I had real boobs that weren't so small anymore. And I really liked my new curves. It was like my new appearance was my real me. I managed to close the clasp of my Taurus necklace all by myself. Mom did my hair and my makeup which was a lot more explicit than before. I had to hold my head in a fixed position while she applied the difficult liquid eyeliner. - Don't move! Don't move! The eyeliner, the blue eyeshadow and the red blush gave a dramatic effect. She painted upward pointing angles on our eyebrows to create the spooky appearance. Then she shouted "AHAAA" to imitate a witch. I thought she was silly and didn't join the acting. I put on my new high heeled boots, and suddenly I had to learn to walk again. I practiced walking back and forth while listening to the titillating clicking sound. Mom decided I needed a crash course in feminine posture and manners. - Push your bosom before you while walking. Loosen up. Imagine you're made of jelly. Keep your elbows to your body. Walk with small steps. Put your foot in front of the other while walking. Stand with your feet close to each other. When standing, you can put your weight on one leg. Spread your skirt with both hands to the sides when you sit down, and always sit down slowly. Sit with your knees together and make an S-formed body curve. Sit with your hands in your lap, tilt your head and show your boobs. A whole lotta things to learn in one hour. The quick finishing school was ended. Mom found our Harry Potter-like hats and sprayed us with perfume. I made my first scary steps in a dress outside our hotel. While waiting for our taxi I could feel the cool breeze move my petticoat. I loved this breeze and the nice scent of perfume that made me feel so dainty. And I was scared to death. The great party was in same hall as the exhibition. And there were still some stands along the walls. The light was reduced, and that felt good. There were moving and flashing floodlight beams with blue and purple colour. And there was a band performing rather loud spooky grim fantasy music with choir simulation and stuff. It was chilling. But it reduced a little of my fear of being revealed as a female impersonator cheating for a discount. Mom found out I needed a purse. And she bought me a very simple grey shoulder bag with black bats on. It was obviously sewn by some of the locals. And it suited my dress. We found ourselves a round table with 6-7 other guests we didn't know. There was a funny talkative guy with an equally funny hat. And two women wore long goth style dresses. There was also a boy of my age. He had a wizard hat and a long robe. His presence was a bit alarming, and he sat right next to me. Would he disclose my real gender and make fun of me? Mother held my hand, and we watched the entertainment. She encouraged me to present myself to my gallant and informed me she had signed us in as Claire and Sammy Peterson. I shook the boy's hand and told him my name was Sammy. He presented himself as Matthew. All the others wanted to say hello to me too. So, I stood up on my stilt like boots, held my left hand against my chest, tilted my head and smiled to them. - You're good. You know that? Mom was fascinated about my achievements and whispered her appreciation into my ear. Then she squeezed my hand hard, nodded and smiled to me. There was a costume competition, and we all got name tags. Referees were supposed to do their judgments during the evening, and some of them turned up at our table later on. We were served "bat stew with frog spit and ashes from corpses." But it tasted like chicken. Then there was dancing. My mom loves dancing, took my hand and lead me to the dance floor. I manged to get up there without falling, one small step at the time. But it seemed like a giant leap to dance as a girl. I didn't even know how to do it as a boy. In the beginning it was easy to move freely to the spooky music. I just tried to be like jelly. The darkness calmed my nerves. Then it was "line dance to hell" which was a lot more difficult for most of us. I felt like a fish out of water. I chose to laugh holding my hands up to my mouth. Nobody seemed to notice, probably because they had their own problems. Horror! My friend Matthew wanted to dance with me. I felt like saying no, but I smiled and said yes. Then I told him I was a bad dancer. But he was a gentle guy with dancing skills. So, he led me in the dance, bowed and thanked me afterwards. I managed to make an improvised curtsy like I had seen other girls do. At the table Matthew could not take his eyes off me. I got the feeling that my cover was blown. Mom wanted to go the bathroom. And I joined her like girls do. Automatically I staggered toward the men's room. But mom gently guided me to the right place. We made a touch up of our lipstick. Mom took my hand - I think Matthew fancies you. Be nice to him. - What? - I'm serious. Watch his eyes. He's got no clue about your background. Just enjoy being admired. You deserve it. Smile a lot like girls do. You're hot, girl. My self-conscience was reinforced. I thought I'd play the game. I asked Matthew about his background and tried to hide mine. He thought my costume was nice, and I complimented his. We managed to small talk. Gosh! He asked for my number. I had to lie that I didn't have a cellular. Then he asked for moms. But I was saved by the bell. The result of the costume competition was to be announced. There were prizes for the best wizard outfit and the best witch costume. And a little kid got his own prize. Then there was a prize for the best mother and daughter outfit. And guess what: - The winners are Claire and Sammy Peterson! This was just a shock. Not one minute had I imagined such an outcome. I had been sneaking around there trying not to draw too much attention. Now I was on my way up to the stage arm in arm with my mother. Step by step. One foot in front of the other, balancing on high heels. The clicking sound was drowned by the applause from the audience. On stage I tried to remember mom's guidance: I put my weight on one leg, presented my bosom, kept my elbows close to the body, tilted my head a little bit and smiled. Mom got her flowers and the diploma first. There was a lot of clapping and flashing from cameras. Then it was my turn. The applause increased and would not stop. I made a curtsey again. People whistled and shouted. This was unbelievable. It just could not be true. And I started to love the moment. Mom held my hand, looked at me and embraced me, right there on stage with everybody watching Back at the hotel I was so overjoyed and grateful. Mother asked. - Do you believe med now? You are a lot more convincing and attractive girl than you have been thinking. And the happiest person this evening is me.