Last Chance Chapter 4
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Guitar free porn video
GUITAR
It is early 2019 in Wisconsin; actually southeastern Wisconsin in the
Milwaukee-Chicago mega-city belt. She is a mega-city citizen, knows the
metra (trains, buses, el) and Milwaukee / Racine / Kenosha buses and the
Hop in Milwaukee (downtown). Partly raised in old Western Milwaukee
suburb by 128th street where Wauwatosa meets Brookfield, Milwaukee
county meets Waukesha county. Partly raised in Kenosha.
She is able to look forward again; looking forward she is studying music
with her first instrument, Guitar. Originally, taking lessons at age
seven and at W Music where a prominent music artist taught. Although,
she tells who it is, some still find it hard. They have trouble
understanding how a prominent artist who invented various guitars would
actually teach lessons at a music store on 128th st in a Milwaukee
suburb. A hint, he taught the Bo Deans as he taught her when she was
seven to nine years old. Haven't figured it out yet, her teacher was Les
Paul.
Reading the story so far, do you wonder why music is mentioned? Why Les
Paul is mentioned? The meaning of the title? It is to become clear in
stages and is important in her personal happiness now and helping her
through the tests.
Now, she can smile again; meet people without having to worry if she
stepped into the fifteenth century in terms of human knowledge.
Remember, what we are shocked about today in regard to what is happening
in Syria, Iraq, and elsewhere with Al Queda and ISIS, is shocking
because it is not new. Like in the movie "After Midnight," the
psychology of fear is believed in something someone feels will happen
rather than something fantastic.
In fifteenth century Europe, based on the state of human knowledge, it
was the continuation of the renaissance and many cities that are vary
progressive today as they were then. Except, in progressive cities if
one was different there were great consequences as what Al Queda,
Taliban, and ISIS are seen as doing in their occupations along with
supernumerary customs and clothes and practices forced upon the people
in their occupations. Although, lgbtq is as old as civilization, even in
the world of the fifteenth century in Europe, it was still punishable by
death or torture like what is practiced in brutal occupations of the
Middle East of hostile groups.
To she, she is glad to be living in an area that is 21st century and
those in positions of decisions making do not include those that have
fifteenth century human knowledge. It may sound absurd that in the 21st
century to say some decision makers or people in positions of power have
fifteenth century thinking, yes, it is true. Although, those with
fifteenth century thinking are very good at working on the individual
where it becomes their word against the others word.
It has been 2 years since she has been through a big tests and of offers
to convert back by those administrators and case workers who have
fifteenth century thinking. It was like someone being attempted to
repent and the public being told it was done freely and without abuse or
hurt. Also, it is like "let's make a deal," three curtains are
available, but, the game is rigged. It is a manner of finding curtain
number 4 and exiting the situation.
Her returning to happiness started with a friend. One night after the
biggest game that almost forced her to become six feet under; her friend
called, she and the Danish community of the area offered a place to stay
until she could find her place. It is true gift because it allowed to do
a few things she needed to.
Like many who feel they are in bad situation, the first thing is to
change your location and the second is to stop. For her, by changing her
location, the tests and the tricks to convert back were gone because she
was with friends who provided a force field allowing her to get her mind
and body spirit back. The second thing is that she stopped certain
activities like trying to travel too much; trying to make friends to
make friends eventhough the people she met really wanted to use her; she
started to get to a life with a friend of listening to music on the
radio, going out to lunch, some shopping, and namely the ability to put
the overload of false messages and false friends out of her life.
Within a few months, she was able to get her place again. This time, she
realized that the same thing her friend realized sooner; they both love
and care for each other. Yet, like Freida Kahlo and her husband need to
live in separate residences as both need their privacy due to aspects of
abuse they have experienced from others in their life. The place she had
is a place where it was only for single people.
To her, this is wonderful because she needs her privacy and can visit
her close friend and does on a regular basis during the week. To her
close friend, she prefers the practice too as she wishes to have her
privacy and yet personal sharing from time to time. The biggest thing is
that she is able to start unlearning and putting to history the games,
tricks, and stunts.
Some of the games, tricks, and stunts where done by people who are
listed as case workers and in one to one setting. Like cases of #metoo,
it is one to one because the hidden abusers know about how to gaslight
and manipulate in the shadows. She does not wish to discuss all the
games, but, she will discuss one.
It is June, she is in a shelter which is a religious shelter and uses a
synonym for the word "Peace." Although, it is not peaceful, the harsh
six AM wake-up and rushing where she needs to go to McD's for 2 hours to
calm down or have massive cramps due to stress of the harsh wake-ups.
The hardest game place is a psychological emotional game, she finds one
person who seems nice and they start to become friends. During the day,
they enjoy the summer in the city; have lunch, return to the shelter and
talk. The person she has met as a new friend helps her to take her mind
of the interior of the shelter as a diversion like when Tolkien sent his
son excerpts from "Lord of the Rings" during world war II as a way to
have a moment to think of something other than the combat zone his son
was in.
For her, the friend at the shelter was very much like the same thing. It
did help her take mind of the harshness of a religious shelter where
indirect forced conversion was attempted. To others who were lesbian, bi
it was a test. Part of the indirect conversion is the divide and conquer
saying that gay is ok because it is has been around a long time, but,
bi, lesbian, and transgender have only been around for 10 years. The
tactic was done by those who claimed they had a college education, case
workers and shelter workers and even one who was a city of Chicago
teacher who lived in Wisconsin.
At one point, her friend had enough of the shelters and left suddenly,
she asked her to join her and just trust anyplace is better. She was not
feeling well emotionally due to the games of shelter and yet knew what
it meant if she leave prematurely. So, she stayed. The friend left.
For two days, at nights in the shelter, she cried with a blanket over
her head so that the bullies would not torment her farther. Also,
hearing the comments "Where's ....," the name of the friend who left. At
one point, she decided she would rather face the outside the harsh
inside of the shelter. For a few nights, it meant living in the streets,
finding places to stay late at night, nap here and there. The effect is
massive sleep deprivation and emotional fatigue which one heavy rainy
night almost made her think of being six feet under.
What saved her from the decision to be six feet under is a true
spirituality and the ability to get a long nap at a local area of
knowledge. After the nap, her friend called, she packed a medium bag
that you would carry for a workout and her laptop, caught the intercity
bus and was there at her friends.
Her friend realized what she had been through; her friend started
something as part of the Danish way, rest you are welcome here. It was
the first few days of rest to get over massive sleep deprevation and
emotional exhaustion.
Present time, like her parents taught her of her family's philosophy,
she has moved on and forward. What this means, she still visits friends
in the city she is from and still participates in making both
communities better. However, she also realizes that the games, tricks,
and hidden abuse that pushed her to have thoughts of suicide showed that
she is not made of iron, she is human. However, the high suicide rate of
bi and transgender people in areas is due to these games, even in the
Milwaukee-Chicago corridor.
The main reason is that resources to help are scattered. For example, in
Milwaukee, Racine, and in Boystown in Chicago there are lgbtq centers to
help. However, the Milwaukee and Racine lgbtq center are able to
coordinate to help with ending gender discrimination in rental. Also, in
terms of domestic abuse, in the Milwaukee-Chicago corridor, the only
shelters available are actually in Racine and Kenosha only for a
population of 8 million people.
So, to her, Shania Twain's "Black Eyes and Blue Tears" means inspiration
and hope; it is helped her though the tough times and helped to move on
and forward to start enjoying good times again.
Present time, she is recording impromptu sounds that she playing on her
guitar. It is interesting that is had been a long time since she has
played, she can still read tabulature (the Nashville guitar notation),
read staff sheet music, and can still tune a guitar. In this session,
she record five impromtu songs and posted three to soundcloud.com.
It is interesting how fast many like what she posts. Also, based on the
new life that is happy, she has a new facebook page. Many on her
facebook are musicians, one facebook is a rocker who is her age and has
an MBA like she has; learned guitar the same way as she, lessons and
playing songs of artists they like, and loving the fashions of rockers
of the 70's and early 80's.
Remembering her parents of which she would watch "Lawrence Welk" on PBS,
it is good to keep a song in her again.
[ Footnote
She is able to keep a song in her heart. However, she still is not able
to sleep normal times that most people sleep, for her her day if one
were to consider it is either second shift or third shift or European
hours from the Midwest or Western hours from the Midwest. Like some who
have experienced domestic abuse, she has decided to move on and forward
meaning that trying to find an attorney to help with pain and suffering
would mean she would be forced to relive her abuse again the same way
early domestic abuse victims had to go through the "slut defense"
tactics used in the US, India, and other countries. She doesn't want the
trigger and door opened again.
During the first gulf war she was a NGO for Navy Medical and Air Force.
Part of her life now, she wears her Air Force tactical watch as an
inspiration of the Air Force group that supported her during the DADT
(don't ask, don't tell years of the 90's). Also, she likes comet tv as
she can watch "Andrometa" and "SG-1" both of which she first watched
with her father. Also, both TV series were part of the treatment to
begin to live again with PTSD as well treatment while in graduate school
based on an alternative psychological approach.
Thinking of sisters (MTF) and brothers (FTM) who still faces challenges.
The thing for each of us that lives and lives another day, it is towards
a better world as others see in the community, a community is of all and
that lgbtq is older than civilization itself. ]
Bree
- 05.01.2022
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