LIFE OUT OF JOINT by Crazy Baron
Chapter 4/7 -- The Morning After
Synopsis:
Although the Halloween party is over, Mike and the others have to deal
with the fallout and being stuck in their costumes, at least for the
time being. However bizarre their situation, is that all there is to
it, or does the rabbit hole go deeper still?
*****
I opened my eyes and realized that the room was already full of
sunlight. I had slept in again; it was becoming a habit.
I completely ignored the sensations that waking up in a female body
brought to me, those very same sensations that had both scared and
annoyed me before. I knew they would be there, regardless of what I
thought of them, so I had decided not to think about them at all. For
the first time, my strategy actually seemed to be working. It was not
worth spending energy to wonder whether or not I was getting too
comfortable in this new physical form and whether or not it was
necessary to suppress every single sexual thought that crossed my mind.
Instead, I could focus on more important issues, and right there and
then nothing was more important than Mandy's pending visit. This could
be the final day of my life as a girl, and maybe I'd wake up as a man
the very next morning! Knowing that filled me with excitement, even
though I was simultaneously worried that my hopes might prove
groundless. It was conceivable, however unlikely, that Mandy would be
unable to do anything, and I'd have to live like this from now on. In
any case, I was certain that my destiny would be determined that day.
I got up, padded to the upstairs bathroom, washed up, brushed my teeth
and hair carefully and changed my clothes. As before, Kate or Mom had
left some suitable items of clothing on the railing of the staircase,
and I promptly picked them up and put them on. In a few moments I was
wearing a fresh pair of white panties, a bra, white socks, blue jeans,
a top and a black knitted shirt with long sleeves. Finally I tied my
hair up in a loose ponytail (I preferred it that way) with a scrunchie
borrowed from Kate, put on a pair of sneakers and turned around to go
downstairs. It wasn't until this point that I realized how casually I
had done all that; not even the bra had caused much trouble this time.
There no longer seemed to be anything unusual whatsoever about donning
and wearing women's clothes! However, I simply shrugged it off and
walked down the stairs. Perhaps I was mentally turning into a girl, but
with any luck, I would be a man again by tomorrow. As long as I didn't
develop an urge to keep dressing this way after the restoration of my
original sex, everything would be fine.
The others were awake, judging from the lively chatter and the scent of
fresh coffee, toast and fried eggs coming from the kitchen. Jake and
Kate were both sitting at the table, and Jake was telling her a joke I
had heard numerous times before. He seemed to be wearing the same
outfit he had worn to the party, a light, pale pink fluffy sweater and
dark-colored jeans. He had omitted the necklace, though. As I walked
in, he was just finishing his story.
"...and then the guy looked down and said, 'This Army stuff really
sucks. I bet there's no bicycle in the barn either!'"
"Morning," I said to them both.
"Good morning," Kate replied. "Want some toast and eggs? These are
still warm, compliments of Jake."
"I thought I might help," Jake said modestly.
"And help she really did," Kate told me. "We've been making breakfast
together and having some girl talk. Mornings are rarely this much fun
for me."
"That's nice," I said, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to
Jake. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and tried to see if
Kate's choice of pronoun had caused a reaction in him, but he was at
least seemingly oblivious to being categorized as a woman. "Where's
Mom, by the way?" I continued after receiving a plate full of delicious
food and a badly needed cup of tea.
"Oh, she went to see Grandpa," my sister said casually. "She promised
she wouldn't be long, you know, with the Rankinses stopping by today
and all."
"What? What did you say?"
"Oh, you didn't know? They're passing by and decided to pay us a
visit."
"Shit! Are they planning to stay for the night or something?"
"No; they need to be somewhere else by tomorrow. It'll be just a quick
visit, that's all."
"Shit, anyway. I wasn't looking forward to seeing them right now."
"You never exactly look forward to seeing them, Mike."
"Can't argue with that."
The Rankins couple belonged to the vast ranks of our family relatives.
To be more accurate, Mr. Eric Rankins was my father's second cousin, a
tall, quiet man in his early 60s. He and his wife--a short and
scatterbrained babbler who seemed to be in a constant motion, always
fussing with this and that--had two adult children who had long since
left home, and the retired couple liked to travel around the country in
their motor home. My father and Eric often went hunting together when
they had the chance. The Rankinses were lovable yet slightly tedious
people, especially Mrs. Rankins, whose energy and endless talking
tended to wear everyone out. Since I was mentally near exhaustion after
the previous half a week and still trapped in a female body, I was
anything but excited at the prospect of meeting them.
"Scott's not up yet, am I right?" I asked, changing the subject. I
liked to eat first and worry about the Rankinses later.
"Of course she's not!" Kate chuckled. "Not with that partying. But if
you want to see something really cute, tiptoe to the guest room and
take a look at her. She's sleeping so peacefully and she has this tiny
smile on her lips."
"Sleeping soundly is no wonder after last night," I commented, "but I
bet he won't feel like smiling when he wakes up to a massive hangover.
He'll be groggy for the rest of the day and hungry as a wolf."
"There's plenty of food to go around. Feeding her won't be a problem."
At this point, I could no longer help but ask Kate, "How come you keep
referring to Scott as 'she'? We're still talking about our male cousin,
aren't we?"
"Because Scott is a she right now," came her reply. "So are you and
Jake, by the way. Actually, it's weird enough that I have to call you
guys by your male names when the character names would fit so much
better, never mind saying 'he' and 'him' when I'm talking about one of
you."
"If it's that bad," Jake said, smiling, "I guess you can call me
Willow."
"Yay, that's great!" Kate exclaimed to Jake with playfully exaggerated
enthusiasm. "Now we can really bond as friends! Come on, Mike, why
won't you join the club too? Be Buffy for us, will you?"
"Thanks, but no thanks," I said, trying to concentrate on enjoying my
breakfast as the other two giggled happily and girlishly. "Go braid
each other's hair or something. I'm eating here."
"She's just jealous because she didn't get to gossip about boys with
us," Kate told Jake, and they laughed again.
"Yeah," I said and sipped at my tea. "That's probably it."
"No, seriously," Kate continued, "we really need to go out together,
you know, maybe hit the town and go shopping or whatever we feel like
doing. Then we'll rent a chick flick--I mean a proper one--and watch it
back here. It would be just great!"
"What if we get recognized out there?" Jake wondered.
"You'll need to change your appearances a little, but don't worry. I'll
think of something. Since you two are now girls anyway, why not have a
little fun on the side? I won't let you sit here and sulk all day long,
no sir. We all should enjoy this as long as it lasts. Maybe Mandy...
Oh, speak of the devil!"
"What?" I asked. Following Kate's gaze, I looked out of the kitchen
window and was surprised to see a huge white motor home filling our
driveway. It had appeared out of nowhere; for some curious reason I
hadn't heard it come. The Rankinses were here.
"Dammit!" I cried and stood up so fast that my chair fell over. "Jake,
out of the house! We need to split immediately!"
In a semi-panic, I ran to the foyer with Jake and grabbed my leather
jacket while Jake took his. He was about to walk casually out of the
front door, but I stepped in front of him, physically turned him around
and said, "No! Not that way!" We dashed past Kate and out through the
seldom-used back door which was left open in the wake of our escape. As
I took a quick glance back over my shoulder, I could see my sister
standing in the doorway, laughing at us.
We sprinted across our backyard and into the woods as fast as we could.
There had probably been some rain very late in the night or very early
in the morning because the tall grass outside the lawn was still wet
and there were small puddles of water almost everywhere. Our shoes
didn't stay clean and dry for long, but that was the least of our
concerns at that time.
Once we had managed to get past the first trees, I slowed down to
walking and Jake promptly did the same. Now that we were comparatively
safe once again, there was time for me to look around and take a few
deep breaths. It was actually a beautiful morning--the air was brisk,
but not really cold, and the sun shone brightly, sending some last rays
of warmth to this part of our little planet before the winter would set
in. Tiny droplets of water sparkled like stars on tree branches. It was
quiet all around, for even though the main road was just some two
hundred yards away, there was little traffic at this time of day. It
wasn't very hard to imagine that this was actually a large forest in
some desolate corner of the world, and for that reason this had been
one of our absolute favorite places to play when we were children. No
matter if we pretended to be commandos in a rain forest in Central
America, astronauts exploring a strange new planet, spies on a mission
to Siberia, cowboys and Indians in the old West or cops chasing
dangerous criminals, this was always the perfect stage.
In fact, I had remembered our old treehouse in the vicinity and was now
leading us towards it, curious to see if it was still holding together.
Considering how thin the boards the little shack was made of were to
begin with and how time had presumably ravaged them since, it was far
too risky to climb up there even in our light female bodies, but at
least we could sit on the rocks under the tree and wait for the
Rankinses to leave.
"So," I said to Jake, "you're adjusting."
"Huh?" he asked. "What do you mean? Adjusting to what?"
"To being a girl. You get along so well with Kate."
"Ah well," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "I don't know. I'm just
trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like this is her fault. And
besides, like you said yesterday, things could be a lot worse."
"Yep, they could."
We walked in silence for a couple of seconds, and then I added,
"On the other hand, it might be because you're hitting on my sister."
"What?" Jake exclaimed. "No, no, no. It's not that! I'm just... you
know, being friendly."
"It's alright," I said and let out a small laugh. "I don't mind that,
but there's one little problem."
"Oh yeah? What is it?"
"She doesn't swing that way, Willow."
"Just couldn't resist that, you old bastard."
The small opening where the massive old oak tree still stood as firmly
as ever was a mere minute's walk away, even though the distance had
felt like miles when we were kids. The years had seemingly passed the
tree by, but our old clubhouse had not been equally resilient; as we
approached it, I could see that almost half of the boards--some of
which had admittedly been nearly rotten already at the time of
construction--had fallen off. Why the rest hadn't collapsed was beyond
my comprehension. At any rate, we really had no business trying to go
up there. That much was certain.
I sat on the round back of one of the rocks, and Jake followed suit.
The walk through the woods and our coming here, to this particular
spot, filled my mind with fond and amusing memories of my childhood,
but the sad decline of our once proud fortress served as a concrete
reminder of the fact that those days were gone and would never return.
Jake shifted slightly and pushed a few stray hairs behind his ear, just
like he had done at the party when I had first seen him as Willow. He
was definitely waiting for me to break the silence and open a
discussion, and finally, after coming up with a subject that didn't
seem to contain too much potential to make us sadder, I complied.
"Mind if I ask you a question?"
"Not at all," he said. "Shoot."
"Did you really strip naked in front of Tina and Kathy?"
He let out a chuckle and replied,
"If that's the big mystery that has been bothering you all this time,
then I guess I need to give you an answer. I used a towel."
"Good thinking," I commended with a smile. "A gentleman, as always."
"Oh man," he sighed, "I really wish I had known what I was getting
into. To be sure, it all sounded strange to me, but I didn't suspect
anything like this. How could I? I-I mean, this stuff doesn't just
happen, right?"
"I concur, as a knower of all things physic-y."
This innocent little line took him by surprise. His brow furrowed, but
at the same time a smile began forming on his lips, as if he was
waiting for me to explain my joke and preparing to laugh at it. He
wondered,
"What? 'All things physic-y?' You sound like some ditz!"
"Guess who I heard that one from," I prompted him.
"Well?"
"You."
"No way!" he said and laughed out loud. "Give me some credit! I don't
make up meaningless words from scratch."
"Yesterday you did," I corrected him. "I suppose you haven't noticed it
yourself, but at times you speak like Willow--or that's what it sounds
like to me, anyway. You keep it up for a while and then revert to your
own style. It's curious."
"No, I don't!" he protested. "Look who's talking! As a matter of fact,
I was just about to tell you the same thing. It's really eerie
listening to you and observing how you turn mentally into Buffy. Soon
you'll be running around the town by night with a wooden stake, looking
for vampires to dust."
"Well, then," I sassed back, "at least I know where to find backup.
Cast any good spells lately?"
Fortunately, Jake decided to shrug the entire thing off with another
smile. By now, it was clear to me that he wasn't aware of his own
strange (and, to be honest, downright creepy) speaking style changes.
Of course, chances were I was indeed similarly affected but didn't
realize it any more than Jake realized his own condition. There could
be surprises still in store for us, and not all of them pleasant.
I was just about to ask him to share his thoughts on this subject when
I received an answer of sorts. I turned my head towards him and began
to say, "Surely, this can't---" when I suddenly felt his lips on mine.
I had closed my eyes for a fleeting moment and therefore didn't see
what he was up to. The kiss was brief, lasting hardly more than two
seconds, and he fortunately refrained from pushing his tongue into my
mouth; it merely brushed against my upper lip. I, for my part, was too
overwhelmed to do anything, and the whole thing was over before I could
react.
Jake pulled apart quickly and blushed as he became fully aware of what
he had done. "Oh m-my goodness," he stammered, trying to express an
apology. "I-I shouldn't have... I'm so sorry! I... I won't do that ever
again! I promise!"
"Uh," I began, after having regained some of my previous composure,
"that was a surprise."
"I bet! I... I honestly don't know what came over me! I---"
"Don't worry about that," I said reassuringly. "If you had been in your
male form, then I just might have been a bit disgusted, but this--this
is somewhat more tolerable."
"I hope so," he said, his feminine face still glowing red.
"You know, being kissed by a girl who looks like you do now isn't the
worst thing in the world. I think I'll survive."
This finally managed to draw a short chuckle out of him, even though he
was still clearly very embarrassed by his own actions. He seemed to be
trying to dig a small hole in the ground with the tip of his sneaker,
probably wishing he could turn invisible for a while.
"I have to admit," I continued, "you taste good."
"So do you," he said. "I just wish I could have someone like you as a
girlfriend when we return to normal. You're damn hot."
"Likewise. But since neither of us is, shall we say, predisposed to sex
with men, I think it's out of the question."
"Imagine a couple of real girls wearing these skins and hooking up with
us!" he fantasized with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Now wouldn't that
be something!"
"Too bad it's not very likely," I said, letting out a small laugh.
"Maybe we should put on some male skins. Who knows, then things might
work out."
"Oh no! No way. I've had enough of these damn costumes. It's time
someone else entertained me with them, not the other way around."
"What do you say we move on," I suggested and got up. "This rock's
cold."
"Fine by me," Jake complied.
In a few minutes, we emerged from the woods and realized we were now
standing next to the main road, separated from it by a shallow ditch
and the shared use path that ran alongside the road. Instead of taking
an immediate 180-degree turn and returning to where we were unlikely to
be spotted, we leaped across the ditch (which was hardly a major
obstacle) and continued our aimless wandering along the path. If there
was a rational reason behind this stupid decision, I can't remember it;
we probably just thought that walking on a road would be less tiring
and our clothes would remain cleaner. Then again, it's equally likely
that we were not thinking at all.
I had already learned not to worry about passing cars. Otherwise we
would not have ventured there, as we were very much on display; here
the road was virtually straight for more than a quarter of a mile, with
good visibility all around. Some bright official had decided to put a
30 MPH speed limit here, and it almost goes without saying that the
townsfolk, myself included, broke it habitually. Whenever the local law
enforcement bothered to monitor the area, they almost invariably caught
a number of offenders red-handed. Typically, a few people had their
licenses suspended, and equally typically my uncle was among them.
Up until that point, nobody had even taken a second look at us, even
though I knew several people had to have seen us by then. Our faces had
been in plain view almost all the time, and still there had been
absolutely no reaction from the public. Maybe I had really been
paranoid, I thought to myself. Not everybody could "recognize" us after
all, and some of those that could were simply indifferent about it.
Jake had undoubtedly noticed the same thing, and he said,
"You know, it's lovely to be able to take a little stroll and not have
fans begging for autographs all over you."
"Yeah," I concurred. "Maybe we should inform the Town Council that they
ought to market this place to those folks in Hollywood as a celebrity
safe haven. Nobody bothers anybody around these parts."
"The peace and quiet would be gone before you could blink an eye."
"That's the downside, but at least the decision makers at Town Hall
would finally have the money to renovate the high school buildings,
which resemble our treehouse more and more each year as far as
structural integrity is concerned."
"You think? All we'd see would be new, very expensive cars for the top
officials, and that's it. Screw the school. That's their idea of
spending money well."
"You're probably right, as usual."
"By the way, do you know what I'd like?" he asked, changing the
subject. "A nice cold beer."
"I wouldn't mind one either," I said, chuckling a little, "but we have
the minor problem of being short on cash right now. I didn't bring any
money."
"Neither did I."
"Of course," I mused, "we could always march into Ernie's Bar and see
if we can get someone to buy us something."
"That's pretty risky," Jake commented. "I wouldn't be comfortable doing
it."
"Why not? This is an incredible opportunity to put our brand new
feminine wiles to use. You could just snuggle up to one of the regulars
and coo into his ear something like 'Hey, baby, would you mind buyin'
lil' ole me a drink? I can show you a good time, hon...'"
I couldn't finish my sentence with a straight face, but the suggestion
was still enough for Jake to offer me a sharp comeback:
"Oh? Well, let's see you do it then. You look much more, um, hooey than
I do."
"You're the one who wanted a beer, so you do it. I'll watch."
"I bet. Once again, you are trying to make me do the dirty work for
you."
"Oh, I'm sorry! I completely forgot you don't swing that way, Miss
Rosenberg."
"But luckily you do, Miss Summers. Why not go and pick up a nice boy?
I'm sure you want to do just that, and you'd get the drinks for us as
an added bonus."
Before this friendly squabble could continue, another car came into
view. At first, I didn't really pay mind to it, but then the person
behind the wheel attracted my attention for a moment. Thanks to both my
considerably improved eyesight and the fact that the car was going
rather slowly, giving me ample time to watch it, I noticed that the
driver was a bespectacled young man with short, light brown hair. As
the car approached, I could soon make out his facial features and then
recognized him as Kenny Taylor. I hadn't seen him driving a car before;
in fact, I had rarely seen him outside of his room and had concluded
that he didn't even have a license as getting one would have meant a
temporary separation from his computers. Yet, here he was, driving
around just like a regular adult person, except that he actually seemed
to be observing the speed limit.
I once read somewhere that it is not correct to use the words 'nerd'
and 'geek' interchangeably as they don't mean the exact same thing.
Kenneth W. Taylor certainly didn't justify any such distinction, as he
embodied just about every single clich? and stereotype associated with
both of these groups of people. He was generally a likable person,
open-minded and talkative once someone could get him to come out of his
shell, but he had next to no social life outside whatever virtual world
he was immersed in at a given time. When removed from the vicinity of
his beloved computers, he became an awkward and almost painfully shy
boy who strove to avoid encountering other people face-to-face at all
costs.
It is true that Jake, Charlie and I, perhaps even Scott, were slightly
geeky in our own way, but Kenny had taken it to a whole another level.
He didn't waste too much time on the issues of the mundane real life.
Unlike us, he didn't need alcohol (or weed) to have fun, and the
political discussions I often had with Jake would have been nearly
meaningless to him as he had little emotional or intellectual
investment in such things. He acknowledged that they existed, of
course, but they had only a circumferential presence in his little
world. As long as he had a working net connection, he didn't worry too
much about global climate changes or the situation in Middle East.
Kenny, who was about three years younger than Scott, hadn't originally
been part of our gang. We first met him through a common friend when I
was a high school junior. At the time, Jake, Charlie and I were
developing a computer game of our own and needed some programming
advice. Kenny turned out to be not only a great computer wizard but
also a nice guy who was more than willing to help us out. The game
project was a poorly planned and even more poorly executed mess,
essentially an extended and glorified joke that came to naught in the
end, but Kenny nevertheless had remained something of a borderline
friend-acquaintance ever since. In addition, my parents and his were on
friendly terms.
I had had a minor falling out with him two years ago. We were having a
conversation on science fiction and fantasy as genres of cinema, these
being among our mutual interests, and he had declared his love for
Japanese animated films. At this point, I had made the mistake of
voicing a strongly differing opinion using somewhat colorful language.
Kenny didn't lose his temper--I doubt if that was even possible--but
this difference had caused some minor friction between us then, and we
hadn't seen each other for a while when this adventure was taking
place. Knowing how lonely he was, I wanted to meet him in the near
future, but I had been putting it off for months and felt guilty
because of that.
My first reaction was to wave my hand at him, but I quickly thought the
better of it as I remembered what and who I looked like now. I also
realized it might be a good idea not to give Kenny an unobstructed view
of our faces.
"Hey, turn around!" I ordered Jake, but he simply stared at me and
asked,
"Why? What for?"
By then, Kenny's car had already gone past us and it was much too late
to do anything about it.
"Oh, Mike," Jake continued and let out a laughter, "did you see that
guy in that car? He was ogling us like crazy but probably couldn't see
anything with those glasses! That expression on his face was goddamn
priceless!"
"That was Kenny Taylor," I said, "in case you didn't notice."
"Shit!" Jake cussed, suddenly serious again. He too had grasped that
this encounter might cause problems, but after a short pause and on a
second thought, he was already willing to write the possibility off.
"Ah well, I don't think he could see us well enough. He's practically
blind, anyway."
The next thing we heard was the screeching of the tires of Kenny's car
as he hit the brakes with all his might. He was about to drive squarely
off the road but managed--just barely--to keep the vehicle from plowing
into the ditch. After slowing down to almost a halt, he steadied his
car and went on, going even more slowly than before.
"I beg to differ," I commented on Jake's analysis. "I think he saw us
alright."
"I suppose walking around in public like this wasn't such a great idea
after all."
"So it seems. Let's head back to our place. With any luck, the
Rankinses have left."
"And if they haven't?"
"We'll think of something. If all else fails, we'll hang out at the
treehouse some more and then go back."
"Whatever you say."
Instead of again cutting across the woods, we followed the road back
home. It meant walking a good mile or so, mostly in view of other
people, but it still didn't seem particularly dangerous to us and we
also wanted to take our time. So we made our way to my parents' house
at a leisurely pace, chatting mostly about cars and some other random
topics that had nothing to do with our current situation.
As soon as the house and the driveway came into our full view, I saw to
my great relief that the Rankins' motor home was no longer there. With
Jake on my heels, I made a beeline to the front door and entered
casually. It had been nice to be able to get some fresh air and talk
with Jake, but now I was looking forward to a quiet forenoon of
relaxation and reflection in the safety of my old home.
Walking into the kitchen, I was very surprised to see Scott up and
about. Like Jake, he was wearing the clothes that went with his
costume--which was a necessity since relatively little else was
available as long as we remained in our female forms--but he had
apparently put on light makeup as well. Still more unexpected was his
good physical condition: he was sitting on the counter, swinging his
feet and looking as fresh and cheerful as ever. I had assumed he would
be very nauseous with a massive hangover for the better part of the
day, but there was not even the remotest sign of such a condition
visible in him.
"Buffy! Sis!" Scott exclaimed, jumped down and ran to us. "I'm so glad
to see you!"
He flung his thin arms around me and gave me a tight hug. I barely
returned the embrace as I was slightly taken aback by this gesture.
"And Willow! I love you guys!" he continued, letting me go but moving
onto Jake, who seemed even more uncomfortable. "Where were you?"
"Out," Jake said.
"And you didn't take me with you!" he moaned after finally releasing my
friend. "You always leave me home!"
"Scott, calm down," I ordered my cousin. "We're not playing the role
game anymore. You... you do remember you're Scott, right?"
"Of course," he said and smiled widely. "But it's just so much fun, you
know, pretending. Can't we pretend for a little while longer?"
"Maybe not right now," I said, still trying to comprehend that this
exchange was actually taking place in real life. "Anyway, you
definitely seem more... energetic than usual, especially considering
what you did last night."
"Yeah! Isn't it great?"
"Hey, are you sure you're alright?" I asked him. "You're not feeling
strange?"
"Never better!" he exclaimed and hugged me again. "I feel fantastic!
Absolutely fantastic! No headache, nothing!" So as not to leave any
doubts, he even did a little twirl on the floor right in front of Jake
and me. I was flabbergasted, as was Jake.
"That's our little Miss Sunshine," Kate said. She was sitting at the
dining table, having observed our reunion in silence but with an amused
expression on her face. "She's been like that since she woke up."
"When was that, by the way?" I asked.
"About 45 minutes ago, I think."
"We've been busy here," Scott babbled on. "First I had a good
breakfast, and then Kate made my face up and helped me with my hair.
She even borrowed me a fresh pair of panties. I was just asking her if
we could do each other's toenails next. I'd love that."
I couldn't help but stare at Kate with my mouth hanging open, hoping
that she'd confess this was a mere practical joke on me. Instead she
simply nodded, confirming Scott's story.
"Kate, have you guys already decided when the next roleplaying session
is going to be? I'll be so there! I'd really like to play Dawn again.
Do you think you could arrange that?"
"We'll have to see about that," Kate chuckled. "It may take some time,
since we have a bit of a mess on our hands right now."
"Oh," he said, sounding a little disappointed. "I'm keeping my fingers
crossed that everything will be sorted out ASAP. I just can't wait!"
Scott's strange sense of humor and love of clever sarcasm were well
known facts, but this show was beginning to convince even me that he
was actually being sincere. I wasn't sure how to react. Fresh memories
of Scott wanting a boy to play with and his trying to break into the
Taylors' house to get his hands on one came flooding to my mind. No
matter how hard I tried to push the thought aside, I couldn't help but
recognize the chilling possibility that he was turning out like Larry,
becoming his character entirely. In that case, it might be only a
matter of time before I would indeed find myself patrolling the town
cemetery at night or pining after an undead boyfriend. Charlie and
Jake, of course, would be in for something similar. None of it seemed
like a laughing matter anymore.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," Jake began, directing his words to Scott,
"but I was under the impression you weren't all that crazy about
wearing a skin or having to pretend you're a girl."
"I wasn't," Scott said. "But to be honest, it's really not as bad as I
thought it would be. Once you get used to this body it really grows on
you. It's got all this energy and it makes you feel so positive and
happy about life and, well, pretty much everything. I can't really
explain it, but I see everything in a new light now and my mind is so
clear. Besides, I'd really like to give roleplaying another shot. Maybe
it'll work out even better next time."
"You're not planning to stay that way, are you?" I asked flat out.
"Um," Scott began, somewhat apprehensively, "I suppose not. I mean,
it's not that I don't like it here, but I still have my own life to
lead. Anyway, I want to enjoy this as long as I can."
"I promised to drive her to her apartment," Kate said. "And, just in
case you were wondering, the Rankinses did stop by but went on their
way when I told them that Mom and Dad weren't home, so you guys are
safe here now."
"So, Scott, why not stay?" I inquired. "What's the hurry?"
"Oh, no particular reason," Scott said. "I just need to get a few
things done. Maybe we can get together later, you know, have a slumber
party or something like that."
"Mom would probably be happy," Kate remarked. "She told me this morning
she likes it when our house is full of girls. It's a nice change of
pace, provided that they don't drink."
"Hopefully it won't last long," I said.
"Which do you mean? Lots of girls here or you guys not drinking?"
"Both."
"I'm guessing your Mom will be a bit disappointed when she gets back,"
Jake commented. "Kate, could you take me home too?"
"Sure," she replied.
"Et tu, amice," I remarked. "Now who am I supposed to commiserate with?
And what about your folks?"
"I have to face the music sooner or later," he said, "so I might as
well do it now. If they're not there, and I'm hoping so, I can rest for
a while and enjoy some peace and quiet. I just need to get my mind in
working order again."
"Of course."
"We'll get together later and do something stupid like get drunk, but
right now I need to unwind."
"That's a good idea, actually," I said. "Might get some shut-eye
myself."
"See you!"
Kate went on to usher the two synthetic females out of the door and
into my car, and as soon as the party of three had left the building, I
trudged to the guest room and more or less instantaneously collapsed on
the bed that had provided Scott a comfortable nest to sleep in last
night. The sheets and the blanket were still there, albeit in a
disorderly heap, but I merely laid myself down on top of them, pulled a
pillow under my head and closed my eyes. Even though sleep didn't come
immediately, I did feel surprisingly tired.
Jake certainly was a veritable fountain of good ideas, I thought to
myself. Nothing like a little nap to clear your head when you've been
turned into a girl against your will. I chuckled at this and then some
more when I imagined somebody coming here and hearing me laugh to
myself for no apparent reason. They'd think I had lost my mind--or that
I was a cannibal. Didn't old cannibals usually suffer from a brain
disease that makes them laugh insanely to themselves? I decided I would
have to look that up. At any rate, I was sure I deserved a pat on the
back for not going totally insane. Many if not most people would have
been ready for the padded cell if they had gone through what I had. For
instance, Larry...
"That asshole!" I mumbled out loud and fell gently asleep.
I opened my eyes and realized I was looking at the ceiling of my own
room. Rays of the sun were streaming in through the window, forming an
almost perfectly square-shaped bright spot on the wall, so it had to be
late afternoon. As soon as my still sleepy brain had comprehended this
much, I noticed something about myself. The weight of breasts on my
chest was gone, and so was the pull of the long hair on my head. Even
more interestingly, the familiar sensation of male equipment between my
legs had returned. Carefully and deliberately I lifted my right arm and
touched my face with my fingertips. Immediately, they came into contact
with scratchy stubble, the telltale sign that I hadn't shaved for more
than 24 hours.
Unsure whether or not I could trust my senses, I got slowly on my feet.
Even my own clothes were back, it seemed; the ones I had worn as a
replica Buffy would probably have torn if I had tried to get into them
as I was now. I looked around, waiting for a full minute to see if this
environment was indeed real. I almost expected it to vanish any second,
but nothing of the sort happened. For all I could tell, everything had
been restored to normal.
I moved around a little to get my stiff limbs to working condition
again and could not help but wonder how different my body felt. I was
much taller, much more massive and much clumsier than I had remembered,
and a single step seemed to carry me a long distance forward. My belly
weighed apparently about a ton, and I was almost afraid that the floor
might give way under me. It was equally odd to have my own genitalia
back where they belonged; never before had I noticed how much they took
up space. Not that I would have parted with them--the reunion was
joyful, regardless of my general disorientation.
"So," I said slowly to myself, emphasizing every syllable,"what the
hell was that?" My voice sounded a bit raspy, as my throat was dry, but
it was definitely my own voice, not a young woman's. That was another
relief, but I still struggled to understand what I had just
experienced.
The Halloween party had to have been imaginary, I told myself as I
walked quietly towards the staircase, looking at the walls and
furniture of the upper floor of my parents' house as if I had never
seen them before. That was the most logical explanation: a dream, or
maybe a hallucination within a dream. Those strange skinsuits could not
exist in real life, and my thirty-one-year-old little sister was not a
bubbly teenager anymore. Jake no longer lived with his parents, nor did
Scott, nor Kenny Taylor. I hadn't seen Larry for more than a decade,
and of course he had never turned himself permanently into a duplicate
of Faith the Vampire Slayer. Why and how had my brain concocted such an
insane scenario? It had to have been by far the most realistic and
detailed dream I had ever had, and it was complete lunacy from start to
finish.
I was halfway down the stairs when I heard my cell phone start to ring
somewhere in the house. Wasting no time, I ran down the remaining steps
and dashed into the kitchen, scanning the table and the counter as I
went. The phone was nowhere to be seen. Next, I tried the living room,
and sure enough, the device was lying in the middle of the big table,
playing a melody to catch my attention. I had no recollection
whatsoever of leaving it here, but I was glad all the same to have
found it. Quickly I grabbed it and answered, without even checking the
caller ID first.
"Mike Caldwell."
"Hey, man!" Jake's voice boomed from the other end. "It's me. How are
you doing?"
"Fine, I'm fine," I replied, momentarily taken aback by the fact that
he didn't sound at all like Willow Rosenberg. "What's up?"
"Oh, I just thought I'd let you know I'm coming to see my uncle, and
I'll be staying over at his place for three or four days. You know, in
case you'd like to come and see me."
"Yeah, that'd be nice. I haven't got anything planned, so I'd like to
come. I'm at my parents' house right now."
"Hey, that's excellent! So you're only five miles away. And guess what?
I finally got it!"
"Got what?"
"The AR-15 I told you about! The paperwork's all done, and I went and
bought the piece the day before yesterday. It's used, but in almost
mint condition, with forward assist and a Picatinny rail, but the shop
owner threw in a classic upper receiver with the tactical carry handle
as well. I have it with me and was planning to take it to the range and
put some holes in a couple of targets. I'd like you to come too. What
do you say?"
"Um... that sounds great," I said, still trying to process what I was
hearing.
"It's been a while since you last put some five-five-six downrange,
right? So, I thought you'd love refreshing some of those good old
memories."
"You're right. It's been a while."
"Anyway, the rifle came with no fancy optics or anything, just the
basic accessories and two 20-round mags, so I bought another 30-round
one. I was thinking to have some custom iron sights installed when I
have the money, but that'll have to wait a little. As for our trip, are
you in?"
"Sure. I'll give you a call when I get some things sorted. I'm... well,
kind of tired, you see, so maybe we could go tomorrow if weather's
alright."
"Fine. Call me then. Bye, man!"
"Bye, Jake!"
Kate had strolled into the room while I was talking on my phone, so
when I put it down, I turned and saw her standing there. Somehow, she
looked a little different to me now, and it took me a couple of seconds
to identify what it was about her that had suddenly changed.
"Hey, your hair," I said. "Did you go to a hairdresser and get a
shorter cut, or am I seeing things?"
"Well, I did go a couple of weeks ago," she said and let out a chuckle,
"but I only got a moderate dye job and had some trimming done, and
besides, my hair's not even that short anymore. Why do you ask?"
"I thought you still had it halfway down your back." The reddish
highlights she had had after the roleplaying party were gone, too, and
she now sported what was almost her natural hair color.
"Oh no, I didn't." She shook her head and smiled. "My hair's not been
that long for years, not since I was a freshman in college, or about
that time. You really didn't notice it before?"
"Of course I did, but... I don't know. Maybe I didn't take a good look
at you."
My words sounded utterly stupid, but I could no longer take them back.
She looked at me with a furrowed brow and commented, "You seem kind
of... well, preoccupied. Is something wrong?"
"No, not at all," I replied quickly. "I'm fine. It's just that I saw
this really strange dream and I thought it was real."
"What was it about?"
"Uh... I think we were at a Halloween party of some kind. Scott was
there, and Charlie and Jake, and Scott got drunk."
"Sounds like good old times, doesn't it?" Kate laughed. "You guys sure
did your share of drinking and fooling around, back in the day. It's a
wonder none of you was ever arrested or anything."
"Come on! We were not that bad!"
"I could bring up some pretty hilarious examples of the stuff you
pulled," she pointed out, "but maybe I'll let it slide, just this
once."
"That reminds me," I said, "can you recall me and Scott and Jake ever
dressing up as the Blues Brothers for a Halloween party?"
"Not offhand. When was it?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe around the time you graduated from high school, or
a little before that."
"Come to think of it," she mused, "I guess you did so at some point. Oh
yeah, you did! It was at Jennifer Mullen's father's hunting cabin...
wait, what, twelve years ago? I don't remember the year, but we were
there alright. It all came back to me just now."
She let out a chuckle at the memory, and so did I, even though her
recollections of the event must have been much clearer than mine. For
whatever reason, it was a tremendous relief for me to hear that this
party had definitely happened, unlike the one with the skinsuits and
Buffy the Vampire Slayer roleplay.
"Where's Mom, by the way?" I asked casually. The house felt strangely
empty, with apparently only me and Kate there.
"At the charity meeting."
"Do they meet on Sundays?"
"That sure had to be some dream, Mike," Kate commented and smiled again
at me. "It's Friday, half past three."
"Huh? I thought it was Sunday already. The damn thesis must be getting
to me again, or something. Perhaps I ought to get some more rest and
let my head clear up."
"That should be a good idea. You're on vacation, so you might as well
relax a little."
Her cell phone rang, and she fished it out of her trouser pocket and
went upstairs to talk with the caller, whoever that was. The study was
next to the living room, and for no particular reason I wandered slowly
there after she had left me alone. Perhaps looking at and interacting
with the familiar surroundings would help to clear the mess in my mind.
I had to try to get used to the fact that I was a man again and that my
memories from the last couple of days--subjectively speaking--were most
likely not real.
I laid my eyes on the computer, and on the spur of the moment, I
decided to check if I had new e-mail while I was there. So, I sat on
the office chair and pressed the power switch. The aging machine woke
up, its cooler fans started running and the screen came alive. I had
half a minute or so to fiddle my thumbs before I was prompted for a
password, and then the operating system duly gave me access to the
desktop. There was only one user account, used by everyone, and the
password was not particularly difficult to guess; it was more of a
formality than actual protection, but when the computer had been bought
years ago, I (as the de facto system administrator) had insisted on
having it enabled and memorized by all in the family.
A quick check using the webmail application of my university showed
nothing new in my inbox, apart from another spam message from some fake
scientific journal. In fact, I had already gotten at least five more or
less identical ones during the past two months from the same address,
and even though I had marked them as junk, the e-mail filter was still
letting them through. I did the same for this message as well, hoping
that the filter would finally understand how I wanted it to deal with
anything sent by the bogus Turkish publication.
I then logged out of my e-mail account and was about to shut down the
whole computer when another whim hit me. Directing the web browser to
Google's main page, I wrote the words "Warburton high Nebraska" in the
search box and pressed enter.
In hindsight, my train of thought was not all that logical, but I had
become very curious about Kate's friend Tina. I considered a little
background check on her to be in order, irrespective of whether or not
the Buffy-themed party had been objectively real. She struck me as a
shady character, someone who might be something other than she
appeared. The first, comparatively easy step in my investigation was to
find out about her old hometown and school. I actually expected that
Warburton, Nebraska did not even exist.
I was proven wrong in less than a second. There was indeed such a town
in Nebraska, apparently not unlike our little Greensville, and it also
had a high school with professional-looking, neat web pages. However,
this didn't satisfy me yet. The top of the page had a navigation menu
with an item called "Contact us", and I clicked on it. In a matter of
moments, I was looking at the faculty and administration phone numbers
and e-mail addresses.
If I had been more patient, I would likely have created a free ad hoc
e-mail account and then sent them a message from there, but even if
they had responded to it at all, they might have taken their time doing
so, and I wanted answers as quickly as possible. So I pulled out my
phone and typed in the number for the school's student records and
transcripts office, saving it in the contacts list.
This situation presented me with a dilemma of sorts. I realized that it
would have been more cautious and prudent to find a payphone to call
the school, but as it happened, almost all public phones in and around
Greensville had been removed in the past decade as fewer and fewer
people used them. I couldn't even remember where the nearest
operational booth was now, and I had no desire to go looking for one in
my car. The other option was to call from my cell phone directly, but
that would give the school my number, and I was not keen on allowing
them to find out my identity. They might legitimately be concerned
about my intentions, even if they refused to give me any information.
In an uncharacteristically bold move, I settled on the latter option.
After leaving the computer to shut down, I marched into the living room
with my phone in my hand. Kate was somewhere in the house, and as I
didn't want her to overhear me, I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack
and went outside in the backyard before selecting the school's number
and pressing the call button.
The ringback tone sounded five times before someone picked up on the
other end of the connection. A somewhat raspy woman's voice answered,
"Warburton High, administration. How may I help you?"
"Hi," I greeted her. "This is... um, Mike, Mike Simmons. I'd like to...
uh, obtain some information about a former student of yours, if that's
okay." I immediately cringed for sounding that nervous and awkward; I
was certain the woman would tell me off.
"What kind of information?" she asked in a monotonous voice.
"Actually," I hurried to explain, "I'm helping to organize a sort of a
class reunion, and I was wondering if you could, uh, tell me if a
certain student was at one time enrolled at your school."
"I suppose I can possibly help you with that," she said. "However, as
I'm sure you know, the student addresses, attendance, health and
disciplinary records, test scores and things like that are strictly
confidential. I can't give you anything that has to do with those."
"That's okay. I'd just like to check if this person has ever studied at
Warburton High."
"Are you with the law enforcement or some State or Federal agency,
sir?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I'm just a friend of hers, and they tasked
me with collecting info on the reunion participants. We're planning to
make a small chronicle about all of us, kind of like a sequel to our
high school yearbook."
"Alright then."
"So, anyway, the person's name is Tina Mills. She lived there when she
was younger but moved out of state after her junior or sophomore year.
She would have been in the class of... 2003 or 2004, I think."
"Just a moment, sir," the woman said.
The other end of the connection fell silent, save for the fast, barely
audible clicking of keys on a computer keyboard. I shifted my feet back
and forth anxiously, already regretting my decision to play at a
private detective.
"Sorry, sir," the woman reported after a while. "No matches came up."
"Did you check the class of 2005 as well?" I asked. "She may have been
held back because... uh, because her family moved from place to place a
lot."
"I checked all the classes from 1990, which is when our current
electronic records start," she responded with a tone of slight
impatience. "No one by the name of Tina Mills is listed there."
"Oh, I see," I said. "That's strange. She should be."
"Sir, are you sure about the name? Is Mills her maiden name or married
name?"
"It must be the former. I don't believe she's ever been married. But
the given name could be short for Christina or something like that, so
maybe---"
"There are no matches for any female student named Mills after 1990,
sir. I'm sorry."
"Well, okay," I said. "I might have been mistaken. Sorry to have
bothered you, and thanks. Goodbye."
"Bye," she said unceremoniously and hung up.
I slipped the phone into my pocket and went back into the house, deep
in thought. The answer I had received to my inquiry was more or less
what I had expected, but all it did was to confirm my suspicion that
something was amiss with one of Kate's friends. Even though there could
be an innocent explanation for her being less than completely candid
about her past, my doubts about her were certainly not allayed.
In a minute, I had found my way to the living room couch, and I sat
down. Toying absentmindedly with the phone, I once again tried to make
some sense of the situation, no matter how impossible it seemed.
Someone had to know more about all this. Perhaps one of the other
people present at the Buffy party had experienced something similar, I
thought; if that was the case, there was a chance we could find out
more by comparing notes. This idea, too, admittedly owed much more to
intuition than logic or common sense, but at the moment it felt as
reasonable as anything. Something strange had either happened in the
past or was happening now to me, and it involved certain other people.
I even considered giving Larry a call. I didn't have his number, but
assuming it was not unlisted, I could in principle look it up. Of
course, finding the number was just the first obstacle: he might not
answer at all if he saw that the call was coming from me. At any rate,
if I was to attempt contacting him, I would need to plan ahead and
think carefully what to say. I would probably have to offer him peace,
ask questions about his life and try to thaw him out to the best of my
ability. Maybe then, if all went well, I might be able to tack on a few
innocent little questions about a Halloween party many years ago;
whether or not he remembered it, and if he did, did he also recall
something very much out of ordinary happening then. Of course, this
would all be a sort of moot point if he had actually turned into
Leslie/Faith and was still in her form, I thought, but at least I would
then have concrete evidence---
I felt a hand on my arm, startling me so much that I turned quickly
around. For a fleeting moment I was completely disoriented again until
it dawned on me that I had woken up and returned to the grim reality,
if that is what this was. The hand belonged to Kate, or her long-
haired, teenaged version, whom I saw looking down at me. I was laying
on my side on the guest room bed and was, very much against my hopes
and wishes, back in my Buffy form. I didn't need a mirror to find that
out.
"A nightmare?" she asked.
"No, this is the nightmare. How long was I asleep, anyway?" I asked
her.
"Close to three hours," she commented.
From behind Kate, a small girl walked into my view. Even though she was
immediately recognizable as Ella Woodbine, our neighbors' six-year-old
daughter, I stared at her as if she had fallen from the sky.
"Ella," Kate said to the little girl, "this is... uh, this is Aunt
Cindy. Say hi to her!"
"Hi," Ella said coyly.
"Hi, Ella," I mumbled for a reply and got up so I was sitting on the
edge of the bed. As the dimensions of my body had seemingly changed for
the third time, I again had to think before every movement, no matter
how small.
"Ella's parents had to go to town so we'll have to babysit her for a
while," Kate explained. "I'm going to cook us something to eat, so
you'll have to help. Would you like to play something with Aunt Cindy,
Ella?"
"A tea party," the girl announced. I opened my mouth to make a protest,
but Kate aimed a death stare at me and said,
"You really, really need to help me out now--if you want to eat today,
that is. Make nice and play with her. Please, Cindy, just this once. No
excuses."
Maybe it was Kate's pleading and reasoning, but I personally blame
Ella's huge, moist doe eyes for the fact that three minutes later I was
sitting on the upstairs floor with the little girl and a couple of
Kate's old Barbie dolls and other assorted toys which had gotten a new,
unexpected lease on life after the Woodbines had moved next door to us
with their young daughter. It was not uncommon for Kate to babysit her;
she adored Kate more than anything in the world, and they got along
fabulously well. Besides, a few minutes into our little play, I
realized this was actually a blessing for me. Ella made sure I had no
time to feel sorry for myself after my return to normalcy had turned
out to have been nothing but a lovely dream.
I had to admit Ella was as cute as cute can be with her freckles and
little round nose. She had her dark blond hair in pigtails, and she was
wearing a red sleeveless dress and white shirt and socks. It had taken
her almost no time at all to decide which doll was to sit where and who
was to have which mug. I just followed her directions; this being my
first tea party ever, I had next to no idea what to do. As we went, I
got a brief description of each of the plastic participants'
personalities (some background information that Ella came up with was
really funny, but there's no space for that here), and now I was
supposed to know how to play.
"Cindy," Ella asked, "could you please give me some sugar?"
"There you go," I replied, handing her one of the small plastic pots. I
congratulated myself for remembering which one it was. I had just made
a faux pas by offering her the one where we kept the imaginary cookies,
and it would be embarrassing to make the same mistake again in front of
all these classy (if quiet) guests.
"Thank you," Ella said primly. "Give some to Miss Williams, too."
"There's your sugar, Miss," I told one of the dolls and dropped an
invisible sugar cube in her cup. I was getting the hang of this, I told
myself. With some luck, the party would be a success with no more major
blunders on my part.
"Miss Williams thanks you," Ella explained.
"You're very welcome," I said to the Barbie doll, suppressing a
chuckle.
"Miss Williams is friends with a beautiful princess. Her brother likes
Miss Williams, but Miss Williams doesn't like him."
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Because boys are stupid," came the straightforward answer. "Like
Benjy. He's always calling me names at school and he tries to steal my
backpack from me."
"You know," I suggested, "sometimes boys do that to girls when they
like them but are too shy to tell them. Maybe Benjy likes you."
"Whatever. I don't like him anyway. He's stupid, just like all boys."
For a moment, I wondered if this Benjy fellow was one of the quartet
that had paid us a visit at the villa yesterday. If that was so, then
he had received a sort of retribution for all his misdeeds as Leslie's
talk about kissing them had sent the boys running for their lives.
Perhaps that was the only redeeming thing Leslie had done during her
entire existence.
"Aunt Cindy," Ella asked, "do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, I don't."
"Is it because you think that boys are stupid too?"
I knew I had to keep a straight face, no matter what. Ella's candid
questions and comments would have made me smile or even laugh on
several occasions, but doing so could have hurt her feelings. So I did
my best to contain my amusement and give her a proper answer.
"No, it's not that," I said. "I simply haven't gotten around to it
yet."
"It's not a smart thing to do, hanging around with a boy," Ella advised
me. "They just tease you and call you names. I know."
"Big boys don't," I corrected her playfully, realizing a little too
late that I would have been better off keeping my mouth shut. "When
girls and boys grow up, they start to like each other."
"Yeah, they hold hands and do all kinds of gross stuff, like kissing!"
Ella remarked with disgust. "Aunt Cindy, is that where babies come
from? Mom and Dad tell me that babies come from hospitals, but Benjy
says that they come after people have sex."
"Uh, that's..." I stammered, desperately trying to think of a way to
change the subject of the conversation. "Well, you see, it's..."
"What does having sex mean, Aunt Cindy?"
Right then, Kate came upstairs. "How are you guys doing here?" she
asked with a bright smile on her face.
"Oh--fine, just fine," I said. "We're having a great time."
"Ella, your mommy and daddy just called me," Kate said. "They said they
are home now and asked me to tell you to come home too."
"I don't want to!" she protested. "We're not done yet."
"You can come see us again tomorrow," I suggested.
"Yeah, that's right," Kate accompanied me. "Aunt Cindy will be staying
with us for a few more days."
"Much to her dismay," I added under my breath but kept my smile on.
"Promise we can continue the party then?" Ella said to me.
"Promise."
"Okay then," she relented. "I have to go. Goodbye, Aunt Cindy."
"Goodbye, Ella," I said to her.
"I'll come with you, Ella, and walk you home," Kate offered. "Cindy,
why don't you pick up the toys and then come downstairs. The food's
ready soon."
The perky little girl got on her feet and walked down the stairs with
Kate. While tea parties would in all likelihood never be my forte, she
had actually managed to brighten up a dull day, as far as I was
concerned. There was now at least one person in the world who would
sincerely miss having "Cindy Caldwell" around, and while I still
passionately hoped that Mandy could get me out of this skinsuit, that
hope had become mixed with a tiny twinge of guilt.
It was some time after dinner that Amanda Elkins finally arrived. She
called Kate on her cell just beforehand, and we both went outside on
the porch steps to welcome her. She parked her car in front of our
house and stepped out as we were watching.
The woman was perhaps in her late thirties or early forties, with a
tall and willowy body and delicate facial features that could almost
have belonged to an ex-model. Her two most striking physical features
were the flaming red hair, which was tastefully cut and just about
reached her shoulders, and captivating light blue eyes. When she looked
straight at me, her gaze felt downright piercing, but this was
contrasted by her warm, reassuring smile. Judging by her dimples, she
indeed smiled and laughed a lot. She was dressed in a dark-colored
women's business attire with a knee-length pencil skirt and a beige
overcoat, an outfit that would have been equally suitable for office
work or an informal evening out with friends. She carried a large black
bag on her shoulder, and I hoped that the cure for my condition would
be there.
"Hi!" she said to Kate and hugged her. Elkins' voice was just like I
had imagined it, a lilting mezzo soprano. "Good to see you again."
"Likewise," Kate replied. "You have no idea how glad we both are to see
you."
"I won't make any promises," she said, "but I'll try my very best, of
course."
"May I introduce you to your patient?" Kate continued, gesturing at me.
Elkins turned to look at me and then approached me. Not overly eager to
hug her right there and then, I extended my arm to shake hands with her
instead. She took my hand and greeted me, "Very nice to meet you! I'm
Amanda, but please call me Mandy." She looked me over and added, "My,
you do look very nice, Buffy."
I did my best to restrain myself from wincing. Kate hurried to
interject,
"She doesn't really like being called that, Mandy."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she gushed. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I
didn't know. Have you decided on your new name yet, sweetie?"
"Yes, I have," I said, trying not to show that I hated the pet name
"sweetie" as well. "Michael will do fine, thank you."
"If you don't mind me saying, it sounds a little funny for someone like
you," she commented.
"Maybe, but that's the name I was given at birth," I declared, "and
that's the name I'll be buried with."
"Oh, I see," Mandy said and smiled again. "Michael it is, then. By the
way, how are you feeling, generally speaking? I know you probably
aren't exactly overjoyed with being in that body, but do you have any
physical discomfort?"
"Not really," I replied. "My body feels young but my mind is very old."
"Alright. So, would you like me to begin the examination right away, or
do you have something else in mind?"
"Right away, if you will. I'd like to get out of this skin as soon as
possible."
We went inside, and then I was examined by Mandy in the living room.
Actually 'examine' may not be the best word to describe the whole
thing: I had expected her to bring various sorts of potions and a ton
of strange instruments with her, but instead she simply told me to take
my shirt off and lean forward so she could take a good look at my back.
I assumed she was searching for the infamous black spot like Kate and
Sammy had done at the party. She also felt my back with the palm of her
hand, and I thought I could feel a slight tingling, similar to the
sensation caused by a very small electric current, whenever and
wherever she made physical contact with my body. The whole procedure
was over in less than three minutes, and then she told me I could dress
up again.
I was very anxious to hear the news, and as I was still pulling the top
and the the shirt back on, I asked her, "So, what's the diagnosis?"
Mandy didn't say anything at first. She seemed preoccupied, almost
mentally absent for a while, and she looked past me with an
expressionless, blank face as if in a shock of some sort. It took her a
while to regain her composure, and even when her reply came, it was
uncharacteristically quiet. Turning to look me straight in the eye, she
said,
"I think we'd better sit down and discuss this thing together."
My heart sank at that instant. I was certain that I had heard a tone of
resignation in her voice, signaling to me that my battle to regain my
old male form was irrevocably lost. All that she could do now was to
offer consolation and maybe a shoulder to cry on, but that was it. I
was a hopeless case. I felt numb all over and even a bit nauseous as I
walked to the kitchen table and sat down opposite to Mandy and my
sister, waiting to see what was to come next.
"Look," Mandy began, still sounding somewhat apprehensive, "I think I
need to describe the situation to you as it is and not sugarcoat it
with anything. You deserve the truth."
"Let's hear it," Kate said impatiently.
"The thing is, Michael's transformation has almost reached the point of
no return," Mandy explained. "When you put on a skin symbiont, it
immediately merges with you on molecular level. It entirely
reconstructs your body, but it stores the information it needs to
reverse the process. To be honest, I don't know for sure what the
memory is like, where it's located or how precisely it works, but
anyway, that's what happens. Be it magic or some mystical alien
technology, I don't know. However, the thing is that if you keep
wearing the symbiont long enough, it assumes you have chosen to be its
host for life and it starts to erase the information. After that's
done, there's absolutely no way to restore your previous body."
"Why do they do that?" Kate wondered.
"I believe they either evolved naturally or were artificially designed
that way in the distant past. They're meant to seek a host and then
merge with him or her. The techniques I have learned allow me to make
them relatively tame, so to speak. They don't start the irreversible
process immediately, but they will start it eventually."
"But you told us it would be completely safe to wear them," Kate
pointed out, "even for several days."
"Normally it is, and the final stage shouldn't kick in until a couple
of weeks or so. I just don't know what went wrong--not yet. This is
very unusual."
"Where do they come from, anyway?" my sister inquired. Had I been less
preoccupied with my own condition, I would have asked Mandy that and a
number of other similar questions, but right there and then I could
only think of myself.
"I'm not sure," Mandy confessed. "I know a lot about making them--or,
actually, breeding them. I know how to make them assume a certain form
and things like that, but their origin is a mystery to everyone as far
as I've been able to find out. Maybe they came from outer space
thousands of years ago. Besides, I've taken an oath of secrecy. I can't
reveal any of the details of symbiont breeding to outsiders. I trust
you understand me."
"Of course."
"Anyway, back to the issue at hand, namely Michael. The Buffy skin he's
wearing hasn't quite reached the irreversible stage just yet, but it's
really close now. We need to act fast if we want to stop it."
"Fine," I said. I felt my energy returning after realizing there might
still be a glimmer of hope left after all. "Let's act then by all
means. What should we do? Get some of that potion of yours? Would that
do the trick?"
"The standard mix is nowhere near powerful enough," Mandy told me.
"I'll have to make some of my extra strong formula and bring it here.
That'll take two or three days, and during that time the transformation
will progress further."
She paused for a short, dramatic moment. When she continued, she spoke
in a tone that was simultaneously soothing and caring but also very
serious as though to emphasize the gravity of the situation and the
decision I would have to make.
"Michael, you have two options here. You can either stay the way you
are now and simply accept the fact that you're female for the rest of
your natural born life, or you can allow me to try to restore your
original form. However, the second option means I'd have to attempt
removing your symbiont by force, and there are big risks involved
because the transformation is so far along. You might be injured, and
that could be anything from small scars to deformed limbs or damaged
internal organs. I'm sorry to say this, but it is even conceivable
although not likely that the process will be fatal. The choice is
yours."
"Good," I said, without hesitating for a second. "I choose the
restoration."
"You should think this over very, very carefully," she instructed me.
"You might not fully appreciate the risks."
"I'm aware of them but I trust you and your skills."
Mandy let out a polite, subdued laughter. "I'm glad to hear that,
Michael, but if I could give you an advice... Do you know what it would
be?"
"No, I don't."
"I'd stay female if I were you. Now, I understand you don't like the
idea, but the restoration is really difficult and there are a thousand
things that might go wrong. I'm certain your family would prefer a
living, healthy daughter to a dead or mutilated son."
"That's true!" Kate said, her voice slightly trembling. "I don't want
anything bad to happen to you!"
"May I say how I feel about this?" I asked.
"Of course," Kate said. Mandy nodded in agreement.
"I don't want to live like this. I'm a freak of nature, woman on the
outside, man inside. I'll do anything to get back to normal, even if it
means risking my life or at least my health. I think it's worth it."
I had made this little speech with my voice as full of finality as
possible, and it had been intended to be the closing statement on this
topic. But the women had other ideas; Mandy looked at me
sympathetically, reached out and took a hold of one of my hands and
said softly,
"Honey, I understand you're in pain, but I think it's time for you to
expand your views. You're not a freak. You're a lovely young woman
who's got the world as her playground. I can see you're still thinking
of yourself as a man in drag, but you should let go of that idea. Why
not make peace with your feminine side and embrace the new you, instead
of fighting it every chance you get? Just look at yourself! You're
intelligent, beautiful, kind, caring... an ideal combination. Millions
of women and even quite a few men would kill to get what you have.
That's the truth. You could be happy and successful beyond your wildest
dreams."
"But this is not who I am!" I insisted. "I don't want to walk around
looking like Sarah Michelle Gellar for the rest of my life! I'm neither
a true woman nor even unique, but a carbon copy of another human being!
Isn't that just fu... frigging great?"
"Actually," Mandy corrected me, "you're wrong on both counts. Your body
is modeled after Buffy the character, not Sarah the actress. There are
several differences, some of which you can easily notice; for example,
you're a natural blond whereas she's a brunette. So, as you see, you
actually are still unique. And as far as being a true woman is
concerned, you are that as well. Just as much as I am, or Kate is."
"That's total nonsense."
"Honestly, sweetie," she went on, still sounding as reassuring and
friendly as ever. "You can go to a gynecologist first thing tomorrow
and have your body checked, if you like. It's 100 per cent female, down
to your chromosomes. The only difference between you and me is that I
was born this way and you weren't, but that doesn't make you any less
of a girl than me. As a matter of fact, you can get pregnant and you
can even give birth to perfectly normal children. Come on, think about
that! You've been given the gift of bringing new life into the world!
If I was in your shoes, that alone would be enough to convince me to
stay a woman."
"It's different for you," I argued. "Like you said, you were born that
way and you developed naturally into womanhood. I'm still a man in my
mind and will always be."
"But are you sure that's the way it has to be?" she asked. "Have you
ever considered the possibility that you might actually be happier as a
woman? I realize I may offend you by saying this and I'm truly sorry if
I do, but I've been told that you weren't always too thrilled with
being a man. You didn't get that many girls and didn't feel
attractive."
"That's the truth," I admitted. "There's no reason for me to be
offended because of that."
"I'm not saying you were unattractive as a man. In fact, I think you
didn't look bad at all, and I'm certain that lots of young ladies would
agree with me. Still, your self-esteem was kind of low, probably even
too low. Well, now you have the chance of starting all over again, and
I've got to say you have been dealt the winning hand here. To put it
simply, you're a hottie. Getting dates won't ever be a problem for you
again, no way. Men will be all over you, sister!"
"That's exactly what I needed to hear!" I exclaimed in anguish.
This quite obviously made Mandy realize that she had gone too far and
in the wrong direction with her persuasion attempt. She promptly
changed her tactic, adding almost hastily,
"Of course, you may prefer the same sex just as well. I bet you'd be
equally popular in lesbian circles. I'm personally not very familiar
with them, but that's what I think. And there's a lot more to life than
dating and mating. If you stay in the skin and become its permanent
host, it'll keep your body young, healthy and strong for many, many
years to come."
I spent a few moments pondering the situation in silence, and Mandy was
waiting for me to continue the conversation. She probably did not want
me to think that she was trying to coax me into making a decision that
would satisfy her but not myself, and so the proverbial ball was in my
court. Admittedly, she had made a few good points, but the argument
involving men getting interested in me had been a serious mistake on
her part.
"Let's assume for a moment," I said, "that things go according to the
worst case scenario and I end up being stuck as Buffy Summers or
whatever this form is best called. What happens to me?"
"Essentially nothing," came Mandy's answer. "You'll go on living as
before, only as a female. You'll grow old and die eventually, of
course, but chances are your life is a long and fulfilling one."
"Yes, but I mean mentally, not physically. What will I be like?"
"Not much different. You'll retain all of your memories, and your
skills, like the ability to drive a car or do math, will remain as they
are. Your behavior might become a little more feminine; you know, you
could be a bit more emotional at times and you could have a sudden urge
to cover all the couches and armchairs and beds with small, colorful
pillows, but that's about it. Basically you'll be the female version of
yourself."
I couldn't help but smile at the pillow comment, and Kate and Mandy
smiled as well. However, I had begun to feel that they both were
absolutely bent on persuading me to remain this way. Kate's motivation
was most likely my welfare, but I had started to suspect that Mandy had
some sort of a hidden agenda. Perhaps she was simply reluctant to take
responsibility in case the restoration process went wrong, but somehow
I had the impression that it wasn't her only reason to advice me
against undergoing the operation. At any rate, I pushed these thoughts
to the background and continued, a bit awkwardly,
"What about... um, my sexuality?"
"What about it?" Mandy asked and smiled reassuringly again. "Don't be
shy, just ask away."
"A skin turned Larry Simmons into a completely unhinged nymphomaniac.
Is there a chance that... something similar will happen to me as
well?"
"No," Mandy chuckled. "I don't think that's likely at all. Sure, there
may be some minor hormonal imbalances at first, but they should work
themselves out without much trouble. Don't worry; you won't become a
sex machine, unless you want to."
"Yeah, about that," I continued. "I'm also a little concerned about
my... orientation. Does it change?"
"That's a bit complicated," Mandy said. "I take it you used to be a
straight guy; am I right?"
"Yes, and I still am a straight guy."
"Very well. When a person ends up being a host of a symbiont that
changes their sex, it usually adjusts their sexual preferences to
match. So, for instance, if there is a gay woman who puts on a male
skin and never takes it off again, she's likely to end up being
attracted to men."
"I don't think I like where this is going," I commented warily.
"As for you," Mandy continued, "you're starting off as what is
technically speaking a lesbian, since you're into females for now. It
might well be the end of story, but I would say you'll probably start
eying men in a few weeks. What then typically follows is a brief period
of bisexuality when you make all kinds of experimentations. Again, the
change might end there, but it is much more likely that you eventually
become essentially straight again, a heterosexual woman who perhaps
enjoys the occasional lesbian fling."
"Oh my God," I sighed and shook my head slowly.
"Look, no one can say that this will absolutely, definitely happen to
you, Michael, but it is what you should be prepared for."
"That settles it," I said. "I'm definitely opting for the restoration."
"I understand that it sounds disgusting to you now," Mandy argued, "but
when the time comes, it will feel completely natural. You won't
suddenly wake up a bisexual or straight girl one morning. The
transition takes time and happens in small steps, but it happens all
the same. There's absolutely no reason why you should resist it."
"I've made up my mind," I declared. "Change me back, Mandy, by whatever
means necessary. As long as it doesn't kill me straight away, you'll
have my consent."
"I see," she said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I'll do what I can.
However, I would still like you to get a good night's sleep on this and
reconsider your decision in the morning. If you change your mind, just
call me."
"I believe my mind is pretty much made up," I said, "and it usually
stays that way."
"Can you say when you'll have the antidote ready?" Kate asked her.
"It's going to take a little time, so probably around Wednesday," Mandy
said and rose to her feet, with Kate and me following suit. "Well then,
I guess I have to go now. I still need to check on your friends."
"Do you know the way?" Kate inquired.
"You gave pretty good directions, so I believe I won't get lost. I'll
call you if I do."
"Okay."
"Oh, and Michael, I meant to ask you one more thing. Your friends--how
do they feel about this?"
"Well," I responded, "if you'd like to know whether or not they want to
change back, then I'd say the answer is yes. Jake in particular is
really looking forward to shedding the Willow skin. If I were you, I'd
start with him. The poor guy's probably climbing the walls already."
Suddenly Mandy seemed to brighten up as if she had just remembered
something. "Oh, Jake White," she mused. "So that's him! Thanks for your
advice, but I'm thinking I'll save him for last instead."
This perplexed me. "Why?"
"We have a kind of history."
"What do you mean? History as in... What, a relationship?"
"No, no," she chuckled. "Nothing like that. I once happened to run into
him on one of those Internet forums, and let's just say we didn't
exactly agree on everything. It got a little nasty."
"But you will help him, won't you?" I pleaded. It was just our luck
that the only person who could possibly get us out of this mess was an
enlightened liberal skinsuit creator and one of the many who had taken
offense at Jake's opinions online.
"Sure I will," she assured me, "but maybe a little later. He can
consider this sensitivity training."
"Besides," Kate added, "he does smell better now."
"That's not very nice," I protested. "We're talking about my best
friend here!"
"Don't worry," Mandy said. "I may be tempted to bring up his misogyny
and some other views when I visit him, but I won't do anything to harm
him. I promise."
"Fair enough."
"Now, Michael, could you please excuse us for a moment? I need to talk
with your sister in private."
"Okay," I said. "As long as you two aren't planning to arrange some of
that sensitivity training for me as well."
I went compliantly upstairs to my room as the women continued their
discussion downstairs. However, I regarded it as imperative to know
what they were up to (or, to put it in another way, to be absolutely
certain that they weren't scheming anything unpleasant behind my back),
so I carefully opened my window, hoping that they might go outside and
their voices would carry. Eavesdropping was not something I normally
did without hesitation, but I viewed it as a lesser evil in this case.
Sure enough, I soon heard the front door of our house slam shut, and
then my ears, which had become quite a bit more sensitive than they
used to be when I was still in my own form, picked up the females
talking. I could only hear them barely but nevertheless well enough to
make out almost all the words, which would probably have been mere
mumble with my old hearing.
"...could come around," Kate was telling Mandy. "She might still get
used to the idea, but that's the way she's always been. Anti-change, if
you know what I mean. She wants everything to remain the same forever."
Save for the pronoun, her description fit me so well that further
listening in was warranted in my opinion.
"It's understandable," Mandy commented. "Nobody can just slip into
another body and gender and be instantly comfortable with that. These
things take time."
"Guess so," Kate said.
"She's in a very delicate phase at the moment. She'll be needing all
the support you can give her. You have to show her that being a woman
has its upsides too, not only downsides. Be there for her."
"Understood. It might actually be fun."
"Of course it will be! Even though she's a little older than you, going
by both her actual and biological age, you are now the big sister in
the house."
"Yeah."
"Whatever you do," Mandy continued, "make sure she doesn't sit in her
room all day long. Take her out to town, go shopping with her,
whatever. She will probably be very reluctant at first, but keep at it.
Don't force her into anything she's not ready for, but don't let her
curl up and disconnect from the rest of human society either. Gentle
but firm, that's the way to go."
"I know how to handle her," Kate said. "I talked her into coming to our
costume party, and I can talk her into other things as well. It's
really not that hard."
"Manipulating little brat," I muttered.
"And remember to touch her as much as possible."
"What?" Kate almost exclaimed. "Touch her?"
"Yeah. Give her hugs, hold her hand, groom her hair," Mandy explained.
"Things like that. It's a good way to let her know that she's still
loved and cared for, and it'll also help prevent her from developing a
fear of touch. Many transformees are so ill at ease in their new bodies
that they can't stand even the smallest touch from another human being.
Sooner or later that leads to severe psychological problems."
"No shit," I said to myself.
"Kate, these following weeks and months will be crucial. If things go
terribly wrong, your sister may end up in serious trouble. On the other
hand, it's quite possible and even likely that, with your help, she'll
become a happy, well-adjusted, successful, outgoing and sociable young
woman her family can be proud of. That's our goal."
"Definitely," Kate confirmed. "That's what I want."
"She might resist in the beginning, but she'll thank you later. You can
rest assured."
Mandy was about to enter her car at this point, and even though the
women said a few more words to each other, I was no longer interested.
I had heard plenty.
Kate reentered the house just as I was descending the stairs. I
wondered whether or not it would be sensible to talk to her about some
of my fears; now I knew for sure that she was against my decision to be
transformed back at all costs, and Mandy was apparently trying to
strengthen that stance. She would have to keep what I was going to say
to herself and not share it with Elkins.
"Cindy," she called, "come here for a sec."
I did as she asked and came face to face with her near the kitchen
door.
"Hey," Kate said, smiling, "Mandy gave me some good advice. I'm going
to be your guide in your journey to womanhood."
"Like Virgil was to Dante," I commented. "He too went through Hell."
"And ended up in Heaven," Kate added without missing a beat. "Anyway,
Mandy warned that you shouldn't just sit here all the time. Come
Monday, we're going to hit the town and go shopping! Is that alright
with you?"
"Whatever you say," I replied and sighed.
"Some more enthusiasm, please!" she prodded. "Try saying things like,
'Yippee! New clothes!' If the others like to come, we'll bring them
along."
"Look," I said in a more serious tone, "I appreciate you trying to make
me feel better, but that may be too soon. I need some more time."
"We might not have more time than that," she pointed out. "Who knows,
maybe Mandy will get her potion ready ahead of time and bring it here
first thing Tuesday morning. Then the opportunity's lost."
"Um, about that. I'm pretty concerned, to tell you the truth. Somehow I
get the feeling she's not overly interested in helping me."
Kate looked surprised at this confession. "What makes you think that?"
she asked quizzically. "I'm sure she'll be doing her very best."
"I hope so," I said, "but didn't it sound odd when she started that 'I-
don't-know-if-anything-can-be-done' mantra of hers even before she had
set foot in the house? Before she had taken one single look at me, she
was already saying that! And later she claimed something to the effect
that trouble with these skinsuits is rare but still there apparently
are lots of people who have gotten stuck for life--you know, what with
the scenarios of sexuality evolving and so on. There must be at least
some cases before you can talk about statistics and likelihoods."
"Maybe those people were like Larry," Kate suggested. "Perhaps they
wanted to stay in their skins."
"Some probably did," I conceded, "but not necessarily all. You know, I
think I smell a rat."
"What are you saying? That there's this huge conspiracy, and Mandy's
involved?"
"I suppose anything's possible."
"And what's their ultimate goal? To turn us all into Buffy characters
and make it real?"
"You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
"I suppose anything's possible," she said with a chuckle and a wide
smile. "Now, let's forget about your bad feelings and start planning
ahead. I can't wait to show the world my new sister!"
(To be continued...)