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Kristen's Journey Chapter 1: My Job Interview I started my new job on a late summer day. As it turned out, I also started my new life on that same day. I'd only been out of work for a few weeks after my last employer went through one of its downsizing cycles. I had some fairly desirable job skills as both a web designer and programmer and had secured a half dozen or so interviews within days of being laid-off (with a sizable cash severance). One small company really intrigued me. I'd only worked for large corporations before and this time I wanted to stay away from that kind of impersonal setting. This was a small, woman owned online publishing company that specialized in women authors. They needed someone that could both keep the computers working and to help out with content design. I fit the bill. Well, almost. When I arrived on Thursday for my first interview, I immediately felt a strong sense of place. Flowers, pastel colors, and lace permeated a decor of what was undoubtedly a very feminine office setting. I'd never been overtly aware of my sexuality, having drifted through my teen years as an introvert more interested in computers than people. I had taken on a decidedly androgynous persona, helped by the fact that I was not tall, slender, and had virtually no discernible facial hair. That had kept members of both sexes confused and at bay. That served me fine while working in those large corporations as an anonymous cog. But as I now neared my mid twenties, I was feeling the need for friendship, companionship and belonging. That was the primary reason I was now looking to work for small company: a place where I'd be forced to be more involved with my co -workers and come out of my self-imposed shell. Earlier that day I'd had an interview with another small company, but one that was male dominated. It was also an internet company but they specialized in team sports memorabilia. The boisterous atmosphere and the strong sexual innuendo directed toward the two female employees (both remarkably attractive) just made me uncomfortable (I guess I had been paying attention to all the harassment guidelines that my last employer issued). Although the owner was quite pleasant and assured me that I could fit in, I knew that this was not the place to make friends. On the other hand, when I met Sarah, the owner of Daisy Press, and she gave me the same assurance, I had no doubt in my mind that I would. After my interview with Sarah, she gave me a brief tour of the office where I got to meet a few of the employees. When I noted to Sarah that I hadn't met any male employees she frankly explained that there were none and that I'd be the first if I were offered and accepted a job. Before I could express my concern that I might be a "token male" to satisfy government regulators, Sarah explained that was not the case. She'd offered jobs in the past but they had never been accepted. But she did admit that her clientele definitely preferred working with other women and she had never been overly disappointed when her job offers were not accepted. I had to ask if she'd be disappointed if I turned her down. I was pleased with her quick and decisive response, "Yes, I'd be very disappointed." With that, Sarah asked if I could come back the next day at 9:00 am for an interview with her key staff members. If all went as well as she expected, I was assured a job and could start immediately that day if I wanted. She did have one request. She asked if I would arrive without my hair in a ponytail. I hadn't cut my hair since I was fourteen and always wore it tied back. At first I thought she was asking me to get a haircut for the interview. But she read the look of concern on my face and said, "If you don't mind, I'm just suggesting that wear it without the ponytail. It'll impress the others if you do." I was so relieved that I didn't think twice about it. The next morning I woke up early, took a nice long bath to relax, and washed my hair. Normally I just leave it damp and put it in its familiar ponytail. But I was quite perplexed but very aware of Sarah's suggestion. I was afraid that if I just let it dry by itself I'd look too unkempt for an interview, so I got out the blow dryer and brush and did the best I could. My best effort made me look more effeminate than I usually do. My closet only contained plain, unisex shirts and pants. I was somewhat disappointed that I hadn't gone shopping the night before for something different for that morning's interview with Sarah's staff. Daisy Press is located in a high rise office building. With my long hair hanging loosely around my face, my walk through the lobby and to the elevator bank resulted in two men actually holding doors open for me. I smiled a bit to my self but accepted their chivalry without a word. Sarah was in the reception area waiting for me to arrive. She greeted me cheerfully, "Kris, right on time and looking perfect. Ready to meet my staff?" The way she said my name I realized for the first time that it too was rather androgynous. I put off considering the cosmic significance of that until later. Sarah took me to a small conference room adjacent to her office. But before that, she asked her receptionist, Carly, if she would do her a favor and bring me a bottle of mineral water. Carly, was no more than 18 and just out of high school and still dressed as such. Even I knew that she shouldn't be wearing a midriff bearing top and low cut jeans to the office accented with three inch slides showing off her blue toe nail polish. "We're working on her fashion sense," Sarah whispered as she swung open the doors to the conference room. There were four impeccably dressed professional women seated around a table. Sarah escorted me to the single remaining chair at the table introduced me and then left. Karen Andrews, Daisy's editor spoke first. "Kris, we were most impressed with your resume and with Sarah's recommendation. So we want this to be more of a 'get to know each other' chat and a time for you to ask us questions about working at Daisy Press and for Sarah." "That's right," chimed in a tall, slender woman wearing a tailored black suit, no blouse, and black sling-backs. "Hi, my name is Gwen Tolerson, the manager of operations here. If you decide to join our little family, I guess that I'd be your boss." There was a faint but audible giggle from one of the two other women at the table. "I'm Angela Rolm and I'm the head of marketing and you'd also be working with me sometimes when we need you design skills." Angela was also in a business suit but one with a cream colored jacket and matching skirt. She wore strappy red sandals that, along with her long blonde hair, gave her a more playful and sexy appearance than the others. Finally, Leah Colbert introduced herself with just a wink, a wave, and a cheerful, "Leah here." Leah, with short black hair, was in a black shift dress, classic black pumps, and black stockings. The single strand of white pearls really completed the look. You'd have never guessed that she was the accountant. The ensuing hour passed in a flash. I never really had much time to ask any detailed questions. I made my decision solely on what nice people these four were. I did at the end, however, finally ask why they were interested in seeing me without a ponytail. All four burst out in laughter. "That was just Sarah seeing how responsive you are to doing things for her and for us," said Angela. "Although, that particular request does have some significance," explained Gwen. "Because almost all of our clients are women and strong feminists, and because quite a few are also lesbians, they are more comfortable only seeing other women working on their account. Because you'll be primarily working in the back office, you won't very often come in contact with any of the clients. However, if one of them should want to see the operations center, Sarah was thinking that they'd just think you were one of 'us girls' if they caught a glimpse of you with your hair down." I was taken back to Sarah's office where each of the women said goodbye and encourage me to accept the job. "Well Kris, I hope you got to know my staff and that they answered all of you questions. I'd love to have you working for me." "I'd love to work here and am ready to start today!" I found myself blurting out without a second thought. "Good! I'll have Carly help you fill out all of the necessary forms and then show you to your office." "I get an office?" I asked. "Certainly, everyone here has an office because sometimes you need some privacy," Sarah answered. As I started to leave her office, I turned and asked, "One question though. Is it important that I keep my androgynous look?" Sarah smiled and said, "For now it will be a career asset to you here as I'm sure the girls have explained. Of course you may want to pay attention whenever we give poor Carly some fashion advice." Chapter 2: The Red Shoe Gambit After I finished with Carly, she took me into the operations center and to a nicely decorated office in the corner. Moments later, two young women, about my age, rushed in to introduce themselves. "Hi, I'm Kelly and this is Katie. We both work for Gwen, so I guess the three of us are going to be her team. Welcome!" They almost looked like twins, wearing identical outfits; pink sleeveless knit tops with a scooped neck that showed off a delicate gold chain necklace, tight fitting jeans, and black kitten heel sandals. "Hi, my name is Kris," I said as I extended my hand. However, they both ignored it and gave me a quick hug instead. "We'll let you get settled and then we can all meet in the conference room to talk and to go over our current projects. Does that sound ok to you, Krissy?" Katie asked. "Sounds fine to me," I said without bothering to correct her because I was used to my older sister always calling me "Krissy." An hour later the three of us met and went over work assignments and got to know each other. I found out that several months ago, they accidentally wore virtually the same outfit to work on a Friday. Ever since, they have been making sure they dress identically every Friday as a kind of "team bonding thing." Gwen originally thought it was a bit childish for the work place, but when she noticed that the productivity seemed to be higher, she started participating herself on the Fridays she didn't have any outside meetings planned. The two of them would take turns on Thursdays selecting the next day's outfit and sending out an email. "We'll add you to the email list just so you are in the loop" they volunteered. The remainder of the day flew by. My only disappointment was that I'd have to wait over the weekend until Monday to come back. I went to work that day with my hair still down, flowing onto my shoulders as it had been for my interview. In fact, the only time in the next month that I put it in a ponytail was on one Friday when Kelly and Katie had theirs styled that way. Actually, they re-styled mine so that it was higher on the back of my head and they added a blue scrunchy to match theirs. I quickly found out that it was much more comfortable wearing it that way. The ponytail no longer tickled the back of my neck and the scrunchy was definitely easier to put on and take off than the rubber bands I'd been using all those years. I was decidedly more productive that day. During that same time, all of the women in the office started to call me "Krissy" because that's what Katie and Kelly called me. Besides, I think they just liked the sound of the alliteration when they referred to the operations team as "Katie, Kelly, Krissy." It was in mid December, about three months into the job, that Gwen came running into the operation center in a panic. Helena Steward, outspoken feminist writer and our biggest client was in the office. She wanted to greet all of the employees and give them each a Christmas gift basket for all of the work we've done for her. We were to assemble in the conference room for a brief ceremony. I volunteered to stay in my office out of sight just in case Ms. Steward would find a male employee upsetting. "That was my first thought too," said Gwen. "But Carly already mentioned that 'Katie, Kelly, Krissy' were in here, hard at work on Helena's latest book." "Well, I'll just try to stand in background like a wall flower," I said. Gwen then said, "Maybe we can help you be more flower-like," as she noticed a suitcase standing in the corner. Whenever Angela was scheduled to make a business trip, she would leave her travel bags in the operations center rather than clutter up her office. Gwen rushed over an unzipped the case. To her relief she found exactly what she wanted to find; Angela's strappy red sandals. I was wearing a nondescript bulky white sweater and black trousers that day. Unfortunately I was also wearing decidedly looking male boots. "Krissy, I promise to make this up to you later, but will you take off those boots and slip these on please?" Katie immediately knew what Gwen was up to and grabbed her purse and pulled out a bottle of cherry red nail polish. How could I refuse? These women had become my best friends. Minutes later both my toes and fingers sported brightly colored nails and I was getting a brief lesson on how to walk in high heels. "We've gone this far so..." Katie pulled out her makeup bag and before I knew it, she'd applied a light blush to my cheeks and a touch of lipstick. I followed all three of them to the conference room where Helena was already waiting. "I'm glad you could break away and join us," she said. I moved to the back of the room and positioned myself next to Angela. Even with high heels on, I was still a half inch shorter than her and not that much taller than the rest. Angela smiled at me and then had to control a giggle when she glanced down and saw me wearing her shoes. "Thank you so much for all of the work that you have done for me over the last year. I've never regretted moving my account to Daisy Press and I'm happy to see that your company is growing," briefly acknowledging my presence in to room with a smile. "I'd like to give each of you a small token of my appreciation." With that Sarah introduced each of us and we were each given a large basket full of cosmetics and other beauty products. "I hope you'll enjoy these and that they help you be as beautiful as all of the work that you do." With that, Helena waved and left the room. With my gift basket in my arms, I walked cautiously back to my office along side my co-workers at my side giggling and encouraging me to "strut my stuff." "That went great!" said Gwen. "Thank you so much for doing that!" "And a special thank you from me," said Sarah, who had followed us. "Helena's account is just too big and too important to take any chances. She left her last publisher on a whim and I have no doubt she'd do it again." "Krissy you were amazing," said Katie and Kelly in tandem. "I said I'd make this up to you," said Gwen. "Let's call it a day and go down to the bar in the building lobby and I'll buy the drinks." "Good idea," said Sarah. "Gwen, take your girls out and put it on your expense account." I was sitting at a corner table in the bar sipping on my first Cosmopolitan before it occurred to me that I still had on Angela's shoes and Katie's makeup. Gwen picked up on my discomfort and assured me, "No one here has a clue, honey." "Your just one of four women out for a good time as far as anyone here knows. In fact, I know you haven't picked up on it, but the rest of us girls know that the cute guy at the bar has been eyeing you since we walked in." "Don't be embarrassed," said Kelly, "he'll never get up enough courage to come over here as long as we're all with you." I suddenly didn't know whether I was relieved or disappointed. Nonetheless, we finished two rounds of drinks and headed back to the office to gather our things and leave for the day. I went to grab my boots that had been shoved into Angela's suitcase. No suitcase! Angela had left for the airport. We all broke out in hysterical laughter as we pictured Angela presenting before a customer in my boots, not knowing that we hadn't replaced her shoes after the meeting with Helena. "Guess you'll have to wear them home tonight," observed Gwen. "Be careful driving, don't get you heel caught." By this point I had become quite accustomed to wearing them so I just smiled and told everyone that this was sure to be a day I would not forget. I picked up my gift basket and headed for the elevator. As I head for the parking garage, one of the security guards insisted on walking me to my car. "I could really get used to this," I thought to myself. Chapter 3: How Buying Nail Polish Remover Leads To A New Wardrobe When I awoke this next morning, I realized that I was still wearing the cherry red nail polish and that I didn't have any thing in my apartment to remove it. I looked through the gift basket, but there was no nail polish remover there either. "Well," I mumbled to myself, "I can either go to work looking like a guy wearing nail polish or looking like a girl wearing nail polish." Remembering how nice I felt yesterday, I opted for the second choice. I figured one of the women at work would have nail polish remover. So I put on another bulky sweater, another pair of black trousers (thinking all of the time that my clothing selection sure was dull and boring), and slipped on the strappy red sandals again. I also remembered to apply a little blush and a hint of lipstick using some of the cosmetics in the gift basket. I was already in the parking garage when I realized that I had forgotten to bring along a spare pair of shoes to change into. I was also prepared for some good natured kidding when I walked into the office. Instead, everyone just greeted me with some variation of "Krissy, you look so nice today." In my office I tried to give my rational to Katie and Kelly why I was still wearing Angela's sandals and makeup. "Oh don't worry about it," said Kelly. "At lunch time we'll run over to the shopping center across the street and get what you need. Angela is due back this afternoon and she might want her heels back." At noon, I was expecting Kelly and Katie to run over to the shopping center and get some nail polish remover and a pair of something for me to wear home. Instead, they came over to me and said, "Let's go shopping girl friend," and the three of us headed out. After we walked pass the drug store where I was sure they had nail polish remover, my two co-workers guided me into one of the malls many shoe stores. We walked to the back of the store where the discount rack was located, noticing on the way that the store only sold women's shoes. I was going to protest, but then it occurred to me that I could hardly shop for men's shoes while still wearing high heels. Kelly selected several pairs and we sat down to try them on. "I really think these low heeled pumps will look cute on you. Try them on," said Katie as she placed the pair at my feet. I took off Angela's and slipped on the slides. "Nice, they feel comfortable," I said. "Good. Now try these on." By the time we were done, I had four pairs of shoes in hand because I couldn't decide which ones I liked best. As we walked to the checkout counter, Katie noticed a display of powder blue sling-backs with three inch heels for sale. She grabbed three pairs, saying "for tomorrow." When we walked back into the office we arrived just as Angela was returning. "Very successful trip! And I didn't even have my lucky red shoes. Maybe they are luckier if you keep them Krissy." I felt myself blushing and told Angela that I had just bought four pairs and that I'd return hers. "No, really. I want you to keep them. Now you have five pairs, a relatively good start!" she assured me. "Actually, make that six pairs," pointed out Katie as she motioned to her shopping bag from the shoe store. "What?" I said. Katie opened the bag and handed a pair of size seven to Kelly and a pair of size nine to me, and held the last pair up for herself. "Tomorrow is Friday and it's my turn to pick the outfit. I think that it is only appropriate that you join in Krissy. After all we are team 'Katie, Kelly, Krissy' aren't we?" I couldn't disagree with the logic. Besides, I was having too much fun being the center of attention for a change. Later, Katie sent out the Thursday email saying she wanted us to wear the blue sling backs along with a matching powder blue knit top, black skirt and stockings. "What?" was my only possible reply. "Not to worry," wrote back Katie. "I know Kelly doesn't have a powder blue top either. But I saw some adorable ones in a window display in the mall this afternoon. We'll just do some more shopping after work. Ok?" I was too dumbfounded to reply. I was also a bit excited at the thought of going shopping with my friends. "You do know that besides the blue top, I don't have a skirt of any kind, not to mention stockings?" I said as we walked across the street after work. "Yeah, we kind of suspected that. Your collection of clothes is pretty, how do I say this politely? Boring." I had to agree that my fashion sense might be as bad as Carly's. "You have to have a fashion sense in the first place before it can be bad," chided Kelly. "Ok, now you've thrown down the proverbial gauntlet," I said. "If I'm smart enough to learn all of the systems at work, I'm smart enough to learn about fashion!" In truth, I'd been watching various style related programming on cable and was curious to see if I'd picked up anything in the process. We headed into store, this time with me in the lead. I found the knit tops that Katie had seen earlier and they were cute. I picked out one with three quarter sleeves that buttoned in the front, with a low neckline that would be tastefully revealing. I handed it to Kelly saying "this will look great on you." She gushed in mock disbelief saying that that was the exact one she would have picked. For myself, I thought a long sleeve pullover with a high neck was more suitable. "Two for two," praised Katie. We moved onto the juniors department to look at skirts. This time I let the other girls take the lead. We each left the department with identical A-line skirts. The next stop was problematic. I didn't know where to start. Just buying stockings was not enough. Because the knit top was tight fitting compared to all of the bulky sweaters in my closet, it would not hide the fact that I wasn't "endowed." Skilled shoppers that they were, Katie and Kelly soon had selected a couple of bra and panty sets as well as a couple of slips and of course several pairs of stockings. "For now we'll just go with thigh highs. We can deal with garter belts when the situation calls for it," said Kelly with a wink. The next stop was at a small jewelry store. They told me to go sit in a chair next to the counter while they picked out some bracelets, a watch, a necklace, and earrings. "Are you ready?" the salesgirl asked. "Ahh, sure. I mean, ready for ..." but before I could complete the sentence, I felt a sting in my left ear and then just as quickly another in my right. "There, all done. That wasn't so bad was it sweety?" I glanced immediately at a nearby mirror and saw that I now had pierced ears, each with a pretty blue zircon stud. "Actually, that wasn't so bad," I replied. Katie and Kelly started to get the giggles and then I did too. The last stop was in a specialty store at the far end of the mall. Katie went in by herself and came out about fifteen minutes later. "We were afraid that we've been overwhelming you today, so I bought these for you by myself." She opened the shopping bag and I peeked in to see that she had purchased a pair of breast forms for me to use. "The instructions on usage are inside the box. We didn't think it was appropriate for you to have to stuff your bra with Kleenex." With that, we all head back to the parking garage under our building, purchases in hand. For the second day in a row, a security guard insisted on escorting me to my car, this time helping carry all of my bags. Chapter 4: Dressing For Success Friday was my last day before taking a week off for Christmas. I didn't have any special plans for my vacation; just stay around my apartment and relax. My sister was my only family and she was spending time with in-laws this year. Because my friends had spent so much time with me yesterday, I got up early to make sure I did everything right to get ready. I didn't want to let them down. Funny thing was, this was the most concerned I'd ever felt about my appearance. I was fully aware that I was about to dress completely as a woman and that no one at work was going to think twice about it. As I said, I'd never been aware of things of a sexual nature. Today I was definitely aware of very feminine feelings. I was feeling happy, excited, anxious, and maybe a little confused all at the same time. First thing was to take a nice long bubble bath. I washed my hair twice and applied a lot of conditioner and let it soak in while I shaved my legs and any place else I thought necessary. After drying off, I took everything out of my gift basket from Helena and set them out on my bathroom counter. My first concern was a chip in my nail polish and the realization that I still didn't have any remover. The good news was that I was now the owner of a decent collection of bottles of nail polish courtesy of one of our clients. I found a color that was a close match and re-did my nails. I was a little shaky using my left hand to apply polish on my right, but I did a decent job for my first try. The previous evening, I had spent time searching the Internet for information about the proper application of makeup. I was perhaps over- prepared. I had so many different ideas on what I wanted to try, that I was briefly stopped in my tracks by all of the cosmetic choices laid out before me. I closed my eyes and envisioned the women at work and decided to use them as role models. So after applying a light foundation, I just went with a little blush, mascara, dark grey eye shadow and a touch of pink lipstick. Just after I put down the lipstick I realized that I'd probably made a tactical mistake. I should have at least put on my knit top first to avoid smudging my face and getting makeup on my clothing. I collected my thoughts and decided I'd better confront the breast forms next. Katie had purchased the type that needs to be attached using an adhesive. I meticulously followed the included instructions. When I was finished, I was quite happy and proud of the results. I couldn't wait to see how a bra look cradling them. Because I was going to be wearing a light colored knit top, I opened up the bra and panty set that consisted of lovely white lace lingerie. I was not at all disappointed when I saw how nicely the bra looked when filled out by my breasts. The tan colored stockings I selected felt as wonderful as I had imagined when I gently pulled them over my smoothly shaven legs. Next I put on a lacy black slip and then the skirt. Now all I had to do was get the knit top on. It was a slow process, but I eventually eased it over my head without stretching the neckline our ruining my makeup. I went back into the bathroom to try to do something different with my hair. That was when I got the first glimpse of myself fully dressed in the mirror. It was an astounding experience. I both recognized and didn't recognize the person in the mirror, both feelings at the same time. But I sure liked what I saw. I'd wanted a changed in my life and this was certainly a change. And a good one so far. The conditioner had made my hair fuller than ever. I tried to blow dry it and style it into the most feminine look I could muster. By all accounts, I did a pretty good job. Back in my bedroom, I slipped on the powder blue sling-backs and took several practice walks around the apartment until I felt confident. I took a deep breath, picked up my car keys, headed for the door and then remembered that I should bring along my lipstick, brush, and a few other things in case I needed to "freshen up." I went to put them in my backpack and thought that didn't seem right. I needed a purse and I didn't have one yet. I looked at my watch (at least I had an inexpensive women's watch from the jewelry store) and I was early. I had time to stop at the Target on the way to work. I pulled into the store parking lot, confidently walked into the store, found a nice black clutch and remembered to pick up some nail polish remover. I also decide to buy a couple more pairs of stockings to put in my desk just in case I put a run in these. I went to the check out line and handed my purchases to the clerk, a teenage male. When he routinely asked if I found everything I needed, I froze. It just occurred to me that I hadn't spoken directly to anyone as a woman. I had just smiled and whispered a word here and there. Katie and Kelly had handled all interactions with sales people the day before. I'm sure my hesitation wasn't as long as I thought, but I did finally get my composure and say "Yes, thank you for asking," avoiding at all costs a falsetto but trying to stay in the upper register of my voice. "That'll need some work," I resolved to myself. But it was good enough at that moment. While driving the rest of the way into work, I practiced aloud, trying to mimic the female announcer on the radio station I had on. When I got to the parking garage, I emptied the contents of my backpack into my purse, stepped out of the car (I needed to work on getting out gracefully and added that to my list of things to practice), and walked to the lobby. I didn't have to touch a door all the way to the office, encountering one nice gentleman after another. The reaction to my appearance at work was everything I could have hopped for. My timing had been perfect. I stepped out of the elevator just as Kelly and Katie were about to enter. They turned, saw me and squealed. Instead of the usual Friday "twins" at the office, today there were "triplets." The three of us walked into the office arm in arm. Carly stood up put her hands over her mouth, gasped and then started to clap. Team "Katie, Kelly, Krissy," were topic of the day. I can't say it was the most productive day in the company's history, but to date, it was the most memorable. Chapter 5: Am I Going Too Fast? As soon as I got home that afternoon I hit the Internet for some online shopping. Before I left work Sarah had handed me an unexpected Christmas bonus check. "I'd love to see you spend this on yourself. Surprise me when you return from vacation." Before the evening was over, I had spent the whole bonus and a little bit more on dresses, blouses, skirts, slacks, lingerie, and more shoes. I impatiently placed all of my orders for overnight shipping. Saturday morning I woke up early. I figured all of my purchases couldn't possibly arrive until later in the day, so I took the opportunity to go out for a short walk. Wearing my only skirt and heels wasn't going to work, so I had to put on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. However, with my new found figure to fill out the shirt, I didn't look too bad. I slipped on my low heeled black pumps after a quick makeup application and headed out, remembering to grab my purse as I shut the door. Across the street from my apartment house is a small strip mall. I headed over there for a little window shopping. As I walked pass a beauty salon in the middle of the mall, I paused and noticed that it was empty except for one woman who I assumed was the owner. As I looked at my reflection in the window, she waved at me to come in. My first thought was to run away, but I gave into my second thought, which was to be adventuresome. I opened the store door, peeked in, and then committed myself to enter all of the way. "I'm not busy today. I can take walk-ins. My first appointment isn't for another two hours," the woman, Cindy, according to the name stitched into her smock, said. "Hi, I'm Kristen and was thinking it was about time to do something about my hair style when I saw your shop," I told her. I thought "Kristen," sounded better, only the girls at work called me "Krissy." "Oh honey, you really do need some work on that mop." she laughed. "What do you think we should do with it?" I asked. "Shampoo, color, cut, maybe even a perm. I've got plenty of style books here. Let's find something that will look adorable on you for the holidays." To this day I don't know if Cindy had me figured out. But she certainly figured out what I needed. I spent the next two hours chatting and gossiping with her. I learned more about my neighbors in those two hours than I had learned in the previous four years. When she had finished with me, I couldn't believe the difference. My hair was now layered to my shoulders, much lighter with highlights, wavy, bouncy, and thick. I couldn't resist running my fingers through it and tossing it around, only to have it fall perfectly back in place. "Do you think your boy friend will love this look?" she said inquisitively. "No boy friend yet," I said. I hadn't gotten around to thinking about finding a companion. I was just happy that I finally had friends. But after she asked, I did start to think about it. Girl friend? Boy friend? Which? When my next thought was of the cute guy that checked me out in the bar, I think I knew what the answer could be. Back in my apartment, I patiently awaited my shipment. While some women may frequently complain that they "don't have anything to wear," I was certainly in that situation. I only had the one outfit that I'd worn the day before. I suppose I could have gone out to mall and shopped in person by myself. But that experience would come later, after I mastered my voice. For now I just had to wait. Until 7:00 pm when the door bell finally rang. Christmas arrived early that day. I treated every package as a present to me. When I was done opening everything, my living room was a sea of beautiful colors and textures. I couldn't bring myself to put them into closets and drawers until the next day. I spent all day Sunday purging my closets of boring and drab clothes and doing a little redecorating to make my apartment reflect the new me. It really had only been a few days since this whole transformation had started. I was afraid that I'd wake up the next day with horrible regrets: that I'd blown my entire bonus on women's clothing, only to realize that I had just been on a temporary high from all of the attention I was getting. But Monday came, and I felt better about myself than ever. No, this was going to be a permanent change in how I approached life. That afternoon I changed into a dress for the first time. It was similar to the one that our accountant, Leah, had been wearing the day I had my interview, only dressier. It was my first "little black dress." Black stockings, classic black pumps, and a gold chain necklace made me feel very sexy. Too sexy to stay in my apartment. Besides, I thought I'd look even better if I was sipping on a Cosmopolitan. I headed over to the bar in the lobby of our office building. When I got there, I sat at the same table in the corner and ordered my drink. I then noticed that the same cute guy was at the bar. "He must work in the building too," I thought. Truthfully, I hadn't thought this would happen. I just wanted to show off my new dress and try out a few flirtatious looks. He was looking at me, so I smiled and winked. Not very subtle, one more thing I needed to practice. Without the other girls around, he stood up, walked over to my table, and asked if I would mind if he joined me. After winking at him, I could hardly say no. "Please, do sit down," I said. "My name is Chad, and your are?" "Kristen," I said as softly as possible. "I've seen you before. Do you work nearby?" he asked. "Yes, for Daisy Press, in this building." Whoops, too much information. Another item for my list of things to practice. "Right, I remember. Last week I saw you with a couple of the women who work there. But you had a much more casual look. Are you dressed up for a date? Am I intruding?" "No, no," I said, "I'm going to a museum opening later on and wanted to be a little less casual than usual." I made that up, but it sounded plausible and like something a sophisticated woman might do alone. "You know, when I saw you last week, even then I thought we'd met before," he said. I suddenly became flushed. He was right. We had met before. Chad was the guy that had interviewed me for the job at the sports memorabilia company. I needed to change the subject and picked up on his earlier comment. "You mentioned that you recognized some of the women from Daisy Press," I said. "Do you know the company?" I asked. "Sarah's company has occasionally done some web work for us. We've also had a personal relationship." "Oh, this is great," I thought, I'm being hit on by a guy that has met me as a male and who has dated my boss. Could this get any worse? To my relief, it got better. A lot better. "For awhile, I dated Sarah's younger sister. When I hired her away from Sarah we stopped dating. But the three of us are good friends and still get together every now and then." "Does she still work for you?" "Oh yes. She is my top salesperson." She must have been one of the attractive women I saw during my interview. But the strange thing was, I thought Sarah only had a younger brother. In fact, she once mentioned that they had started the company together along with Angela and Gwen. "I hate to run, but I'd better get going." I said. "It was so nice to meet you and I'll say hi to Sarah for you." "I know this sounds trite, but do you come here often? I'd like to talk when you have more time. I'm going out of town for Christmas, but I would make a point of being here on Wednesday if I thought you might stop by." I didn't promise, buy I hinted that there was a slight chance I might stop by if I was in the area. I really did want to meet again, but needed some time to get my thoughts together. On the way back to my car, I ran into Gwen. At first she walked right past me. Then she stopped, turned and asked "Krissy?" She walked back to me, looked carefully at my new hair style, my dress, and then gave me a long hug. Hugs are always nice, especially from your boss. "What are you doing down here? You can't stay away for even a day? And by the way, you look absolutely gorgeous!" I told her about my online shopping spree, my visit to the hair salon, and then my need to get out of my apartment (picking the lobby bar as someplace familiar and safe). I then told her about my chat with Chad. Gwen just kind of silently stared at me, but I could tell she was thinking hard about something. "Let's go across the street to the coffee shop. We need to have a, let's call it a mother-daughter talk." As Gwen talked, I learned that I was indeed right; Sarah did have a younger brother. But Chad was also right. She also has a younger sister. They were one and the same. Sarah had been very protective of her brother. Early on he had confided to her that he wanted to be her sister. After their parents retired and moved away, she took care of him. When they started the company, everybody was aware that her brother was going to become "Becky." Chad was also aware of this when he first met her. Eventually, he became more and more attracted to her. They began to date. Chad was a very good first boy friend for Becky. After Becky had completely transitioned into a woman, Sarah and her thought it was time for her to venture out on her own. Chad had been up front that he was attracted to her more before her surgery. But by then, they had also become friends and Chad really respected her business acumen. So she went to work for him. Sarah was happy that her little sister was happy. Chad was happy too. "Sarah has great empathy for anyone that reminds her of her sister. She has a sixth sense about the kind of person that will flourish at a company like ours. Looking at the lovely young woman seated across from me, I can see that that sixth sense is working just fine." I felt a little tear forming and could see that Gwen's eyes were getting moist. Gwen then continued, "You haven't been with us very long, and there is much that we can help you with. You are a skilled worker; we will help you become a skilled woman if you want." I started to cry. Gwen handed me a tissue and I rubbed my eyes. "No dear, pat, don't rub. You've smeared your mascara." We both laughed and I made a quick trip to the ladies room to fix my makeup (I almost turned into the men's room by mistake, which would have caused quite a stir). "I think you should show up at the bar on Wednesday," Gwen said to my surprise. "Chad is very instinctive and smart. He'll put all of the pieces together and figure everything out. He'll treat you with respect and just like a woman. Just don't plan a future with him if you plan to take this a far as Becky," she cautioned. "But, between now and then, have fun experimenting with different looks. I'll tell Sarah about our talk. Knowing her, she'll be anxiously waiting by the office door next Monday to see what you look like." Chapter 6: I Start Exploring My Sexuality By noon on Wednesday, I was getting pretty good with putting on makeup and walking in high heels. In fact, I needed to buy some additional supplies because I was going through the free cosmetics in the basket very fast. By that time it was also a foregone conclusion that I was going back to the lobby bar and I was hoping that Chad would be there too. This time I wasn't going to dress so sexy. I wanted a professional, holiday season, come hither look; all in one. I picked out a dark beige cashmere sweater, a bronze satin skirt, sheer nude stockings, and dark brown d'Orsay pumps. I was more dramatic with my makeup, using a shimmering gold eye shadow, and Bordeaux colored, matte lipstick (and matching nail polish, of course). I walked into the bar and immediately spotted Chad sitting right by the entrance. His big smile told me that I'd achieved the look I was after. He pointed to a table in back and offered me his arm and I slipped my left hand around his elbow and squeezed tight. He pulled the chair out for me and I demurely sat down and delicately crossed my legs. The grin on his face had no end. He called for the waitress, "I'll have a scotch and soda and the lady will have a Cosmopolitan, please," as he put his hand on top of mine. He then gently caressed my hand, rubbing the tops of my polished nails. "Thank you for coming. You look lovely, very lovely." I started to blush. I had to assume that since Monday he'd talked to Sarah, but I wasn't sure. I'd only been wearing panties for six days and I wasn't about to let him into them until I was sure he'd like what he found. After the drinks came, he took one sip and then reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a couple of sheets of paper and laid them on the table. He continued to caress my hand, but didn't say a thing. I glanced down. There was my resume. The one I'd submitted to his company months ago. "Hmmm, I see you are as smart as Gwen said you were." "And as I recall, I told you the same thing during our interview. Only now you are smart and beautiful. And better yet, I think we know enough about each other that we can skip pass this introductory meeting. May I take you out to diner and a play instead?" "I'd be delighted," I said, as I briefly brushed the vamp of my pump along the inside of his ankle. He took me to a quaint French restaurant near the theatre where we talked about the weather, computers, and eventually some politics. His opinions were a bit too conservative for my tastes, but I was too fixated on how cute he was to pay much attention. After we finished off the bottle of cabernet we had ordered with diner, we walked the two blocks to the theatre. Chad had tickets for Les Miserables. It had been touring endlessly for years, yet somehow I had missed seeing it. We took our seats and the lights dimmed. As the music poured over us, we held hands. During the sad parts, I'd rest my head on his shoulder and cry. The wine and the play were releasing pent up emotions. By intermission, I had something else pent up due to the wine. I asked Chad to point me towards the ladies room. In an adjacent corridor, there was the empty men's room and the ladies room with a long line of women snaking around the corner. I sighed and went to the end of the line. By the time I got to the door, the intermission was nearly over; the house lights were blinking. "This is so unfair," I said under my breath but loud enough for the woman in front of me to hear. "You'd think we'd get used to it. I've spent too much time standing in line when I should have been enjoying the play or game I paid for. Stupid male architects!" All of the women with ear range were nodding in agreement. A moment later I finally had an empty stall. I quickly lifted my skirt and pulled down my panties; and not a moment too soon. After peeing, I turned my haven over to the next girl in line; I could hear that the overture for the next act had started. Still, I paused long enough to check my makeup in the mirror and to replace the lipstick that I had apparently left on my wine glass earlier. Outside of the ladies room, Chad was patiently waiting for me. "I'm sorry that took so long. With the French diner, French wine, and French play, I should have done what they do in France and just used the men's room." Chad leaned in and whispered "you could have done that anyway, Kristen." We looked at each other amusedly; he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and escorted my back to our seats in the now darkened theatre. Afterwards, we took a long walk back to his car through a nearby park; Chad's arm secured around my waist. We paused several times to admire the city lights. The third time we stopped, there was another couple seated on a nearby bench kissing. I turned and faced Chad, put both arms around his neck, looked into his eyes for a moment and then closed mine and brushed my lips against his. He pulled my tightly to him and we kissed for several long, passionate seconds. "That was very nice." I sighed. "Very nice indeed," he said. We kissed again. And then for a third time. Finally, we continued our walk to the car. When Chad started the engine I noticed the time on the dashboard clock. "My goodness! The parking garage where I left my car will be closed this time of night." "I can drive you back to your place," he said. "That's such a bother, I live outside the city." "No bother at all. But then you'd have to still somehow get back into the city tomorrow to get your car." "I'd have to call a cab," I thought out loud. "Perhaps the best solution is for you to just stay at my condo. It's only a block from your office building." "Hmmm, that would be the best solution," I said. "I don't have a guest room. You'd have to sleep with me," he said. "But then again, I don't have a nightgown with me." "I have a feeling that lack of clothing isn't going to be an issue for me," he laughed. "I'm not exactly playing hard to get, am I?" I asked. "You did make me wait since Monday." Chad's condo had a romantic view of the city. I stood on his patio while he poured us each a warm brandy. We each took a sip to relax and then resumed the kissing we had started in the park. This time his kisses were more intense and forceful. I parted my lips and let his tongue enter. I returned his probes with my own. We pressed our bodies together tightly and he lifted me slightly. I raised one foot off the ground, lifting my leg behind me. The way he turned his head, I knew he was staring down at my lifted foot. Throughout the play I noticed that he was spending about as much time looking at my foot as he was the stage. Every time I crossed my legs and let my pump dangle from my toes, I caught him watching. From the moment a put on Angela's strappy red sandals, I knew that I was going to be the type of girl who had a shoe fetish. Why not share that with a guy who had one too? I took Chad's hand and led him over to a couch. I sat next to him and threw my legs over his lap. "I've been in these heels since noon. Do you mind giving me a little massage?" I asked. Chad smiled and slowly removed one shoe; gently stroking an exposed instep first. Then he ran his fingers over the edge of the vamp of the other shoe, playing with the little "toe cleavage," I was showing (my only natural cleavage at that point in my life). He slipped the shoe off and lifted my foot to his lips. He gently kissed my toes first, then my instep, and finally my heel. Then he tasted my toes through their nylon encasement. "I'll bet these taste even better without the stocking on," he said. I pulled the hem of my skirt up until I had exposed the lacy top of my stocking. Chad caressed my thigh and then kissed my leg from my ankle up to the top of my stocking. I desperately want his kisses to go even father, but he stopped there and then gently rolled the stocking down my smooth leg, kissing the exposed flesh all the back down to my toes. Chad spent five minutes driving me crazy with his sensuous sucking of my toes. I then begged him to do the same to my other foot, wiggling it in his face. "Delighted," he said as he turned his attention to it. I could feel my panties getting moist from the pre-cum from my swelling "clit." I stood up and without a word, walked as sexy as I could to the bedroom, turning at the door to make sure Chad was following. As he pulled the covers back on the bed I asked him if he wanted to undress me or watch me strip. "Please strip down to your bra and panties," he asked. I slowly gathered the bottom of my sweater and pulled it off, over my head. I shook my head and let my mussed hair fall back into place. I reached behind, unzipped my skirt and let it fall to my feet. I tossed it into a corner of the room with a flick of my foot. I then turn my back to Chad and slowly, very slowly, removed my slip. I turned and knelt on the edge of the bed. I could see him looking down eagerly between my legs. My wet, white lace panties were not hiding anything. "Come over here and take my clothes off," he said. I purred "Gladly," and crawled over to him. I kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt. He sat up and let me take it off of him. I ran my soft hands all over his hard chest. He was more muscular and stronger than I had expected. I slipped his shoes and socks off and then turned my attention to the last impediment to my desire. I could see a huge bulge already pressing against the zipper of his pants. I tentatively placed my hand on him and felt his hardness. I slowly undid the zipper and pulled down his pants and tossed them into the same corner as my skirt. I stopped for a moment and lay next to him in our underwear and exchanged passionate kisses. He guided my hand back to his bulge. He released his hand and then put it directly onto my bulging panties. He stroked me though my lacy lingerie. I copied him stroke for stroke. As our tongues darted in and out of each others mouths, he slipped his hand down my panties and touched me. A shiver ran down my spine. I reached into his and wrapped my hand around his swollen cock. He moaned. I sat up and yanked his shorts off so I could see it. It was magnificent. I've never wanted anything so badly. I fell onto my back, lifted my legs, and quickly removed my panties; then jumped on top of Chad so I could rub my hard "clit," against his throbbing cock. I rhythmically ground myself against him. We then each started to stroke each other again. I felt that I could come at any minute when Chad said, "Slow down girl. Let's really enjoy this. I know this is your first time and I want it to be special." "Tell me what to do. I want you to teach me how to please you." "Correction. How to please each other," he said. With that he kissed me and then guided my mouth towards his huge cock. "We'll start with you learning about giving a blowjob. I want you to start by kissing my dick and getting familiar with it." I moistened my lips and then let his cock touch my mouth for the first time. I gave it soft gentle kisses, starting at the tip. When I reached his balls he told me to use my tongue and lick every placed I'd just kissed. "Open your mouth now and let me push my dick in," he said. I felt a tingling in my own "clit" when I tasted him. He slowly pushed his cock deeper and deeper into my hot mouth. When he sensed that I was beginning to gag on it, he pulled back; but then thrust it back in with more force than the first time; then again, and again, faster and harder with each thrust. I reached down a played with myself. He stopped and told me to do the same thing but this time I'd thrust my mouth onto him while he lay down on his back. I held his cock in my hand, stroked it a couple of times with the wetness from my own erection, and then proceeded to explore every inch of him with my mouth. I could see traces of my lipstick all over his dick which only made me more excited. "Now its time to return the favor," he said. "Keeping sucking on me while you position your cock so I can suck on you," he instructed. I knew this was called the 69 position and I couldn't wait to feel his mouth take me in. We quickly got into a sensuous rhythm. For every deep penetration into his mouth, I took him deep into mine. When he was as hard as I had ever felt him, he said, "It's time for you to become a true woman." It was the moment I had been waiting for since I first walked into the bar in high heels, giddy with success. I rolled over onto my back and spread my legs. He grabbed each ankle (he couldn't resist giving my toes a little more attention first), and positioned his cock at the entrance to my love hole. He let me get used to the tip of his cock pressing against me before he pushed hard with a long single thrust. He paused with his manhood inside me, to let me savor the moment; my first penetration, my first feeling of having a man inside me. He then started the same, slowly increasing with intensity, thrusts that he had given my mouth. Each thrust was harder, faster, and deeper than the last. I started to moan; quietly at first; then louder and louder with each penetration. "Yes, yes, yes, yes." "Oh please don't stop." "Harder, harder." I started to gyrate my hips, trying to take him in as deeply as I could; trying to give him as much pleasure as he was giving me. "Fuck me baby, fuck me hard," I kept saying over and over again. His pace increased and I could hear his balls slapping against my ass. His sweat was dripping on me as he strained and worked his cock in and out of my love hole. I was furiously stroking my "clit," until I felt I could explode. "I'm going to cum; I'm going to cum, make me cum!" I screamed. Chad kept fucking me. My "clit," exploded with my hot love; all over my tummy and onto my bra. Chad didn't miss a stroke, he kept fucking my hole, harder than ever. I rubbed my cum all over me and then licked my cum drenched fingers. The cum on my lips made my lipstick shimmer in the light. The site of that drove Chad wild. He forced his tongue deep into my mouth, and then with a half dozen deep penetrating thrusts, filled me with his hot, sticky love juice. The warmth of his cum inside me made me shudder with pleasure. He left his cock inside of me for a long time as we kissed and hugged. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I couldn't stop saying it. We fell asleep still holding onto each other. In the morning, I woke before Chad and dressed. I didn't shower because I wanted the smell of him to remain on me forever (at least for the rest of the day). I made him breakfast and woke him with a kiss. He wanted to walk me to my car even though he had a flight to catch (he was heading back east for Christmas). But I wanted to take a solitary stroll, hear my heels clicking on the pavement, and reflect on my new life. Chapter 7: Bad Memories Saturday was Christmas. I woke up when I heard the door bell ring and someone yell out a very girlish "Ho, Ho, Ho." When I opened the door I found several festively wrapped presents sitting there, all with tags saying from Santa to Krissy. I brought them in and put them under my tree. I made myself a cup of tea before sitting on the floor to open them. I was wearing my Christmas present from myself; a long red silk nightgown with a lace bed jacket. When I'd opened everything except the largest box, I had a delightful collection of bath oils and perfumes from the girls at work. The last box was from Katie and Kelly. I shrieked with delight when I discovered it was a Barbie Playhouse, several Barbie dolls and outfits galore. I took a luxurious bubble bath and then played with my Barbies the rest of the day. Sunday morning I woke up and walked out to my living room and stared at all of my wonderful and thoughtful gifts from my friends. But when I saw my Barbies dressed so pretty and all lined up as if they were about to have a fashion show, I suddenly broke into tears. Uncontrollable crying, collapsing onto the floor. I couldn't get control of my emotions. Something was terribly wrong. Every time I glanced at the simple child's toy, a girl's toy, I'd be thrown into a panic. After what seemed like an eternity I gathered some semblance of control and moved to my kitchen and made myself some tea. As if some cosmic force was at work, my phone rang. My sister Megan was calling me. "Merry belated Christmas Krissy!" All I said was, "Hi sis, thank you so much for calling," and she immediately sensed something was wrong. "Kris, you sound terrible, almost like you've been crying. Is everything ok? Is it your new job? Did you get laid off again?" "No no," I told her I had never been better and that work was great. Oddly, I added that work was too great. My dear big sister just said "tell me all about it, I'm listening." With that I told her everything. Everything up to the moment the sight of a few Barbie dolls started an emotional breakdown. When I told Megan about that her voice started to tremble "oh no no no, not again." After a long pause to collect herself, she told me she had just arrived at the airport with two of her old college friends for a New Years girl's outing. But she was now going catch a cab and be at my place within the hour. I wasn't to do anything except put another pot of tea on and maybe some makeup if I felt the need. Forty minutes later Megan was ringing my doorbell. I had the pot of tea ready. I had made myself presentable (although my eyes were still puffy and red despite the concealer I put on). I took several deep breaths to try to calm my churning stomach. I opened the door. I didn't now what to expect, but I know I didn't expect Megan to say, "Finally, you look right," and then smiled and hugged me for several minutes before wiping a tear from her eye. For the next couple of hours we talked about my clothes, makeup, hair and eventually boys (well the only one boy I had experienced). Basically exploring our new sister to sister relationship. Finally Megan said, "Time to talk about your breakdown this morning." It was then that I started to remember that this was not the first time we had a sister to sister relationship. I think they call it repressed memory. Not sure I believed that was a thing until my sister started talking about events from my early childhood. Images flashed in my head. A lot of them were not pleasant. Megan was telling me how I loved to play dress up with her and how she and I would pretend to be fairy princesses. That I was the one who insisted that Megan call me Krissy. That when I was at pre-school I told everyone I was a girl. And that one day while we were in Megan's room playing with her Barbies, our father came in and ripped the Cinderella dress I was wearing and started beating me with one of the dolls. I ended up in the hospital in a comma. I had grown up knowing that mom had divorced our father but she never talked about it. Megan had known why but was afraid to say anything for fear of hurting me, her once little sister. Now it was all out in the open. I was going to have to reevaluate a lot of my past, probably with some professional help. But for the moment, I had the sense that my crying that morning was about the realization that I was not a real woman. Not a real woman yet! Maybe someone tried to beat it out of me once, but not this time! Chapter 8: My First Circle of Girlfriends It was a good thing I had taken the whole week off between Christmas and New Years. It gave me the chance to spend time with Megan. I had insisted that she stay with me. But she had planned to share a hotel room with her friends and she didn't want them to feel abandoned. Of course she didn't want me to feel abandoned either. So in a stroke of brilliance I volunteered to have all three stay with me. Then I immediately panicked when I realized that I was about to come out as transgendered to two total strangers. That I was venturing out beyond the nurturing environs of Daisy Press. Megan picked up on my distressed expression and assured me her friends would be accepting. "Besides, they were getting free board for the week and extra money for shopping. They might even insist on buying you a pair of heels since you seem to need lots of them for work" she giggled. I straightened up my spare bedroom and made the bed in there for the first time ever. Megan said her friends would sleep there and she would stay with me. I had a queen size bed, so no problem there. But I was concerned that the spare bed was too small to sleep two women and I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. Megan laughed a bit and then told me her two friends (her former roommates) were engaged - to each other. Intimate sleeping arrangements were going to be just fine. And sensing that I was about to ask a personal question, she said, "No, I was only into boys in college." I wanted to make a clever retort but since I wasn't into either sex in college, I drew a blank. Megan said, "Well at least you've discovered your gender preference. Maybe we can help you discover your sexual preference before we leave since I know men and my friends know women." While we waited for Megan's friends, Beth and Jen to arrive, I decided I needed to make a call to Sarah. I told Sarah about my gender revelation, minus some of the more unsettling parts. I wanted to ask her if her sister Becky would be willing to meet with me and give me some direction. I knew what I wanted but not how to do it. I think Sarah was happy to hear from me and if anything I felt that at that moment she'd adopted me. It was nice to have a mom again. Less than ten minutes after hanging up, I had a call from Becky. We arranged to meet for coffee the next morning. After Beth and Jen arrived with all their's and Megan's luggage (she had rushed to my apartment and left her friends holding her proverbial bags) we exchanged introductions and got everybody settled in. Beth and Jen were delightful, Megan was right about them. During a quick lunch we threw together, they decided I needed to be "officially" inducted into the LGBTQ community. And since they were representatives of the "L" faction they were authorized to perform the ceremony. But in all seriousness they told me they were there to support me and to encourage me to true to myself and not to let anyone put me down. That evening Beth and Jen went out to a local lesbian bar. They invited me to come along, calling it a sexual preference field trip. But I demurred in order to spend more time with my big sister. Later I discovered how thin my apartment walls were. Around 2am I woke up to the sounds of Beth and Jen enjoying their intimate accommodations. I gathered that they were giving each other as much pleasure as Chad had given me. Maybe more. Maybe I should have gone to the lesbian bar after all! Chapter 9: I Have A Date! The next morning Megan helped get ready for my meeting with Becky. I guess most of my outfits were too dressy and my makeup needed to be toned down for a casual outing. I didn't have a decent pair of jeans or a pair a flats. Fortunately with three women staying with me, I borrowed a few things and then let Megan show me how to just wear a light foundation and some lipgloss. The one thing they couldn't help with was making the jeans (courteous of Jen) fit right. Thanks to the Internet, three bemused women and one fledgling trans woman figured out how to tuck away the problem. I was really quite happy with the outcome. I left the apartment wearing skinny jeans (with some padding), a pink tee layered under a cream sweater, and the cutest ever ballet flats that Megan said I could keep (not that I intended to give them back). I walked almost a mile to the coffee shop without once worrying about getting a strange look. This really was my first time out with the general public. Being with my coworkers or sales clerks or even a hairdresser, all of whom were likely aware I was not born a girl, was wonderful. But that was not the same as the exhilaration of that simple walk. It was my happiest memory to date. When I got to the coffee shop I realized I didn't know what Becky looked like. There were at least four young women sitting alone at the shop. If I had any thought that I could pick out the one the used to be a boy, it was quickly lost. One did however look like a younger Sarah. Same eyes and hair color. I made eye contact and she smiled and waved me over. "Sarah texted me a picture of you from work but you look so much younger. Hi I'm Becky and you have to be Kristen." I smiled and decided that I loved being called Kristen. I explained how my sister wouldn't let me out of the apartment unless I dressed more casually. Becky laughed and told me that Sarah used to do exactly the same thing to her and how lucky I was to have a big sister to help me. But equally important, I was about to gain new friend to help me with my new life. Our coffee meeting turned into an all day affair. I even got to meet a friend of Becky. Becky had arranged for me to meet with her doctor. This was quite out of the ordinary but it seems that Becky and Sarah move in some pretty high powered circles. I left that meeting confident that I was on the path to a diagnosis of gender disphoria and HRT. By the end of the day I had a best friend that I could confide in and also a little bit of a crush (did I mention that Becky was drop dead gorgeous). I also had a "date" for New Years Eve! Becky had season tickets to the opera and on New Years Eve they held a gala after the performance. Normally she went with her sister but Sarah was hosting a party herself this year. While I like classical music, l had never been to an opera before. So I was going to get to be like either Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or Cher in Moonstruck. Which meant I needed an appropriate gown for the evening. When I told Megan, Beth, and Jen, they gasped and started making plans for an all day shopping excursion the next day. I lost count of how many stores we went to, let alone how many dresses I tried on that day. Finally there was a consensus amongst all four of us. I bought a beautiful full length teal blue gown with an empire waist and shoulder straps. I tried on some strapless dresses but I decided to wait and buy one as soon as I had real boobs. I couldn't wait until New Years Eve! Bye the way, Beth and Jen did buy me a my first pair of Chistian Louboutins (So Kate in navy blue). Chapter 10: The Princess Experience Needless to say, I was really excited about going to an elegant gala just like a real princess. Make that a fairy princess! The thought gave me a certain satisfaction. If I had any idea where my father was, I might have been tempted to send him a photo in my gorgeous gown and heels. But as soon as the thought entered my head, it left even faster. It was the last time my childhood trauma and perpetrator would ever come to mind. However, I was beginning to panic about all of the preparations required to be a princess, even for just one evening. I had to get my hair done, my nails done (which I now know to say mani/pedi), a facial (with my big sis, lots of fun), and break in my new heels. They had a higher heel than anything I had worn before. I would have just put them on New Years Eve, fresh out of the box. Thank goodness Megan clued me in or I would have end up a princess with huge blisters. So while strutting around my apartment in heels, I made use of the time listening to excerpts from "Le Nozze di Figaro," the opera Becky said we were going to see. I guess I wanted to impress Becky or at least not be totally clueless (I was happy to find out that the soprano doesn't die in this one so I didn't have to worry about crying and ruining my makeup). New Years Eve, Becky arrived at my apartment in a limo. The driver escorted me down after Megan gave me a long hug and wiped several tears away. Becky was simply stunning. She was wearing a strapless black dress with a lace bodice. Her hair was in a chignon. Flawless makeup highlighted by deep red matte lips. I couldn't take my eyes off her during the entire ride to the opera house. I was hoping I wasn't making her uncomfortable, but when we exited the limo, she put her arm around my waist and said, "Come on gorgeous, let's have a memorable evening," and gently brushed her lips on my cheek. I loved the opera! Of course having Becky hold my hand through most of the performance added to the enjoyment. At one point I needed to slip a shoe off and let it dangle on my toes. Becky was wearing delicate sandals. She discreetly massaged my exposed instep with her toes. I had had so many new experiences and feelings in such a short time, but what I was feeling at that moment was different than anything preceding it. Afterwards, at the reception while sipping champagne, we quietly talked while gazing at so many beautifully dressed people, commenting on both men and women. It was obvious the Becky was much more cognizant of the other women. In our short friendship, I hadn't yet asked about her relationship with Chad. Nor had she asked about mine. So I, asked. "Growing up, I was always attracted to girls. But when I realized I was trans, I questioned whether that attraction was due to my attraction to femininity. During my transition, I met Chad who, as you know, well you know. I fully admit that his attention and in his way, love, made me feel confident in being the woman I needed to be. Chad is a really great person. He supported and helped me during my recovery from GCS. He remains one of my closest friends. Afterwards, my feeling of completeness gave me the confidence, coupled with the knowledge that I can be loved for who I am, to explore a relationship with another woman. And by woman, I don't distinguish between cis and trans. We are all just women." I didn't quite know what to say, but she said it for me. "Your life experiences are different from mine. You've only just begun your transition after an incomprehensibly short time. But I am here for you. You want to ask if I'm involved with anyone. I've had a few girlfriends but nothing serious. And, yes, I know we are friends, but I am attracted to you. Sorry, but that's the way it is." I was momentarily speechless. But as luck would have it, the count down to New Years had begun. Under my breath I gasped, "Oh Becky!" and immediately wrapped my arms around her and kissed her waiting red lips, thinking, "So this is what it's like to be a princess." Chapter 11: My Sexual Exploration Continues As much as we wanted to make love, it was late and we were exhausted. Besides, it was just our first date. So we immediately made a second date. Dinner at Becky's place, in two days. I spent New Years Day with my girlfriends. It was Megan, Beth, and Jen's last day in town and we spent the entire day in our nighties, sipping mimosas and wine, and doing each others hair. Ok, they mostly did mine but I did learn how to put my hair in a chignon like Becky's. Several hours passed before I finally shrieked at the sight of matching engagement rings worn by Jen and Beth. Guess they had a very memorable night too. It was going to be a June wedding and I just might get to be a bridesmaid. No plans yet, but I had my fingers crossed. The next day at work, the moment I walked through the door, I was inundated with questions about New Years Eve and my pending date that evening with Becky. Apparently Becky shares absolutely everything with her sister. And her sister seems to share everything with her staff. "Oh well," I thought, "I'd better be extra prepared for tomorrow morning's questioning." At least the questions were all good natured. In fact, I was beginning to suspect that Sarah fancied herself as a bit of a matchmaker. But when Gwen teased that I'm dating the boss's sister, a little panic set in. Near the end of the work day, Becky texted me the directions to her place. In a second text, she said if I wanted to, I could bring any toys that I had. For a moment I was puzzled and wondered if she was into Barbie too. Carly peaked over my should and giggled. Then it struck me, she meant "toys," the adult variety. I arrived at Becky's and half expected her to be wearing that black evening gown. But she was dressed very casually in a sweater, leggings, and bare feet. I was similarly dressed in a sweater, jeans, and flats. Ironically, pretty much the same type of things I used to wear as a boy. She poured me a glass of a delightful pint noir and we sat down on her couch and started talking about our lives. Becky was so angry when she heard about my childhood. She had very supportive parents and of course she had Sarah. She had started wearing girl's clothes at fourteen and the private school she attended accommodated her. I told her that my transition was happening now because I had found the same kind of support structure that she always had. After quite a while, we just sat there and stared at each other, exploring each others' features. She told me that when she kissed my cheek the other night, she was struck by the softness of my skin. I said, "Thanks, I've been pretty careful to always wear sunscreen and to moisturize daily. Been doing that for years." She sighed, cupped my face with her hands and replied, "Girl, you have been transitioning your whole life. You're just now aware of it." With that, she gently placed her lips on mine and we kissed. I'm pretty sure it was one of those kisses from "Princess Bride" perfect. We lingered on the couch exploring each others lips and gently probing with our tongues. We entangled our legs and pressed our bodies together and started to rhythmically move as one. Becky then slowing took my hand and we walked expectantly to her bedroom. "I hope you find lingerie as sexy as I do." she said as she opened the door. On the bed were several sets of lingerie. "I thought it might be fun to dress each other." she declared seductively. We can can also play with makeup and if you are adventurous, there are a few of my favorite sex toys I'd like to share with you. "Are you planning on telling you sister about all of this?" I teasingly asked. "No, I think it would be a good idea to keep some secrets for ourselves." Becky walked over to her dressing table and picked up the matte red lipstick she'd worn when she first kissed me. She looked at me and told me to remove my sweater. After I had pulled it off over my head, exposing my rather flat chest (no breast forms, just a white pushup bra) I saw that she had taken off her sweater. There she was, naked from the waist up, her pert natural boobs just begging to be caressed. Her aroused nipples waiting to be sucked. She motioned me over to sit down on the bed. She slowly painted my lips a deep dark red. I painted Becky's fuller lips a luminous cherry red and then pointed to a red panty and and bra set and shear thigh high stockings on the edge of the bed. She devilishly grinned and pulled down her leggings and kicked them to the side. No undies, and I could see her pussy for the first time and I felt a tingling from my tightly tucked dick. As she strode past a shear black lacy corselette with garters and black stockings (no panties) she smiled, pointed and said, "I want to see you in this." We sat on opposite sides of the bed and dressed. When I was done, I turned to see her laying on her side with her hand in her red panties, watching me. When I laid down beside her, she could see that the one obvious remnant of my abandoned life was peeking out from under some black lace, quite excited to be freed from its tuck. "My, my, as they say, I see you are excited to see me." Becky teased, slowly reaching over and caressing it. I reached for her left breast and removed it from the bra cup and felt how firm yet soft it was. "I hope mine are like this someday," I whispered. "Sweety, you will be amazed at what a wonder drug estrogen is!" "So, a few ground rules. We tell each other what we like and don't like. Saying 'no' is always ok, it will not hurt our feelings. It will hep us learn and appreciate each other." I nodded my agreement as a tear or two of joy formed in the corner of my eye. "Hmmmm, well I really, really like kissing," I purred as I leaned in, reached around her head and pulled her lips onto mine. After several minutes of gentle passion, our kissing became more and more intense. Our tongues explored and licked. I sucked on her lips and she on mine. The lipstick I'd put on Becky began to smear from our wet and sloppy kisses, and if anything she looked even sexier. Becky put her hand softly around my dick and began to stroke it. "Ok?" she asked. I smiled and slipped my hand between her legs, resting on top of her red panties. "Mmm, you're a fast learner," she said as she spread her legs, encouraging me to rub her mound covered by shear red lace. As she began to moan, I pressed down firmly and her panties slid down exposing her pussy. I paused and she laughed and told me to go ahead, get comfortable and she'd give me a tour. With me positioned between her wide spread legs, she giggled and pointed saying "This is my clit. It's important to always remember where to find it. Now, put your fingers here and start to rub it and follow my lead." I could hardly believe how much pleasure I was experiencing making her cum. "Wow! Guess that orgasm was long over due. One down..." she said as she rolled me over onto my back. She positioned herself between my legs, licked her fingers, and began to rub the tip of my dick. As I got harder, she replaced her finger with her tongue, continually flicking it on my dick like it was a huge clit. Finally she let my dick slip into her warm mouth and began to take it in and out, faster and faster. When she sensed that I might orgasm, she rolled over and spread her legs again and motioned to me. "Time for you second pussy lesson, finding my vagina." From her nightstand she grabbed a tube of lube and put a little on my finger. She pulled the lips of her pussy apart. Next she guided my finger into her. I pushed until it was all the way in. It felt so warm. "Now start to fuck me. When I tell you, put a second finger in." A few minutes later came to request to add a finger. Then she asked for a third. I was so taken up with her wreathing against my hand penetrating her vagina, that I instinctively knew when to start licking her clit. When I thought she was nearing another orgasm she yelled "fuck me with your dick, fuck me!" I was so hard and she was perfectly stretched that I penetrated her with a single thrust. By my fourth deep thrust, cum exploded into her. I gasped, "I'm sorry! I came inside you!" She gave me a forgiving look and then reminded me that she wouldn't get pregnant. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and we began another kissing marathon. Becky hopped out of bed and kicked off the panties that were still wrapped around an ankle, and threw off the bra that had fallen to around her waist. She ran out of the bedroom, boobs playfully bouncing, and came back with the bottle of wine and our glasses. "No fair! I'm nude. You need to be nude too. Take off that lingerie and stockings!" I eagerly complied, although I made a show out of taking off my stockings. "Oooo, cute toes! Can I kiss them?" I held a foot up to her. She dipped a big toe into one of the wine glasses and began to suck on the toe. "Very tasty, I think I'll sample the rest." She worked from one toe to the next. I just knew she could not reset quoting the children's rhyme, and we said in unison "and this one went wee wee wee all the way home." After lovingly looking at each other for a half hour, with several kisses thrown in (toes might have been involved too), Becky asked if I was ready for round two. "Oh yes, please! Maybe we could try one of your toys?" "Ok, you pick. Let's see, I've got a strap on, several dildos, vibrators. Anything intriguing?" "Well, let's see. For now, I sort come equipped with my own strap on, so we'll save that for another time. How about something we can share, like this?" I picked up a pink two headed dildo. "Excellent choice." Becky grinned. "Bring it here and let's get it all lubed up." I knew which hole I was going to use, but I asked Becky if I could pick which of her's we used. "Only if you pick my ass! It needs some attention. Hasn't had any since Chad used it." We each took one end of the pink toy and prepared it with lube. We set it aside while we began making out again. But first I reached over and reapplied lipstick on Becky's succulent lips. Her face was still a beautiful mess of cherry red smears, still turning me on. We sat up facing each other and scissored our legs. She played with my dick and I played with her clit. we then started grinding ourselves trying to stimulate our anal sex holes. Soon, Becky reached over and grabbed the dildo and started to rub one end on my anus. As I began to moan and relax, she gently probed the entry until it popped in. A shiver of pleasure ran up my spine. Becky then worked the other end into her ass. We both laid back and tried to push ourselves onto the toy until it had completely penetrated us. Her hole against my hole, the dildo connecting us a one. In unison we thrusted against the toy and each other, pounding harder and harder with each trust. We reached for each others genitals, pleasuring each other until we could no longer control ourselves. I don't know how it happened but we came simultaneously with concurrent screams of, "Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck," rafting through the building. We rolled over pulled the sheets up, and fell asleep. Sometime during the night the toy slipped out of us. No matter, we were now joined in so many ways. To come: Krissy is a bridesmaid at a lesbian wedding. Krissy has to take Angela's place on a sales call. Kristen gets married.