Kristen's Journey
Chapter 1: My Job Interview
I started my new job on a late summer day. As it turned out, I also
started my new life on that same day. I'd only been out of work for a
few weeks after my last employer went through one of its downsizing
cycles. I had some fairly desirable job skills as both a web designer
and programmer and had secured a half dozen or so interviews within
days of being laid-off (with a sizable cash severance). One small
company really intrigued me. I'd only worked for large corporations
before and this time I wanted to stay away from that kind of impersonal
setting. This was a small, woman owned online publishing company that
specialized in women authors. They needed someone that could both keep
the computers working and to help out with content design. I fit the
bill. Well, almost.
When I arrived on Thursday for my first interview, I immediately felt a
strong sense of place. Flowers, pastel colors, and lace permeated a
decor of what was undoubtedly a very feminine office setting. I'd never
been overtly aware of my sexuality, having drifted through my teen
years as an introvert more interested in computers than people. I had
taken on a decidedly androgynous persona, helped by the fact that I was
not tall, slender, and had virtually no discernible facial hair. That
had kept members of both sexes confused and at bay. That served me fine
while working in those large corporations as an anonymous cog. But as I
now neared my mid twenties, I was feeling the need for friendship,
companionship and belonging. That was the primary reason I was now
looking to work for small company: a place where I'd be forced to be
more involved with my co -workers and come out of my self-imposed
shell.
Earlier that day I'd had an interview with another small company, but
one that was male dominated. It was also an internet company but they
specialized in team sports memorabilia. The boisterous atmosphere and
the strong sexual innuendo directed toward the two female employees
(both remarkably attractive) just made me uncomfortable (I guess I had
been paying attention to all the harassment guidelines that my last
employer issued). Although the owner was quite pleasant and assured me
that I could fit in, I knew that this was not the place to make
friends. On the other hand, when I met Sarah, the owner of Daisy Press,
and she gave me the same assurance, I had no doubt in my mind that I
would.
After my interview with Sarah, she gave me a brief tour of the office
where I got to meet a few of the employees. When I noted to Sarah that
I hadn't met any male employees she frankly explained that there were
none and that I'd be the first if I were offered and accepted a job.
Before I could express my concern that I might be a "token male" to
satisfy government regulators, Sarah explained that was not the case.
She'd offered jobs in the past but they had never been accepted. But
she did admit that her clientele definitely preferred working with
other women and she had never been overly disappointed when her job
offers were not accepted. I had to ask if she'd be disappointed if I
turned her down. I was pleased with her quick and decisive response,
"Yes, I'd be very disappointed." With that, Sarah asked if I could come
back the next day at 9:00 am for an interview with her key staff
members. If all went as well as she expected, I was assured a job and
could start immediately that day if I wanted. She did have one request.
She asked if I would arrive without my hair in a ponytail. I hadn't cut
my hair since I was fourteen and always wore it tied back. At first I
thought she was asking me to get a haircut for the interview. But she
read the look of concern on my face and said, "If you don't mind, I'm
just suggesting that wear it without the ponytail. It'll impress the
others if you do." I was so relieved that I didn't think twice about
it.
The next morning I woke up early, took a nice long bath to relax, and
washed my hair. Normally I just leave it damp and put it in its
familiar ponytail. But I was quite perplexed but very aware of Sarah's
suggestion. I was afraid that if I just let it dry by itself I'd look
too unkempt for an interview, so I got out the blow dryer and brush and
did the best I could. My best effort made me look more effeminate than
I usually do. My closet only contained plain, unisex shirts and pants.
I was somewhat disappointed that I hadn't gone shopping the night
before for something different for that morning's interview with
Sarah's staff. Daisy Press is located in a high rise office building.
With my long hair hanging loosely around my face, my walk through the
lobby and to the elevator bank resulted in two men actually holding
doors open for me. I smiled a bit to my self but accepted their
chivalry without a word.
Sarah was in the reception area waiting for me to arrive. She greeted
me cheerfully, "Kris, right on time and looking perfect. Ready to meet
my staff?" The way she said my name I realized for the first time that
it too was rather androgynous. I put off considering the cosmic
significance of that until later. Sarah took me to a small conference
room adjacent to her office. But before that, she asked her
receptionist, Carly, if she would do her a favor and bring me a bottle
of mineral water. Carly, was no more than 18 and just out of high
school and still dressed as such. Even I knew that she shouldn't be
wearing a midriff bearing top and low cut jeans to the office accented
with three inch slides showing off her blue toe nail polish. "We're
working on her fashion sense," Sarah whispered as she swung open the
doors to the conference room.
There were four impeccably dressed professional women seated around a
table. Sarah escorted me to the single remaining chair at the table
introduced me and then left. Karen Andrews, Daisy's editor spoke first.
"Kris, we were most impressed with your resume and with Sarah's
recommendation. So we want this to be more of a 'get to know each
other' chat and a time for you to ask us questions about working at
Daisy Press and for Sarah."
"That's right," chimed in a tall, slender woman wearing a tailored
black suit, no blouse, and black sling-backs. "Hi, my name is Gwen
Tolerson, the manager of operations here. If you decide to join our
little family, I guess that I'd be your boss." There was a faint but
audible giggle from one of the two other women at the table.
"I'm Angela Rolm and I'm the head of marketing and you'd also be
working with me sometimes when we need you design skills." Angela was
also in a business suit but one with a cream colored jacket and
matching skirt. She wore strappy red sandals that, along with her long
blonde hair, gave her a more playful and sexy appearance than the
others. Finally, Leah Colbert introduced herself with just a wink, a
wave, and a cheerful, "Leah here." Leah, with short black hair, was in
a black shift dress, classic black pumps, and black stockings. The
single strand of white pearls really completed the look. You'd have
never guessed that she was the accountant.
The ensuing hour passed in a flash. I never really had much time to ask
any detailed questions. I made my decision solely on what nice people
these four were. I did at the end, however, finally ask why they were
interested in seeing me without a ponytail. All four burst out in
laughter. "That was just Sarah seeing how responsive you are to doing
things for her and for us," said Angela. "Although, that particular
request does have some significance," explained Gwen. "Because almost
all of our clients are women and strong feminists, and because quite a
few are also lesbians, they are more comfortable only seeing other
women working on their account. Because you'll be primarily working in
the back office, you won't very often come in contact with any of the
clients. However, if one of them should want to see the operations
center, Sarah was thinking that they'd just think you were one of 'us
girls' if they caught a glimpse of you with your hair down."
I was taken back to Sarah's office where each of the women said goodbye
and encourage me to accept the job. "Well Kris, I hope you got to know
my staff and that they answered all of you questions. I'd love to have
you working for me."
"I'd love to work here and am ready to start today!" I found myself
blurting out without a second thought. "Good! I'll have Carly help you
fill out all of the necessary forms and then show you to your office."
"I get an office?" I asked. "Certainly, everyone here has an office
because sometimes you need some privacy," Sarah answered. As I started
to leave her office, I turned and asked, "One question though. Is it
important that I keep my androgynous look?" Sarah smiled and said, "For
now it will be a career asset to you here as I'm sure the girls have
explained. Of course you may want to pay attention whenever we give
poor Carly some fashion advice."
Chapter 2: The Red Shoe Gambit
After I finished with Carly, she took me into the operations center and
to a nicely decorated office in the corner. Moments later, two young
women, about my age, rushed in to introduce themselves. "Hi, I'm Kelly
and this is Katie. We both work for Gwen, so I guess the three of us
are going to be her team. Welcome!" They almost looked like twins,
wearing identical outfits; pink sleeveless knit tops with a scooped
neck that showed off a delicate gold chain necklace, tight fitting
jeans, and black kitten heel sandals. "Hi, my name is Kris," I said as I
extended my hand. However, they both ignored it and gave me a quick hug
instead. "We'll let you get settled and then we can all meet in the
conference room to talk and to go over our current projects. Does that
sound ok to you, Krissy?" Katie asked. "Sounds fine to me," I said
without bothering to correct her because I was used to my older sister
always calling me "Krissy."
An hour later the three of us met and went over work assignments and
got to know each other. I found out that several months ago, they
accidentally wore virtually the same outfit to work on a Friday. Ever
since, they have been making sure they dress identically every Friday
as a kind of "team bonding thing." Gwen originally thought it was a bit
childish for the work place, but when she noticed that the productivity
seemed to be higher, she started participating herself on the Fridays
she didn't have any outside meetings planned. The two of them would
take turns on Thursdays selecting the next day's outfit and sending out
an email. "We'll add you to the email list just so you are in the loop"
they volunteered.
The remainder of the day flew by. My only disappointment was that I'd
have to wait over the weekend until Monday to come back. I went to work
that day with my hair still down, flowing onto my shoulders as it had
been for my interview. In fact, the only time in the next month that I
put it in a ponytail was on one Friday when Kelly and Katie had theirs
styled that way. Actually, they re-styled mine so that it was higher on
the back of my head and they added a blue scrunchy to match theirs. I
quickly found out that it was much more comfortable wearing it that
way. The ponytail no longer tickled the back of my neck and the
scrunchy was definitely easier to put on and take off than the rubber
bands I'd been using all those years. I was decidedly more productive
that day. During that same time, all of the women in the office started
to call me "Krissy" because that's what Katie and Kelly called me.
Besides, I think they just liked the sound of the alliteration when
they referred to the operations team as "Katie, Kelly, Krissy."
It was in mid December, about three months into the job, that Gwen came
running into the operation center in a panic. Helena Steward, outspoken
feminist writer and our biggest client was in the office. She wanted to
greet all of the employees and give them each a Christmas gift basket
for all of the work we've done for her. We were to assemble in the
conference room for a brief ceremony. I volunteered to stay in my
office out of sight just in case Ms. Steward would find a male employee
upsetting. "That was my first thought too," said Gwen. "But Carly
already mentioned that 'Katie, Kelly, Krissy' were in here, hard at
work on Helena's latest book."
"Well, I'll just try to stand in background like a wall flower," I
said. Gwen then said, "Maybe we can help you be more flower-like," as
she noticed a suitcase standing in the corner. Whenever Angela was
scheduled to make a business trip, she would leave her travel bags in
the operations center rather than clutter up her office.
Gwen rushed over an unzipped the case. To her relief she found exactly
what she wanted to find; Angela's strappy red sandals. I was wearing a
nondescript bulky white sweater and black trousers that day.
Unfortunately I was also wearing decidedly looking male boots. "Krissy,
I promise to make this up to you later, but will you take off those
boots and slip these on please?" Katie immediately knew what Gwen was
up to and grabbed her purse and pulled out a bottle of cherry red nail
polish. How could I refuse? These women had become my best friends.
Minutes later both my toes and fingers sported brightly colored nails
and I was getting a brief lesson on how to walk in high heels. "We've
gone this far so..." Katie pulled out her makeup bag and before I knew
it, she'd applied a light blush to my cheeks and a touch of lipstick.
I followed all three of them to the conference room where Helena was
already waiting. "I'm glad you could break away and join us," she said.
I moved to the back of the room and positioned myself next to Angela.
Even with high heels on, I was still a half inch shorter than her and
not that much taller than the rest. Angela smiled at me and then had to
control a giggle when she glanced down and saw me wearing her shoes.
"Thank you so much for all of the work that you have done for me over
the last year. I've never regretted moving my account to Daisy Press
and I'm happy to see that your company is growing," briefly
acknowledging my presence in to room with a smile. "I'd like to give
each of you a small token of my appreciation." With that Sarah
introduced each of us and we were each given a large basket full of
cosmetics and other beauty products. "I hope you'll enjoy these and
that they help you be as beautiful as all of the work that you do."
With that, Helena waved and left the room. With my gift basket in my
arms, I walked cautiously back to my office along side my co-workers at
my side giggling and encouraging me to "strut my stuff."
"That went great!" said Gwen. "Thank you so much for doing that!"
"And a special thank you from me," said Sarah, who had followed us.
"Helena's account is just too big and too important to take any
chances. She left her last publisher on a whim and I have no doubt
she'd do it again."
"Krissy you were amazing," said Katie and Kelly in tandem. "I said I'd
make this up to you," said Gwen. "Let's call it a day and go down to
the bar in the building lobby and I'll buy the drinks."
"Good idea," said Sarah. "Gwen, take your girls out and put it on your
expense account." I was sitting at a corner table in the bar sipping on
my first Cosmopolitan before it occurred to me that I still had on
Angela's shoes and Katie's makeup. Gwen picked up on my discomfort and
assured me, "No one here has a clue, honey."
"Your just one of four women out for a good time as far as anyone here
knows. In fact, I know you haven't picked up on it, but the rest of us
girls know that the cute guy at the bar has been eyeing you since we
walked in."
"Don't be embarrassed," said Kelly, "he'll never get up enough courage
to come over here as long as we're all with you."
I suddenly didn't know whether I was relieved or disappointed.
Nonetheless, we finished two rounds of drinks and headed back to the
office to gather our things and leave for the day. I went to grab my
boots that had been shoved into Angela's suitcase. No suitcase! Angela
had left for the airport. We all broke out in hysterical laughter as we
pictured Angela presenting before a customer in my boots, not knowing
that we hadn't replaced her shoes after the meeting with Helena. "Guess
you'll have to wear them home tonight," observed Gwen. "Be careful
driving, don't get you heel caught." By this point I had become quite
accustomed to wearing them so I just smiled and told everyone that this
was sure to be a day I would not forget. I picked up my gift basket and
headed for the elevator. As I head for the parking garage, one of the
security guards insisted on walking me to my car. "I could really get
used to this," I thought to myself.
Chapter 3: How Buying Nail Polish Remover Leads To A New Wardrobe
When I awoke this next morning, I realized that I was still wearing the
cherry red nail polish and that I didn't have any thing in my apartment
to remove it. I looked through the gift basket, but there was no nail
polish remover there either. "Well," I mumbled to myself, "I can
either go to work looking like a guy wearing nail polish or looking
like a girl wearing nail polish." Remembering how nice I felt
yesterday, I opted for the second choice. I figured one of the women at
work would have nail polish remover. So I put on another bulky sweater,
another pair of black trousers (thinking all of the time that my
clothing selection sure was dull and boring), and slipped on the
strappy red sandals again. I also remembered to apply a little blush
and a hint of lipstick using some of the cosmetics in the gift basket.
I was already in the parking garage when I realized that I had
forgotten to bring along a spare pair of shoes to change into. I was
also prepared for some good natured kidding when I walked into the
office. Instead, everyone just greeted me with some variation of
"Krissy, you look so nice today." In my office I tried to give my
rational to Katie and Kelly why I was still wearing Angela's sandals
and makeup. "Oh don't worry about it," said Kelly. "At lunch time we'll
run over to the shopping center across the street and get what you
need. Angela is due back this afternoon and she might want her heels
back."
At noon, I was expecting Kelly and Katie to run over to the shopping
center and get some nail polish remover and a pair of something for me
to wear home. Instead, they came over to me and said, "Let's go
shopping girl friend," and the three of us headed out. After we walked
pass the drug store where I was sure they had nail polish remover, my
two co-workers guided me into one of the malls many shoe stores. We
walked to the back of the store where the discount rack was located,
noticing on the way that the store only sold women's shoes. I was going
to protest, but then it occurred to me that I could hardly shop for
men's shoes while still wearing high heels. Kelly selected several
pairs and we sat down to try them on. "I really think these low heeled
pumps will look cute on you. Try them on," said Katie as she placed the
pair at my feet. I took off Angela's and slipped on the slides. "Nice,
they feel comfortable," I said. "Good. Now try these on." By the time
we were done, I had four pairs of shoes in hand because I couldn't
decide which ones I liked best. As we walked to the checkout counter,
Katie noticed a display of powder blue sling-backs with three inch
heels for sale. She grabbed three pairs, saying "for tomorrow."
When we walked back into the office we arrived just as Angela was
returning. "Very successful trip! And I didn't even have my lucky red
shoes. Maybe they are luckier if you keep them Krissy." I felt myself
blushing and told Angela that I had just bought four pairs and that I'd
return hers. "No, really. I want you to keep them. Now you have five
pairs, a relatively good start!" she assured me. "Actually, make that
six pairs," pointed out Katie as she motioned to her shopping bag from
the shoe store. "What?" I said. Katie opened the bag and handed a pair
of size seven to Kelly and a pair of size nine to me, and held the last
pair up for herself. "Tomorrow is Friday and it's my turn to pick the
outfit. I think that it is only appropriate that you join in Krissy.
After all we are team 'Katie, Kelly, Krissy' aren't we?" I couldn't
disagree with the logic. Besides, I was having too much fun being the
center of attention for a change.
Later, Katie sent out the Thursday email saying she wanted us to wear
the blue sling backs along with a matching powder blue knit top, black
skirt and stockings. "What?" was my only possible reply. "Not to
worry," wrote back Katie. "I know Kelly doesn't have a powder blue top
either. But I saw some adorable ones in a window display in the mall
this afternoon. We'll just do some more shopping after work. Ok?" I was
too dumbfounded to reply. I was also a bit excited at the thought of
going shopping with my friends.
"You do know that besides the blue top, I don't have a skirt of any
kind, not to mention stockings?" I said as we walked across the street
after work. "Yeah, we kind of suspected that. Your collection of
clothes is pretty, how do I say this politely? Boring." I had to agree
that my fashion sense might be as bad as Carly's. "You have to have a
fashion sense in the first place before it can be bad," chided Kelly.
"Ok, now you've thrown down the proverbial gauntlet," I said. "If I'm
smart enough to learn all of the systems at work, I'm smart enough to
learn about fashion!" In truth, I'd been watching various style related
programming on cable and was curious to see if I'd picked up anything
in the process.
We headed into store, this time with me in the lead. I found the knit
tops that Katie had seen earlier and they were cute. I picked out one
with three quarter sleeves that buttoned in the front, with a low
neckline that would be tastefully revealing. I handed it to Kelly
saying "this will look great on you." She gushed in mock disbelief
saying that that was the exact one she would have picked. For myself, I
thought a long sleeve pullover with a high neck was more suitable. "Two
for two," praised Katie. We moved onto the juniors department to look
at skirts. This time I let the other girls take the lead. We each left
the department with identical A-line skirts. The next stop was
problematic. I didn't know where to start. Just buying stockings was
not enough. Because the knit top was tight fitting compared to all of
the bulky sweaters in my closet, it would not hide the fact that I
wasn't "endowed." Skilled shoppers that they were, Katie and Kelly soon
had selected a couple of bra and panty sets as well as a couple of
slips and of course several pairs of stockings. "For now we'll just go
with thigh highs. We can deal with garter belts when the situation
calls for it," said Kelly with a wink.
The next stop was at a small jewelry store. They told me to go sit in a
chair next to the counter while they picked out some bracelets, a
watch, a necklace, and earrings. "Are you ready?" the salesgirl asked.
"Ahh, sure. I mean, ready for ..." but before I could complete the
sentence, I felt a sting in my left ear and then just as quickly
another in my right. "There, all done. That wasn't so bad was it
sweety?" I glanced immediately at a nearby mirror and saw that I now
had pierced ears, each with a pretty blue zircon stud. "Actually, that
wasn't so bad," I replied. Katie and Kelly started to get the giggles
and then I did too.
The last stop was in a specialty store at the far end of the mall.
Katie went in by herself and came out about fifteen minutes later. "We
were afraid that we've been overwhelming you today, so I bought these
for you by myself." She opened the shopping bag and I peeked in to see
that she had purchased a pair of breast forms for me to use. "The
instructions on usage are inside the box. We didn't think it was
appropriate for you to have to stuff your bra with Kleenex."
With that, we all head back to the parking garage under our building,
purchases in hand. For the second day in a row, a security guard
insisted on escorting me to my car, this time helping carry all of my
bags.
Chapter 4: Dressing For Success
Friday was my last day before taking a week off for Christmas. I didn't
have any special plans for my vacation; just stay around my apartment
and relax. My sister was my only family and she was spending time with
in-laws this year. Because my friends had spent so much time with me
yesterday, I got up early to make sure I did everything right to get
ready. I didn't want to let them down. Funny thing was, this was the
most concerned I'd ever felt about my appearance. I was fully aware
that I was about to dress completely as a woman and that no one at work
was going to think twice about it. As I said, I'd never been aware of
things of a sexual nature. Today I was definitely aware of very
feminine feelings. I was feeling happy, excited, anxious, and maybe a
little confused all at the same time.
First thing was to take a nice long bubble bath. I washed my hair twice
and applied a lot of conditioner and let it soak in while I shaved my
legs and any place else I thought necessary. After drying off, I took
everything out of my gift basket from Helena and set them out on my
bathroom counter. My first concern was a chip in my nail polish and the
realization that I still didn't have any remover. The good news was
that I was now the owner of a decent collection of bottles of nail
polish courtesy of one of our clients. I found a color that was a close
match and re-did my nails. I was a little shaky using my left hand to
apply polish on my right, but I did a decent job for my first try.
The previous evening, I had spent time searching the Internet for
information about the proper application of makeup. I was perhaps over-
prepared. I had so many different ideas on what I wanted to try, that I
was briefly stopped in my tracks by all of the cosmetic choices laid
out before me. I closed my eyes and envisioned the women at work and
decided to use them as role models. So after applying a light
foundation, I just went with a little blush, mascara, dark grey eye
shadow and a touch of pink lipstick. Just after I put down the lipstick
I realized that I'd probably made a tactical mistake. I should have at
least put on my knit top first to avoid smudging my face and getting
makeup on my clothing.
I collected my thoughts and decided I'd better confront the breast
forms next. Katie had purchased the type that needs to be attached
using an adhesive. I meticulously followed the included instructions.
When I was finished, I was quite happy and proud of the results. I
couldn't wait to see how a bra look cradling them. Because I was going
to be wearing a light colored knit top, I opened up the bra and panty
set that consisted of lovely white lace lingerie. I was not at all
disappointed when I saw how nicely the bra looked when filled out by my
breasts. The tan colored stockings I selected felt as wonderful as I
had imagined when I gently pulled them over my smoothly shaven legs.
Next I put on a lacy black slip and then the skirt. Now all I had to do
was get the knit top on. It was a slow process, but I eventually eased
it over my head without stretching the neckline our ruining my makeup.
I went back into the bathroom to try to do something different with my
hair. That was when I got the first glimpse of myself fully dressed in
the mirror. It was an astounding experience. I both recognized and
didn't recognize the person in the mirror, both feelings at the same
time. But I sure liked what I saw. I'd wanted a changed in my life and
this was certainly a change. And a good one so far. The conditioner had
made my hair fuller than ever. I tried to blow dry it and style it into
the most feminine look I could muster. By all accounts, I did a pretty
good job. Back in my bedroom, I slipped on the powder blue sling-backs
and took several practice walks around the apartment until I felt
confident. I took a deep breath, picked up my car keys, headed for the
door and then remembered that I should bring along my lipstick, brush,
and a few other things in case I needed to "freshen up." I went to put
them in my backpack and thought that didn't seem right. I needed a
purse and I didn't have one yet. I looked at my watch (at least I had
an inexpensive women's watch from the jewelry store) and I was early. I
had time to stop at the Target on the way to work.
I pulled into the store parking lot, confidently walked into the store,
found a nice black clutch and remembered to pick up some nail polish
remover. I also decide to buy a couple more pairs of stockings to put
in my desk just in case I put a run in these. I went to the check out
line and handed my purchases to the clerk, a teenage male. When he
routinely asked if I found everything I needed, I froze. It just
occurred to me that I hadn't spoken directly to anyone as a woman. I
had just smiled and whispered a word here and there. Katie and Kelly
had handled all interactions with sales people the day before. I'm sure
my hesitation wasn't as long as I thought, but I did finally get my
composure and say "Yes, thank you for asking," avoiding at all costs a
falsetto but trying to stay in the upper register of my voice. "That'll
need some work," I resolved to myself. But it was good enough at that
moment.
While driving the rest of the way into work, I practiced aloud, trying
to mimic the female announcer on the radio station I had on. When I got
to the parking garage, I emptied the contents of my backpack into my
purse, stepped out of the car (I needed to work on getting out
gracefully and added that to my list of things to practice), and walked
to the lobby. I didn't have to touch a door all the way to the office,
encountering one nice gentleman after another. The reaction to my
appearance at work was everything I could have hopped for. My timing
had been perfect. I stepped out of the elevator just as Kelly and Katie
were about to enter. They turned, saw me and squealed. Instead of the
usual Friday "twins" at the office, today there were "triplets." The
three of us walked into the office arm in arm. Carly stood up put her
hands over her mouth, gasped and then started to clap. Team "Katie,
Kelly, Krissy," were topic of the day. I can't say it was the most
productive day in the company's history, but to date, it was the most
memorable.
Chapter 5: Am I Going Too Fast?
As soon as I got home that afternoon I hit the Internet for some online
shopping. Before I left work Sarah had handed me an unexpected
Christmas bonus check. "I'd love to see you spend this on yourself.
Surprise me when you return from vacation." Before the evening was
over, I had spent the whole bonus and a little bit more on dresses,
blouses, skirts, slacks, lingerie, and more shoes. I impatiently placed
all of my orders for overnight shipping. Saturday morning I woke up
early. I figured all of my purchases couldn't possibly arrive until
later in the day, so I took the opportunity to go out for a short walk.
Wearing my only skirt and heels wasn't going to work, so I had to put
on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. However, with my new found figure
to fill out the shirt, I didn't look too bad. I slipped on my low
heeled black pumps after a quick makeup application and headed out,
remembering to grab my purse as I shut the door.
Across the street from my apartment house is a small strip mall. I
headed over there for a little window shopping. As I walked pass a
beauty salon in the middle of the mall, I paused and noticed that it
was empty except for one woman who I assumed was the owner. As I looked
at my reflection in the window, she waved at me to come in. My first
thought was to run away, but I gave into my second thought, which was
to be adventuresome. I opened the store door, peeked in, and then
committed myself to enter all of the way. "I'm not busy today. I can
take walk-ins. My first appointment isn't for another two hours," the
woman, Cindy, according to the name stitched into her smock, said. "Hi,
I'm Kristen and was thinking it was about time to do something about my
hair style when I saw your shop," I told her. I thought "Kristen,"
sounded better, only the girls at work called me "Krissy."
"Oh honey, you really do need some work on that mop." she laughed.
"What do you think we should do with it?" I asked. "Shampoo, color,
cut, maybe even a perm. I've got plenty of style books here. Let's find
something that will look adorable on you for the holidays." To this day
I don't know if Cindy had me figured out. But she certainly figured out
what I needed. I spent the next two hours chatting and gossiping with
her. I learned more about my neighbors in those two hours than I had
learned in the previous four years. When she had finished with me, I
couldn't believe the difference. My hair was now layered to my
shoulders, much lighter with highlights, wavy, bouncy, and thick. I
couldn't resist running my fingers through it and tossing it around,
only to have it fall perfectly back in place. "Do you think your boy
friend will love this look?" she said inquisitively. "No boy friend
yet," I said. I hadn't gotten around to thinking about finding a
companion. I was just happy that I finally had friends. But after she
asked, I did start to think about it. Girl friend? Boy friend? Which?
When my next thought was of the cute guy that checked me out in the
bar, I think I knew what the answer could be.
Back in my apartment, I patiently awaited my shipment. While some women
may frequently complain that they "don't have anything to wear," I was
certainly in that situation. I only had the one outfit that I'd worn
the day before. I suppose I could have gone out to mall and shopped in
person by myself. But that experience would come later, after I
mastered my voice. For now I just had to wait. Until 7:00 pm when the
door bell finally rang. Christmas arrived early that day. I treated
every package as a present to me. When I was done opening everything,
my living room was a sea of beautiful colors and textures. I couldn't
bring myself to put them into closets and drawers until the next day.
I spent all day Sunday purging my closets of boring and drab clothes
and doing a little redecorating to make my apartment reflect the new
me. It really had only been a few days since this whole transformation
had started. I was afraid that I'd wake up the next day with horrible
regrets: that I'd blown my entire bonus on women's clothing, only to
realize that I had just been on a temporary high from all of the
attention I was getting. But Monday came, and I felt better about
myself than ever. No, this was going to be a permanent change in how I
approached life.
That afternoon I changed into a dress for the first time. It was
similar to the one that our accountant, Leah, had been wearing the day
I had my interview, only dressier. It was my first "little black
dress." Black stockings, classic black pumps, and a gold chain necklace
made me feel very sexy. Too sexy to stay in my apartment. Besides, I
thought I'd look even better if I was sipping on a Cosmopolitan. I
headed over to the bar in the lobby of our office building. When I got
there, I sat at the same table in the corner and ordered my drink. I
then noticed that the same cute guy was at the bar. "He must work in
the building too," I thought. Truthfully, I hadn't thought this would
happen. I just wanted to show off my new dress and try out a few
flirtatious looks. He was looking at me, so I smiled and winked. Not
very subtle, one more thing I needed to practice. Without the other
girls around, he stood up, walked over to my table, and asked if I
would mind if he joined me. After winking at him, I could hardly say
no. "Please, do sit down," I said. "My name is Chad, and your are?"
"Kristen," I said as softly as possible. "I've seen you before. Do you
work nearby?" he asked. "Yes, for Daisy Press, in this building."
Whoops, too much information. Another item for my list of things to
practice.
"Right, I remember. Last week I saw you with a couple of the women who
work there. But you had a much more casual look. Are you dressed up for
a date? Am I intruding?"
"No, no," I said, "I'm going to a museum opening later on and wanted to
be a little less casual than usual." I made that up, but it sounded
plausible and like something a sophisticated woman might do alone.
"You know, when I saw you last week, even then I thought we'd met
before," he said. I suddenly became flushed. He was right. We had met
before. Chad was the guy that had interviewed me for the job at the
sports memorabilia company. I needed to change the subject and picked
up on his earlier comment. "You mentioned that you recognized some of
the women from Daisy Press," I said. "Do you know the company?" I
asked.
"Sarah's company has occasionally done some web work for us. We've also
had a personal relationship."
"Oh, this is great," I thought, I'm being hit on by a guy that has met
me as a male and who has dated my boss. Could this get any worse? To my
relief, it got better. A lot better.
"For awhile, I dated Sarah's younger sister. When I hired her away from
Sarah we stopped dating. But the three of us are good friends and still
get together every now and then."
"Does she still work for you?"
"Oh yes. She is my top salesperson."
She must have been one of the attractive women I saw during my
interview. But the strange thing was, I thought Sarah only had a
younger brother. In fact, she once mentioned that they had started the
company together along with Angela and Gwen.
"I hate to run, but I'd better get going." I said. "It was so nice to
meet you and I'll say hi to Sarah for you."
"I know this sounds trite, but do you come here often? I'd like to talk
when you have more time. I'm going out of town for Christmas, but I
would make a point of being here on Wednesday if I thought you might
stop by."
I didn't promise, buy I hinted that there was a slight chance I might
stop by if I was in the area. I really did want to meet again, but
needed some time to get my thoughts together.
On the way back to my car, I ran into Gwen. At first she walked right
past me. Then she stopped, turned and asked "Krissy?" She walked back
to me, looked carefully at my new hair style, my dress, and then gave
me a long hug. Hugs are always nice, especially from your boss. "What
are you doing down here? You can't stay away for even a day? And by the
way, you look absolutely gorgeous!"
I told her about my online shopping spree, my visit to the hair salon,
and then my need to get out of my apartment (picking the lobby bar as
someplace familiar and safe). I then told her about my chat with Chad.
Gwen just kind of silently stared at me, but I could tell she was
thinking hard about something. "Let's go across the street to the
coffee shop. We need to have a, let's call it a mother-daughter talk."
As Gwen talked, I learned that I was indeed right; Sarah did have a
younger brother. But Chad was also right. She also has a younger
sister. They were one and the same. Sarah had been very protective of
her brother. Early on he had confided to her that he wanted to be her
sister. After their parents retired and moved away, she took care of
him. When they started the company, everybody was aware that her
brother was going to become "Becky." Chad was also aware of this when
he first met her. Eventually, he became more and more attracted to her.
They began to date. Chad was a very good first boy friend for Becky.
After Becky had completely transitioned into a woman, Sarah and her
thought it was time for her to venture out on her own. Chad had been up
front that he was attracted to her more before her surgery. But by
then, they had also become friends and Chad really respected her
business acumen. So she went to work for him. Sarah was happy that her
little sister was happy. Chad was happy too.
"Sarah has great empathy for anyone that reminds her of her sister. She
has a sixth sense about the kind of person that will flourish at a
company like ours. Looking at the lovely young woman seated across from
me, I can see that that sixth sense is working just fine." I felt a
little tear forming and could see that Gwen's eyes were getting moist.
Gwen then continued, "You haven't been with us very long, and there is
much that we can help you with. You are a skilled worker; we will help
you become a skilled woman if you want."
I started to cry. Gwen handed me a tissue and I rubbed my eyes. "No
dear, pat, don't rub. You've smeared your mascara." We both laughed and
I made a quick trip to the ladies room to fix my makeup (I almost
turned into the men's room by mistake, which would have caused quite a
stir).
"I think you should show up at the bar on Wednesday," Gwen said to my
surprise. "Chad is very instinctive and smart. He'll put all of the
pieces together and figure everything out. He'll treat you with respect
and just like a woman. Just don't plan a future with him if you plan to
take this a far as Becky," she cautioned. "But, between now and then,
have fun experimenting with different looks. I'll tell Sarah about our
talk. Knowing her, she'll be anxiously waiting by the office door next
Monday to see what you look like."
Chapter 6: I Start Exploring My Sexuality
By noon on Wednesday, I was getting pretty good with putting on makeup
and walking in high heels. In fact, I needed to buy some additional
supplies because I was going through the free cosmetics in the basket
very fast. By that time it was also a foregone conclusion that I was
going back to the lobby bar and I was hoping that Chad would be there
too. This time I wasn't going to dress so sexy. I wanted a
professional, holiday season, come hither look; all in one. I picked
out a dark beige cashmere sweater, a bronze satin skirt, sheer nude
stockings, and dark brown d'Orsay pumps. I was more dramatic with my
makeup, using a shimmering gold eye shadow, and Bordeaux colored, matte
lipstick (and matching nail polish, of course).
I walked into the bar and immediately spotted Chad sitting right by the
entrance. His big smile told me that I'd achieved the look I was after.
He pointed to a table in back and offered me his arm and I slipped my
left hand around his elbow and squeezed tight. He pulled the chair out
for me and I demurely sat down and delicately crossed my legs.
The grin on his face had no end. He called for the waitress, "I'll have
a scotch and soda and the lady will have a Cosmopolitan, please," as he
put his hand on top of mine. He then gently caressed my hand, rubbing
the tops of my polished nails. "Thank you for coming. You look lovely,
very lovely." I started to blush. I had to assume that since Monday
he'd talked to Sarah, but I wasn't sure. I'd only been wearing panties
for six days and I wasn't about to let him into them until I was sure
he'd like what he found. After the drinks came, he took one sip and
then reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a couple of
sheets of paper and laid them on the table. He continued to caress my
hand, but didn't say a thing. I glanced down. There was my resume. The
one I'd submitted to his company months ago.
"Hmmm, I see you are as smart as Gwen said you were."
"And as I recall, I told you the same thing during our interview. Only
now you are smart and beautiful. And better yet, I think we know enough
about each other that we can skip pass this introductory meeting. May I
take you out to diner and a play instead?"
"I'd be delighted," I said, as I briefly brushed the vamp of my pump
along the inside of his ankle. He took me to a quaint French restaurant
near the theatre where we talked about the weather, computers, and
eventually some politics. His opinions were a bit too conservative for
my tastes, but I was too fixated on how cute he was to pay much
attention. After we finished off the bottle of cabernet we had ordered
with diner, we walked the two blocks to the theatre. Chad had tickets
for Les Miserables. It had been touring endlessly for years, yet
somehow I had missed seeing it. We took our seats and the lights
dimmed. As the music poured over us, we held hands. During the sad
parts, I'd rest my head on his shoulder and cry. The wine and the play
were releasing pent up emotions.
By intermission, I had something else pent up due to the wine. I asked
Chad to point me towards the ladies room. In an adjacent corridor,
there was the empty men's room and the ladies room with a long line of
women snaking around the corner. I sighed and went to the end of the
line. By the time I got to the door, the intermission was nearly over;
the house lights were blinking. "This is so unfair," I said under my
breath but loud enough for the woman in front of me to hear. "You'd
think we'd get used to it. I've spent too much time standing in line
when I should have been enjoying the play or game I paid for. Stupid
male architects!" All of the women with ear range were nodding in
agreement. A moment later I finally had an empty stall. I quickly
lifted my skirt and pulled down my panties; and not a moment too soon.
After peeing, I turned my haven over to the next girl in line; I could
hear that the overture for the next act had started. Still, I paused
long enough to check my makeup in the mirror and to replace the
lipstick that I had apparently left on my wine glass earlier. Outside
of the ladies room, Chad was patiently waiting for me.
"I'm sorry that took so long. With the French diner, French wine, and
French play, I should have done what they do in France and just used
the men's room."
Chad leaned in and whispered "you could have done that anyway,
Kristen." We looked at each other amusedly; he gave me a quick peck on
the cheek, and escorted my back to our seats in the now darkened
theatre.
Afterwards, we took a long walk back to his car through a nearby park;
Chad's arm secured around my waist. We paused several times to admire
the city lights. The third time we stopped, there was another couple
seated on a nearby bench kissing. I turned and faced Chad, put both
arms around his neck, looked into his eyes for a moment and then closed
mine and brushed my lips against his. He pulled my tightly to him and
we kissed for several long, passionate seconds.
"That was very nice." I sighed. "Very nice indeed," he said. We kissed
again. And then for a third time. Finally, we continued our walk to the
car. When Chad started the engine I noticed the time on the dashboard
clock. "My goodness! The parking garage where I left my car will be
closed this time of night."
"I can drive you back to your place," he said.
"That's such a bother, I live outside the city."
"No bother at all. But then you'd have to still somehow get back into
the city tomorrow to get your car."
"I'd have to call a cab," I thought out loud.
"Perhaps the best solution is for you to just stay at my condo. It's
only a block from your office building."
"Hmmm, that would be the best solution," I said.
"I don't have a guest room. You'd have to sleep with me," he said.
"But then again, I don't have a nightgown with me."
"I have a feeling that lack of clothing isn't going to be an issue for
me," he laughed.
"I'm not exactly playing hard to get, am I?" I asked.
"You did make me wait since Monday."
Chad's condo had a romantic view of the city. I stood on his patio
while he poured us each a warm brandy. We each took a sip to relax and
then resumed the kissing we had started in the park. This time his
kisses were more intense and forceful. I parted my lips and let his
tongue enter. I returned his probes with my own. We pressed our bodies
together tightly and he lifted me slightly. I raised one foot off the
ground, lifting my leg behind me. The way he turned his head, I knew he
was staring down at my lifted foot. Throughout the play I noticed that
he was spending about as much time looking at my foot as he was the
stage. Every time I crossed my legs and let my pump dangle from my
toes, I caught him watching. From the moment a put on Angela's strappy
red sandals, I knew that I was going to be the type of girl who had a
shoe fetish. Why not share that with a guy who had one too?
I took Chad's hand and led him over to a couch. I sat next to him and
threw my legs over his lap. "I've been in these heels since noon. Do
you mind giving me a little massage?" I asked. Chad smiled and slowly
removed one shoe; gently stroking an exposed instep first. Then he ran
his fingers over the edge of the vamp of the other shoe, playing with
the little "toe cleavage," I was showing (my only natural cleavage at
that point in my life). He slipped the shoe off and lifted my foot to
his lips. He gently kissed my toes first, then my instep, and finally
my heel. Then he tasted my toes through their nylon encasement. "I'll
bet these taste even better without the stocking on," he said. I pulled
the hem of my skirt up until I had exposed the lacy top of my stocking.
Chad caressed my thigh and then kissed my leg from my ankle up to the
top of my stocking. I desperately want his kisses to go even father,
but he stopped there and then gently rolled the stocking down my smooth
leg, kissing the exposed flesh all the back down to my toes.
Chad spent five minutes driving me crazy with his sensuous sucking of
my toes. I then begged him to do the same to my other foot, wiggling it
in his face. "Delighted," he said as he turned his attention to it. I
could feel my panties getting moist from the pre-cum from my swelling
"clit."
I stood up and without a word, walked as sexy as I could to the
bedroom, turning at the door to make sure Chad was following. As he
pulled the covers back on the bed I asked him if he wanted to undress
me or watch me strip. "Please strip down to your bra and panties," he
asked.
I slowly gathered the bottom of my sweater and pulled it off, over my
head. I shook my head and let my mussed hair fall back into place. I
reached behind, unzipped my skirt and let it fall to my feet. I tossed
it into a corner of the room with a flick of my foot. I then turn my
back to Chad and slowly, very slowly, removed my slip. I turned and
knelt on the edge of the bed.
I could see him looking down eagerly between my legs. My wet, white
lace panties were not hiding anything. "Come over here and take my
clothes off," he said. I purred "Gladly," and crawled over to him. I
kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt. He sat up and let me take it
off of him. I ran my soft hands all over his hard chest. He was more
muscular and stronger than I had expected. I slipped his shoes and
socks off and then turned my attention to the last impediment to my
desire. I could see a huge bulge already pressing against the zipper of
his pants. I tentatively placed my hand on him and felt his hardness. I
slowly undid the zipper and pulled down his pants and tossed them into
the same corner as my skirt.
I stopped for a moment and lay next to him in our underwear and
exchanged passionate kisses. He guided my hand back to his bulge. He
released his hand and then put it directly onto my bulging panties. He
stroked me though my lacy lingerie. I copied him stroke for stroke. As
our tongues darted in and out of each others mouths, he slipped his
hand down my panties and touched me. A shiver ran down my spine. I
reached into his and wrapped my hand around his swollen cock. He
moaned. I sat up and yanked his shorts off so I could see it. It was
magnificent. I've never wanted anything so badly. I fell onto my back,
lifted my legs, and quickly removed my panties; then jumped on top of
Chad so I could rub my hard "clit," against his throbbing cock. I
rhythmically ground myself against him. We then each started to stroke
each other again. I felt that I could come at any minute when Chad
said, "Slow down girl. Let's really enjoy this. I know this is your
first time and I want it to be special."
"Tell me what to do. I want you to teach me how to please you."
"Correction. How to please each other," he said.
With that he kissed me and then guided my mouth towards his huge cock.
"We'll start with you learning about giving a blowjob. I want you to
start by kissing my dick and getting familiar with it."
I moistened my lips and then let his cock touch my mouth for the first
time. I gave it soft gentle kisses, starting at the tip. When I reached
his balls he told me to use my tongue and lick every placed I'd just
kissed.
"Open your mouth now and let me push my dick in," he said. I felt a
tingling in my own "clit" when I tasted him. He slowly pushed his cock
deeper and deeper into my hot mouth. When he sensed that I was
beginning to gag on it, he pulled back; but then thrust it back in with
more force than the first time; then again, and again, faster and
harder with each thrust. I reached down a played with myself. He
stopped and told me to do the same thing but this time I'd thrust my
mouth onto him while he lay down on his back. I held his cock in my
hand, stroked it a couple of times with the wetness from my own
erection, and then proceeded to explore every inch of him with my
mouth. I could see traces of my lipstick all over his dick which only
made me more excited.
"Now its time to return the favor," he said. "Keeping sucking on me
while you position your cock so I can suck on you," he instructed. I
knew this was called the 69 position and I couldn't wait to feel his
mouth take me in. We quickly got into a sensuous rhythm. For every deep
penetration into his mouth, I took him deep into mine. When he was as
hard as I had ever felt him, he said, "It's time for you to become a
true woman."
It was the moment I had been waiting for since I first walked into the
bar in high heels, giddy with success. I rolled over onto my back and
spread my legs. He grabbed each ankle (he couldn't resist giving my
toes a little more attention first), and positioned his cock at the
entrance to my love hole. He let me get used to the tip of his cock
pressing against me before he pushed hard with a long single thrust. He
paused with his manhood inside me, to let me savor the moment; my first
penetration, my first feeling of having a man inside me. He then
started the same, slowly increasing with intensity, thrusts that he had
given my mouth. Each thrust was harder, faster, and deeper than the
last. I started to moan; quietly at first; then louder and louder with
each penetration.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes."
"Oh please don't stop."
"Harder, harder."
I started to gyrate my hips, trying to take him in as deeply as I
could; trying to give him as much pleasure as he was giving me.
"Fuck me baby, fuck me hard," I kept saying over and over again. His
pace increased and I could hear his balls slapping against my ass. His
sweat was dripping on me as he strained and worked his cock in and out
of my love hole. I was furiously stroking my "clit," until I felt I
could explode.
"I'm going to cum; I'm going to cum, make me cum!" I screamed. Chad
kept fucking me. My "clit," exploded with my hot love; all over my
tummy and onto my bra. Chad didn't miss a stroke, he kept fucking my
hole, harder than ever. I rubbed my cum all over me and then licked my
cum drenched fingers. The cum on my lips made my lipstick shimmer in
the light. The site of that drove Chad wild. He forced his tongue deep
into my mouth, and then with a half dozen deep penetrating thrusts,
filled me with his hot, sticky love juice. The warmth of his cum inside
me made me shudder with pleasure. He left his cock inside of me for a
long time as we kissed and hugged.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I couldn't stop saying it. We fell
asleep still holding onto each other.
In the morning, I woke before Chad and dressed. I didn't shower because
I wanted the smell of him to remain on me forever (at least for the
rest of the day). I made him breakfast and woke him with a kiss. He
wanted to walk me to my car even though he had a flight to catch (he
was heading back east for Christmas). But I wanted to take a solitary
stroll, hear my heels clicking on the pavement, and reflect on my new
life.
Chapter 7: Bad Memories
Saturday was Christmas. I woke up when I heard the door bell ring and
someone yell out a very girlish "Ho, Ho, Ho." When I opened the door I
found several festively wrapped presents sitting there, all with tags
saying from Santa to Krissy. I brought them in and put them under my
tree. I made myself a cup of tea before sitting on the floor to open
them. I was wearing my Christmas present from myself; a long red silk
nightgown with a lace bed jacket. When I'd opened everything except the
largest box, I had a delightful collection of bath oils and perfumes
from the girls at work. The last box was from Katie and Kelly. I
shrieked with delight when I discovered it was a Barbie Playhouse,
several Barbie dolls and outfits galore. I took a luxurious bubble bath
and then played with my Barbies the rest of the day.
Sunday morning I woke up and walked out to my living room and stared at
all of my wonderful and thoughtful gifts from my friends. But when I
saw my Barbies dressed so pretty and all lined up as if they were about
to have a fashion show, I suddenly broke into tears. Uncontrollable
crying, collapsing onto the floor. I couldn't get control of my
emotions. Something was terribly wrong. Every time I glanced at the
simple child's toy, a girl's toy, I'd be thrown into a panic.
After what seemed like an eternity I gathered some semblance of control
and moved to my kitchen and made myself some tea. As if some cosmic
force was at work, my phone rang. My sister Megan was calling me.
"Merry belated Christmas Krissy!"
All I said was, "Hi sis, thank you so much for calling," and she
immediately sensed something was wrong.
"Kris, you sound terrible, almost like you've been crying. Is
everything ok? Is it your new job? Did you get laid off again?"
"No no," I told her I had never been better and that work was great.
Oddly, I added that work was too great. My dear big sister just said
"tell me all about it, I'm listening." With that I told her everything.
Everything up to the moment the sight of a few Barbie dolls started an
emotional breakdown. When I told Megan about that her voice started to
tremble "oh no no no, not again."
After a long pause to collect herself, she told me she had just arrived
at the airport with two of her old college friends for a New Years
girl's outing. But she was now going catch a cab and be at my place
within the hour. I wasn't to do anything except put another pot of tea
on and maybe some makeup if I felt the need.
Forty minutes later Megan was ringing my doorbell. I had the pot of tea
ready. I had made myself presentable (although my eyes were still puffy
and red despite the concealer I put on). I took several deep breaths to
try to calm my churning stomach. I opened the door.
I didn't now what to expect, but I know I didn't expect Megan to say,
"Finally, you look right," and then smiled and hugged me for several
minutes before wiping a tear from her eye. For the next couple of hours
we talked about my clothes, makeup, hair and eventually boys (well the
only one boy I had experienced). Basically exploring our new sister to
sister relationship. Finally Megan said, "Time to talk about your
breakdown this morning." It was then that I started to remember that
this was not the first time we had a sister to sister relationship.
I think they call it repressed memory. Not sure I believed that was a
thing until my sister started talking about events from my early
childhood. Images flashed in my head. A lot of them were not pleasant.
Megan was telling me how I loved to play dress up with her and how she
and I would pretend to be fairy princesses. That I was the one who
insisted that Megan call me Krissy. That when I was at pre-school I
told everyone I was a girl. And that one day while we were in Megan's
room playing with her Barbies, our father came in and ripped the
Cinderella dress I was wearing and started beating me with one of the
dolls. I ended up in the hospital in a comma.
I had grown up knowing that mom had divorced our father but she never
talked about it. Megan had known why but was afraid to say anything for
fear of hurting me, her once little sister. Now it was all out in the
open. I was going to have to reevaluate a lot of my past, probably with
some professional help. But for the moment, I had the sense that my
crying that morning was about the realization that I was not a real
woman. Not a real woman yet! Maybe someone tried to beat it out of me
once, but not this time!
Chapter 8: My First Circle of Girlfriends
It was a good thing I had taken the whole week off between Christmas
and New Years. It gave me the chance to spend time with Megan. I had
insisted that she stay with me. But she had planned to share a hotel
room with her friends and she didn't want them to feel abandoned. Of
course she didn't want me to feel abandoned either. So in a stroke of
brilliance I volunteered to have all three stay with me. Then I
immediately panicked when I realized that I was about to come out as
transgendered to two total strangers. That I was venturing out beyond
the nurturing environs of Daisy Press. Megan picked up on my distressed
expression and assured me her friends would be accepting. "Besides,
they were getting free board for the week and extra money for shopping.
They might even insist on buying you a pair of heels since you seem to
need lots of them for work" she giggled.
I straightened up my spare bedroom and made the bed in there for the
first time ever. Megan said her friends would sleep there and she would
stay with me. I had a queen size bed, so no problem there. But I was
concerned that the spare bed was too small to sleep two women and I
didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. Megan laughed a bit and
then told me her two friends (her former roommates) were engaged - to
each other. Intimate sleeping arrangements were going to be just fine.
And sensing that I was about to ask a personal question, she said, "No,
I was only into boys in college."
I wanted to make a clever retort but since I wasn't into either sex in
college, I drew a blank. Megan said, "Well at least you've discovered
your gender preference. Maybe we can help you discover your sexual
preference before we leave since I know men and my friends know women."
While we waited for Megan's friends, Beth and Jen to arrive, I decided
I needed to make a call to Sarah. I told Sarah about my gender
revelation, minus some of the more unsettling parts. I wanted to ask
her if her sister Becky would be willing to meet with me and give me
some direction. I knew what I wanted but not how to do it. I think
Sarah was happy to hear from me and if anything I felt that at that
moment she'd adopted me. It was nice to have a mom again. Less than ten
minutes after hanging up, I had a call from Becky. We arranged to meet
for coffee the next morning.
After Beth and Jen arrived with all their's and Megan's luggage (she
had rushed to my apartment and left her friends holding her proverbial
bags) we exchanged introductions and got everybody settled in. Beth and
Jen were delightful, Megan was right about them. During a quick lunch
we threw together, they decided I needed to be "officially" inducted
into the LGBTQ community. And since they were representatives of the
"L" faction they were authorized to perform the ceremony. But in all
seriousness they told me they were there to support me and to encourage
me to true to myself and not to let anyone put me down.
That evening Beth and Jen went out to a local lesbian bar. They invited
me to come along, calling it a sexual preference field trip. But I
demurred in order to spend more time with my big sister. Later I
discovered how thin my apartment walls were. Around 2am I woke up to
the sounds of Beth and Jen enjoying their intimate accommodations. I
gathered that they were giving each other as much pleasure as Chad had
given me. Maybe more. Maybe I should have gone to the lesbian bar after
all!
Chapter 9: I Have A Date!
The next morning Megan helped get ready for my meeting with Becky. I
guess most of my outfits were too dressy and my makeup needed to be
toned down for a casual outing. I didn't have a decent pair of jeans or
a pair a flats. Fortunately with three women staying with me, I
borrowed a few things and then let Megan show me how to just wear a
light foundation and some lipgloss. The one thing they couldn't help
with was making the jeans (courteous of Jen) fit right. Thanks to the
Internet, three bemused women and one fledgling trans woman
figured out how to tuck away the problem. I was really quite happy with
the outcome. I left the apartment wearing skinny jeans (with some
padding), a pink tee layered under a cream sweater, and the cutest ever
ballet flats that Megan said I could keep (not that I intended to give
them back). I walked almost a mile to the coffee shop without once
worrying about getting a strange look. This really was my first time
out with the general public. Being with my coworkers or sales clerks or
even a hairdresser, all of whom were likely aware I was not born a
girl, was wonderful. But that was not the same as the exhilaration of
that simple walk. It was my happiest memory to date.
When I got to the coffee shop I realized I didn't know what Becky
looked like. There were at least four young women sitting alone at the
shop. If I had any thought that I could pick out the one the used to be
a boy, it was quickly lost. One did however look like a younger Sarah.
Same eyes and hair color. I made eye contact and she smiled and waved
me over.
"Sarah texted me a picture of you from work but you look so much
younger. Hi I'm Becky and you have to be Kristen." I smiled and decided
that I loved being called Kristen. I explained how my sister wouldn't
let me out of the apartment unless I dressed more casually. Becky
laughed and told me that Sarah used to do exactly the same thing to her
and how lucky I was to have a big sister to help me. But equally
important, I was about to gain new friend to help me with my new life.
Our coffee meeting turned into an all day affair. I even got to meet a
friend of Becky. Becky had arranged for me to meet with her doctor.
This was quite out of the ordinary but it seems that Becky and Sarah
move in some pretty high powered circles. I left that meeting confident
that I was on the path to a diagnosis of gender disphoria and HRT. By
the end of the day I had a best friend that I could confide in and also
a little bit of a crush (did I mention that Becky was drop dead
gorgeous). I also had a "date" for New Years Eve!
Becky had season tickets to the opera and on New Years Eve they held a
gala after the performance. Normally she went with her sister but Sarah
was hosting a party herself this year. While I like classical music, l
had never been to an opera before. So I was going to get to be like
either Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or Cher in Moonstruck. Which meant
I needed an appropriate gown for the evening. When I told Megan, Beth,
and Jen, they gasped and started making plans for an all day shopping
excursion the next day.
I lost count of how many stores we went to, let alone how many dresses
I tried on that day. Finally there was a consensus amongst all four of
us. I bought a beautiful full length teal blue gown with an empire
waist and shoulder straps. I tried on some strapless dresses but I
decided to wait and buy one as soon as I had real boobs. I couldn't
wait until New Years Eve! Bye the way, Beth and Jen did buy me a my
first pair of Chistian Louboutins (So Kate in navy blue).
Chapter 10: The Princess Experience
Needless to say, I was really excited about going to an elegant gala
just like a real princess. Make that a fairy princess! The thought gave
me a certain satisfaction. If I had any idea where my father was, I
might have been tempted to send him a photo in my gorgeous gown and
heels. But as soon as the thought entered my head, it left even faster.
It was the last time my childhood trauma and perpetrator would ever
come to mind.
However, I was beginning to panic about all of the preparations
required to be a princess, even for just one evening. I had to get my
hair done, my nails done (which I now know to say mani/pedi), a facial
(with my big sis, lots of fun), and break in my new heels. They had a
higher heel than anything I had worn before. I would have just put them
on New Years Eve, fresh out of the box. Thank goodness Megan clued me
in or I would have end up a princess with huge blisters. So while
strutting around my apartment in heels, I made use of the time
listening to excerpts from "Le Nozze di Figaro," the opera Becky said
we were going to see. I guess I wanted to impress Becky or at least not
be totally clueless (I was happy to find out that the soprano doesn't
die in this one so I didn't have to worry about crying and ruining my
makeup).
New Years Eve, Becky arrived at my apartment in a limo. The driver
escorted me down after Megan gave me a long hug and wiped several tears
away. Becky was simply stunning. She was wearing a strapless black
dress with a lace bodice. Her hair was in a chignon. Flawless makeup
highlighted by deep red matte lips. I couldn't take my eyes off her
during the entire ride to the opera house. I was hoping I wasn't making
her uncomfortable, but when we exited the limo, she put her arm around
my waist and said, "Come on gorgeous, let's have a memorable evening,"
and gently brushed her lips on my cheek.
I loved the opera! Of course having Becky hold my hand through most of
the performance added to the enjoyment. At one point I needed to slip a
shoe off and let it dangle on my toes. Becky was wearing delicate
sandals. She discreetly massaged my exposed instep with her toes. I had
had so many new experiences and feelings in such a short time, but what
I was feeling at that moment was different than anything preceding it.
Afterwards, at the reception while sipping champagne, we quietly talked
while gazing at so many beautifully dressed people, commenting on both
men and women. It was obvious the Becky was much more cognizant of the
other women. In our short friendship, I hadn't yet asked about her
relationship with Chad. Nor had she asked about mine. So I, asked.
"Growing up, I was always attracted to girls. But when I realized I was
trans, I questioned whether that attraction was due to my attraction to
femininity. During my transition, I met Chad who, as you know, well you
know. I fully admit that his attention and in his way, love, made me
feel confident in being the woman I needed to be. Chad is a really
great person. He supported and helped me during my recovery from GCS.
He remains one of my closest friends. Afterwards, my feeling of
completeness gave me the confidence, coupled with the knowledge that I
can be loved for who I am, to explore a relationship with another
woman. And by woman, I don't distinguish between cis and trans. We are
all just women."
I didn't quite know what to say, but she said it for me.
"Your life experiences are different from mine. You've only just begun
your transition after an incomprehensibly short time. But I am here for
you. You want to ask if I'm involved with anyone. I've had a few
girlfriends but nothing serious. And, yes, I know we are friends, but I
am attracted to you. Sorry, but that's the way it is."
I was momentarily speechless. But as luck would have it, the count down
to New Years had begun. Under my breath I gasped, "Oh Becky!" and
immediately wrapped my arms around her and kissed her waiting red lips,
thinking, "So this is what it's like to be a princess."
Chapter 11: My Sexual Exploration Continues
As much as we wanted to make love, it was late and we were exhausted.
Besides, it was just our first date. So we immediately made a second
date. Dinner at Becky's place, in two days. I spent New Years Day with
my girlfriends. It was Megan, Beth, and Jen's last day in town and we
spent the entire day in our nighties, sipping mimosas and wine, and
doing each others hair. Ok, they mostly did mine but I did learn how to
put my hair in a chignon like Becky's. Several hours passed before I
finally shrieked at the sight of matching engagement rings worn by Jen
and Beth. Guess they had a very memorable night too. It was going to be
a June wedding and I just might get to be a bridesmaid. No plans yet,
but I had my fingers crossed.
The next day at work, the moment I walked through the door, I was
inundated with questions about New Years Eve and my pending date that
evening with Becky. Apparently Becky shares absolutely everything with
her sister. And her sister seems to share everything with her staff.
"Oh well," I thought, "I'd better be extra prepared for tomorrow
morning's questioning." At least the questions were all good natured.
In fact, I was beginning to suspect that Sarah fancied herself as a bit
of a matchmaker. But when Gwen teased that I'm dating the boss's
sister, a little panic set in. Near the end of the work day, Becky
texted me the directions to her place. In a second text, she said if I
wanted to, I could bring any toys that I had. For a moment I was
puzzled and wondered if she was into Barbie too. Carly peaked over my
should and giggled. Then it struck me, she meant "toys," the adult
variety.
I arrived at Becky's and half expected her to be wearing that black
evening gown. But she was dressed very casually in a sweater, leggings,
and bare feet. I was similarly dressed in a sweater, jeans, and flats.
Ironically, pretty much the same type of things I used to wear as a
boy. She poured me a glass of a delightful pint noir and we sat down on
her couch and started talking about our lives. Becky was so angry when
she heard about my childhood. She had very supportive parents and of
course she had Sarah. She had started wearing girl's clothes at
fourteen and the private school she attended accommodated her. I told
her that my transition was happening now because I had found the same
kind of support structure that she always had. After quite a while, we
just sat there and stared at each other, exploring each others'
features. She told me that when she kissed my cheek the other night,
she was struck by the softness of my skin. I said, "Thanks, I've been
pretty careful to always wear sunscreen and to moisturize daily. Been
doing that for years." She sighed, cupped my face with her hands and
replied, "Girl, you have been transitioning your whole life. You're just
now aware of it."
With that, she gently placed her lips on mine and we kissed. I'm pretty
sure it was one of those kisses from "Princess Bride" perfect. We
lingered on the couch exploring
each others lips and gently probing with our tongues. We entangled our
legs and pressed our bodies together and started to rhythmically move
as one. Becky then slowing took my hand and we walked expectantly to
her bedroom.
"I hope you find lingerie as sexy as I do." she said as she opened the
door. On the bed were several sets of lingerie. "I thought it might be
fun to dress each other." she declared seductively. We can can also
play with makeup and if you are adventurous, there are a few of my
favorite sex toys I'd like to share with you. "Are you planning on
telling you sister about all of this?" I teasingly asked. "No, I think
it would be a good idea to keep some secrets for ourselves." Becky
walked over to her dressing table and picked up the matte red lipstick
she'd worn when she first kissed me. She looked at me and told me to
remove my sweater. After I had pulled it off over my head, exposing my
rather flat chest (no breast forms, just a white pushup bra) I saw that
she had taken off her sweater. There she was, naked from the waist up,
her pert natural boobs just begging to be caressed. Her aroused nipples
waiting to be sucked. She motioned me over to sit down on the bed. She
slowly painted my lips a deep dark red. I painted Becky's fuller lips a
luminous cherry red and then pointed to a red panty and and bra set and
shear thigh high stockings on the edge of the bed. She devilishly
grinned and pulled down her leggings and kicked them to the side. No
undies, and I could see her pussy for the first time and I felt a
tingling from my tightly tucked dick. As she strode past a shear black
lacy corselette with garters and black stockings (no panties) she
smiled, pointed and said, "I want to see you in this."
We sat on opposite sides of the bed and dressed. When I was done, I
turned to see her laying on her side with her hand in her red panties,
watching me. When I laid down beside her, she could see that the one
obvious remnant of my abandoned life was peeking out from under some
black lace, quite excited to be freed from its tuck. "My, my, as they
say, I see you are excited to see me." Becky teased, slowly reaching
over and caressing it. I reached for her left breast and removed it
from the bra cup and felt how firm yet soft it was. "I hope mine are
like this someday," I whispered. "Sweety, you will be amazed at what a
wonder drug estrogen is!"
"So, a few ground rules. We tell each other what we like and don't
like. Saying 'no' is always ok, it will not hurt our feelings. It will
hep us learn and appreciate each other."
I nodded my agreement as a tear or two of joy formed in the corner of
my eye.
"Hmmmm, well I really, really like kissing," I purred as I leaned in,
reached around her head and pulled her lips onto mine. After several
minutes of gentle passion, our kissing became more and more intense.
Our tongues explored and licked. I sucked on her lips and she on mine.
The lipstick I'd put on Becky began to smear from our wet and sloppy
kisses, and if anything she looked even sexier.
Becky put her hand softly around my dick and began to stroke it. "Ok?"
she asked. I smiled and slipped my hand between her legs, resting on
top of her red panties. "Mmm, you're a fast learner," she said as she
spread her legs, encouraging me to rub her mound covered by shear red
lace. As she began to moan, I pressed down firmly and her panties slid
down exposing her pussy. I paused and she laughed and told me to go
ahead, get comfortable and she'd give me a tour. With me positioned
between her wide spread legs, she giggled and pointed saying "This is
my clit. It's important to always remember where to find it. Now, put
your fingers here and start to rub it and follow my lead." I could
hardly believe how much pleasure I was experiencing making her cum.
"Wow! Guess that orgasm was long over due. One down..." she said as she
rolled me over onto my back. She positioned herself between my legs,
licked her fingers, and began to rub the tip of my dick. As I got
harder, she replaced her finger with her tongue, continually flicking
it on my dick like it was a huge clit. Finally she let my dick slip
into her warm mouth and began to take it in and out, faster and faster.
When she sensed that I might orgasm, she rolled over and spread her
legs again and motioned to me. "Time for you second pussy lesson,
finding my vagina."
From her nightstand she grabbed a tube of lube and put a little on my
finger. She pulled the lips of her pussy apart. Next she guided my
finger into her. I pushed until it was all the way in. It felt so warm.
"Now start to fuck me. When I tell you, put a second finger in."
A few minutes later came to request to add a finger. Then she asked for
a third. I was so taken up with her wreathing against my hand
penetrating her vagina, that I instinctively knew when to start licking
her clit. When I thought she was nearing another orgasm she yelled
"fuck me with your dick, fuck me!"
I was so hard and she was perfectly stretched that I penetrated her
with a single thrust. By my fourth deep thrust, cum exploded into her.
I gasped, "I'm sorry! I came inside you!"
She gave me a forgiving look and then reminded me that she wouldn't get
pregnant. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and we began another
kissing marathon.
Becky hopped out of bed and kicked off the panties that were still
wrapped around an ankle, and threw off the bra that had fallen to
around her waist. She ran out of the bedroom, boobs playfully bouncing,
and came back with the bottle of wine and our glasses.
"No fair! I'm nude. You need to be nude too. Take off that lingerie and
stockings!" I eagerly complied, although I made a show out of taking
off my stockings.
"Oooo, cute toes! Can I kiss them?"
I held a foot up to her. She dipped a big toe into one of the wine
glasses and began to suck on the toe. "Very tasty, I think I'll sample
the rest." She worked from one toe to the next. I just knew she could
not reset quoting the children's rhyme, and we said in unison "and this
one went wee wee wee all the way home."
After lovingly looking at each other for a half hour, with several
kisses thrown in (toes might have been involved too), Becky asked if I
was ready for round two. "Oh yes, please! Maybe we could try one of
your toys?"
"Ok, you pick. Let's see, I've got a strap on, several dildos,
vibrators. Anything intriguing?"
"Well, let's see. For now, I sort come equipped with my own strap on,
so we'll save that for another time. How about something we can share,
like this?" I picked up a pink two headed dildo.
"Excellent choice." Becky grinned. "Bring it here and let's get it all
lubed up."
I knew which hole I was going to use, but I asked Becky if I could pick
which of her's we used.
"Only if you pick my ass! It needs some attention. Hasn't had any since
Chad used it."
We each took one end of the pink toy and prepared it with lube. We set
it aside while we began making out again. But first I reached over and
reapplied lipstick on Becky's succulent lips. Her face was still a
beautiful mess of cherry red smears, still turning me on. We sat up
facing each other and scissored our legs. She played with my dick and I
played with her clit. we then started grinding ourselves trying to
stimulate our anal sex holes.
Soon, Becky reached over and grabbed the dildo and started to rub one
end on my anus. As I began to moan and relax, she gently probed the
entry until it popped in. A shiver of pleasure ran up my spine. Becky
then worked the other end into her ass. We both laid back and tried to
push ourselves onto the toy until it had completely penetrated us. Her
hole against my hole, the dildo connecting us a one. In unison we
thrusted against the toy and each other, pounding harder and harder
with each trust. We reached for each others genitals, pleasuring each
other until we could no longer control ourselves. I don't know how it
happened but we came simultaneously with concurrent screams of, "Oh
fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck," rafting through the building.
We rolled over pulled the sheets up, and fell asleep. Sometime during
the night the toy slipped out of us. No matter, we were now joined in
so many ways.
To come:
Krissy is a bridesmaid at a lesbian wedding.
Krissy has to take Angela's place on a sales call.
Kristen gets married.