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Writer's note: This is a stand alone story from the Faith Chronicles.I
changed the name of Lister Rimmer from those stories to Craig Skovranko.
I felt the original name was too clunky. It stopped me from reading the
story when I tried to edit it.
Craig Skovranko's mood was as bad and he was as off as milk left out
overnight. All he wanted was to be left alone, yet he knew that would
not be. Tony Freeman and Rob Theroux, two of the residents smart
asses,of the school, were on his path to his next class. Craig retreated
into his mind because he knew those two were just going to have some
lame comments. Those two had the knack to know exactly when to say
something to get under a person's skin. With how the first week back to
school and his summer went Craig this was the exact time their comment
would get under his skin..
That summer was as bad because Craig lost his best friend Nigel Shaw.
Nigel became Faith, but that was not the cause of them to be friends
anymore. When Faith dropped the name Nigel she also dropped Craig. Craig
was a little hurt when he found out who his best friend really was over
Facebook. That hurt grew a little more when he was not the first person
told, Lisa Martin was.
Even with not being as close to Faith as he thought he was, Craig made
sure he reached out to her. How could he not, she was his best friend.
Someone being your best friend was not dependant on if you were theirs
also. Surely there was a good reason why Lisa was told about Faith
before him. Craig came to the conclusion Faith telling a fellow girl
would have been easier than saying it to a boy. Even if that boy was
Faith's best friend. Craig called to check on Faith and she told him she
was busy.
Craig understood why Faith made the phone call short. The call was a
nice gesture, but inconsiderate. Those two should talk face to face
instead. The boy who would always be there for Faith went right over to
her house. Mr Shaw told Craig that Faith was sleeping. That was not
true, Craig saw that she just posted again on Facebook. Mr Shaw lying
to him added to Craig's hurt feelings.
Craig understood Faith might not want to be his best friend anymore. He
was a boy after all. Their interests were probably not as aligned as
Craig thought they were. Still Craig could be a close friend to her, and
would always see her as his best friend. They shared a past and were
always there for the other. That had to mean something to Faith. Each
time Craig reached out to Faith and was rebutted made him see the past
meant nothing to his former best friend.
Craig made many more phone calls and went over the Shaw's everyday for
the next two weeks. Each time he was denied access to Faith. Each time
that little pain grew more and more until it casted a shadow on his
heart. That shadow made his trips and calls to Faith harder to make
until he quit reaching out to her. Even with loving and caring for Faith
he knew that was not enough to be her friend. For there to be a
friendship between people, both people needed to want to be friends and
sadly Faith did not.
Then a month after giving up on their friendship, Faith stopped over.
Craig did not want to talk with her. Some things are better left unsaid
and saying that you are not a person's friend anymore was one of them.
Craig knew Faith was going to put an official end on their friendship
and that was confirmed when the girl who was casting a shadow on his
door well and heart said she gave him enough time to get over the
change in who she was.
Enough time. Enough time. How full of herself was Faith thinking that
Craig was the one who needed time? Craig showed he was ready for Faith
to be herself right away. Craig was there for Faith as soon as he found
out. He kept on being there for her past showing loyalty to their bond.
Craig refused to believe her rebuff of their friendship until it hurt
too much to deny anymore.
Craig lashed out by calling Faith Nigel, her deadname. That was not
Craig's proudest moment. Angry teenage boys were never known to make the
best decision. That hurt Faith, but not as much as it did Craig. Even
with their friendship being over Craig felt like he betrayed Faith. It
just felt wrong for Craig to now look out for him wanting not being hurt
over Faiths needing for people to accept her for who she was . He knew
that course of action was going to led to less pain for him than hearing
Faith saying they were friends no more.
The hurt boy also made it so Faith would never have the conversation she
came for today. By alluding that he did not believe in people being
transgender. He did this by stating to her to get back to him when she
was over this fantasy of hers. Craig was talking about her thinking that
he needed time. He knew she would take his words the wrong way. The
fantasy was how full of herself Faith was. If anyone needed time it was
her. That hurt him that she tried to pass her weakness off as his.
Craig had enough flaws in his personality that no one needed to add one
which was not part.The boy regretted not letting Faith end their
friendship. It was a sign of weakness to him that he would not let his
friend have closure. He knew that Faith needed a clean slate and not be
burden by promises Nigel made. Stil, letting go of someone he care for
so much was hard on Craig. He wanted to keep believing the fantasy that
they were still friends in a big fight. Having Faith as a friend who was
mad at him was better than her not being his friend.
The new school year started and the right people shunned Craig and the
wrong people wanted to associate with him. Faith never told anyone the
exact conversation which those two had. She only said that Craig would
not talk with her. That was enough for the right people to think lowly
of him. The right people not wanting to talk with Craig along with him
not being around his old best friend was enough for the wrong people to
think highly of him.
A couple of his classmates rode their high horse unto a soapbox to tell
Craig he was wrong not to talk with Faith. He said nothing, those people
formed an opinion before knowing the entire story. Instead of hearing
Craig out, they would accuse him of being in the Church of Whataboutism.
To Faith's friends, her being the first one to cut off communications
was a totally different issue. To Craig's fellow students the fact that
when Faith came over she did not want to talk with him, only at him
would not matter. The only reason she graced Craig with her presence to
end their friendship would be no big deal. There was no need for Craig
to hear that, Faith's actions spoke loud enough to him.
Faith and Craig had two classes together, Geometry and Biology. With the
teachers having alphabetical seating arrangement they had to sit next to
each other. Then there biology teacher, Ms Zambrowski, forced Craig to
be Faith's lab partner. The hurt boy knew what she was doing. Ms
Zambrowski could force them to work together, but she could not force
Craig to be friendly with Faith.
During their first lab, Craig laid down the ground rule as soon as they
were at their table. No talking about anything other than the experiment
they were working on. Faith was happy that Craig used her real name. The
pain of hearing Nigel from someone she cared about was unbearable once,
she could not take it again. She said that they had to say at least hi
to each other to be able to work together. Her lab partner's non-reply
was reply enough for her to know her hypothesis was wrong.
Now after leaving having to work so close with someone who used to be
closed to, Craig had to deal with Tony and Rob. Even with preparing
himself for the lame words coming from the two clowns, what Tony said
got to Craig. If he would have said a bad joke about Craig it would have
been fine. Craig did not care about what two losers said about him. Tony
made the snide comment "Craig, you should not be down that a boy in a
dress would not date him."
Tony went there, he put down someone Craig cared about for being who she
was. That punk dared to claim that Faith was not a woman. That punk was
not man enough to say the put down directly to Faith. Joke or not that
hurt the lady Craig saw as a friend. Not standing up for his friend
would hurt his pride. Craig said, "I would be lucky if SHE wanted to go
out with me."
Tony and Rob loved that the stupid comment made Craig mad. Poking
someone and them not being able to retaliate was great fun. Those two
knew the kids would not start a fight over their jokes. That would come
off as not cool. It would also not be the appropriate response. The
appropriate response would be to say something back to Tony and Rob.
They would not care what was said because they would be enjoying
pressing the other person's button too much.
Rob thinking making another joke was safe corrected Craig by saying,
"Don't you mean HE."
The anger and sadness in craig was more pressurized than a can of shaken
soda. The comment which Rob thought was just harmless fun was him
pulling the tab off of that can. The anger unleashed helped Craig to
make the decision for his fists to explode all over Rob's face. Like a
wise writer once wrote, angry teenage boy were never known to make the
best decisions.
The fight was quick. The other kids in the hall broke it up after the
shock of what was happening worn off. Rob and Craig each got a black
eye. Craig also got a fat lip for his troubles, but Rob got another
black eye from the broken nose which Craig was more than happy to give
him.
All three of the boys were sent the Principal's Office. Ms Ascencio did
not want to suspend Craig. Rob and Tony should have never said anything
transphobic on school grounds. They went too far.Tony and Rob were
relieved when she told Craig the good news. They thought that they would
going to have the same fate. When she gave them five days in school
suspension they cried foul.
Craig not wanting them to get off from the punishment the two trouble
makers earned offered to be suspended also. They needed to pay for
trying to make Faith a joke. Ms Ascencio declined and told Tony and Rob
if Craig gets suspended she would put in their transcripts, the reason
for their expulsion from school was them villating the hate speech
clause of the Student Handbook. Hearing the other option Ms Asencio had
for their punishment quickly snuffed out the protests from those two.
************
High school, was a lot like real life, a place where people spread what
they heard before they got confirmation. Before Craig was back in class,
the kids were talking about how he liked Faith. It would be just two
friends and making sure no one else heard, but it was spreading. That
falsehood did not bother Craig. He knew they were a lot worse girls in
the schools for people to think he liked. Plus after a couple of days
the rumor would die down. The bit of gossip was not juicy enough to stay
in circulation long.
After a bad day to end the bad week of being back to school Craig was
looking forward to going home. As he was leaving the school on Craig
walked by Faith and one of her friends. Seeing his black eye and fat lip
got made Faith tense. She did not want to believe that boy got into a
fight to impress her. If Craig would know better than that. Faith
thought that almost any issue should be solved with anything other than
violence.
Still Craig's actions of standing up for her did not match how he has
been acting towards her. Before her best friend quit talking to her,
Faith would not have thought twice when she heard about the fight. Craig
defending his loved ones was Craig being Craig. With not knowing the
motives behind Craig getting into that fight, Faith felt like she did
not know her best friend. Faith thought that whispers of Craig having a
crush on her might be true.
The girl walking next to Faith, Tara Wolkowski, wanting her friend to
relax tried by getting what she saw was the issue out in the open. "It
is fine that you have a crush on Faith, just admit it and the school
will soon forget you were acting like a jerk. Everyone thinks you are
nice."
Even with not minding people saying he liked Faith, Craig was going to
set the record straight. This was only because Tara was on of those kids
on the high horse and he wanted to, at least, attempt to knock her down.
Plus there was the added bonus of Faith hearing how full of herself she
was. "Tara if I did then I would have no choice but to admit to the
crush. Faith was my best friend and she knows how I acted around girls I
like. Trust me, how I act around a girl I like is not trying to do
everything in my power to not be near her. If she was not so full of
herself Faith would have seen I did not act in that manner.
I also didn't get into that stupid fight to try to impress her. I did it
because, even with how she treated me, I still see her as my best friend
and people were belittling her for who she is. I stood up for someone I
care for. Yeah, it wasn't the smartest way, but I got so mad hearing
those people put down Faith. Trust me, it will not happen again.
Faith had to defend the narrative of Craig having a crush on her. Even
with the action not being right for her lifelong friend, Faith had to
agree with the girl next to her. What Tara said made sense only because
it explained the unexplained. Faith also liked the narrative because of
instead of Craig not wanting to be part of her life, he wanted to be a
bigger part. It hurt too much to think she lost her best friend over
just being who she really was. "Craig instead of acting like a child
you should have told me about the crush. If you did I would have given
you a chance."
"Dammit Faith, you are even more full of yourself now then when you went
by Nigel. You are so full of yourself that you think that I have a crush
on you and that is why I acted like I did towards you. I don't. I just
said I didn't. Why don't you believe me? I have never lied to you about
those things before and am not going to start now. You might not see me
as your friend but I still still you as mine. How could I like you in
that way? How you acted since coming out as who you really are makes me
think that I never even really knew you.
The reason I am acting this way towards you is I am mad at you. I shared
and open up with you and you never did with me. I told you my most
intimate secrets and you did not do the same.I am not going to open up
to someone who had themselves closed off to me. I understand that
showing the world who you really are was scary. When you were ready you
told Lisa Martin instead of me first. Even with you saying I was your
best friend, you told her first. I tried to understand it from your
point of view. I figured for you saying you are a girl must have been
easier to another girl.
Did you come over or even call me next? No, you went on Facebook
instead. Your so called best friend found out from someone else's post.
I didn't believe it because you would have told me. I thought I would
have known. We were best friends. Friends share everything, good and
bad. You didn't share with me.
I called as soon as I read your post and you blew me off when I said I
was coming over. I reached out to you and you said you were not in the
mood to talk to anyone. Yet, so many people posted about how it was
great to chat with you. In reality, you were just not in the mood to
talk with me. When I came over to be there for you, you had your dad lie
about you sleeping. You posted thanking everyone for their support on
facebook right before I knocked. Friends let friends be there when they
need someone. You closed me off.
I waited a couple of days and called you. You did not return that phone
call or any of the others I made. I went over your place multiple times
and you had your dad said some lame excuse. When I called him out he
just lied again.
Then after a couple of weeks you called twice and came over my house
once. You said you gave me enough time to get over the change in who
you are. BULLSHIT, I did not need that time and you knew it. Friends
don't pass the blame to their friends when they mess up.
I fucked up by calling you Nigel. You did not go along when my dad told
the same lame lies your dad told me and I was pissed off by that. Also,
losing you as a friend hurt. You expected me to treat you different than
you. Then again you would, because you are so full of yourself. I should
have let you say your peace that we were not friends anymore. I just did
not want to hear it. Knowing it was bad enough. With you not saying that
I could lie to myself and just think we were in a huge fight."
Faith said nothing as her best friend was opening up to her. The girl
knew not only did Craig needed to get what he was saying out into the
open, but she needed to hear it. What her best friend was saying was a
reality check to Faith. Faith never saw how she treated Craig when she
first came out from his point of view. Her keeping her distance from him
because of fear of rejection was seen as her rejecting him from her new
life. She knew that hurt Craig so much. He wore his heart on his sleeve.
Tara took Faith being open to Craig opening up as her friend not be
strong enough to stand up for herself. Tara was not going to let Craig
walk all over Faith.There was a better chance of Tara and her classmates
demanding that Saturday was a school day then her staying quiet.
"Craig, how you been acting isn't cool. Faith was scared of getting
rejected."
"Well, I was rejected. My best friend rejected me! Is that cool?
Nevermind, don't answer that. You stay out of this. You are not only
full of yourself, but you are full of Faith."
Even with this being a serious moment Faith wanted to laugh so hard at
what Craig said.All she could think of was her dad saying more like full
of something. That was her dad's reply when her mom's cousin Rik would
say he was full of Faith.
Craig attended enough of Faith's family functions to know exactly why
Faith was holding her laughter in. Her dad was right that holy roller
was full of something. He missed how when his best friend could not stop
laughing once it was unbounded from her mouth. Craig wanting to see that
uncontrolled joy for one last time started to laugh as he said, "More
like full of something."
Tara was as lost as a penguin in the Sahara when Faith erupted into
laughter. At least the sudden shift in the mood was a welcome oasis to
the intense heat of the conversation. The sudden shift came from why she
was lost, the inside joke. Inside jokes were like being in a club. They
worked because of how people got membership, by sharing the same
knowledge. That sharing made people closer and inside jokes were a good
reminder.
Trying to put it together Faith said, "I was full of something also.
Craig I know you don't have a crush on me. It just felt better to think
that than you did not want to be my friend."
"You were not the only one who was full of something. I was also. I
didn't even think of how hard you were having it when you came out. I
thought of only how I felt. I thought I was losing my best friend when
you needed that time to be ready to talk with me. I was acting like a-"
The sudden stop came from Craig catching himself before he said bitch.
Craig and Faith used to joke around and call each other bitches when
they showed too much emotions. Even with Faith starting this inside joke
and Craig being the butt of it way more often than her, the sensitive
boy did not want to offend his best friend and Tara.
This pause in the conversation was another reason why Faith waited to
talk with Craig. When her secret was found out by Lisa, Faith was not
prepare to deal with the awkwardness of Craig trying to make sure he was
respecting her. To Faith, nothing about who she was changed so how Craig
treated their friendship should stay the same. The girl who everyone
thought was a boy needed to deal with the public more than Craig being
Craig. The last thing she wanted was to have rumors become facts. As she
worked to make sure everyone knew the correct story she forgot about one
of the most important people knowing it, Craig.
"Bitch. It is fine to say that Craig. It is what we call each other when
one of us, usually you, get too emotional. Nothing has changed between
us and we'll get on each other.
I had so much to handle right away and took you being there for granted.
I did not think of you needing to know what was going on. I did not know
how to tell you everything. I also did not think that you would be able
to help me. I was wrong. You would be able to because you are my best
friend. We are thicker than the thickest peanut butter.
I should have had you help me and explain right away. Lisa caught me
shopping at Grove City Outlet. My dad and me thought we were far enough
away that no one would see us. Lisa caught me with a dress going to the
changing room. I told her the truth. I was sick of lying about who I was
and also been seeing a psychologist. Lying would have been a step back,
plus I could not come up with anything believable. I knew she would have
repeated what she saw. People only tell her secrets which they want out
in the open. I should have let you be there for me."
Tara was lost about what exactly caused the friendship to mend. Knowing
the cause was not significant to her, seeing them reunited was. Wanting
to give the two friends time to catch up Tara excused herself, hugged
Faith and said she will call her later. Tara wanted all the details
which Faith would give about what happened after she left.
Mentioning she would call Faith later gave Tara a great idea. She was
going to call Lisa Martin to tell her all about how Craig stood up for
his best friend, Faith. Lisa having that information would make it get
around so fast; and put Craig back in the good graces of the right
people and make the wrong people want to stay away from him.
As she said goodbye to Craig he stopped her. "Tara I should have never
of told you to stay out of this."
Before he could apologize Tara said, "You were right to tell me, I
butted in between best friends and said you had a crush on Faith. I
should have known you were just standing up for a friend."
Craig knew he would always stand up for Faith but was not sure where he
stood with Faith. Faith adding the other inside joke of how thick they
were made him happy. He knew that they were friends again. They might
not be best friends, but he would always be close with her. Not wanting
to assume Faith wanted to hang out with him, Craig asked her what she
was doing this weekend hoping she had a little time for him.
Faith knew what her BFF was hinting at and could not help herself. She
had to joke around with him. That what those two friends did. That
action should help ease Craig where he stood with her. "Hopefully my
best friend is free tonight, after the game we will head to Mickey Dees
to hang out with our friends."
"Tara should be free, she would not have a date with Troy St Esprit
after he played a game."
"Quit being a bitch, Craig. You are my best friend. If you are free it
would be fun. We can catch up and make plans to hang out tomorrow. I
know you have Gran Turismo Sport and I am dying to play that."
Repeating that inside joke was all the confirmation Craig needed. It
felt so good to Craig his best friend was back in his life. "Faith you
will love the game, I will tell you more about it later. I got to get to
the bus. You will see me in the prep section, helping the cheerleaders
and then we will meet at Mickey Dees."
"Tell me about the game now as we walk to our ride. My dad is picking me
up and would love give you a ride. He wants to see you. He is worried
about you."
Most people would think that this was the first time that Faith and
Craig left the school side by side. Those people would be wrong, they
have left side by side since kindergarten. Faith transitioning into the
woman she always was did not change who she was and their friendship was
the same as it always been once they both were not so full of
themselves.
Barbie
- 19.07.2022
- 7
- 0
