The Monthanizer free porn video

The Monthanizer AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one's a rollercoaster of a story that Areat on deviantart commissioned me to write. The TG elements mostly come later but I think the entire thing is a fun ride. Areat deserves all the credit for coming up with the idea and being patient. I have to admit, I was a bit of a pain to work with. In any case, please enjoy this yarn. * * * Lacey Harris checks herself in the mirror and looks ahead in time to see the light turn green. A horn honks behind her as she eases the car forward. She knows she can trust Helen to deal with these little emergencies, but she also knows it's important to be seen as knowledgeable and competent. At twenty-nine, people often have a hard time excepting her authority. That's why she took the time to get properly dressed before heading to the clothing boutique she manages. Fortunately, her hair and makeup were already done and it was just a matter getting changed. She worries about how Mark will manage with the kids. He's a good man, but he desperately needs polish. He has great potential and, with her help, he can achieve it. The children need a father figure, and she needs emotional support. If their relationship is going to work, he has to learn to be more responsible, to grow up a bit and understand that there's more to life than football. "Men can be such infantile, monosyllabic, simpletons sometimes," she mumbles to herself. Babysitting the kids will be a good test. She wants a man in her life, not another child. * * * It's official. This weekend has gone completely off the rails. These are my thoughts as I watch the kids argue from my vantage on the couch. The six-year-old, Abby, a firecracker with hair so blonde it's almost white, is saying, "You don't hafta egage with any dolls or play dress- up." She holds up a pink plastic ray gun. "I gotta a gun. You like guns, don't cha?" The nine-year-old, Joey, a bit chubby with darker blonde hair, seems to tower over his sister as he says, "That's stupid! It's pink and it doesn't even look like a real gun." He's wearing kids size battle fatigues dappled with camouflage. He rises his plastic machine gun. "This is an AR-15. The law says it's gotta have an orange tip, just so the cops don't think it's real, cuze it looks like a real gun." Abby, who's wearing a summer dress covered with large dots in every color of the rainbow, holds up her ray gun and says, "But it is too real." Joey sneers. "No, it ain't! It's a stupid sissy gun and I ain't going into battle with no stupid little girl with a stupid sissy gun." He gives me a dirty look before marching toward his room, presumably to get back to his PlayStation. I don't think he likes me. I think we should be buddies. His hair is almost dark enough to be brown, and one thing I've learned from my brief experience as Lacey's boyfriend is that in the Kingdom of the Blonde the brown-haired dude does not rule as king. "I am not stupid," says Abby at Joey's retreating back. "You're just a ignorant, monosyllable, simple-pin. This gun ain't pink it's fuchsia!" As I watch this, I know exactly where this day went wrong, the moment Lacey's worthless ex called and said he couldn't take the kids for the weekend. We were going to have some quality couple time. Then, to top it all off, that blasted boutique called her away for some emergency. What choice did I have but to agree to babysit? Women as gorgeous as her don't come available every day and probably never without kids, not for a guy like me. I handle hot asphalt for a living, so I should be able to handle kids, right? In any case, I can't disappoint Lacey again. I had the impression we were having a casual weekend, but when I showed up in a pair of jeans and a Seahawks jersey, the look she gave me made me fear that I'd ruined everything. She has a different concept of casual and seems determined to teach me refined manners or something. I can handle it, but I'm going to have to teach her to chill a bit. A woman like that needs some fun in her life. The pundits on TV are starting to discuss the Seahawk's prospects for the upcoming season. I turn up the volume. Maybe this afternoon won't be such a waste after all. "Wanna play?" I turn and look into Abby's eyes, which a strikingly rich green that put my brown ones to shame, even more so than her mother's. "Um... no. Why don't you go play with your dolls or something?" "I already dressed them. They're color cordinated." "Well dress them again." "I'm bored." Maybe if I just keep my eyes on the television, she'll give up. "I'm sure you can find something to do." "I've gotta gun." She isn't going away. Maybe I should talk to her a bit. Lacey will be impressed if I develop a rapport with her youngest. "Sure kid. That's a terrific ray gun you've got there." I don't think it's the sort of thing her mother would buy. "Did your dad buy that for you?" "Nuh-uh. A weird man dropped it at the playground." "And you didn't give it back?" "Couldn't. He jumped into the air too fast." "He flew?" "No, silly. He jumped into the air. It got all jiggly and he disappeared. It was real strange. He jumped out of the jiggly air and looked around and said something about mall-functions and then he jumped away again and disappeared. The gun fell out of his backpack." I'll humor her. "Did anyone else see this guy?" "Just me. I think it was cuz he was hard to look at. My eyes didn't wanna look at him, but I made them cuz he looked so fantasical. His clothes were violent and azure with lots of lemon yellow. Then he dropped this cool fuchsia gun. It's not pink, you know. It's fuchsia." Her firm stance is somewhat undermined by her dress and thin build. I suspect she weighs considerably less than average for her age. On TV, they're now talking about basketball, of all things, so I figure I might as well continue to humor the kid. I point to the ray gun and say, "Can I look at it?" "Sure." She hands it to me. The gun is heavier than I expected and solidly made. On one side I see the word, MONTHANIZER. Curious. Below that, it says: "WARNING: Do not overuse. Side effects may result." The makers of this toy definitely have a whimsical streak. On the other side is a switch with three settings. The one it's currently on is Rejuve. The other two settings are Reality Mod and Restore. Curiouser and curiouser. I find a flat switch on the bottom of the handle with the word Safety on it. I smile. It's a gun, after all. I give it a push. At first, it resists, then it slides over. On top of the 'Monthanizer,' a red light winks on. Looks like I just scored a touchdown. "Oh cool!" says Abby. She reaches for it. I hold it away from her. "Not yet, kid. I just turned the safety off. I should test it." I might as well play this one to the hilt. I point the gun at a small table where a potted cactus sits. I pull the trigger and the front half of the gun lights up and I hear a wobbly pinging sound. It seems harmless enough, though that noise could get old fast. Abby looks annoyed. "Gonna give it back now?" On TV, they're back to talking about the Seahawks, so I give her the toy. She should be grateful to me for turning it on, at least until the batteries wear out. I barely notice as she points the gun at the cactus and fires it a couple of times. She coos with delight and says, "I can't wait to show Joey. He's gonna be sooo jealous." I glance at Abby and say, "Don't start another fight with your brother." Then I notice the cactus. I know it isn?t big, but I thought it was bigger than that. ?Hands up!? says Abby, pointing the gun at me. They?re talking about baseball now, so I raise my hands. ?What?s the deal, kid?? ?This is a stickup. It?s the kinda game Joey likes playing. I?m practicing. So give me all your money!? ?I?ll have to lower my hands to do that.? ?Okay.? I lower my hands and lunge for her, intending to tickle her. Kids like that, don?t they? The gun lights up with that annoying pinging sound and I freeze. I?m trying to move, but I can?t and a pins and needle sensation is running up my body. My clothes are ballooning around me as everything in the room seems to be getting bigger, including Abby. ?You?re shrinking!? says Abby in a mixture of fear and wonder as she stares with wide eyes. When I can move again, I?m literally buried in my clothes. Fortunately, I manage to poke my head out the top of my jersey. I find the armholes and poke my arms through the short sleeves. I am naked inside this massive shirt that now hangs to the floor like a long robe. The rest of my clothes were piled beneath me. I look around. Everything is so huge, the enormous couch behind me, the sealing far above, and Abby towering over me. ?Wow,? says Abby. ?You?re tiny.? She looks at the gun in wonder. ?This makes you a little kid. You?re way younger than me, like a baby!? My mind races, as I rub my little hands over my soft, round cheeks. It said ?Monthanizer? on it. What if that means one year becomes one month? That would put my physical age at thirty months, which would make me... I do the calculation, which feels oddly difficult... two-and-a-half years old. The moment I think it, I know it must be true. I?m a freakin toddler! I remember that the gun has three settings. The ?Rejuve? setting now makes sense. The other two are ?Reality Mod? and ?Restore?... Restore! I stumble, in my giant jersey, toward Abby and say, ?Pwease, gimme the gun. I can fix this!? ?Nuh-uh,? says Abby as she backs away, holding the gun out of my reach. ?You hafta play with me for a while first.? She has a freaky glint in her eyes. ?I getta say when it?s time for you to be big again.? I take a few steps towards her. ?You gimme dat gun wight... right now, or I?ll...? Abby?s lopsided grin yanks me back to reality as she looms over me. She may be a petite little girl, but she?s a lot bigger than me right now. I?m basically at her mercy. I fight the urge to cry. ?Are you gonna play with me? I could hide this gun so no one?ll ever find it and you?d hafta stay a little baby.? She is enjoying this way too much. ?I?m notta baby!? My head is spinning. A ray gun that can turn an adult into a toddler, how could such a thing exist? ?You?re almost a baby,? says Abby. She grabs my clothes and heads toward her bedroom. ?If you ever wanna wear these again, you better do what I say.? I follow the six-year-old tyrant to her room, stumbling on the hem of my jersey. When we reach the room, I?m taken aback by the walls. ?So much pink,? I mumble. Abby turns a venomous look on me. ?It?s not pink. It?s rose! Don?t be a complete igeramus.? I stand frozen. Abby looks scary. She continues to look at me. ?So what color is it?? ?Um... wose, no rose.? ?Don?t forget. Now sit down there.? She points at a little table with four chairs. Two chairs are occupied by large dolls and a toy tea set is arranged on the table. I walk to one of the empty chairs. I?m glad to sit. I know the chairs are small, but they?re big to me. I?m curious, so I pull a hand back inside the jersey and feel my naked, hairless little body. As a grownup, I was not exactly fit, but my flab didn?t feel like this. My body is very smooth, still sheathed in baby fat. My tiny, hairless genitals seem small, even compared with the rest of me. I look at my chubby little hand. This is real. Abby has put my clothes in a corner of the room by her bed where I can see them. I?m sure she did that to motiv.... make me do what she wants. She is diabol... dia... smart and mean. She returns with a small bundle of clothes. ?What dat fow?? I?m too worried to correct myself. ?These are some clothes from when I was little. You look perfectly poportioned to fit in them.? ?But dose aw guwl?s cwose.? I?m too upset to care about my talking. She sets them on the table. ?They?ll hafta do. I don?t have any of Joey?s.? I try to say no, but Abby says she?ll make me. I get scared and say, ?Okay. But you gotta tuwn yow... turn yow back.? She smiles in trium... triu... because she wins and turns around. The panties are white with little blue hearts on them. I don?t like it, but I don?t want to have no underwear under the pink shorts. I?m glad the hearts are blue. After putting those on, I pull the white shirt over my head. I am mad because it has ruffles on the bottom and a princess on the front of it. I say, ?Dun you have sometin not so guwly... gurly?? She turns around and smiles. ?Nope.? She picks up my jersey. ?At least you?re not dragging this around. Now put on those sandals.? I look at the little purple sandals with bows on them and turn my head up. ?No!? ?I could make you.? ?Aw jus kick dem off!? She looks at me so I get scared and then she says, ?Okay, let?s have a tea party, just like an Alice in Wonderland!? Abby makes me sit at the little table across from her with the two dolls. She says their names are Miss Marple and Baby Jane, which are stupid, girly names. She pretends to pour tea and we pretend to drink. It?s easy to pretend. After a while, Abby looks at me and smiles. ?You?re sucking your thumb. You really are a baby!? I pull out my thumb. I didn?t know I was doing that. I don?t like it because it?s hard to not put it back in. I look at the clock by Abby?s bed. I remember Lacey said she would be back in ?a couple hours? and I remember it was one o?clock. Abby?s clock has the number one and two dots and a number four and a number two. That means... I think as hard as I can... 1:42! So Lacey left... I think... forty-two minutes ago. I?m sure that?s a long, long time. I wish Lacey can come home so she can make Abby fix me. I don?t like being little. I think I have to pee. I don?t want to tell Abby. I pull my thumb out of my mouth. Joey stomps in the door, he?s giga... real big. He has his gun. He says, ?Where is everybody? Did mom?s friend leave? He?s not supposed to do that.? He?s real big and scary, but I get an idea. Maybe he can help me be big again. I stand up and say, ?I yow mom?s fwiend Mawk Smith. Abby make me like dis with gun. It not toy. Make me little.? It?s hard to make words when I?m nervous. His eyes get wide and he looks at me. He looks at Abby and says, ?Where did this baby come from? Is that stupid guy that mom like so much trying to trick me?? I?m not a baby. I pull my thumb out. Abby says, ?It?s not a trick.? She runs over to the little table by her bed and picks up the gun. ?This really did it. I was pretending to be a robber and I shot and he just turned into a baby. It?s magic!? Joey makes a face. ?That?s totally stupid. You think I?m so stupid you can fool me?? He holds up his gun. ?I?m the man of the house. Duke Nukem wouldn?t fall for that stupid story.? Abby gets mad. ?It?s the abstolute truth!? She points the ray gun at him. ?I can make you little if I want.? Joey looks at the light on the gun and says, ?Let me see that.? ?Nuh-uh,? says Abby. ?You stay away. It?s mine.? I don?t like it because Joey looks like he doesn?t even care. Abby is right by me now and I jump up to get the gun. I bump the switch. Abby pulls the gun away and pushes me. I fall down. I try not to cry. Just a few tears get out. I need to pee. Joey tries to make Abby give him the gun. The front of the gun lights up and I hear the noise. Joey stops and doesn?t move. I feel all prickly, but I don?t change and Joey doesn?t get littler. Then he moves again. He looks around like he?s all mixed up and says, ?Why is Mark wearing girl?s clothes? Are you playing dress-up with him again?? Abby looks worried. She says, ?We?re just playing.? ?Well he?s my little brother too. And I don?t want you making a sissy out of him.? Abby looks surprised. I did move the switch on the gun. It must be different but not right to fix me. I think there was a middle part on it. I?m so mad that I cry. I pee and the shorts get warm between my legs. I suck my thumb and I don?t even care. ?See?? says Joey. ?You made the little squirt pee his pants. I better get a diaper.? He walks out of the room. I sit on the floor where I fell down. Sucking my thumb helps me to not cry more. Abby looks like she?s thinking hard because her eyebrows are scrunched together and she keeps looking at me funny. Joey comes back with a blue diaper. He makes Abby look away while he pulls the shorts and panties off me. He puts the blue diaper on me. It?s a pull-up. I?m happy it?s not pink. I say, ?Joey. Peese hewp me. I was big befow. Dat gun make me littow an den make you fowget. Gotta get it. Gun make me gwon-up!? Joey smiles. ?That?s a funny game, squirt. When I?m a grown-up, I?m getting me a real gun, not that sissy toy Abby has.? ?It twu! Am weally big.? I point to where Abby put my clothes. ?See? Doze my gwon-up cwose.? He looks over where I pointed and then smiles. ?Sure, squirt. Those are grown-up clothes.? I look and see two things at the same time, my big clothes and some little clothes. I guess Joey only sees the little clothes. The gun did not only make Joey remember wrong. I think maybe that?s how come Joey could get a blue diaper for me. I want to cry some more so I suck my thumb because it?s better than crying. Joey turns to Abby, who?s watching us with the ray gun held up ominou... omi... in a scary way, and says, ?I?m gonna play more Duke Nukem. Just remember mom left me in charge.? After he goes, Abby giggles. ?It?s so cool!? she says. ?He thinks you?re our little brother and it did more than that.? She holds up the gun. "This is just the neatest superpower ever.? I pull out my thumb and ask, ?Can I be big again?? I think she will say no. ?Not yet. You need to play with me more and I want you to pretend you?re really my little brother who likes to dress in any clothes I want.? She wants me to be a doll for dress-up. Okay. I can pretend I like it. I can act just like a two-year-old who was never even big. I can be smart. Abby puts the gun on the table by her bed. Then she gets a plastic box that?s full of Barbie dolls. Then she gets another box and it?s full of Barbie clothes. She puts the Barbies and clothes on the bed. Abby gives me a Barbie and says to put clothes on it. I?m happy to change their clothes and not mine. It?s hard because my fingers aren?t as smart as before. Abby laughs when I put a yellow shirt and a purple skirt on my Barbie. She doesn?t call them yellow and purple but that?s what they look like. After a while, she takes me to a toy box and there are blocks with lots of colors and even some toy cars. She lets me play with them on the floor and she goes to put her dolls away. I?m need to get the gun, but I forget because there?s lots of toys. It?s easy to pretend to be little when I have blocks to pile up and knock down and cars to push around. I?m really, really good at pretending to be little. There is even some Lego blocks that are so big that even my not smart hands can put them together. Abby says I have to come to the bed. A bunch of little girl clothes are all over it. I try to pretend I?m happy. It?s too hard. ?No! Dun wan mow guwl?s cwose!? Abby frowns. ?You hafta pretend. I?m going to be the mommy and you?re going to be the little girl. And I?m going to dress you up for a party.? ?I ca pweten ta be a boy an get dwessed fow pawdy.? ?Silly little baby,? says Abby. ?I don?t have boys clothes. Just pretend you?re a little girl.? My eyes get tears in them and everything looks blurry. ?When yow mommy get home, she make you fix me.? Abby looks like she has the best toy. ?The ray gun is in the middle setting. Bet if I use it on mom, she?ll think you?re my little brother just like Joey. After I shot him, your eyes got the same color as mine. Maybe if I shoot Mom you can be my real baby brother.? I?m scared and let Abby take the stupid Princess shirt off me and make me wear a purple dress and a lace headband with a pink flower on it. She makes me wear the purple sandals with bows on them. She makes me look it the big mirror on her wall. I look like a stupid girl with short hair and my eyes are so green. They?re not supposed to be green. I don?t like it. I stick my lip out and tears come out of my eyes and I can?t see myself very good anymore. I feel Abby kneel down beside me and put her arms around me. That feels nice. I don?t want it to feel nice. ?It?s okay little Marky," she says. "Maybe if you play with me a little longer I?ll fix you.? I rub my eyes with my fists because my hands aren?t very smart. I want to know when Lacey is coming back. I look at the clock and see a shape with two dots and then two more shapes. I frown because I don?t understand it. ?What?s wrong?? says Abby as she looks at the clock. I pointed at it. ?Wha time it?? ?Oh,? says Abby, ?it?s two twenee-siks.? I think hard. When Lacey left, it was one clock and now it?s two clock and something. I don?t know how long ?a couple hours? is. I don?t like it. I want my mommy. My mommy is in Santa Monica. That?s far, far away, lots and lots of ?miles.? I don?t know what ?miles? is. I don?t like it. I don?t care that I?m sucking my thumb some more. Abby takes me to the table and makes me sit and brings some coloring books. I forget to be sad when I see the crayons. Abby opens my book to a picture of a pony and say?s to color it. ?Here,? says Abby. She puts some crayons by me. ?This one is akwamereen, this one is amithist, this is lemon-yellow and this one is birgundee.? I see a blue one and a purple one and a yellow one and a dark red one. I?m excited to color. We color. I try to stay in the lines. My fingers are not very smart and it?s hard and I go outside lots. When I?m all done my pony is purple and her hair and tail are red and yellow. I make it blue behind, but it?s just scribbles. ?Now,? says Abby. ?Let?s sign our pictures.? She starts to draw at the bottom of hers. I pick up the red crayon and look at the bottom of my picture. I start to scribble but I can?t remember how to draw my name. I don?t like that. I look at the gun by the bed. I scribble more. Abby looks at my picture and says, ?Can?t you write your name? I?ll do it.? She draws some shapes at the bottom of my picture. I need the gun. I say, ?Pway dwess-up now?? Abby smiles. ?Don?t like that you can?t write anymore?? I nod. I don?t want to wear girl?s clothes. I?m smart. Abby is looking at her clothes and picks up a light pink dress. ?I love this carnaashun one,? she says. ?I wish I could still wear it.? I let her take off the headband and purple dress and put on the light pink one. The dress has a big flower on it. I feel embarr... emd... stupid. ?You don?t look right with that dumb boy?s hair,? says Abby. She looks at the stuff on the bed. ?You need another headband.? She smiles. ?Here?s a nice lavinder one.? She picks up a light purple headband with a big flower on it. I don?t want to wear another headband with a flower on it. My face gets hot. Crying comes out of me. I put my hands over my head and say, ?No, no, no! Dun wan headban! Dun wan Flowow! Uma boy!? Abby is quiet. I get scared and look up. She is frowning and is very big. I shake. Abby says, ?If you contiyou to be obstinant there will be konsekwenses!? I think she likes big words. They?re too hard for me. She?s scary and I shake. I pee again and the diaper gets warm. I put my thumb and my mouth and suck fast. Abby smiles. ?That?s better.? I close my eyes hard and she puts the headband on me. When I open my eyes, she says, ?You?re just adorabel now. I think I?ll call you Daisy.? I close my eyes, but the tears get out. ?You better smile, Daisy. Or I might take longer to make you big again.? I pull out my thumb and try to smile as hard as I can. She makes me turn around so she can look at all of me. She says, ?I think to make this compleet, you need a dolly.? I look and think. The gun is by me. I point at the other side of the room and say, ?Can I ha dat doll?? Abby looks at the doll up on the dresser. ?Oh, I love that one. It?s perfikt.? She goes to get it. I turn around and get the gun. I look at the switch on the side. I look at the tiny shapes by the switch. I don?t understand them. I can?t remember which way to move it. ?Hey!? says Abby. ?Bad boy! Give me that!? I move the switch. I look and see Abby running at me. I point the gun and pull the trigger. The gun makes light and noise. Abby stops. Abby doesn?t move. Abby gets littler. Abby is tiny inside her clothes. I moved the switch the other way. I turn the gun at me. I push the trigger. The gun makes more light and noise. I can?t move. I feel prickly. My clothes get tight. The dress and the wet diaper rip and fall off me. For a moment, I stand with my eyes shut, disoriented. I need a couple minutes to recover my senses. Finally, I open my eyes and take stock. I?m naked in a little girl?s pink-walled bedroom. Okay, rose walled bedroom. No, rose pink. It?s rose pink, you little color-coordinated fascist! The room seems much smaller now, but still big for a child?s room. Toys are everywhere. Toddler clothes are scattered over a good-sized bed with a multicolored rainbow of a bedspread. In one corner sits the little table with its tea set and four small chairs, two occupied by large, expensive-looking dolls. If your mom gets divorced, there is nothing like parental guilt. You can make out like a bandit. The torn little dress lies on the floor at my feet, burst as if I had been Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. The little sandals suffered the same fate. Sudden growth can be hell on footwear. I look at the wet diaper, open on the floor. I pissed myself twice in less than an hour. Does that gun give free refills or something? I realize it could?ve been real bad if I had gone poopy... if I?d had a bowel movement. I shudder at the thought. I look at the pink ray gun I?m still holding. My mind is reeling from the hangover of having a two-year-old?s brain for the last hour. This is godlike power and a million questions should be running through my mind, but all I can think of is and that Abby is a stinky head for being so mean to me. I fight the urge to put my thumb and my mouth. I have to make a grown-up decision here. Abby wasted no time being corrupted by this thing. Being in her power reminds me of that author in that movie, the one where he?s held prisoner by a crazed fan. What was it called again? Oh yeah, ?Misery.? I?m pretty sure that I?m not immune to being corrupted. I try to consider the problem, but thoughts of eternal youth mingle with the terror of playing with unknowable fire. One thing I am sure of, once I can think clearly enough to restore things to normal, I need to get rid of this gun so no one ever finds it again. I set it on the bedside table and kneel next to the struggling bundle inside Abby?s clothes. She had been frighteningly close when I pulled the trigger. If the gun had been sent to Restore instead of Rejuve, I probably would?ve been screwed. I gently maneuver Abby?s head out through the neck hole of her dress. She doesn?t look directly at me and seems lost in what must be a deeply confusing situation. Being shrunk into a two-year-old is bad enough, but a six-month-old? She seems to be trying to talk. All the comes out is, ?Wa haa. Wee cu aa gaa aaa. Ma! Maa!? I suspect her mind is regressing quickly. Any moment now, instinct will kick in and she?ll start bawling loud enough to be heard down the block. I clear a spot on the bed and put her gently, clothes and all, on it. I head over to where Abby left my clothes and grab my jockey shorts. As I pull them on, I can?t shake the feeling that my flabby, hairy adult body is disgusting. My little toddler body had been so smooth and tidy. I feel like a big gross, lumbering troll. What would Lacey think if she found me like this, the boyfriend she had left to watch her kids, in her daughter?s room in his underwear? That would be just... I hear the front door open and Lacey?s voice call, ?Mark? I?m back! Is everything optimal?? Optimal? I?m reminded of why Abby sometimes talks like she swallowed a thesaurus and chocked on it. Crap! As Lacey?s footsteps come closer, she calls, ?Mark?? I rush to pull on my pants. I try to think of some good answers for her inevitable questions but my sluggish mind comes up blank. It?s fourth and long and I don?t have a play. Lacey, very image of blonde perfection in her maroon skirt suit with shiny black pumps, stepped through the door of Abby?s room. Her mouth drops open, and her beautiful eyes grow wide. I finish doing up my pants and say, ?I know wa dis looks like, bu I ca expain... I can explain.? She crosses her arms and frowns. ?Okay. You can commence by explaining where Abby is.? As she looks at me, her perfect eyebrows go up. ?What happened to your eyes?? That is Abby?s cue to start bawling as loudly as I feared. Lacey looks at the bed. ?What?s going on? Whose baby is that?? She does a double-take. ?She looks familiar.? I grabbed the Monthanizer, exhibit A, and do my best to explain. My mind is starting to recover, but not enough to make up a convincing story, so I settle for the truth. Yeah, I know, it?s a fool?s errand. Still, I launch into my story stumbling over the stubbornly persistent toddler speech. She looks about as convinced as you would expect. She says, ?Mark, this is serious. That story is nonsensical and slipping into infantile speech patterns isn?t making it any more credible. You will inform me as to the location of my daughter and whose baby that is and then you will vacate the premises immediately!? I?m not surprised that our relationship is over, but I can?t let it end like this. I need proof. I point the gun, which is still set to Restore, at Abby and pull the trigger. Lacey?s gorgeous green eyes widen as the gun lights up and makes its usual sound. Abby grows into her dress, though her arms are straitjacketed inside. Her cry morphs into a scream of rage. She stares daggers at me and says, ?Yow bad! Yow bad man! Bad bad bad!? She turns to her mother. ?Mama! Mawk tuwn me inta a baby! He bad!? She struggles in the dress unable, in her rage and disorientation, to figure out how to get her arms into the sleeves. I glance at Lacey. Her face is frozen in shock. I wonder if I could zap her with the gun and make her forget all this. That could backfire spectacularly. I set the gun on the bed, and try to help Abby free her arms. Maybe I can redeem myself a bit. I feel something brush past me and glance up. Lacey is still looking shocked and confused by the door. I look behind me and get a shock of my own. Joey has slipped in unnoticed and now has the Monthanizer. He?s playing with the settings switch. By the look in his eyes, he must?ve seen me restore Abby. Lacey also notices Joey with his new armament. She?s processed enough to know that this is a bad thing. ?Joseph Harris!? she shouts as she rushes toward him. ?For God?s sake, put that horrible thing down!? This startles Joey and his videogame reflexes kick in. The gun lights up with its familiar sound. Lacey freezes and rapidly shrinks. In a moment, a small, toddler-sized form is struggling inside her pencil dress. ?Mommy!? cries Abby who?s managed to get an arm through a sleeve. Joey looks horrified. I don?t hesitate. I snatch the gun from his hand, set it to Restore, and turn it on Lacey. The little bundle inside the dress goes still and then grows back up. Her blazer and shoes remain on the floor while Lacey?s struggles to her feet in a dress that?s now on sideways. One of the straps of her bra sticks up in front. The gun is starting to feel warm and a memory nags at me, but I?m too preoccupied to think about it. I step forward to assist Lacey. I?m still a bit clumsy from my toddler time, so it?s harder than it should be. I hear Abby shout, ?Stay away from Mommy, you meanie!? She slaps at my arms and lower body. Multitasking is hard. In my efforts to help Lacey and fend off her daughter, I drop the gun. Big mistake. Lacey almost has her dress and bra back in place, I don?t think about the panties, when I hear Abby shout, ?Give me that! It?s mine!? I look around and see that Joey has the gun again and is he fiddling with the switch in hypnotic fascination. Abby charges him and, with a gunslinger?s reflexes, he raises the Monthanizer and pulls the trigger. Abby should really stop running at people when they?re holding that thing. She freezes and shrinks into her dress. ?Oh God, no,? says Lacey who still seems to be in shock. That doesn?t stop her from making the terrible decision to charge to the rescue. Joey reacts and Lacey is again reduced to a toddler cocooned in adult-size business-wear. All this is too much for Joey and he starts to cry, then his eyes grow wide in horror at being such a baby. I?m too far away to grab the gun and it would be unwise to rush him, so I say, ?It?s okay, Joey,? in my most soothing voice. ?Give me the gun and we can fix this.? He immediately assumes a commando?s stance and points the Monthanizer at me. ?You?re little Marky. You?re supposed to be my little brother.? How did he connect me with that toddler? I say, ?Why would you think that? I?m Mark Smith, your mom?s boyfriend.? He frowns. ?I ain?t stupid. I saw what this gun can do. You got Marky?s hair and Marky?s green eyes. This gun just made you big. I can fix that.? My eyes are still green? Crap. I slowly raise my hands. ?Listen, that thing makes people younger and restores them. ?Monthanizer? is printed on the side of it for a reason. One month per year. That?s why your mom is now a two-year-old and your sister is a six-month-old. Get it? You were hit by the middle setting which changed your memories. You only think I?m your little brother.? He glances at his mom and little sister on the floor. He looks uncertain. I?m making progress. I keep my hands up where he can see them and, taking a step closer, say, ?If I?d always been a little kid, could I talk like this, reason like this? See what I mean? I?m really am a grown-up. So gimme dat way gun.? Damn toddler speech. Joey?s expression hardens. ?You?re lyin?. You are too my little brother.? I kneel next to little Lacey who?s trying to struggle free of her dress. She?s starting to cry and I can hardly blame her. I gesture toward her. ?If you set the gun to Restore and shoot your mom with it, she?ll grow right back up.? Once she?s herself again, she can explain who I am to this stubborn little gun-nut. He thinks for a moment then flips the switch and says, ?Okay.? I step out of the way, as I don?t know what being hit by the Restore setting twice in a row would do. The gun lights up and makes the usual noise and Lacey?s crying cuts off and she starts to grow. I step toward her to help when I hear Joey say, ?Stay away from her!? I stop. ?If you want to be with mom, I can fix you too.? He flips the switch again. ?No, wait! That?s the wrong setting to fix...? The Monthanizer does its thing yet again and I freeze. The familiar pins and needles feeling rolls over me and everything gets big. ?This thing is getting real hot,? says Joey as his mom struggles to adjust her clothing again. I pull the top of my jeans up to my little chest as I sit on the floor. This is a disaster. I had almost adjusted back to adulthood. If anything, I feel even tinier. I desperately want to stick my thumb in my mouth as I brush hair out of my eyes. Why did my hair get longer? Abby starts to cry and that draws Joey?s attention. He adjusts the switch on the gun and fires it. In a few moments, Abby is sitting on the floor, once again tied up in her dress and still crying. Joey drops the gun and says, ?Whoa, Hot!? I call out to Joey, ?Fix me too!? My toddler voice sounds so ridiculously high. ?You?re already fixed, squirt,? says Joey. ?Den hocum you changed da setting ta make me little. Da Westow shoulda done dat.? That?s sound logic, even from tiny me, and he frowns. ?All right.? Lacey has managed to mostly get her dress fixed. ?I demand to know what?s going on! Has the world gone mad?? It?s hard not to stare at her boobs. They look nice. Abby, who?s also fixed her dress, has snuck behind Joey and grabs the gun, almost dropping it while saying, ?Ow, ow, ow, hot!? She holds on and points it at Joey. ?You turned me into a baby,? she says. ?I should make you a baby.? Joey turns his back on me to look at Abby and says, ?Give me that. I know how to handle guns. I?m the man of this house. You hand it over!? Lacey, confused and disoriented, says, ?Pwease... please children. Don?t be so loud.? I want to snuggle her boobs. Can?t I have just one to snuggle? I notice that my hair is much, much longer and is the same color as Abby?s. Something feels wrong on me. I put my hand between my legs. My pee-pee is gone! I?m all different down there. I remember the warning on the gun. It has malfun... mal... worked wrong. It made me a yucky girl. I need to fix it now! I stand up, all naked, and run to Abby to get the gun. I need it. Lacey is saying, ?My God! This is not happening!? Joey and Abby are still yelling mean things. I run past Joey and the gun lights up and makes noise. I freeze and get all prickly. I grow. I?m an adult again. I look around and see that Abby has dropped the overheated ray gun. I hear a scream from Joey. When I look his way, I see that he has long, straight, blonde hair that flows past his shoulders. He looks much thinner than he did before and his face has a softer jawline. He?s holding both of his thin hands to the crotch of his overlarge battle fatigues as he says, ?My wiener is gone!? His voice is higher. ?I can?t be a girl. I?m the man of the house!? This calls to mind my own situation as I realize that my adult body is very different. My long blonde hair is hanging over my eyes as I hold one arm across my substantial breasts and my other hand over my flat crotch. I see myself in the full-length mirror on the wall. Not only am I a woman, but I could be Lacey?s sister. Lacey towers over me and, based on what I know about her dimensions, if I?m over five feet and a hundred pounds it?s not by much. My face is incredibly cute even without makeup. My breasts are really nice. I love how they feel. It?s weird that I seem to be more into breasts now than I was as a man. Maybe I should be grateful that that overcooked Monthanizer is malfunctioning. Otherwise, I might?ve ended up as a two-month-old infant. I desperately hope the Restore setting can fix this. I decide that there?s no point in trying to cover myself. We?re all girls now. The gun is still on the floor but, before I can grab it, Lacey surprises me by beating me to it. ?My goodness,? she says, ?this is terribly hot. I think we should let it cool.? I couldn?t agree more. ?No!? says Joey in her high girl?s voice. ?I can?t be a girl!? She tries to grab the gun, catching Lacey by surprise. It goes off again and Joey freezes. In a few moments, there?s a pile of kids battle fatigues on the floor with a squirming, presumably, nine-month-old lump in the middle. A shocked Lacey grimaces with pain. The gun must be getting hotter. ?You need to put it on the Restore setting,? I say in a voice that sounds similar to Lacey?s but higher. Lacey looks at me with wide eyes and says, ?Who are you and what are you doing in my house?? She points the Monthanizer at me. I might as well forget the whole modesty thing. I hold my small, delicate hands up in a placating gesture. I seem to be doing that a lot. ?It?s all right Lacey,? I say. ?It?s me, Mark.? It sounds ridiculous when I say it with this voice. ?Didn?t you notice? I was here then I was shrunk and now I've grown up again, but there?s been a glitch. I?m not exactly myself at the moment.? Lacey looks confused and uncertain. ?The gun can fix everything, Mom,? says Abby. ?Give it to me and I?ll fix it.? ?Quiet, sweetheart,? says Lacey. ?Mommy?s trying to think.? ?But I can fix it!? She grabs at the gun, causing Lacey to reflexively squeeze. It goes off. Of course it does. I feel the paralysis along with the pins and needles and then I?m back to looking up at both Lacey and Abby. I?m definitely tinier than I was as a boy. Lacey drops the overheated gun. We really should wait for it to cool down. Little Joey starts to cry inside the clothes. Lacey crouches down and gently disentangles the crying baby. She stands up, holding little Joey in her arms and looking at her in wonder. Joey stops crying and stares back into her mother?s eyes. Lacey says in a low voice, ?The world really is going crazy.? I wish I could be that close to Lacey?s boobs. They look so, so nice. I stick my thumb into my mouth and suck hard. ?The gun will fix it,? says Abby. ?We can fix Joey with it.? I pull my thumb out and say, ?Me too!? Abby doesn?t look at me. She picks up the gun, which must be a little cooler, and points at the switch. ?These are the settings. I think the middle one will fix it cuz it says ?Reality Mod.? I think that means it will make reality right again.? Lacey looks at the gun over baby Joey and says, ?That makes sense.? I know that?s not right. The other setting will fix us. The middle one is bad. I don?t like it. ?No!? I say. ?No middow. It wong! Westow. Wesow! Talking is hard when I?m scared. Lacey takes the gun from Abby with her free hand and looks closer at it. ?Wesow!? I say, ?Wesow! Yo nee ta se it ta Wesow!? Lacey turns and looks at me. I shiver when she looks at me. I want to tell her about Restore, but I also really, really want to snuggle her boobs. My mouth waters. I say, ?Se it Wesooo!? She can?t understand. She looks at Abby and says, ?Okay, we?ll use the middle setting.? I?m mad. ?No! No! No middow! No mioow!? Talking is even harder when I?m mad. I want my mommy. I want to cuddle her boobs. I try to be calm. Lacey puts Joey on the bed. And looks at the switch on the side of the gun. I talk careful. I say, ?Do... No... Use... Da... Middow... One!? Lacey and Abby look at me. I did it! I talked good! I shake from happy. I look at Lacey?s boobs... at Lacey and say, ?You... Mus... Use... The... Snuggle-boobs.? No! My mouth waters more. ?Usa weesaaaa!? Lacey looks back at the gun. Abby says, ?Use the middle setting, Mom.? Lacey nods. Crying gets out of me and I stamp my foot and say, ?Yuuw gotta uuuse da waaaaaa...!? I cry loud. I need snuggle-boobs. No! I need to be big again. ?Don?t worry Marky,? says Abby, ?We?re gonna fix everything.? Lacey points the gun at Joey. I know it?s all wrong. I?m scared. My face feels hot because of crying. It?s hard to see with the water in my eyes. I run at the door. I get in the hallway and run some more. The noise from the gun is too loud. I hear a windy sound. I fall down. I feel prickly all over. I stand up. I?m still little. I have clothes. I?m wearing a pretty green dress with a green ribbon in the middle. I have pretty red princess shoes. My hair is up with a clip. It has a pretty bow on it. I?m not supposed to like it because I?m not supposed to be a little girl. I?m supposed to be a grown-up man who likes football because football shirts are pretty. My name is Marcy Harris. No! Not Marcy, Marcy! I?m Marcy! I?m really a big girl, I mean man. I?ll make them fix it because it didn?t work right. I walk back to Abby?s room. Mommy?s clothes are real neat again. She has opened her front and is giving little Josephine suckling. I want some too. Josephine is wearing a pretty pink onesie. That isn?t right. She?s not supposed to be a baby and get all the suckling. I don?t like it. I?m supposed to be all grown up like Mommy. Why won?t Mommy give me suckling with her snuggle-boobs? I want it! Abby is playing with the ray gun. I need it to fix me. I run to Abby and say, ?Gimme dat. We nee ta set it ta westow.? Abby is too big for me to take it. ?No,? says Abby. ?It?s mine. Go play with a doll.? ?Abby,? say?s Mommy, ?Don?t be mean to your sister. She?s just little and doesn?t understand. You need to be kunsiderit. You?ve played with the ray gun long eenuff. Let her have it for a while.? Is she my Mommy? I maybe had another mommy before. I?m scared to think that. ?But Mom,? says Abby, ?Marcy has her own stupid toys.? ?Are you the toddler?? says Mommy. ?Now be a good, reesponsibul sister and let her play with it. I just finished deeling with a feendishly difikult mix-up at the booteek. I?m egsosted and I need to finish feeding Jose.? I wish Mommy can give me some too. I need to think about the gun but it?s hard because I want suckling. Abby looks mad at me. ?Oh all right. You just better remember that it's not pink, it's fyusha!? She gives me the gun and goes to her dolls. The gun is real light. I look for the switch. I can?t find it. I don?t see the red light. I keep looking for the switch. I need it to fix me! I can?t find it. I put the gun down and cry. I pee. My diaper is warm. Mommy finishes giving Josephine suckling and puts her on the bed. I didn?t get some. Mommy picks me up. She feels my bum. She tells Abby to watch the baby. She puts me down. She goes out of the room. I sit on Abby?s bed and suck my thumb so I can stop crying. Mommy comes back with a pink diaper. It has a princess on it. It?s a pull-up because I?m a big girl. Mommy takes the wet diaper off me. Mommy puts the new diaper on me. I take my thumb out and say, ?Mommy, can I ha suckowing?? ?Not now sweetheart.? I suck my thumb more so I don?t cry. How can I get fixed? The gun is broke. I pull my thumb out of my mouth and say, ?Peese Mommy. Fix gun. It bwoke. Nee ta ge big.? Mommy can?t understand. She picks up the baby. I don?t like it. I want her to pick me up... and fix the gun and give me suckling. I cry some more. ?Stupid baby,? says Abby. She is talking about me. I don?t like that. I cry louder. I can?t see because of the water. I feel something go in my mouth. I stop crying because it?s my soother and I like it. I think I?m not supposed to like soothers. I don?t care because my soother is good. Mommy picks me up with her other arm. I like it. I hug Mommy. Mommy will make it better. Maybe Mommy can let me have suckling. She says, ?Come on Abby, it?s bath time. We?ll have a comuunal bath. I could really use your asistanss with the little ones and I need to get out of these work clothes.? * * * Lacey kneels on the floor of the bathroom next to the tub as she washes ten-month-old Josephine with the help of her six-year-old, Abby. Two- year-old Marcy splashes in the water. Fortunately, she?s quiet as long as she keeps that soother in her mouth. Lacey is relieved to have gotten out of her work clothes and into a T- shirt and leggings, which feel wonderful. She?s so grateful that Paula, the teenager next door, was available to babysit on such short notice so she could deal with the crisis at work. Marcy spits out her soother and starts fussing about that stupid toy ray gun again. Lacey groans. How could a hollow plastic toy cause so much commotion? She wishes she?d never gone to Dollar World that day. Abby had wanted the thing so badly and it was cheap. She?d had no inkling that Marcy would fixate on it like this. Her life sure has become complicated. This is not where she expected to be at twenty-six, a single mother trying to be taken seriously, despite her youth, after being promoted to manager at the boutique. Sometimes she feels like she should be older. She rinses the soother under the tap and puts it back into the cranky toddler?s mouth. Marcy becomes quiet again. Lacey reflects that those huge, luminous green eyes staring at you from that impossibly cute little round face can be so deceptive. She can melt your heart one moment and drive you crazy the next. Do all mothers feel this way? ?I swear,? she says to the tiny blonde, ?I hope Jose isn?t as fretful as you are when she reaches the terrible twos.? Marcy is much smaller than Abby was at this age, but when it comes to tantrums, she?s truly a mighty mite. The precocious, little drama queen is also proving stubbornly difficult to wean. Abby had been easy, but Marcy kicks up such a fuss that Lacey still occasionally gives in and lets her nurse. She suspects it?s because she?s jealous of Josephine. Finally, she sighs and says, ?What a frustrating situation. I would give a lot to have a man in my life, if only to babysit!?