The Silken Trap free porn video

The Silken Trap Weave the web, but beware that you don't get caught in it. Janet L. Stickney [email protected] As much as I didn't want to do it, I was driven to it, the decision was out of my hands. I opened the door, looked both ways, and stepped out into the night air. With the door closing behind me, the soft whisper of the lock as the door closed behind me, I was, at last, outside. I stood there, terror in my heart, yet with my compulsion pushing me, I stepped, one foot after the other, until I reached the sidewalk, trying desperately not to run back in the house. Moonlight bathed me in the soft glow of the night sky, hiding my now damp clothes, the sweat on my brow, and the shaking of my knees as I walked all the way to the corner, turned, walked, turned again, then made the last turn. When I reached the back door, I went in, then stood leaning against it, panting from the excitement that covered me. I went to my room and stood in front of the mirror, just staring that the girl that had foolishly made me leave the safety of the house. She isn't real tall, maybe 5'7" or so, brown hair neither short or long, nice legs though, an almost shapeless figure with uninspiring breasts, made evident by the too tight blouse. The skirt, the hem at mid thigh, revealed her legs, now tan because of the pantyhose, but did not hide the shaking. On her face were the remnants of makeup that once made her look pretty in an odd sort of way. I stood there, afraid and elated at the same time, my unrepentant vision of myself as a girl not swayed by the travesty of a girl I was looking at, yet I knew that I had conquered one of my greatest fears. I was afraid of being discovered, a boy in a skirt and blouse, makeup and perfume, afraid that someone might find out, afraid that I would be labeled something bad, afraid...of almost everything I guess. I slowly undressed until I stood there naked except for the makeup, and went to wash it off. The elation I felt became a drug that soothed my tortured soul, and those few minutes I had spent outside dressed as a girl was once again urgently telling me to do it again, lying to me, telling me that I was an absolute doll when I was dressed as a girl. I had a hard time sleeping that night. In the morning, once again wearing my uniform of faded jeans and a shirt, I joined mom for breakfast. "How was your date mom?" "Very nice thank you, how was your evening?" "Okay," I said, sure but hoping she didn't know what I had done. "That's nice dear, just toss your dirty clothes in the laundry and I'll do them later today." "What dirty laundry?" I asked, knowing full well that I didn't have anything to wash except for the clothes I wore the night before. "I was thinking," mom said calmly, and with a straight face, "of your skirt, blouse, and all of your lingerie. I'm sure they're all sweaty, so just toss them into the laundry and I'll wash them up." There was a bit of a pause, then... "I was almost home last night when I saw this girl walking down the street, but when she turned into our driveway, I went on by, because I knew it had to be, could only be, you. I didn't want to frighten you last night, so I drove around long enough for you to clean up and get into bed." I remembered the car I had seen the night before, and the way it slowly drove past our house. My sense of self preservation should have warned me, but I was inside before I actually saw the car, so I never knew it had been my mother! I tried a lie, but... "How do you know it was me mom? I mean, I might have had a...guest last night!" "Then she should still be here then, shouldn't she? I've been up for over an hour, and I didn't see any girl sneaking out, which means she is still here, and if she is, when can I meet her?" I had fallen into the plot on one of those sci-fi shows, the ones where your worst nightmare becomes a stark reality. We both knew there wasn't any girl in my room, only the clothes stuffed into a box under my bed, the ones I wore the night before. Swallowing hard, I said nothing in my defense, even though the words lay on my tongue, ready to leap out, ready to explain, and hopefully, make mom quit thinking about it. But silence was the order of the day, and I obeyed my instincts. Mom smiled, didn't say anything more about it, then I helped her do the dishes. My name is Robert, I'm 15, and for as long as I can remember I have liked to dress as a girl, and luckily, I've had a few chances over the years to do it, usually on a holiday, but also a few rare times in between. But the night before was the first time I had ever gotten myself completely dressed and actually left the house, and it wasn't on a spooky holiday either. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that mom knew it was me, so the only question left was what she was going to do about it. I fretted all during the time we washed the dishes, then suddenly, mom went to my room, leaving me no choice but to follow close behind. In just a few minutes, and without any effort it seemed, she found my stash of clothes, then one by one, held them up. Without a word, she took them with her when she left, not saying a word the entire time. Complaining wasn't going to work, nor was denial, and that left me with the anguished metallic taste of dread in my mouth. I went outside, trying to make it all go away, but everything that had happened lingered in my mind, including every minute of time from the night before, right up to the moment mom carried my clothes away with her. I had no idea what she would do, I just knew it would be bad, whatever it was. Looking down the street when I went outside, I saw Megan out washing her car, her cute little body wrapped in tight shorts, her breasts defined by the cutoff tee she wore. Megan is a beauty by any standard, but I didn't know one guy that had ever scored, let alone dated her. She waved, I waved back, and I went back in the house. I had to know what mom was going to do, if it would be good or bad, but I couldn't just stay outside, I had to know. I couldn't stand the suspense any longer, and went in the house. Mom was sitting in the family room. "Those clothes of yours," she said without any preamble, "are all way to small for you honey, at least one whole size to small! I'm not even going to wash them for you. I tossed them out instead." I was ready to jump up and retrieve them when mom added... "that's why I want you to wait here. I'm going to take a few measurements, then I'll get you a complete outfit to wear. You'll surely look and feel a lot better with clothes that fit properly, and maybe the clothes won't be so sweaty when you take them off." The fact that mom tossed out my clothes wasn't a surprise, I had already taken that as a given; I had figured that would happen the minute she said she had seen me, but when she told me she was going to get me some clothes that actually fit me properly, well, that threw me. I didn't expect that, and what she said left me wondering if she had some idea that she could turn me into a clown of some kind. Deathly afraid of discovery, I had always taken great pains not to let my secret out, but even though I planned my foray outside as a girl well, that's exactly what happened. In a few minutes, with mom insisting on it, I stood perfectly still while she took some measurements. I desperately wanted to deny my urges out loud, tell mom it was all a joke, anything that wouldn't make her think that I was a pervert of some kind, but mom just stood there waiting until I quit fidgeting, then used her measuring tape and experience to figured out what she needed to buy, then left the house. She told me she would be back in a few hours. It was the longest two hours I ever spent. I watched television, but to this day I cannot say what was on because I was so nervous. When mom returned, she handed me a bunch of bags, then grabbed my hand. "Robert, I want you to know right up front that having a son that wants to be a girl is not my fondest wish, but having a son that is so unhappy with himself that he tries to become someone else, can only be much worse. If you and I can come to an agreement about this, I guess I'll let you dress up as often as you need to, and maybe we can even go a few places together. But I insist that you do your very best, every time, and if need be, you let me help you. If we can agree on this, I'll even buy you a few more outfits. Can we agree on that?" How in the world could I ever say no? Mom was giving me a chance to become a girl, whenever I wanted, and all she wanted to do was help me! Even though my brain was telling me to deny how I felt, and the words were forming to do just that, I slowly nodded my head yes, which is when she told me to go to my room and get dressed, using the clothes she had bought, then she added, she "wanted to see me, so she could help me if I needed it". I didn't even look in the bags right then, and though I had a ton of reservations about letting mom see me dressed as a girl, it was part of a deal that I had always wanted, so I went to my room, shut the door, then looked in the bags. I found a package of panties, all white, a bra, size 34A, new pantyhose in a sort of light tan color, a beige waist nipper and a gel padded pantybrief, plus a dress. It was all one color, pink, and looked like a tube of sorts, and it looked really short to me. The shoes were white, with short heels and a strap that went around the ankle, with a white purse to match. Just knowing the new clothes were mine, for me alone, sent my blood raging, causing sweat to pour out everywhere as I considered how I would look wearing the clothes mom had bought, just for me. I put everything on the bed, stripped, jumped in the shower, then, after I calmed down a bit, I began to turn myself into a girl. My fingers held the panties, then the bra, feeling the soft cotton, letting the vision in my mind take over. Mom had been right. The panties, my very first by the way, fit almost perfectly, as did the pantyhose. I went into my bath, did my makeup the best I could, then went back into my room, pulled on the padded pantybrief, then wrapped the waist nipper around myself, fastened it up, and reached for the bra. Once I had it on I dug out my birdseed breast forms from my hiding place in the dresser, put them in the bra, and reached for the dress. Getting it on was easy, zipping it up wasn't, and I struggled until I managed to get it closed, then I stepped into the shoes, sat on the bed, secured the ankle straps, and stood up. Using a brush, I pulled my hair back against my head tightly and used an elastic to hold it in place, making a high ponytail. Lipstick was last, the plum color, which was my only lipstick by the way, contrasting the pink dress just right. Looking in the mirror even I could see the difference, since the clothes hung better, and didn't look all stretched out. The hem was in the same place as the skirt I had worn, so I didn't give that a lot of thought, although the pantyhose did seem to make my legs look pretty good, and the pink dress, shaped to fit, gave me the best image of a girl that I had never before managed. Just being dressed as a girl but staying in my room was, of course, not good enough. Mom had made it clear that she wanted to see me, completely dressed, and had even bought the clothes for me, but I had hidden my desires for so long that the very thought of being dressed like this in front of mom gave me the chills, the ones that come from way down deep, the really scary ones. But I didn't have a choice, I had accepted the clothes when I put them on, leaving me with only a lump in my throat and an abiding fear that my mother would burst out laughing. She had made it clear that she did not want a son that wanted to be a girl, yet there I stood, dressed as a girl, with the growing realization that time was passing, each moment adding to the knowledge that my best makeup was getting worse the longer I waited, so, drawing in a deep breath, I opened the door, and yelled out, telling mom I was coming out. I stood there in the doorway to my bedroom for a moment, knowing full well that once I walked out of the room, there wasn't going to be any doubt at all that I liked to dress as a girl, but then again, there wasn't much, if any, doubt right then anyway. I heard mom say "okay", and took my first, tenuous, and very scary step. Walking as quietly as I could, I stepped into the family room, saw mom look up, and froze in place. Every emotion I owned was pounding away at me. Run, hide, and deny, foremost, but also, elation, joy, and strangely, pride. Then, a sort of calmness washed over me. Whatever happened next, mom will have finally seen me dressed as a girl, and it would be over. She just stared at me for a moment before she came closer, and I thought she was going to laugh at me, but she looked and smiled, then, without a word, took me by the hand and led me to her bedroom where she sat me down at her vanity. Mom let out my hair, brushed it back, then began to repair my makeup. It was really quite easy, all she used was a small powder puff, adding powder to my face, making my skin look softer. Using her curling iron she created a very nicely feminine hairstyle for me, trimming my bangs so they fell in a straight line across my forehead. She handed me some clip on earrings, fastened a necklace around my neck and told me to redo my lips. When I looked into the big mirror, it was as if she had created a third, entirely different person, all with the same body! Not the boy I really was, not the girl I had created on my own, but another girl, the girl I had been looking for. I was speechless, just staring at my reflection. Mom left me standing there, walking out of the room without a word. I knew the girls name of course, I had known it for years, and for the first time in a long time, I said it out loud. "Hello Emily," I said to my reflection, smiling as I turned and looked at myself from every angle. At that point, there wasn't any way I was going to change, unless I had to, so I walked out of the room and back into the family room where mom was. The only words that came out of my mouth were... "Thanks mom...thank you so much!" I could feel the tears in my eyes forming even as I spoke, my lip quivering, but I stood there, overcome with the emotion of the moment. "There's no reason to cry honey, you look very nice, and I only did this for you because you obviously needed it." "But...but I'm so...ashamed!" I hate it!" I said, knowing it was both the truth and a lie at the same time. "No, you don't hate it dear, you hate not being able to be free to be yourself. You're afraid of what everyone else will say if they knew just how pretty you are able to become. Now then, come sit by me and tell me all about why you feel this way." I sat next to mom like a lump, until she took my hand in hers. Then it came out. All of my frustrations, fears, denials, then the elation and calmness I always felt when I dressed up. I told her that I knew she hated me for what I was, convinced that now that she knew, I would be sent away. I cried, sobbed really, all of my self erected barriers were coming down, leaving a pile of sodden, tear stained ashes, the remains of what I had brazenly called nerve. Mom listened, not interrupting me until at last I fell silent, ashamed of myself, sure that she would throw me out, convinced that I was, as I envisioned, a pervert of some kind. But she put her arm around me, held me tightly, saying nothing at all, letting me know it was okay. The feel of her skin, the scent of her hair, the perfume she wore, so familiar, and so comforting. One of her hands held mine, the other stroked my hair, and we sat like that for an eternity, then, all at once mom sat upright, took me by the hand again, and back to her bedroom we went. She asked me if I thought I should let her show me how to do makeup, and when I nodded my head yes, she had me wash off my ruined makeup, and we started over. Her way was a lot easier, and I looked more normal. Less foundation, yet with the powder, I had a smooth face. All she would let me do was outline my eyes, the upper lids with eyeliner, the lower lids with a pencil, then some pale coral blusher, and finally, the same plum lipstick. I not only looked better than ever before, but I somehow knew that mom and I had reached a new plateau in our relationship. I wasn't sure how things would turn out, but as I sat there doing my makeup under her guidance, I hoped that the new relationship would be one that was more like a mother and daughter would have. Looking at mom through the mirror, I sensed that we both felt the strange new closeness. I looked at her with a smile, and all at once, we both started to giggle! Not at me, but at our newfound closeness. Mom and I held each for a while, then with a start, she popped out of her seat, and told me that it was time I got a taste of the real world, as a girl of course, and since she had a few errands to run, I would come with her! I quickly choked, and almost protested, but couldn't when she gave me the "smiley look," she uses when she wants something, and I didn't have a choice. I had gone out the night before, and didn't look anywhere near as good as I did at that moment, and we both knew it. Without a word I picked up my new purse, and nervously stood waiting for mom to get her purse. I had never gone out during daylight, and with Megan out and about, I was worried, but mom took me by the arm, and without any further resistance from me, out we went, leaving the safety of the house. Not just Megan was out, by the time we left the house, everyone it seemed was out in their yards, waving as we drove past them, including Megan. There was no way she could not have seen me, and my only hope was that she did not recognize me. Mom went to the grocery store, making me push the basket while she filled it. Nobody even bothered to look at me! Then it was on to the drugstore, and finally, the camera shop. Mom had ordered one of the newer digital cameras, and it had come in. After that, we went home, and once again drove right past our neighbors. I wasn't quite a wreck, but it was close, which mom thought was funny. As we carried everything in the house I was worried that someone would walk over, then ask who I was. Mom didn't seem to be concerned, so I relaxed and went to the car for the last few bags of groceries, had them in my arms, when Mrs. Ward, the nosy busybody from across the street walked up. "Hello dear...I haven't seen you around here before, my name is Edith. Edith Ward. I live across the street. What's your name dear?" Half choking, I muttered "Emily", and turned to walk away, which is when mom came out. "Hello Edith," mom said, a taste of impatience in her tone of voice." "Hello! I just wanted to meet this young lady, we have so few girls around here." "Her name is Emily, and she is just visiting today. Thanks for caring Edith, but we have to put our groceries away, so if you'll excuse us..." "Oh I am sorry dear, I'll just be going then." We watched as Edith walked back across the street, then went inside. I was shaking, but mom put me to work, and I soon calmed down. When we were done I touched up my lipstick, then went in the kitchen to get a soda when, to my great horror, I saw Megan looking right at me, through the curtain free window in the back door! Megan was smiling and waving at me. There wasn't one thing I could do about the fact that she had seen me, completely dressed as a girl, but I was frozen in place. When mom saw the look on my face, she looked outside and saw Megan standing there. Opening the door wide, mom invited her in, and since there didn't seem to be, wasn't actually, any option, I simply stood there. Megan and I traded stares, then she broke out in a wide smile, even as she walked over to me. I was still frozen to that spot, unable, or maybe unwilling to move. "Damn girl! You look fantastic! Better than I ever expected you to look! It wasn't easy to tell last night, but now, wow!" "Megan," mom said, "Emily is really very shy about all this, and I don't want you to tell anyone, even a hint! Understand me?" "Tell? Who would believe me, even if I did tell them that Mr. Macho looks foxy as hell as a girl!?" Turning to look right at me, "I'm not going to tell anyone Emily, but you just have to tell me just how you manage to look so damned good!" I said nothing of course, still confused by Megan's reaction. Then, mom said that she could handle the groceries if Megan and I wanted to do something. Before I could say a word... "Great!" Megan said, we can go to my house and goof off there!" "Emily," mom said, "has to be home by dinner time Megan". Turning to me, mom added... "I'll call if you forget what time dinner is." We both stood there for a minute, then... "SCAT you two, I have things to do here, and you'll be under foot." I did not want to leave the safety of the house, yet I had just spent two hours shopping with mom, all without any trouble, which must have tempered my fear a little, even though I knew that the street was filled with people, all of them knowing full well that no girl lived in my house. I left my purse on the table, then Megan opened the door, took my hand, and I was once again outside. My heart was beating hard, sweat formed on my brow, and my stomach was growling, yet I managed to follow Megan to the sidewalk, then we started down the street. We passed a lot of our neighbors, but none of them said a word, just waving as we went by. Only Mrs. Ward, who was sitting on her porch, didn't wave at us. We quickly reached Megan's house, went in, then, as we were about to go up to her room, her mother walked out. I almost fainted when she grinned at me, but Megan calmly told her my name was Emily, then took me to her bedroom. Once the door was shut, I collapsed on the bed exhausted, just from walking past all of the neighbors. Megan asked me how many outfits I had, and I admitted that the one I had on was it, which is when she began to yank things out of her closet, stacking them on the bed next to me. I watched as the pile grew, finally asking her what she was doing. When she told me, I was very hesitant. "Emily! You just haven't had the chance to play "dress up", at least like all girls do when they're growing up! That's how we find out what we like, what works, and what doesn't! Come on, it'll be fun!" I wasn't so sure, but with me sitting there watching her, Megan quickly stripped down to her bra and panties, which rather rapidly made my male hormones kick into gear. Megan was beautiful, and seeing her dressed that way was almost more than I could handle, and I think she knew it. Megan looked at me, grinned, then told me to stand up. When I did she unzipped my dress! Still worried about my "condition," I carefully slipped off the dress, but thankfully, because of the pantybrief, there wasn't any sign that I was excited. She grabbed a pair of shorts for me to put on, and afraid of what might happen if I didn't, I stepped into them while she changed into a pair that were almost the same green color. Then she gave me one of those tops that hug the body. I pulled it on while she did the same, and all at once, we were dressed almost alike. Megan and I stared at each other, then together, we began to laugh. Standing there looking my myself in the mirror, I could see that the front of my shorts looked like hers, and the way the top hugged me, well, it enhanced my bust line in a way that left no doubt that I was able to look like a girl, and I really loved it. Megan then took out a couple of dresses, which we put on, then she had me sit at her vanity while she redid my hair, and when she was done I had those small hair bows all over, and my makeup was very dramatic. I watched as she did her own hair, using more small clips, then her makeup, which was also bright and dramatic. I was having a lot of fun, and forgot all about the tension that had gripped me earlier. Thirsty after trying on the clothes, Megan took me to the kitchen where we grabbed some soda's, then went out on her patio, to sit in the sun. "This," Megan said, "is so cool! I was sure that was you I saw last night, but I wouldn't have said anything about it if you had denied it, but when I saw you through the door this morning, I was shocked at how good you looked! I never had a clue that you wanted to..." "Hello!" It was Megan's mom. "Care to introduce us again honey?" "This is Emily mom. She lives...down the street." "Hi Emily! I'm so glad to see that Megan has one of her friends living nearby! You're always welcome here honey." I nodded my head, and she left, but once again I felt the pangs of fear biting me. Megan, while unreachable by mere mortal boys, turned out to be funny, quick and smart, and for some strange reason I was at ease with her, and was able to relax around her. Maybe because I was just another girl to her. We went back to trying on clothes, some of which made us look plain funny, while others made us look like little girls. We tried different hair styles, using ribbons and bows, clips and headbands, plus all sorts of makeup. Seeing her in her panties didn't quit being exciting, but I was able to ignore her semi nakedness a bit better, and I was able to enjoy the afternoon with her, much like any two girls would. But, dinner drew closer, and I was ready to put my dress back on when she told me to just wear the short skirt and thin top I ended up wearing. I could carry my own dress, and she would walk with me. One thing I did notice was the way that short skirt made me feel. The skirt was pleated, like a cheerleaders skirt, and just about as long. It swayed when I walked, just like it would on any other girl, which made me feel very happy. Megan and I walked down the street, and just about the time we reached my house, Mrs. Ward came running over, wagging her finger at me. "I know that you're the young man that lives here, and I think that what you're doing is sinful!" Before I could say a word, Megan tore into her like a whirlwind. "Listen you nosy old bitch, Emily just spent the afternoon with me, in my bedroom. Do you really believe that my mother would allow that if she wasn't a girl?! Why don't you go knit or something!" I thought Mrs. Ward was going to have a hissy fit right on the spot, but mom came out, with Megan's mom right beside her. "What's going on here!" mom demanded, "I could hear you girls all the way inside the house!" "Mrs. Ward is still getting into everyone's business! I told her to take a hike!" Megan was angry, and went on...." she said, or rather inferred that Emily and I were doing something wrong at our house mom!" Mrs. Ward had a reputation for spreading gossip, usually unfounded, and true or not, she spread it around, and most of the neighbors didn't like her. I saw both of our mother's eyes narrow, and knew what was coming. I grabbed Megan's hand and stood back a little. "You listen to me you nosy old biddy," mom said, "I don't care what you think about what we do in our house, or anywhere else for that matter, and I am telling you right now, that one more word from you about my daughter, or what you think Megan and Emily do together, and I'll slap a restraining order on your big ass, and I won't even think twice about it!" "And further more," Megan's mom added, "your constantly spreading gossip has everyone in the neighborhood knowing just what kind of person you are! Almost everything you tell people is wrong anyway, so just why do you think they'll believe anything you say?" I didn't like standing out on the street dressed like a girl, and having our two mothers go after Mrs. Ward, even though she needed it, and while very satisfying, we were drawing a crowd! Then I saw Mr. Ward walk across the street. "She's spreading that damned gossip again isn't she?" Everyone nodded their heads yes. "Edith, I warned you this might happen, and now it has! Get home....now!" Mr. Ward took his wife by the arm, and lead her away, leaving us standing there surrounded by a lot of the neighbors, and with my fervent wish to go inside, I pulled on Megan's hand. She got the message, and we went inside, with our mother's right behind us. I was a wreck, because there wasn't any doubt at all that a lot of the neighbors had seen me, and worse, they had all seen me go into my own house. They knew a boy lived there, not a girl, but a girl is what they saw, and on top of that, mom had called me her daughter. Anyone that didn't get it by then was too stupid to understand what was going on, or didn't care. Megan and I stood there when they came in, standing hand in hand, but my knees were shaking and I was ready to break down and cry like a baby. "Well", mom said, "I think the cat is out of the bag so to speak Emily! Everyone that was outside has seen you, and they all know who you really are, which might be a problem later, but I don't think Mrs. Ward will be bothering you any more, so the question we all face now is how do we manage all of this, and just how often are you going to become Emily? Then, can you do it well enough to make the neighbors forget what they already know?" I was still in school of course, with almost 3 months of school before summer arrived, so there wasn't any chance that I would start dressing as a girl full time, or even much more than part time, until then. Maybe, once in a while, but to say how often I would become Emily? There wasn't any way I could do that. Then there was the obvious fact that Megan's mother knew who I really was, yet she had not seemed to mind when I spent the entire afternoon in Megan's room, which, even when it confused me a little, I kept my mouth shut about that. I might get lucky and have it happen again. But fate had stepped in, and now that so many people knew that I had dressed as a girl, there wasn't very many reasons that I couldn't dress up at home, more often of course, if mom would let me. "Of course she can do it well enough!" Megan said, "and I'll help her over the rough spots!" Megan and her mother went home, leaving with a bag full of new experiences, and also, a whole new set of concerns. I stayed dressed until I went to bed, then the next morning, which was Sunday, mom told me that we were going to attend church with Megan and her mother, then told me to come to her bedroom. "Your secret," mom said, "is out of the bag now, thanks to Mrs. Ward, and after thinking about it last night, I have come to believe that the only way for you to get past this, is to become Emily as often as you can, and be a perfectly behaved, and well dressed young lady every time you go out. If we do that, then the whispering will die down because all anyone will see is a 15 year old girl. Do you agree?" "I guess I don't have any choice now, do I mom?" "You could quit altogether, but I don't see that happening, do you? You like being dressed as a girl to much to give it up, that much I could see for myself, and when I saw you outside, you and Megan looked exactly like any two girls you would see anywhere, and that wouldn't be possible, unless you wanted it to happen, and that tells me that answer is no, you don't have a choice. Well yes, I guess you do have a choice, quit, or do your very best, every time you have the chance, which isn't much of a choice. Is it?" "I guess I'll do my best mom, but, like I told you before, I never dressed up very often before, and never for an entire day, I was too scared!" "Now you'll get your chance, because right after church, you and I are going to get you a few more outfits, and some better makeup. I told you before that I didn't like the idea of my son wearing dresses, but we both agreed that you need to do it, and that means that if you're going to do this, then I have no choice but to insist that you at least have the right clothing, and of course, my help. Now, come to eat." That night I undressed and slipped on the old nightgown mom gave me, and we sat watching television together, which for me, was merely noise and color. My mind was elsewhere, back to the time Megan and I spent trying on clothes. Her lithe body did not, surprisingly, come to my mind. I wanted to be like her in body and soul, and yet, even after the day that had just passed, I would never admit that to anyone, especially my mom. Maybe she knew, maybe not, but I wasn't going to be the one to tell her. Then, right out of the blue.... "You're quite cute, did you know that?" "What?" "You heard me," mom said, "I said that you are really quite cute as a girl. I didn't expect that I guess, but when I saw you in those short shorts and that huggy top, there wasn't much, if any, doubt in my mind that you have a girl named Emily inside of you, which means that like I told you, we'll just have to get you some more clothes. I won't have you borrowing from Megan all of the time. We can afford to clothe ourselves, and I will make sure that you have everything you need from now on, and when I do, I expect to see you dressed as a girl every moment you're not required to be a boy. I just cannot see any other way to get that old bat off your case. You'll have to become such a convincing girl that nobody will pay any attention to her, even if they already know the truth. Does this make any sense to you?" Of course it made sense to me! After all, I wanted to be a girl, so it wasn't a very big leap to see that if mom wanted me to be perfect when I was dressed as a girl, that I had to say yes. But mom's assumption was based on my winning over the neighbors simply based on the way I looked and acted. What mom neglected was to ask even one neighbor what they really thought. That alone made what she wanted me to do very risky. That said, there wasn't any way that I would pass on the chance to become a girl, and with mom buying me more clothes, it was a cinch that she would help me in other areas, like doing hair. That's why I agreed. My desire to be a girl outweighed even the slightest bit of common sense I ever had, and I told mom that "yes, it made sense," to me. Right after breakfast, mom and I went to my room. "Betty brought this over for you to wear to church. She said that Megan loaned it to you just for today. Go take your shower, get your bra and panties on, then I'll come in and help you get ready." Did I want to dress as a girl? Yes! Was I scared? You bet! Going to church would be like taking out a banner in the newspaper, saying "Look! A boy that wants to be a girl!" I could have quit right then I suppose, but I was stuck in a silken trap of my own desires that were compounded by my ambition to look, then become, as feminine as possible. I wanted to be a girl in every way, the smooth skin, the swelling body that defined a girl. Small breasts and wider hips, makeup and perfume, all drawing me inward, to a goal that would ruin me, or at best, alienate me from everyone I knew at school. But I was starting at a new school in the fall, and most of the kids would not know me, which made it only slightly safer. Mom had told me, twice as a matter of fact, that she was going to buy me some clothes of my own. She did not say what, how many, or what kind, yet, while I might have my own clothes, and even look like a girl, mom could not deflect what would happen if someone began to pester me about being dressed as a girl. I would have to do that, all alone. I could see the dress hanging there on the closet door... "Honey?....Emily! You'll have to hurry! Now get in the shower and get ready, we don't have all day!" That was all it took to drive my doubts away, and after a quick shower, mom and I recreated the girl Emily, the real Emily, the one I had seen for the first time the day before. When I left the house, my hair was swept back, held in place with barrettes, my small pink pearl earrings on display. The dress was basically white, but had a small flower print on it, a round neck and short sleeves. The dress fit over my breasts just right, then hugged my abdomen to flare out at the hip, ending with the hem just at my knees. I wore the low white heels, a matching pink pearl necklace, and a thin gold bracelet that mom gave me. Carrying a small white clutch bag, mom and I left the house, drove to the church, then, as we parked the car, I looked at mom for support. She squeezed my hand, got out, and stood there waiting for me. As much as I wanted to be a girl, as good as I looked, and even with mom standing there, I hesitated. I could see people walking in, and while nobody was staring at me, I was ready to simply drift away, imagining the horrors that would befall me, when a hand touched mine. I jumped as if struck by lightening, turned, and saw my Nana standing there! She took my hand in hers, and with a gentle tug, pulled me out of the car. She didn't even blink when she saw me in all of my brand new feminine glory. Instead, she took my hand in hers, and with zero struggle from me, we all walked into the church together. As bright as the day was, as good as I looked, when we walked into the darkened church, I felt as if a spotlight were on me. The smell of incense filled the air, the organ music filled the air with softly muted hymns, people moved and shuffled to their seats, all while I stood there next to Nana and mom. Most people sat in the same seats every time, and after a while certain pews were naturally designated for specific families. We always sat six back from the front, right hand side, which is where we sat that day. But instead of two women and a boy, there sat two women and a young girl. I could not have been more on display if I wore a sign. Mass started, and I was drawn into the pageantry of it all, just like always, forgetting for a short time my predicament, and growing concern. After mass, on the way out, I saw Megan wave at me, then we got stuck in the line to speak to the minister. I shook his hand, he smiled, then I was introduced as Emily. His wife smiled, shook my hand, then we were on our way to the car. Megan caught up with us, and after a bit of pleading, she was allowed to join us for my first shopping trip dressed as a girl. We went to lunch, then to the mall. As it turned out, Megan was a great help, and I was very glad she was there with us. Both mom and Nana tended to like what Megan and I thought were dowdy clothes, but Megan and I were able to convince them on the newer styles. I got two skirts, one straight and one pleated, two dresses, one similar to the one I had on and one a simple sheath dress, like the pink one. Mom bought me another pair of shoes, tan flats, and another bra which was plain white, and two nightgowns. It was like Christmas in March! At Megan's insistence, I bravely had my ears pierced and small gold studs put in. Then, on the way home from the mall, we stopped at a mart where mom picked up a couple of tops, a pair of shorts and jeans plus some inexpensive gym shoes. By the time we got home I was on cloud nine, eager to try on my new clothes, so Megan and I went to my room where we spent a wonderful hour. I wore the shorts and one of the new tops with my gym shoes when Megan and I appeared in the kitchen. Nana joined us when we went to the patio to have a soft drink. "It looked like you two had fun day today," Nana said. "Yeah!" Megan answered, "Emily would look funky if I didn't help her find the right clothes!" "I suppose I am a little out of date," Nana said with a grin, "but I'm glad that Emily has found a new friend to help her through this." Mom joined us, then, after a little bit, Megan and I went to her house where we met her mother, who put down some new rules. We could play dress up all we wanted, but the door had to stay open at all times. "For the obvious reasons," she added, then let us go to Megan's room. Megan and I grew very close over that weekend, but sadly, I had to be my own self on Monday morning for school. I caught myself using my hands and walking like a girl a few times, but nobody noticed, and I was able to hide my growing anxiety about screwing up. I missed the feel of a skirt hitting my bare legs, the taste of lipstick and the tug of my bra and the fake breasts that filled the cups, but all I could do was ignore those feelings and try to be one of the guys, promoting the charade of my macho self all day. I did not get dressed at all that week, but on Friday after school, the first thing I did was take a bath and shave myself all over, then I got dressed. I wore the pleated green skirt with a white blouse and my flats, my makeup just barely there, and for the first time I was able to wear a pair of my new earrings, the gold dangly ones. I started dinner, set the table, and waited for mom to come home. Mom was late, but I did not start to worry until it got to be over an hour, which is when I called her office, got her machine, and left a message. I called Nana who knew nothing, then, as the time approached two hours, I called Megan, and got her mother. I told her that I was very worried, which is when she told me to shut everything off, pack a bag, and come to her house. I called Nana and told where I would be and gave her the number, then left a note on the table just in case. I grabbed my purse, making sure I had my key, and walked to Megan's house. As the time drew close to midnight, the phone rang. It was my mother. Megan's mom took the call, leaving me to only hear her side of the conversation, which was merely grunts and a few words. Then... "That fellow your mom was dating went nuts tonight. He wanted to get married right away, but your mother didn't, and when she told him that, he kidnapped her! He tried to get a judge out of bed to marry them, but the judge called the police, then made sure the guy stuck around until they got there. The cops found your mom in the backseat of his car, all tied up. They took her to the hospital, but he never touched her. That's why she didn't call honey, she couldn't. She is going to spend the night in the hospital, and we'll go get her in the morning." "I better call Nana," I said... "Your mom already called her Emily. Now you and Megan go to bed, and we'll go get your mother in the morning." Once again my hopes went up, but I was told to use the spare bedroom, and I was not able to share a bed with Megan like I had momentarily hoped. In the morning I got dressed, did my makeup and brushed out my hair, and went to the kitchen. Megan and I ate, then she redid my hair for me, and the three of us went to the hospital to get mom. I was a wreck by the time we got there. My dad had died in this hospital, leaving just mom and I, and while we were close before, now that I had been dressing as a girl, I felt we had grown even closer, and I just couldn't lose her. Mom was dressed and waiting for us, a smile on her face. When she saw me crying, we held each other tightly. The four of us went out to eat, then we went home. Once mom and I were alone, she told me all about what had happened, stressing that she wasn't in any real danger of physical harm. The guy simply wanted to marry her, and wouldn't take no for an answer. That's when she told me about the guys out there that think women are there only to please them, and while I thought that being a female was fun, she made it clear that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. "Guys," she said, "are almost always stronger than we are, and when the blood rushes from one end to the other, they don't always care what we want. They can simply take it because men are usually bigger and stronger than we are. Fortunately only a few men are like that Emily, but what happened to me could happen to you, simply because you look like a cute, teenage girl!" It was easy to believe what mom said after what had happened to her, and I realized why so many women travel around in packs, like at the mall. It's safer, plain and simple. I never let mom out of my sight for the rest of the day, even when Megan and her mother came over. Call it an anxiety attack. The days flew by, but it grew tiresome waiting for Friday to roll around so I could become Emily again. But on the last day of school, I went home, changed clothes, put on my makeup, and walked down to Megan's house, and told her that my days as a boy were over. She and I were just goofing off when her cousin Lisa stopped by. Lisa was 22 at the time, a dark haired, blue eyed beauty, thin like a model, but with a great figure. "I thought I would stop by and ask if you wanted to go to with me to do a little shopping, then I have to stop by the photographers and pick up my pictures. But I see you have company, so maybe next time." "I can go home," I said, but Megan had another idea. "Can Emily come too? We can call her mom and see if it's okay..." "If," Lisa said, "her mom tells me its okay, then why not!" Mom said I could go, and Lisa took us to a small plaza not far away, stopping at a small shop. Megan and I went in with her. The first thing I saw was a shelf full of boobs and butts! "Yes! I'm here to be fitted for my enhancer?" Lisa said, not the slightest bit ashamed. When the woman waved her back, we went with her. Lisa peeled her clothes off, then stood naked, right in front of us! The woman slipped what Lisa called her "enhancer" over her bottom, and all at once Lisa had a very nice bottom, and from less than two feet away, I could not see a seam! Lisa had the woman glue it on, then she got dressed, paid the bill, and we left. Not wanting to ask what kind of shop that was, I kept silent, but Megan didn't mind at all, and asked Lisa. "Oh," Lisa said, "they make things for people to help them with their body image, like the butt enhancers I bought, all the way to breast forms. The day I ordered mine, there was a guy in there, and believe me, when they were done with him, he looked just like any woman his age, and he was so pretty that he made me feel like an ugly duckling!" "Is it expensive," Megan went on, I mean, what if I need some help?" "It's hard to say Megan," Lisa replied, "they make everything to fit, custom, but no, I don't think it's expensive." Megan looked at me with a grin. Me? My heart was beating a mile a minute. The very minute I got home I told mom about the shop we had gone to, and dragged a promise from her that we could go there and find out how much it would cost to turn me into a girl. We went on Tuesday after mom got home from work. The woman at the shop recognized me, but when mom told her why I was there, she stared, then smiling, told me she didn't believe it. She did when I got undressed. The process took about two hours using a laser and a computer to develop the perfect body shape for me. The woman told mom what it would cost, which seemed high to me, but mom told her to make them, and we went home. I would have to wait two weeks, two very long weeks before I would have the body that matched how I felt. I told mom that once I had the stuff to make me look like a girl, I wanted to go to school as a girl, telling her there was no way I wanted to be a boy again. Mom did not look very surprised when I told her that. The minute I was fitted with the appliances and I saw myself naked for the first time, I knew, deep down that I could not give up being a girl. Even naked I looked like Megan, and the way things were made then applied to my body, there would be no chance that I could spoil my image by becoming erect, because I couldn't. Running my hands over my body, just feeling the weight of my breasts as I held them, one in each hand, then the soft downy hair in my groin that surrounded my new sex gave me a chill. I got dressed, but for the first time, needed to have mom help me get the bra on. Unused to the breasts, they were in the way! But it didn't take long for me to get ready, and we started for home, stopping only once. We picked up a swimsuit for me. As the summer went by and I became comfortable with my new body, I no longer hesitated to go anywhere. Mrs. Ward quit being so mouthy, and the rest of the neighbors always waved or said hello. Mom and I have come to realize our new relationship as mother and daughter is much more fun than mother and son, and while we still have some bumpy spots, we both know that I will never be her son ever again. Megan has introduced me to some of her friends, and now, as one of the girls, I am able to be the person I always knew I was inside. I am looking forward to school now, blending in and being part of the crowd, although my friends are teasing me about never having dated. It should be interesting.