DAY 3, TUESDAY
I never did quite get back to sleep. But that was okay. It was already 6
AM, there wasn't much point in trying to doze off again. Besides...
Not knowing what else to do with it, I'd hidden the Boy's Spirit, Catch!
manga in my pillowcase. I eventually weakened, fished it out and grabbed
my phone, curling up inside the sleeping bag and using my phone light to
illuminate the pages. It was not a comfortable way to read, but I really
didn't want to wake the others.
... not that I was really doing much reading. The text was
incomprehensible Japanese to me. But as I read, the most important
themes of the story became clear.
... okay. There's boy A and boy B. I'm not sure if there are any girls
in this manga at all, they don't seem to be very important. Any girls I
did see just seemed to have blank faces and the same generic haircut.
Boy A is tall, with short dark hair and a lean but muscular bod. Boy B
is shorter, with longer white(?) hair and a lean but slimmer bod. And
Boy A is on the baseball team and Boy B seems to have joined it.
Here, on page twelve, is a full page shot of Boy A standing hunched over
Boy B, with his arms around him, both of them holding onto a baseball
bat that is level with Boy B's crotch. Boy A is apparently showing Boy B
how to swing it.
Here, on page nineteen, is Boy B looking up in the shower room to see
Boy A standing over him. There is obvious and clear tension in the air.
Here, on page twenty-six, Boy B is staring in awe at Boy A as he catches
a baseball. He is surrounded by roses.
Here, on page thirty-two, Boy A is loosely embracing Boy B, and has his
pointer finger on Boy B's chest. There are lines to indicate a circular
motion.
Here, on page forty-three, the artwork has become rushed and sketchy,
the unreadable dialogue reduced to short bursts of characters. It's not
clear which boy is which, but someone is doing something - and it almost
doesn't matter what - to someone's carefully censored penis.
... but. Oh no. Boy A and Boy B are doing all of this... but Boy A is
thinking of Boy C, the handsome team manager with glasses...
'Oh, Yoshiko,' I thought in awe, my eyes wide. 'You have wonderful taste
in manga.'
I eventually had to stop reading, because I didn't have enough hands to
hold the book, the phone, AND my clitoris.
Thank god everyone was still asleep when I got up, scooped up my towel
with my least indecent hand, and hurried as quietly as I could into the
shower room, where I stood alone under the running water for the longest
time.
Actually being alone for the first time since I turned into a girl, I
took this opportunity for some things I couldn't easily do around
others. Like shaking my ass in the mirror. Or jumping up and down and
watching my breasts really go for the gold. Or getting up close to the
mirror and checking out what my pussy actually looked like beyond the
curtains. Or hurriedly getting back to showering every time I thought
someone was coming.
I was just finishing conditioning my hair when other girls started to
stumble in, yawning to themselves and stretching. Nemea was first,
followed by Sharon.
"Morning Michelle..." Nemea said, taking the shower head to my left.
"Hi, Nemea." I couldn't shake the feeling they were catching me in the
aftermath of something I hadn't done. In this shower.
Sharon for her part didn't greet me.
"Morning, Sharon," I said somewhat pointedly.
"Not here... observer... getting shower..." she replied blearily.
As I shampooed, I looked at Nemea. There was something I needed to talk
to her about... but what was it...
Oh. Oh yeah!
"Hey Nemea," I said. "Ruby says you like to play Smash."
"Sometimes," she said. "I play with my brothers. It keeps them happy.
Why?"
"Henry wants to have a boys VS girls tournament. Just for fun. You want
to join in?"
I happened to glance to my side. Sharon was stood stock still with her
head down and her hands grasping the side of her hair, utterly unmoving.
She thought about it for a moment as I rinsed the shampoo out of my
hair.
"Might be fun," she said, somewhat hesitantly. "Who's on our side?"
"Just Ruby and me for now. We'll need a fourth."
"Well, sure, I'll join," Nemea said. "Could be fun. Who do you like to
play as?"
" I main Squall," I said. "In his KH4 costume, for preference."
I glanced to my side. Sharon was slowly shifting from one foot to the
other in big exaggerated steps.
"Cool. I always play as Young Link or Isabelle," Nemea said. "She's
always been my favourite, I played a lot of Animal Crossing."
"Awesome! OK, now we just need one more then..."
I glanced to my side. Sharon was turning in circles under the shower
head, clutching her head. I could hear her teeth grinding over the hiss
and splash of the water.
"... something you want to say, Sharon?" I asked.
She threw her hands up and began gesticulating wildly, flinging water
all over the room as she talked.
"YOU CAN'T PLAY ISABELLE! SHE'S LOW TIER!" Sharon took a deep breath.
"She's got no combos, her jab is garbage, so are all her normal attacks
except her fair, you can forget about all her smashes, the fishing rod
is horribly nerfed, she does no damage with no range and she's awful
slow for someone who's so light and dies at 50% from being hit with a
feather!" She breathed in and out and in and out. "If you're going to
play an AC character you should at least play Villager!"
We stared at her for a while. Then Nemea straightened up.
"I don't know or care about any of that! I just like playing as
Isabelle, she's all right! Who do you play as that's supposedly so
good?"
"Joker, of course!" There was a definite tone of 'duh!' in Sharon's
response.
'You know,' I thought to myself, 'on Saturday I'd never have imagined
that by today I'd be caught in an argument about Smash tier lists in the
girl's shower.'
I tried to return to washing my hair, but the two of them kept sniping
at each other literally over my head.
"All right, all right!" I eventually snapped. "Would the two of you quit
arguing? There's no need to be at each other's throats over this." I
continued to shampoo, and had a thought. "You shouldn't even be against
each other! You should be teammates!"
I turned to Sharon.
"You sound like you know your stuff. Want to be the fourth team member?"
For a second Sharon's eyes grew even wider and her mouth opened in glee.
Then her face fell.
"Oh... but I can't." She held on to the sides of her head. "Observer! I
can't influence the outcome of the experiment like that...!"
"Still pretty sure it's not your experiment," I said, my eyelids
perfectly level. "But whatever it is you think you're doing, I don't see
how the outcome of a Smash tournament influences it at all."
Sharon nodded to herself.
"Yes... that's right! In fact, I probably have the time and ability to
not just be a teammate, but also the coach!"
"No, teammate," I insisted.
I eventually left the shower and got dressed. Since we were going
hillwalking today I decided to try the dark grey sports bra. First
impressions were: tight! Constricting! Supportive! I'd probably be glad
to have it four hours from now.
I grabbed a pair of shorts. They weren't like the skimpy short shorts
I'd been gifted as I transformed, these were a bit longer and harder
wearing. Since it looked sunny out, I also picked a sleeveless white and
pale-blue striped blouse. Buttoning it up was tricky because the buttons
were finally on the correct side, but I wasn't used to that yet.
I found some thick sports socks too, and my hiking boots were nice and
clompy. They had, to my relief, apparently already been worn in somehow.
Finally I looked at my now dry hair. I had to do something with it. I'd
rather liked the braid, but wanted to try something else, so I got a
couple of hairbands and managed to tie my hair up into a pair of loose
high ponytails all by myself.
It was still pretty early and half the girls were still in bed. I left
the dorm by myself and headed for the cafeteria, where I tried to eat as
much Rice Krispies as I could. It wasn't a terrible amount.
I looked uneasily at my bowl. I really was an exceedingly light eater,
at least compared to how I had been. Part of me was starting to worry
that I was anorexic, but that couldn't be it, right? I don't think
that's how anorexia works. I want to eat, it's just I fill up so damn
fast...
Ruby eventually came and sat beside me. She complimented me on a second
successful day dressing myself and we chatted.
"By the way," I said. "We've got a full Smash team now."
"Yeah? You talked to Nemea?"
"And Sharon."
"Sharon?!" Ruby sputtered. "Really?"
"She seems to know what she's talking about."
"Well, that wouldn't shock me I guess..." Ruby mused. "I'm just
surprised she decided to join in. She can be so weird..."
"Well, maybe she'll fit in more if we include her in normal things..." I
wondered.
"Oh, we've tried," Ruby said. "We've tried. How we've tried."
Over the next hour or so we finished our breakfasts, reported to Henry
that we had a full team and the tournament could go ahead whenever
everyone's ready (probably tomorrow at this rate) and gathered at the
front of the hostel. Yesterday's castle visit was sponsored by the
history department, today the geography department was taking us on a
hill walk.
Since my backpack was apparently gone forever and I couldn't bring that
rolling case up into the hills, I smiled at Cliff and asked if he would
do me a little favour and carry a few things for me. Gratifyingly he
couldn't have jumped higher at the chance. Not wanting to exploit him
though I only give him my water bottle, a sandwich for lunch and a few
snacks. The weather was looking wonderful and I didn't think I'd need
much else.
Our group set off from the hostel on foot. This was a route that would,
after an hour or two, take us to a hill overlooking the ruins of a Roman
encampment. We wouldn't be allowed to go down into it, but Mrs Waller
said there was a lot to learn even observing it from a distance.
Along the way she stopped us, briefly lecturing us about how the
glaciers had formed this valley, or how and why this thing was a
moraine, or here was the old road or an old abandoned bothy. But most of
the time we talked amongst ourselves.
Ruby and Sharon were not too pleased to be out on this death march, but
the other girls were in pretty good spirits. Personally, I always did
kinda like getting out and seeing the outdoors, especially when the
weather was this nice. The sun was on my face, the wind a cool breeze
against my arms and legs, lightly picking up my bunches of hair. I
shooed away the few clouds on the horizon.
As I stumbled up a rocky path, I gave thanks for the sports bra and the
well worn boots. I had to be grateful that however I had become a girl,
someone had not wanted it to be uncomfortable for me. Imagine the
alternative: becoming a girl like this, but with only the boy clothes on
my back and in my backpack. Every single piece of clothing would have
been horribly oversized, from the socks to the shirts, and I'd have had
to have gone without a bra too, which was now UNTHINKABLE. Quite apart
from the basic decency, I'd had enough of my boobs jiggling, swinging
and bouncing in the shower or while getting changed to know that that
all day, every day, would have been painful and driven me crazy!
We walked and chatted and chatted as we walked. I drifted from group to
group, keeping my own pace.
Eventually, as I was walking, I found myself shoulder to elbow with
Marcus Russell. I tried to keep my eyes away from where his enormous
dick had to be. The thought of it had occasionally crossed my mind - I
blushed hard and squirmed - especially when I'd been, well, 'exploring'
myself. I was pretty sure it was just too damn big though.
He subtly leaned over to me.
"Hey, Michelle?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a couple of things?"
Oh god, what's this about? I shrugged. The sports bra prevented the
usual shrug echo. Nice.
"Sure... what's up?"
"Well... now that you're a girl..." Marcus said, and he looked around.
Nobody could overhear us. "Are you and Ruby still an item?"
I snorted.
"A What?"
"Well, you and Ruby have been going out for forever..."
"We've What?"
"... you two were really close friends, right?" he asked, confused.
"Well, yeah! But we were like brother and sister!" I laughed. "And now,
I guess we're like sisters. But we were never an Item!"
"Seriously?" he seemed genuinely shocked. "We all thought... none of us
have been asking Ruby out because we thought she was your girlfriend."
"You think she's my What?"
"Well, we did!"
"I don't know how to tell you how much is wrong with that."
"You *were* a boy, remember?"
"Even then!"
Even back when I was a boy, that would have been unthinkable. We were as
close as you can get to siblings without being related! We'd been
friends for so long I couldn't remember how we'd met.
"So... Ruby's free?" Marcus asked optimistically.
For a moment, I honestly considered saying no like some kind of monster.
The urge to protect Ruby from Marcus' huge penis was strong. But she'd
made it clear that protection was not exactly what she wanted, and,
well...
Ruby had often complained about the guys not showing any interest in
her. Now I'd finally figured out that was because the dumbasses thought
she was taken by the old me. If I told him anything other than '"Ruby is
willing and ready to accept your romantic interest" she'd be rightly
furious with me.
"She's free... but treat her nice. All right?" I glared up at him, I was
sure it was not very intimidating. "If there's any complaints about you,
you're going to have to deal with me." I tried to look away. "And keep
that monster in your pocket until she asks about it!"
He turned red, and hunched down towards me. "I don't just whip it out in
front of girls!" he hissed, looking around anxiously.
"You did in front of me," I said, my eyes half closed and with a smirk
on my face.
"It was the changing rooms and you were a guy!" He seemed truly
embarrassed.
"Yeah... sorry."
"I've got enough anxiety about what happens when a girl sees it
without..." he mumbled to himself, and then stopped and looked at me,
apparently hoping I hadn't heard.
There was a lengthy silence.
"You're, uh, worried about it?" I asked. That had never occurred to me
before.
"Well..." he stumbled over his words. "Look, if I say anything, it's a
secret and it's only because you used to be a boy and know what it's
like, right?"
"Uh... right." I couldn't say I ever knew what it was like to be like
him.
"Look, can I ask something?"
"Sure..."
"Do the other girls know about... my stuff?"
We must have both been turning bright red. It was a miracle we kept
walking.
"They've, ah, heard rumours," I said. I wasn't going to say who
clarified those rumours.
"What do they think?" he asked, extremely nervously.
"I don't know if they understand it properly. They seem interested, if
wary."
His eyes darted from side to side. He was sweating.
"Do, uh, you think they would ever try..."
"God, I don't have any idea! This is the worst discussion ever! Are you
remembering I'm a girl?"
"That's kinda obvious, but you used to be a guy, so... who else can I
ask for the girls' perspective on this? I have no idea what's going to
happen when they see... it."
I tried to breathe. This was an awful conversation I didn't want to
have, but I did feel a little sorry for him. It's not fun being a freak.
"Look. Girls aren't a monolith, we all have our own opinions. So best I
can say is I guess some will, and some won't, and I wouldn't name names
even if I knew. But just... be confident that you're going to find
someone for who you're exactly what they're looking for."
He sagged a little.
"I guess that's all I can hope for huh?"
"There are worse problems to have," I added.
"True."
I was extremely relieved when he walked on ahead. It hadn't quite
occurred to me that, having once recently been a boy, people might come
to me to get a both-sides perspective of some things. I just wished it
wasn't such an uncomfortable discussion. I wouldn't have wanted to talk
to Marcus about his dick as a boy, and now as a girl it was much worse!
We came to the top of a hill, and Mrs Waller started waving at some
distant stones that were apparently the remains of some kind of old
fort. You could make out the general layout but not much else. The
entire thing was overgrown and crumbled. Then we set off again.
This time, I ended up aimlessly drifting alongside Liam Galloway, who
leaned over and whispered in my ear - "can we talk?"
... I was feeling a little cautious after the last one.
"Is it important?"
"Uh, yeah..." Liam said furtively.
"Is this going to get weird?"
"It's been weird for a while, hasn't it?"
"Point," I conceded.
"Look, I just really, REALLY need to ask you something. I won't pry too
much."
"Okay..." I guess this might not be too bad. "What is it?"
He waited until we were in a spot in the group where no-one would
overhear us, and then leaned down.
"So, you turned into a girl..."
"You finally noticed?" I said playfully, and then stopped smirking when
I saw his face. He was dead serious.
"... how'd you do it?" he asked.
We walked on for a while. Eventually I admitted,
"I don't know? Honestly it's a complete mystery to me. I just went into
one bathroom, and then I was in another one and I was a girl."
"That was it?" he asked disbelievingly.
"That's it. It doesn't make any sense but that's what happened." I
looked up at him. "Why do you want to know?"
He mulled the question for a while, obviously thinking hard, and then
nervously asked "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone?"
"Yeah," I promised.
He lowered his voice even more.
"I've kinda wanted to be a girl for... well, as long as I remember."
"Ohh..." my eyes went wide. I looked up at him... I mean her. "You...
don't seem like it..."
"I hide it. Bury it deep down inside me. My parents wouldn't approve and
school would be a nightmare and..." she sighed, "it just seems safer for
it to be a secret fantasy than anything else."
We continued in silence.
"But..." she continued, "then this happened to you, and everyone's
accepted it so easily and you seem to be having fun, I mean I hope you
don't mind if I say you're rocking it, and I've been thinking... I've
been jealous of the girls for being born like that for so long, but I've
never been jealous of anyone like I am of you. I don't hate you, but..."
"You just want what I got..." I said quietly. "I can see that. I mean I
don't think I understand how you feel..."
"Did you ever want to be a girl before?" she asked.
"No, never."
"Do you want to be a boy now?" she also asked. "It's OK, I won't tell
anyone..."
"Not at all," I said with a laugh. "Going back to being a boy would be
like a tragedy." I hated to brag in front of her, but I was now in love
with this body. Even the shortness was growing on me, becoming part of
my identity. I am Michelle, and I'm tiny!
"Then you don't know how it feels, yeah..." she quietly said.
"But I do feel for you," I said. "If there's anything I can do I'll help
you. And I'll keep this between us until you're ready."
"Thanks." She shook her head and breathed out. "You'll... you'll keep an
eye out for clues then? I'll try anything."
"All I can say is try the second stall in the boy's bathroom next to the
hall. I pooped there and then it happened. But... don't get your hopes
up. I don't know if the where or what or when had anything to do with
it."
"Thanks," she said. She sounded disappointed, and not unjustifiably.
"No problem," I said. "And... sorry it turned out this way. If I could
go back and have this affect you instead of me, I'd do it."
"That's fine," she replied. "It's not your fault." She then smiled. "And
I'd feel terrible taking your chance to be a girl away when you look so
happy about it."
She dropped back to blend back in amongst the guys.
I kinda felt shitty about this. I was not unhappy about it but I had
never asked to be a girl, and if someone was handing out the boobs and
vaginas there were obviously people they probably should have gone to
first. It made me wonder why I had been picked. Michael had clearly
never wanted any of the things Michelle was starting to take for
granted.
No answers sprung to mind. How could I possibly know the why when the
who and how were so shrouded?
We stopped for lunch on the hillside. I chased down Cliff to get my
sandwich and water, and sat by him to eat it.
"What you got?" I asked him.
"Just ham," he said. "I really can't stand mayonnaise and everything has
that on it. You?"
"Egg salad," I replied.
"That's Michelle's favourite," Ruby said from above me. She sat down,
with Alexis next to her. "Remember it well, you may be tested later."
"I wouldn't do that," I said.
"Soooo, sitting down together for lunch, eh?" Alexis said mockingly.
"It's not like that," I lied, blushing, "it's just I don't have a bag
anymore so he carried my lunch for me..."
"Ooooh, he carried your lunch for you!" Alexis said.
"Enough of that!" I squeaked.
"You two have a lot to learn if you want to be as lovey-dovey as Yoshiko
though," Ruby said. She pointed out Yoshiko and Louis sitting some
distance away. He was feeding her a bite of bread.
"Feels like that would be better with anything other than pre-packaged
sandwiches though," Cliff said.
"Yeah, that's pretty much bottom of the barrel," I agreed. "but I guess
you work with what you have."
"As with food, so with dating," Alexis mused. "You can only take what's
available."
"And you have to hope they're not covered in mayo," Cliff said.
"Unless you're into that."
Eventually Cliff went off for a moment, and Ruby sidled up to me.
"Well? How's it going?"
"With Cliff?" I asked. "It's... moving, I guess? I never had a
girlfriend before, and definitely never a boyfriend, so I don't know..."
"I'm so jealous," Ruby said. "A girl for about three days and you
already have some romantic interest," she said, semi-sulking.
"Don't worry..." I said, trying to be cheery. "I'm sure your day will
come." Maybe soon now that I had that talk with Marcus.
"Yeah right. So what are your plans for him?"
"Well..." I squirmed a little. "He asked me if I wanted to work with him
on some extra credit."
"Oooooh!" Alexis mockingly squealed. "Extra credit!"
"I mean actual schoolwork! Tonight..."
"So it's a date," Ruby said with a wry smile.
I considered denying it, but why bother.
"Of a sorts, I guess," I said, beaming.
"Well, hopefully we get back in plenty of time to get you ready then!"
Ruby said. She looked up at the sky. "Especially considering that..."
I looked up too. The clouds I had attempted to shoo away earlier had got
a lot closer.
An hour later we were hurrying back through the rain, the walk
cancelled. We had already come more than halfway around the intended
route, so we hadn't turned back, but we marched grimly through an
absolute downpour.
I was utterly drenched. Of course I had not packed my jacket or cagoule,
and neither had most people including Mrs Waller. It felt awful. My hair
was sodden and the ponytails dripped everything onto my blouse, which
was sticking to my skin. My shorts were clinging to my crotch and hips,
my underwear getting itchy, and my shoes waterlogged.
And for some reason the boys, given to staring at the best of times,
were just not able to pull their eyes off me. That creep Daniel in
particular kept pointing at me and excitedly talking to other boys,
though I couldn't make out what he said. Eventually Ruby took me aside
in the heavy rain and warned me not to wear a grey bra under a white
blouse again. When I looked down I was quite horrified to see the shape
of my boobs, the line of my cleavage and the dark shadow of the sports
bra were all visible through the goddamn blouse!
I walked with the girls for the rest of the way, with the boys up ahead,
where they kept turning back to glance at all of us.
We got back at about 3PM. As a group we hurried back to the girls' dorm
and lined up for the shower, peeling off sodden clothes as we waited and
doing our best to wring them out before hanging them up wherever we
could find space.
I returned to our room eventually, wrapped in a towel, to find Yoshiko
and Jennifer already there. They were also wearing their towels, but
didn't seem to be in a hurry to change out of them. Instead they were
just sitting around chatting, Yoshiko with a bottle of nail polish in
her hand.
They looked up attentively when they saw me.
"Do you know what time it is, Michelle?" Jennifer asked.
"... three thirty-five?" I said hopefully.
"It's barely enough time for you to get ready for your date!" Yoshiko
said.
"It's not a date, it's a study session..." I half-heartedly said.
"Anything boys and girls do together is at minimum a demi-date!" Yoshiko
insisted. She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "It's time to make
your best impression!"
"Sorry, already do," I said cheekily, pushing out my chest.
"Weak sauce," Jennifer said.
"You need to complete the look," Yoshiko added.
I smiled, and pretended to shrug. I had been playing at defying them,
but the truth was I was excited about this. I really wanted to look
good.
It turned out there were many steps to looking good. Many many.
First, I was bussed back to the bathroom to wash my face. Then to
exfoliate it, and apply moisturizer. Yoshiko and Jennifer stood over me
the entire time, ensuring I did it thoroughly.
Then we returned to the room and opened up the primer, and Yoshiko made
me brush that all over my face. Concealer to hide the blemishes.
Foundation to put the other makeup on I guess? They walked me through
every step and expressed jealousy at my makeup kit, which was supposedly
comprehensive and expensive.
There was a disagreement about how I should touch up my complexion, but
the two of them eventually settled on some light blush and highlighter.
There was a small crowd growing, our room's other occupants and those of
room 1 gathering to watch Yoshiko and Jennifer work on me and talk me
through it. I suspected half of them were here for makeup tips for
themselves. Anna and the Adams twins kept butting in with disagreements
about what order to put things on and how much and what tone... and so
on. There was a variety of opinions.
Then, it was eyes. Yoshiko had me do this myself, and I was grateful for
that because I didn't want her waving pencils at my eyeballs. Not that I
was any more comfortable doing it myself. Eyebrows with the pencil
thing, eyeshadow was an ordeal involving three kinds of makeups,
eyeliner was terrifying to apply and mascara was just weird, waving that
weird spiky brush millimetres from my pupils. They had me keep as light
a touch as possible, didn't want to go overboard and have to wash
everything off and start over.
Finally, my lips. I had lip liner, which neither of my guides had used
before, so we skipped that and Yoshiko picked out a nice subtle
lipstick. I was going to go for the classic vivid cherry red but she
shut me down, and in hindsight that would have been a bit much... as if
getting the works for a study session wasn't a bit much already. Putting
on the lipstick was a strange sensation. I had used a Chapstick before,
but this was stickier and trickier. You couldn't just rub it on, it took
precision.
"All right," Yoshiko said. "I think... it's done." She held up a mirror.
Inside was the finished article. It was me, or at least the girl's face
that I now thought of as me, but it practically shone. Yoshiko and
Jennifer really know what they're doing. It defined my eyes, drew
attention to my cheeks and mouth, made me look...
"I hate to sound vain, but..." I smiled and practically squealed,
"perfect!" I looked up at my teachers. "You two are amazing!"
"Oh, we're just getting started," Yoshiko said.
We spent the next hour rooting through my clothes pile, looking for cute
combinations.
I stood there in my underwear, holding a skirt. This... I'd realised too
late, but the makeup was a rite of passage. So was this light, airy
thing in my hands. I'd been a girl for three days now but this was the
first skirt I was considering putting on.
The band was elasticated, so I pulled it on and tightened it with a
little buckle on my hip. It felt light, I almost still felt naked. It
came down to slightly above my knees. I was acutely aware that anyone
seeing up it would see my underwear. That felt... not exciting?
Dangerous, in a good way.
"How do you like it?" Ruby asked.
"... different. Good different," I said. "I guess I'll, well, need to
remember to close my legs when I sit?"
"I wouldn't worry about it," Ruby replied. "Haven't you noticed? You've
been doing that all this time."
"Really?" I asked, my eyes going wide. "I hadn't noticed." But... then
again, now that I thought about it I had crossed my legs when I sat down
for breakfast. I hadn't needed to, I had been wearing shorts, but it had
seemed like the thing to do so I'd done it without thinking...
We tried a few things to go with the skirt, but nothing really inspired
me. So we continued to dig through the clothes pile, Ruby pulling out
the stack of dresses. It was there we found it.
Just a loose-fit white sundress, plain and tastefully lacy. It had a
pair of spaghetti-straps and the hemline showed the bare minimum amount
of shadow to qualify as cleavage. It cinched loosely at the waist before
becoming an even more airy skirt that came down to knee level. I felt
like the whole thing could blow away, it was so light. I think I loved
it.
I couldn't help but giggle a little. I did a little pirouette, arms
outstretched, feeling the skirt rise up as I spun. I stopped and it took
a moment to settle, wrapping around me a little before falling back down
to where it had been.
"That's you," Ruby said, almost proudly.
"Yeah, that's the one," Yoshiko added.
"Yeah... I think I'm into this," I replied, looking down at myself. Of
course, I momentarily had to take it off to swap my bra for a strapless
one, but when that was done I looked at Jennifer.
"What about my hair?"
"Well, what do you think?" Jennifer asked. "I could braid it for you
again, or teach you to braid it..."
I mulled it over for a moment. I really wanted to try new things...
"I think I'll keep it free..." I said. "But... maybe a ribbon or
something?"
We quickly agreed that I should tie all my hair back with a black and
red ribbon, worn at an angle on the top of my head. And then sweeping
all my hair back revealed that I'd been wearing the same stud earring
for three days straight, so of course the girls insisted I swap it out
for something a bit more dangly, and they found a pendant next to the
earrings which I had to put on, and THEN there was the question of socks
and shoes which was eventually settled when I insisted on no socks or
tights, rather liking the air and soft cloth of the dress against my
legs. So we ended up picking sandals to wear, and since my toes were on
show the toenails had to be painted, and if you're doing that why aren't
you doing the fingernails?
SO EVENTUALLY I looked at the clock.
"It's 5:40!" I gasped. "This has taken two hours!"
"The results are worth it though!" Yoshiko said proudly.
"You are going to slay that poor boy," Alexis said. "He is not going to
know what hit him."
I went back to the big mirror in the showers. This was a weird thing to
think, it was certainly vain, but I could proudly say that if I'd seen
myself though my old boy eyes, I would have considered myself a real
beauty. That was a cheering, exhilarating, and terrifying thought. But
it was all for a good cause. My heart was telling me I liked Cliff, and
that was starting to feel like cause enough to do anything.
"Still, though," Alexis said. "It IS a bit much for doing homework."
"So much for studying," Ruby said with a wink. I playfully slapped her
shoulder.
"You know," I said, "Cliff will just have taken 5 minutes to throw
whatever clothes seem freshest on."
"So we've heard," Alexis replied.
"But imagine how he'd look if he put in as much effort as you have,"
Yoshiko said.
I found myself wishing he would... but also acknowledging that it
probably wouldn't be necessary.
There was an electronic click, replicating the sound of an old camera,
and a flash of light. We all turned to see Sharon pointing her phone at
me.
"What the hell are you taking pictures for?" I asked.
"Observation evidence. Posterity."
And then she was out of there before any of us could catch her.
It was agreed among us girls that we couldn't let Cliff see me until
right at the ideal moment for maximum impact, which meant going to the
cafeteria for dinner was right out in case he spotted me. So Ruby went
over and snuck a small plate of chips and chicken goujons out, smuggling
it back to our dorm, and we covered me in a sheet to act as a full body
napkin, so there was no chance of a single crumb getting on my dress. I
ate about half of what she brought, plus half a can of coke, before I
felt stuffed.
Then it was go time.
I hustled to the corridor, just inside of the locked door, and waited.
The plan was Alexis would loiter outside until Cliff showed up looking
for me. Then, when he asked her if she'd seen me, she would enter the
dorm to 'look for me,' and I'd go out.
Seconds passed like hours.
We'd arranged to meet at 6:30. It was now 6:36. Suddenly my stomach was
churning, my head swimming. The siding was all I could look at as I
fidgeted among the waiting girls. I kept staring at my phone, waiting
for it to click over to 6:37, or for the text that would cancel this
whole thing. The realization was hitting me.
I'm about to go on a DATE! With a BOY!
I'd been a girl for three days, but somehow I knew if it had been for
sixteen years I'd have felt just as unprepared.
6:37.
"You look like you're going to fold up into a square," Yoshiko said.
"Stand up straight!"
I tried to stand bolt upright.
"Not that straight! Look, it's okay," she said kindly, "this is just a
little study session remember?"
"Just remember, it's up to you what you study!" Jennifer piped up, and
they all giggled.
"You're not helping," I pouted at her.
"She'd a little right though," Yoshiko said with a smirk. "Look, YOU'RE
in control! You're the puppet-master, you have everything you need to
pull his strings and make him dance however you want." Her voice grew
quieter. "So, if you want to flirt a bit, or hold his hand... or even
give him a little kiss..." she smiled broadly, her eyes suggestively
half-closed, "well, I can recommend it."
She leaned back, looked at me and giggled.
"You should see your face," Yoshiko said.
"Can you blame me?" I asked. I could hear in my voice every note of the
embarrassment and tension I felt. Both my vocal chords and my heart were
high strung.
Then the door opened, and Alexis casually walked in, closing it behind
her. The corridor fell completely silent.
I immediately started rushing for the door, but Alexis barred my way
with a forearm across my bare collarbone.
"Sssh, wait. Don't be in such a hurry," she whispered to me. "Make him
wait for you."
"Where's he been?" I whispered back.
"Dumbass hates to ask for help, it seems," she whispered back. "He was
out there for ten minutes before asking me anything."
"Ten minutes?" I asked. "I better get..."
"Wait!" Alexis said, pushing me back.
"Give it a minute or two," Ruby whispered. "He thinks she's gone to find
you... not that you're waiting here to burst out and see him as soon as
he gets close."
"Which you are doing."
"But it looks a bit desperate."
I am a bit desperate! Desperate to see what happens next! Desperate to
see how he likes my makeup, and my dress... if he like ME in them!
Desperate to untie this knot in my intestines.
I waited for a full minute more. Then Yoshiko quietly said...
"OK, as casually as possible, slip out the door. He's right outside. It
is NOT a big deal to you that you look like this. This is natural for
you. For him it's a revelation, but for you, it's just Tuesday. You
picked it, so own it."
I swallowed, as Alexis lowered her arm and gave me a rare genuine smile.
I did my best to loosen up, tried to wipe the worry off my face, and as
casually as possible stepped up to the door and stepped out.
The hall outside was unchanged, not much more than a couple of people
milling about. I could hear a ruckus from the game room, another one
from the cafeteria, some shouting from the boys dorm, total silence from
my own.
It took a moment for me to look left and up and see the back of Cliff's
head. He seemed to start and turn, and as he did I saw his eyes widen.
His eyes travelled from my silky hair, to my bust and little bit of
cleavage, down to the airy skirt and the bare legs, back to my chest,
and finally to my face. His eyes were wide and his mouth open.
"Michelle!" he almost yelped. "Oh! Uh! Ah! Um." His eyes darted away
from me. I could see him resisting the urge to scratch the back of his
head. "S-sorry I'm late!"
I looked at his face. He was turning red!
My god.
It was working! The hair, the make-up, the dress, it was working! The
thought filled me with as much elation as anxiousness.
"It's okay," I said with a smile. "I needed a moment to get ready
anyway." More like two freaking hours, but I wasn't telling him that.
"So, are we going to go somewhere?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah," he said shyly. So cute! "There's a place I found that'll be
nice and quiet, good place for studying."
"Well," I said, clasping my hands behind my back - ok that was maybe a
little much for him - "shall we get going then?"
He looked me up and down again. Confusingly for me, he suddenly looked
puzzled.
"Don't you, uh, have your workbooks?" he asked.
I froze, mid-flirtatious pose. I'm sure my eyes must have turned into
circles.
Oh CRAP. I'm such an idiot! This is a study session!
"Ah. Ah ha." I looked down at myself. Of course I didn't have them! "I
seem to have... yeah, I've forgotten them...!" Dumbass! "Give - give me
a moment!"
I turned back to the door and went to unlock it, searching this dress
for non-existent pockets.
Oh CRAP! I'm an utter moron! I don't have my key!
I turned back to Cliff, and laughed nervously. He seemed a little
amused.
"I ah... don't have my key," I confessed. I rapped on the door. "Hey!
Can you, can you girls let me in?"
I ricked glancing back at Cliff. He had taken a step back and was
casually watching me, a smile on his face.
"Sorry... I just need a moment..." I nervously said.
"It's OK, I can wait," he said, obviously quite entertained at my
screwup.
"Sorry..."
There was a click from the door. I pushed my way in past a stunned
Jennifer and slalomed down the corridor between Ruby and Alexis, who
seemed to be restraining Sharon. Their eyes widened as I rushed past.
"Michelle?" Ruby asked. "What happened?"
"Nothing!" I squeaked out. "Nothing except I ruined everything!"
I scooped up my workbooks and clutched them to my chest, along with the
first handful of pens I could find. I also grabbed my key and, for lack
of any ideas where to put it, slipped it into the left cup of my bra,
where it sat cold and pointy against my tit.
"She forgot her workbooks!" Alexis was now laughing.
"Shut it!"
I pushed back post them and burst out the door, holding my workbooks in
front of me like a breastplate. I must have exploded out of the dorm,
since I almost ran into Cliff on the way, and had to stop for a moment
to recover my equilibrium.
I could hear laughing from inside the dorm.
I breathed heavily for a moment, hunched over my workbooks, and tried to
grin up at Cliff.
"Got em!" I said.
The magic that had rendered him incapable before me had apparently
broken. He was smiling down at me though, a black backpack in his hands.
Now that he wasn't flustered before me, I was the one taking in how
broad his shoulders were, how very tall he was... and while the black t-
shirt he wore left plenty to the imagination, I HAD seen him in the
shower as a boy and knew exactly what it was hiding...
He graciously rescued me from my thoughts.
"Come on, it's out here."
He beckoned for me to join him, and I walked over, sandals clacking on
the tiled floor.
We left the lodge through the front door and turned left, following the
wall of the building.
"I was looking for a nice place earlier," he said, "and found a cool
little spot."
We turned when we came to the corner of the building and he led me down
a rougher stone path. It was a little overgrown. I felt grass brush the
sides of my sandaled feet, an odd sensation. We proceeded round to the
back of the building. In the distance, toward the other end of the
building, I could see a pale blue structure.
It turned out to be a plastic picnic table in a clearing behind the
lodge. To my left I passed what I assumed was a staff door to the
kitchens, the fire escape from the cafeteria, and a shed with what
seemed to be an unlocked door. I glanced inside - musty and dark inside,
but plenty of room. But we ignored the room for now and I was led to the
picnic table at the end of this path. It should have been soaking wet
after today's rain, but seemed dry. Had Cliff come back here earlier and
wiped it down?
"We should be able to get some peace and quiet here," he said.
"It's nice," I said, appreciatively. The place was unkempt, but had a
natural beauty, especially with the woods right there. We were in the
shade of the building, but the evening sun still lit enough of the scene
for us to work. Cliff sat down on one of the picnic table's benches, and
I took the seat directly opposite him. Part of me was hoping I could get
him to stare at me as much as possible, and I wanted to maximise its
chances. I wouldn't have been able to vocalise or explain it... I just
wanted it to happen.
We flipped open our workbooks, and I started by explaining the frescoes
to him.
"All right," Cliff said, "let me see if I got this straight. So the
local lord joined the crusades..."
"That's right."
"And the company he joined set off for Jerusalem, but they kinda got
lost or distracted on the way..."
"Yeah."
"So, to make up for their failing supplies, they started raiding
villages along the way..."
"Yup."
"... which included destroying a whole bunch of Jewish settlements..."
"Unfortunately so."
"which was... kinda going against the whole reason for the crusade?" he
asked, puzzled. "Right?"
"Nobody said these people were very smart or thoughtful, or not super-
racist," I responded.
"Yeah. So eventually he turns back and comes home, gets these frescos
made which tell a bunch of lies about his glorious victories at
Jerusalem, trades them for indulgences which is basically buying
forgiveness, and then even gets to keep them at his own private chapel
because he says that's part of the church."
Cliff sat back and stared at his notes.
"What a bastard," he said, disbelievingly.
I shrugged. I saw Cliff's eyes flick to my chest as I did so.
"Better hope those indulgences worked," I said.
Cliff came around and sat next to me to show me his diagrams of how the
portcullis worked. Seemed pretty straightforward - rope, pulley, winch,
sword to cut the rope and send the whole thing crashing down on some
poor bastard, impaling him through whatever body part got crushed under
it.
"How come you got an easy one?" I asked.
"Luck of the draw, isn't it?" Cliff replied.
"I guess." I'd have to copy this out, wouldn't I? And write a few
paragraphs on how it worked. I sighed and put down my pen, wishing I'd
brought a pencil and an eraser, and put my hands down on the bench.
... where my right hand landed square on top of Cliff's left hand.
I jumped and jerked it away, before looking up at his face. He looked
shocked, and was blushing.
"Ah! S-sorry," I stammered.
"It's... it's okay," he said. "I... didn't mind."
We sat in silence for a moment. The two of us uncomfortably close. I
could smell him. It wasn't unpleasant.
"So..." I said... "about the winch..."
"Michelle?" he said. "I'm, uh." I heard him swallow. "I'm really glad
you're a girl now."
I looked up at him, my eyes wild. He had turned beet red, and was
awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
"You were always a smart guy, but you've turned out really pretty too.
And..." I watched his Adam's apple quiver as he gulped again, "really
cute. And beautiful. And..."
"All those words mean the same thing, silly..." I said, trying to laugh
but with an almost compete shortage of breath.
"And there's not enough of them," he replied. "Would..."
He held out his palm and looked directly into my eyes.
"Would you like to go out with me, once we're back home? It's hard to
have a date here... but I'd like to go to the movies with you, or the
park, or we could go shopping..."
I couldn't breathe. I had tears in my eyes. My chest hurt. I never felt
better.
I nodded. I nodded again, more vigorously.
"Yes..." I eventually choked out. "I'd like that. You're... a real sweet
guy Cliff, and handsome, and smart. I... ah..." I swallowed hard, and
smiled. "I think I like you a lot."
I put my hand in his palm. It felt tiny in there, my slender fingers
brushing against his, which felt huge in comparison. Even though I knew
they were nothing special, the contrast was what was important.
"I like you too..." he said.
I pulled on his hand. He was twice my weight and his arms were like tree
trunks compared to my twigs, but he folded easily when I applied the
slightest pressure, bending down to where his lips could meet mine. We
pecked each other on the lips a couple of times, before I dared to open
my mouth a little more and felt my tongue brush his teeth and then, a
moment later, his tongue. We didn't go deep, we didn't yet dare, and I
don't know how long it lasted for, but when we pulled apart I felt like
I had to be glowing.
"Wow..." I said. "You're... pretty good."
"I think that was you," Cliff replied. "I was just along for the ride."
"Well..." I said, turning redder, "turns out we can do great things
together."
"So, I guess that's a yes?" he asked. I giggled.
"Hehe... for sure."
We tried to return to work for a while, but kept getting distracted by
further kissing. It was wonderful, sitting there by the quiet forest,
Cliff's hands on my back and my waist, mine on his lap. I couldn't help
but be so grateful that I was now a girl - with neither of us being gay,
this would never have happened if I were still a boy, and missing out on
kissing Cliff seemed unthinkable now.
Eventually the moment was ruined when Cliff's phone beeped. We ignored
it, but then it beeped again, and again.
He pulled away from our current kiss.
"Sorry..." he mumbled. "If this isn't important I'm going to kill
someone..."
"It's OK," I said. I needed to catch my breath anyway.
Cliff pulled out his phone and checked his messages. His eyes widened
and his face paled.
"Shit..."
"What is it?" I asked, leaning forward. He got up.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I need to go for a moment. My bags got knocked
over in the dorm and apparently some of those guys are picking through
them, nosy bastards... if I don't go sort it out, things'll get broken
or go missing... or they'll find something to make fun of..."
"Oh, right," I replied. "I get it. That's okay. Are you going to be
back?"
"As soon as I can," he said, smiling, and he leaned down to peck me on
the lips again. "We're not done here, right?"
"Right," I said, batting my eyes. I saw him shiver. "Don't worry, I'll
be fine here for a few minutes."
"I'll be back as soon as possible."
He then ran off, along the back of the lodge and around the corner. I
could hear him grumbling as he went.
I turned my face back to the schoolwork, tucking my arms in so that my
elbows were against my waist but my clenched fists were by my shoulders.
Then after a moment I squealed and threw my hands up.
I had a boyfriend!
A really nice one!
He thinks I'm smart and pretty! He loves me!
I'm so glad I'm a girl!
I lowered my arms and stared down at the workbooks, but I really wasn't
thinking about them. My mind was awash with the possibilities. We'll go
on dates! I'll go to the Christmas dance with him! I'll have to pick the
very best dress ever, I had to be the absolute sexiest girl there, I
knew he'd be the hottest guy there for me. I wonder if he likes my long
hair of if he'd like it shorter? I didn't have to change for him, but I
could if it wasn't too bad, maybe I'd like it too. But maybe my long
hair was what attracted him? Maybe it didn't matter! He'd like me either
way! What movie should we go see first? He might think I'd want to see
some chick flick, and I was more interested in giving them a fair shot
now that they were supposedly for me, but I really wanted to see that
Spiderverse sequel with him now! It was out soon! I wonder if I could
cosplay MJ? I had the hair for it. But those movies weren't really about
her, and I was the wrong ethnicity for the MCU version... but Cliff
would make a pretty good Peter! I'd never considered cosplay before, but
wasn't it worth a shot? Hey, how about Jean Grey? I'd have to see if he
wanted to go along with that. What if we took a trip somewhere? Isn't a
couple renting a rowing boat meant to be romantic? Or we could go to a
fair. Are there fairs around here? You never hear about them. I WONDER
IF I COULD BE ARIEL AND HE COULD BE THE GUY FROM THAT MOVIE -
"Hi, Michelle," a boy said from behind me. "What's up?"
I leaped in my seat and spun around. Oh shit. Daniel was slouched a few
feet away. I could feel his pale eyes boring into me, tracing the shape
of my waist and butt under my dress before alighting, as usual, on my
chest.
Everything about how he looked at me just creeped me out. I turned away
and started hurriedly gathering up Cliff's and my workbooks.
"Doing ok," I said.
He'd walked up to my left hand side, entirely too close and looming over
me. I glanced up at him and regretted it. He was clearly staring down my
cleavage.
"I was just going though..." I said.
"Oh, come on..." he moaned. "Do you have to go now? I've been wanting to
talk to you for a couple of days..."
"What is it?" I curtly asked. He was blocking my route off the left side
of the bench. If I wanted to stand, I'd have to spin 180 degrees,
swinging both my legs over the bench to my right.
"You're uh..." he said, scratching his nose. "You're looking really sexy
today..." he said, and then realised he should correct himself. "I mean
you're pretty. You're really pretty for someone who used to be a guy."
That wasn't quite as welcome a comment as he thought. I spun my legs
over the bench and got up.
"Thanks, I guess, though the guy bit's not important," I said, gathering
the pile of workbooks up and hugging them to my chest with my right arm,
hoping they'd make a barrier against his stare. It worked a little.
"Still, I'd better be going. See you."
I started to walk away but he chased after me.
"Come on! Stay for a bit! I'm just trying to be nice! What's wrong with
saying you're pretty?"
"You don't just come out and say it!" I yelled at him. "Maybe I am, but
the way you say it, it's like it's the only thing that's important!"
"But it is important!" I kept walking away from him. "Come on! You'll
practically slather yourself over the other guys, but you won't talk to
me?"
"Because you're a creepy weirdo!" I spat back. "I probably know that
better than any of the girls! I knew it perfectly well when I was a guy,
and god I wish I'd done something about it! Because I could tolerate you
before but now you just creep me out!"
"That's not fair!" he said. "I'm no worse than any other boys!"
"Have you even seen my face?" I asked. "Other guys at least try to
pretend they're not staring at my tits!"
"Then don't put them out there!" he yelled. "Don't show them off if you
don't want people to see them!"
I glared at him. He continued.
"It's not fair to put them out there and say we have to ignore them!
You're just trying to pull in a boy, but it's like everyone says online!
Girls are just desperate to pull in some horny chump they can control
but the second anyone with any brains takes an interest, they cry 'no,
don't look at us, we're not for YOU,'" He was spitting as he spoke.
"It's not fair! All I want is a fair shot!"
"Of course it's not fair!" I yelled back. "I'm not something that can be
shared fairly! And..." I really wanted out of here now. I quickened my
steps, "they're MY tits, and I can do what I want with them, and I can
show them off if I want to!"
"All right," Daniel said, "but we all know what you want! You want some
guy to touch them!"
"You're gross!"
"You want them squeezed!" He was chasing after me now. "You're desperate
to be fingered and fucked! It's been obvious since the day you changed!"
"Fuck off!"
"So why not me?"
He lunged, and grabbed my left arm from behind me.
"Daniel! What the fuck!?" I squealed as loudly as I could. "Let go!"
He twisted my arm around my back. It felt like there was nothing I could
do to resist. I simply didn't have the strength in me.
"Come on, just let me..." he grunted.
I saw his right arm coming around, reaching for the books I clutched to
my chest. I tried to bat it away but fumbled the books in the process.
"Let GO! LET GO!" I said, panicking. "HELP! HELP!" I screamed.
"Shut up, you know you'll like it..." he muttered. I saw his arm swing
around again, and tried to bat it away, but my arm was knocked upward
and his came back in below it...
"AAAAAAAH!" I screamed, closing my eyes.
And then, in the blackness, something happened. Something shifted.
Daniel's hand definitely clutched my right breast. I did NOT like it.
But something was... wrong. The grip on my left arm felt looser. I shook
it off, swatted Daniel's right hand off my boob, and staggered forward a
few feet.
"What the FUCK, you bastard!" I screamed, tears in my eyes, at...
...
... her?
A girl was standing there, looking surprised. She was wearing Daniel's
clothes, which looked comically oversized on her. Her t-shirt was baggy,
her jeans almost hanging off her hips, the trouser legs pooling against
her shoes. Her face wasn't particularly pretty, though her eyes were a
little cute, and her hair was roughly four inches longer and shaggier
than it had been, though completely unstyled. She still seemed slightly
taller than me, though much less curvy upstairs and more curvy down
below.
I squinted at her, disbelievingly.
"Daniel...?"
"The... hell?" she asked in a low mezzo-soprano, and looked down at
herself.
I realised one of my feet was cold. One of my sandals had fallen off in
the fight. I hobbled over to it, trying not to put any more than the
tips of my toes in the grass, and slipped it back on.
When I looked back at Daniel, she had pulled the collar of her shirt out
and was looking down it, while reaching up into her shirt with her other
hand. She was apparently giving herself a breast exam.
"Dude, I've got tits..." she said in shock.
"Hey! Stop doing that here!" I yelled at her. "Anyone could see!" I
pulled her rubbing hand out from under her shirt.
"The hell, Michelle?" Daniel asked. "You turned me into a girl???"
"Of course not! I can't do that! Why the hell would I do that? You
should be arrested, not, not... feminised!"
"What? Come on! You were asking for it..."
"I fucking wasn't!" I shouted, jabbing her in the collarbone. "That was
all in your sick head! And guess what! If you think all girls are asking
for it, well, so are you now! Right now! Forever! You're just constantly
fucking desperate to be groped by guys who're like the boy you used to
be!"
That stunned her into silence. I could see some gears turning. Maybe she
was remembering how she and her online friends talked about girls like
her.
I turned away and squatted down, picking up the dropped workbooks. As I
did, I heard running sounds from around the corner, and Henry and Robert
rounded the corner. They looked at the two of us in some surprise.
"We heard some screaming?" Henry said, his eyes darting between Daniel
and myself. "Are you two all right?"
... I opened my mouth to tell them what happened, but the words stuck in
my throat. I... didn't want to say. There was... something. Something
shameful about what happened. Something I didn't want anyone to know.
Something I wanted to bury in myself until I couldn't see it. I looked
down at how I was dressed, thought of my makeup, thought of my absurd
figure...
What if they think I WAS asking for it? I wasn't, but... what if they
blame me?
I stood up, hugged the workbooks to my chest again, and nodded back over
my shoulder.
"I was just having a fight with this bitch," I said, coldly. "Don't want
to talk about it."
I walked past them, back around the corner, and started heading back to
the front door of the lodge. As I walked, shoulders hunched and head
down, I heard Henry hurrying after me.
"Michelle? Michelle." He drew up beside me. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," I said.
"What happened there?"
"I said I didn't want to talk about it, Henry," I snapped. "We just had
a fight."
"Well, yeah, but a fight wouldn't usually end up with Daniel looking a
bit more... feminine?" Henry asked, leadingly. I sighed.
"Don't ask me about that. I really have no idea. I had nothing to do
with THAT."
"I guess not." He shrugged. "I guess it's okay, though I'm sorry she's
you girls' problem now. The guys won't be sad to see her creepy face out
of our dorm."
"Yeah, well, maybe you..." I paused, "WE should have done something
about that before this happened."
"Like what?"
"Hell if I know... talk to her I guess..."
I was interrupted by a loud yelling behind me.
"MICHELLE! Hey Michelle!"
Daniel was behind us, shuffling her feet as she walked, holding up her
slipping jeans with both hands. Why was she shuffling? Maybe her shoes
were too big now? I'd been given fashionable clothing that fit when it
happened to me, but her clothes didn't seem to have changed. Hell, her
chest wasn't very big but as she drew nearer it became pretty clear she
wasn't even wearing a bra.
"What?" I asked curtly.
"Uh... so, what next?" she asked.
"Next you go back to the boy's dorm and leave me the hell alone."
"I can't go back there!" she squealed. "It's the BOY'S dorm!"
"Then find a tree to sleep in!" I turned and started to walk away.
"Oh come on!" she said, almost cheerily. "I... I need your help here!
Aren't girls supposed to look out for each other?"
I turned and slapped her face in one clean movement. My palm stung, but
her face shot sideways in a very satisfying way. She even dropped one
half of her jeans, letting them slip down and revealing a slack set of
briefs and a bit of thigh, which she scrambled to cover back up before
Henry and Robert saw much too much.
"The hell? Michelle?!"
"We're not friends, Daniel!" I yelled at her. "I hate you! I will not
help you! Stay the hell away from me!"
And I marched off as quickly as I could.
As I hurried toward the girl's dorm I thought I spotted Cliff out of the
corner of my eye. He was leaving the boy's dorm, and I pretended not to
have seen him. I didn't want him asking what had happened. So I subtly
fished the key out of my bra and entered the girls dorm as quickly as
possible.
Once inside I finally breathed out, and leaned my back against the door.
I just wanted to collapse.
I dragged myself back to our room and, almost ignoring anything else,
slumped down on my bed and laid back.
"-ichelle?" I heard someone say. I opened my eyes and looked up. Ruby's
upside down head was peeking down from her own bunk above me. She was
looking at me with excited eyes.
"You're back! How'd it go?" She took another look at my expression, and
her brow furrowed. "... not good?"
Her head vanished, and then she was climbing down from her bunk. I sat
up as she sat on the bed next to me. She looked worried.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "You look... terrible."
My eyes hurt. I could feel them puffing up, water trickling onto my
cheeks. Ruby wrapped her arms around me and I rested my hear on her
shoulder, putting my own arms around her back.
We stayed that way for a minute or two, me just crying on her shoulder.
Eventually she said, "Jesus. What did Cliff do to you, Michelle?"
"Nothing," I said. "He was perfect. He was nice, and respectful, and
kind... and smart, and handsome..." I squealed. "He was great. He... he
asked me to be his girlfriend, and we're going to go on dates... I think
he loves me."
"That sounds great, I'm happy for you," Ruby said, somewhat uneasily.
"But... that doesn't sound like it ends in tears. At least, not this
kind of tears..."
"No... it doesn't," I sobbed. "But then Cliff had to go, and Daniel came
along and she wasn't quite as good..."
"She?" Ruby immediately asked.
"Oh, she's a girl now," I said. "But that's not the important part..."
And I told Ruby all about the incident we'd had. And about all the fears
that had been building in me over the last fifteen minutes, rushing into
the space where my self-awareness of my vulnerability should have been.
Of course Daniel wasn't going to do more than grab my boob at this
school trip, especially with me screaming my head off and Cliff probably
returning at any moment. But if she'd had the desire and opportunity to
do much worse... I couldn't have stopped her. As a boy, she'd completely
overpowered my tiny body that was weak by girl standards, and she'd
hardly been the biggest or strongest boy around. And she could have done
so much, much worse...
"Michelle..." Ruby said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know, it's
horrible..."
"Is this what it's like to be a girl?" I asked.
"I'm afraid it's almost the unwritten rule about guys, but it's the one
everyone knows," Ruby said. "You're going to be afraid, sometimes. You
don't always have to be, and you can manage it by being careful, and
prepared... but you're a girl. Guys are going to make you uncomfortable
and feel like you're in danger, because sometimes you are."
"How do you live being afraid of half the people on the planet?" I
asked, emptily.
"I just trust that most of them are cool people who would never hurt me.
I really think they are. You know those boys upstairs better than anyone
else in the girl's dorms. Do you think they would have done this? When
you were a boy, would you have ever thought of doing what Daniel did?"
I swallowed. I didn't feel like I could be anything other than 100%
honest.
"Honestly? I fantasied. Not exactly the same fantasy, a lot more
consenting, but I did fantasize a lot. But I wouldn't have done it like
she did..."
"Exactly. I've always known I could trust you not to hurt me or anyone
else. I believe that about most of the boys up there... and well, looks
like the really troublesome one I could never trust isn't so much of a
problem to us girls now."
I nodded, giving a little laugh.
"Henry told me that Daniel's the girls' problem now," I said. "He
couldn't be more wrong."
"Yeah, Daniel was always our problem, not the boys'," Ruby said. "But if
her sexuality's done the same thing as yours, the boys are about to find
out what kind of a problem she can be."
I laughed bitterly. We broke the hug.
"Listen, Michelle," Ruby said warmly. "When we get back home, how about
I invite you along to the self-defence class I take?" I nodded. That
sounded good. Ruby continued. "And, how about we both start hitting the
gym? We can put some muscle on those twig arms of yours." She smiled and
wrapped as much of her thumb and forefinger around my bicep as she
could. I laughed and swatted her hand away.
"Yeah, sounds good. And, Ruby?" I sighed and looked down. "Would you
mind not telling anyone else about this? I don't want this to become a
thing..."
"You're going to protect her?" Ruby asked, stunned. "Michelle, I..."
"No, I just don't want to walk about the lodge and have people thinking
'oh, poor Michelle, she got groped!' I just want to forget it ever
happened right now. And if it gets out it'll just worry my parents, and
cause a lot of fuss, and I don't want that..." I sat side-on to Ruby,
who was listening with a little bit of dismay on her face. "Besides,
Daniel being a girl now really muddles the situation. She's not a threat
to us anymore, and I feel like people are going to say it's not such a
big deal because it was only a girl doing it, and..." I sighed. "It's
just a big messy ball of confusion right now. I want to move past that."
"I don't agree," Ruby said, very firmly. "It doesn't matter if it was a
boy or a girl, she grabbed your boob by force and that's not OK. I think
you should go straight to Mrs Waller right now. But... if you really
don't want people to know, I'll keep the secret. Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I think so," I replied.
"Well, all right then." Ruby didn't seem happy about it, but I had a
feeling she would respect my wishes. "Changing the subject... you, uh,
really should go wash your face."
"What? Why?"
"Maybe just go look in the mirror," she said with a smirk.
My mascara was everywhere! It was an absolute disaster! I had to wash
the entire set of makeup off, which I would have had to anyway, and
after washing my teary eyes I felt much better. We relaxed a little
after that, just hanging out in the dorm room. I pulled out my phone,
which had a message from Cliff on it.
CLIFF CARROW: hey whered u go? U ok?
MICHAEL ADAMS: im ok. just had to leave quick. sorry. got ur workbooks,
will give back next time i see u
CLIFF CARROW: oh ok. see u tomorrow?
MICHAEL ADAMS: yeah, love to (kiss emoji) (love hearts smile emoji)
(heart eyes emoji)
CLIFF CARROW: (multiple couples with heart emojis)
CLIFF CARROW: did y know ur phone has ur old name
MICHAEL ADAMS: yeah I gotta fix that sometime
I went into my account settings and tried to get that updated. Took a
while but soon my phone's account was saying I was a girl named
Michelle, a very pleasing state of affairs.
Over the next hour or so, Yoshiko and Alexis and Jennifer drifted back
to the dorm, and I had to recount multiple times the story of my make
out session with Cliff. I kept in most of the salacious details while
completely expunging anything about Daniel. The sound of their teasing
'ooooooohhhsssss!' rang through the dorm, and I had to hide my beaming
and flushed face in my pillow quite a lot.
After a while, Mrs Waller came and knocked on our door.
"Good evening girls," she said. "Time to get to bed soon. Just stopping
by to let you know Danni James will be sleeping on a bedroll in room one
for the rest of the week, so expect to see her around."
I almost jumped off my bed.
"What?!" I looked around at the other girls. They seemed equally
dismayed, or at least confused.
"Danni?" Rose spat.
"Danni James?" Jennifer asked. "You mean... Daniel?"
"She's a girl now, and calling herself Danni," Mrs Waller said. "So she
can't very well sleep in the boy's dorm anymore."
"But... Danni?" Alexis said, pulling a face. "It's all very well
Michelle becoming a girl and sleeping in here, but she was all right!
This is Danni you're talking about!"
"I understand your concern," Mrs Waller said. "I really do. But Danni is
definitely a girl now, and as far as I can tell from talking to her, her
mind's changed quite similarly to Michelle regarding girls and boys.
However, I have made it clear to room one that the second they have a
complaint about her behaviour she will be heading home, and the same is
true for room two. I think you should give her a chance and accept her
like you've accepted Michelle..." she said, and then lowered her voice a
little. "But yes, this is Danni we're talking about."
She straightened up.
"Also, classes are cancelled for tomorrow, so it'll be your free day
instead of Thursday. I need to escort Danni into town so she can buy
some clothes that'll fit her, and Mr Danes can't keep you all under
watch by himself."
Mrs Waller left, and I regretted not speaking up. I really didn't want
to make a big deal of Danni assaulting me, but now she was going to be
in room one. I hoped they all knew to stay on their guard. Maybe I
should talk to them... thought what could I tell them that they didn't
already know about Danni's behaviour?
I got my opportunity when bedtime came, and encountered room one
denizens at the sinks brushing their teeth.
"... so jealous you're getting to go shopping tomorrow," Lisa was saying
cheerfully. "I'm going a little stir crazy after being out here in the
woods for just a few days."
"Do you want to come with me?" Danni asked. "I'm sure Mrs Waller
wouldn't mind." She had removed her oversized jeans at some point, and
her t-shirt was long enough to drape over her entire torso and crotch. I
did see her try to hitch up her loose boy's briefs as she brushed her
teeth though.
"Seriously?" Lisa asked, "Yeah! That'd be fun. I'll help you pick out
all the cutest stuff!"
I couldn't believe it! They were just chatting to her casually!
"You do know that's Danni James?" I said from behind them, saying the
name as scathingly as I could. "The super-creep? She tried to..." I
swallowed, "grope me earlier." Technically true.
They fell silent, and looked at me. Danni froze, and then continued
brushing her teeth, spat, put her brush away and wordlessly left the
bathroom, not even daring to look at me. Anne, who had been on the
opposite side of Danni than Lisa, shook her head and the two of them
stalked over to me.
"Yeah, we know," Anne quietly hissed. She didn't seem so much mad as
frustrated. "Look, we don't like having her in our room either. But
she's all right... well... she's a little better now she's a girl. At
least she's not after us. We've decided to give her the benefit of the
doubt for now."
"To Danni?" I hissed back.
"Yeah, to Danni! And don't lecture us about her being a gross pervert.
We've been dealing with her since she realised we had training bras,
you've been dealing with her for three days! We know! But she's changed,
and we're going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now, and maybe
we'll manage to do something you and the boys never tried to do and make
her a decent human being."
... she had me there.
"... all right. Just wanted to... let you know I guess," I said. "Just,
watch yourselves."
"Don't worry, we've been doing that around Danni for a long time."
I brushed my teeth once they left, scrubbing a bit more angrily than
usual after being dressed down like that. Then I went to bed, the second
one to climb into my sleeping bag after Jennifer. Once five of us were
bunked down Sharon was returned to us by an annoyed Nemea. Apparently
Sharon had been loitering around the door to room one, scribbling in her
notebook and mumbling about Danni, and had to be physically forced to
leave.
Once the lights were out I lay on my back and tried to sleep, but my
thoughts swarmed in the dark. I was still furious with Danni, but the
shock was fading. More and more, I found myself wondering again about
who or what was changing boys into girls here.
What had been the differences and similarities between what happened to
Danni and I? Hm...
Similarity: A boy turned into a girl in an instant. Well, that was
obvious.
Difference: I hadn't been assaulting a girl when I changed.
Difference: I'd been given clothes that fit. My hair had been cut and
styled. I'd even had an earring and some nail polish. Danni was still
wearing exactly the same clothes, her hair was a mess... she hadn't even
been given a bra.
Difference: A lot of my belongings had also changed. I'd been gifted a
thousand pounds worth of clothes, my Switch was now a pink Lite, my
toilet bag and toiletries and shoes and everything... all for a girl.
Danni was going to need to go buy clothes tomorrow.
Similarity(?): I liked boys now. Supposedly so did Danni? I hadn't seen
this for myself but that's what they said.
Difference: Everyone had accepted me as a girl immediately and all the
other girls had immediately trusted me. Danni didn't quite have that,
though it was satisfying to put that down to the difference in our pasts
and personalities, not a difference in whatever happened to us.
When you looked at it, there were more difference in what happened to
the two of us than similarities. Why? I got all those clothes, why
didn't Danni? Did whatever did this think she didn't deserve it? She
didn't, but I don't know what I did to deserve it, except maybe it was
an apology for the inconvenience. Or maybe it was because whoever
changed me was prepared to do it and had planned for the clothes issue,
while Danni's was a sudden decision? It could be both or it could be
neither...
I tried to put the thoughts out of my mind. It didn't feel like it was
worth worrying about right now. The more pressing issue was whatever
room one was needing to endure right now, and I couldn't help with that.
Instead, I tried to fill my head with thoughts of Cliff, and happily
drifted off to sleep thinking of his arms around me as our tongues
brushed against each other... and thinking about more we could do...
I rose from my throne, glaring down at the disgusting criminal before
me. The feathers and leaves in my crown wafted gently in the wind. My
dress was backless and short, little more than scraps of brilliant
cloth, the most beautiful feathers, a gold shoulder-piece and a ruby-
encrusted silver plate over what would be an exposed nipple. It left
nothing to the imagination but I could wear what I want, because I was
the god-damn Queen of my lands!
My amazons stood in a horseshoe around the near-naked bound and gagged
criminal, their own leather and metal armour skimpy and beautiful. They
pointed their long spears at it.
"This is the one that has defiled your royal person!" Ruby, captain of
my guard, announced.
"What shall we do with the manling?" Alexis, most terrifying of my
warriors asked.
I scooped up my own spear, and pointed it at his unrepentant throat.
"Let the gods take their judgement."
Suddenly, his body convulsed. My guards stepped back in surprise as he
fell backwards as if struck in the chest. We saw his entire body seem to
shrivel and shrink as it shook, if not for his gag I was sure he would
be screaming. Soon all his visible muscle was gone, his waist thinned,
and we saw his hips began to grow wider and rounder, much like our own,
and his flat chest swell with the gifts of feeding young ones. His voice
was lightening in pitch, his hair growing longer, and even though we
could not see inside his loincloth we knew he had been blessed with the
most holy and glorious power to nurture life we all shared, that
blessing which set us apart from the brutes.
He fell unconscious, and Alexis crept over to check his chest and search
his loincloth.
"She is as us!" she said in shock.
"What?" I asked, in fury. "This is not a punishment! This is a blessing!
This is an outrage!"
"Your majesty..." the wise woman said from behind me. She wore a strange
garment called a 'Sailor Moon t-shirt' and a pair of shorts, her eyes
glinted behind glass discs and her hair was wild. I was not actually
that convinced she was very wise. "The gods have made their choice, but
you can still punish her if you want. If you exile her she'll have to go
out into guys' kingdoms, where she'll probably be treated like she
treated you. Hard to say if anyone deserves that, but it would be
fitting. But if you let her stay, she could become a pretty good girl.
But you're queen, so really it's up to you."
I glared down at the figure below me and tossed my regal red hair, the
sign of royalty. I truly despised this criminal for her crimes against
my person. But...
"This kingdom was founded on protecting our kind. Put her in the
dungeons, for now. We shall see if she shall repent and swear fealty,
and to live by our ways. If not, she shall be exiled."
My guards started to drag her body away, and I angrily returned to my
throne. I wished to have given the harshest sentence, but somehow could
not conscience it. Frustrated, I sat down on my throne.
"I tire! Bring me a manling!"
A portcullis on the left side of the room opened, and I was pleased to
see my favourite step out, trailing his chain behind him. He was tall,
broad, and muscled, his skin less rough than the others - I had
instructed the keepers of the manlings not to whip this one. I removed
the silver nipple plate, bade him to touch my great blessing, and
allowed his lips to touch mine. My guards all knew to turn away.
As I slept, I made various happy gurgling sounds. As a bonus, I didn't
roll over onto a tit tonight!