Unrequited
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For the full erotic version, see ‘Impromptu Attraction’ in the Romance category.
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She opened her eyes slowly, her vision getting clearer with each blink. The early morning light streaming in through the windows made her head throb, and she immediately regretted however much she’d had to drink the night before. Gradually her head stopped spinning enough for her to realize this wasn’t her bed, and she had absolutely no idea where she was.
‘Great, just what I needed.’ She sighed. Yesterday she had been so optimistic, but it seemed that everything had gone as wrong as it possibly could.
She thought back to all the events that had led to that moment.
The morning before, Julia had woken up in her small apartment as usual. She had followed her regular Saturday morning routine of cooking breakfast before drawing a hot bath. As the water had flowed over her skin she had thought about the night ahead, and the possibilities it held.
For the past three months, Julia had been working at a small but popular political magazine. Her marketing degree was finally being put to use, and she proudly called herself the Assistant Director of Advertising. A fairly impressive title for a twenty-four year old, but it was less remarkable considering the advertising department consisted of her and one other person.
Julia was in charge of finding new clients and convincing them to buy ad space, while her partner Marilynn schmoozed existing clients into staying on and buying more. The job meant she spent a lot of time on the phone quoting prices and making exaggerated claims, but it held her interest. And even if it didn’t, there was plenty more around the office to keep her occupied.
Though it had a staff of just under twenty people, the magazine had more than its fair share of attractive men. Being only one of two women in the office certainly had its advantages, as Marilynn was sure to point out during the orientation session.
‘Welcome! Your desk is here, the break room is there, and the bathrooms are just around there. Now that we have all that out of the way, let me introduce you to the guys.’ Julia had gotten the feeling she was going to like Marilynn: she was in her early fifties with bleach blonde hair and a passion for leopard print clothes, and the two had hit it off immediately. Before Julia had had a chance to sit down, Marilynn had introduced her to nearly every man in the office, paying particular attention to the single ones.
But even with all the choices Julia only had eyes for one man, and he just happened to be the boss.
The editor of any widespread publication is bound to have a certain appeal, but those who happen to be tall, dark and handsome are nearly irresistible. For months Julia had been trying to get up the nerve to talk to Mark on a more personal level, but every time she chickened out at the last minute. So instead she had watched him from her desk, savoring any small contact she had with him and replaying trivial conversations over and over in her head.
Their talk had always been about business, and she had never had the nerve to ask him anything about his personal life. But tonight was going to be different. It had to be.
A few weeks earlier Mark had made the startling announcement that he was standing down as editor in chief. His replacement had already been named, so all that was left was to wrap up some loose ends and say goodbye to the magazine. A farewell party was being combined with the annual Christmas party, and tonight Mark would leave the offices for the last time.
The announcement had come as a shock to Julia, but it also gave her the courage she needed to finally make a move. She liked to tell herself that it would have been weird to date her boss, so really it was better for everyone that she waited until now. In reality she was relieved that if she made a complete fool of herself in front of Mark then at least she wouldn’t have to face him every day.
As she sat in the bath thinking about the possibility of having Mark all to herself, she started to get more and more excited. She had been planning out what she would say to him for days, and as the water drained from the tub she went over the words again in her mind.
She climbed out of the bath and threw on some sweats, then started planning her outfit for the evening. Despite the cold weather she opted for a relatively short blue dress, but pulled out a pair of thick black tights as a compromise. With nothing else to do Julia sat down at her computer to work on a presentation for Monday, and despite constantly checking the clock the time passed by.
When she finished her work it was time to get ready, and she paid attention to every meticulous detail as she put on clothes specifically chosen to accentuate her best features, and makeup to make her green eyes stand out. Despite her ineptness with hair she managed to get her wavy brown locks into an impressive updo, and with one last look in the mirror she grabbed her coat and headed for the bus stop.
Julia’s coworkers were notorious for being disorganized, and every issue of the magazine went to print just under the wire. Parties, however, were serious business. The annual tradition was to have the Christmas party at the office and use the money saved on a venue to get more food and drinks. This year was no exception, and as she stepped off the elevator Julia could smell the food long before she saw it. Tables were pushed together on one side of the office to create a buffet, while the other side boasted an impressive selection of alcohol.
After doing a quick sweep of the room and saying hello to her colleagues, Julia grabbed a plate and a drink and settled down to wait for her moment with Mark. She had planned out exactly what she was going to say and was rehearsing it in her head when he walked in. Mark had a certain presence in any situation, and as soon as he walked in the whole room noticed.
While Mark began talking to his colleagues Julia grabbed another drink to calm her nerves. She kept her mind on what she was going to say, down to what gestures and tone of voice she wanted to use. Before long she saw her opportunity: Mark had left the columnist he was speaking with and was headed towards the bar, so Julia quickly started walking in the same direction.
‘Hi Mark! Having a good evening?’ Julia tried to keep her voice steady, but her heart was beating faster by the second.
‘Best going away party I’ve ever had, though that’s not saying much.’ He smiled and started telling her about getting fired from his first job and wondering if anyone ever noticed he was there at all, let alone that he was gone. She hung on his every word, laughed in all the right places, but still her mind was on the task at hand.
‘Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Do you mind if we-‘ Her question was cut off by an announcement.
‘Time for the guest of honor to make a speech!’ shouted the senior staff writer. A round of applause went through the room and everyone turned to Mark. He feigned modesty before going to the front of the room to address his staff. Julia’s heart sank a little, but she was sure he would come back and she would get her chance.
‘What can I say? You’ve been the most ethical, professional and efficient people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with,’ he began. A roar of laughter followed, Mark waited for the noise to die down before he continued. ‘But seriously, it’s been great working here.’
That’s when everything went wrong.
As soon as Mark started talking about his future, Julia’s world was turned upside down. She would not remember the speech exactly, but the words ’emigrating’ and ‘fiancée’ would stand out sharply in her mind.
Everyone else in the room was excited that their boss was moving abroad to work for an internationally recognized newspaper and a round of applause spread when Mark announced he would be jo
ined overseas by his fiancée. To add insult to injury, he was also delighted to tell everyone that she would be arriving at any minute.
Right on cue, she walked through the door. She was unbelievably tall and irritatingly slender, and Mark proudly announced that she was a former model. Of course she was.
Julia felt numb as Mark put his arm around this perfect woman to finish his impromptu speech. She felt herself raise her glass in a toast along with everyone else, but in her head she was screaming. As soon as everyone went back to their conversations she rushed to the ladies’ room where she knew she wouldn’t be bothered.
She felt like sobbing her eyes out, but no tears came. In all this time, why had she never known he was with someone? In the end she just felt foolish, pining after someone who was clearly unavailable. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Marilynn come in.
‘Everything okay in here?’ she asked. Julia jumped at the question, but did her best to put a smile on her face when she replied.
‘Oh, everything is fine. Just came to get away from all the noise for a while.’
‘You really had no idea, did you?’ The question caught Julia off guard, and at first she considered playing dumb. She had tried her best to hide her feelings for Mark, but if there was one person who would pick up on it then it would be Marilynn. She knew everything there was to know about relationships, and had a string of ex-husbands to show for it.
‘No, I had no idea. But it’s fine, really. I’m happy for him.’ She managed a small smile, Marilynn didn’t look convinced. ‘Besides, it never would have worked out between us. He’s moving on to bigger and better things and I’m still getting settled in here.’
Marilynn put her arm around Julia’s shoulders. ‘You sure you’re ok? I can give you a ride home if you’d rather leave.’
‘Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine, really.’ Julia let out a deep breath. ‘Come on, let’s go enjoy the rest of the party.’
By the time they came out, Mark and his fiancée had left, which came as a relief. Julia headed straight for the bar and poured herself a stiff drink, then sat down to think about her situation. The more she thought, the more she wanted another drink.
The rest of the evening was hazy at best. Only small snatches of conversation stuck out in her mind.
‘Julia! I’m making my signature cocktail, come have one,’ she remembered the senior staff writer calling to her. She had quickly finished her drink to try his mystery concoction.
‘Who’s up for a game of quarters?’ one of the young photographers had shouted. ‘Julia? You in?’ She had agreed.
From then on all she had was flashes of memory: sitting on the floor when no chairs were available, trying to find a radio so she could dance, leaning her forehead against the cool window pane and thanking it for feeling so nice. Everything after that was completely blank.
Her reminiscing didn’t get her any closer to figuring out where she had woken up.
She assumed someone from the office had taken her home with them, and she had the sinking suspicion it wasn’t Marilynn. She held her breath and flung the covers off of her, and breathed a sigh of relief to see she was still fully dressed. Her thick tights had a few runs in them, but they were still on her legs. No one, no matter how hard they tried, would be able to get them back on her successfully, so she was glad that at least no one had taken advantage of her in her drunken state.
The relief was short-lived and the throbbing in her head came back to her attention. She glanced around the room as she rubbed her temples, and was surprised to see a plate of toast and an enormous glass of water sitting on the bedside table.
She couldn’t help but smile, whoever brought her here was either very considerate, or had done this a few times before. She ate the toast and drank the entire glass of water, and started feeling more like herself.
She got out of the bed on unsteady legs and started looking for clues about whose room this was. The clothes in the closet were all men’s, but that could mean anyone in the office.
She saw a photograph sitting on top of the chest of drawers, and started scanning it for a familiar face. It was clearly a snapshot from a family vacation: two parents and full-grown brother and sister, who looked so close in age they might have been twins. She recognized the face of the younger man in the photo, but couldn’t believe her eyes.
Julia knew very little about Ben, but just enough to know that he didn’t like her. He was the art director at the magazine, so he was in charge of designing the graphics and layout of each issue. The little contact she had had with him had been very short and to the point, with no friendly conversation of any kind.
Their cubicles were across the aisle from each other, and on several occasions Julia had noticed Ben watching her with a look of annoyance on his face. Of everyone in the office Ben was the last person Julia would expect to go out of his way to help her, especially to go to all this trouble.
As she put the photo down she thought this must be some mistake. Maybe the picture had been in a Christmas card that everyone in the office but her had gotten, and she was in someone else’s apartment right now.
She slowly crept to the door and eased it open, listening for any sounds before sticking her head out into the next room. There on the couch, fast asleep, was Ben. He was still wearing his suit from the night before, his jacket tucked under his head and his glasses lying on his chest.
Julia stared at him for a minute before backing into the bedroom and easing the door shut. She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to decide what to do next. Finally she decided that a hot shower was the best idea, an idea confirmed by her reflection in the bathroom mirror.
After the much needed shower she dried her hair as best she could with the towel that had been laid out for her, and pulled her dress and tights back on. She found her shoes sitting neatly at the foot of the bed along with her purse, and she did her best to make herself presentable with what little makeup she had in there.
She found her coat thrown over a chair, and hoped that once it was buttoned up she wouldn’t look like she was making the walk of shame. Once she had everything together, she carefully opened the bedroom door and started making her way across the apartment.
She thought the best thing to do would be to sneak out unnoticed and forget this whole thing ever happened, Ben could go back to hating her without having to admit that he was once nice to her. She felt bad about not being able to thank him for all he’d done, but it was probably for the best. She got all the way to the door before his voice called out to her.
‘Good morning,’ he said from the couch without opening his eyes. She froze with her hand on the doorknob, so close to making it out.
‘Oh! Sorry, I didn’t realize you were awake. I was just leaving,’ she finished lamely. She suddenly felt the full awkwardness of the situation hit her all at once and she wished she had just kept walking out the door.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes before taking in her wet hair and clean face. ‘I hope you found everything you needed, I figured you weren’t in any condition to go looking for things.’
Despite the situation and how uncomfortable she felt, Julia couldn’t help noticing something different about Ben. For a start he wasn’t looking at her with his usual glare, and he was saying more than was absolutely necessary. This made her even more confused, and she hesitated still with her hand on the door.
‘Yes, thank you. And thanks for letting me stay here, I guess I got a little carried away last night.’ She knew she owed him a much bigger thank you, but at the moment all she wanted was to go.
‘Not a problem, it’s not every day I get to throw a coworke
r over my shoulder and carry her to my bed.’ A shy smile crossed his lips, and she could have sworn he started blushing just a little.
Julia hesitated, not sure what to say next. ‘Well, uh, thanks again. Um, guess I’ll see you tomorrow?’
‘Do you need a ride home?’ Ben asked, rising from the couch and putting on his glasses.
‘No no, I’m sure I can manage.’ She smiled weakly. ‘Well, bye!’ She practically ran out the door and down the stairs to the street. Once she was there she got her bearings and started making the long journey back to her apartment.
Her head was still spinning from the hangover, but also with the events of the morning. Not only had a man she thought hated her gone well out of his way to be extremely helpful, he had actually been friendly about it. Had he really smiled at her?
Once she got back to her apartment she stripped off her clothes and flopped onto the bed without even bothering to get dressed. She pulled the covers over her head to think about what had happened, but instead fell into a deep and much needed sleep.
The next morning Julia dragged herself out of bed to get ready for work. The day before had consisted mostly of sleeping, and she was glad she had finished her work before the party. She had a presentation to make to the new boss, but her mind was focused on something else. All evening she had tried to make sense of Ben taking care of her, and the more she thought about it the more confused she became.
She arrived into work early, settling in at her desk while the office was still quiet. Before long her coworkers started streaming in, some obviously still recovering from the party on Saturday. Soon the office was buzzing about the new editor’s first day of work, and Julia was relieved that her behavior had gone unnoticed.
The talk about the new editor reminded her of what she was trying so hard not to think about: Mark. She was angry with herself for so many reasons, but it still hurt to think about being in the office without him.
Julia did her best to put him out of her mind and get back to work. She put the finishing touches on her presentation before heading to the break room for a cup of coffee. She hadn’t realized someone else had the same idea.
Ben was standing in the break room waiting for the coffee maker to finish when Julia walked in the door. He turned to her and smiled.
‘It’ll just be another minute,’ he said. She nodded but hesitated by the door, not sure whether to move forward or come back later. Ben turned back and pulled her coffee mug down off the shelf, putting it on the counter next to his.
How did he know that was her mug? Julia inched closer to the counter, standing next to Ben as the coffee maker finished its cycle. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and realized she had never really taken a good look at him.
He was several inches taller than she was, with broad shoulders and thick light brown hair. His wire rimmed glasses distracted from his eyes, but even from this angle she could see how blue they were. She watched him drum his fingers on the counter and shift his weight, keeping his eyes on the coffee maker. Julia suddenly realized that he was nervous, and when she took a step closer the symptoms got worse.
Her mind flashed to all her other encounters with him: the short conversations, the darting eye contact, the feelings of awkwardness. He didn’t hate her, he was uncomfortable around her. While she tried to figure out what she could have done to make him feel that way, the coffee maker buzzed to signal it was done.
Ben grabbed the pot and poured hot coffee into Julia’s mug before filling his own and putting the pot back into the coffee maker. She leaned forward for the sugar just as he moved back from replacing the pot, and their faces met. They froze. She was close enough to smell his soap, and feel his breath against her face. He hesitated for a split second before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.
Julia’s head was still reeling from the realization that Ben didn’t hate her, so the kiss caught her completely off guard. Despite everything, she felt the strange urge to kiss him back. Before she had the opportunity they heard the fast clicking of high heels approaching, and had just enough time to straighten up before the door was flung open.
Mila
- 11.09.2022
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