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The Almost Complete No Turning Back free porn video
The Almost Complete No Turning Back
By Cassandra Ann
Note: This is my first story. I'm sure it's riddled with holes, writing
errors, spelling errors and might not be any good. I invite honest
opinions as I want to learn and you don't learn unless people tell you
what's wrong. Thanks for reading and I hope it's not too bad. BTW some of
this is true, some of this is fantasy and I let you ponder fact from
fiction :)
(Note: the first half of this was written many years ago. I've corrected a
few grammatical errors and added an ending. I lost the original ending
years ago thus why it took so long to finish.)
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First the mandatory background...
I don't know why I dressed in woman's clothing. I guess it made me feel
relaxed and calm in my world of stress. As I aged this urge became more of
a compulsion but I was able to keep this secret world of mine hidden from
not only the outside world but also my spouse whom I loved dearly and
adored. I'm not sure if the internet helped or made it worse. You see the
internet, while a wealth of knowledge and a door to another universe where
you can be whomever you want, was also an enabler to me. It allowed me to
do things that I would never do otherwise like shop for woman's clothing,
makeup, shoes and, and as I discovered later, even hormones.
Skip forward twenty years...
My spouse found out eventually and while understanding and somewhat
supporting, she would rather I keep my little "hobby" to the confines of
our home. In other words she was accepting as long as no one else knew
about it. Considering what I have read about other transgender marriages,
I considered myself lucky. Years of on-again, off-again hormones had given
me a female shape including small breasts with very large nipples and dark
aureola and a huge bubble butt and hips. Let me tell you... these creep up
on you because you forget that female hormones do not just target your
bobbies but your entire body. I could no longer take off my shirt in front
of people and I even had to start wearing an extra t-shirt to work because
I learned that what happens to women when they become aroused, also
happens now to me. One day at work I looked down and see two huge nipples
poking out of my shirt! Trying to make them go down only makes it worse
and you simple cannot turn them off. I learned that men's clothing no
longer fit my body so I needed to start buying female versions that looked
somewhat like men's. The problem with this is that while some cuts of
women's clothing looked almost the same, there are small differences like
smaller pockets in jeans or no pockets at all. Buttons on the opposite
side and lower cut necklines of shirts. Many of the pants and shirts
(tops) were cut to show off a woman's figure and not hide it like I
wanted. While woman's pants fit me so much better now, they actually drew
more attention to my bubble butt instead of hiding it. To hide it I
started to wear my tops longer and outside my pants and found tunics work
well. Needless to say these tunics may have hid my expanding ass and hips
but since there was really no male equivalent, all I ended up doing was
drawing more attention to myself instead of less.
I kept trying to stop taking the hormones but they made me feel so good.
It's hard to describe the feeling if you have never been on them but I
felt relaxed and whole. A peaceful calmness about life and the world
around me. Later, after years of taking these hormones, I discovered that
they also affected another part of me. A part that I hated and wanted gone
but a part of me that my wife liked. While making love one night my wife
stated... "I want you inside me" and this is when it hit me. You see I was
inside her and she could no longer feel me. Apparently the hormones had
shrunk me down so much that I could no longer please my wife as a male so
from this point on we became lesbians. I had to learn how to please
another woman as a woman because I no longer had functioning male
equipment. I actually became quite good at it and I'm now an accomplished
"rug muncher" so-to-speak.
Fast forward to the present. I wear panties and camisoles under my clothes
each day and upon arriving home I change into women's attire. I had to buy
another dresser to hold my additional clothes and I now own very little
male clothing. I've had some counseling where I was diagnosed as being a
true transsexual, a woman trapped in a male body, and I wear light makeup,
legs and underarms always smooth and even pluck my eyebrows a bit. I'm
still living with my bisexual wife who has accepted me as a lesbian but
she still insists that I keep this under wraps to friends and family. My
job is such that coming out would ruin my career so I'm very careful not
to go too far. I'm sure some may suspect but I've become quite the
actor... or actress. I've joined a few local transgender groups and I've
gone out a few times (at night) while dressed but I still look like a man
with curves so passable I'm not. I'm very careful to keep my two worlds
separate... well at least as much as possible.
So on to the story...
The urge to go out dressed was at it's peak during the spring of 2012.
This was not helped by the number of daily posts on one of the blogs I
subscribed to showing pictures of so many of the girls having so much fun
at the bars each night. What kept me inside was the fear of being stopped
by the police, having a flat tire or even getting in and out of the house
without the nosy neighbor seeing me. Both men and women look at other
women and these stares, even if I could pass, were unnerving to say the
least. So fear was keeping me inside but the longing to go out was
increasing to the bursting point. I've been out many times in full female
clothing but clothing that was unisex aside from subtle differences. I
wanted to go out fully dressed. Heels, hose, dress, wig... the full nine
yards! I noticed that there was going to be a transgender party the
following week and I was off the next day. I was determined to attend even
thought thoughts of drugs, orgies, group sex and all sorts of debauchery
came to mind. You see I was a bit of a plain Jane when it came to parties.
I never smoked, seldom drank and never touched drugs aside from the over
the counter stuff. My entire life was about control and any loss of
control scared me to no end. As the day grew near, my mind filled with
excuses not to go. It might rain, it might be too cold, too hot, too
windy, too dry, too nice... you name the excuse and I thought of it!
The night of the party proved to be perfect. The wife was going out with
her friends and would not be back until late. Even though she accepted who
I was, I just did not feel like explaining where I was going and what I
would be doing. Truth be told I had no idea what I would be doing. I took
my time preparing for the evening. If you want twenty pages on how I
shaved, what color makeup I used or how long it took to fix my wig, go
read another story. Suffice it to say that I did my very best and although
I wasn't passable even by a long shot, I think I was presentable. As I sat
waiting for the sun to go down, my heart was pounding as the mixed feeling
of anticipation and dread filled my head. The party was going to be some
distance from my home so the chance of running into someone I knew was
slight as long as I could get into the car without being observed.
Thoughts of the entire neighborhood looking out their windows or sitting
on their porch just as I had to leave filled my head but alas, as the hour
came, it was quiet and dark.
Getting into the car proved easy as we had a side drive. Once inside the
car I checked my makeup and set out for my first party! The farther I got
from home, the more excited I got and in no time I was pulling in front of
a storefront that was rented for the party. Two or three hours later
(actually only five minutes LOL) I exited the car and approached the
entrance. I was let in, paid a small fee and tried to blend in. Needless
to say a few of the girls walked up to me and introduced themselves. Their
warm reception and outgoing personality was contagious and soon I was
breathing once again. I explained that this was my first party upon which
they announced to everyone that I was a virgin who needed her cherry
popped. I was then dragged around to meet everyone and was surprised that
a few men where also at the party... at least I thought they were men.
Well the party started hopping and got quite crowded. A few of the girls
dragged me into the bathroom to fix my makeup when I observed some drug
use. I was still pretty nervous as the girls redid the makeup I had
brought with me. It was clear that the drinks were not watered down as
everyone seemed to be having a great time. I had a bit of a headache and
rubbed my temple when the girls asked me if I was feeling ok. I replied
that I just had a small headache and one of the girls opened up her purse
and gave me a small blue pill telling me that this would help me feel
better. Well I popped what I thought was Aleve, washed it down with my
drink, and went and sat on a sofa. As I watched the party, several men and
women walked up to me and it was clear they were looking for more than
conversation. I tried to be polite and in a strange way it made me feel
good inside that others might find me attractive even if they had to be
drunk or stoned to think so. I started to feel better when one of the men
sat next to me and put his arm around me. He started to rub my leg and my
heart started pounding. As his hand slowly moved up my leg, one of the
girls grabbed me and asked to dance. As we danced she explained what a
Tranny Chaser was and that the one sitting with me was one of the biggest
having bed several at the party in the past.
I started feeling really good and when I mean good I meant great! I never
felt so good in my life and things started to go so fast. I remember
drinking a lot, grinding myself on the dance floor against others and even
smoking a few joints. As I loosened up it seemed like an entire lifetime
of inhibition, repressed feeling and fear all melted away. I lost track of
time and as I warmed up I remember removing some of my clothing including
my heels and tossing them across the room. Hands on my ass, breasts, hips
and legs became the norm as I not only didn't mind but even encouraged it.
I was a total party slut until it all went black.
I awoke on a sofa in a darkened room. My head hurt, I had to pee and it
seemed like I was sore all over. I had no idea where I was but the room
appeared clean and well furnished from what I could see from the light in
an adjacent hall. As I looked for a bathroom and moved about, I felt pain
coming from several areas of my body. My lower back itched as well as my
chest and when I went to scratch, it hurt like hell. My face also hurt as
well as my ears, stomach and my ass. Despite my throbbing head I was able
to find a bathroom and turn on a light. It took a bit before my eyes
adjusted but when they did I just stared in the mirror. Although much of
my makeup had seen better days, my lips appeared to be lined with a fine
line just outside my natural lip line. The effect was to make my already
large lips look huge or so they seemed huge to me. DSL's or Dick Sucking
Lips are what they are called and it seemed that someone must have applied
some makeup on me at the party. In addition to the lip liner, I now had
fresh eyeliner that looked a bit strange as for some reason the liner
looked perfect but my eye shadow was smudged. My eyebrows were also in a
very high, thin arch which worried me because it would be hard to hide
them until they grew out. I've never looked so good even with damaged
makeup. After staring at myself in the mirror for a few minutes I then
discovered that I now had pierced ears. Now once but three times in each
ear! Shit, shit, shit, shit I kept saying and I must have woken up my
benefactor who stood in the doorway and asked if I was ok. As I would
discover later, Susan had taken me home with her after I passed out in a
cab. She told me we had better sit down and she made some coffee as I sat
at the kitchen table and discovered a few more little things. Apparently I
now sported pierced nipples, a navel ring and the pain in my back was a
large tramp stamp that I now possessed as well as a large rose on my left
breast. I was wearing one of Susan's robes and she informed me as she
served coffee that upon arriving at her apartment, all I had on was my
ripped dress. My panties, bra, purse and heels were missing in action. Not
having identification she decided to just take me home to sleep it off.
Some of what follows was told by Susan, some told to Susan by some of the
other girls but I remembered nothing. Apparently they dragged my out of
one of the side rooms where I was performing as quite the whore according
to the line of people leaving the room. They then dressed me as much as
possible and when one of the girls started crying she explained that the
pill she gave me was a strong dose of "E" that she thought I could handle.
Feeling responsible they called a cab and we went to another bar when I
insisted we stop a tattoo parlor next door first. Two hours later I left
sporting a large tramp stamp, a rose on my breast and my eyeliner, lip
liner and eyebrows... yep all permanent tattoo and electrolysis. The girls
tried to stop me but apparently I was VERY insistent, proclaiming to all
that I was going to be the girl I always wanted to be. As I sipped the
coffee I thanked Susan and started to cry. The weight of what I just did
to myself came crashing down. I could not hide this. How would I work,
what would I say to my wife, how would I even get home. From what Susan
described, I was quite the slut giving blow jobs, while being fucked with
no protection. Susan held me tight and told me that everything would be
ok. I could call my wife and explain that the party went late and that I
was sleeping at a friends. In the morning we would see if anything could
be done to make me look male again. With my already hormone enhanced b-cup
breasts, huge ass and hips, it would be almost impossible to ever pass as
male again with the permanent makeup, piercings, and eyebrows. I guess
there really is no turning back... I let my genie out of the bottle and
after many years of self repression, I now was forced, for better or
worse, to stop living a lie.
(NOTE: This is were the first part of the story ended. I had completed the
second part but alas it was lost. What follows is a new ended that came
years later. I hope the conclusion was worth the long wait.)
After I calmed down, popped a few pain killers and had some coffee, Susan
let me use her phone. A brief call to my wife went well as I explained
that I stayed with some friends after drinking too much. She told me to
take my time as she was going over to see her mother and might stay the
night. With this revelation, I breathed a sign of relief as I had another
day or so to try and put things right. At least I could get back into the
house while she was away. As I hung up the phone, I looked down and
observed my cute little barbells I now sported in my nipples. If my nips
where large before they seemed simply huge now and permanently hard. When
I tried to pull one of them out, Susan told me to leave them alone or I
might get a bad infection. Susan, I said, my wife will be away until
tomorrow. How can I fix this? Susan then told me there was nothing to fix.
I was a woman and this is what women looked like. As tears formed in my
eyes, I told her that I never meant it to go this far. Pulling up my shirt
and trying to look at the Tramp Stamp I now had I asked Susan what it
looked like. You really can't see yourself there without a mirror. Look
Cass, Susan said, after you got your cute little rose on your chest, you
wanted another. I did everything I could to talk you into a nice little
set of vines or some other Celtic design. The other girls did too but you
have to understand, there was no talking you down. You were kinda wild
and, well, you kind of picked out an interesting design. Susan, I looked
straight at her, what did I pick? Cass you have to understand, you were
yelling and swearing at the Tattoo Artist. You were drunk out of your mind
and you said some terrible things. You picked out a nice red heart with
vines. It was a bit large and we tried to talk you into getting something
smaller like the rose on your chest but you made us wait outside. The last
we heard you called the Tattoo Artist a pussy and told him to just do what
you said.
Susan continued, you were in there for over an hour and when you came out
you showed us a huge red heart and an intricate set of green vines
extending in both directions. We then gasped when we read what was printed
over the vines in script lettering... CUM SLUT, in bold red letters with a
black outline. It's actually very pretty.... Cum Slut, I shouted! Oh my
god. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? My life is over.... she
will never take me back like this.... Oh my god.... Susan! I started to
freak out as Susan hugged me and did her best to calm me down. There is
more Cass, Susan said. You've had electrolysis on your eyebrows. You now
have a permanent thin high arch. You lip liner is only semi permanent.
They would not do anything permanent until you had electrolysis take care
of your facial hair. By the way, I think you made an appointment to start
having that done. The card was in your purse but I think you left your
purse at the Tattoo Parlor and the way you treated the staff there, I
would not look forward to getting it back.
So at least my lips were not permanent. Susan told me I could fill in my
brows with some makeup to make them look fuller and more like a mans. I
started to calm down some. All I had to do was to remove these piercings
in my nipples and ears and figure out how to remove this lower back
tattoo. Although a more logical mind would have told me that this was all
impossible in a day, in my mind it all somehow seemed possible. I then
noticed Susan starting at me. What? What are you looking at? Well Cass, I
hate to tell you this but are you on mones? Mones, I said? Hormones silly.
I mean you have boobs, hips and a pretty nice ass. It took me years to get
what I have and I've been out 24/7 for years now, Susan replied. Well I
did take them years ago to just test them out. I had to stop when it
started to show but I hated the way I felt when I was off of them so I've
been taking some natural stuff you can buy at the local drug store. The
internet says they are safe and will not really cause much change. I do
like how they make me feel. Phytoestrogens, Susan said. Yeah I think they
call them that. I tried taking one a day but that did not do anything so I
read I should take 5 at each meal. 15? You take 15 pills a day after jump
starting yourself with the real stuff? How many years did you take the
real stuff Cass, Susan asked. Well 3 or 4 years I think. I stopped for a
month or two once but I hated how I felt so I started up again. When my
wife noticed my breasts were as large as hers I lied to her and told her
initially that it was a reaction to my blood pressure pills and I then
switched to the phytoestrogen thingies.
Well Cass, I hate to tell you this but you are a woman. I mean look at
you. You might not have noticed because it was so gradual but everything
about you cries woman. Your fat redistributed itself in a female pattern,
even your face, although not a fashion model, looks the very least like an
effeminate man. With makeup you're all woman! As I sat and stared at
Susan, I thought of all the small things I did to myself over the years.
They all seemed so small and, well, temporary. It was a way I could
express my inner feelings without losing my mind. It was clear to me now
that my wife knows more than she is saying and that I was only fooling
myself. The rest of the world saw who I really was. Being a bit of a
loner, I never really went out for drinks with the guys but now I realized
in those few brief seconds as I reevaluated my entire life, that the few
male friends I did have stopped calling or seeing me and now, at least at
work, I associated only with women who seemed to be most friendly toward
me.
So here I was sitting in Susan's apartment wearing a robe, recovering from
a night of giving blow jobs and getting fucked by men and other trans
women. I use the term other as I now had to admit who I was. I now had a
huge Tramp Stamp on my lower back that said Cum Slut, as well as pierced
nipples, ears and permanently high thin arched brows. Susan found me some
clothing that I was able to squeeze into and offered to drive me home. I
gave her a hug, thanked her for everything she did and said in
revelation... you know Susan, I have to admit that last night, even with
the parts that are foggy, was the best night of my life. I mean I could
have done without the "E" and being passed around like a common whore, but
truth be told I loved every minute! In a way I can't wait to do it all
again. Does this make me a slut Susan? Susan replied, look baby, you had a
lifetime of repressed feelings and let them all out at the same time. It's
understandable and let me tell you, you're not the first and will not be
the last. Us girls have to stick together and if for any reason things do
not work out with your wife, well I could use a roommate. You're always
welcome here. In a fleeting moment, I thought to myself how much fun that
would be. Could I leave my wife? Would she even care? Was she seeing
someone already? I mean the physical part of our relationship was almost
nonexistent.
With those and many other thoughts going through my mind, she drove me
home and as I walked up the front steps on a Sunday morning, as the
neighbors watered and cut their grass, no shoes, ripped pantyhose and a
short dress, I wondered what my life would become from this day forward.
What do you think I did?
Authors Note: I hope this part matched up with the first part. They were
written years apart. I could go on if you want. I welcome any comments and
suggestions. This part two being only my second story, I hope there were
not too many errors. Thanks for the read!
Elle
- 12.09.2022
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