Constant Craving
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Constant Craving
by Andrea Lena DiMaggio
Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin
Constant craving
Has always been
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The DiStefano home, London, Ontario, mid- October...
Owen DiStefano sat in the large wooden rocker in the living room. Nearly
Post-med and yet insecure as old hopes and even cravings had fallen by the
wayside. Unattached and living at home, with his hands bearing
metaphorical burns from carrying a torch...
"Honey? Lisa Caro said that Christina is home for Thanksgiving..." Owen
frowned at what he considered his mother's misplaced enthusiasm. It felt
bleak...even dark.
"Thanks, Mom," he said weakly as he limped slowly down the hall toward the
kitchen.
"What's wrong? Owen?" Carly asked. He shrugged as if he didn't know his
own mood, but she folded her arms with a smile and shrug of her own.
"I know you care for her, Owen. Is it because she's there and you're stuck
here?" Carly avoided both "L" words...at least for the moment. Her glance
around the home brought another shrug as he looked away and spoke.
"No... not really." Owen paused. Christina was only a short trip down 403,
but he was still wondering what his own next steps were after school
"What then honey?" The endearment was likely the most ironic clue she
might get if he stopped talking, but he shrugged one last time, more out
of surrender than indifference.
"She ... um...just girls, Mom. I'm not a girl." He sighed at the obvious
as the inevitable feeling of hopelessness sapped his strength.
"I suppose that means we haveourwork cut for us?" Carly smiled and
casually walked into the living room.
"We got this, honey," another voice called from the front doorway." Owen's
other mother Laurie walked in and sat down at the kitchen table. She
grabbed the carafe in front of her and poured herself a mug of coffee.
"Oh, hey babe." Carly kissed Laurie on the top of the head as she returned
and sat down. Owen leaned against the fridge in a self-hug.
"I think I'm following you, hon," Laurie said as she sipped her coffee.
"Yep. We should jettison the slow and steady approach, you know?" Carly
said, pointing to the book in her left hand.
"Just in case?" Laurie asked, but her gaze was on their son instead of on
her partner.
"Yep. We want what's best for OwenandChristina. And only they will know
that, no matter what we want or think? She's such a sweet girl, and I of
course hope that this is a good thing for her."
"What about me, Moms?" Owen shook his head, literally sending tears back
and forth across the kitchen table.
"What about what's best forme?" He was on the verge of the rest of his
life but still felt like a little kid who had been left off the invitation
list for a birthday party. What good would any this plan accomplish if he
remainedhimself?Maybe living in the shadow oftwoextremely talented mothers
was too daunting, but that was just the beginning. Laurie caught the look
on his face; an altogether too frequently displayed expression despite her
and Carly's efforts at encouragement.
"We love who you are, Honey." That endearment was soothing at one time but
left him feeling awkward.
"But we trust that we might know what you really want. You remind me of me
when I was your age, Owen. Your Mom?" Laurie patted Carly on the arm.
"She figured out and helped me discover myself. It's not what you'll do,
honey. It's who you are. We can try this, but if it isn't the best for
youorChristina, everything will just be the way it is now." At the
wordnowOwen gasped and mouthed 'oh no' without a sound. That feeling of
darkness seemed to illume his heart's desire by contrast.
"That settles it, sweetie. We waited as long as we could, but I believe
it's time!" Carly patted the book and got up.
"Another pot of coffee? This could take some time." Laurie said even as
she grabbed the bag of coffee from the cabinet.
"Special blend?" Carly laughed. The next hour or so would be oddly magical
in a very real sense, but the coffee?"
"Just Timmy's" Laurie held up the bag even as Carly moved the large wooden
rocking chair into the center of the living room.
"Is this going to hurt?" Owen cringed. "I'm such a coward, Mom."
"Only if itdoesn'twork, and every day if it does." Laurie called from the
kitchen, but Carly added,
"But every day will be wonderful." She maneuvered her son into the chair.
"Besides, apart from your Mom here, you are the bravest person I know"
Carly said pointing to a now- blushing Laurie,
"Do you trust us?" Laurie's question was greeted with a slow nod and
nervous smile. She grabbed Owen's cane and literally threw it across the
room.
"Hold on, Honey." His moms said in unison as Carly opened to a page almost
halfway through the book; made easier to locate by a bright pink bookmark.
"Before we start, you need to you know that youwere talking in your sleep
last night." Owen knew he tended to sleep fitfully, but he looked back and
forth between them as they smiled almost conspiratorially.
"If we heard wrong, this will just end here, but you really sounded so
sad. You were crying hard and you kept calling outhername.: Laurie said.
Owen looked askance at them and spoke.
""Christina?"
"No, Baby mine." Carly answered and nodded as she was joined by Laurie as
she spoke with a soft laugh,
"Ellen."
As the name sounded, Owen fell back in the chair. He felt as if he had
been hit by a lightning strike, and everything went black.
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Thanksgiving evening....two years later...
"You wash and I'll dry?" Two young women stood side by side at the double
sink. The taller of the two turned and waved at her Mom. Lisa waved at
Christina and blinked back tears. Her daughter was slated to graduate from
her doctoral program in December and had already been accepted into a
local practice. She clung to Nan, her partner and Christina's other Mom.
"Christina Caro, DVM." The girl next to her said as she spoke to the
Sheltie sitting at her feet. Ginger wagged her tail as if she understood.
"AndEllen DiStefano, DVM," Christina answered back.
"Mrs. Ellen Caro-DiStefano," Laurie called from the dining room. She rose
and was quickly joined by Carly.
"Doctor-wives," Carly said as the four women beamed with pride at their
daughters.
"I was worried for a while." Lisa said as she looked back and forth
between the two at the sink..
"Yes," Nan said. "When you told us, of course we knew the spell would
work, but would it be what was best for them? Would itreallywork?"
"Well," Lisa said as she started to laugh softly. She smiled at Carly and
then back and forth between Nan and Laurie.
"It really worked for you two." Nan and Laurie nodded.
"Well, there's that," the formerDanteCaro said
"Well, Carly not only knew whatshewanted, she knew what I needed... what I
craved..."Laurie, the formerLorenzoDiStefano added. She smiled as she
gazed at Ellen and Christina, noting that their daughter -in-law was
probably about three weeks from blessing both families with twin
granddaughters.
And Carly nodded with a broad smile before stepping close to draw the love
of her life into a very satisfying kiss...
Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth
Constant craving
Has always been
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Constant Craving
Songwriters: K. D. Lang / Benjamin Mink
performed by Charlotte Martin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgL8GTdPHA8
AND
the incomparable
K D Lang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg
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