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Piss Test
by DirtyMindedMom
I pull into the parking lot of the clinic. I’m fifteen minutes early. I decide to sit in my car and wait. I shouldn’t even have to waste my time doing this. A piss test? For what? d**gs, they say. I’m a man about to turn 56 years old. I’m not messing around with d**gs at my age. Unless you count Lipitor or coumadin, and pretty soon Viagra. Maybe it’s just a ruse to get a health diagnostic so they could reject me without being liable for ageism.
I should be planning my retirement these days, not starting a new job where everyone on staff is probably half my age, with half the brains. I had to pay the bills, so there was no way around it. My wife didn’t have any marketable skills after more than 30 years as a housewife, so it was up to me. If I wanted to keep my sexless marriage afloat, I had to get out there and earn a living.
It isn’t entirely her fault that the sex has dried up. I had my part in it. It isn’t like I’d lost my sex drive. I could still get it up, and I was as physically attracted to her as ever. Sure she had put on a few pounds, but so had I. She kept herself put together pretty well. I put her in the MILF category for most of our years, and now she was moving into the hot mature phase, maybe soon to become a Granny I’d Like to Fuck. But she had lost interest over the past years.
It was a slow process, but an obvious one. Maybe it was me. Maybe I’m not doing it for her anymore. Her sex drive is still there. I know because I keep track of her vibrator that she keeps in her nightstand drawer. I note the position and check it from time to time. It may sound like I’m stalking my own wife, but I can’t help but be curious. I find that it gets moved at least a couple times a week, sometimes more. If she’s still masturbating, that means she’s horny. She’d just rather have a rubber dick than mine.
Of course, I was masturbating, too. Only instead of a few times a week, it was more like a few times a day. I kept it well hidden, so she didn’t know what a sicko I am, although I’m sure she suspects I’m beating off since I haven’t been bothering her for sex lately. At this point, even if she wanted it, I don’t think I’d give her the satisfaction. If she’s not going to make me happy in the bedroom, why should she get any? It is a c***dish way to deal with it all, but that’s where I’m at.
I head into the clinic five minutes early. I fill out the paperwork, sit on a plastic chair, and hope I’m not contracting anything from this surprisingly seedy clinic. It feels like the kind of place that would take care of addicts and pregnant runaways, not corporate screening tests. It’s ten minutes before a swishy male nurse shows me to a small room. It seems sterile enough, with an examination table, and a folding screen hiding one back corner. The glare of the overhead fluorescent lights probably isn’t that flattering for nervous patients who have to expose various parts of their anatomy to a stranger. No need for me to worry about that. All I’ll need to do is step behind the screen, take a leak into a cup, and I‘m on my way.
There’s a knock, and the door opens. It’s a girl...I should say a woman, but she’s young enough for me to think of her as a girl. She is slim, with a cute face. Her hair is done up kind of funky, and she has some sort of piercing or silver stud in her cheek that I don’t know how it stays there. I can see the hint of a tattoo peeking out from the edge of her sleeve and can’t help wondering where else she has tattoos. She has a respectable rack on her, so maybe those nipples of hers are pierced, also.
This all flashes through my mind in a second or two, and I try to force those thoughts away before the pulsing sensation in my dick turns into a full-blown erection.
“I’m Mandy, and I’ll be administering your test today.” Her adorable voice puts her back into the girl category for me. Someone I had no hope of a chance with, but also someone I shouldn’t even be thinking about in those terms. “Ready to give a full sample?” She holds up a cup.
“Sure, after two glasses of water and a cup of coffee this morning, I should be able to handle it.”
“Good! I just need you to step back here behind the screen.” She goes back behind it herself to show me how it’s done. I think I could have figured out how to go behind a screen all on my own at this point in my life, but I don’t make a fuss.
When I get back there and find another one of those plastic chairs and small table thing on wheels. It’s a bit crowded, and we have to stand close...dangerously close. She smiles and hands me the cup. “All you have to do is wipe the tip of your penis with this,” she gives me a packet with an alcohol swab in it. “Then urinate into the cup, filling it to this line here. Screw the top on, put it in this bag, and zip it. And you’re all set.”
“Okay, I think I got it.” I unscrew the lid and set it aside, then pick up the alcohol swab. Mandy is still standing there, smiling. “Uh...nurse, is there anything else?”
“Oh, I’m not a nurse...not yet. I’m just a technician. But I’m in school for nursing. One more year to go.”
“Right, sorry, but...I think I can take it from here.”
“Oh, no. Sorry, I forgot to mention, your company requires a monitored sample collection. You see, a lot of people use tricks to cheat the test, so I need to monitor you giving the sample in order to verify that there’s no funny stuff going on.”
“Really? So, you have to watch me pee?”
“I can get a male technician if you’d prefer.”
I thought about it, not expecting anything like this. “No, that’s fine, I guess I’d rather have a gi..female here than a guy.”
She shrugs. “It’s really no big deal. I see this a hundred times a day, so don’t even think about it. Just pretend like I’m not even here.”
I nod and worry that she will detect that I almost got a hard-on just a minute ago.
“Go ahead and take down your pants, and be careful where you aim,” she says in a sprightly tone.
After another moment of silly hesitation, I do as she instructs, pulling down my trousers, then my boxers.
“Oh!” she peeps. “Sorry, don’t pay any attention to me.”
“What? Is something wrong?” I look at myself to make sure there is nothing overly awful going on down there.
“No, just the opposite. You know how I said I do this a lot, but...I’m sorry, but I just have to say you have a great penis.”
I freeze. I have no idea how to react. Did I just hear that right, or am I lost in some kind of fantasy? Whatever it is, my dick is pulsing again. It would be hard before I could stop it.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, but it’s true. I see a lot of cocks...oops, penises, and yours is...well, it’s just great, that’s all.”
I suddenly get it. “Ahh, so that’s how you get through a day of this? Messing with people?” I’m not upset and say this with a light tone of understanding. I could play along with a joke as much as anyone.
She blushes and turns her face away. “Oh, right, I’m just messing with you. It’s a silly game I like to play.” She covers her mouth with her hand as if to keep herself from saying anything more.
I try to put that out of my mind before I get myself into trouble, and attempt to focus. My dick is close halfway hard, which is embarrassing enough, but now I have to concentrate on pissing. A full minute passes silently and nothing. “Sorry,” I mumble.
“Oops, wait, we forgot to wipe.” She grabs the little packet, rips it open, and takes out the alcohol swab. Instead of handing it to me, she leans down and dabs the end of my cock with it. It feels cold, and there’s a slight sting in my piss hole. As if that isn’t bad enough, she then leans a little closer and blows on my cockhead. Her lips are only inches away. My dick lengthens as if trying to close that gap.
“I’m really messing this up, aren’t I?” I say apologetically.
“No, it’s okay,” she insists. “I know it’s a weird situation. Plus, it’s almost impossible to pee with an erection.”
“Sorry,” I offer again, feeling like a dirty old man.
“Not at all. The longer it takes the longer I get to look at it. Your cock was great before, but now that’s it’s hard, I like it even better. Take as long as you want.”
The fact that I can now see her nipples poking up from beneath her loose scrubs isn’t making things any easier. To make matters worse, I was at full strength. This has to be close to some kind of crime on my part.
“Would you like me to help?” Mandy asks, sounding all innocent while trying to remain somewhat professional.
“Help? How?”
“Well, you can’t pee with an erection, so maybe I could give you hand-release and it will go down.”
“Huh?” I look at her dumbly, again afraid that I didn’t hear her right.
She shakes her head and tsks at me for being so dense, so she explains it more directly. “I could jerk you off and make you come so that your penis will get soft and you can pee.”
“Oh!” I was almost past being shocked, but not quite. “Oh, I don’t...that wouldn’t be...it’ll go away on its own in a minute...thanks, but...no..it’s nice of you to offer, but, ah, no thanks…”
I can’t remember the last time my wife gave me a handjob, and here is this little chippy offering one up like it’s nothing more than a handshake. As tempted as I am, I’m a married man. Yes, an unhappily married man, but that didn’t justify being unfaithful. She was just joking anyway. There’s no way she’d really do something like that. Mandy, sweet Mandy, was just messing with me to make her day go by.
She gives me another one of her cute little shrugs and gazes down at my erection again with an enigmatic smile. She doesn’t have to look, but she is. Maybe she does like it. I have to distract her before I cross some kind of line.
“So, one of the reasons I’m nervous,” I tell her, talking too fast, “is that I was at a party over the weekend, and I ended up accidentally eating a couple of pot gummies. I didn’t know what they were, but I only had two or three. Could that show up on the test?”
“I can always tell when someone’s been a bad boy,” she says with a tease in her voice that is sexy as fuck. “But, yes, it most likely will. A small trace only, but it would count as a positive.”
“So, then, there’s pretty much no reason to bother going through with this.” I’m strangely disappointed that this strange encounter is going to come to an abrupt end.
Mandy looks at me standing there with my pants down around my ankles and my hard-on in my hand, and seems to be working through something in her mind.
“How about this?” She pulls down her scrubs, revealing that she’s not wearing any panties underneath. There’s a small strip of pubic hair that draws the eye down to her tight little slit. I want to let out a cheer of happiness, but I manage to hold back. “Give me the cup.”
I hand it to her, my mind in a daze. She puts a foot up on the flimsy chair, spreads her pussy lips, and holds the cup down there. Is she going to do what I think she is? A few seconds later my suspicions are confirmed.
It starts as a trickle, then just like that there’s a stream of urine gushing out of her and into the cup. The way she’s doing it, I can see everything. It’s amazing. She cuts off the flow and waits while several drops of piss drip into the cup.
“Did you like that?” she asks, still sounding all innocent, but I now know for sure she is anything but.
“I...I’ve never seen a girl...a woman pee before.” My wife would never in a million years do something like that in front of me. Even after all these years of marriage, she still locks the bathroom door when she does anything in there. I never thought much about it, but I now realize that I would love to watch her piss.
“But did you like it?” She is still holding her pussy open, only now I can see the tip of her clit showing from under its hood. Mandy is as turned on by this as I am.
“I did,” I acknowledge honestly. “It was...beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she says and blows me a kiss. She sets the cup on the little table, and motions for me to put the lid on. I do as she indicates. When I’m done, I notice she hasn’t moved to pull her bottoms up. I bend over to pull my own pants up.
“Whoa. whoa, whoa,” she interrupts. “Not so fast, mister. I just provided you with a clean sample so you can get whatever shitty job you’re trying to get. I did you a favor, now what about me?”
“Wh...what about you?” Money? Was she looking for money?
“You got me all horny,” she rubs her pussy to emphasize her point. “I can’t go back to work like this.”
“Okay...so then…”
“So then, I want you to lick it.” She pushes her hips forward lewdly to make sure I understand.
“Seriously?” I say, barely considering my marriage vows this time around.
“If you want my piss, you’re going to have to give me something in return. I seriously want your face in my pussy. I want your tongue in my tight little fuck hole. And I want you to suck off my clit.” There is nothing professional in the way she says that.
I step to her and drop to my knees. If my wife was taking care of me in the bedroom, I wouldn’t have even considered doing this. But, as things stand, I almost have no choice. I am essentially doing this for her when you think about it. I needed this job, and if the only way is for me to trade eating a hot young girl’s pussy in exchange for her piss, then that’s what I have to do...for my wife.
As I go in, she grabs my head with one hand and pulls it in the rest of the way. My mouth lands right on target, and my tongue is all over her in an instant. I’m trying to remember every trick and technique I’ve ever learned about eating pussy. I haven’t done it in ages, but it all comes back to me in a rush of delirious joy. This is turning out to be one of the best days of my life.
“Can you taste it? Can you taste my piss? You like that?”
“I can,” I gasp, unwilling to take my face out of her pussy long enough to respond. “I can taste your piss and everything else--” is all I manage to get out before she shoves my face back into her wet crease.
“Then eat it, eat my cunt, and lick my piss.”
I can’t help but wonder if sweet Mandy is some kind of dominatrix in her spare time. If not, she should be. I try to pay attention and stay in the moment. This is a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I want to be able to jack off to memories of it for as long as possible. Her flavor is tangy, partly from the fresh pee clinging to the area, but also because of the wetness produced by her claim of getting horny. I suspect she hadn’t showered yet today, which made it even pungent. The rankness of her pussy was appealing in a way I never knew was possible. The dirtier this girl was the more I liked it.
I was happy to discover that nothing down there was pierced, but there is a tattoo of a sexy scorpion high up on her inner thigh. I imagine her pussy on full display when the artist gave her that one. Knowing her as I do now, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn she was masturbating as she was getting inked. So insanely hot.
“Oh, yes,” she pants, holding my head firmly to her crotch. “You know what you’re doing, don’t you? Young guys don’t know how to eat pussy. It takes a man with more experience to do it right. Yes, suck my clit...suck it...make me come…”
I could barely hear her with my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I could feel her juices dripping down my chin. I had never made my wife this wet in my life. Mandy, in a matter of minutes, has been able to make me feel like a man again...like I had something women wanted...something desirable. My tongue starts to hurt, aching from the lack of use over the years, but I’m not going to let that slow me down. I need to lick and suck every inch of her. I need to taste everything she has to offer. I need to make her come.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me come,” she moans as if reading my mind. Eat it...eat me...make me come...make my pussy come...I want to come on your face...in your mouth…”
I redouble my efforts, ignoring the hitch in my neck from the angle my head is at. Any torture is worth it. I’m so happy that I want to cry. She begins humping my face, not caring if I can breathe or not - she’s only concerned about getting off on my face. And that’s all I want, too.
“Oh, shit...oh, shit...I’m coming...suck it...suck it...I’m fucking coming!” She’s loud enough that anyone in adjoining rooms would be able to hear her. I am too far gone to care. All that matters to me is giving this girl an orgasm. It is the only purpose of my existence at that moment. “Get ready, here it comes..”
She pulls back a bit, and I see her whole pussy clench...then a blast of fluid gushes out...not piss...or maybe piss with something mixed with it...either way, it sprays into my open mouth, I choke, and swallow, and some of it spills down my chin. Another spasm and more comes out. I’m ready this time and catch most of it. I drink it down gratefully, not even caring what it is, just happy for the privilege of swallowing whatever this slut is willing to feed me from her pussy.
“Oh, yeah,” she sighs, “you like that, you filthy pervert...drink it up.” She pulls her lips open and squeezes out one more squirt. It hits my face, but I’m able to get most of it into my mouth as her ejaculate runs down over my lips. I feel high just from the idea of eating her girl cum. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Staying faithful is the last thing on my mind.
“I love it,” I blurt out, grabbing onto her bare thighs. “I want it all…”
She pats me on the head like I’m a greedy little toddler. “Stand up.”
I’m reluctant to leave her pussy, but I do as I am told. Much to my joy, she goes down onto her knees in front of me. “Yes, this is what Mama wants.” It seems to be a strange way for her to refer to herself, but I don’t worry about it.
She holds my cock, bending it one way, then the other, inspecting it like a hungry b**st rather than the medical specialist that she is. With a quick motion, she engulfs my cock. I’m not that big in the penis department, but I’m still surprised at how completely she takes me in. I can feel myself slipping down her throat. If nothing else, she’s a professional when it comes to going down on a dick. She doesn’t gag or show any sign of distress as she starts bobbing back and forth, encouraging me with her hands on my ass to fuck her face as hard as I can.
On the rare occasions my wife gave me a blowjob, long ago, it was more hand than it was mouth. I don’t think she ever took more than the first couple of inches, if that. Her idea of a blowjob was more about licking than sucking. And I always got the impression that she hated lowering herself to such vulgar depths to do even that. This girl acts like she lives to suck cock. She makes me feel like I’m doing her a favor by letting her suck my dick. This is the kind of woman I wish I had married. Although, I wasn’t sure women like this even existed back in those days. None of that was important. What mattered was that I am having this time with her now, and I could get through a hundred more years of a lousy marriage with my memories of this. I was never more alive.
I hold onto her head, more to keep me from tumbling over than to force her head onto my cock. She appears to like what I’m doing, so I actually do force her. She lets out an approving, muffled squeak each time I slam into her throat. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard. She then grabs my ballsack and pulls.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt. The way she’s doing it feels amazing, and it puts me over the edge.
“I’m going to come,” I announce. Instead of pulling back, as I expect, she picks up her pace and tugs my balls down even more. That does it. I let go and I feel a surge like I never felt before. My cock tenses, along with my whole body, and I’m pumping my load of cum directly down this sweet girl’s throat. She gulps it up without a second thought, then pulls my cock out of her mouth and milks the last few spurts out onto her tongue.
Even in my spinning delirium, I see her swish my jizz around in her mouth, eyes closed in ecstasy, and she swallows it all down. She opens her eyes and looks at me. I’ve never seen a woman look at me so grateful and appreciative before. I became the ultimate provider in that moment. I am the one who gave her everything she wanted, and she adores me for it. I know it sounds beyond egotistical, but that is the power this girl has. The power to connect a man to his primal essence, and remind him of what it meant to share that essence with his woman. Ridiculous, I know, but still…
Mandy stands and kisses me. The taste of my jism is heavy on her tongue. Before this, it would have repulsed me, but now - whatever she wanted it was my pleasure to indulge her. I would do anything for her, endure any humiliation, lower myself to any degradation, and give in to any perversion she demanded of me. As much power as I had to please her, I was little more than her plaything. It was confusing and exciting beyond measure all at once.
About halfway through our very French kiss, I begin to worry that someone could be wondering why giving a pee sample was taking so long. But getting caught at this point is the least of my concerns. After another blissful minute, we part.
“Now, I must warn you,” she picked up “my” specimen and sloshed it around. “Sometimes these things get lost, or spilled, or stolen…” That seems unlikely. “If that happens, you’ll have to come back and provide another sample. Do you understand?” She massages my balls while I try to get my brain working again.
“Uh...yeah, I think so.”
“If another visit is required, someone will be in contact with you. You can specify if you want me to collect your sample, or if you would rather have Roger do it.”
“You, definitely you.” I’ve been reduced to a blathering idiot.
She pats me on the shoulder, and shakes her head, clearly enjoying the effect she’s having on me. “Okay, then, how about you pull those pants up, and tuck that magnificent cock of yours away until next time. You’ll be hearing from us very soon.” She brushes off her knees, pulls her scrubs up, fixes her hair, then goes up on her toes and gives me a quick kiss on the lips, before leaving me there alone in stunned silence.
As I’m putting myself back together, I decide that I’m going to go straight home and fuck my wife. I don’t care if she wants it or not, she’s getting it. I’m going to give her my magnificent cock, and she’s going to thank me for it. Maybe I’ll even piss on her and see how she likes that. I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. No more holding back. Mandy has reminded me how incredible life can be, and that we shouldn’t let anything get in the way of our happiness.
I woke up and came into this appointment feeling like my life was a pile of steaming shit. But now, the world was full of wonderful opportunities just waiting to be seized upon. My whole perspective is renewed. My perspective on life, on marriage, and on what was possible is forever altered.
Who would have thought something as simple as a pointless d**g screening would bring about such a profound change? As I start up my car, I can’t wait to get home and do for my wife what Mandy did for me.
I’ll just need to find somewhere to stop and take a piss before I do...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
by DirtyMindedMom
I pull into the parking lot of the clinic. I’m fifteen minutes early. I decide to sit in my car and wait. I shouldn’t even have to waste my time doing this. A piss test? For what? d**gs, they say. I’m a man about to turn 56 years old. I’m not messing around with d**gs at my age. Unless you count Lipitor or coumadin, and pretty soon Viagra. Maybe it’s just a ruse to get a health diagnostic so they could reject me without being liable for ageism.
I should be planning my retirement these days, not starting a new job where everyone on staff is probably half my age, with half the brains. I had to pay the bills, so there was no way around it. My wife didn’t have any marketable skills after more than 30 years as a housewife, so it was up to me. If I wanted to keep my sexless marriage afloat, I had to get out there and earn a living.
It isn’t entirely her fault that the sex has dried up. I had my part in it. It isn’t like I’d lost my sex drive. I could still get it up, and I was as physically attracted to her as ever. Sure she had put on a few pounds, but so had I. She kept herself put together pretty well. I put her in the MILF category for most of our years, and now she was moving into the hot mature phase, maybe soon to become a Granny I’d Like to Fuck. But she had lost interest over the past years.
It was a slow process, but an obvious one. Maybe it was me. Maybe I’m not doing it for her anymore. Her sex drive is still there. I know because I keep track of her vibrator that she keeps in her nightstand drawer. I note the position and check it from time to time. It may sound like I’m stalking my own wife, but I can’t help but be curious. I find that it gets moved at least a couple times a week, sometimes more. If she’s still masturbating, that means she’s horny. She’d just rather have a rubber dick than mine.
Of course, I was masturbating, too. Only instead of a few times a week, it was more like a few times a day. I kept it well hidden, so she didn’t know what a sicko I am, although I’m sure she suspects I’m beating off since I haven’t been bothering her for sex lately. At this point, even if she wanted it, I don’t think I’d give her the satisfaction. If she’s not going to make me happy in the bedroom, why should she get any? It is a c***dish way to deal with it all, but that’s where I’m at.
I head into the clinic five minutes early. I fill out the paperwork, sit on a plastic chair, and hope I’m not contracting anything from this surprisingly seedy clinic. It feels like the kind of place that would take care of addicts and pregnant runaways, not corporate screening tests. It’s ten minutes before a swishy male nurse shows me to a small room. It seems sterile enough, with an examination table, and a folding screen hiding one back corner. The glare of the overhead fluorescent lights probably isn’t that flattering for nervous patients who have to expose various parts of their anatomy to a stranger. No need for me to worry about that. All I’ll need to do is step behind the screen, take a leak into a cup, and I‘m on my way.
There’s a knock, and the door opens. It’s a girl...I should say a woman, but she’s young enough for me to think of her as a girl. She is slim, with a cute face. Her hair is done up kind of funky, and she has some sort of piercing or silver stud in her cheek that I don’t know how it stays there. I can see the hint of a tattoo peeking out from the edge of her sleeve and can’t help wondering where else she has tattoos. She has a respectable rack on her, so maybe those nipples of hers are pierced, also.
This all flashes through my mind in a second or two, and I try to force those thoughts away before the pulsing sensation in my dick turns into a full-blown erection.
“I’m Mandy, and I’ll be administering your test today.” Her adorable voice puts her back into the girl category for me. Someone I had no hope of a chance with, but also someone I shouldn’t even be thinking about in those terms. “Ready to give a full sample?” She holds up a cup.
“Sure, after two glasses of water and a cup of coffee this morning, I should be able to handle it.”
“Good! I just need you to step back here behind the screen.” She goes back behind it herself to show me how it’s done. I think I could have figured out how to go behind a screen all on my own at this point in my life, but I don’t make a fuss.
When I get back there and find another one of those plastic chairs and small table thing on wheels. It’s a bit crowded, and we have to stand close...dangerously close. She smiles and hands me the cup. “All you have to do is wipe the tip of your penis with this,” she gives me a packet with an alcohol swab in it. “Then urinate into the cup, filling it to this line here. Screw the top on, put it in this bag, and zip it. And you’re all set.”
“Okay, I think I got it.” I unscrew the lid and set it aside, then pick up the alcohol swab. Mandy is still standing there, smiling. “Uh...nurse, is there anything else?”
“Oh, I’m not a nurse...not yet. I’m just a technician. But I’m in school for nursing. One more year to go.”
“Right, sorry, but...I think I can take it from here.”
“Oh, no. Sorry, I forgot to mention, your company requires a monitored sample collection. You see, a lot of people use tricks to cheat the test, so I need to monitor you giving the sample in order to verify that there’s no funny stuff going on.”
“Really? So, you have to watch me pee?”
“I can get a male technician if you’d prefer.”
I thought about it, not expecting anything like this. “No, that’s fine, I guess I’d rather have a gi..female here than a guy.”
She shrugs. “It’s really no big deal. I see this a hundred times a day, so don’t even think about it. Just pretend like I’m not even here.”
I nod and worry that she will detect that I almost got a hard-on just a minute ago.
“Go ahead and take down your pants, and be careful where you aim,” she says in a sprightly tone.
After another moment of silly hesitation, I do as she instructs, pulling down my trousers, then my boxers.
“Oh!” she peeps. “Sorry, don’t pay any attention to me.”
“What? Is something wrong?” I look at myself to make sure there is nothing overly awful going on down there.
“No, just the opposite. You know how I said I do this a lot, but...I’m sorry, but I just have to say you have a great penis.”
I freeze. I have no idea how to react. Did I just hear that right, or am I lost in some kind of fantasy? Whatever it is, my dick is pulsing again. It would be hard before I could stop it.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, but it’s true. I see a lot of cocks...oops, penises, and yours is...well, it’s just great, that’s all.”
I suddenly get it. “Ahh, so that’s how you get through a day of this? Messing with people?” I’m not upset and say this with a light tone of understanding. I could play along with a joke as much as anyone.
She blushes and turns her face away. “Oh, right, I’m just messing with you. It’s a silly game I like to play.” She covers her mouth with her hand as if to keep herself from saying anything more.
I try to put that out of my mind before I get myself into trouble, and attempt to focus. My dick is close halfway hard, which is embarrassing enough, but now I have to concentrate on pissing. A full minute passes silently and nothing. “Sorry,” I mumble.
“Oops, wait, we forgot to wipe.” She grabs the little packet, rips it open, and takes out the alcohol swab. Instead of handing it to me, she leans down and dabs the end of my cock with it. It feels cold, and there’s a slight sting in my piss hole. As if that isn’t bad enough, she then leans a little closer and blows on my cockhead. Her lips are only inches away. My dick lengthens as if trying to close that gap.
“I’m really messing this up, aren’t I?” I say apologetically.
“No, it’s okay,” she insists. “I know it’s a weird situation. Plus, it’s almost impossible to pee with an erection.”
“Sorry,” I offer again, feeling like a dirty old man.
“Not at all. The longer it takes the longer I get to look at it. Your cock was great before, but now that’s it’s hard, I like it even better. Take as long as you want.”
The fact that I can now see her nipples poking up from beneath her loose scrubs isn’t making things any easier. To make matters worse, I was at full strength. This has to be close to some kind of crime on my part.
“Would you like me to help?” Mandy asks, sounding all innocent while trying to remain somewhat professional.
“Help? How?”
“Well, you can’t pee with an erection, so maybe I could give you hand-release and it will go down.”
“Huh?” I look at her dumbly, again afraid that I didn’t hear her right.
She shakes her head and tsks at me for being so dense, so she explains it more directly. “I could jerk you off and make you come so that your penis will get soft and you can pee.”
“Oh!” I was almost past being shocked, but not quite. “Oh, I don’t...that wouldn’t be...it’ll go away on its own in a minute...thanks, but...no..it’s nice of you to offer, but, ah, no thanks…”
I can’t remember the last time my wife gave me a handjob, and here is this little chippy offering one up like it’s nothing more than a handshake. As tempted as I am, I’m a married man. Yes, an unhappily married man, but that didn’t justify being unfaithful. She was just joking anyway. There’s no way she’d really do something like that. Mandy, sweet Mandy, was just messing with me to make her day go by.
She gives me another one of her cute little shrugs and gazes down at my erection again with an enigmatic smile. She doesn’t have to look, but she is. Maybe she does like it. I have to distract her before I cross some kind of line.
“So, one of the reasons I’m nervous,” I tell her, talking too fast, “is that I was at a party over the weekend, and I ended up accidentally eating a couple of pot gummies. I didn’t know what they were, but I only had two or three. Could that show up on the test?”
“I can always tell when someone’s been a bad boy,” she says with a tease in her voice that is sexy as fuck. “But, yes, it most likely will. A small trace only, but it would count as a positive.”
“So, then, there’s pretty much no reason to bother going through with this.” I’m strangely disappointed that this strange encounter is going to come to an abrupt end.
Mandy looks at me standing there with my pants down around my ankles and my hard-on in my hand, and seems to be working through something in her mind.
“How about this?” She pulls down her scrubs, revealing that she’s not wearing any panties underneath. There’s a small strip of pubic hair that draws the eye down to her tight little slit. I want to let out a cheer of happiness, but I manage to hold back. “Give me the cup.”
I hand it to her, my mind in a daze. She puts a foot up on the flimsy chair, spreads her pussy lips, and holds the cup down there. Is she going to do what I think she is? A few seconds later my suspicions are confirmed.
It starts as a trickle, then just like that there’s a stream of urine gushing out of her and into the cup. The way she’s doing it, I can see everything. It’s amazing. She cuts off the flow and waits while several drops of piss drip into the cup.
“Did you like that?” she asks, still sounding all innocent, but I now know for sure she is anything but.
“I...I’ve never seen a girl...a woman pee before.” My wife would never in a million years do something like that in front of me. Even after all these years of marriage, she still locks the bathroom door when she does anything in there. I never thought much about it, but I now realize that I would love to watch her piss.
“But did you like it?” She is still holding her pussy open, only now I can see the tip of her clit showing from under its hood. Mandy is as turned on by this as I am.
“I did,” I acknowledge honestly. “It was...beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she says and blows me a kiss. She sets the cup on the little table, and motions for me to put the lid on. I do as she indicates. When I’m done, I notice she hasn’t moved to pull her bottoms up. I bend over to pull my own pants up.
“Whoa. whoa, whoa,” she interrupts. “Not so fast, mister. I just provided you with a clean sample so you can get whatever shitty job you’re trying to get. I did you a favor, now what about me?”
“Wh...what about you?” Money? Was she looking for money?
“You got me all horny,” she rubs her pussy to emphasize her point. “I can’t go back to work like this.”
“Okay...so then…”
“So then, I want you to lick it.” She pushes her hips forward lewdly to make sure I understand.
“Seriously?” I say, barely considering my marriage vows this time around.
“If you want my piss, you’re going to have to give me something in return. I seriously want your face in my pussy. I want your tongue in my tight little fuck hole. And I want you to suck off my clit.” There is nothing professional in the way she says that.
I step to her and drop to my knees. If my wife was taking care of me in the bedroom, I wouldn’t have even considered doing this. But, as things stand, I almost have no choice. I am essentially doing this for her when you think about it. I needed this job, and if the only way is for me to trade eating a hot young girl’s pussy in exchange for her piss, then that’s what I have to do...for my wife.
As I go in, she grabs my head with one hand and pulls it in the rest of the way. My mouth lands right on target, and my tongue is all over her in an instant. I’m trying to remember every trick and technique I’ve ever learned about eating pussy. I haven’t done it in ages, but it all comes back to me in a rush of delirious joy. This is turning out to be one of the best days of my life.
“Can you taste it? Can you taste my piss? You like that?”
“I can,” I gasp, unwilling to take my face out of her pussy long enough to respond. “I can taste your piss and everything else--” is all I manage to get out before she shoves my face back into her wet crease.
“Then eat it, eat my cunt, and lick my piss.”
I can’t help but wonder if sweet Mandy is some kind of dominatrix in her spare time. If not, she should be. I try to pay attention and stay in the moment. This is a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I want to be able to jack off to memories of it for as long as possible. Her flavor is tangy, partly from the fresh pee clinging to the area, but also because of the wetness produced by her claim of getting horny. I suspect she hadn’t showered yet today, which made it even pungent. The rankness of her pussy was appealing in a way I never knew was possible. The dirtier this girl was the more I liked it.
I was happy to discover that nothing down there was pierced, but there is a tattoo of a sexy scorpion high up on her inner thigh. I imagine her pussy on full display when the artist gave her that one. Knowing her as I do now, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn she was masturbating as she was getting inked. So insanely hot.
“Oh, yes,” she pants, holding my head firmly to her crotch. “You know what you’re doing, don’t you? Young guys don’t know how to eat pussy. It takes a man with more experience to do it right. Yes, suck my clit...suck it...make me come…”
I could barely hear her with my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I could feel her juices dripping down my chin. I had never made my wife this wet in my life. Mandy, in a matter of minutes, has been able to make me feel like a man again...like I had something women wanted...something desirable. My tongue starts to hurt, aching from the lack of use over the years, but I’m not going to let that slow me down. I need to lick and suck every inch of her. I need to taste everything she has to offer. I need to make her come.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me come,” she moans as if reading my mind. Eat it...eat me...make me come...make my pussy come...I want to come on your face...in your mouth…”
I redouble my efforts, ignoring the hitch in my neck from the angle my head is at. Any torture is worth it. I’m so happy that I want to cry. She begins humping my face, not caring if I can breathe or not - she’s only concerned about getting off on my face. And that’s all I want, too.
“Oh, shit...oh, shit...I’m coming...suck it...suck it...I’m fucking coming!” She’s loud enough that anyone in adjoining rooms would be able to hear her. I am too far gone to care. All that matters to me is giving this girl an orgasm. It is the only purpose of my existence at that moment. “Get ready, here it comes..”
She pulls back a bit, and I see her whole pussy clench...then a blast of fluid gushes out...not piss...or maybe piss with something mixed with it...either way, it sprays into my open mouth, I choke, and swallow, and some of it spills down my chin. Another spasm and more comes out. I’m ready this time and catch most of it. I drink it down gratefully, not even caring what it is, just happy for the privilege of swallowing whatever this slut is willing to feed me from her pussy.
“Oh, yeah,” she sighs, “you like that, you filthy pervert...drink it up.” She pulls her lips open and squeezes out one more squirt. It hits my face, but I’m able to get most of it into my mouth as her ejaculate runs down over my lips. I feel high just from the idea of eating her girl cum. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Staying faithful is the last thing on my mind.
“I love it,” I blurt out, grabbing onto her bare thighs. “I want it all…”
She pats me on the head like I’m a greedy little toddler. “Stand up.”
I’m reluctant to leave her pussy, but I do as I am told. Much to my joy, she goes down onto her knees in front of me. “Yes, this is what Mama wants.” It seems to be a strange way for her to refer to herself, but I don’t worry about it.
She holds my cock, bending it one way, then the other, inspecting it like a hungry b**st rather than the medical specialist that she is. With a quick motion, she engulfs my cock. I’m not that big in the penis department, but I’m still surprised at how completely she takes me in. I can feel myself slipping down her throat. If nothing else, she’s a professional when it comes to going down on a dick. She doesn’t gag or show any sign of distress as she starts bobbing back and forth, encouraging me with her hands on my ass to fuck her face as hard as I can.
On the rare occasions my wife gave me a blowjob, long ago, it was more hand than it was mouth. I don’t think she ever took more than the first couple of inches, if that. Her idea of a blowjob was more about licking than sucking. And I always got the impression that she hated lowering herself to such vulgar depths to do even that. This girl acts like she lives to suck cock. She makes me feel like I’m doing her a favor by letting her suck my dick. This is the kind of woman I wish I had married. Although, I wasn’t sure women like this even existed back in those days. None of that was important. What mattered was that I am having this time with her now, and I could get through a hundred more years of a lousy marriage with my memories of this. I was never more alive.
I hold onto her head, more to keep me from tumbling over than to force her head onto my cock. She appears to like what I’m doing, so I actually do force her. She lets out an approving, muffled squeak each time I slam into her throat. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard. She then grabs my ballsack and pulls.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt. The way she’s doing it feels amazing, and it puts me over the edge.
“I’m going to come,” I announce. Instead of pulling back, as I expect, she picks up her pace and tugs my balls down even more. That does it. I let go and I feel a surge like I never felt before. My cock tenses, along with my whole body, and I’m pumping my load of cum directly down this sweet girl’s throat. She gulps it up without a second thought, then pulls my cock out of her mouth and milks the last few spurts out onto her tongue.
Even in my spinning delirium, I see her swish my jizz around in her mouth, eyes closed in ecstasy, and she swallows it all down. She opens her eyes and looks at me. I’ve never seen a woman look at me so grateful and appreciative before. I became the ultimate provider in that moment. I am the one who gave her everything she wanted, and she adores me for it. I know it sounds beyond egotistical, but that is the power this girl has. The power to connect a man to his primal essence, and remind him of what it meant to share that essence with his woman. Ridiculous, I know, but still…
Mandy stands and kisses me. The taste of my jism is heavy on her tongue. Before this, it would have repulsed me, but now - whatever she wanted it was my pleasure to indulge her. I would do anything for her, endure any humiliation, lower myself to any degradation, and give in to any perversion she demanded of me. As much power as I had to please her, I was little more than her plaything. It was confusing and exciting beyond measure all at once.
About halfway through our very French kiss, I begin to worry that someone could be wondering why giving a pee sample was taking so long. But getting caught at this point is the least of my concerns. After another blissful minute, we part.
“Now, I must warn you,” she picked up “my” specimen and sloshed it around. “Sometimes these things get lost, or spilled, or stolen…” That seems unlikely. “If that happens, you’ll have to come back and provide another sample. Do you understand?” She massages my balls while I try to get my brain working again.
“Uh...yeah, I think so.”
“If another visit is required, someone will be in contact with you. You can specify if you want me to collect your sample, or if you would rather have Roger do it.”
“You, definitely you.” I’ve been reduced to a blathering idiot.
She pats me on the shoulder, and shakes her head, clearly enjoying the effect she’s having on me. “Okay, then, how about you pull those pants up, and tuck that magnificent cock of yours away until next time. You’ll be hearing from us very soon.” She brushes off her knees, pulls her scrubs up, fixes her hair, then goes up on her toes and gives me a quick kiss on the lips, before leaving me there alone in stunned silence.
As I’m putting myself back together, I decide that I’m going to go straight home and fuck my wife. I don’t care if she wants it or not, she’s getting it. I’m going to give her my magnificent cock, and she’s going to thank me for it. Maybe I’ll even piss on her and see how she likes that. I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. No more holding back. Mandy has reminded me how incredible life can be, and that we shouldn’t let anything get in the way of our happiness.
I woke up and came into this appointment feeling like my life was a pile of steaming shit. But now, the world was full of wonderful opportunities just waiting to be seized upon. My whole perspective is renewed. My perspective on life, on marriage, and on what was possible is forever altered.
Who would have thought something as simple as a pointless d**g screening would bring about such a profound change? As I start up my car, I can’t wait to get home and do for my wife what Mandy did for me.
I’ll just need to find somewhere to stop and take a piss before I do...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Virginia
- 03.05.2021
- 5
- 0
