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You know, life is about change. Just about every aspect of our lives will alter or morph give enough time or circumstance. And what's shocking is that, sometimes life changes so fast that you don't even realise when it happens.
Take me for example.
I used to be Ben Taylor, high school loser with no direction in life. But then somewhere along the way, I got myself a girlfriend, I got myself a gig writing for a magazine, and then almost without realising it, I got married and had a couple of kids. Then the magazine I worked at went under and now I find myself moving to some town in the boonies writing for a local paper. It honestly feels as if I blinked, and everything changed.
Married life wasn't bad per say. In fact it was pretty good all things considered, but I definitely felt like a whole other universe I had suddenly found myself in. I used to have a great balance of work and play, but these days it was mostly work, followed by a few hours of parental duties, followed by a few precious hours of sleep.
I love my kids, really I do. My daughter Rachel is smart and kind and every day I feel proud of her. My son Sam is still a toddler and that little smile of his is worth everything. They do genuinely improve my life, I feel fulfilled.
But also, they're fucking exhausting.
Perhaps it's because of my work schedule, plus having to constantly run after the kids all the time, but I barely get to spend any meaningful time with my wife anymore. Jessica and I have been together for 8 years now and I'm absolutely a lucky fucker for having landed with such a beautiful and loving woman. Her vibrant red hair, her kissable lips, her tall lithe figure which has only improved with the added curves of motherhood, she's gorgeous. But the thing is, having her around but not being able to really spend one on one time is fucking maddening. It's easily been months since we slept together
What I'm trying to say is, family is great. It's lovely, it's amazing. One of th best things ever. But it's also a fucking chore that leaves you tired and sexually frustrated
But enough of my existential posturing, I've got shit to do.
I could hear life in the kitchen, which meant my early morning thoughts were done and it was time to move my ass out of bed. I rose, showered, brushed my teeth and dressed mechanically before making my way downstairs to the kitchen. I was greeted by the sight of my wife having breakfast with the kids.
"Morning babe," she said, handing me a cup of coffee.
I took the cup with a bleary smile and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Morning," I sat down next to the kids, enjoying my coffee and glancing down at the paper that had been laid out. My new employers. I still wasn't entirely sure what this new gig was going to be like; the pay was good, but my job was essentially going to be buzzing around the town covering trivial local events. It was a pretty big step down from my job back at the city and honestly, kind of felt beneath me.
"Don't sweat it," Jess said, as if reading my thoughts. How the fuck does she do that? "It might not be glamorous, but the pay is comfortable and it's stable, plus," she stepped closer and kissed my cheek, "you'll be home every night."
All things I had told myself before as well.
"Not to mention," She continued, gesturing at our daughter who was busy devouring her pancakes, "the school here is great,"
I smiled faintly. Even if I was overqualified and bored out of my mind, I had to stick to it for the kids sake. The duty of a father after all. Damn it, Jess and her logic.
"You're right babe, as per usual," I finished my coffee and rose from my seat. "Well, I better be off, want to make a good first impression and all that. Wish Daddy luck, ok?"
I bent down and gave the kids a kiss, getting a giggle out of my daughter who hoped that I would "be king of the paper." That melted my heart a little. My son, not quite able to fully verbalise his thoughts yet, simply gave an approximation of "daddy". These two were what it was all about, doing what's best for them.
Walking to the front door with Jess, she rested her head on my shoulder when we got to the doorway. "Thank you," she whispered, before looking up and catching me in a kiss so fierce it caught me off guard. Jesus fuck, when had she done something like this before? We clung together like that for a while, making out like a couple of teenagers before finally she pushed me away.
"Ok, you've had your fill," she said, chastising me lightly, "get to work mister and to win that bread."
Really, fuck work. I wanted to take her and now, my dick was rock hard, my blood was up. But she was ultimately right. "We'll continue this tonight?" I asked hopefully."hon?"
She looked apologetic. "Sorry Babe, but we're having some of the neighbours over tonight, remember?"
Fucking hell.
"Oh...yeah...right."
With a Herculean effort I kept my disappointment masked and went to my car, trying to squeeze my frustration into a little ball. Well, surely the day couldn't get any worse, right?
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