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Auntie Junie By Cassandra Morgan When the shriek came, high-pitched and loud, it was easy to wonder if the windows would shatter. The very sound of it would knock birds from the sky It was an unearthly howl, a primordial scream, the sound of a Banshee unleashed. It was a thousand sirens blasting at once. You know the sound that the heroine makes when she finally sees the face of the monster. It was like that, only it was, well, joyous. Amanda Jordan was bouncing across the room now, still shrieking, her arms stretched wide to embrace her daughter Tess. It was a moment defined not only by time, but by the importance of the news. They made a great picture, mother and daughter. They had the same dimples the same brown hair, the same green eyes. Amanda was in her mid- 40s now, but she looked younger. But now, upon hearing she was going to be a grandmother, there was a wisdom to her. "My baby!" Amanda said. "My sweet, sweet baby!" "Mom," Tess said. "Women have babies every day. It isn't anything new that someone has a bun in the oven." "It is when it's my daughter," Amanda shrieked. "And when it's her oven. My God. How far along are you? When it is due?" Mark Jordan, in contrast to his wife, was mute. He sat on the couch, stunned, the memories of his daughter spilling over him. Tess learning to walk. Tess playing pee-wee soccer. Tess in her prom dress. Tess at graduation. Tess in her wedding gown. She had grown up so fast it was cruel. Mark wished that every day had lasted three days. Longer, maybe. And now she was going to be a mother herself. It was late February, and Tess had flown in from Seattle to tell them the news. She and her her husband David were expecting. She had wanted to tell her mother and father that in person. "I"m only a few weeks, Mom," Tess was saving. "David wanted to wait to tell everyone, but I couldn't keep a secret from you two." "Well, I certainly hope not," Amanda said. "Is David happy?" "He's over the moon, mom. He's buying miniature footballs and toy trucks. I mean, I know this sooner than we had planned, what with the bar exam coming up. But I think it's a blessing." "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Mark asked. "Daddy! Have you forgotten everything? They won't know gender for a while yet. But we don't care. Boy or girl. Just as long as it's healthy." "Of course," Amanda said. "That goes without saying. Have you two thought about names?" Tess laughed. "We started talking about names the second I peed on the stick," she said. "You can't help yourself. But we don't have a final decision yet." "Amanda is nice," Amanda said. "But only if it's a girl," Mark said, which earned him a glare from his wife. "Oh, Mom, the next few months are going to be hectic. I'm not sure I'm ready for this." "No one ever is ready, sweetie," Amanda said. "You know, you could come home. Take a break from school. Let me take care of you." "I can't, Mom," Tess said. "You know that. Why don't you come to Seattle? You could be with me while I carried the baby." "That's impossible," Amanda said, frowning. "Maybe when the baby is born." "Well, we'd love to have you anytime. You, too, Dad." "You're going to be the best mother," Amanda said. "The best. And I'm sure David will be a good father." "He'd better be," Mark said. "Or what? Are you gonna beat him up, Dad?" Tess giggled. "He's a pretty big guy." "I don't want to know about your sex life," Amanda said, laughing. "Mom!" Mark looked at his daughter and grinned. It was true what they said. If Tess was old enough to have a child, she was old enough to make sex jokes with her mom. It was a touching scene, Mark thought. Pregnant women do have a glow. Mark could remember when Amanda was carrying Tess. She had the same aura, the same contented smile. He guessed there was something to that "Circle of Life" talk after all. "Seriously, hon. However are you going to manage? David has his job, and you have school, and you have exams coming up. A baby is going to run you ragged." "I was hoping to get some help, Mom," Tess said, looking at her hopefully. "I wish I could, baby," Amanda said. "But I can't the time off. With your grandmother's heart condition, I can't leave." "I know, Mom," Tess said. "That's why I was thinking..." "What?" "I was thinking that maybe Dad could help." "What? How?" Mark said. "You could be our Nanny, Dad," Tess said. "It's 2021. The world is changing." "I...I can't be a Nanny," Mark stammered. "I've got a job, too." "Dad, you work on computers. You can do that anywhere." "Yeah, but I don't know anything about being someone's nanny." "Dad....I know," Tess said quietly. Mark flinched. Could she mean what he feared she meant? Had Amanda said something? "What do you know, Tess?" he said. "I know about your ... secret. I guess I've known all my life." "I don't know what you're talking about," Mark said. "Yes," Tess said. "Yes, you do. I was only a child when I found your clothes. Your other clothes, Dad. You know, the dresses and the skirts in the attic. I even saw you dressed up once. You were pretty." "Sweetie, we can explain," Amanda said. "Years ago, we used to play a game. A role-play. We never meant for anyone to find out." "There's no need to explain, Mom," Tess said. "It's okay. A lot of men dress up these days. I know that. Over the years, I've known a few of cross-dressers. There is a gentleness to them, a warmth that macho guys don't have. I get it. I really do. After a while, I was glad I had a father who was trans...well, who dressed up in women's clothing. It made him...interesting. More willing to relate to women." Mark looked at his daughter. He felt his embarrassment rise, his humiliation. He had thought he was so secretive, so slick, all those years, but Tess had known for a long time. He felt like running. He felt like hiding. He felt like lying. Instead, he stared at the floor. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "Why are you sorry?" Tess said. "I'm not. I think it's cool to have a father with a softer side. That's the person I want to help raise my child." "Tess, I just don't know if I could uproot everything and move. Certainly not if you're talking about what I think you're talking about." Tells shook her head. "I wouldn't ask this if I didn't need help. But I've thought a lot about it. If you move to Seattle for a few months, you can help me raise the baby. And for the first time in your life, you'd get to dress all of the time. It would be three or four months when your dreams come true." "Tess, couldn't your father help out ...and still dress as your father?" Amanda said. "Of course he could," Tess said. "But I think part of the attraction would be for him to live as a female. Think of it Dad: think of wearing panties. Think of needing a bra. Think of wearing lipstick. Think of doing it every damned day. Tell me you haven't fantasized about something like this." Tess paused, then she added: " Besides, if he dressed as a guy, wouldn't he look odd when it's time to feed the baby?" Mark was confused. "What do you mean?" Tess exhaled slowly. "Men can breast feed, Dad," she said. "I've read a lot about it. Breast milk is caused by a hormone called Prolactin. Women produce more of it than men, but there are drugs you can take to help that along. There is breast-pumping involved, too, and a certain diet, but it's possible. Dad, we could meet with the doctor and talk about it. I'd love for my baby to get milk from her family." Mark shook his head. "It sounds far fetched to me," he said. "Just talk to the doctor, okay?" Tess said. "Dad, I need you. I don't ask for a lot, but I'm asking for this. For me. For David. For the baby. And for you." "How long would you need him?" Amanda said. "Three months, maybe. My doctor says you breast-feed for six months, even longer, but it's possible to ween them off earlier. Three months. Maybe a little longer, depending on how things are going." "And he'd be dressed as a woman the whole time?" "Every day," Tess said. "Once his hair is right and he breast-feeding the baby, he'd have no other choice." "Well, it would give him a chance to get all of this out of his system," Amanda said. "Amanda, you cannot seriously be considering this." Mark said. "Mark, it's my grandchild, too," she said. "Do you want a stranger to be the wet nurse to your daughter's child? Do you want somebody else to hold her, to bathe her? This makes sense on a lot of levels." "Christ," Mark said. "This is ... too fast. It's asking too much." Inside, however, Mark's head was spinning at the images. Sure, he had fantasized about total emersion, about the deep end of the pool. Most cross-dressers do. The thought of being a woman for months on end tugged at him. Could he really do this? Amanda was right. When they were early in their marriage, Mark had told her that he had grown up liking the feel of women's clothing. And for a while, Amanda seemed willing to take part. It had been a naughty little game the two had played. But they were in their 40s now, and Amanda didn't seem as amused as she used to be. She tolerated Mark now, but she no longer took part. For Mark, dressing had turned into a hobby he did only when he was by himself. If he did this for Tess, it would mean he could go to the mall, to the park, to the coffee shop en femme. It was the kind of offer most casual transvestites never get. A golden ticket to a life he had dreamed about. He didn't know if he could pull it off, but Mark knew this: If he didn't try, he'd regret it forever. "Can...Can I sleep on it? he asked Tess. Tess beamed as if she had won the day. Amanda slowly nodded. And Mark stared out the window. Soon, all of their lives would change. * * * As they went to bed that night, Mark felt like he should say something...anything. He was feeling off-balance, out of control. He was having trouble reading Amanda's face. "How are we going to get out of this?" he finally asked. "Out of what, Mark?" Amanda said. "What do you wish to get out of?" "I mean, I love Tess. We both do. But how do we say no to my being her nanny? For God's sake, I'm not Mrs. Doubtfire." "Mark....I don't think we should say no. I don't think you really want to say no." "That's ridiculous," Mark said. "No," Amanda said "It isn't. Your only daughter is asking you for help. I think you should give it to her." "But living as a woman..." "Mark, how often have you dressed up in a quarter of a century? A hundred times? A thousand?" Mark winced. "A lot," he admitted. "What's your point?" "Well, if you string those days together, you've probably been a women's clothing for a year of your life. Maybe a year and a half. And Tess is just asking for a few months. What's the big whoop?" "I've never been seen in public. I've never been a woman full time." "You know two people in Seattle, Mark. Tess and David. So what if you're seen?" "That's not a small thing for a guy," Mark said. "But it's a huge step for a girl." Amanda said. "Can I tell you something, Mark?" "Of course." "Mark, you think I stopped playing with you because I didn't like it. The truth is that I liked it too much. I like you as a woman, but I was afraid it going to take over our lives. So I pulled those days away from you, and I feel guilty because of it. There is nothing wrong with cloth and fabric, Mark. But my own petty insecurities made me make it harder for you. I'm sorry for that." "Amanda, I ..." "Hush, baby," she said. "This is a way for you to make up for lost time. From the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep, you can be a girl. The first thing you would put on every day would be panties. You could wear a dress every day. I owe you all of that. Helping Tess just gives it a purpose." "Sweetie, I don't need this..." "Yes, Mark," she said. "You do. Put it this way. If you could dress as a woman, without leaving home, for 90 days would you?" "Yeah," Mark said. "I probably would." "Then the only thing that would change is that you could be helping out Tess. It's a win-win." Mark was quiet, letting Amanda's words pour over him. "Three months?" he finally said. "More or less," Amanda said. "Maybe four." "And you'll be okay with it?" "I'll be fine," Amanda said, smiling. "As long as you send me pictures." Mark laughed. "This has to be the craziest idea ever," he said. "Crazy is underrated," Amanda said. "Shit. I guess I should try." Mark said. Amanda smiled again, but this time, there was a trace of sadness to it. "We should start getting you ready," she finally said. "Do you have a nightie?" "A nightie? No, I don't have a nightie," he said. "Then borrow one of mine. Put it on. That and some panties, and let's go to bed." Mark felt his breathe grow shallow. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I'm sure," Amanda said. "You might as well get used to it. I guess I might as well, too." Mark felt awkward as he slid the ivory-colored negligee over his head. Amanda watched, then she ran her hands over his chest. She let her right hand drift lower, until it traced the outline of his hardening penis underneath the panties. "Do you like that, baby?" she whispered. When Mark tried to answer, he wasn't sure if the words came out. Amanda took control of Mark that night. She fondled his flat nipples. She let her fingertips invade his rear. She climbed atop of his face and ground her vagina into it. Without a word being said, she was the bold one, the aggressive one. "Lick me, bitch," she said. "Be my woman." And he was. * * As tired as he was, Mark didn't sleep much that night -- there too many things were on his mind -- but when arose, he could hear the sounds of his wife and his daughter coming from the kitchen. He signed deeply. He got out of bed and was headed to the bathroom when he saw it. There was a dress, black with white flowers, draped across the back of a chair. The skirt was full, the fabric was light. Mark recognized it from his private collection. He didn't think Amanda knew about it. There were panties and a bra and a pair of black flats on the chair. A pair of low heels -- black -- were on the floor. There was a note: "Good morning, sweetie. Please wear these." Oh my God. It was really happening. He had agreed to this the previous night, and now, it was staring him in the face. He was going to wear a dress in front of his daughter. Mark stumbled into the bathroom. He started to pee then, on a whim, he spun and sat on the toilet to finish. He turned on the shower, then flipped the toggle to turn it into a bath. He noticed the bottle of Nair on the counter but tried to ignore it. He took a bath. Then dried himself. He picked up the panties and dipped his face into them, feeling their silkiness. He slid them up his legs. God, he loved the feel of panties. He fastened the bra, then spun it around. Amanda had not left his breast forms out, so he stuffed the cups with Kleenex. He stepped into the dress. Mark ran his hands over his sides, over his bottom, over his bra. There was nothing that made him feel like this. A lot of cross-dressers will swear to you that it's not just about the clothes, but damn, to Mark that was a lot of it. There was an electricity to the lingerie, a feeling of comfort to the dress. Shoes. He loved shoes. He loved feeling earrings bounce against his cheeks. For most of his life, Mark had dressed like that, but the rush of energy had never lessened. He supposed it was that way for thousands -- millions? -- of trans women across the country. There was a ... completeness ... to it. There was a feeling this clothing fit his soul. Mark looked in the mirror. He needed a wig. He needed makeup. He needed to pierce his ears. Hell, what he needed was Devine intervention. He dabbed at his lips with a tube of pink lipstick. He wiped it off, then he tried the red. That was better. He didn't have hose, so he stepped into the shoes and descended the stairs, heading toward the voices of Amanda and Tess. He took a deep breath and fought the urge to retreat. Then he stepped into the room. Tess broke into a wide smile. "I think I have my answer," she said. Amanda nodded and wolf-whistled. The two women in his life applauded. Standing there in front of his wife and his daughter, Mark didn't feel sexy. He didn't feel naughty. He felt out of place. His dress felt too short. His breasts felt too big. Amanda had seen him dressed before, of course, but he felt like a teenage being caught for the very first time. "You look lovely, hon," Amanda said. "You look hot," Tess said. "You're going to be so happy." "Um...I hope this works," Mark said. "Dad, you're great for doing this. Wait. I can't call you Dad, can I?" "I, um. I call myself June when I'm dressed," Mark said. "June?" Tess said. "That's perfect. I can tell people you're my Aunt Junie. That way, everyone will know we're related, but no one will know you're my father." "Well, June. You certainly are a vision. Want some coffee?" Amanda asked. "Please," I said. "This is all a little embarrassing." "I couldn't find everything, June," Amanda said, ignoring her discomfort. "I had no idea where you keep your boobs." Tess laughed. "My Dad has runaway boobs!" she said. "If anyone sees an unidentified tit, they should call this number." Mark blushed. "I keep them and my wigs in a shelf in the closet of the spare bedroom," he said. "I need some hose, I guess." "Hose!" Amanda said. "I knew I forgot something. Is that why you didn't shave your legs?" "Why are we rushing into this?" Mark said. "It'll be months before the baby is here." "Time flies," Amanda said. "You'll be surprised how quick it goes. You need practice to be out in the open. You need to learn hoe to act, and how to react, as a woman." "Mom and I have appointments at the hair salon," Tess said. "You too.You'll love being pampered. All the girls do." "I'm not a girl," Mark protested. "Well, we can debate that," Amanda said. "I don't know any boys who look that good in a dress." "June's a stiffener," Tess said, giggling. "A what?" Mark said. "You know. You make boys' cocks stiffen," she said. "You ever date a boy, June? When you were single, I mean." "No," Mark said. "I'm not gay." "Who said you were gay?" Amanda said. "Sex is about stimulating nerve endings. I think all of us are bisexual to some degree. You know, I think Jeffrey was always kind of sweet on you. You're telling me that in all the years you two have hung around with each other, he never once got to the end zone?" "Stop it," Mark said. "Why? What's wrong with being attractive? I think Jeffrey is cute. You could do worse." "Amanda, this is hard enough," Mark said. "Is it ever hard enough?" Tess said. She her mother were laughing loudly now. "Please. You should know that 90 percent of guys who dress in girls' clothes are straight." "We aren't talking about 90 percent," Amanda said. "We're talking about June and that cute little bubble butt of hers." "I can see the guys now," Tess said. "'Look at the fanny on that nanny!'" Mark groaned. But he glanced down at his ass. It's odd. Some cross-dressers think about sex when they dress. Some want to dance. Some want to walk the runway. But what Mark enjoyed were the small moments, sitting around the table and talking (while dressed), watching television (while dressed), helping with dinner (while dressed). Sipping coffee, talking, laughing. It gave him a sense of normalcy. It felt right. Those were the moments that made cross-dressing attractive to him. The moments when he just felt feminine. Soon, every moment of his life was going to be like that. * * * It was Tuesday when June and Tess sat in the office of Dr. Molly Jernigan. To say that June was nervous was an understatement. June was wearing a purple top and a white skirt. He -- she -- had argued in vain that she didn't have to cross-dress to see a doctor, but considering the conversation was going to be about her breasts, Tess had convinced her otherwise. "You're going to be a woman for the whole world," Tess said. "So why not your doctor?" So June had worn the skirt, and all the accessories. She sat in the doctor's office and fidgeted until Dr. Jernigan walked in. "Hello, ladies," Dr. Jernigan said. "How are we today?" "Um...okay, I guess," June said. "And how long have you felt you were a woman, Miss Jordan?" "Oh, well...I," June stumbled with her words. "I guess most of my life. I stopped in college, but I got back into it after I was married." "That's normal," Dr. Jernigan said, smiling. "Just relax. You seem a little anxious." "My, uh, my aunt is kind of nervous," Tess said. "She acts like you've never seen a transgender woman before." "Well, Miss Jordan. I can assure you that I have. There is nothing wrong with being transgender. So are you here for breast augmentation?" "Actually, Dr. Jernigan," interrupted Tess. "We'd like her to have bigger boobs, sure, but the main thing is that we want them to nurse my baby." "Oh," Dr. Jernigan said, flipping through her charts, "Well, that's rarer, but it's not unheard of. Men can indeed lactate. Perhaps you read of the man in India who fed his two daughters after his wife died?" "No," June said. "True case," Dr. Jernigan said, feeling June's chest. "Now, there are hormones that can help induce milk production and promote growth at the same time. Food and fun in the same pair of puppies. What could be better?" "Um, how long will it take?" June asked. "Well, it depends on the person," Dr. Jernigan said. "Some trans women see growth in a few months. Some take a year or longer. The lactation itself won't take as long. You'll be a milk factory soon. When is the baby due?" "I"m guessing late November," Tess said. "Maybe Thanksgiving." "That's good," Dr. Jernigan said, turning to June. "You're going to be Thanksgiving dinner. How does that sound?" "Scary," June said. "Ah, don't be scared," Dr. Jernigan said. "We're talking about a miracle here. We're talking about God's most beautiful gift. A life, and a way to nourish it. Trust me, it's a wonderful feeling. If I were you, Tess, I'd breast-feed all of my children." "All?" June said. "Ah, hell, I won't have more than nine, Aunt June. Your boobs will be a banquet," Tess said, grinning. "Now, when the Premarin takes hold, you might want to do a little shaping," Dr. Jernigan said. "Make them fuller, rounder. Have you thought about how big you want them?" "Um, no," June said. "I never thought about before." "Well, you have a few months to decide. Are you thinking about getting a vagina? Have you talked to your husband about it?" June's mouth fell open. "No," she said. "I haven't. And I have a wife, not a husband." "I see. Well, think about it. Some women get both at the same time. We can make you a special price." June swallowed hard. "Right now, I think I'll just be happy if we can get me to lactate," she said. "Oh, we'll do that. When we're done, you can open your own dairy. And maybe then you can find a husband." * * Six pills a day, two injections a week, and the time flew by. Soon, it was Easter, then Mothers' Day, then the Fourth of July. And every day, Amanda steered June toward her new life. She was keeping June in dresses these days, just so she would be ready when the time came. One week, she had her carry a lifelike doll around for practice, changing it and burping it. Amanda started to bring friend around -- yes, even his buddy Jeffrey -- so June would get used to being seen as a woman. Slowly, the hormones started to kick in. Her hair was longer. June felt her bottom plump, and her nipples began to itch. If she turned sideway in the mirror, she could see small protrusions. It thrilled her even more than it frightened her. It was a sobering time for June. Amanda started bring people over -- friends and neighbors. Sure, there were the sneers and the comments, but a great many of their friends seemed to accept her. A few guys hit on her ... and a few hit on Amanda, who they suddenly saw as available, as well. One Sunday afternoon, Jeffrey had stopped by -- ostensibly to borrow the lawnmower. He never explained why didn't just use his own. "So are you adjusting to all of this?" Jeffrey asked quietly. "I mean, being a woman and all?" "It's strange," June said. "When I'm alone, it feels natural. But when you're over, or one of Amanda's friends, it feels odd Everyone is looking at me, and I know they're talking about me." "I can't imagine how it feels," Jeffrey said. "Have you lost friends over this?" "A few," June admitted. "They don't buy that I'm doing this to help by daughter. They think I just like the dresses." "And?" "Well, I kind of do," June laughed. "You should try it." "Mark...I mean, June," Jeffrey said. "I don't want to try it. But if I'm telling the truth, I used to know a trans woman." "Know?" "I knew her real well," Jeffrey said. "I mean, I knew her intimately." "Yeah? How'd you meet her?" "I met her at a bar," Jeffrey said. "The Spotted Banana. Do you know it?" "Never been there. Did you know she was trans?" "I knew," Jeffrey said. "I went to that bar to meet someone like her." "Was she nice?" "She was great," Jeffrey shrugged. "It didn't feel wrong, you know? It didn't feel gay." "Gay is just a concept, Jeffrey. We all have urges." "Yeah, we do. I never knew you were like this." "I never wanted you to know." "Can I ask a question then?" "Shoot." "When you look at me, do you think I'm cute." The two laughed, and suddenly, it felt normal. "I think you're a nutball, Jeffrey. But you're my friend. I appreciate that." Flirtations aside, Amanda and June were enjoying some of the best days of their marriage. Once, Mark's cross-dressing seemed to in the way of their relationship. Now, it was a united cause -- getting June ready to help Tess. Amanda seemed to enjoy shopping with June, teaching her about makeup, swapping opinions on colors and fabrics. "I think I like June better than Mark," Amanda said one day. "There's a lot of that going around," June said. Then it was Labor Day. Then Halloween. The family had agreed that June would leave three weeks before the due date. It was time for her to go.. "I'm going to miss you, June," Amanda told her. "More than I thought I would." "I'll be back soon," June said. "I love you." "Love you too," Amanda said. The thought of flying transgendered terrified June. She had pled with Amanda to let her pack her things, including her breast forms. But Amanda assured her that the TSA was used to transgender travelers. She made sure that June had the proper documentation from Dr. Jernigan, and her driver's license had her new name -- June Jordan. She was going to wear a dress, damn it, to arrive in Seattle. June walked across the airport. She wondered if the woman behind the ticket counter could tell. How about the guy who checked her luggage? The barista at Starbucks? The other passengers on the tram? Were her hands too big? Her feet? Would people hurt her if she was outed? As it turns out, getting though the gate was easy. She asked for and got a pat-down from a woman agent, who was professional enough and even complimented her on her red dress. The flight itself was endless. But no one messed with the woman in 36-C. Funny, she thought. That would be a nice bra size. Upon landing, a guy helped her with her overhead luggage, and she made her way through the line and found the arrows to baggage claim. She smiled when she saw the guy was checking out her legs. And then she heard Tess' voice. "There she is! Aunt Junie?! Over here." Tess stood there, round in her obvious pregnancy. She was grinning. David, who June hadn't seen since the wedding, was beside her, as large and hulking as ever. Hell, did the Seahawks need a tackle? David could play it. "David, you've me by Aunt Junie, haven't you?" Tess said. She was large now, round and happy. "She's here to help with the baby." David looked at June, obviously remembering her as Mark. "Of course I remember Aunt June," he said. "Although she wasn't wearing such a lovely dress the last time we met." There was a smirk on David's face, that superior sneer that some men get when they see someone from another lifestyle. June could imagine his comments if Tess hadn't been there. A woman learns to sense these things. But this was Tess' husband, so June held her tongue. "You'll love the nursery," Tess said. "Now that we know it's going to be a girl, it's all pink." "Like your room," David said. "I assume you brought your own pacifier." "Oh, stop it," Tess said, swatting his arm. "Did you guys ever decide on a name?" June said, changing the subject. "Abby. Abigail Marie. She's coming in a month. She's due on the 20th." "I can't wait to meet her," June said. "It's a shame you trannies can't have babies," David said, grinning. "Um, we don't use the word 'trannies,'" June said. "Still..." David said. "I bet you'd love it some guy laid you down and knocked you up." "Oh, you would make a great mom," Tess said, ignoring her husband. "But you'll have to settle for being a great aunt. Aunt Junie." "Yeah," David said. "A real female role model." The duo rode north, beyond Seattle. June was tired, and she was wary of David, but she was glad to see her daughter again. Although, to the outside world, Tess was her niece. They pulled into a small house on a shaded block. The house was a soft yellow, neat and distinctive. She settled in a small room next to the nursery. She sighed, missing Amanda. But she told herself again that it was only for a few weeks. June unpacked her bags. Naturally, they were filled with dresses and women's underwear. She hung her clothes. A soft rap came on her bedroom door. June opened it, expecting to see Tess. Instead, it was David. "Oh, David. I'm just unpacking," David glanced and saw the panties and bras on the bed, waiting to be packed. He shook his had. "I just wanted to welcome you," David said, his eyes darting around as if to look for Tess. "Oh, thank you. I'll try not to be in the way." "June," David said, exhaling slowly. "Tess really wants you here. I have to admit that I wasn't crazy about exploring my child to a pervert, you know? But a man can't win in an argument with the wife. So you can stay, but you need to hear this. I don't want you bringing home guys with a baby in the house. You're going to have to get your jollies elsewhere." "David, I've never been with a man," June said. "And I'm married." "Yeah, how did that happen?" David said. "How did you ever father a child. I mean, have you ever wondered if Tess is yours?" "Of course she's mine, David," June said, some bite in her voice. "Please don't make assumptions." "I'm just saying, June. I know about you folks and your urges. And it won't happen here. Is that clear for a queer?" "I hear you," June said. "It would be hard not to." "I'm glad you agree with me, sissy boy. Since you do, you won't have any problem wearing this, will you." David threw a small white box onto the bed. June opened it and saw the rings and the tube and the padlock. "What's this?" she said. "It's a cage," David said. "It's to make you you don't stick your dick into anything while you're here." "I don't want to wear that," June said. "I don't care what you want,' David said. "My house, my rules. I don't want my wife to walk in on you fucking some guy. I need some protection. So let's lock that thing up, what do you say?" "David, this is demeaning. I'm not going to sleep with anyone else." "Think of it like this. If you don't want to use you dick, it shouldn't matter. And if you want to, we'll, you're lying to me." "Does Tess know about this?" "What? Does Tess know that her tranny father wears a cage on his peeny? Do you want to tell her or do you want me to?" Three months, June thought. I can suffer David for three months. "It's your house," June finally said, her eyes staring at her feet. "Yeah. And it'll be my key, too. That way, I'll sleep a little easier." * * Abigail Marie Golden was born on Nov. 21. She weighed six pounds and eight ounces and, objectively speaking, she was the most beautiful baby ever born in Washington state. Maybe the whole of the Great Northwest. She was reddish in hue, and she had a shock of black hair -- darker than her mother's. She seemed so fragile, so innocent, and June loved her at first sight. She had a way of burying her face into your neck when you held her. Tess took a week to recover, then she resumed her studies online. The three of them established a routine. June was a godsend. She spent hours reading to Abby, spinning her mobile, having her stuffed animals talk to her. It was the closest thing to motherhood that June would ever know, those precious first few days. And the breast-feeding? Well, it wasn't as easy as opening one's shirt and having the baby latch on. Some women struggle to breast feed, and some babies don't quite like the fit of the nipple. But for June, it was a wonderfully pleasant feeling, looking down in adoration as her grandchild sustained her life from June's body. "Auntie June, you are so perfect with Abby," Tess said one day. "It's like she has two mommies. She's going to cry forever when you leave us." "Yes," June said. "That will be sad." "Aunt June? What do you think about staying longer. Through Christmas, maybe. Or longer." June looked down at Abby, who was cooing. "If you need me," she said. Oh, Tess needed her. There was no formal request, but on her own, June had started tidying up a bit. David was working, and Tess was in school. So June washed the dishes and made the beds. Soon, she was doing the laundry, too. Abby slept a lot of the day, and she had her playpen, so it wasn't that hard, and it made the house work smoother. June missed Amanda, but she was coming up for Christmas. June couldn't wait. * * * One day, in early December, a soft knock came at the door. "Aunt June?" Tess's voice was outside. She opened the door and David and Tess were standing there, grinning. Tess was holding a package. David was standing behind her. "We got you an early Christmas present, Auntie," Tess said, extending the gift toward June. "It was David's idea. Open it." June smiled, then very neatly opened the wrapping paper. Inside, there was a box, and inside, there was a light blue dress with a built-in apron. There was a white cap inside as well. June looked his head daughter questioningly. "We bought you a nanny's dress," Tess said. "You won't get stains on your clothes this way. Nursing women someones leak, you know?" "A ... nanny's dress?" June said. "I've never heard of a nanny's dress." "It's perfect," Tess said. "The apron is so sexy, and the petticoat. I love the white piping. Don't you love it?" "Um, sure. Thank you." "You'll look so good in it." "Yeah," David said. "You'll drive the mailman nuts." "I'm...I'm not interested in the mailman," June said. "Not even if it's a special delivery?" David said. "What if he handles you with care?" "David, I keep telling you. I'm married." David's eyes narrowed. "A lot of gay guys are married, Aunt June," he said. "Doesn't mean they don't like the pole." "David, stop teasing," Tess said. "My aunt is a good girl, she is." David cackled. "Yeah," he said. "With the right guy, she'd be real good." "Tess, this looks like maid's dress to me," June said. "You don't think I'm the maid, do you?" "Lord no," Tess said. "You're not a maid. You're the household engineer. You run things." "And you really want me to wear this?" "I think it's lovely," Tess said. "Especially the hat. I love that look. It's so feminine." "Yeah, it suits you," David said, that lopsided grin of his showing. "If you want, we can get you it in black, too. That way, you can keep your other dresses clean for dating and things like that." June sighed. What was one more indignity? * * The truth was that it drove David crazy to see Aunt Junie with his daughter. He loved Abby, but he hated seeing her nursing from that ... thing. He couldn't talk to Tess about it, because this was her father, for crying out loud. One day, at his office, David was glaring out the window when Russ Simpson, an older guy who had been with the company for years, walked in. "You okay, Davie?" Russ said. "You seem down." "Ah, I'm just pissed." "At me?" "No. At life. My wife hired a nanny for Abby, and I don't care much for her." "Well, that's easily fixed. Just fire her." "I can't. She's ... related to Tess." "Crud. That's tough. Is she a hard ass?" "Nah. She's actually kind of sweet, if you want to know the truth." "I don't see the problem then." "Russ...Russ, can I trust you? If I tell you something, it can't get out. To anyone." "Davie, you know you can trust me." David nodded and snorted. "Okay. My wife's aunt is a tranny." "A what?" "A transvestite. Her aunt is really her dad." "Her dad?So your nanny has a dick?" "Yeah. He's one of those." "Shit," Russ said. "That's hot." "Hot? Are you fucking nuts?" "I mean, you know, if you watch the Drag Race tv show. Some of those women are pretty sexy." "Russ, who watches the Drag Race show? Are you queer, Russ?" "I'm just saying that they're pretty. At Hamburger Mary's, they have the best waitresses." "Sheesh, Russ. You like those fags?" "I like some of them all right, I guess," Russ said. "It ain't gay if don't suck them off, you know?" David shook his head. "So you want to fuck my father-in-law, Russ?" Russ laughed. "Maybe. What's she look like?" "She looks like the queen of the Gay Pride parade. If she's blowing you, what the hell difference does it make what she looks like. You gonna take a picture of the top of her head?" "Well, maybe. Why don't you fix us up?" "Maybe in a couple of weeks. My mother-in-law is coming to town next week. I wonder if she'll bring her dildo?" "I'd love to see that," Russ said. "I bet you would," David said. "But you know, if you hit on her, I bet she'd leave her wife. My mother-in-law has to be tired of that fag." "Hell, I don't want to take her away from anyone. I just want to get my dick wet." David laughed. Russ held up his palm, anticipating a high five. David slapped skin. He had been wrong about the cage, he realized. If Tess caught June and Russ in their house, he thought, all of this would be over. She'd have to fire his ass then. * * Amanda arrived at the Sea-Tac Airport on Dec. 18, one week before Christmas and two days before she was scheduled to arrive. Her office had shut down for the Holidays, and Amanda wanted to surprise her family. She caught a cab from the airport, then walked up the driveway and knocked lightly on the door. Tess opened it, and her jaw flew open. She embraced her mother warmly. "We have to be quiet," Tess said. "Abby's asleep." "Is she here?" Amanda said. "June, I mean." "She's in the kitchen. Shhh. Come with me." The women slipped through the living room, down the hall, and stood in the doorway. There was June, humming to herself as she washed dishes. The baby was asleep in its bassinet next to her. Amanda was amazed. Her husband had blossomed into his femininity completely. He moved like a woman moves, and he sounded like a woman sounds. His hair was longer now, and his breasts seemed prominent. The little white cap on his head was the perfect accessory to underline his status. "Jesus," Amanda said. "She's...amazing." "She's Aunt Junie," Tess said, smiling. "I've lost her," Amanda said to herself. "God help me, I've lost her." "Pardon me?" Tess said. "Nothing," Amanda said "It doesn't matter." Amanda felt a tear form. She was prepared for her husband to be dressed like a woman. But the person she was seeing was a woman. "Does she miss me?" she asked quietly. "I'm sure she does. But she's happy, Mom. This has been good for her." "Why is she dressed like a maid?" "She isn't a maid, silly. It's a nanny's dress. To protect her clothes. She loves it." "I guess. you never really know what someone desires, huh?" Amanda said. "Has she, uh, met anyone?" "No, Mom. She isn't interested in someone else. She loves you." "I just can't believe how convincing she is. It's like she has been reborn." The two entered the kitchen, and June yelped so loud it woke up Abby. Amanda noticed that June picked up the baby first, then gave her a hug. "I'd kiss you, Junie, but I don't want to mess up your lipstick," she said, laughing. "I think we can risk it," June said, kissing her wife hard. Tess insisted on taking the baby that afternoon so her parents could be together. June and Amanda retired to June's bedroom, where Amanda wasted no time in unzipping June's dress. They were kissing passionately as Amanda put her thumbs on June's panties and tugged downward. Only to expose June's cock cage. "What in heaven's name is that?" Amanda said, stepping back. "Is your dick Robo-Cop now?" "It's, um, it's my cage. It keeps me restrained," June said. "So you're so tempted that you have to lock it up? Christ, June." "I don't have to. David wanted me to wear it?" "David? Tess's husband? Why should he care if you put you dick in jail? Have you two done anything?" "God no, Amanda. He doesn't like me very much, and he doesn't want me free around his daughter." "So is this part of your sexual preferences now? Do you like being in a cage? What's next? One of those ass plugs? A collar and a leash? A penis gag? What?" "I don't like the cage, Amanda. I don't have any of those other things." "But you still like the dresses?" "You know I like the dresses?" "Even that fucking maid's uniform?" "I'm not a maid, Amanda." "Crap. I need a drink. On second thought, maid, you go and get me a whiskey sour. And bring it on a tray, girlie." June scampered off. Amanda shook her head. She had come to Seattle to see a new life, but she was thinking about her grand daughter. Not her spouse. * * * David and Tess had an informal gathering two nights before Christmas. Just a few friends from law school and David's work. Nothing fancy. June had wanted to wear her green sheath dress -- she thought it was Christmassy. But she was going to have to mind Abby that night, so Amana insisted she wore her nanny uniform. That way, everyone would know she was at work. "Don't forget to curtsy," Amanda told her. "Everyone expects the maid to curtsy." June started to say something. Instead, she walked away silently. As luck would have it, Abby fell asleep about 8:30. June put her bassinet in the kitchen with her and proceeded to keep the drink tray moving. The only problem was this guy name Russ, who kept following her around, chatting, telling stories. He was one of those guys who thought he was funny, who talked to loud, who stood too close. Amanda noticed. This guy was following her husband around, like he was a high school kid with a crush. Amanda couldn't help herself. She wondered if something was going on with the two of them. Tess swore he had been faithful, but who could blame Russ for thinking she was sexy? She tried not to think of Russ's dick in her husband's mouth, but she failed. A little later, June was serving drinks, and Russ was following behind. He was holding a sprig of mistletoe above June's head, inviting her to kiss him. Amanda had seen enough. She walked into the next room and approached Tess. "Tess, I need to talk to you," she said. "What's up Mom? You having a good time?" "Not as good as June, it seems," Amanda said. "Excuse me?" "Tess, I've decided this life is the best one for your father. June is never going back to being Mark. We both know it. So why doesn't she stay here permanently and work for you? She can keep dressing in her little uniforms, and she can be there when Abby talks, when she walks, when goes to school." "Mom, you're wrong ...." "Hush, honey. Listen, I've met someone. No, don't look at me like that. We haven't done anything. But Mark...June left me, remember? Was I supposed to join a convent?" "Who is he, Mom?" "His name is Taylor Jennings. He works at my office. We've just hung out, gone to dinner, seen a couple of movies. He's nice. If your father stays here, well, we'll see what happens." "You're ... dating another man?" "It's for the best, Tess. That way, June can date Russ or whoever she wants. She's got a good lief here, Tess. I don't want her to have to give it up." "But you guys have been married forever." "Nothing lasts forever, Tess," Amanda said sadly." * * And so it began. After Amanda returned to Cincinnati, she would telephone June and Tess twice a week. But she seemed distant now, colder. One day, she mentioned that she had gone for a hike with Taylor. He had asked her to a concert. She started to mention how Taylor told the funniest jokes, how often he worked out, how sharp a dresser he was. She talked about going to get coffee with him, or playing tennis, or going to a museum. One day, she dropped into conversation that Taylor was a very, very good kisser. It was driving June crazy. He could not have a conversation with Amanda without Taylor's name coming up. He envisioned the two of them kissing, and touching, and making love. Was it bound to happen? Had months in a dress destroyed their marriage? Had the distance driven her to another man? There are couples who enjoy opening their marriage to others. June knew that. But she didn't a threesome. She didn't want to be a cuckold. She didn't want Amanda to leave her for someone else. "Tess, I don't know what I'm going to do," she said one night when Abby had gone to sleep. "I still love her." "I understand," Tess said. "It's my fault. Mine and Abby's." "No," June said. "I love Abby. I've loved taking care of her. It's no one's fault." "People grow apart. I'm sure this is just a fling." "It doesn't feel like a fling." "Maybe you should get your own boyfriend." "Of course not." "Russ is dying to ask you out," David said. "He thinks you're cute." "Aunt June, you don't have to do anything. Just go to dinner. Have a conversation that isn't in baby-talk. Clear your head." "No. Two of us cheating would be worse than one." "So you're going to be a nun the rest of your life?" David said. "I promised Russ I would talk to you for him." "Russ knows about me?" June said. "Hey, I was trying to help. If Russ took you out and ended up with a handful of nuts, he might react badly." "David, he isn't going to have his hands on my nuts." "No? Will you have your hands on his?" "Don't be silly, David." "How about this? How about Saturday night, Tess and I will go out to dinner, and we'll take Abby. I can arrange for Russ to stop by. And you two can, you know, see what happens." "Do it for me, Aunt June," Tess said. "I hate to see you without company." Eventually, they -- and her misery -- wore June down. Tess helped her pick out a dress -- a soft yellow dress with blue flowers on it -- and the two left. And June had never felt more alone in her life. * * June never knew what Russ was drinking. By the time she saw his flask, it was damn near empty. He had been drunk when he arrived at the Golden's house for dinner, and things went bad from the start. June had asked about his job, about working with David, about living in Seattle. Small talk between strangers. But Russ seemed not to hear. He kept leering at her with eyes that didn't quite focus. "You're pretty," Russ finally said. "Oh," June said. "Thank you. Did you try the pasta?" "I'd like to fuck your mouth." "Excuse me!" June said. "I don't think that's proper language, do you?" "You got nice lips. Fat lips. I like fat lips." "Please stop, Russ." "Excuse me. I've had a little bit to drink." "Russ, you're slurring your words." "How many men have been in your ass, Junie Moon?" "Russ! No one, if you want to know the truth. But behave." "Are you wearing panties, June? I'm not wearing any underwear myself. I just dangle." "This was a bad idea, Russ. Let's call it a night." Russ stood up, wobbling. He gathered his balance, then tugged on his belt. His pants flopped down to his ankles, and his erection stood straight up. "It's a nice dick," he said. "You wanna pet it?" "I want to call the cops, Russ, if you don't mind yourself." "Just touch it. Just for a little bit." "Russ, I'm not going to touch anything." "I'll touch yours," he said. "If you won't tell anyone." "Please leave, Russ. This isn't going well." He grabbed her wrist then. "I don't mind that you're a drag queen," he said. "I'm not a drag queen," June said. "I'll drag you. I'll drag you all over the carpet," Russ said. His hand was on her left breast then, and his breath was hot. His lips were inches away from hers, and then he was roughly kissing her. He smelled like bourbon and Old Spice. His hand ran up over her breasts and squeezed. He spun her then, and he began to grind against her bottom. June could feel his erection probe against her pantied ass. "I know you want it," he said. "I want it, too." June twisted, and for a moment, Russ stumbled. She pulled free and ran up the stairs. He stood at the bottom, calling her a whore as he clung to the railing. She shut the door, locked it. She could hear him call to her from downstairs. She put her face in her hands, and she felt her tears start to come . For hours, they did not stop. * * During the mornings when the weather held, June liked to take Abby to the park and push her in her pram. There were ducks there, and it was green, and there was usually a nice breeze blowing. Other women seemed to have the same idea with their babies. There were mothers, and there were maids, and there were nannies. The pathways were fairly crowded. June stopped by a bench overlooking the lake, and she smiled down at Abby. She sat and sipped her morning coffee. Here, it was peaceful. There were no horny men trying to force themselves upon her. A tall black woman in a gray uniform stopped nearby. "Mind if I sit?" she asked. "Please," June said. "I've seen you hear before. That's a cute baby." "Thank you. It belongs to my niece." "This one belongs to my wife and her boyfriend. I'm Kiki." "June." "I'm trans," Kiki said. "I thought you should know. My wife is, well, kind of in charge." "I'm trans, too," June said. "Lots of that going around." "So are you the maid for your niece?" "Oh, I'm not a maid," June said. "Of course, you're a maid, June. Look at how you're dressed." "No, really. I'm just helping out. This is my nanny uniform." Kiki laughed abruptly. "So are you too good to be a maid?" "No, not at all. I'm just not. My niece says I'm the Household Engineer." "Shit, that's just fancy talk for 'maid.' Like a janitor is a Custodial Engineer. Or how a secretary is a personal assistant." "Believe what you want, Kiki. But I'm not a maid." "Do you cook?" "Sometimes, sure, but I ..." "Do you clean?" "Yes, but ..." "Do you iron?" "Yeah." "Then you're a maid. It's okay. I'm a maid, too. My wife decided she'd rather have a maid that a husband, you know? She likes me to dress like this. So I serve at all of her parties and I keep the menfolk happy." June's mouth dropped open. Kiki was right. She was the damned maid. She mopped the floor and she made the beds and she cooked the dinners. She was a hired hand, dancing to whatever tune that was played. "Kiki, you're probably right. They do think of me as a maid. And a wet nurse." "Hell, it's all good, June. I like being a maid. You know what I like? I like to curtsy. There is something so feminine about it." June was quiet for a moment. "Kiki, what days do you come here? I could use a friend." By the time June returned home, she was angry. She kept rehearsing what she was going to say. Finally, she just blurted it out. "Tess" she said. "David? Am I the maid around here?" "Of course not," Tess said. "Well, she kind of is, Tess," David said. "Maybe we should just admit it." "David, that's not right. This is my aunt...I mean, my father." "Look at her, Tess. She's in a fucking uniform. She takes care of the house. She minds the baby. We should just sign her to a damn contract and be done with it." "Aunt June....do you want to be a maid? Is that what this is about?" "I bet it is. He likes the life. He wants to call me 'Master' and you 'Mistress.' He wants to clean the toilets and blow the dinner guests." "Tess, I'm doing this because I'm your father. That's the only reason." "Aunt June, you know I love you. But you also know that's not the only reason you're here. For you, this was a way to live the transgender life and sleep with men like Russ." "I never slept with Russ," June said. "Well, he says you did," Tess said. "He says you did it several times. And it's okay. A girl has to get some, too." "Tess, it's not like that. I'm not a maid." "I know you're not," Tess said. "But while you're up, could you bring me some cheese and crackers?" * * "So how are, Junie?" Amanda looked good on the Face-Time call. She seemed happy, healthy, fulfilled. "I'm good, thanks," Junie said. "How is Abby? You taking care of her?" "Abby's the most wonderful child there has ever been," June said. "I bet she is. Junie, can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Do you think I'm too old to have a baby?" "Um...I'd talk to my doctor about it if I was you." "It's just that Taylor never sees his son, and I thought maybe I could give him another one." "Can we not talk about Taylor?" "Oh. If you don't want, that's fine. You don't ask me about Taylor, and I won't ask you about Russ." "There is no Russ, Amanda." "No? You two break up? Well, you'll meet someone else." "I don't want someone else, Amanda. Can we talk about something else?" "Oh, did I tell you I got a new car? Taylor helped me pick it out. Wait. I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to mention Taylor, am I?" June sighed. "You can talk about whatever you want," she said. "Junie...what's it like to be butt-fucked?" "Excuse me?" "I'm sorry, Junie, but evidently, Taylor says he likes it a lot, but his cock is do damned big. I'm afraid it would tear me in half. Since you're the only person I know who has ever taken it back there, I wanted to ask. How bad does it hurt when he slips it in?" "Amanda...I've never had anal sex." "Oh, don't lie to your ex-wife, girl. It's not nice." "Ex-wife?" "Well, I guess we have some papers to sign first." "Are you ... are you asking for a divorce?" "Well, I figured you'd want one now that you've discovered men." "You know better than that." "Don't tell me what I know, Junie. I'll call David and have him give you a spanking." "Amanda....why are you being so mean?" "I'm not mean, Junie. I just think it's time for us to realize some things. We had a good run while it lasted." "We're still running, Amanda. You're still my wife." "Not for long, Junie. Soon, I'll be Mrs. Taylor Jennings. Hey, I know. Why don't you call me Mrs. Jennings. That way, I can have a proper relationship with my daughter's maid." "Please, no, Amanda," June said. "Mrs. Jennings," Amanda corrected. "You'll see. This will be much healthier for us. We can talk about men and sex and shopping. Hell, when Abby is older, maybe you can come to work for us. You'll love Taylor. Just wait." "I...I need to go, Amanda. I mean, Mrs. Jennings. The baby is crying. Soon, June was crying, too. * * The months crept along, and six months became eight, and eight months became a year. The days were marked by Abby's progress. She was so smart, so curious, so affectionate. Taking care of her took up most of June's days. She was walking now, and jabbering in her own language. Amanda had stopped calling June. Oh, she still called Tess, and they talked about Abby and David, but evidently, she had moved on with her life. It still hurt June to think about it. She started going to bars, but bars can be miserable places. She joined a book club. She took a cooking class. One day, just after Abby's first birthday, she had a thought. She would go back to Ohio for Christmas. Oh, she didn't plan on seeing Amanda. She was busy with Taylor, after all. But she could see Jeffrey and the old gang. She missed who she was, who she knew. And so, after talking to David and Tess, she jumped on a United flight and headed by the scene of the crime. She had planned to stay at the Marriott, and slip and and out of town unannounced. Instead, she rented a car and drove straight to Amanda's house ... their old house. She stood at the front door in a rose-colored summer dress and took a deep breath. She rapped quietly on the door. And there she was. Amanda. As gorgeous as ever. "Hello," she said. "The service entrance is around the back." "Um, Amanda...Mrs. Jennings. It's me. It's June." "I know, June. I was just joking." "Oh. I'm sorry. I was in town and, well, I wanted to see you." "Well, it's good to see you too. Won't you come in?" The house was much as June remembered it. The brown couch was still there. The wicker chair. The same photos of Tess, a few of Mark. A lot of Abby. "How are you, Mrs. Jennings? How is Taylor?" Amanda smiled slightly to herself. "I'm fine. And Taylor...isn't here." "No?" "No," Amanda said. "And you don't have to call me Mrs. Jennings. I just meant that as a joke." "I see. I didn't know." "You never did get the joke, Junie. It's one of the things I liked about you. How Is life as a maid?" "I guess it's okay," June said. "I don't like to think of myself as a maid, but I guess I am. Everyone else thinks so." Amanda nodded. "Are you still scrubbing toilets? Still mopping floors?" "When they need it," Junie said. Amanda smiled. "Is it a good life?" "I guess it's my life," Junie said. "Especially since you moved on." "I had to move on, Junie. It was the best thing for both of us." "It wasn't best for me. I mean, you found Taylor, but I never found anyone." "No one? How about Russ?" "Russ was an asshole who tried to rape me, Amanda." "My God. Really. I thought you two were lovers. I thought you might end up together." "Never. I mean, I was married to you. I mean, until Taylor came along. I hope he's good to you. I really do." "Junie, Junie, Junie," Amanda said, shaking her head. "There is no Taylor. He doesn't exist." "What?" "There never has been. I saw how happy you were working for Tess, so I made him up so you'd stop hanging onto a marriage you had outgrown. I wanted you to be free to date other people." "I never wanted to be free, Amanda." "So there has been no one else?" "No, Amanda. I swear. I've never slept with anyone but you. I never saw the point of it." "Jesus, June. I just thought..." "That's what happened when I stopped thinking for myself," June said. Amanda reached out her hand to June, and silently, June took it. Amanda brushed June's hair out of her face and softly kissed her on the lips. "I've missed that, Junie." "Me, too, Amanda." "Are you wearing your contraption?" Amanda said, looking down. "No," Junie said. "I"m not." "Then come with me." Amanda led June to the bedroom. She lay her down on the mattress and stroked her breasts. "Someone's gotten bigger," she giggled. "I love when you touch me there, Mrs. Jennings," June said, laughing. "Call me Russ," Amanda said. "No. Not Russ." "Then call me Taylor." "Yes, Taylor. So what's this I hear about your big dick?" Amanda chuckled. She reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out a long, narrow object. A dildo. She rubbed it against June's cheek. "Will you suck it, sissy girl?" June smiled again. She kissed the tip of it. "It's very big, Taylor." "Wait until it's in your ass, Junie." Junie laughed again. "I dare ya," she said. "I think you'll double-doggy dare me," Amanda said. Together, they melted into one, together again. And it was perfect. * * Epilogue Three days a week, June was the maid, and Amanda was Mrs. Jennings. Seven days a week, June wore dresses. That part of her wasn't a game. They had discovered a lot about each other in the previous year, about caring, about communication, about commitment. It isn't about what others assume, or opine. It's about two hearts that blend together. June didn't return to Seattle. She had done her time up there. It was up to Tess to raise her baby now. Most couples managed. In was in August that the phone rang. "Mom?" Tess was calling. "Is Aunt June there? I have some news for you." "You've made partner already?" Amanda said. "No, silly," Tess said. "Abby is going to be a big sister. I'm pregnant again. It keeps happening." Amanda shrieked again. June just sat and muttered to herself. "Oh, shit," she said. Copyright, Cassandra Morgan