The Little Black Dress of Joy
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The Little Black Dress Of Joy Part 2 free porn video
The Little Black Dress of Joy.
By Tanya H.
TWO..
A train's tooting stirred me the next morning. Only minutes later, with
sunlight slanting through a gap in the curtains I sat and sobbed in the
gloom. Having awoken with a Christmas morning feeling, excited about the
things I was going to do on that Sunday now I was Pippa; ice skating,
lunch in a nice coffee shop, a little more shopping, a long walk
somewhere - all as a woman - my Christmas joy had been stolen.
Still sniffling with misery I sat down to pee, but didn't need to; the
cock had returned. I'd gone man again, all was as it had been and I
hated it. Even when I wriggled my way into That Dress again, and sat
there a ten whole minutes, nothing happened. I waited a little longer.
No change. I made breakfast. Still a man.
The awful realisation of what I was and what I had been crushed me - I
left my breakfast cereal to congeal and cried listlessly, staring into
space and knowing with awful certainty that I couldn't bear being male
any more.
The next week passed in miserable moping. Each evening when I got home
from work I put on that dress and each time I stayed resolutely male and
took it off. Where I had once looked forward to getting home and
stepping into a skirt, now the idea repulsed me. Having been out and
gloriously woman I couldn't accept any shallow substitute.
"You can do it?" I said to the mirror one morning, it might have been
Wednesday. I'd been busy researching through the internet and checking
government websites for processes and structures, forms and procedures
for changing my gender. I could have wept at the prospect of the rocky
road I was looking along, but having experienced one afternoon as Pippa
I knew I needed to do it.
Friday came and Nina came too. As I turned the corner from the bus stop
I saw her sitting on my doorstep beside her usual, canvas holdall. She
turned at the sound of my steps, and I started a wave before the set of
her shoulders made me realise somebody had been through a worse week
than me.
Before I could get her inside her sobs had wet my shoulder; I found
myself hugging a new Nina, somebody I had never seen before - she'd
always been so strong, so sure. It took a while to hear what was wrong,
the words couldn't come, each one was broken by splintered hurt and raw
incomprehension. Finally, when my top was wet with tears I heard -
Juliette had dumped her.
"I didn't know where else to go, what else to do." She sat with her
knees drawn up, resting her chin on them, staring at the carpet. I had
an arm around her shoulders, holding her close, while she squeezed tight
my other hand. Nina sniffled again. "At work I tough it out, laughed it
off. "Fuck her," I said to them, "don't need her." She sneered with
disgust. "Sometimes I hate being a squaddie. Oh Jesus, Phil - she dumped
me, I miss her. Why did she do that? What a bitch."
I made her tea, found some chocolate digestives - her favourites, and
sat beside her, knees touching, arm around her shoulder. My own drama
paled beside her real hurt and besides, if I were a woman wouldn't I be
a friend for her need, a sister for her anguish?
"You're a star," she said and wiped decisively at her nose. I felt her
shoulders square and she twisted slightly to look at me. I brushed some
fringe aside and she thanked me. "You know, Phil, you're more than a
star." Momentarily uncomfortable under her direct gaze I went to offer
her another biscuit, but super fast she seized my hand and held it. "The
best friend a girl could ask for."
She tilted her face and kissed my cheek, then she cried some more.
The weekend passed with me hiding my grief and giving an increasingly
soggy shoulder for Nina to vent hers onto. I didn't mind; to cuddle her,
to endure her anger against Juliette's betrayal and soothe her
afterwards made welcome distractions from my own turmoil. To be honest,
I found some satisfaction from selflessly being there for her.
On Saturday we took a train to Southport, walked the pier and the
seafront, shared fish and chips then walked until the sun looked tired
and our feet hurt. She talked about her and Juliette, opened up about
her life before the Army then, haltingly, let me into some dark, dusty
and bloody places from her last tour in Afghanistan. I struggled to
visualise some of what she told me, I'd seen clips of our soldiers in
action, but I couldn't imagine Nina weighted down by rifle, body armour,
helmet and her medical kit calmly ignoring the bullets kicking up stones
around her while she did her job with the wounded. I couldn't see her
with bloodied dust caking her hands, screaming and swearing at her
casualty in the foulest terms to stay with her. I couldn't imagine her
weeping through the grime in a stinking portaloo - the only private
space she could find to let go - after she'd cradled a legless infantry
soldier and held his eyes as he quietly bled to death waiting for a
helicopter.
"I saw his lights go out, Phil," she said, staring dry eyed across the
Irish Sea. "He never cried, never even fucking whimpered and I'd done
everything I could and all I had left was holding the poor bastard as he
faded out."
For a moment she'd gone, lost from me and Southport's pier, back in that
hot, horrible place, quivering like a length of pressured steel in my
embrace before she sniffed, shook her head and smiled up at me.
"Sorry. You don't need to hear this shit."
"Tell me whatever you need to. I just wish I could say something, but
it's way out of my experience." I'd seen people die, obviously - what
nurse hasn't, but not in that raw, twisted way she had. "I'm not much
help."
"Dickhead," she said, playfully and gave me a push towards the railings
and the sea. That grin went over her face, like the first few minutes
hadn't happened. "You're the best."
Later, on the train back home she rested her head on my shoulder and I
thought she'd nodded off until she brought me back to the moment with a
kiss. "You know, it takes a kick in the arse to make you see what's
what. You've never asked anything of me, Phillip Allan. Not once. Always
here, always welcome whenever I turn up even if I haven't been for six
months. Solid Phil, that's who you are. Dependable. Couldn't have asked
for a better friend could I? A better mate?"
Sunday came, we'd shared my bed, but not each other simply holding hands
as we drifted off to sleep. I wondered drowsily about our relationship,
that she'd turn to me as a friend rather than a mate; come to me for
comfort rather than looking for sex, like she had when she'd been
Juliette's girlfriend. That spread a warm feeling through me; it made me
feel like I was a girlfriend to her - not a sexual partner, but that
she'd sensed some kindred, sisterly connection to me, reinforcing my
determination to press on with my transition.
After she went back to her barracks very early on Monday morning, I
started itemising the process; people I'd need to tell and steps that
must be taken. Several times that week my fingers hovered over my
phone's keyboard, caught in the act of phoning for a doctor's
appointment. Each time I found some thin excuse not to call. When I left
work on Friday afternoon, still without haven't actually started the
journey, I found Nina waiting outside, looking like a doll in her old,
black, Suzuki Grand Vitara.
A wide grin took over my face to see her there waving frantically, as if
I could have missed her and the delighted smile she sent my way.
Whatever plans I'd had for the weekend got mentally ripped up. Nina had
come to see me again - this would be a good one.
"I've been thinking," she said as she drove us home, both hands white
knuckled around the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the traffic, but not
really seeing the road. "And this is a shit way of doing this, but I'm
shit at this sort of thing."
That sparked my curiosity, and maybe dented the warm feeling I'd found
from going home with my best friend.
"Thinking a lot," she went on. "Bear with me, I'm no good at speeches.
Anyway, listen; you're not just a mate, you're much more than a mate."
Her eyes narrowed slightly, her lips tightened. "I have only just
realised what's been staring me in the face for ages. You've never asked
for anything from me, Phil. I rock up out of nowhere on a Friday for a
shag, drag you off into the ooloo for whatever I need to do then vanish
again. And I've finally figured it out. Without anybody else cluttering
up my head I've realised what it is."
Without any warning she hauled her truck onto the side of the road,
ignored the horn blaring as some delivery driver swerved to avoid us,
and put it into neutral. For a moment she glared at the road, then faced
me and bit her lip.
"I love you."
Which I hadn't expected.
Colour rose in her cheeks. She made to put her truck back into gear and
get going, but I couldn't let this moment pass and took her hand as it
rested on the gear stick. Funny how you only need something wonderfully
simple to put a relationship into context and add clarity to the mix of
emotions I'd been stewing in since I'd first worn That Dress.
"I love you too."
She sighed with relief. "Oh, thank God. I nearly phoned to tell you
during the week, I was so excited when I realised I just had to say, but
then I thought - what if it pushes him away or he thinks Nina's just on
the rebound or some shit like that so I had to keep it to myself and I
was almost bursting..."
I shushed her with a kiss. The kiss went way beyond anything like the
pressing of one person's lips to another. Right there in some grubby
street, surrounded by the teatime traffic and ignoring the pedestrians
we had several minutes of sheer passion until we parted and I saw her
eyes sparkling, cheeks glowing and mouth parted with breathlessness.
"We need to get back to your place," she murmured. "Right now."
We made love, of course we did - how could we not have followed a kiss
of such passion without sex? Again, it was unlike anything else I'd
experienced with her - as though having Juliette gone had released
something in her, like she didn't have to hold anything back. When we
were done, laid in a tangle of limbs and bedding and watching the stars
doing their best through the city's ambient light I wondered for a
moment if I really did want to be a woman.
"I utterly, utterly, completely love you, Phil," she whispered.
What would Nina have made of me, Pippa? Would she have found me
attractive? Would she have wanted to make me feel the way she had just
done? I would have loved to undressed before her, to strip away that
dress and my underwear, to let her see what I had been for a few hours
and feel her tight body press into those wonderful curves. Surely Nina
would have loved me like that?
"I love you, Nina," I said into the quiet. "I have for ages. And ages."
"I should have come to you properly, last year. When Jul- when she was
being a bitch about that course I had to go on. Should have realised
then, should have left her."
"It's okay. I was happy just to see you when I did."
She snuggled closer, pinned me under a leg and an arm. "I love you. I
even love saying it. I love you, Phil."
And if I could have made that moment and that feeling last then I think
I could have gone on living a male lie. If she had worked in an office
or a shop somewhere and I was going to see her every weekend and every
evening I could maybe have made a determined effort to be Phil. But she
didn't and I knew I couldn't - not after what I'd experienced.
Perhaps I could have waited to tell her until some time had passed, when
maybe her passion had cooled or her Juliette pain had faded some more,
but that didn't seem right either. So there and then, with our love for
each other spoken aloud I stroked her hair, kissed her nose and told
her.
"Nina, this might be a bad time..." She stiffened as though I was about
to say there was somebody else, so I pushed on. "I'm going to be a
woman."
That breath she'd held came out long and slow.
"Rather, I'm going to live as a woman. I already am one - inside."
"Bloody hell, Phil," she whispered, still and tense alongside me.
"That's a biggie. That's a great big, rev up and fuck-off revelation."
"I'm sorry, truly. Really sorry."
Her head came up, her eyes were wet. "Don't leave me."
I almost bit my tongue with surprise when she said that. It took a
moment to collect my thoughts, a moment for her tears to run onto my
chest and there was my amazing, tempered-steel Nina trembling and
vulnerable again.
"Why would I? I'd have thought you'd have want to run a mile from
something like that!"
"Run? From that? Did you not hear what I said? I love you." She rolled
away, sat up, swung her leg over me and pinned my arms with her knees.
Her high, round breasts caught the light which shadowed the knurled IED
scars down the right side of her body. The way she looked at me reminded
me of old Nina; Nina laughing in a gale along Striding Edge, scrambling
along scree on Snowdon - Nina who had held broken people together while
helicopters and machine gun rounds kicked up dust around her. "You
becoming a woman doesn't even come close to messing with my head, that
shit is old news where I come from!" She wriggled a bit until her very
wet labia were laid lovingly along the line of my limp cock. "What's it
to be then? Phillipa? Please don't say Phyllis. I am not going out with
any bloody Phyllis!"
I almost laughed with relief, she looked so fierce - so alive. "Pippa."
"Pippa," she affirmed and bent to kiss me. "Promise I get the last go on
your cock."
"I promise."
Nina kissed me again and moved her hips in a seductive fashion. It had
the effect she was looking for and moments later she wriggled a little
more to wrap me in her gorgeous, slippery heat.
Next morning, I couldn't remember a time when I'd woken up feeling more
content, more satisfied with the world. The woman I loved lay warm and
close beside me, I had made my decision and even the rocky path that
decision had opened didn't seem so troublesome with Nina alongside.
But as I stirred from sleep, smiling to see Nina on one elbow and
looking down at me, as though she'd been there for ages waiting for me
to wake, something hard in her expression made me frown.
"Morning, princess," she said, an edge in her voice matching the look in
her eyes.
"What's up?"
"Good question. Good choice of words actually. Nothing, Pippa, is up.
Quite the opposite in fact." She reached under the duvet and found one
of my hands. "In the spirit of the promise I extracted from you last
night, I thought I would wake you up with a little oral love this
morning. Imagine my surprise when I found this!"
With that she plonked down my hand on my groin and made sure my fingers
went between my thighs. For a second I thought she'd placed my hand
between her own legs, for under my fingers were the unmistakable lines
of drowsy labia. Though I quickly realised they couldn't be hers, for I
could feel my fingers through them.
Electric excitement arced through me - I'd become female again - but
vanished as soon as I sat up and missing the happy shifting of my
breasts. With the duvet thrown back I found a strange mixture of a man's
body with female genitals and Nina staring at me; what a look!
"That is a vulva," she said decisively and pointed. "I've been a medic
for ages, I know all that medical stuff. And I've got one of my own. And
I've been right up close to a few in my time. What the bejesus is it
doing there?"
"I..."
"Good start."
Spreading my legs gave me a better view, Nina moved so she could see as
well. Gently, like I might break them, I parted those soft labia
exposing the suggestion of a vagina under the hooded outline of a
clitoris; everything you would expect to find with a woman, just
superimposed between my legs.
"I don't know what's happening."
"There's a girl in my squadron, one of the drivers, she's biologically
male - been on oestrogen long enough that she's got nice boobs, but
nothing like that." Nina pointed again. "That looks real."
"It is real."
She pushed my knees together. "You can stop staring now." Her arms
wrapped me, she kissed my shoulder. "Glad I had my go on your knob last
night. What's going on?"
After a deep breath I told her. "There's this dress."
Of course I had to show her; she examined it sceptically while it just
hung there enigmatically. We both went over every seam, but beyond the
label giving its size and washing instructions we couldn't find anything
to suggest it was anything other than an ordinary, cotton dress. She
suggested I put it on - I was still too wide over the shoulders to fully
fasten the zip, though at least there were no boy bits to spoil its
lines. The bare, hairy legs hanging from under the hem didn't look good.
Nina folded her arms and tapped her foot while I resolutely didn't
change into a woman.
"There are pictures," I said when I'd replaced the dress in my wardrobe.
Nina scrolled through the selfies I'd taken, then handed me my phone.
Her face remained skeptical.
"She looks like you, that's for sure - hot too. You know, I've seen some
shit in my time. Nothing like this. If I hadn't touched your tuppence
for myself I'd laugh in your face. Looks like you've been given some
kind of head start, Pippa my girl."
She looked over the clothes I'd bought on that expedition, tried on my
beautiful heels and I agreed she could borrow them - it didn't seem like
I'd have any use for them anytime soon.
"In a charity shop?" she pressed.
I nodded. "The cancer research place."
"I bet they'd have charged you more than five quid if they knew what it
did!"
"I'd pay more if it would do it again!"
"You got your bits changed! No pleasing some people. I wonder where it
came from?" She pointedly looked skywards. "The big fella?"
"Two thousand years without a miracle then he makes a magic dress?"
She folded her arms. "Must have come from somewhere, dickhead."
There wasn't much else to say after that. We breakfasted, conversed
along obvious 'what's going on' lines and cleared up before Nina, always
restless in one place, demanded we went out.
"I'm not sitting here all day watching you watching for the first sign
of tits. We're going to climb something."
"What if I change some more?"
She was already pulling on her shoes.
"Go on then."
"I might."
"We'll improvise, adapt and overcome. Get your walking boots, girl. I'll
be outside warming the car up."
Despite everything, I allowed myself a little smile to be called, girl.
Has anybody ever had a better girlfriend?
It was only a shortish drive up the M6 to the Lake District, by lunch
time we were on some crag overlooking Windermere, cuddled close in the
keen wind and fine drizzle. Her cheeks glowed, her eyes shone, though
periodically she had a little frown when she looked at me and remembered
my changed circumstances. Periodically I had a crunching frown of
consternation when the void left by my changed circumstances came to
notice. The circumstances remained changed, I am pleased to report.
Though I hadn't been so pleased when the big coffee she'd treated me to
at a motorway service stop transformed itself into bladder urgency in a
particularly exposed section of fell.
"Not so cool having a bejingo now, is it, princess?" she grinned,
keeping watch as I adopted an undignified squat behind a wall.
"Still cool."
"Shit, somebody's coming!" she called when I was in mid-flood. "Only
joking."
"Bitch!"
"I'll make a squaddie of you yet, Pippa."
"Can't wait."
But I kissed her anyway - I got a little glow each time she called me
'princess' or 'Pippa'. She kissed me back.
Nina did her best to distract - she claimed to have been walking in
Cumbria since she'd been an egg, which I took to mean her Mum had been a
keen walker too - so she made a distracting tour guide. Even so, events
in my knickers (underpants didn't fit comfortably without the required
tackle) pulled my thoughts away from the scenery - glorious, even in low
cloud and drizzle.
We sat, back to back, on a rock and sharing a Scotch Egg and Mars Bar
when Nina asked me how I was feeling.
"Weird."
"Any boobs yet?" I shook my head; after the fundamental realignment of
genitals last night nothing else had changed.
"You're taking it very well, Nina."
"What else am I supposed to do? Run away screaming 'OMG!' to my bezzies
and updating all my social media accounts to status 'freaked out'?"
"Not exactly, but - "
"No buts. I love you. You going and doing something so weirdly
impossible as growing a fanjita isn't going to dent that feeling." She
twisted me into a hug, then a long kiss.
"Besides, I'm curious. You looked cute in those selfies and I'm in the
market for a hot new girlfriend."
"What if it stops like this?"
"Duh! You've still got a head start on those trans-babes, babe. This is
some kind of way-out wish fulfilment going on for you." She put her head
on one side and thought for a moment. "I've heard of the 'chicks with
dicks' concept, but you're on new ground here... Man with flange? Does
that work?
"I'm not a man."
"No, then. I'll try and think of something better."
Dinner was found in a riverside pub on the way home, dark had fallen and
we were both tired - from the walk, Nina never ambled anywhere, and our
exertions the night before. It was good to sit with my head on her
shoulder absently contemplating the remains of a very good pie and
chips.
"What's our plan?" Nina said.
"Drive home. Go to bed. See what happens in the morning."
"That's a pretty vague plan."
"I can't think of anything else."
"Let's stay over and get quietly, prettily pissed."
"We haven't got any kit."
"We'll swap knickers in the morning."
Nina had a chat with the landlady - a double room was available. The
24hour garage just down the road had toothbrushes and toothpaste,
everything else we needed was in the room. We got drunk by the fire and
when we were still working our way down a couple of pints of some dark,
local ale the landlady bade us goodnight, locked the place up and went
upstairs.
"Have you had a female orgasm yet?" Nina asked, all wide-eyed innocence,
as we finally collapsed on the bed.
"I may have explored a bit."
"A bit?" She rolled me onto my back and threw herself on top of me.
"Just a bit? What did you think?"
"Amaaaaaaazing."
"You haven't felt anything yet, Pippa, my mixed up beauty," she
promised, reaching between us for my belt.
We stripped hurriedly, throwing our clothes off like they were burning;
an urgent pulse beat in a place I'd never felt one before as she threw
herself onto the bed and pulled me down on top of her.
"It's magic," she murmured, pressing her lovely mound against mine.
"Actual, bona fide, Ministry of Magic, magic. Like I say, I've seen some
-"
"Shit?"
"Exactly, lots of it, anyway the world seems just a little bit sparklier
today; first I'm about to have some amazing hotel sex with my best
friend and second, somehow somebody or something has seen fit to make
you a woman."
A few minutes passed, during which she kissed me, her hands moving up
and down my back, her breasts pressed intimately against me, our tongues
happily entwined. All the while my body made me fully aware of how
things were different now; the same Nina made my arousal grow, her body
inspired the same breathless excitement, but it felt so different; the
heat, the need to be touched was all inside now. I parted my legs,
hoping to encourage her to slip her fingers in me, but Nina had other
ideas.
The room's ensuite was generous and clean with a wide bath and shower
which Nina turned on full before pulling me under the steaming water
with her.
"This is where I show you how amazing it is to be a lesbian," she said,
her voice and almost lost under the sluicing water.
I'd never experienced anything like it, the sheer intensity, ecstasy,
incandescence she lifted in me with her lips, tongue and fingers; with
the jet of water from the shower head, from the kiss of her own
superheated, glistening labia when she expertly licked them onto mine as
we scissored on the bed later on. She brought me to orgasm and later
teased me as I teetered on the brink of another, denying me the release
I craved and laughing with delight as she did it. I'd had to smother my
cries with a pillow when she treated me to three of her fingers. With a
giggle she pronounced that my tuppence, one of her more refined names
for the lady garden, looked, felt and tasted exactly as a sexually
mature woman's should. Praise indeed. Then she challenged me to repeat
what I'd experienced on her, coaching and helping me explore her own
excitement in a way I'd not experienced before, which I enjoyed even
more for knowing what she was feeling.
"Wait until your breasts grow, then I'll show you some fireworks," she
promised as we cuddled together under the covers much later on. Breasts
seemed too much to hope for, but as I drifted off to sleep I felt
content with the way my life was going and the hand I'd get to hold as I
moved forward.
Yvette
- 01.01.2022
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