Surefuck Bones The Darling Mysteries
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"Thank you, Mrs. Hummer," said I. She took my soaked coat the instant I came through the front door. She placed it on a hook and put a towel on the floor to soak up the water.
The rain was sudden and unexpected. I had just stepped from the hansom cab when the sky released its downpour. In my haste to escape, I slipped to the ground. I became quite wet in the short time it took to rise to my feet and enter the residence of 34D Cummings Street. This was the lodgings of my good friend Mr. Surefuck Bones, 17 steps up in the second story flat.
"It looks like the sky is clearing, Dr. Wadshot," Mrs. Hummer stated.
Mrs. Hummer was generally of very sound mind, so I could not fathom why she would make such a declaration. I turned to look through the open door. The sun indeed shone through the dark clouds and the rain had dissipated to a mere drizzle.
"Right you are," said I to the landlady as I closed the door. "If I had known the sky would clear in few minutes, I surely would have remained in the safety of the cab instead of ruing my misfortune of becoming chilled to the bone."
I ascended the steps and knocked upon the door.
"Enter," cheerfully said the voice of Bones, my dear friend.
You have heard me give accounts of his detective prowess and of his keen, uncanny mind in The Case of the Four Virgin Daughters, one of Mr. Bones' greatest challenges, and in The Mystery of the Hairless Pussies which took Mr. Bones no more than a couple of hours to solve while Inspector Legsman probed the mystery for several days.
As I stepped inside, I grabbed my aching side.
"I see Wadshot that you enjoyed a good boff of the young widow Evershaw," said Bones with a large grin. His eyes twinkled in that way they did when Bones was in a humorous demeanor.
"My man!" I ejaculated in surprise. "However did you know that?"
"I am not so prolific with the ladies as you, my good doctor, nor can I possibly keep track of all your lady friends, but it is simplicity to determine that you boffed the widow Evershaw."
Bones was indeed right. I did make a house call upon Mrs. Evelyn Evershaw this morning and indeed boffed her. The husband of the young 23-year old woman was my patient, but despite all the wonderful advances of modern medicine, there was little I could do to stop his death. The only good I could prevail upon Mr. Evershaw's life was to lower his pain until he passed away. Upon Mr. Evershaw's death I, as a good doctor and a good friend, offered my companionship to the widow Evershaw. Evelyn was most happy to accept my appeasement through frequent indulgences upon my cock.
Bones chuckled before he explained. "I am well aware that the lovely widow Evershaw likes to bounce upon your fat cock while you are standing with her legs wrapped around you and with her arms twined behind your neck. As thin and as light as she might be, it still puts a strain upon the back of a man your age."
"Right you are, Bones! Right you are!" said I. I was once again in complete admiration of my good friend's abilities.
"It is evident to anyone," he said modestly.
Bones was always far too diffident for I would not hesitate to say that he was the sharpest mind in all of London if not in all the Kingdom.
"Excuse my appearance, Bones," I stated. "I was caught upon by the rains."
"Have a seat, good doctor. You seem well the wear after your slip and fall."
I sat in the armchair on the opposite side of the lamp stand that separated my chair from the one Bones currently sat in.
"The wet scuff upon my knees makes it easy to determine my fall," I stated proudly.
"Yes. Still it is not as evident as your boff of the widow Evershaw," he said which deflated my own sense of deductive ability. "The trousers you wear are an older pair. I have noted the thinning of material around your knees and the gradual inability for the cloth to appear clean. The fact that the spots on your knees are small indicates you dropped to your knees unexpectedly then quickly rose which allows me to correctly ascertain your fall. As for Mrs. Evershaw, any person with a little knowledge of your affection for her pussy, her predilection for your fat cock, and the manner which she is inclined to satisfy her predilection could easily conclude when you boffed her."
"Pure genius!" I spouted.
"Simplicity, Wadshot," he said. "Enough of that simple exercise. You are just in time!" Bones' excitement increased as he spoke. "A visitor shall be upon us at any moment. Perhaps he will have a challenge."
As I have stated in other chronicles of Surefuck Bones, one of my greatest concerns because of my friend's great intellect was his need to keep his mind active with challenges. He had taken to the use of a seven-percent solution to keep his mind entertained. As a medical doctor and as a good friend, I had cautioned Bones frequently about the dangers of such concoctions but my admonitions had fallen upon unhearing ears.
There was a knock upon the door.
"Yes?" called out Bones.
Mrs. Hummer opened the door. "A visitor to see you, Mr. Bones."
"Show him right up," said Bones excitedly. When Mrs. Hummer left, he said, "Our visitor is several minutes early. He is evidently very agitated about the outcome of his mystery and eager for its resolution."
Bones' intellectual prowess was always amazing and impressive.
Once more there was a knock upon the door.
"Enter," said Bones loudly.
"Mr. Edward Harrison," announced Mrs. Hummer.
A well-dressed man in his 40s entered. He did not have the very finest clothing, but I could proudly establish that he was financially stable.
"Mr. Harrison," said Bones, rising. I rose with him. "Please have a seat and tell us what brings you to us in such a distracted state. This is my friend, Dr. Wadshot. He is of invaluable assistance to me, so I hope you do not mind if he remains while you tell us your tale."
"Certainly not," said Mr. Harrison sitting in the chair across from us. "I welcome anyone who can help solve my quandary. It is Dr. Wadshot's chronicles of you, sir, that have brought me."
"Unfortunately the good doctor is prone to hyperbole," Bones said.
I frowned. I felt I had toned the stories down, at Bones' request, the account of his abilities too much already.
"However," said Bones, "tell us your mystery and perhaps we may be of service to you."
Mr. Harrison said, "Thank you, Mr. Bones. My mystery indeed has caused significant distraction though I do not know how you came upon that understanding."
"It is evident you are distracted," said Bones. "Your hair is not groomed like a man of your profession maintains." Bones looked at me. "What else do you see, doctor?"
I studied our guest as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"By Jove!" shouted I excitedly. "The buttons on his vest are out of order."
Mr. Harrison looked down and noticed my assessment was correct.
"Well done, Wadshot!" praised Bones. Mr. Harrison worked to correct the error. "Never mind the buttons. Please do tell us of your story and of your mystery."
Mr. Harrison stopped, looked intently at Bones, and began to speak rapidly.
"Ten nights ago, I was asleep on my bed when I was awakened by a delectable pleasure. A feminine form sucked on my cock in a most excellent manner. When I ejaculated and became briefly incapacitated, the woman disappeared into the night. I inquired the next morning to my wife and household about any strange visitors or unique happenings, but she knew of no disturbances or strange events. Of course, I could not explain in detail to them the circumstances or nature of my inquiry."
"Of course," replied Bones. "Do go on." His face was passive but I knew that behind his expressionless appearance was an active mind already putting together theories and ideas.
"I had finally taken to believe that my experience was simply a vivid dream, but last night I was again greeted by a mystical mouth upon my cock."
"Oral pleasure can be found anywhere," said I.
"Yes, Dr. Wadshot," responded Mr. Harrison. "I agree, but she was the most intense oral experience I could remember."
"Could you not simply turn on the lamp and illuminate her?" asked I. As much as I wanted Bones to have a worthy case, there appeared to be little to this mystery.
"This is a woman of rare talent. I am completely under her spell when she sucks my cock." Mr. Harrison stood up. "You see, gentlemen. I am a man of substance."
Mr. Harrison dropped his pants. His cock was impressive. Since his thoughts were upon his orally talented mystery woman, he was fully erect. He was nine inches long during hardness.
"This woman can push her mouth down upon my cock so it enters into her throat until her lips press against my curled hair. I have not experienced such great pleasure since my wife was capable to do in her younger years. It is great difficulty for Priscilla to do so now and I do not ask it."
"Yes, that is why the good doctor here has a taste for the younger ladies," joked Bones.
"They do indeed taste good," I replied with a light chuckle. I had long ago realized there was no need to apologize for my grand delight in women.
"Can you help me, Mr. Bones?" pleaded Mr. Harrison. "As you stated, I am to the point of distraction. No doubt my wife, children, and servants have had enough of me these last ten days. I am a desperate man, Mr. Bones. I am not a rich man, but I have plenty enough that I can pay you handsomely if you can find this woman."
"I would like to find such a talented woman myself," said Bones, rising from his chair.
Bones dropped his trousers and his hard ten inch cock was exposed to the cool air in the room.
"Most impressive, Mr. Bones!" lauded Mr. Harrison. "I certainly would not object to sharing the talent of this woman if she was so inclined."
"I appreciate your generosity," said Bones. "Since I will benefit from such an arrangement, I will reduce my fee when I locate her."
"You are a good man, Mr. Bones. I must take my leave now. I hope you can find her."
Bones kept silent. I knew he was irritated that Mr. Harrison did not hear Bones clearly state that he would locate this mystery woman. Harrison had implied the possibility that the woman may not be found.
"Good day!" said Bones politely.
Mr. Harrison left.
Bones pulled up his trousers and sat back down.
"Where do we begin?" I inquired.
"With what?" he asked.
"The woman. How will you find her? The woman could reside anywhere."
"Oh, that. I will ask if she is willing to demonstrate her talents tomorrow morning in this very room."
"You know who it is?" I said amazed. I could not fathom how Bones could know. "Mr. Harrison could not even give a description of the woman."
"I will make a couple of inquiries as I make my rounds. I am almost certain I know the purveyor of such wondrous oral abilities."
I knew Bones would not tell me who it was except in his own sense of proper timing.
"Poor Wadshot," mock-sympathized Bones. He could see my internal fight to ask. "Perhaps the young lady will be willing to also be enjoyed in your special way."
As I mentioned in earlier chronicles, I had many experiences penetrating the delightful asses of many ladies. This was the special way that Bones referred to. While my cock was only five inches long when erect, it was twice as fat as the average cock. It filled a pussy or an ass quite excellently for the lass's and my mutual pleasure.
"My rounds!" said I suddenly standing abruptly. I forgot my own medical rounds. The thoughts of boffing an ass reminded me of my duties. "I must return to my office. Miss Emma Smythe will be arriving for her physical."
"Another woman spoiled from marriage."
"It is not my fault, Bones, that women prefer to be with me rather than seek a husband who likely will not be able to satisfy her in the same professional manner that I am so capable of doing."
"Will you be here tomorrow morning?" he asked.
"Yes, certainly," I answered.
I had a morning appointment with Mrs. Caldwell, but I would stop upon her residence this evening to investigate what ailed her and to provide a large quantity of glad into her life. She greatly relished my gobs of glad.
"Good morning!" cheerfully greeted Bones upon my entry.
"Good morning! When do you expect this mystery woman?" I asked.
"In due time, Wadshot. In due time. Help me prepare the table."
We walked across the room to the expertly crafted waist-high table. Bones removed a bowl containing what appeared to be a small rusted piece of flaked metal and another bowl containing a small quantity of yellow powder. I went beneath the table to pull out the cushions. Bones pushed the papers on the table together without care for maintaining order. With the table empty, I strapped the cushions to the top.
After the table was prepared, I sat in a chair and waited expectantly for our guest. Bones removed his pants. He placed a towel on the chair before sitting then placed another towel in his lap to cover his cock. It looked as hard and as ready as my own cock. We were both eager to see the skill of this woman.
"Our visitor is here," Bones said.
I stood to look outside. Bones' keen hearing had picked up the arrival of a carriage. I caught the fleeting glimpse of a light blue dress. I returned to my seat just before the knock at the door.
"Come!" said Bones.
A young woman of sixteen entered. She wore the light blue dress I briefly saw moments ago.
"Please come in," said Bones, waving each of his bony fingers one-by-one to draw her forward.
"Mr. Bones?" she inquired hesitantly.
"Yes. Have a seat."
The young woman closed the door and sat down.
"Welcome, Miss Patricia," said Bones.
"What is this all about, Mr. Bones?" she asked nervously.
"I see you received my note," said Bones. For the first time, I noticed a crumpled note was clutched in her left hand.
"Yes," said Patricia. "Why did you request my presence here this morning? Is it your desire to extort money?"
"Do you know who you are talking to?" I exclaimed. Her question nearly made me jump out of my chair. I could not let such a woman, no matter how lovely and no matter how talented her mouth may be, assault the good reputation of my friend.
"It is quite alright," said Bones to pacify me. "Would you mind reading the note for Dr. Wadshot?"
"Very well," Patricia said annoyed. She flattened the note out on her lap then picked it up and read.
To the mystery woman that comes in the night to Mr. Edward Harrison. Please be at 34D Cummings Street at 9 AM tomorrow morning.
"So you do not deny that you are the woman?" I asked.
"No," Patricia said sadly.
"Mr. Harrison said you give an excellent blowjob," said Bones.
"He did?" asked Patricia with a glimmer of pleasure in her countenance.
"He was very much pleased. He said you are skilled at much more than the basic blowjob," said Bones.
"Indeed," replied Patricia with rising spirits. "I gave Mr. Harrison a deep throat."
"He showed us his cock," said Bones. "It is of a decent size."
"A decent size?" laughed Patricia. "If you had really seen it, you would know it is much more than a decent size! It is big and it is wonderful."
"You like big cocks?" I asked.
"Indeed so, Dr. Wadshot."
"Yes," said Bones. "Mr. Harrison's size was decent enough to be considered big."
Patricia was about to once more protest the description of Mr. Harrison's cock when she stopped frozen with her eyes on Bones' lap. Bones had removed the towel to expose his ten inch cock.
"Mr. Bones!" said Patricia in a loud whisper of awe.
"In my conversation with Mr. Harrison," said Bones, "I also expressed my interest in finding a woman with the singular talent you possess. Perhaps I can prevail upon you to demonstrate that skill upon me."
The young Patricia required no persuasion. She dropped to her knees before Bones and took his cock head into her mouth and between her lips. I adjusted my chair so I could look better upon the activity. I was eager to observe the bulge of Bones' cock in her neck when it entered her throat. It was purely for medical research. One day I possibly would write a journal paper on the throat's elasticity to accommodate cock entry.
Bones watched with interest as Patricia bobbed up and down. The young woman had made his cock very slick. She took a deep breathe and I sensed something was about to happen.
I peered intently as Patricia took Bones' cock into her mouth then with focus and concentration pushed further. I watched Patricia's lips get closer and closer to his pubic hair until she was, in a sense, kissing the hair. She pulled off and I realized I forgot to look at her throat.
"So Mr. Bones?" asked Patricia. Saliva and pre-cum hung from her lower lip. "What do you think?"
"I think Mr. Harrison is a very fortunate man," answered Bones.
Patricia smiled before going down on him again. This time I looked at her neck and saw the bulge. Bones rubbed her neck to feel his cock inside her.
Patricia was immensely skilled. The delay between each time she took Bones' cock fully down became less and less. She had a steady rhythm in and out of her throat.
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