Renaissance Faire
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Kennedy waited in hungry anticipation. She felt the sweat on her back mixing with the cool air of the air conditioner. She could only hear the soft movements around her, the roar of the air conditioner, or the hum of the butterfly clit stimulator buzz when Lorne pushed the button. Each time bringing her close to an orgasm, but always stopping early. She would fruitlessly hump the air until she felt the sting of the whip across her bare ass, causing her to yelp and whimper.
Her wrists were tied to the headboard of the bed. Her blue eyes were blindfolded, effectively preventing her from seeing anything. The ball gag in her mouth kept her quiet, except for the yelps that escaped when she was spanked. Her long, blonde hair was tied in a French braid and hung over her left shoulder. She was on her knees with a small cushion under her abdomen, helping support her weight. Her breasts hung down, nipples hard and pointing toward the bed below her. She felt the butt plug Lorne had bought just for her, filling her perfectly, stretching her ass for the pending penetration of his cock.
It was their last night together, and Lorne had mentioned to Kennedy that before he left, he was going to enjoy her fine ass. It was clear to her, he was truly a man of his word as she knelt naked, bound, and about to be taken in a way she had only fantasized about. It was an act she never imagined she would ever trust someone enough to perform and therefore never had allowed.
Kennedy thought back on how they met, and the circumstances that lead to this amazing moment in time. It started with a phone call from an unknown number.
"Hello," said Kennedy.
"Kennedy? It's Dawn!" said the woman's voice on the other end.
"Oh hi!" exclaimed Kennedy. "How are you?"
"I'm great," said Dawn, "but I have a problem. Actually, it's my clan who has a problem."
"Your ... clan?"
"Oh right, you have no idea what I do," said Dawn. "I work the Renaissance Faire circuit."
"Okay."
"My clan, the people I work with, are a good bunch of folks. It is our job to serve the food and drinks to the guests."
"Okay."
"So, our barkeep was in a serious car accident and can't work the faire this year. We need an experienced barkeep, desperately."
Kennedy smiled. As a professional bartender, she knew she would be perfect for the job. What Dawn didn't know, was that Kennedy had a secret desire to work at a Renaissance Faire. "Do I need a costume?"
"I'm sure I've got something that might fit you."
"When's the faire?"
"You'll do it?" exclaimed Dawn. "That's great! We start in two weeks. We work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday."
Kennedy realized this schedule would conflict with her regular bartending duties at the bar where she worked. "I didn't say that Dawn, I've got a regular job you know."
"We work during the day," explained Dawn. "I just assumed you worked at night."
"And when I am supposed to sleep?"
"I didn't think about that."
"Let me talk with my boss before I say yes or no."
"Please call back as soon as you can!"
Kennedy called her boss who suggested she use her vacation time to work the faire, so she would eliminate the need for double shifts. She could then take a couple of shifts at the bar during the week so whoever worked her shift during the weekends could have the days off.
Kennedy worked with Dawn and her clan on the costume and dialect needed to be a Renaissance Faire barmaid. For the most part, it was a costume showing a heavy amount of cleavage, with a maroon and gold corset, and full-length, green and blue skirt. The white, off-the-shoulder under-blouse added just the right amount of accent to the costume's top, adding that element of sexy and slutty.
The first day of the faire was the roughest as she wasn't used to the rigorous schedule or the scorching heat. Dawn worked side by side with Kennedy and together they made the best of the situation. As the faire guests left, the faire regulars began filtering into the tavern. One group was clearly Scottish, wearing green tartan kilts and colorful shirts with dark vests. They came in singing loudly, chanting what seemed to be their clan song as they took over a back table.
"Ah, the MacPhallus Clan," giggled Dawn.
"MacPhallus?" asked Kennedy.
"Oh right, we forgot to discuss names. Here, everyone comes up with crazy names. The MacPhallus' are notorious for fucking anything that moves."
"Thanks for the warning."
One of the clan members, a tall handsome man with long auburn hair and a beard, stepped up and said in a thick, Scottish accent, "Round of drinks for me clansmen, wench!"
Kennedy poured the drinks quickly with a smile and said slyly, "Tell me sir, is it true what they say about what Scotsmen don't wear beneath their kilts?"
"Maybe later the wench will find out," he replied with a grin and a wink. She could smell the aroma of Scotch whisky on his breath.
He took the drinks and the party continued. Other members of the faire came in, drank, ate, and hooked up. Many of the members of the MacPhallus clan left with one or more of the women who came in until the only remaining was the man who ordered the drinks. Kennedy and Dawn began cleaning up, putting stock away, and closing the tavern. Kennedy slipped into the back, where they kept stock, to put some items away when she was pinned against a wall of products by a man.
"Still be wantin' to know what be under me kilt, wench?"
Kennedy smiled. "What's in it for me?"
He turned her around. She could see the burning lust in his brown eyes. "A tasty treat if ye be good."
"I'm never good."
"I be countin' on that."
He pushed her down to her knees, then lifted his kilt. Kennedy smiled. "I see the good Lord blessed you, indeed."
"Take it wench and do your best."
"Ye be havin' a name?" she asked.
"Make me cum wench and I be tellin' ya."
Kennedy took his cock into her hand. The soft skin began to tighten as she slid the foreskin back from the head, exposing the purple mushroom head, and licked the tip. The salty precum coated her tongue, fueling her desire, and dampening her pussy.
"Mmm," she purred, "delicious."
He reached down, grabbed the back of her head and pushed her onto his cock. "I told you to make me cum wench, not play around or talk."
He forced his cock into Kennedy's mouth, shoving it deep without care. Kennedy gagged and choked as his cock filled her mouth and throat. He held Kennedy's hair tight and fucked her mouth the way he would fuck a pussy. He pulled out and Kennedy gasped, "What the hell?"
"I said I wanted to cum, wench. Now back to work."
He pushed his cock into Kennedy's mouth and resumed fucking. She never had a man take such control over her, and she found herself enjoying it. She licked and sucked his cock, feeling it grow. Her tongue played with his foreskin, teasing him and making him moan. She was glad the skirt of her dress protected her knees from the hard ground. The air was thick with dust, mixing with his musky aroma, and the faint scent of Scotch whisky and beer.
The feeling of her mouth, teeth, and tongue added to his arousal. "Yes wench! Just a bit more!"
Kennedy sucked, licked, and did her best to make her mystery man cum when she heard, "FUCK!" as his cum filled her mouth, ran down her throat, and leaked out of the edges of her mouth.
He pulled his softened cock from her mouth and smiled. "Me clan-mates call me Shamus, but me real name is Lorne. What be yours?"
"Kennedy."
Lorne slapped her cheek with his softened cock and said, "Tomorrow I be fucking your fine pussy, Kennedy."
Lorne lowered his kilt and left. Kennedy stood up, dusted off her skirt, and returned to the tavern where Dawn was sitting, drinking a beer. "Have fun?"
"Excuse me?" asked Kennedy.
"I just saw Shamus MacPhallus leave. I'm not stupid."
"Yeah," sighed Kennedy, "I had fun."
"Just know he's the biggest man-whore here at the faire. Don't be surprised if he hooks up with someone else tomorrow."
"We'll see."
True to his word, Shamus MacPhallus, or Lorne to Kennedy, returned to the tavern the next evening and met her in the back. "Good evening, me saucy wench."
"Good evening," she said, smiling.
Lorne took Kennedy into his arms and kissed her lips hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth. He grabbed her wrists, holding them tight, then turned her around and tied her hands behind her back. Lifting her skirt, he tucked it in behind her tied wrists, and saw her lace thong panty.
"Tut, tut, tut," he hissed. "Thou art wearing the wrong undergarments."
Kennedy wiggled her ass a little and giggled, "I find these more my style."
"They are quite sexy on ye fine ass," he said, as he slid them out of the way and rammed his hard cock into her pussy.
Just as with the oral, the sex was rough and intense. Occasionally Lorne wrapped his hands around Kennedy's throat, choking her to the point of breathlessness and then releasing. The first time scared Kennedy, but she realized quickly how erotic the sensation was, and she craved more. After her second orgasm, Lorne pulled out and shot his spunk all over her ass.
"Meet me out back tomorrow, wench."
"And if I don't?" she asked.
Lorne put his hand around her throat and said, "Then we be over wench, and I be movin' on."
The next night, Kennedy found Lorne waiting for her under a tree. "I hope you weren't waiting too long," she said.
"Aye wench. But I understand ye have a job to do first."
Lorne led her to a small grassy area where she found a small picnic was set-up. "What's this?"
"I thought me saucy bar wench would like a nice supper," said Lorne.
Kennedy smiled as she sat down. "It's a wonderful idea."
Lorne opened the small cooler and took out two sandwiches and a bottle of wine. He poured Kennedy a glass as he said, "So tell me, lassie, what does the finest bar wench in ye old faire do when she's not here?"
"I'm a regular bartender at a Rocky's Pub. Been there for about seven years. I started as a cocktail waitress and worked my way up."
"So, ye wishes to be a tavern maid?" he asked, handing her the wine and taking a bite of his sandwich.
"No, I want to own the bar ... uh ... I mean tavern."
"How ye planning that?"
"I've been saving my money," she said, eating her sandwich and sipping her wine. "I'm hoping one day in the next few years to have enough to make the down payment in a few more years. I save my tips and anything else I possibly can. Hell, doing this is slowing me down."
"But it tis allowing me to enjoy ye's company."
Kennedy smiled. "Thanks."
They finished their sandwiches, then began kissing. It wasn't long before Kennedy's skirt was up, her panties were off, and Lorne was licking and sucking Kennedy's pussy. The sweet taste mixing with the musky aroma from her sweat fueled his desire and lust for her. His cock ached for the feel of her pussy as he licked and sucked.
Kennedy panted as Lorne worked his magic, making her sweat and squirm. Her mind raced as Lorne licked, sucked, and fingered her pussy. In all her years, no man had made her feel the way he did, especially sexually. She felt the tell-tale warmth of an orgasm growing, but it was not going to be the release she craved. She humped his face and tugged at his hair as his beard scratched her inner thighs and her pussy.
Lorne knew how horny she was and enjoyed denying her the orgasm she craved. When he knew she could take no more, he quickly mounted her, slamming his steel hard cock into her cunt as his mouth kissed hers. She moaned into his mouth as her orgasm raged through her body. He pounded her pussy until her second orgasm took over. He pulled out and jerked his cock, coating her thighs with is cum.
"Aye, such a lovely sight this be," he said.
Kennedy smiled. "Me coated in ye cum?"
"Aye lassie."
Kennedy sat up, wiped his cum off her legs, and slipped her panties back on. "I'd better get going."
"Aye lassie. And I'll be seein' ye next time."
"That ye will," she said, smiling.
From then on, the pair fucked and sucked every night after the faire closed to the public. Each pairing was more intense than the last. Lorne would fuck her mouth and pussy, eat her to orgasm, and much more. Kennedy soon found working the bar between her faire visits made her long for Lorne's touch. Every Friday and Saturday night he would take her in the back room, and on Sunday they would enjoy a nice picnic before he fucked her hard.
During those picnics, Kennedy would share her dream of owning her own bar and even shared some theme ideas she had. He told her which ideas he thought were good, and which ones he felt were bad. For her part, Kennedy learned Lorne had been coming to and involved with the Faire since he was eighteen, and had saved the bulk of his faire earnings. He also shared his sexual past, and how he had earned his reputation for being the faire's top man-whore.
"Before I leave ... I want to fuck ... that fine ass ... of thou ... sweet body," he growled as he fucked her after one of their picnics.
"I've ... never ... well ... that is..." she stammered with each thrust.
"An anal virgin?" he asked, pausing from the deep thrusts.
"Yeah," she gasped and blushed.
With his cock deep inside her pussy, he whispered in her ear, "Then our last night together will be magical. Just promise me I can have ye all night long."
He hammered his cock inside her cunt a few more times before she cried, "Yes! Yes! All night!"
That was how Kennedy found herself bound, gagged, and blindfolded in a motel room. She didn't know Lorne outside of the faire, so she wasn't comfortable with him knowing where she lived. They took his car to a local motel with a headboard he could use to secure her to and so they could fuck their brains out for the night. The butterfly on her clit vibrated, snapping her out of her memories and making her crave the pending fuck up her ass Lorne had promised. The crack of the whip made her whimper.
She felt a hand touch her head. "Does me wench want me to fuck her fine ass now?"
Kennedy nodded as Lorne's fingers softly brushed her skin. She shivered, her skin hypersensitive from the sensory deprivation she'd been experiencing. He grabbed her braid and pulled her head back hard. "Me wench is mine tonight, and whenever I desire."
Kennedy moaned through the gag, "Uh-huh."
"I do wish me wench could join me when I take me leave, but I do understand she cannot," he said, releasing her hair, and gently stroking her shoulder.
The change from harsh to soft was making Kennedy crazy. Her pussy dripped down her legs and onto the bed below her. The faint aroma of her arousal filled the air and made her desire to be fucked and fucked hard grew with every passing moment. She had never experienced such extreme changes with a lover before, and she only wanted more. She tugged at her bonds, desire burning deep within her. Her pussy ached for release, craving the hard fucking Lorne had been giving her the past several weekends.
Lorne slid a velvet ribbon around her neck, laying the rest across her back. Then he gently pulled the butt-plug from her asshole and licked the opening. Through her gag, Kennedy moaned. No man had ever rimmed her before, and until this moment she never thought it was sexy or erotic.
Yet now, the sensation of Lorne's tongue touching her most private of areas made her pussy drip and build the fire deep within her soul. Her pink rosebud puckered and throbbed from the sensation of Lorne's expert tongue lashing. She humped his face until his firm hand struck her bare ass cheek hard.
"Keep still, wench," he growled. "Ye be cumming when I tell ye and not a moment sooner."
Lorne smiled wickedly. He knew she was beyond the moon horny and would do anything for release. He knelt on the bed and took his position behind Kennedy. He smeared lube on his cock and in her asshole. He knew this anal virgin was going to need the extra lubrication despite the stretching she experienced from her butt-plug. He grabbed her hips firmly and pressed the head of his cock against her rosebud.
Kennedy gasped, feeling the lubrication and pending penetration on both her pussy and anus. She questioned the strange sensations and wondered what Lorne was about to do. Kennedy felt his cock pushing, demanding entrance, but she resisted. She was still unsure of this and very scared.
"Just relax, baby," he said in a soothing voice.
Kennedy took a deep breath and relaxed her resistance just enough for the intruder to pass her sphincter ring and into her rectum. The sensations she felt were nothing she expected or had ever experienced before. The foreign visitor in her ass made initially squeal with surprise, then pant with desire. It was a new feeling for Kennedy, but there was also something hard in her pussy as well.
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THE BEST STAND AT THE WEDDING FAIR by Angela Dee North PROLOGUE "Listen, Bridie, I said I was sorry! What more can I do?" I was in the doghouse with my wife yet again. I'd completely forgotten to collect a parcel from the Post Office depot. Now it was too late. The depot had closed an hour ago, and Bridie had wanted the parcel today. "For god's sake, Terry!" she fumed. "You know perfectly well how much I needed that mannequin for the show tomorrow! It was going to be...
Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited. Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address. --- Sarah Carerra Book 3 - Concerto in A- By Megan Campbell (Released: March 12, 2012) Chapter 7 - The Great Allentown Fair A small jolt jarred me awake on Saturday morning. I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock; it was only 7:36. For a moment I wondered what was...
Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited. Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address. --- Sarah Carerra By Megan Campbell (Released: August 1, 2011) Chapter 47 - The Indiana State Fair On Tuesday, Dad awakened me much earlier than I wanted to start the day. I whined while climbing out of the bed in my room of our suite, and headed for the bathroom to start...
This is my first story, please let me know what you think Growing up I was a nerd. Living on the east coast of Florida most of my classmates were more interested in the wave forecast while I focused on atomic weights and the possibilities that black holes really existed. This is not to say that I was all study and no fun, I looked forward to the weekly game of Dungeons and Dragons. Being a nerd and more introverted than even most of those I had few friends. Okay, I had two people that I would...
Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited. Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address. --- Sarah Carerra By Megan Campbell (Released: June 20, 2011) Chapter 41 - The Mid-State Fair I woke up the next morning already feeling a slight buzz of excitement. The last day of July would also be the first day of my debut concert tour. I still couldn't believe how...
I had been wandering about the Clark County Fair enjoying the show that two and a half years of waiting for the Sa'arm had brought into being. The girls were dressed in next to nothing and occasionally less. I'd missed the Fair last year when my wife died and I was finding that wandering the Fair without her wasn't quite as much fun even though there was even more skin than when I was here last. I'm not sure when I first noticed them. It probably wasn't too long before my internal alarms...
Introduction: This story was written for my wife to enhance our sex life. This story fulfills her fantasys. It was our first time going to the Renaissance Fair in Dallas and we were both excited. We arrived wearing traditional renaissance clothing. My wife was a winch wearing a tight leather corset that lifted her boobs up high and me as a noblemen. We went to see the shows and buy new additions to our outfits. Everything at the fair has a sexual undertone and that is why we both liked it. We...
Every year there is the country fair held in August, not far from where I live. It was very popular and I had been going to it for the last few years. There was always a lot to do and plenty of displays of handicrafts, and home baked goods (which were always great) as well as veggies and flowers to be judged. Last year they had a kissing booth and the proceeds went to the community. The theme had been very interesting, the girl dressed up like a southern belle straight out of “Gone with the...
Quickie Sex"Honey, I'm home!" Richard yelled, closing the front door behind him. He'd lucked out and gotten the day off early and wanted to surprise his wife, Helen. When he didn't hear a reply right away, he walked up the stairs toward their bedroom. Puzzled, he looked down and saw a bra laying on the ground, as if it had been stripped off and discarded there. Down the hall he could hear some sexy music coming from the bedroom. Richard smiled to himself, remembering the last time this had...
Three summers ago I visited a fair in Florida and ran into a frisky mare that wanted to play. I’d been into mares for quite some time, and usually could figure out when they wanted to mate. Sometimes, though, they took me by surprise, and they became the aggressor. The air was humid and it was hot at the large fair. There were many rides and exhibits, and I wandered around most of the day taking in the sights. I ambled into the stable area and checked out the livestock, then went to the...
It was mid summer and the fun fair was in town!The lodger had promised me a trip to the fair so i waited patiently looking out the window for him to arrive home from work, My heart pounded as i saw him arrive! i sat quietly as he entered the house and went upstairs to wash and get ready, time ticked by as i was very excited and could not wait to go and finally he came down stairs and said are you ready! I said yes and off we went for the 20 minute walk to the fair but this time it took a little...
I once went to my village just to attend a local fair. What I didn’t know was that my fate was going to take a turn. On the 2nd day at fair, I bumped across a local girl called Anjali, who didn’t seem local at all, from the figure from looks from outfit. She had kept herself in touch with the town. Our eyes met. She was tall curvy, brown eyes and heavenly sexy. She was wearing a bra I could clearly figure out. Then she had a top and jeans. Our hands touched our eyes met, and we smiled at each...
I woke up at four-thirty with a tear trickling from my eye. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I love you still, Rhonda. Rose kissed the tear and whispered, "I know, love." She held me tightly and we went back to sleep. Did I say that out loud? Seven naked girls served Rose and me breakfast in bed. We were surrounded by love. Each of our girlfriends stretched out beside us and kissed us. I took one last opportunity to fondle Cassie and hear her sigh before she gave way to Nicki....
We walked up to a jewelry shack with a couple in there early 30's were working and started looking at the necklace's. We started talking about how crazy people at the fair can get and they told us that is nothing compared to what happens after hours when everyone else goes home. All of the workers camp out at night they told us. Jim and Stacy were married and traveled around to the different fair grounds selling there merchandise. Jim was a good looking man and his wife Stacy was a buxom...
"What? Oh, yea..." I replied. We were walking to the entrance of the county fair. Ready for a wild and fun night. I had just spotted a guy across from me walking to the entrace opposite us. He was about 5'7, athletic body from what I could tell. Black hair, brown eyes. After my friend and I had walked into the fair, he said, "Hey man, you see that guy over there? Hes been staring at you for like, the past fifteen minuetes." I followed his finger past the concession stand we...
A note from the author: This story was inspired by a song of the same title. Special kudos as always to michchick98, my editor, along with baddaddy42 for introducing that song to me. To my readers, thanks for reading me, I hope you enjoy! * An early morning rap upon the door awakened Padraig from a sound sleep. ‘Ah bloody hell, who could it be at this ungodly hour? The roosters are still asleep for Christ sake.’ Sleepily, he shuffled to the door and opened it. It was then he remembered...
"It's just not fair." From the tone of her friend's voice, Claire Davis knew Jan was only half-joking. "What's not fair?" They were in Claire's cramped, one-person dorm room, preparing tuna fish au gratin on rye toast for supper. "It's not fair that you actually met a good-looking single guy under ninety on that geriatric unit disguised as an ophthalmology ward." Jan was in the midst of opening a large can of tuna fish. "And while you're spending the summer of '70 making out with this 'Nam vet,...
Reluctance"It's just not fair." From the tone of her friend's voice, Claire Davis knew Jan was only half-joking. "What's not fair?" They were in Claire's cramped, one-person dorm room, preparing tuna fish au gratin on rye toast for supper. "It's not fair that you actually met a good-looking single guy under ninety on that geriatric unit disguised as an ophthalmology ward." Jan was in the midst of opening a large can of tuna fish. "And while you're spending the summer of '70 making out with this 'Nam vet,...
ReluctancePlease email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited. Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address. --- Sarah Carerra Book 3 - Concerto in A- By Megan Campbell (Released: May 14, 2012) Chapter 14 - L.A. County Fair I had mixed feelings when I awakened on Saturday morning. On one hand, it was a concert day and I always enjoyed performing for a crowd. But on the other hand...
My heart full thanks to all my readers who enjoyed my story and posted their comments. I am really surprised and happy to inform that so many females had now started commenting on their desires and internal fantasies. Most of the time it were Husbands only who want o know more or want to try new things but slowly trend is getting changed as more couples are feeling that they can make a big difference and can enjoy lot of new things if they are ready to give it a try. For all the readers who are...
A childless married women journey to become a business woman in her quest to get her own child containing adult content. This is a story of a woman Zeenat who told me this story when I met her in the course of her business and with some added imagination, a combination of reality and fantasy which contains adult content including prostitution, exploitation, virginity, voyeurism, exhibitionism, CFNM, masturbation, consumption of alcohol, public sex, vaginal fingering, cum eating, anal sex ,...
I'm a high school senior in a small town on the east coast. My father is the vice-principal of our school and extremely strict. Because of this I wasn't the most popular girl in the class. At home my father was just as strict with me. My clothes were always out of date. My skirts long with loose fitting blouses and sweaters. The friends I did have were always trying to get me to try on make-up and wear clothes more in style. Mini-skirts were the rage but my father would expel any girl wearing...
[If you're trying to read these stories in their intended chronological order, this one occurs after Dots and Dashes of Color 9.] Every year for the past twenty or so, I've volunteered one day to the local City-Wide High School Science Fair. As a technologist, I enjoy seeing the innovations the students come up with. As an eternal lecher, I enjoy checking out the young ladies, dressed up to make a good impression with the judges. The event was held in the corner of a huge museum. All of...
It was Friday afternoon when Mr Weatherby called me into his office and asked me if I would like to cover a Medieval Fair that is held once a year, on Saturday, at a nearby town. I was to take the camera crew and record the day’s events, my contact and the person that would be our guide was called Lorenzo. This was to be my first real assignment and I promised Mr Weatherby that he would not be disappointed and I would do whatever it took to cover the whole event. He looked at me and said...
Our State Fair recently took place and I was surprised at what took place. While looking at all of the booths and activities, I saw a motorhome that had a big sign on it that said “Prostate Cancer”. Being a male in college, I was curious about it. I was greeted by a woman who gave me some literature and told me I could get a free blood test and exam if I filled out a questionnaire. The questionnaire was very easy to fill out, and it asked me a lot of questions about going to the bathroom at...
FetishNot Always Fair By Julie O Contains Characters from The Julieverse- Vengeance is Bittersweet Chapter 1 "So what the hell happened?" asked Brian Buford as he stepped out of his car. The police officer looked around as if to see if anyone was listening. "Your son was in an accident," replied the cop. "A drunk driver drove across the medium and ploughed into your son's car." "Is...