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I've gotta tell you - I don't get mind control, I really don't.

I mean, all these stories are all pretty silly wish- fufillment, reflecting most people's desperate pathtic fantasies to dominate others in the only safe non threatening enviorment, that they have, namely - their imaginations! (laughter) Now I'm not picking on you poor clods (male and female) who read this garbage and actually are sad anough to get aroused by it, really I'm not.

Unless the above paragraph describes you to a tee. grin

Nope, It's just that in real life, these things just don't happen. There no way in hell I'd sexually surrender myself to some stupid dildo over the internet. Why? Why in god's name would anyone take that risk ? Hell, you'd have to be a fucking moron to be caught dead even reading, let alone writing stories about some poor smuck humiliating another person sexually, right?

So, the Idea of this whole mind control stuff is embarrassingly juvinal and increadibly stupid waste of anyone's time and energy.

This is why I'm confused about my reaction...

... when She appeared.

In my e-mail box, that is. Now I've HAD cyber sex before. And, I'll amit it, I'd written a handful of... uh... somewhat erotic humiliation stories. (weak smile) But most of my email flings have had the same problem we ALL nebies discover when having sexual "one night stands" on the net...

Cyber sex, for all it's reputation... just It doesn't last.

The THRILL of dangerous and forbiden email lust quickly evaporates within a few weeks and your BOTH find yourself bored with each other, until you eventually just stop writing all together. It's kinda like that feeling you get in real life, when you realize you've rushed into sex before you've built up a regular relationship, and are left with the Casual Sex Blues! (don't worry, I wont burst into song)

Well, that all changed one day when SHE wrote me.

Yeah Her.

There are few people in my life that have inspired the PURE hatred and CONTEMPT I've felt for this woman! It seems no matter WHAT names She'd call me, spit at me, throw on me, or other foul repulsive descriptions through e-mail I can't even bring myself to describe... for SOME ungodly reason I can't even begin to explain...

... I kept writing back to Her.

Every - fucking - time!

This was puzzeling since I generally laugh in people's faces. There's pratically nobodies papper thin bravado I can't destroy in a matter of seconds with a few well placed targets of blistering insight. The more they blow off, the sweeter it is watching them fall! Now, I'm not a people hater, really. These poor dopes are just ASKING for trouble, taking on a gal like me!

So, what's the deal with THIS woman?

I mean, I don't even LIKE the bitch, let alone find Her atractive! That's what's so... weird... why some gal who's makes me so angry could push my buttons so...

The little cunt! I remember when She first wrote I was involved with several "masters" as they insipidly insisted on being called. When She spoke, and I knew instantly She was different. I felt that odd... feeling... you know the one you get, when you,... well...

You know. (embarrassed smile)

Pure magnitism, I guess! (confussed shrug) Only She was a REPELANT magnet, not an atractant believe me!!! I instantly hated Her smug tone, and her arrogently smirking that I'd soon be so hung up over her degredation, that I'd be flooding her email with revealing photos of myself and pathtic declerations of my love for her in endless letters, all of which She'd throw away. This didn't even piss me off, it was so absurd. Yeah, right. Love letters, let alone Pictures??? Good luck sweetie.

Then came her insulting assumtion that I was "into" kitty litter because I wrote about it in a story once. That I was a pathtic little closet dyke because I wrote about that too (okay, I AM a lesbian, but that's neither here nor there!) AND I hated that She snifed out one of my little games of pretending to be other people over the net- and busted me!!! At least I had other email masters I could more easily maniuplate! But She soon realised I wasn't writing Her enough, because I was messing around with other masters, so She promptly made me give up these other masters, and only serve, the bitch!!!

I hated doing that too! Do you know how degrading that was? Hurting those other guys and gals feelings like that, let along how insipid it made ME look. JUST who did this ASSHOLE think She WAS anyways??????

I know, I could have lied right? She really know, would She? I would be the only one who knew I was shiting Her. Only me. She said if I did lie, it would knaw at my gut, drive me crazy, this inner disobedience to Her, or really to myself, (as She'd come to explain)

Okay, just for laughs, I promised She was the only one (blah,blah,blah) and went along my merry way fucking e-mal affairs and "masters" like mad!!! Who CARES if She says I'm only fooling myself if I lie to Her. Who cares if, right after reading Her comments, it brings me to mind numming tears and makes me feel like a little pool of shit!

It's only for that single moment that I'm weak and hate myself, it's not who I really am normaly! I only continue it as a game. She's an amusment, that's all. I'm using Her! Sure, when I'm... a little... er... amused*... I'll agree to ANYTHING. I even bought that instimatic camera She sugested I buy. But I wake up and fight back like mad the next e-mail, provong Her totally fucking WRONG by calling Her every name in the book!!!

And It's NOT a little girl's spoiled tantrum, believe you me!!!!!

Afterwords She'd calmly wait for me to finish during these bouts where I would rear up on my hind quarters and ball Her out, then firmly instruct me how I'd eventually regrets speaking to Her and soon be apologizing through my tear, and condesendingly describe what I would be doing in a few hours to worm my way back into Her good graces. (read: crotch)

She'd next remind me that I was doing all this (writing to Her) volentary,and not coerced,(furthering my embarrasment) and that the harder I fought, the stupider I'd feel eating crow in my next email, especially after I agreed to shove my punishment object inside myself.

Do you know how hard it is to walk around with something up you at work all day? The fantasy is ONE thing, but in real life, it can get you sore, believe you me! It's embarrassing if I don't keep reminding myself that She's really just a puppet, and I'm really the one in charge here! He's just an excuse for me to explore this weird side of myself, right? True, I probably wouldn't have come up with something quite like... this... (shifting uncompfortably in my seat while writing this) up my... er...

Well,Okay,... whoever's Idea it is, mine or Hers...

... is STIL piss me off. (fusterated sigh)

I would FUME over doing exactlly as instruced by this stupid arrogent full of herself bitch, and rush home to soak up every word She dribbeled out. You know what She called me once? Human waste. Can you Image? I just stared at the email for minutes, numbed my her words. What my fingers traveled next is purely irevelant.

The point was, it hurt. Really hurt.

The woman was hurting me, deeply inside. Why did I keep reading and confirming my worthlessness with each email I opened? I wiped my tears defencively as I thew her email in the trash, only to retrive it (as I'd done countless time before) afterword and save it with the others. What inside myself kept me coming back for more, despite my growing rage and anger? Some part of me knew this was a sick relationship. That I was sick for encourging it.

But... as disparaging and insulting She was on my very worth as a person and woman, I inhaled each email from Her like it was PURE oxegen!

Then I wake up next morning, guilt and shame catching up with me, full of self loathing anger for what I'd aloowed myself to sink to, for the woman who was laughing and who I meant nothing to, but for whom was fast becoming the focus of my life.

Then I'd write Her back, sharing my most depraved and lurid sexual fantasies with as much emotional honesty and sincerity as I could, hoping derperately for Her approval, yet strangly more and more sustained by Her cruel emotional insults and condesending jokes about of me than any positive regard!!! I HAD to keep Her aroused or amused, cause if She wasn't turned on, She wasn't happy - and THEN She'd dump me, and I didn't know how I'd survive without Her cruel insight into how worthless I really was and the how Her sick names and hatred of me mirrored my secret feelings!

It's like...

... like, deep down, She knew who I REALLY was. It made me wanna cry with gratitude. And It was like a damned drug, and I only felt warm and compleate when I could feel Her warm brown verbal wast dripping down my head and hugging my naked worthless shoulders and dripping pussy!!!

I took some photos of myself in a drunken haze of lust as a possible surprise present for Her, then became disgusted looking at them afterwords, at the leangthes I'd go, risking these dumb things showing up some day to forever haunt me over a fucking moment of lust for some one I didn't even know. No. It wasn't worth it. My letters would have to sufice. I cried in shame as I masterbated to the pictures of myself, and how low I'd sunken, then burned them and tossed the ashes in the garbage, thankful thatFINALLY I did have some bottom line.

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He was a sucker for the Christmas season and Levall did the holiday right. Downtown had a lighting program for the trees. Stores decorated their windows and the streetlights sported various holiday figures on brackets. Scott spent a ridiculous amount on strings of lights to surround his windows. Maybe the ridiculous thing was how much pleasure he got out of watching the light patterns. He bought a small tree because a big one felt desperate. Next door, the Black Horse was doing gangbuster...

Human ManChapter 32

History 303, History of the Roman Empire, was not well attended, but that meant plenty of available seats. Scott nodded to a classmate and dropped his backpack beside his chair. At six weeks in, with ten to go, the original enrollment of twenty-five students had dwindled by half. He thought it was a good class, but the professor was notoriously tough. His phone chirped with a text message and Scott scrambled to silence it. One guaranteed way to get on the professor's bad side was to get...

Human Relations Officer

I took this job because it was in the city and it would give me a chance to find an apartment and move out on my husband, who hasn't touched me in over two years. I finally got to the point I was tired of being his maid, for absolutely no benefits and this company was perfect. It is an Architectural Design and Engineering Company with only four people employed there. Three men and one woman, the owner, his daughter who is an architect, the younger man who was also an architect and the third man...

Welcome to the wasteland

The irradiated waters felt cold against scales as I bathed in the radioactive lake. Though I was immune to the effects of radiation the waters always felt dirty and full of grime and impurities. Despite my best efforts to maintain good hygene, out here in the wastes you never stayed clean for long. Life was that much harder because of my traits.For I was half a man and dragon, I wouldent call myself a mutent but other than that, I dont know what I'd be called. Thier is a few bonuses to...

Bondage in the urban wasteland

It wasn’t easy to find the right spot – but I looked and looked – it had to be perfect: industrial, abandoned, out in the open, yet secluded. Finally, after three days of driving endlessly through the wasteland of closed factories, chemical plants and cavernous assembly lines at the edges of our metropolis, I found it: a drainage ditch stretching itself from an old tannery long since abandoned. At the head of the ditch, which was about eight feet deep, was a series of iron railings and several...

Women of the Wasteland

You were pretty young when the bombs fell. In the years leading up to the apocalypse, the world was ravaged by the Masculum Plague, a deadly disease that wiped out 99% of the male population. What followed was a total societal collapse. When the dust settled, women inherited the Earth. America, once controlled by a powerful patriarchy, is now a lawless wasteland dominated by leather-clad women, raiders and mutants. While raiders seized control of the land, you lived in a cramped bunker with...

Surviving the Wasteland

At the height of the 21st century, mankind believed he was destined for greatness and was years away from going to mars. While sources of unlimited energy seemed to be at the brink of society. That was before the bombs fell. Wiping out every major world power and leaving those left alive to suffer for years and years... Generations have passed; no one left alive remembers the days of the bombs dropping. The world is a different place. Most land that at one point had lush forests or snow-covered...

The Capital Wasteland

War, war never changes... During the year 2077 there was a nuclear fallout. Most of the United States was reduced to a giant wasteland filled with survivors, ruins, and mutants. Fortunately for some, they had signed onto the Vault-tec program. a program that promised that in case of nuclear war, that people and their families would be safely tucked away in giant underground bunkers, called vaults. All the vaults were designed in specific ways, one might have a faulty water chip, one might be...

More Than a Handful is Not Wasteful

With the online easy hookup board now censored, my P4P has been more challenging. I reverted to some old numbers on the off chance that someone had picked up the hook up number. Hit it lucky about the sixth call. Could not recall what she looked like, but she said I was repeat so she said "Come on over" after she asked if I really liked her type. Of course my little head was screaming yes, so I said I did. She texted me an address, and it was in an apartment complex close to downtown. I had not...

More than a Handful is Not Wasteful

With the online easy hookup board now censored, my P4P has been more challenging. I reverted to some old numbers on the off chance that someone had picked up the hook up number. Hit it lucky about the sixth call. Could not recall what she looked like, but she said I was repeat so she said “Come on over” after she asked if I really liked her type. Of course my little head was screaming yes, so I said I did. She texted me an address, and it was in an apartment complex close to downtown. I had not...

Humans and Homesteads

You live in the modern day world! There are no flying cars or dragons, no, simply look out your window if you want to imagine what the lay of the land is for this story. One key note and important distinction: your universe has been altered for some reason! Women are more prevalent than men, splitting it 70% to 30% and in your high school specifically the ratio is more like 80% to 20%! What a strange plot devi- I mean, “phenomenon”… You are 18 years old and attend the local public high school....

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