The Private Dick free porn video

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My name is Vladimir Sackov. I am a private detective, better known as a private dick. Naturally, in your mind's eye, you can picture me. I am tall, athletic, with a handsome face. I wear designer clothes. I am clearly well off, witty, smart, suave, and a hit with the ladies.

Your mind's eye needs glasses. Really strong ones. It could not be more wrong if it tried. I am 5 feet, eleven inches ... Not short, to be sure, but not exactly tall either. Although I am an unusually strong man, I weigh around 300 lbs. That is largely fat, too. Hard rubbery fat, but fat. A good description is I look like a football player who barely failed to make the professional scene, and spent the years crying over a mountain of beer cans about it. I didn't, but it gives you an idea.

I look harried. My hair is a dark blonde, long and bushy, very full. Beatle's type. Except it is usually unkempt. I never comb it. I have a beard that is the product of not shaving. I trim it, but not often enough for it to look anything but rough. I never shape it. Sometimes there is food in it, but I try to avoid that, albeit with limited degrees of success.

Despite my size, my head still looks large on my body. I have a broad face; I tend to smile a lot off the job. I have the laughter wrinkles that come with that. I have a smallish stubby nose that has been broken several times and looks it. I have brown/green eyes, somewhat small. Despite their dark shade, I am extremely light sensitive and keep them half closed during the day. It makes me look stupid. I look like a retard if I let my mouth hang open. It really creates a good effect for my job, too.

Nor am I a fashionable dresser. In the warm months, I wear a t-shirt, as often as not a tatty one, and often-faded swim-type shorts. You know the kind I mean, they look like swim shorts but aren't lined. In the winter I wear a similar t-shirt, sweat pants or athletic pants in equally tatty condition, and one of a number of old and rarely washed jackets and sweatshirts. I shower a scant few times a week and often smell.

I am not gonna try and rationalize this. The main reason I do it is I am not, by nature, a neat person. I do not exist to impress people, and in the rare event that I try to, it is with my mind, not my clothing. New clothes, especially "good" new clothes, cost money I'd rather not spend, especially on something I don't care much about. My wife has an aversion to being under running water, and ever since we started showering together, I hated showering alone. So we shower together a few times a week.

I am not, however, going to tell you that it does not help my job. It definitely does. I admit that my appearance and ... obnoxiousness has turned off a few clients. But I generally pose as a bum on the job, and wearing cheap clothes, smelling, and looking unkempt goes very well with that cover.

Naturally, I love the excitement of my job. I love the hard work, the gunfights, the thrill of solving a murder, of getting a crook behind bars. I solve difficult cases the police are too incompetent to handle. I get all the damsels in distress; I right the wrongs of society. Countless evildoers are behind bars because of my selfless heroic actions.

Yeah, you can mark that down as bullshit, too. That isn't what private dicks do. I do a worthless job, and do it for a very low rate an hour. It is low-pay, and frankly a bottom of the barrel worthless job. I tail women. That's what I do. That's what most private dicks do. I tail them for their husbands, looking for proof of infidelity. I get pictures. I testify at divorce proceedings. It is the most boring thing you can imagine.

I hate my job. No, I wasn't under the common misconception that my job would be an exciting life of crime solving, hot women, car chases, and gunfights. I knew the basic elements of the job. What I wanted to do was prove husbands wrong. I was hoping to mend relationships, help people, restore trust and love into a marriage. When the wife was cheating, well, she deserved what she got, I figured.

I really had no idea the sick depths to which people go. It really lowered my opinion of people, doing these jobs for the past 20 years or so. So many men thought it was great to brag about what they were doing. See, they had a vague feeling their wife might be cheating on them. They themselves had a woman they loved on the side. They wanted to find evidence of adultery to make the divorce "cost less".

It sickened me, to know that was the motive. But that wasn't the worst part. Oh no, the worst part was that some, perhaps 20%, did or didn't think their wife was cheating, but that didn't matter. They wanted me to catch them cheating. They wanted me to toss them into a compromising situation. They either wanted me to drag them there somehow, or had hired someone to bring them to that point. At first I turned down the jobs, but the income of a private dick is not such that you can reject work.

The fucking bastards. Some of these cases, the wives were being faithful. They'd never cheat on their husbands. They loved them. They were led into these situations. In one case, the man hired actually raped them! It was often at least somewhat against their will. They wanted pictures, forged evidence, whatever they could get, to try and make sure the woman, their wife for God's sake, would get nothing in the divorce proceedings.

My feelings on human beings were ... they were sick. How could you do that? Cheating is wrong. It is the worst thing you can ever do, to my mind, perhaps worse than murder. "I love you, I want to marry you." Sacred words. "I love you..." I want you, I need you, you are special to me, you are the best person in the world for me. I trust you, trust me too. Be with me forever.

I'm married. I love my wife with all my heart. First off, other women simply don't interest me. Love, for me, is central to the pleasure of sex. It is pleasure derived from shared love, shared pleasure, shared need. I don't love other women. They don't interest me in bed- what's the point? I can get myself to an orgasm with my left hand. Fucking someone I don't love or care about is about the same level of value. Fall in love with someone else? It's not happened, but it could I guess. But to have sex with them would break promises and greatly hurt the person I love more than anything else. No. Fucking. Way.

Second, there is a level of trust between us. I care about her. I could never do anything that might hurt her. And breaking someone's heart, as me cheating would surely do, is the worst hurt you can inflict on them. I'd chop my dick off first. Third, nobody could possibly be better for me than my wife. We have a mixture of problems and unusual assets that just mesh together like a jigsaw puzzle.

But what if the impossible happened, what if I fell for someone else? My love for her died. Well, what the fuck. Just by nature of the love and affection and need we had once had, and the fact that we had spent the past 25 years of our life together, would I feel obligated to give what I could. She would be the innocent person hurt. She deserves her fair share of our assets and money. She deserves to be kept in the minds of the world as the pure and honest person she had always been. Even if the love died, my sense of obligation would make sure of that.

Who the fuck do these bastards think they are? How dare they do this to their wives? It would make me cry, I'd tell Annie about what had happened, and we'd cry each other to sleep. One day, I knew, I'd get back at them. I'd make one of these assholes pay through every fucking orifice of their rotten, overweight body.

I did make decent money for my profession. I had a technique that made my tailing almost untraceable. Its called the lamp post effect. Do you notice the lamp posts outside your home? I didn't think you really did. It's always there, so you stop seeing it. I worked in Philadelphia. There are a lot of bums in Philly. When it came to tailing the subject, I'd take a week of prep first. I'd sit myself outside their normal haunt, sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a building.

I'd let the local police know of my purpose; life was easier that way. I'd sit there for a week with a cheap gin bottle, filled with water. I'd use it as a cologne in the morning, real gin. I'd become a fixture of that area, a local drunk bum. After a week, the subject would stop seeing me. Then I would start shadowing them. They would never notice me. Shadows don't stumble around drunk, singing in an awful, drunken lilt. I do.

Sometimes I'd make sure they knew I was there, and perhaps make them know I was following them. It's hiding in plain sight. Yeah, I'm following you. But I am not keeping an eye on you for your husband. Fuck no. No way. They'd go running straight to their place of assignation, right into their lover's arms, scared shitless of me.

Usually, the place of assignation remains the same, I have found. Once I knew where it was, I'd stake myself out nearby. Sometimes it was easy to get evidence. It was as simple as photographing through a window. Sometimes, it was not so easy. I'd use technology for it.

Infrared imaging, photographing them and then shooting an IR video of them walking up the stairs, into the bedroom, and of their lovemaking. Sometimes, the building wouldn't be good for that kind of work. I'd try to do it from the hall. Several times, I climbed the fire escape and broke in through the balcony, or such, when the set up made it ideal to do so without discovery. The important thing was having the evidence fall down on the cheater in court like a ton of bricks.

I did good work, and I am paid by the hour, and I took a lot of hours to do it. I was pretty well known. I liked that I did my job well- who wouldn't? But I hated the work. I hated it with a passion I just couldn't explain. I went into this to fix marriages. I found myself destroying them 9 times out of 10. The only good times were those rare times when I found no evidence of cheating.

It was such a pleasure to have someone tell me to cut off the job, they were satisfied that their wife was faithful to them. I revel in the few times that I found notes or gifts, with profuse thanks for helping them save their marriage. They had to know for sure, and now they did.

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Gunther The Reindeer Handler Does Candy Claus

Let me say right up front that Gunther was definitely not a young man.I knew he had been around the Santa operation at the North Pole long before I arrived with my bright ideas for cost reduction. I was called in to promote increased toy production by the easily distracted Elves. Those little imps preferred being silly rather than busy little workers focused on their quotas like dedicated employees. As a small-sized human male, I was able to relate easily to the female Elves because they liked...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi
2 years ago
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Absinthe Seduction

from my supernatural~romantic novel set in Regency England from the diary of Betsy Corning, Darlington, England, September 1815 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am undone! I have given into temptation and trod the left-hand path. I did not tarry there long, I yet have a semblance of a conscience. But little good will it do me – I will be punished for it sooner or later. But oh, should any ladies read this, perhaps you, at least, will understand what provocation I had endured and grant me some...

3 years ago
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EstherChapter 3

When we entered the dining salon, all conversation stopped. I had changed from my travel clothes earlier, but was still in black. Esther was in a peach colored evening gown. As I said before, she was ravishing. Martha and Hatty walked behind us in their evening gowns. It was plain that everyone wondered who this girl was with the Royal Executioner and the Guild Master for companions. Certainly most of the apprentices and the other Guild members had not met, or been introduced to Esther. None...

2 years ago
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EstherChapter 2

“Are the statements, that the Lord Executioner made, true?” the Village Chief demanded sternly. “Yes, Un ... Uncle,” the young man finally answered very quietly. “A week in the stocks,” the Village Chief pronounced, “and the same for those two friends of yours.” The Village Chief then turned to me to apologize. “I am sorry I doubted you, Lord Executioner. It would appear that I need to pay closer attention to what is going on with the workers in the fields.” “An excellent idea,” I replied,...

1 year ago
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Theresas Deportment

"Language Theresa!" "But Mrs. Bradshaw, I only said..." "Hush Theresa, I will not have such rude vernacular spoken in my boarding house! Also, kindly remove your elbows from the tabletop. More over, the fork was placed on the left side of your plate for a specific reason." Theresa blushed as she looked around at the other five girls, some of them putting on airs. "I never ate before with my left hand Mrs. Bradshaw." "You are a student now in the most prestigious Ladies College in...

2 years ago
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Esther III

Esther III ? by: TamarainRubber Even though we knew we were going to be late for Lisa's party, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. For the next hour or so we grabbed each other like wild cats in heat. Her breasts heaving and her lungs gasping for oxygen, Esther still found the energy to warn me not to cum. At some point she did pull my cock out from behind my rubber bloomers and shoved every inch into her mouth. The clothes she had dressed me in only made me harder and,...

3 years ago
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Katherines Style Part Two

The next day I was in full Katherine mode from the moment I unlocked her door. I greeted Sunshine just like Katherine did, using the same tone of voice and gestures. Of course Sunshine reacted just she would with her female owner. As soon as I took her for a short walk and fed her, I went straight to my bedroom, well after the prior day I felt so much more comfortable there, I wanted it to be my bedroom. I took a shower and shaved everything again. I didn't know how I was going to...

1 year ago
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Esther IV

Hope you like Esther's latest installment! ESTHER FOUR By TamarainRubber I obediently followed Esther down the long narrow hallway that led into an enormous room filled with the sounds of clinking glasses, soft whispers and a bevy of leather-clad women and men dolled up as maids, rubber babies, and crossdressing sluts like me. Strangely enough (and very much to my pleasure), there was little if any evidence of the S&M parties I had only read about, but never...

2 years ago
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Katherines Style Part 3

The front door opened and again Frank came in, a little less dramatically than the day before but no less intimidating to me as I felt timid and weak dressed in my mother-in-laws things. Frank was half expecting me to be dressed as my normal slouchy male self, ready to put a stop to all this, but he was happy when he saw I didn't have the fortitude to do that. He actually smiled at me, "There's my little wife. That dress looks nice on you." I smiled back not knowing what to do, it...

3 years ago
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Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

Caroline dumped her books so loudly on the table that it caused Mike to look up momentarily from his laptop.“Hi, Caroline, I take it the tutorial didn’t go so well?”Caroline slumped onto the chair opposite him.“The pompous bitch basically told me to start again.”“Look I know nothing about art, I don’t even know what I like, but I do know that you know your stuff. Why don’t I get you a drink and we can talk about something else.”As Mike placed the two pints of beer down on the table, Caroline...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi
3 years ago
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Esther stone

Esther sat on the side of the road, freezing, she feared that if she didn't find a place to stay soon, she probably freeze to death.Lately life had been pretty fucked up for Esther, both her parents had die before she could barley talk, and this year she had run away, because her foster parents were abusive.She had no one now, and was stranded on the side of the road. Esther picked herself off of the ground and started walking again, until a huge house came in sight. "Warmth." She said, she was...

2 years ago
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Esther Stone part 2

When Esther had woken up the next morning laying next to Romeo, she almost freaked out, but the all of the memories from the night before flooded into her brain."Oh god." She sat up and looked at Romeo's sleeping figure next to her, his teal hair was tossed about the pillow, and he chest heaved up and down, Damn he is so hot, she thought, I acted kind of crazy last night, her face burned, ugh, what the fuck was wrong with her these days? She felt Romeo's body shift a little and her heart sped...

4 years ago
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Esther II

Esther II By TamarainRubber I had found the woman I had been dreaming about, hoping she would be my lover for years to come. Esther was the first real lady I had encountered who actually seemed to be honest about wanting to share my passions. I prayed that I would not be disappointed. From how she reacted, I didn't think I would be, but I was the planet's biggest skeptic. For the past four hours, Esther made me try on an incredibly sexy collection of female fetish wear that...

3 years ago
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Athena Goddess of Wisdom

Chapter 1 – The Birth of a Goddess Zeke cracked his knuckles and spread out his fingers. They touched the black glass in front of him and the desk lit up. A white keyboard appeared and he started to type on the touchscreen desktop. His fingers bounced around the screen, typing across the keyboard of light. You see, Zeke was a genius beyond his years. He was currently eighteen and in his second year of college. His masterful mind crossed with a youth of video games made him into one of the...

4 years ago
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ThesisChapter 21 Private Investigations

Corinne and Jo are watching Jenny's sexual torment on the monitor fed by the camera in her cell. "What do you think we should do, Corrine?" Jo says. "Do you think she is actually researching us? It could equally be some sort of put up job by some of the tabloid press." "Hmmm, well Fifty will not be the last person to try to capitalise on her experiences, I'm sure," Corinne responds. "On the other hand again, if she has organised her visit was solely as part of a research project and...

1 year ago
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Theresas Deportment

"Language Theresa!" "But Mrs. Bradshaw, I only said. ..." "Hush Theresa, I will not have such rude vernacular spoken in my boarding house! Also, kindly remove your elbows from the tabletop. More over, the fork was placed on the left side of your plate for a specific reason." Theresa blushed as she looked around at the other five girls, some of them putting on airs. "I never ate before with my left hand Mrs. Bradshaw." "You are a student now in the most prestigious Ladies College in this country...

Lesbian
3 years ago
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Athena Ch02

“You ready sweetie?” He blinked, as if coming out of a stupor and looked back to her, to Athena, her expression playful, but her body language pressing. It hadn’t been so much of a question as it had been an order. Meekly he looked back at the window, looking through his own reflection to the street outside. They didn’t have far to go, but the short walk from her limo to the Hotel’s lobby was lined by an eager group of camera-toting men, the dreaded paparazzi. “But… The photographers,...

4 years ago
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Athena

He stood hugging himself tightly, not that it helped keep him warm anymore. The cold had long since seeped so far into him the only thing that kept him from running to find somewhere warm was the fear that, should he leave his spot, he’d return to find it taken and his chance of seeing her, Athena, gone forever. The singer Athena had caught the world by storm, nobody a year ago, the young woman had taken to the celebrity lifestyle like a duck to water and was now breaking records with her...

2 years ago
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Mathew and Beth part 3 Trip down southquot

It was a warm night in Georgia when I arrived for a very special meeting, This was not about business but it was very important to him as he was coming to meet for the first time his internet “friend”. Shannon his friend was a very subservient women who was proud to be just who she was and although for this first meeting they had something a little different in mind to give her master a new experience. What she didn't know was that I had a surprise for her as well, he was a bit of a romantic...

3 years ago
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Athena 1

Athena - 1 "Look at that stream! We should stop and go swimming!" Athena exclaimed as we barreled over a small bridge in the work van. I stop the van and put it in reverse and stop again, this time on top of the small bridge. I peer out of the window and gaze upon the stream. The water was crystal clear and as still as glass. I could see an almost perfect reflection of the trees on it's surface. "but we don't have bathing suits..." I responded. My response was flirty in...

3 years ago
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PrivateerChapter 20

It took me almost ten hours to recover the men from the wrecks and search them. I had to suit up in a pressure suit and enter the each ship using an emergency cable strung between ships. Using a battery pack, I established contact with the men on the bridge through their comm systems and made sure they understood that I could leave them behind if they did anything stupid, and that it would take almost two weeks for help to arrive. They promised to be good. They would have to depressurize the...

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