A Haunting She Will Go free porn video

Mindy McGuire was bored stiff. The irony was lost on her. She hadn’t been a stiff for quite some time. The biggest drawback to being dead was that there was seldom anything to do.

The beautiful young woman was rather grateful though. She often admired herself in any mirror still remaining in the old house she had occupied for the last fifty years. Her hair was just as long and vibrantly red as ever, and her curvy body filled her bikini just as it had the day she fell off the balcony at the “Apollo Party” to celebrate man’s first steps on the moon.

While the other party goers had panicked, screamed, cried, and phoned for an ambulance, she had ignored the commotion and rushed back upstairs before she missed anything. She had the television set all to herself so she didn’t have to go back to sitting on the balcony railing as she watched the excitement of Neil Armstrong taking that first step.

Mindy was still embarrassed by just how long it took her to realize that the swiftly passing white hot lightning strike of pain she had felt was due to her skull being crushed, her neck breaking and her spine being severed. At the tender age of nineteen, she had died on impact when she had missed landing in the pool by two feet. She had left quite an embarrassing big red stain on the concrete.

She had only noticed something wasn’t quite right when her tolerance for alcohol seemed to suddenly improve tremendously. She could drink as much as she wanted now, and never passed the pleasantly buzzed stage. It should have clued her in when that bitch Shelly Conner passed out after seeing her pick up a bottle and take a refreshing gulp or two.

When the girl came to her senses, nobody believed her wild story of the floating vodka bottle draining itself into thin air! Even though she was annoyed at being dead, Mindy had to laugh at Shelly’s hysterics as she told her fanciful tale to the police interviewing everyone about the accident.

Yup, she was dead. Mindy had gone out to inspect her body. She still looked good, if you avoided looking at the top of her head. It was a bit strange to see a few flecks of gray in the spreading red stain, and know you were seeing evidence of the brain you no longer seemed to need.

Oh well. Mindy took to being dead with no real trouble. She missed her family, but she knew they would soon adjust to life without her.

Since no one seemed to want to rent the house the party was held in any more, she decided to ‘live’ there. She didn’t think it would be right to move back into her old bedroom at home. It was very peaceful, but sometimes very dull. A girl needed to get out and have some fun from time to time. Mindy wasn’t one to let death hold her back. She soon discovered things were different than all the movies. She didn’t have any actual ‘need’ to stay at the house she died in. It was just nice to have a place to return to after her nightly rambles.

“I have to go out and stretch my legs.” The spectral girl announced as she walked through the wall and out onto the front lawn. “It’s such a lovely night.”

Mindy walked down the road from her long abandoned abode. One of the benefits of being dead was how comfortable she always was. Here it was, Halloween, and she felt quite warm as she strolled through the chilly night wearing only the emerald green bikini she had died in.

She had a destination in mind. Times had changed, and cars looked like something out of a science fiction blockbuster, but couples still parked. The local ‘Lover’s Lane’ wasn’t quite as busy as in her day, but there was usually one or two cars bouncing on their springs as guys too cheap for motels made out with their girlfriends.

Mindy was in luck. Not everyone was off at a Halloween party. She spotted one lone vehicle. A gently swaying Cadillac with steamed up windows. It was nothing like the ones she remembered. The big boxy truck-like delivery van looking thing just didn’t have the class of a land-yacht! There was something to be said for the roomy interior though.

Mindy stuck her head through the side of the vehicle and watched the back seats intently. A naked man was struggling over a rather pretty naked young woman. They were both blonde and seemed so very much alike. He seemed determined, as all guys were, but she was pushing back with one hand, while the other was held firmly between her thighs ti protect her virtue.

“Not without a condom!” The girl said firmly as she slapped his face and managed to push him off. “There’s no way we can risk it tonight without one!”

Mindy nodded approval. The blonde chick was a bit on the skinny side, but she had tits almost as big as her own. The girl could snap her fingers and have any guy in her bed. They guy was very lucky she chose him.

“You know my number one rule!” Lisa snapped. “We never do this without protection! Condom on you, diaphragm in me. We can’t take any risks! Especially not tonight! I’m ovulating!”

“Sure, I know!” The guy said as he rubbed his cheek. “I just forgot for a second. I have some condoms in the glove-box.”

“Oh no.” The girl laughed. “We’ll use one of mine! I know they weren’t tampered with!”

Mindy watched as the girl opened a ridiculously tiny shiny black leather back-pack, and fished out a rubber. She slipped a hand down the front of her bikini bottom, and started to touch herself. The day she discovered masturbation still worked was a red letter day in her afterlife!

“That condom broke on it’s own! You know there was a rash of product tampering! They even arrested the girl that was doing it!” The guy protested. “I’m not crazy. You know I’d never do anything to get us in trouble!”

“I could smell the mineral oil!” The girl said quietly as she rolled the latex sheath down his lovely penis. “I know you too well, Bobby. You always beg me to take you raw!”

“Lisa, are you nuts? I didn’t do it! Do you think I’d risk mom and dad ever finding out about us? Dad’s a cop, and mom’s a lawyer! They could put my ass in jail if I knocked you up!”

“Oh, they would not!” Lisa protested. “Mom isn’t stupid. We’re twenty-one, so it’s not even statutory. I don’t think any court would put you in jail just for incest. You just have to worry about daddy. Don’t forget, he owns a gun!”

“Mom and dad?” Mindy gasped. No wonder they looked so much alike. “Holy cow, real live incest! What a wonderful surprise!”

“Bobby, did you hear something?”

“It’s just the wind, sis.” Bobby said.

“I told you! Don’t ever call me sis when we’re doing this!” Lisa complained. “It makes me feel weird if you remind me that we’re twins while you fuck me!”

This was just too perfect! Mindy couldn’t help herself. It seemed the more aroused she got, the stronger her presence could be felt on the physical plane. She grabbed the wonderful ten inch dick and rolled the condom back off. She playfully tossed it into Lisa’s shocked face.

“What the hell?” She cried. “Bobby, what the hell did you do?”

“Nothing!” Bobby swore. “I didn’t do that!”

“Mind if I join in?” Mindy said playfully as she completely entered the automobile and got on the floor between his legs. There was plenty of room, since she could press her body into the back of the front seat as if it wasn’t there. She licked her lips in anticipation and then took his lovely penis into her mouth.

“Oh my God!” Bobby cried. “Sis, how are you doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Sucking my dick!”

“What? I’m not doing anything!” Lisa shouted. “I’m sitting here talking to you! How could I be sucking and talking at the same time?”

“But, but sis, I, I mean Lisa!” He stammered as Mindy bobbed her head in his lap. “I, I feel like I’m getting a blowjob!”

“Very funny!” Lisa said angrily. “Bobby, there is no way you’re conning me into taking you raw!”

“Fuck, it, it’s a real good blowjob!” Bobby wailed. His hands instinctively moved in front of him. He felt soft silky long hair, where their was nothing there! He felt the unmistakable form of a head, when all he could see was his own cock by moonlight. “Oh God! What is this?”

Mindy was enjoying herself. Dead or alive, her love of sucking a good cock never wavered. Bobby was caressing her hair, his hands exploring the outline of her scalp. She was glad it wasn’t all smashed and split, like her dear departed body all those years ago. Touching her ruined brain would have surely put him off his stride.

“Bobby, what the hell are you pulling?” Lisa demanded as she watched her brother perform a perfect pantomime of someone getting head. “Let me get another condom on you so we can make love!”

“In, in a minute!” Bobby gasped. “I, I’m almost there!”

Mindy thought it was nice of the guy to tell her. She gave one final swirl of her tongue, and abandoned the twitching dick just a heartbeat before he exploded.

“No, don’t stop!” Bobby begged when his penis was released by whatever force had enveloped it. “I was so damn close!”

“Are you finally ready to quit messing around?” Lisa said angrily. “I thought you wanted to, to, Oh my God!”

Mindy thought the woman’s shaved pussy looked simply divine, so she moved over and shoved her face between her thighs. She was soaked already. It was a pure pleasure to taste her wonderful essence!

“Something is licking me!” Lisa squealed. “What’s happening to me?”

“I told you!” Bobby said. His voice actually sounded a little jealous. “Whatever was sucking me, is now eating you out!”

“Make it stop!” Lisa gasped. Her eyes closed to slits as the delightful torment continued. “No, wait! Just stay put and jerk off! Don’t ‘rescue’ me yet! That tongue or whatever it is, knows exactly what it’s doing!”

“Fine!” Bobby said angrily. “I’ll just sit here and choke the chicken like a damn kid!”

“Shut up!” Lisa begged. “I’, I’ll let you go raw in my ass later! Just d-don’t scare it off!”

Mindy tried hard not to giggle. The loving twins both recognized a talented mouth when they felt it. Being dead sure didn’t prevent her from ‘going down’ like a pro!

She lapped away at Lisa’s musky wetness, thrilling at the taste. She attacked her pretty little clitty, loving the way it made her squirm. She paid close attention though. Lisa’s heavy breathing was just making that tell tale transition into panting like a bitch in heat, when she pulled her face away from the trembling young woman.

“No! Come back!” Lisa cried. “Just a little more! I was almost there!”

“How do you like it!” Bobby snapped. “What’s the equivalent to ‘Blue-Balls’? Did whatever it was give you Pink-Ovaries?”

“That’s not funny, Bobby! It’s not nice to leave a girl hanging! Hurry up and put on a damn condom and fuck me! Better yet, mister cheap-ass, I’ll spring for a motel!”

“We can’t go to a motel around here!” Bobby protested. “Everyone knows we’re brother and sister! It was your idea to only do it in your damn Caddy, parked where nobody will see us! You said that prissy private Catholic school would fire you if they found out the new teacher was banging her own brother!”

“Fine!” Lisa snapped. “Get dressed. We’ll go home and you can help mom give candy to trick-or-treaters. I’ll just stop on the way and get some fresh batteries for my damn vibrator!”

“Not so fast.” Mindy said as she grabbed Lisa and started trying to shove her over onto her brother. “Let Bobby experience you naked for the first time!”

“Did you say something?” Bobby asked as he watched his sister begin to sort of struggle next to him. “What’s wrong now?”

“Something’s grabbing at me!” Lisa wailed. “Get it off of me!”

Mindy wasn’t quite strong enough to move the living girl. It was like she weighed hundreds of pounds! She put all of her effort into it though. If she had a heart, it would be pounding as she slowly started to turn the struggling naked girl over in her seat. Then, something totally unexpected happened. Mindy slipped and fell onto Lisa just as she got her turned over to be facing the seat.

“This, this is new.” Mindy gasped. “I think I’m inside!”

“What’s new?” Bobby asked as he caressed his sister’s sexy ass. “Inside what?”

“I, I didn’t say that!” Lisa screamed. “It was my mouth, but those weren’t my words!”

Mindy felt something she hadn’t felt for fifty years. She was breathing! She had a pulse! She even felt someone feeling up her ass! No, not her ass. Somehow she was occupying Lisa’s body. She was wearing the girl like a set of clothes! Like a lovely bodysuit! She was experiencing every sensation the girl was feeling. Mindy even felt a little hungry. She had accidentally ‘possessed’ Lisa!

Mindy had passed the long lonely years with voyeurism, masturbating, and the occasional sneaky bout of oral sex on terrified college students. Was this unexpected blessing going to allow her to enjoy sex, for the first time in fifty years? She could only hope as she once again enjoyed the feeling of blood rushing through her veins.

“Groovy!” Mindy exclaimed as Bobby kneaded the flesh of the borrowed ass she was wearing. She could feel the individual fingertips hot against ‘her’ flesh. It was a reassuring answer to her burning question! “Like, wow!”

“Why are you talking like that?” Bobby asked. “Have you been watching “Scooby Doo” again?”

“That wasn’t me!” Lisa screamed in near hysterics. “Something is inside me!”

“Something sure is.” Mindy said softly as she put a hand between her thighs. Damn, she was so skinny! Didn’t Lisa know a little bit of padding was healthy? Still, this body was lovely. She slipped a finger up inside of herself. It felt so natural. It was no different than fingering herself, alive or dead. “Look what I found.”

“What the hell, sis!” Bobby gasped when Lisa, with no warning, suddenly pulled out her diaphragm. “Are you crazy? That diaphragm saved us when that tampered condom broke! Dammit, now I have to fuck your ass!”

“I wouldn’t say that.” It took Mindy a moment, but she finally figured out how to open the electrically controlled window, and tossed the diaphragm outside. “We won’t be needing that any more!”

“My Diaphragm!” Lisa screamed. “Bobby, go get it! I’ll sterilize it when we get home!”

“Sis, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, stud.” Mindy cooed. “Let’s fuck!”

“Don’t listen to me!” Lisa cried as she started to move. “This isn’t me! This isn’t me moving!”

From this new vantage point of inside the young woman, Mindy was now strong enough to keep Lisa’s mouth shut if she wasn’t actually using it herself. It just seemed like such fun to let the bewildered woman complain!

“Bobby” Mindy cooed “Don’t you want to try with nothing between us, but us? I’m so warm and wet for you.”

“Bobby! I didn’t say that!” Lisa shouted. “Don’t listen to me!”

“Whoa! Sis, stop!” Bobby yelled as his beautiful twin crawled over him. “Quit testing me! I know we can’t go raw! I wouldn’t even trust a condom if you’re diaphragm isn’t in! Dad would kill me if I knocked you up! Then I’d have to go buy a damn condo or something when he kicks me out!”

“You can put it in me for a minute.” Mindy said playfully. “What could possibly go wrong in just a minute?”

“No even for a second! Bobby, push me off!” Lisa wailed frantically as her hand moved on it’s own and grasped her brother’s cock. “That wasn’t me talking! I’m not doing this! My body is moving by itself! It isn’t me making me grab your cock!”

“Sis, what are you doing?” Bobby groaned as Lisa’s hand gripped his naked shaft. He felt the heat of her against the head as she rubbed him up and down over her moist lips. “This isn’t funny! You know the danger!”

“It’s okay, big-boy.” Mindy whispered through Lisa’s lips. “I’m on those Birth Control Pills now. We’re perfectly safe.”

“Oh God, no! No-no-no! I’m not on The Pill!” Lisa gasped as her traitorous body began to slowly settle onto him. “Shove me off! Stop me right now! If I get knocked up, my teaching career is over!”

“You’re so wet.” Bobby breathed as Lisa took him into her body. “Lisa, we can’t do this!”

“I know! Bobby, stop me!” Lisa whimpered as Bobby’s wonderful thick long, and NAKED shaft pushed up into her. “I didn’t even use spermicide! I ran out, and thought two rubber barriers would be enough!”

“I’ll just ride you a little while.” Mindy lied through Lisa’s teeth. “I promise, everything will be fine.”

“That’s not me talking!” Lisa whined. “Bobby, slap me! Make me stop before it’s too late! I’m ovulating today! You can’t get any sperm in me! We have to stop!”

“Just a little while.” Bobby said dreamily. “Oh God, sis, you’re so wet inside!”

“Snap out of it!” Lisa screamed as she settled completely onto her brother. His naked cock was buried deep within her! It was wonderful, but dear God. The consequences would last a lifetime! She loved kids, but didn’t want to have one just yet! She tried, but she just couldn’t make her body lift off of him! “Bobby, make me get off of you, now!”

“Thank God you’re on the pill.” Bobby said huskily. Condom companies lied! It felt so much better raw! “But sis, your role-play is a little too weird. Dial it back a notch.”

“Role-play?” Lisa squealed as she began to rock on him. “I’m not role-playing! I’m not on the damn pill! Make me stop before you cum in me!”

“I’m such a bad girl.” Mindy said in a childish sing song. “What if some sperm gets in me? What if my belly swells and my breasts fill with milk. Would you like to taste that milk?”

“Oh God, yes!” Bobby gasped as his sister began to ride him. “I, I have almost ten gigs of lactation MP4 files on my hard drive.”

Mindy had no idea what he was talking about, but when hands went to her hips and began urging her to move faster, she knew he was hooked. She put her arms around his neck and really started to work her borrowed body as she bounced.

“Oh God!” Lisa gasped as she flew into a frenzy of movement beyond her control. It was glorious, but scared her to death! “Oh my God! Bobby, please try to hold back! You can’t cum! Please, just don’t cum!”

“Don’t cum, until I’m almost there.” Mindy continued. “We, we have to come together, big boy!”

“I’ll try, sis!” Bobby grunted. “You’ve never been this hot before! It, it’s almost like I’m fucking someone else! What’s gotten into you? You were never like this before! You’re fantastic!”

Now that wasn’t very nice. Mindy was proud of being considered a great lay back when she was alive. She could drive all the guys wild, but Bobby shouldn’t talk to his sister like that. It was just rude. She decided to take a back seat, so to speak. If Lisa stopped, it would serve the fool right! She still possessed the lovely young woman, but sort of handed control back over to her.

“It’s just me!” Lisa snapped, eyes flashing fire. “Don’t you dare cum until after I finish and get off so I can catch you in my mouth!”

“How, how can I” Bobby whimpered when his sister suddenly increased her pace. “Lisa, you’re out of control!”

Mindy was impressed! She still felt every sensation, but just settled back and let Lisa do all the work. The girl was nearly as good as her when it came to riding cock! This was the grooviest scene she ever got involved in. It was even hotter than when those Black Panther twin brothers both took her at the same time. Her ass had been sore for a week, but it had been worth it! Now she was having an intense fuck, and just had to sit back and enjoy while the brother and sister did everything! This was the best day of her death!

“Don’t you dare cum!” Lisa panted as she rode on her brother like an animal in heat. “Let, let me finish and get off!”

“Lisa, you, you’re really not on the pill? This, isn’t role-play?”

“No!” She gasped. “Don’t cum! Just, just hold a little more!”

“Oh shit!” Bobby gasped. If Lisa really wasn’t on the pill, he was in serious trouble! It would be damn humiliating to pay child support to his own sister! He fumbled weakly as he tried to push her away. “Get off! I, I’m gonna cum real soon!”

“Bobby, don’t!” Lisa cried as she hugged his neck tighter. She failed to notice that it was done by her own effort. She was riding her brother on her own, but still couldn’t stop herself. They were about to cross a line siblings should never cross. She was right there, balanced at the very precipice of the abyss. She teetered over the threshold, and her body exploded! “Not in me!”

Lisa’s orgasm was her orgasm, and Mindy was fine with that! Her borrowed body spasmed as waves of pleasure crashed over them. Mindy felt the cock within them pulse. Bobby’s naked cock was jizzing his unprotected sister on her most fertile day! That just made it so much hotter!

Bobby groaned. As with most men, he was absolutely unable to stop himself once he started. He and Lisa had very cautiously and safely lost their virginity together not far from where they were parked now. One year later brought an exciting and frightening new first for them. It was their very first time ever having sex without a condom! They were going raw, and Lisa took out her diaphragm! Bobby knew he was seeding his twin sister on her most dangerous day! His cock surged. Spurt after spurt of semen blasted into his his sister as she writhed on top of him. He emptied himself into Lisa, even as he thought of the trouble the future would bring.

“That was just what I needed.” Mindy said as she eased out of the trembling Lisa. “A girl should never have to go fifty years without a good fuck!”

“Wh-What did you say?” Bobby asked his sister when he could trust himself to speak again.

“Oh my God.” Lisa whispered, her brother’s naked penis still deep within her. “What have we done?”

“Oh shit! Sis, I’m sorry!”

“You’re still hard!”

“I can’t help it. Get off. We have to figure this out.”

“Bobby, shut up!” Lisa ordered, as she began to move once again. “I’ll get off, when you get me off again!”

“Bye guys.” Mindy said cheerfully as she passed through the side of the energetically rocking car. “Have a very nice night!”

Mindy decided to head into town. She hadn’t been there for decades. Maybe there would be some people around. With luck, she could find another couple making out, and go along for another ride!

She went to the local high school. Surely there would be some action there. It somehow disappointed her to see a banner that said “Fall Harvest Party”. How could you throw a Halloween party, and not call it a Halloween party?

She walked right in, not even bothering to open the doors to the gymnasium. She saw nearly a hundred teens in costume. Mindy was shocked at what else she saw. Times must have really changed! Sitting alone in the corner, was a good looking young man. He looked very much as she remembered her brother Frank, before he ran off with friends to live in a commune in Canada when he was fourteen. Mindy judged the naked man to be around nineteen, maybe twenty. He had the slender, yet well muscled body of a swimmer. His skin was a bit pale, but his tightly curled hair was just as red as her own.

None of that was shocking though. The handsome young man was sitting there, totally naked, casually stroking a very impressive ten inch cock. Of course Mindy went closer for a better look.

“Damn, that woman must be freezing her ass off.” Alan Peterson said as he watched the curvy redhead in the green oddly cut bikini approach. It covered a lot more than he would have liked to see covered, but the girl was a knockout. “With a body like that, she can’t be a student. She must be a new teacher. Damn. Look at those tits bounce! I am definitely following her into the ladies room tonight!”

Mindy looked around, wondering who the guy was talking about. She’d follow them into the bathroom, whoever she was. With luck, she’d get to join in. With her possessing the girl, they handsome guy was guaranteed to score.

“That cock sure looks wonderful.” Mindy said happily. “I wonder what the guy would say to a quick suck?”

“The guy would say hell yeah!” Alan said, before reality struck. “Oh shit! Can, can you see me?”

Mindy was astounded, and more than a little amused. The handsome man had jumped to his feet, and was trying to hide his dick with both hands. A blush actually rose to his pale cheeks when that didn’t work very well. With a cock like that, he couldn’t hide it with three hands!

“Let me guess.” She said playfully as she put a hand on her hip and gave him her best seductive pose. Judging by his expression, he could see her quite well! “Are you dead, like me?”

“Yeah.” He smiled bashfully. “I, uh, I guess you can say that.”

“How did you die?” She asked curiously. “I fell off a balcony and bashed in my skull. I died so fast it took me a while to even notice.”

“Wow!” He gave a low whistle. “That’s how my dad’s big sister died. Mine was nothing that exciting. I was celebrating qualifying for the Olympic swim team. It was really a double celebration. I got the notification on my nineteenth birthday. Some friends threw me a party. I was totally wasted, and well, drowned while trying to swim when drunk.”

“Oh, you poor, poor boy.” Mindy giggled. “You died of irony!”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“Are there any others like us around?”

“Nah. I think they mostly move on. You’re the first I’ve seen, and I’ve been dead for about twenty years.”

“You’re the first I’ve seen, and I’ve been dead for, um, a while.”

“How long ago?” Alan asked with a grin on his face. “The boys must have mourned you for ages.”

“A girl does not like to discuss her age!” Mindy couldn’t help grinning back. “Or how long ago she died, but I’ll tell you since you asked so nicely. About a minute before Mr. Neil Armstrong took his small step, I took a big tumble. I was so excited about the moon landing, that I ran back upstairs to watch on television while everyone else was going crazy over my dead body. Like I told you. I was too distracted to notice I was dead for quite a while.”

“I like an older woman.” Alan said with a grin. “Especially one that fills her bikini so well.”

“Older woman my ass! I was only nineteen when I died! If I lived another month, I would have made twenty!” Mindy snapped. “That does not make me sixty-nine now! I died early and left a beautiful corpse!”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Alan said as he put his hand on her shoulder. He felt her as a sort of nearly solid smoke “Hey, we can touch, kind of.”

“Groovy!” Mindy said, anger immediately forgotten. “Touching the living is much easier though. Have you tried this?”

Mindy turned to the party goers around them. She saw a pretty young woman dressed as a witch. She walked over and gave the girl’s pert ass a rather vicious twisting pinch. The witch spun around and glared at a guy dressed as Frankenstein’s monster. Unhappily, he was the only living being close enough to have touched her.

“You damn molester!” The witch yelled. She then hauled off and punched him right in the face. “I’m reporting you right now!”

The witch stormed off. In moments, she returned with two obvious teachers. The confused and somewhat groggy Frankenstein was then hustled to the door by the angry chaperones and forcibly ejected from the party.

“Oh, I didn’t expect that reaction.” Mindy said apologetically. “I though she’d maybe slap him at most, or even start dancing with him. Guys used to pinch my ass all the time when I took the occasional waitress gig to help pay for college. Depending on if they were cute or not, I’d give them a playful slap to warn them off, or talk with them and see if something developed. If they tipped big enough, I’d let them ask me out. What was her problem?”

“You have been dead for a long time. Hang out at the mall more, and you’ll catch up.” He put his hand back on her shoulder and sighed. “I wish we, um, could, uh, you know...”

“Do you wanna fuck?” Mindy asked happily. “Right here, right now. It’ll be wild to do it right in front of everyone!”

“Oh God, this is the best day of my death, but how are we gonna do it?” He pushed his hand through her shoulder with very little effort. “We’re not quite solid enough.”

“Oh, that’s easy! Remember what I said about sucking?” She licked her lips. “I can give the living blowjobs!”

“I, um, I licked out a drunk woman once at a fraternity party I crashed. I even got her to cum. She started screaming though when someone turned on the lights and she saw that nobody was there.” He blushed again. “I can jerk off, too. Semen even comes out, but nobody ever notices it when it lands on them. Shit, sorry about that. I should have kept that to myself”

“Don’t be sorry.” Mindy laughed. “When I discovered masturbation still works, I went crazy on my pussy! Ever ‘do it’ in front of a cop? That’s really fun!”

“No.” He actually blushed. “But I practically spend my afterlife jerking off in dressing rooms at the mall. I love watching soccer moms buying sexy clothes.”

“I played with myself in the middle of a baseball game once. That got me a little too worked up. I had to leave when I started wanting all the players to, well, hit a home run if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, like, well, getting to second base with a girl?”

“Yes, like that.” She smiled. “Are you making fun of me?”