A Deal's A Deal free porn video

Kelly laid her book down and looked across the table at her mother. "Mom, what do you mean, what do I think of Robert?"

"Just that, sweetie. What do you think of him?"

"Mother dear, have I given any indication that I was upset with you marrying again?" The eighteen year old smiled. "Bob's a great guy. I'm glad you found someone so good for you." The lovely blonde favored her mother with a wink. "When are you guys going to give me a little brother or sister?"

Melody Conner-Johnson dropped the coffee cup she was holding. "Shit!" she gasped as the cup broke, spreading coffee all over the floor. "I better get something to clean that up!"

With a sigh, Kelly pushed the book away from her. Something was obviously wrong. "Mom, what is it? You've been acting funny all weekend." She smiled. "Bob will be home soon. I bet he'll know how to ease your tensions."

The older woman ran a hand nervously through her long red hair and took a deep breath. "Kelly, you're making this impossible! Please don't say a word while I try to explain!"

Kelly was out of her seat in a flash. In seconds she was at her mother's side. "Mom, it's me, okay? What's wrong? I promise to let you talk if you only explain!"

"Oh sweetheart, it's just your choice of words just now." The older woman was blushing like a timid school girl. "We do want to give you a baby brother or sister, that's the problem!"

"That's no problem, mom! I'm looking forward to some babysitting cash." Kelly's eyes opened wide. "Wait, do you think I'm troubled because Bob is black? You know I'm not some stupid bigoted little cunt! Bob is a wonderful man! Any woman would be proud to be his wife!"

"That's not what I meant, and you watch your language!" Melody wailed as she hugged her daughter tight. "Just please shut up and listen, before I lose my nerve!"

"Okay mom!" Kelly tried to keep her breasts from pressing too tightly against those of her mother. It was sort of distracting. "Tell me what's going on!"

"Kelly, the day you were born was the happiest moment of my entire life. Through you it was like a part of your father was still with us." She sniffed back tears. "There was a little sadness that day too. I very nearly died. The doctors all warned me that another pregnancy could kill me. I had little choice. Several months after you were born, I had a tubal ligation."

"Oh mother. Those can be reversed these days." Kelly smiled. "You should talk to Doctor Anderson. She'll tell you all about it."

Melody took a deep breath before continuing. "I did talk to Doctor Anderson. She told me that nothing's changed. There's a very good chance I wouldn't survive to have another child." She gulped. "The doctor did say that you are as healthy as a horse though."

Being a very intelligent girl, Kelly put two and two together. It added up to nine months! "Mom! What the hell are you thinking? I'm only eighteen! I'm your daughter!"

"Yes, you are my daughter." Melody hugged Kelly tighter. "You're my beautiful healthy daughter who would probably have a very easy delivery! Please hear me out!"

"Mother! I don't want to have a kid!" Now Kelly was blushing. "I'm still a virgin, for God's sake!" She had thought it a little odd when Doctor Anderson gave her such an extensive gynecological exam last month. The good doctor took twice as long as usual during all her poking and prodding. "Is Doctor Anderson in on this too?"

"No! I, I just wanted to see if you would have any problems like I did during your birth, that's all! You have a perfect body for making babies."

"What am I, some sort of breed mare?"

"Baby, don't take it like that!" Melody sobbed.

"Don't say baby!" Kelly struggled from her mother's arms. "How could think up something like this? Go and hire a host mother or something!"

"Kelly" he mother cried. "I want you to be host! You're the only woman I would ever trust with something like this!"

She had been about to run from the room when Kelly froze. "Woman? You're actually acknowledging I'm not a little kid?"

"Oh my precious baby, um, grown-up daughter. I've known for ages you're not a little girl any more." She sniffed. "Why do you think I cried so much last week when you turned eighteen? You're a woman now, not my precious little baby!"

Kelly took a deep breath. She couldn't handle mom when she turned all emotional like this! "Mother, you shocked me. I need time to think." Her eyes opened wide. "Does Bob know about your insane idea?"

"Oh honey, no!" Melody managed to smile at her daughter. "I do have some common sense, after all."

Kelly locked herself in her bedroom. "Holy fucking crap! Who in hell ever heard of someone wanting their daughter to be an unwed mother?" The lovely blonde threw herself on her bed and rolled over on her back. "This is insane! There is no way I want to have a baby now!" she ran a hand over her trim tummy. Kelly worked hard to keep herself in excellent shape. She knew she looked good. It wasn't even to attract a man, though. She didn't want anything complicating her life like that until she finished her studies.

She closed her eyes to think. Money wasn't exactly tight, but did mom really have that much to throw away on an in vitro fertilization procedure? Emotions pushed finances from her mind. 'Oh God! My belly would be huge! Bob's a big man, from a family of large people. I'd be a whale!" Another thought entered her mind. Bob WAS a big man. Was THAT built to scale?

"Shit!" Kelly hadn't planned it, but her hand had slipped sneakily down the front of her sweatpants. "This isn't right." She thought as the heat of her arousal warmed her fingertips. "It's not like he would be fucking me!" the blushing girl sat up and struggled out of her hoodie, tee-shirt and bra. "It would be in vitro!" she scolded herself as she stood and wriggled out of her sweats. "It would be done in Doctor Anderson's office!" she moaned as her damp panties slipped down long shapely legs. "They'd plant the fertilized egg up inside me. No sperm need apply!"

The aroused girl once again lay on her bed. "Me, pregnant?" she said experimentally as her fingers gently stroked silky lips. "My breasts would get bigger, wouldn't they?" 34C was big enough, thank you very much! She shook her head. She didn't want them to get bigger! A thought hit her like an electric shock. "Oh damn! What does it feel like to be full of milk?"

Her fingers were getting really busy now. Kelly took a deep shuddering breath as she playfully toyed with her rapidly engorging clit. "I, I don't have a job." She moaned as her hips began to roll. "Maybe I can take a semester or too off." She shook her head again. "No! I'll move into a dorm and keep myself away from anything male! I will not get knocked up now!"

Right hand moving with all the speed and skill of a concert violinist, Kelly's left hand began to paw at her breasts. Her mind circled back to that electrifying thought. "These, these f-full of milk?" she gasped as she tweaked a firmly erect nipple between thumb and index finger. Without thinking, the young woman pushed a firm breast towards her mouth. Her lips closed over her swollen nipple as she began to suck. She couldn't help thinking, 'what would I taste like?' as her body grew closer to release.

Moaning against her breast, Kelly's bottom humped the bed as her fingers danced. She had heard mom and Bob making love. Sometimes mom would scream in joy! Would Bob make her scream too? Sobbing against the warm flesh of her breast, Kelly exploded! Her toes curled to grip the sheets as fluid soaked her fingers. Her back arched as she thrust upwards against a phantom lover. Waves of pleasure pulsed through her straining body while she panted and suckled herself through one orgasm after another.

"Oh dear God!" Kelly struggled out of bed some time later and staggered into her bathroom. "This is embarrassing!" she muttered as she grabbed a bunch of tissues to wipe up the somewhat massive amount of saliva running from her breast onto her tummy. "Do I have an impregnation fetish or something?" The bolt of warmth that shot through her soul seemed only to confirm this snap diagnosis. "Oh Jeez, I'm turning into a freakin' pervert! I have to put a stop to this nonsense! I have to convince mom that this isn't right! I can't be a host mother. Not now!" She thought fast, and came up with an idea to shock her mother out of this crazy scheme and back to reality.

Mind made up, Kelly finished her hasty clean-up and got dressed. She found her mother sitting on the sofa. "Mom, I, I'll do it." She announced loudly, hands on hips.

"Oh sweetheart, thank you!"

Kelly felt her face grow red, but she had to continue. "I'll make a deal with you. I'll have a baby for you and Bob, but only on my terms!"

Melody jumped up and once again hugged her daughter. "What are they? I'll do whatever you ask!"

"Mom" she cleared her throat. "I, um, I don't want it to be all cold and sterile with syringes and whatnot."

"What do you mean, baby?"

Taking a deep breath, Kelly continued her plan to shock her mother. "I want Bob to do it, the old fashioned way!"

Melody held her daughter at arms length. "You, you want to have sex with Robert?"

"I, I refuse any outside artificial aid." Kelly stammered. "One hundred percent all organic and natural! Those are my terms! I want it to be my egg. I want Bob to fuck me and squirt his sperm right inside my body! Agree to that, or you go and hire yourself some host mother! It's that simple. Meet my terms, and I swear to you on all I hold sacred that I'll sign papers for you to adopt him before he's even born." That ought to do it. What woman would want their husband to go screwing around with a younger woman? Now mom was sure to see reason and look into hiring a host mother! "It's that, or nothing. My terms, and I give you my word to produce a fine healthy baby for you and Bob!"

The room was silent for several long minutes. Melody finally smiled. "Oh my baby girl! This went so much smoother then I thought it would! It's a deal!" She grabbed he daughter's hand and shook it firmly. "Frankly, I was a bit worried about all those in vitro and host mother fees. Don't worry; you'll see a nice hefty increase in your allowance. Besides, you and I look almost like sisters. I'm sure your egg will give us a beautiful baby!"

Kelly's mouth dropped open. "Huh?' was her insightful reply. "You, you agree to my terms? Really?"

Melody smiled. "Of course, sweetie!" She tugged her daughter towards the door. "Come on! Let's go buy you some maternity clothes!"

"Mom! I'm not pregnant yet!" she gasped as they headed out the door. What the hell was going on? Kelly's mind spun. How was she going to back out of this now? "Wait mom! Who knows when I'll even be fertile?" She had to get out of this! Tomorrow she'd get Doctor Anderson to put her on the Pill. No, what about mom wanting her to screw Bob? "Don't get ahead of yourself! I probably won't get pregnant for ages." Years, if she could help it!

"Oh pooh!" Melody laughed as she unlocked her car door. "I've been tracking your periods for the last six months, honey. Remember how I was oh so concerned that you would catch a cold these last few days?"

"Yeah." Kelly had to laugh. "You kept making me take my temperature and write it down uh, um..." Her voice stuttered to a squeaky stop.

"Guess what sweetie? According to your menses chart, and your body temperature, tonight's the night!"

Kelly slapped a hand to her forehead. "Mother! You planned this from the start?"

"Yes Kelly dear. You don't know how happy I am that you swore to help!" she squeezed her daughter's hand as they pulled up to the mall. "I love you so much! What other woman has a daughter, no, a friend who would be so willing to help in a time of such great need?"

Did she swear to help? Kelly remembered swearing to let mom and Bob adopt the baby if she had one. She felt a shiver race through her body. Oh Lord above! She gave her word to produce a baby! Mom was so happy now. What would mom do if she broke her word? She never had before! Kelly always prided herself on her honesty. Oh Shit! Was she ever in deep doo-doo now! "Mom, I need an espresso. Let's head to the coffee shop first."

"Sorry honey." Melody patted her daughter's shoulder. "No caffeine for you for the duration. It isn't good for mommies-to-be. How about I get you some nice orange juice instead?"

"No caffeine?" This was getting worse and worse by the second! "Mother, you know I get, well, cranky if I don't get my coffee."

"Sorry sweetheart, but you agreed to this." She smiled at her crestfallen daughter. "No caffeine, no soda, and no junk foods. You'll probably get cravings, lord knows I did, but I'll try to steer you towards healthier options, okay?"

The entered the maternity shop. Kelly allowed herself to be dragged from display to display. "Couldn't this wait?" she hissed as the saleswoman smiled knowingly at her.

"Nonsense!" Melody grinned as her daughter blushed when she held a simply darling sundress up to her. She looked her daughter up and down. "I finally found a way to get you to stop wearing hoodies, tee-shirts and those raggedy sweatpants. For such a lovely young woman, you certainly have a terrible fashion sense. Those things will never do once you start to show. If you're anything like me, you're going to get pretty big, awfully fast."

Kelly groaned. "That's not what I want to hear now!"

They spent several hours shopping for maternity wear. Kelly had to admit that some of the outfits her mother picked were very pretty. "This is a good start." Her mother announced as they left with six bags. "Now we have to make another stop." She winked. "You'll like this, baby girl!"

Kelly breathed deeply as they passed the coffee shop. Maybe she could absorb some caffeine from the air as they passed. Intent on the delightful aromas, she almost didn't notice where her mother was taking them. "Mother!" she hissed. "Victoria's Secret?'

"Of course, sweetheart." Melody smiled. "We have to make sure you look your best tonight. We wouldn't want Bob to resist your charms now, would we? We need the proper bait."

Kelly's legs almost buckled. When she got home she was going to bundle up in all her ski clothes! The last thing she wanted to do was look sexy when Bob came home to this bizarre plan! "I have nightgowns." She managed to stammer as her mother dragged her deeper into the store. "Let's go home. Let's go home right this minute!"

"Somebody is a very eager beaver." Melody grinned at her flustered daughter. "Trust me, honey. I know what Robert will love to see you in. We want to make sure he's raring to go, don't we?"

Some of the wispy little garments they looked at were quite lovely. Kelly nearly had a heart attack though when her mother started looking through the bridal collection! "Lounge pants and tank top! That's what I want!" she gasped as her mother held one virginal white nothing after another up against her.

"Don't be silly, darling. This is going to be your very first time. You need something special!" she held up a last garment. "This is perfect. You'll look so sexy in this sheer little baby-doll. See? There's an underwire to help display you at your very best, and the sexy little V-string will show off your pretty bottom nicely!"

If it where possible, Kelly would have loved to sink down into the floor and disappear when the saleswoman joined them. "What a darling choice! I couldn't help overhearing, ladies. When is the honeymoon?"

She tried to explain that there wasn't a honeymoon, and that her mother was just insane, but all that came out was an odd little squeak.

Melody smiled. "Very soon. She's a little nervous, being a virgin and all."

"Oh, I understand completely." The woman winked. "I wish I had the willpower to save myself for marriage." She patted Kelly's hand. "Don't you worry about it. A whole new world is about to open up for you. I'll bet you're going to be wondering why you waited so long to try it! Trust me on this too. It doesn't hurt much at all the first time. Before long you're going to want it every night!"

Kelly couldn't stop herself. She wanted to scream, but that's not what came out. "Thank you." She whispered softly to the beaming saleswoman. "You're very kind."

She hardly remembered mom leading her back to the car. "Sweetheart, as soon as we get home, I want you to slip into a nice warm bath. You need to relax before your big night. I'll make us a nice light supper when Bob gets home from work, and then it's off to bed!"

It was a rather dazed Kelly that finally stepped back inside their home. "Mom, I, I think I will take that bath." She whispered as she walked towards the stairs as if in a dream. "I don't think I want any supper though."

"No honey. You better eat." Her mother smiled. 'I promise to fix you something light, but you need to eat so you have lots of energy for when Robert gets home."

Kelly somehow managed to make it back up to her bedroom. She closed the door and locked it. She actually considered dragging her bed and dresser over to build a make-shift barricade! "Oh God, what am I going to do?" How on Earth did she miscalculate so badly? Mom was supposed to be shocked and hurt at the thought of her daughter screwing the man she loved. How did she end up giving her word to get pregnant?

There was a light tap at her door and Kelly nearly jumped out of her socks. 'Sweetheart?" her mother called softly. "I almost forgot to give you something."

She unlocked the door and opened it a little bit. "Um, what is it, mother?"

Melody blushed prettily as she handed a small package to her daughter. "Make sure you use plenty of this, my darling baby. It will help insure you have a simply wonderful time."

Kelly looked down at the small package her mother had given her. The package contained a nice new five once bottle of Astroglide! "Mother, you shouldn't have!" Once again, her knees almost gave way. "I, I mean it. You really shouldn't have!"

"Oh honey!" Yet again, proud mother hugged flustered daughter. "Don't worry." Melody assured, totally misunderstanding her daughter's reaction. "I checked into it. Astroglide is not a spermicidal product. You can use as much as you want." She actually giggled. "You and Robert can go crazy with it. Don't worry. Its water based, so it'll wash right out of the sheets. So be sure to use a lot, honey. It'll help make your first time something memorable!"

"I bet." Kelly firmly pushed her mother out of the room, and closed the door. "Oh God! Oh Lord!" Her hand was trembling as she stared at the personal lubricant. "Bob must be freakin' huge if mom wants me to use this junk!"

She needed to get out of this, and fast! Kelly pulled out her cell phone and called her best friend. "Angela, I need help!"

"What's wrong, Rose?"

"For the last time, stop that! I do not look like Rose Tyler!" she let out an exasperated breath. "Can we forget your obsession with Doctor Who for just two seconds? I have a real problem here!"

Angela laughed in her ear. "You look so much like Rose it's almost scary!" she laughed again. "Come with me to a Con sometime. The fan boys will be drooling, fan girls, too."

Kelly blushed. Although both were still virgin, she and Angela had a relationship that was quite a bit closer then anyone suspected. Both young women liked and appreciated men, but saw no reason why their own friendship shouldn't express all aspects of their love for each other. As an added bonus, it was a great way to keep one's mind off of starting outside relationships. Soft tongues and gentle fingers where sure a pleasant way to save ones self for the wedding bed! "Cut it out, fan girl! I'm being serious! I somehow ended up agreeing to be a surrogate mother for my mom and Bob!"

"Oh my God!" Angela gasped. "You, have a baby for your mother?"

Finally, someone understood! "I know! I can hardly think! She even dragged me out and bought a ton of maternity clothes!"

"Kelly, that, that is..." her friend let out a squeal "That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!"

She nearly dropped the phone. "What, are you serious?"

"Wait, you said surrogate mother." There was another squeal "Not gestational carrier or host mother? This is fantastic! My little baby Kelly is going to become a woman!"

Shit! When was she going to learn to be careful? Angela's steel trap mind picked right up on the legal ramifications of her choice of words! "Enough of the baby Kelly crap too! You're only one month older then me!" she sighed "Is everyone going insane around here? Mom is going to have Bob screw a baby into me tonight! What should I do?"

There was a long pause, filled by Angela's heaver then normal breathing. "One thing comes to mind right off. Kelly, let me watch! Please? I swear you'll never even notice I'm there! I'll be very quiet. I'll even leave my cell phone and video camera home. I promise!"

"I'm in the Twilight Zone!" She listened for a moment to ragged breathing. "Stop masturbating and get serious!"

"Oops, was I that obvious?"

"You always breathe like that when you diddle yourself!" she took a deep breath. "I gave my fuckin' word I'd have a baby for mom! I can't go back on my word! What should I do?"

"Kelly, How is this a problem?"

"What do you mean?" She shook her head. "It's a huge problem!"

"How?" Angela sighed. "Listen. Ninety-nine percent of all unwed teen mothers are one hundred percent certain their parents will kill them when they discover a little baby-batter dripped in the oven. Your mother WANTS you to have a baby! She's even bought you a wardrobe for the blessed event. Plus, you have no genetic ties to our man Bobby. Besides all that, you are a legal adult. You have been for three whole days. It's all good. I don't see a problem at all."

"But she's going to force Bob to do this!" she wailed.

"What force? Kelly. I doubt if there is a man alive that wouldn't want to hit your sweet cherry pie!"

Despite herself, Kelly laughed. "Batter in the oven? Cherry pie? Now I'm scared and hungry! You're insane, do you know that?"

"You only just figured that out?" There was another pause. "Kelly, um, I do want to ask you something. Could I, uh, what I mean to say is, does this mean I can"

Kelly cut her off. "Don't get so dramatic! This isn't a breakup call! Of course we'll still get together. I mean, if I was to go through with this insanity!"

"That's not what I meant!" Angela shouted. She calmed down almost immediately. "I'll be blunt. You better let me taste your milk! I just have to know what it's like! My mother bottle fed me after all!"

"Holy crap! Angela, I'll call you later. Go play with yourself and calm down!" She hung up. Oddly, talking with Angela did take some of the edge off of her panic. Not that she wanted to go through with this, but at least she wasn't in any kind of insurmountable domestic problem!

Following her mother's advice, Kelly immersed herself in a nice hot bath. "Stop it!" she scolded her hand as it began to caress between her legs. She shook her head and then actually slapped her own wrist. "I will not be aroused! I am not being turned on by all this!" The young woman whimpered softly at this blatant lie as she climbed out of the tub.

Drying off, she slipped into a pair of panties and jeans. "No! No, no, no!" she shouted at the mirror as she struggled back out of them. The tight low riders accented her figure far too much! She wanted nothing to do with Bob losing his willpower to mom's insanity! She put on a pair of her boy shorts and then hunted up her baggiest sweatpants. "Better!" she snapped as she put on bra, tee-shirt, baggy sweat shirt, AND the yellow hoodie she never wore because it was several sizes too big. "Much better!" she sighed while tucking her shoulder length hair up into a battered ball cap she had left over from her high school softball days.

Melody raised an eye at how her daughter was dressed, but didn't mention it. "Robert called a few minutes ago. He'll be home soon. I'll start cooking when he gets here"

"Um, Th-That's nice." Kelly stammered as she fumbled her way through setting the table. "What's for dinner?"

"Something new I think we'll all like." She smiled. "I'm making stir-fried oysters with garlic and green onions, with just a hint of ginger." She held out her hand. Before we eat, I want you to try some of this liquorice. It's all natural and organic. It's also very delicious.

Kelly took the offered sweet and popped it in her mouth. "Oh, that's good! Wait a minute. Oysters? What are you doing to me? You're trying to influence Bob with food! I know oysters are considered an aphrodisiac!"

"I know, honey." Melody smiled. "So are ginger and garlic. Liquorice is supposed to be especially effective in increasing a woman's libido. Care for another piece?"

Kelly face turned a rather fetching shade of pink as she made an effort to stop herself, but it was too late. She had already swallowed the chewed up sweet! It was only candy, but Kelly felt like she had just been drugged! "Mother!" she gasped, while trying to calm her overwrought nerves. "I do not want another piece!"

It was at that moment the befuddled young woman's stepfather arrived home. "Hello ladies. How was your day?"

Kelly's heart leapt to her throat when she heard his deep voice. She spun around and looked up at the big handsome man. Swirling emotions clouded her mind as she took a step back. What could she say? There had to be some way she could defuse this whole situation! She opened her mouth to speak, and something very strange happened. In her nervousness, Kelly began to giggle. "Hi!" she managed to blurt out while trying to contain herself.

Robert put his briefcase down and smiled. "What's the joke? Did I miss something?"

"Oh honey, don't mind Kelly." Melody smiled. "She's just in a very silly mood today."

She turned her back on Bob, but that didn't help. Why was the kitchen just filled with phallic symbols? "Yeah, I, I'm in a silly mood." She gasped, while trying not to think weird and nasty thoughts about the pepper mill, and a bunch of rather large bananas.

"Sweetheart, why don't you tend to the laundry. It should be already dry about now." Her mother said with a grin. Dinner will be ready in a little while."

Kelly got out of there as fast as she could! "Oh damn! Now I'm going insane!" she exclaimed while heading to the laundry room. The giggle fit left her just as fast as it had arrived. What laundry? Mom had hand washed her new baby-doll, and that was it. There it was, hanging in all it's glory over the sink. "Oh my God! This is really real!" She touched the sheer fabric, and found it was indeed already dry. Despite herself, she wondered if Bob would like seeing her in it. Of course he would! Kelly wasn't vain, but she knew the facts. Angela was right. Guys would line up to see her wearing something as insubstantial as this little wisp of nothing!

Feeling like a sneak thief, the young woman grabbed the garment and made a dash for the stairway, and the safety of her room. Once there, she hid the garment deep in her walk in closet. She was very careful to hang it properly. She didn't plan on wearing it, but it would be a shame to get the pretty little thing all full of wrinkles! She took a second to compose herself before returning downstairs.

Melody looked up from her cooking when Kelly joined her and Bob in the kitchen. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?"

"Huh? I mean, what do you mean?"

Leaning close to her daughter, Melody whispered in the girl's ear. "Put it on, silly! You should look your very best while telling Robert the wonderful news!"

Her heart did several flips in her chest as this sank in. "Now? I, I thought we would have dinner first, maybe even watch a movie or two. There's no rush! Maybe we could even wait until I finish school."

"Honey, you promised." A look of sad disappointment filled her eyes. "You gave your word!"

Kelly opened her mouth, but just stood there. Was this the slippery slope everyone always talked about? She sighed. Bob would surely put a stop to all this! "Oh, alright!" she said quietly while trying somehow to stop from blushing. "I, I'll be right down!"

"Oh, my baby girl!" In a twinkling the look in her mother's eyes turned to glowing love and pride! "Hurry down sweetheart. I, for one, can't wait to see how lovely you look in it!"

Back in her room, Kelly took a deep breath. "Bob will freak out when I tell him I'm to be a surrogate mother for their baby. He'll never in a million years want to do something as crazy as screw a kid into his stepdaughter!"

The teen slowly worked her way out of the layers of fabric she had been wearing as a sort of shield for her virtue. She stepped into the V-string and slowly pulled it up her legs. "Damn it!" she hissed. "I hate this! Why would anyone think it's comfy to have something going up their butt-crack? I'll take my boy shorts, any day! This is going to feel terrible!" She gave a final shimmy of her hips to adjust the garment, and was surprised to find that the V- string was rather comfortable, after all. "So? I'd still rather my shorts! With my butt hanging out like this, I may as well not be wearing anything!"