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In summer, early summer, the Vellamo left out of Corpus Christi and headed southwest. The kids were soon to be 12 and 13 ... the trips celebrated their first birthday. Wendy turned 33.

Come to think of it ... so did I. From the attitude of Inkeri and Artturi, we were older than that Bible guy ... Methuselah.

When we had to meet with the ninth grade teachers for Progress Reports and the PTA (Parent Teachers Association), their History teacher burst out laughing when we introduced ourselves.

When she calmed down, we inquired.

"According to Art and Keri, you, Mr. Valmaat, served your military time as the helmsman on the Ark. Mrs. Valmaat, you were the cook."

"I've heard that before," I said.

Wendy just nodded, pushing the three seat pram with the triplets in it.

"Do you know," she said, "Your children have never mentioned babies ... not once."

"They don't like to admit that their parents have sex." Wendy said.

"We have reached the limit of their Squick factor."

In a perfect imitation of Inkeri's voice, Wendy said, "You already produced perfection ... why are you still trying?"

"Replacements," I said. "I told them we were producing replacements."

"Oh! You didn't?" the teacher asked.

"Yes ... we did," Wendy said.

"That's funny," she said.

"We weren't joking," Wendy and I said, straight faced.

She looked shocked.

But we couldn't keep it up, and we both cracked up.

"Now, your children persist in telling the other students that you are on a round the world voyage." She saw the grins. "You are? I mean ... really?"

"As soon as school is out we will be sailing through the Canal and over to Hawaii ... unless we go to New Zealand. We intend to explore the Galapagos on the way."

"What an adventure! But ... what about school?"

"I think we've done a fairly good job, so far. How are they doing in school?"

"They seem bored."

"How are their tests?"

"Straight A's."

"Their homework?"

"On time and well done. I assign the odd numbered questions for homework."

"They turn the answers for all the questions?"

"Well, yes."

"Reports?"

"The report on the Napoleonic Wars was extremely informative. I had to do my own research to corroborate what they wrote."

I told her, "They've been to Hougoumont Farm, the Lion Mound, La Haie Sainte, the 'Elm Tree' Crossroads; all the little places, Papelotte, Frichermont, Plancenoit; the farms, Mont St Jean Farm, Rossome Farm. They assisted at an archaeological excavation at Napoleon's second headquarters and found a brass uniform button. They've seen the Convent, and Quatre-Bras. It was exciting and boring and historic.

"We gave tests on where they'd been and the exhibits they'd seen.

"We spent time in France, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Holland, Belgium and England before we crossed the Atlantic and sailed the St. Lawrence river, Lakes Ontario, Erie, Huron and Michigan before we spent a winter snow-bound in Minnesota."

"They told us that ... but ... it seems so ... preposterous. The Mississippi?"

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Lisa and I met a couple years earlier when we worked promo for Pepsi. That summer I had been hooking up with Claire, one of her best friends. Lisa started dating David, who also worked with us. It was a fun summer with no care in the world. All the singles at that time partnered off and when we were at work we would flirt and use sexual innuendo with anyone of the opposite sex. Nearly everything was fair game. Lisa and David continued their relationship afterward. Fast forward two years later...

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Charlene McCloud listened to the many diverse conversations her neighbors were having around the table. The couple from apartment 4B, Tobias and Ruth, were talking about the one day their water heater decided to leak causing hundreds of dollars of damage to their newly renovated hardwood floors. The couple from apartment 2A, Jason and Jared, shared some of their designer tips to a couple from floor 5. Their names escaped Charlene, but she had bumped into them a few times in the elevator. The...

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