Found in Translation
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On that fateful day, Tyche unassed herself from Edgar’s aging SUV, threw me a hug and sprinted for the bathroom.
“Hold it ... hold it ... hold it ... winter clothes ... arrgh.”
“AHH...”
When she was finished, she ran out to the SUV and hauled in the last suitcase. Edgar had hauled the rest.
“Thank you, Edgar.”
The whirlwind coasted to a stop, handed me an envelope and wound up again ... kitchen ... refrigerator door opened and shut and mayhem in the kitchen commenced. She came out with a bologna ‘sammich’ with every bit of trimmings she could find and a glass of milk. I was just opening the envelope.
The letter read, ‘Your turn. She told me about New Zealand ... Nine years old? ... Mom? If you run out of money Tyche will give you more. If you run out of patience ... tough. Zoe.’
The rest of the contents was money. €500 bills ... a hundred of them. Looked like ‘funny money’ to me. I had to look it up: I found that,
The five hundred euro note (€500) is the highest-value euro banknote and was produced between the introduction of the euro (in its cash form) in 2002 until 2014. Since 27 April 2019, the banknote has no longer been issued by central banks in the euro area, but continues to be legal tender and can be used as a means of payment. Each €500 bill is worth $550.
I had to call.
“Seven.”
“Mom.” She came without her minions. “About time you called.”
“You never visit. Nice to see you.”
“You’re always busy. What do you want?”
“Where is Junior?”
“Hi ... Hi Tyche. What’s up?”
Tyche’s mouth was full of ‘sammich.’ She just nodded.
“Junior?”
“Surprise?”
“What’s the medium of exchange here?”
“That’s complicated,” Junior said.
“Uncomplicate it for me,” I said.
“Legal tender is printed in Ottawa ... it seemed a shame to have an existing banknote press and not use it ... but they print only the higher denominations. The Princessapality recognizes American dollars ... in a straight across exchange.” here she got a little grin ... uhoh... “and the gold coins I had minted in the USA for Mom’s birthday.”
“Higher denominations?”
“Fives and up.”
“What about... ?”
“Dollar coin.”
“Okay ... what’s a five hundred euro bill worth in the Princessapality?”
“Let me check.” She flickered.
Seven said, “I could have done that.” She pouted ... and huffed a little.
Junior said, “$550.”
“Okay ... I have one hundred €500 bills. Can you exchange them for me? I’m pretty sure Pentwater Bank won’t have a clue.”
Seven said, “Let me.” She grabbed the pile and was gone.
“Well ... Junior ... I’m in the business of building Farr 3.7 sailboats. Interested?”
Tyche finished her bologna ‘sammich’ ... slugged the last of the milk and fought for breath.
She got it. “We’re building Farr’s?”
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Crossdressing