A Well Lived Life Book 4 BethanyChapter 7 Confrontations
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May, 1984, Chicago, Illinois
“Did you have a good time tonight?” I asked.
Kara nodded and smiled, “Yes. I had a very nice talk with Katy. She’s wonderful, Steve. She really, really likes you, too.”
“I can’t provide Katy with what she really wants, though,” I said. “She’s only interested in an exclusive relationship. She once told me that if I gave up all my other girls, she’d date me in a heartbeat, but that just wasn’t, and probably isn’t, in the cards.”
“I can see that. No matter who you end up with, you and Jennifer are going to have some kind of sexual relationship.”
“So it would seem, yes. Not what I thought it would be, even a few months ago, but people keep pointing out that basically I’m going to eat my cake and be able to have it, too.”
“I’d say! You’re a good man, Steve. And lucky. You have lots of girls who love you, and who are willing to accept you for who you are. Speaking of which, what was up with your shadow?”
I chuckled, “Penny? Well, she came for computer lessons. Things kind of developed from there.”
“You make a cute couple, though she’s pretty young, isn’t she?”
“She turned fifteen on the 22nd. We have the same birthday.”
“Interesting. Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes, Kara. And you don’t need to ask if you can ask,” I said, puffing my pipe.
“What’s up with you and your sister?”
“That’s pretty much over. She’s coming to visit in July and we’ll make love one last time, and then call it quits.”
“Is that your decision? Or hers?” she asked.
“Mutual. When we restarted, right after you walked out on me, it was different from it had been. I don’t think we need it any longer. It’s kind of been fading away.”
“Once you two broke your mom’s hold on you?”
“Exactly. The working theory is that it was a defense mechanism. Stephanie and I bonded so closely to protect each other from our mom, and that’s what led us to a sexual relationship. For Stephanie, I’m thinking it was her seeing how much I needed love, and deciding that it had to be from her, because my mom was such a bitch. For me, it was being with someone who unreservedly believed in me, trusted me, and loved me. I couldn’t refuse her when she came to me. Now? It’s run its course.”
“Good. I was never comfortable with it, obviously, but I understand why you two think you had to do it. I think it has to end for you both to move on. She’ll always be with you, even if you aren’t in a physical relationship. I can’t imagine the two of you ever being apart.”
“I suspect you’re right,” I said, and took a drag on my pipe. “It’s time to let her go and allow her to find a guy to spend her life with. And time for me to seriously work on getting my shit together.”
“That’s what the thing with Anala is about. I think it’s smart. You have been a little too free with your love in the past.”
“A little?” I grinned.
“I can’t totally condemn it, because I benefitted from it. I told you before that I don’t regret what we did, and I am happy that we made love that first time. I’m glad it wasn’t just a fuck, Steve. I’m sad that I made so many mistakes.”
“You and me both, Honey,” I sighed, “you and me both.”
“But we’re both working on fixing ourselves. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be together. If not, I hope you can be my friend for the rest of our lives.”
“That I can guarantee,” I said. “Hey, I meant to ask, how’s your mom’s boyfriend?”
Kara giggled, “I think Mom may have gotten things out of order again!”
I choked on the smoke that I’d just inhaled from my pipe. After a brief coughing fit, I managed to gasp, “No way!”
“Oh, yes!” she giggled again.
“And you’re OK with this?” I asked.
“Why not? My dad is dead, Steve. Mom should be happy. And why not? I mean if you and I can do it without being married, how can I condemn her? She needs someone. Just like I will in the future.”
“You really are sounding like me, Kara. I’m amazed. I just wish it could have happened without all the heartache.”
“It couldn’t have,” Kara said softly. “That’s one thing I learned from Doctor Mercer. Something had to shatter the glass case I was in. I fought so hard to keep it intact, when it was really a prison that I needed to break out of. I hate to say this, and I hope that you’ll forgive me, but walking out on you is what eventually set me free.”
“If that’s what it took for you to be a healthy, happy, free-spirited young woman, then it was worth it. Even if it hurt me badly.”
“It hurt me too,” Kara said, “Doctor Mercer compared it to surgery - sometimes pain is necessary for healing.”
“Very true. I’m so glad that I bought you that bear,” I said.
“Me too,” Kara smiled. “It really helped. Maybe we should get Steve and Kara bears together?”
“Or Steve and Kara together bare?” I teased.
“Yes. I want that,” she said.
“Someday?” I asked.
“No. Now. Right now. I’m ready. Are you?” she whispered.
Wordlessly, I tapped out the tobacco from my pipe, then took Kara’s hand and led her through the house and to my room. I shut the door and motioned for her to sit on the loveseat. She did, and I sat next to her.
“I thought we should continue our conversation in private,” I said.
“It’s too soon, isn’t it?” she asked, her countenance falling.
“I think so. I’m worried about you, Kara. That conversation was probably the best one we’ve ever had, except maybe that first night we made love. It’s a huge, huge step in the right direction, no matter where it leads. If we get in that bed right now, the sex will be out of this world, but it’ll interfere with our relationship. We aren’t ready for this.”
Kara wiped a tear from her eye, “You’re right. It just felt like we’d come to some perfect point, and that the next step was making love. But it’s not, is it? If we did that, it could mess up everything.”
“Yes. Making love at Christmas was necessary, and right. We had to prove to each other that we COULD do it. For me, it was like you taking me to bed after I confessed about my cheating to you. I knew that if I rejected you at Christmas, I’d never, ever have another chance to be with you. And I couldn’t do that.”
“And that was exactly the right thing to do, Steve. And so was telling me ‘no’ just a few minutes ago. I think you saved me from severe heartache. I want it so bad, and I want it with you, but the price I might pay for it is far too high.”
“I agree. We’ll have plenty of time to be together and talk during the fall, because you’re going to be here.”
“Maybe I should stay in the dorms? At least the first year?” Kara said.
“That’s up to you, but I’d prefer you lived here. It’ll be fine.”
“You want to watch over me and take care of me, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. No matter what happens in the end, I want to do that.”
“Thanks for loving me, Steve. And thanks for being strong.”
I chuckled, “You have no idea what was running through my mind.”
“Oh yes I do! I’ve done it all with you!” she giggled.
“I think it’s time for bed, let me walk you down to your room.”
“You’re the best!” she said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.
We left my room and walked to the basement. I stopped at the door to the guest room and Kara kissed me on the cheek again, then went in and shut the door. I returned to the now empty backyard and filled my pipe again, and sat quietly, puffing. It was just after midnight and nearly everyone had left. I pondered the revelations of the day. I had thought, earlier in the week, that things were simplified. Now, they weren’t. Except that they were. I chuckled at the contradiction.
If I stuck to the plan, I wouldn’t be adding any new girls to the mix and, to me, that seemed like it would indeed make life simpler. Certainly, it would avoid repeats of the Charlie, Carie, and Carla train wrecks. I wondered if it was the first initial that was the problem there! If I included Candace and Connie, it certainly seemed like a pattern, I thought, chuckling slightly.
“What’s so funny?” I heard a soft feminine voice ask.
“Just thinking about something silly,” I said. “What’s up, Katy?”
“You OK with some company? Or did you want to be alone?”
“Come sit with me,” I said.
“Thanks. Where’s Kara?”
“Bed. I just came out here to relax before bed.”
“Not the sauna?” she asked.
“I considered it, but it’s such a nice night, and it was quiet and peaceful out here. Well, as quiet as Hyde Park can be, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah. She’s really sweet, you know?”
“Kara? Yes, I know. I saw you two chatting earlier.”
“She loves you very much, but I guess you knew that, too. I’m surprised at how you’re handling things given what she did to you. I don’t think I could forgive someone that easily.”
“Who said it was easy?” I said softly.
“Ah, yeah, I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, your heart, or your gut. I can imagine it’s pretty much complete turmoil.”
“Yes. But, in the end, what value does holding a grudge have? What could it possibly gain? She came back, as a friend. I can help her get better. That’s all I want. To help her.”
“You help all your friends, Steve. Including me. You’ve made me see lots of things in a different light. Your love, your open-mindedness, your acceptance, your friendship, everything. I’m just sad that you and I have very different relationship goals. I can even get past the scores of girls that you had, if you didn’t have the one impediment that I can’t get past. But, I never, ever want to lose you as a friend.”
“Why, Katy O’Connor, you’re becoming sentimental. We’re not even in our Senior year yet!”
“It’s all going to end in a year,” she sighed. “At least this part of our lives. We’ll all go our separate ways. I can only hope that our paths continue to cross in the future.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ll know where to find me. Owning this house basically ties me here, barring some huge upheaval. Are you planning to stay in Chicago?” I asked.
“If I can. There are lots of possibilities for jobs here. I don’t want to move away from you or the other girls.”
“You’re always welcome here, Katy,” I said, tapping out my pipe. “Now it’s bedtime for me, I think.”
“Would you like some company?”
“If you want to sleep, yes. If you’re looking for sex, not tonight.”
“Did something happen that I missed?” she asked.
“Yes and no. It’s got nothing to do with you, Katy. It’s just me trying to sort out my life. Ask me in the fall and I’ll be happy to make love with you.”
“You are one strange guy, Steve. You know how good it was between us and you’re turning it down for cuddles? Whatever happened must have been pretty traumatic. Are you really OK? Or is this just a front?”
“I’m really OK. I just need to sort out some things. I turned down Jackie and Elyse quite a few nights last week.”
“I was wondering about that. You guys just slept together, didn’t you? And I don’t mean euphemistically.”
“Yeah,” I said, not feeling that I needed to reveal the previous night’s activities to Katy.
“Well, whatever it is, I hope you work it out soon. For your sake, not because of what I asked for.”
“Thanks. Like I said, invite me in the fall, and I’ll come to your room. Now, shall we head up?”
“Yes, we should!” Katy grinned.
I took her hand and led her up to my room. I started laughing when I saw Jackie sitting on my loveseat.
“Oops!” she said. “Sorry. Cindi has company so I thought I’d sleep in here,” she said.
“It’s OK, Jackie. You can have him,” Katy said.
“No, no. I don’t want to take him away from you. You don’t come in here very often, according to Elyse.”
Katy shook her head and smiled wryly, “Busted. But you two are totally cool about it. He actually turned me down, except if I wanted to cuddle.”
“Join the club,” Jackie said, not revealing anything either. “If you’re game, we can share. Elyse and I did that for almost two weeks.”
“I’ve never done anything even remotely like that,” Katy said.
“It’s fine, Katy,” Jackie said. “Trust me. Go get a sleep shirt or nightgown and come back.”
Once again, I slept cuddled between two pretty girls, enjoying the warmth and the love, and feeling very close to them. There was something to be said for this, something that Anala was teaching me. Intimacy had very little to do with sex. And that was a very valuable lesson. I fell asleep fairly quickly, knowing just how lucky I was.
In the morning, I smiled as Katy got up, peeked out the door, then hurried to her room. Jackie just shook her head. When I went to the shower, Jackie joined me and we showered together, exchanging a few kisses and hugs in the process. I asked her what had happened to Jamie and she said that he’d gone home about midnight, and that’s when she’d come upstairs and found the hair ribbon on the door that said Cindi was busy.
“I know Cindi’s voice,” Jackie said with a smirk. “and Cindi’s wasn’t the only female voice I heard!”
“Really?” I chuckled.
“Yeah! I’d say Jorge got very lucky!” Jackie grinned.
I shook my head, “Well, I did tell him to have fun with the three when I saw Jorge and Cindi with George and Charlie.”
Jackie and I went downstairs and started making breakfast. Katy and Kara came in a few minutes later, followed by Dave and Julia. I made enough waffle batter for everyone and Jackie made waffles while I made eggs and bacon. The six of us ate, then cleaned up.
“Do we know who else stayed last night?” I asked, as I was washing dishes.
“I don’t think Jorge went home,” Dave said. “And I’m pretty sure that George and Charlie stayed as well. Kurt and Kathy cut out about 11:00pm after dancing a bit. Jorge was putting on a show, as always.”
“That guy sure can dance!” Jackie said. “The question for Cindi is whether or not he’s got those moves when he’s horizontal!”
The girls all tittered at that comment.
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December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
April 5, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “You missed cuddles this morning!” Birgit said accusingly when I walked into the house about 9:30am. “I know, Pumpkin, but I had a work emergency and had to go see Aunt Joyce and Grandpa A.” “And now we have to get ready for karate!” “I know. We’ll have some family time this afternoon. I don’t have any plans.” “Good!” I hugged her and the rest of the kids, then went to find Kara. We hugged and kissed, and went straight upstairs to get ready for...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it. “Hi!” Sophie said. “Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house. I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other. “Is something wrong?” she...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...
March 28, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “This day belongs to you, Kara!” I said when the three of us woke on Thursday morning. “Happy birthday!” Jessica said. “Thanks,” Kara replied happily. “I think I’d like an amazing birthday fuck from our husband, and then a nice loving shower with my wife!” Kara said. “Do we have enough time?” I asked. Jessica giggled, “I set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier!” “Then let’s not waste any of it!” I said pulling Kara to me. Kara’s squeals as I plunged...
September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...
July 1980, Over the North Atlantic We reached cruising altitude, and I settled back to read my book. Pam raised the armrest between us, snuggled close to me and read as well. The cabin crew offered drinks, and I had my first Coke in a year! Meal service began about an hour and a half into the flight. After the cabin crew picked up the trays and offered drinks again, they passed once more, offering headsets for the movie. Trevor and Maria took them, but Pam and I didn’t, instead we turned on...
July 8, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Is it really that surprising?” Leah asked. “I suppose not,” I replied. “I just didn’t read too much into the kiss on the cheek.” “I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you on the lips with all those people around, because I had no idea who they were or what they would think. You were VERY careful with our dance, so I kind of followed your lead.” Which showed very mature thinking on her part. Both of these girls were exactly the kind of students I...
November 8, 1993, Chicago, Illinois A dark fog swirled before my eyes as I tried to take stock. My head hurt, badly. I felt something on my face and realized, dimly, it was an oxygen mask. My right hand was uncomfortable and I recognized the feeling of an IV and pulse-oximeter. My left arm ached fiercely. On my chest I felt the pads and wires of an EKG. I didn’t feel anything else wrong as I continued taking inventory. I tried to open my eyes, but the fog didn’t clear. I tried to speak, but...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...
June 23, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Steve,” Kimmy said over the intercom, “I have a Suzanne Aavik for you.” “Thanks,” I replied. “Put her through, please.” A few seconds later, Suzanne was on the line. “Hi!” she exclaimed when I greeted her. “I’m in Chicago for three weeks. Can I still run away and join the circus?” I chuckled, “You might want to find out what the circus is actually like before you join! If you’re free, you’re welcome to come to the house tomorrow or Sunday and meet the...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...
June 2, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “My office, please,” Sensei Jim said after class on Saturday. I followed him to his office and waited for him to bid me to sit. He did, and I sat in the usual chair across from him. “She has a real problem, you know that, right?” he asked. “I do. That’s why I insisted she start seeing a counselor.” “I run a huge risk having her here with that kind of temper and her violent acts.” I nodded, “I understand. May I ask what you intend to do?” “I really don’t...
February 21, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Sweetheart!” I said, greeting Bethany at the door. “Uncle Steve!” Nicholas exclaimed. I took him from his mom and he hugged me tightly. “Is Jesse with his moms?” Bethany asked. “Yes. They won’t bring him back over tonight so you and Nicholas can surprise him in the morning.” “Perfect!” “How was the drive up?” “The same as usual. Just a bit of traffic in Northern Indiana. Otherwise, smooth sailing. It was driving the other direction that was a...
November 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” Miyu said when Kara, the girls, and I walked into the dojo on Saturday morning. “Good morning, Miyu.” “Do you have a moment, please?” I nodded and we went to the small practice room for privacy, as Sensei Jim had a family in his office. “What can I do for you?” “I need you to meet a young man,” she said. “I think you might be taking this ‘not do anything without permission’ a bit too far!” Miyu shook her head, “No, I’m not....
May 1979 The limo dropped me at home about 9:00pm. I took my stuff to my room, stripped, and hung up the tux. The rest of the things went into the hamper. I took a shower, put on shorts and a t-shirt, and walked down the hall into my dad’s office. I saw no reason to put this off any longer. “Stephen, you need to explain yourself!” my mom demanded. “I was in Mrs. McGrath’s, well, Mrs. Sanders’ now, wedding, as I said.” “You walked her down the aisle! You’re sixteen and not even related to...
November 3, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “I still don’t understand why you told everyone to leave Katy alone last night,” Elyse said on Saturday morning. “Because we weren’t going to talk her out of it. I could tell by the way she told us. I hoped letting her sleep on it would allow her to hear what we had to say. Obviously I was wrong.” “I was surprised that she wouldn’t talk to Jennifer at all,” Kara said. “I thought Jennifer would be the one to get her to listen to reason this morning.” I...
February, 1983, Chicago, Illinois Our first joining since the previous summer was slow and sweet, trying to express our deep love for each other through the motions of our bodies. When we finished, Karin held me tight and refused to let me move off of her. “Sleep there, please,” she whispered. I kissed her once more then adjusted my pillow so that I could rest my head next to hers. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was what Karin wanted. The feel of her firm body under mine,...