Jokes and GigglesChapter 718
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Six hours of driving and I was bushed, even with the two hourly breaks it was very wearing. Unlike a motor car, the bus made a lot more noise and the steering was heavy. Our short trips to the beach weren't as demanding as they were only short hauls and I was fresh. Without being a sook, I took half a day off and did a bit of sightseeing. Two days later and I was in the Barossa Valley and looking for the vineyard I was to be picking for.
Finding the vineyard, I was directed to a spot where I could set up camp and connect to the electricity. The owners wife, a Mrs Rosso made me welcome and gave me the 'talk'.
"We expect you to work safely, no rowdy parties at night, we have young ladies working for us, you 'will' show them respect. You can cook for yourself or for a small fee which we take from your earnings, you can join us at the family table." I chose the family table, and what a table it was, there was room for a footy team and it's supporters.
The boss fitted me out with my equipment, a canvas apron, (grape juice stains) a bucket with a flat side and a webbing sling to go around my neck and a pair of secateurs. A quick tutorial on what to pick and I was let loose on the rows of vines. I'm a fairly fit person having worked in our factory but I soon found muscles I didn't know existed. When the bell rang for a break I was more than ready and it was time to meet my fellow pickers. The caravan next to where I'd set up Alchemy was occupied by three nice looking girls, who I found out later were uni students making money to help with their education. When we sat down for sandwiches and drinks they made themselves known to me, and expressing their admiration of Alchemy, (the chick magnet at work already). Shelly noticed my wincing and suggested she give me a neck massage that evening, something I was highly appreciative of. She also loaned me a wide brimmed hat as I was starting to show a little sun burn.
Back on the vines and I was starting to get the hang of picking, my hands were starting to ache from using the secateurs but I suppose I'd harden up pretty quickly. The first day's picking over, we all gathered around for a bit of a gab fest, one of the old timers asked how my hands were holding up.
"Aching like mad mate, hope they loosen up by tomorrow."
"Most of us seasoned pickers use ring knives Tony, they make life a lot easier and when you get used to them you will pick a hell of a lot more than using the secateurs."
He went on to show me a ring knife. The ring was a short sleeve which slipped over the index finger, the knife part was a hook sharpened into a vee with a blunt tip, a thumb stall prevented any misdirected cuts and also protected the thumb from the grape stalks. A nifty Idea and I wanted some.
"Where can I get them Bert?"
"Glad you asked, I make these in my spare time when we're not picking, this is my market place, five quid for a pair with the thumb stalls and sharpening stone."
I parted with the fiver and was keen to make a start the next morning. True to her word, Shelly appeared at my door ready for my massage. Whooeee! What a massage it turned out to be.
"OK Tony, Rae, Gina and me put our names in a hat and I got first dibs at you. Here are the rules, no getting too attached to us, we're here for a good time and want you to be a part of it. You will always wear a condom (whew, thank god Dad stuck a pack in the bus when I was packing). What happens in here stays in here, old missus Rosso is pretty moralistic and she likes to think we are all virgins."
I was gobsmacked, this was a new type of female I didn't even know existed, the girls from our town had their knees glued together. My one and only experience was a chick I met at the beach on our second trip, I think she was an Alchemy junkie. I hope I didn't look too naive. By the next morning I had a smile a mile wide on my face. Shelly taught me how to please.
"If you please your partner Tony, you will get more for your effort."
And how I pleased, and continued to please the three of them for the whole time we spent at the vineyard. These were three lusty ladies that knew what they wanted, sex and respect, I hope I satisfied them on both fronts.
The grape season over, it was time to hit the road, the girls were heading back to uni, the last night the three of them ambushed me. I was ridden hard and put away wet, if I'd died it would have been with a smile on my face. Some of the pickers were going onto citrus picking, other to stone fruit. I chose the citrus picking. I hadn't even set up Alchemy when a hippy looking chick made herself known to me, yep, thanks to Ray, the chick magnet was still working. It must be something in the fresh air, or perhaps it's just the easy going environment, but these ladies certainly know what they want. Sally and I made sweet harmony while we were together, the lessons from Shelly, Gina and Rae were put to good use.
I pulled into a service station to top up the fuel and water tanks; it was a one horse town and the servo was post office cum cafe, hardware and just about everything else. I noticed it was even an employment agency.
"Bet you don't have many jobs on your books" I quipped.
"We have one well paid job if you're interested, it pays four times the casual rate and it's for four weeks."
I perked up at the four times rate. "What kind of job pays like that love?"
"The dunny man has had a hernia operation and needs someone to do the heavy lifting while he recuperates. At the moment his brother is helping out but he has his own farm to look after."
(Rural Australia at that time was mainly un-sewered, the outside 'dunny' required a night soil collection, usually twice a week)
"To be a bit crude, sounds like a shit of a job, but I'm interested, who do I talk to?" She gave me directions to Barry Strains house. I tracked him down and we discussed the job.
"It's not a job if you're squeamish Tony, shit is shit no matter what you call it. If you take the job you will be carting five gallons of the 'product' on your head."
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