SaralindaChapter 48 Saralinda
- 2 years ago
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Hushalinda, Saralinda, Don't you cry
You're gonna turn into a butterfly
Pretty, oh so pretty that it makes me sigh
Hushalinda, Saralinda, Butterfly
Gentle rocking, rolling, rocking, rolling. So cozy, so comfortable, so warm. All except for that ache. Why am I so sore? Oh, it's just the waistband of my pants digging into me. Huh? Wait a minute. Why am I wearing clothes in bed? What the... ? Where am I? WHERE AM I? Awake.
I was not expecting what I saw when I opened my eyes. I certainly wasn't in my bed. Light filtered through green curtains into a small room. I was wearing jeans and a blouse with an itchy collar and my bra felt too tight. Was the room really rocking, or was it all in my head? Same for that deep throbbing noise – was that real too?
I tried to remember. I tried to remember anything. Then the knot in my stomach came back and I wished I could have unremembered for a few minutes longer.
But it came tumbling in on me. That night. I shook my head to keep those memories away. That bastard. I let myself remember making my decision, though. Taking the pills, then realizing that it was not going to be enough. If two are prescribed for sleep, four weren't going to, like, kill ... So I'd thought of the bridge. The hurried walk, standing there, getting ready to jump, and then...
And then what?
Was I even still alive? Unfortunately, I felt alive. In fact, I felt alive enough that I realized I needed to pee. I lay there a minute longer, putting off the inevitable. And then I remembered more: someone grabbing me and holding me, a car, crying and pain, and ... nothing else.
Maybe I was, like, at a psych ward or something. Maybe Harborview? But it didn't look like hospital. Nor a jail, not like I'd ever actually been in one. Motel? Didn't seem right, with just one twin bed. There weren't any motel rooms with one twin bed, were there? And why did it rock?
I gave up thinking and pulled the covers back, swinging my legs over, and sitting up. My head ached – would I get a hangover from four little sleeping pills? My bladder urged me on, so I tried to stand.
Either the floor really was rocking, or I was, like, seriously messed up. No, it was rocking; I could see the flowers in the vase rock too. OK – if it's real rocking, then maybe this was a boat. I'd been on a boat before – walking was just a matter of timing your steps to the rocking.
The small door behind me looked like a bathroom door, and it was. I didn't turn on the light – bathrooms have mirrors, and I desperately didn't want to see myself. I fumbled for the toilet seat, lifted it, undid my jeans, and pushed them down. Steadying myself on the wall, I sat, and let flow.
My pee smelled and stung. I peed a lot. Dehydration. Drink water dummy.
And then I was like, Why? I was supposed to be dead. Peace and quiet and dead. Why couldn't I be dead? I couldn't even kill myself successfully, not even with pills and a bridge to jump off of. Fuck, Fuck, FUCK. I felt tears tickle the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want anything. What I wanted was nothing, or really, nothingness. I just wanted everything to be over.
Sniffling, I wiped, pulled up my pants, flushed, and turned to the sink. Dixie cups, in a little dispenser. It was like I was a little girl again, playing with the Dixie cups in the bathroom and "slubbing" in the sink. Mamma!
Mamma. Crap.
I filled a little cup with water and drank, filled it again, drank again, and forced myself to fill it a third time and drank. I put the cup down, dried my hands, and left the dark bathroom.
Going over to the green curtains, I paused, afraid. I could just go to sleep and pray the Lord would take my soul before I'd wake. My fingers felt the fabric of the curtain, then slowly pulled them open.
Brightness – unimaginable brightness. I squinted. Startled, I dropped the curtain.
Outside was a railing, the sea, and a man. We were on a boat at sea. And the man had eyes that were like blue holes. Looking into them was like looking into the sky – like looking into his soul.
Morning came, and I was itchy to get out of bed. I glanced at the clock, and it was only 6:45, but I wanted to see the sun. Making love in the afternoon and again late into the night seemed to have tired Moira out. She looked like she might sleep until noon. I didn't want to wake her, so I carefully slipped out from under her arm, then tucked my pillow back where I'd been and slipped off to the bathroom. I showered quickly, and dressed even faster, just pulling on panties, a skirt, and a...
I woke up groggy, and it took me a while to figure out that Moira was telling me we were sailing through the Hawaiian Islands, and I should get up and see because it was gorgeous. I sat up, and stared glassy-eyed out the window. Vague shapes that could be islands were slowly passing astern. I noticed a glass of orange juice on the bedside table. "Is this for me?" I thought I saw Moira nod, and I gratefully drank a good swig. It tasted kind of funny, but I was thirsty, and I drank it down...
I was bored. We'd been in Fiji for, like, three weeks – in cabins on the hillside for the first two, and back on Furthurmore for the third. Gary and Kate had been gone the whole time, off alone together, trying to figure out whether Kate was going to get her groove back, or whether she was going to bail. Without Gary, everything seemed – I don't know – aimless. Malia was gone too. She'd stayed with me while we were in the cabins, but now she was a rather old freshman at the University of...
"Okay, now, honey – A three and a four and a –" A-minor, C-and G-and E... A-minor, E-minor, A minor, E-minor A-minor, C-and G-and E... A-minor, E-minor, A minor, E-minor "Great, keep going," she encouraged me. I was doing it. Well, kinda sorta. We were playing really slowly. Moira had her gorgeous guitar, and I had a cheap one I'd borrowed from Jake. And then she began to sing, while we both played along. Red Pomegranate, where power is born The Potion, for True Love White is the...
That night I managed to eat a little of what Michelle cooked for us. All the time I was eating, though, I kept trying to remember Mamma. Jake and Gary and Moira were talking, including a discussion of a possible trip to Seattle, and whether that would be a good idea. Like, what they would be able to accomplish if someone went? I gave up trying to listen, and instead tried to see Mamma's face or hear her voice in my head. I tried to remember her smile. It was sad how hard it was to bring back...
Jake was just putting this Scopolamine patch-thing behind my ear when Moira came over to me. She said hi, and told me she'd take me back to my room. Even feeling as awful as I did, I noticed how pretty a woman she was. She looked maybe thirty-five, but who can say with a beautiful woman. Long, russet hair hung down almost to her waist. Her eyes were green, and she was taller than me. She grabbed the rest of my soda and the saltines, then gently helped me to my feet. It was all I could do to...
I think Moira and I were a bit late getting to the dining room. Everybody else seemed like they were already there, and there was music playing and lots of wine. I thought that maybe people would be dressed up, this being a really expensive yacht, but I guess they're not like that. Moira had thrown on a long skirt with many layers of colorful fabric and a gauze blouse. She didn't even bother with a bra, and she's not exactly small upstairs. I guess I wasn't too surprised after seeing her...
I sat in the front seat with Gary, and Moira had the back seat. Gary made me wear my seatbelt, which kind of annoyed me, since I wanted to be able to turn around and talk to Moira too. I did manage, but it wasn't easy, with the strap cutting into my tits. We drove around West Maui, which is the smaller of the two blobs that make up Maui. Well, they are blobs – I don't know what else to call them. It looks like two biscuits stuck together, one large than the other, at least on the map. From...
"So you guys live on a yacht?" Malia asked me. "Yeah, a yacht or a ship or whatever. It's in Fiji right now. We'll be flying there in a few days to catch up with them." I didn't really want to explain all about why we were still on Maui after the ship left, and about Dr. Anna, and everything. But I told her more about Furthurmore, and about all of the people. "So, Gary's got himself a harem. Huh. Figures..." A harem? I'd never really thought about 'The Girls' being Gary's...
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Main Salma ek baar phir apne readers ke liye apni story ka part-4 lekar hazir hoon. Main aap sabka bahut bahut shukriya adaa karna chahungi ki mujhe ab tak aap logo se bahut hi achchha response mila hai. Main koshish karti hoon ki sabhi mails ka fauran jawaab deti jaun. Agar kabhi thodi der ho jaye to mujhe maaf kariyega. Par aap logo se yehi gujarish hai isi tarah meri hausla afzai karte rahiyega. Meri pichhli story mein aapne padha tha ki kaise Saira ne apni ungli se meri gaand mari thi. Yeh...
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