WHATEVER YOU LIKE
- 3 years ago
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I stayed and watched the Saints beat the visiting Lincoln (Nebraska) Saltdogs, 5-2 behind a kid who, I thought, looked even younger and greener than I did on the mound. But he was taller than I was, and had arms that seemed to hang down to his knees. Maybe he was physically better-equipped to be a pitcher than I was.
Then again, Pedro Martinez isn't exactly Goliath on the mound. It seemed to me that Sandy Koufax hadn't been a big guy, either. When I got back to the car, I found my Baseball Encyclopedia -- a little dog-eared from the stresses of travel -- and looked him up. Hmmm. Koufax had been six-two, and two hundred ten pounds. Not exactly what I'd remembered.
But I was a student of The Game. I knew there had been little-guy pitchers who'd made it big. Who was that guy, pitched for Philadelphia, back in pre-history? He'd hung around for years! Oh, yeah! His name was Bobby Shantz!
I looked him up, too. He was five-six! Five-six! I was a giant, compared to that dude! Shantz weighed in at one forty two! I wondered if he had been a hard thrower. Well, the book said he'd struck out 152 guys that one big year he had, when he went 24-7. Not bad! Maybe he was like me: small but fast.
Then again, he only had that one big year. Hung around for years after that, but never won more than twelve games in a season. Not too many innings pitched, either. They must have sent him to the bullpen. Well, beggars can't be choosers. They want to send me to the bullpen, send me, I don't give a damn!
I just want to play this game.
Ortega had instructed me to show up early Saturday afternoon for the Saints' getaway game, prepared to travel. He would arrange to have a uniform ready for me. I asked for and received permission to leave my car inside the fence at the stadium while we were on the road. I went ahead and left the car there that night, pulling my canvas suitcase-on-wheels behind me as I walked back to my new motel, closer to the ballpark. I could wait until the team got back to St. Paul before worrying about a place to live. Maybe one of the Saints' players needed a roommate at home, as well as on the road.
Back at the motel, I left the suitcase in my room and went out again to treat myself to a celebratory beer in a nearby neighborhood bar. From a quiet corner, I called Josie Fitzgerald in Baltimore. It was late: Almost eleven in St. Paul. Almost midnight, for Josie.
"It's me. I'm a St. Paul Saint, at least for the moment. We're playing a getaway game tomorrow and then leaving town for a road run to Sioux City and Sioux Falls."
"Wonderful!"
"Well, 'wonderful' may be a little strong. The pay is even less than at Bowie. I'm still living out of my car, and the bed in my motel isn't as... inviting as yours was."
"But you're on your way!" Josie said. Clearly, she was not having to force her enthusiasm. It was there, in her voice. It made me feel closer to her than seemed usual for a girl who, essentially, had been a one-night stand.
But just because you'd made love to a girl for only one night, it didn't necessarily make it a one-night stand. Besides, there were those other two nights: The one I'd spent on the couch, and the sex-free but quite stimulating night before the night we'd finally done the deed.
This wasn't going to be any damned one-night stand. Not if I had anything to say about it!
"So, the Orioles aren't going to be back in Minneapolis all season," Josie said. "Have you seen any other places on the Saints' schedule where we might get together?"
Despite Josie's earlier instruction for me to call her only when I had the team's season schedule in my hand, I had forgotten. "I don't know yet," was all I could say to her.
Weak.
"... But I'll call you again, tomorrow, soon as I know," I added hastily. "It was... quite a day for me. I just got excited. I forgot."
She wasn't upset. We both knew that a lot could happen before we were likely to find ourselves in the same state at the same time again. In addition, my tryout with the Saints could be over with. I might be released again, at almost any time.
If I was released, I'd see Josie even sooner. I'd look up the Orioles schedule, home and away. Wherever they were -- Minneapolis, Chicago, Detroit -- that's where I'd go, if I wasn't still hanging on, by that time, with the St. Paul Saints.
At eleven a.m. on Saturday, two hours ahead of the Saints' starting time, I was decked out in uniform. It was used, and a little threadbare, but I noticed it fit a lot better than the one I'd worn -- oh, so briefly, as a member of the Baltimore Orioles. I was now number 48. No name on the back of the jersey.
"You won't play today," Ortega said. "We've sent your name in to the League Office. You're probably already officially eligible to play. But you won't. So relax. Sit in the bullpen. Talk to the guys. Listen to Clint. Do whatever Clint says. He may want you to throw a little, during the game. It won't mean anything -- your getting up to throw. Our starter will already know about it, and he won't get antsy."
"Clint will teach me the signals?"
Ortega laughed. "What signals? Did you acquire you a curve ball, overnight? Learned to throw a change-up? You got one signal, kid, for now -- one finger, don't even matter which one. It don't mean "fastball," either. Not for you. It just means, 'throw the fucking ball!'... If we get in a laugher somewheres, we'll maybe give you an inning or two. We'll hafta be 'way ahead, or 'way behind. You get called upon, you just come in, throw hard and straight, and maybe you'll get by -- in this league. Later on, maybe, when there's a good reason to, we'll go over signals -- OK?"
I gathered I was going to be a spot reliever. Well, what did I expect? Instant starter? Ace of the staff?
The Saints lost the closeout game of their home series, 8-3. I watched it from the unfamiliar angle of a minor league club's bullpen. It wasn't located behind the outfield fence, as in the case of most major league clubs. It was just an open bench, close to the chain link sideline fence out past third base. But for me, it was a different perspective on watching a game. And I got into the action once. Clint Curtis told me to grab my glove and stand between the bullpen catcher (Clint) and the batter's box. Clint was warming up a reliever with his back to the plate. I was there to protect the two of them, make certain they weren't hit by an errant foul ball.
My previous skills as an infielder were being put to use.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota was a four-hour bus ride from the Twin Cities. It wasn't a bad bus at all, and I was seeing some new country. It wasn't that different, really, from being back in the Eastern League. Boots McDaniel, one of my fellow bullpen denizens, was friendly and loquacious and he was astounded when he found out -- from one of the coaches -- that I'd been up with the Orioles for several games -- earlier that very season!
"You really have played in the big leagues?" he said, awe in his voice.
"Barely," I said. "It was just an emergency. It wasn't my real shot, or anything... And I wasn't a pitcher. I was a backup infielder."
"But, shit, man! The Majors!"
I decided not to disillusion the lad further. After all, I was a mature college graduate, twenty-three years old. A former big-leaguer. This mere slip of a boy was even younger -- only twenty -- and his only professional experience was this two-month stretch he'd had in the American Association.
"I was only up for the Birds' western swing," I said modestly. "... Minnesota, Seattle, Oakland and L.A. I never even got to play a home game with them."
"You were an infielder?"
"Yeah."
"Get any hits up there?"
"I only got two at bats," I explained. "Bunt single, and an out."
"You hit .500 in the Show!" Boots exclaimed.
"Yeah. For the season, I guess you could say... One for two."
"Still! Still, Dude, you've been up there! Wow! Only other guys, on the Saints, who've been up are the manager and our left fielder, Coleman. You met him yet? Coleman? He's like, fifty years old or some damned thing! We call him 'Dads.'"
"Fifty? Really?"
"Well, maybe not fifty. But he's an old fuck! Forty-something."
"Who'd he play for? In the majors?"
"He got up twice. He was with the Athletics for about forty games one year. And the Cardinals for a little while, couple years later."
I wasn't surprised that Boots had such intimate knowledge of the abbreviated major league career of our ancient left fielder. Making it to the majors was a Truly Big Deal. A teammate who had gone all the way up was worthy of respect, however modest his career might have been.
This guy, 'Dads' Coleman, certainly had more to boast about than I did. How long had I been up? Eleven games? Two at-bats? Three fielding chances, one of which I'd (unofficially) muffed?
And the manager, Carlos Ortega. He'd actually been a first-string infielder for a few short years in the bigs. He was the real deal. No Hall of Fame candidate, surely, but a bona fide big leaguer.
"What's the story with Curtis?" I asked Boots. "He ever play up there?"
"Triple-A guy," Boots said. "Got hurt. Bad. Bad enough, he had to quit. So he never got a smell. But he played six years in the minors. He's been coach, here with the Saints, couple or three years, I understand."
"Has he helped you any?... As a pitching coach, I mean?"
"Oh, he knows some shit," Boots said. "He's smart, and he knows pitchers. He never was one, but, yeah, he can help. He knows about pitch selection. And how hitters think. Most of what he's told me, about game situations -- it seemed right."
"Pitch selection," I repeated, and laughed. "Carlos said to me, I only got the one signal from the catcher: One finger means, 'throw the damned ball!'"
Boots was shocked. "He really said that to you?"
"He wasn't being mean or nothing," I said. "He just meant, I got no pitching skills yet. I got no change, no curve. Not even a slider."
"I got a slider," Boots said. "It's a good pitch. Let me show you. But I'm a lefty. I gotta be real careful, how I use it. It breaks opposite, for me. Works better, really, for a right-hander like you. It can be a good pitch -- even for me, but, oh, boy, when you're a Southpaw, you gotta be careful where you put it, or it'll be just meat!"
"I've never pitched an inning," I told Boots McDaniel. "Not one. Not even in practice!"
"Jeez."
"Yeah."
"So how come you're a pitcher, then?" Boots asked, reasonably enough.
"Because I got no bat. Because they released me. My Double-A club, the Baysox. So I had no career. I was through already."
"And Carlos put you on the roster?"
"Yeah. No guarantees, but he's going to give me a little look."
"Fuck! You must throw pretty fucking hard!"
"That's exactly what he told me," I agreed.
"What?"
"That I threw 'pretty fucking hard.'"
Three night games in Sioux Falls, and then three more in Sioux City, Iowa. Nice little cities. Nice little ball parks. Less worn-out looking than some of the Eastern League towns -- and parks -- had been. And it was a pleasant time of year in the Upper Midwest. Mild weather, still. Small crowds, but the games were lively and well-played.
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Tuesday morning came all too early. I skipped my morning practice once again, but our showering together made it worth it. Despite that, we made it to school in time – and were nicely relaxed. Our entrance to the school area together, hand in hand, was not unnoticed; but nobody approached us, or asked questions. Our peace lasted for about the first fifteen minutes of our common history class. Then came the announcement that Miss Marie Moltalvo was wanted at the school office immediately. So...
“I was staying at a Marriott, with Jesus and John Wayne. I was waiting for a chariot; they were waiting for a train. And the sky was full of carrion. ‘I’ll take the mezuma.’ Said Jesus to Marion, ‘That’s the 3:10 to Yuma. My ride’s here.’” -Warren Zevon, “My Ride’s Here“ Sargento Hernando Ramirez listened to Generalissimo Armando Santori drone on about the fine job he’d done ordering others to mold them into Ultimados. It was a closed ceremony in Fort Ernesto’s gymnasium, and Violeta sat...
The year changed, and after a discussion with our doctor we decided that half a year of breastfeeding would be enough. Our little terrorist was more or less playing with Marie's breasts, rather than eating, anyhow. No, I was not that jealous - I had been very happy to watch Marie breastfeeding our Angel. But her teeth started to be quite sharp, and the task was sometimes more pain than pleasure. So, no more breastfeeding. Once Marie's periods started she would start taking pills, too. Then...
“Whoa, thought it was a nightmare. Lord, it’s all so true. They told me ‘Don’t go walkin’ slow. The Devil’s on the loose.’” -John Fogerty, “Run Through the Jungle“ “DIETZ HAS BOMBS!” Contessa Helena de San Finzione shouted to the walls of her study. Mander was with her and had been looking at the photos when she got the call from Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez that she’d just ended. “Most likely, anyway. Scott had a crate of C-4 in his Nazi Loony Room, little over a third of it left! He also...
When college started again, Ms. Fraser looked sorry to find me alone there with Lily. Luckily, she had no problems working for a single dad. When she asked about the possibility of Marie coming back to us, I told there was none. When I continued that I had a schedule that almost totally excluded the possibility of dating she blushed a bit. I knew about her nieces. Even if they were very nice girls I had no intention to start courting via Sunday morning sessions at the local church. No thanks....
It was a bit more than a week later when the weather had turned really bad. It was cold, wet and miserable, but that did not stop me from cycling. Two more weeks and the other shower room should be available again. To tell the truth, the occasional flashing did not bother me much. Add into that, the fact that me getting semi-hard did not seem to bother the girls either. Today there was no flashing, but suddenly that half-familiar redheaded girl collapsed as I was passing her with a towel...
“My jacket’s gonna be cut slim and checked. Maybe a touch of seersucker with an open neck. I ride a GS Scooter with my hair cut neat. Wear my war-time coat in the wind and sleet.” -The Who, “I’ve Had Enough“ “Marco Santori!” Contessa Helena de San Finzione’s shadow called from the doorway of the Taverna. The bartender turned off the music and everyone faced her. “Your Contessa summons you.” At the bar, a man dropped his beer and ran for the side exit. He opened the door and ran...
When I woke up Saturday morning, it was late. I was still tired, but I decided to get up anyway. If Lily was not up yet, she soon would be. Besides, we all needed breakfast. Not really knowing what everybody ate, I made a little bit ... well, uhh, quite a lot of everything, really. Lily was the first of the ladies to come down to the kitchen. Suddenly I heard voices by the door and then it hit me. I had promised to see my aunty and Beth today. Shit. I liked it when they visited, but I wasn't...
“From the depths of Hell in silence, cast their spells, explosive violence. Russian night-time flight perfected, flawless vision, undetected.” -Sabaton, “Night Witches“ The DM took out some pre-gens. “Ok,” he said. “Who wants the rogue?” Contessa Helena de San Finzione and Nigel Mander’s hands both shot up. Mander saw and asked if there was something with “a big ‘fuck off’ sword” in there for him instead. D&D had turned out to be more popular in the film industry than Helen had...
“Riding on this crazy train, I’m going paranoid. Watch me lose my mind and break the law. (Breaking the law! Breaking the law!) I’m a metal machine. (It’s close to midnight and he’s barking at the moon!) I’m a metal machine. (The rainbow in the dark is shining!) I’m a metal machine! (It’s close to midnight and he’s barking at the moon!) Unholy metal machine! (The kings of metal ride the sky!)” -Sabaton, Metal Machine Contessa Helena de San Finzione and Nigel Mander could hear the men in...
Before the summer we had one more incident involving Melissa. Due to the problems she had to face after her father's death she had hardly managed to finish high school. Partly because of those bad memories, she was not very interested in continuing her education, though both Lindsay and I patiently tried to convince her otherwise. Her lack of interest in developing herself irritated Lindsay even more than me. "But what do you intend to do then?" I asked. "I want to be the best possible...
I would love to say I had The Grand Plan: How To Transform Your Husband Into A Ravishing Fem-Toy, A To Z. The fact was, I didn't have a clue. It wasn't a topic normally covered by the Multiple Listing Service. I really didn't think the community library was going to be much help, either. I couldn't even find a copy of Feminization For Dummies in any of the local bookstores — not that I expected to. I did have the following assets: 1) a husband I flat-out adored who, apparently, had...
In the afterglow of our lovemaking, Danielle and I had talked long into the night. I was flush with excitement at the prospect of this exciting new change in our lifestyle. Our lovemaking had become the most intensely gratifying of our entire relationship — for both of us, at last — and I could only foresee it getting better. Danni seemed more ambivalent. I was concerned about it, fearing she was already having second thoughts about committing herself to this radical change. I approached the...
I looked up Bill Bowman as soon as we arrived back in St. Paul. Before doing so, however, I researched him thoroughly -- not only in the Baseball Encyclopedia, but on the Internet. I'd had only a vague idea of his past career in the major leagues. I'd heard of him, even though his career had ended several years before I had even been born, but I wanted to know something about him before we talked. Bill Bowman had never been the ace of the Twins' staff, but for about four years, he'd...
Josie arrived in San Diego early Saturday evening and called me on the cell from there around 10:30. Our game against the Mexicali Aguilas (Eagles) had just ended. We'd won, 6-3, and I hadn't been called on to pitch. I knew that meant there was an excellent chance I would pitch in relief on Sunday, with Josie in the stands. "If you want, I could come over there tonight," she said. "I've already rented a room for us here, but, hey, it's not very far. I could be there not too long after...
Make-up sex (if that's what Josie and I were having that night) turned out to be just exceptional. Well, maybe not. How can I describe it as "exceptional" when every night I've ever spent in bed with Josie was exceptional (at least for me). That old saw about "even when it's bad, it's good" just wasn't applicable, 'cause it was never bad. But anyway, it wasn't make-up sex, really, because by the time we got to bed that night, Josie's negative reaction to my earlier harangue...