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"Where do I sign?" Arnie said.
"Right here," Vera said, whipping out a contract. It was six pages long, with a lot of fine print and legalese.
"What's this?" Arnie said. "A contract? I thought you'd just have me sign a purchase order."
"Oh, no," Vera said. "We don't do business that way at Cloven Flour. We make a very special product, and we select our customers very carefully. We have certain legal requirements that are necessary in order to do business."
"I don't know," Arnie said. "I'm not a lawyer, and that paper looks like a pretty complicated legal document. I could be signing my life away here. Although," he said, laughing bitterly and looking around the empty store, "that's not saying much."
"Don't worry," Vera purred. "It's just standard boilerplate. No need to worry about signing your life away. We're just trying to help you have a better life, to get what you deserve." She let her eyes wander to Julie, who was bending over the counter, playing with her phone. Her ass was sticking out like a ham on a platter, and quivered and flexed as she concentrated on her game.
Arnie got the message. Julie liked the donut made with Vera's flour. If he bought the flour and made more donuts from it, Julie would like him. It was simple math, but Arnie understood the answer.
"All right," he said. "Give me a pen."
"Wonderful," Vera said, and she reached in the pocket of her jacket and pulled out an old-fashioned, ornate fountain pen. She unscrewed the top from it and, quick as a flash, she stabbed Arnie on the forearm with the pen, drawing blood.
"Ow," he said, drawing his arm back. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Not to worry," Vera said. "It's just a company requirement, nothing more. We like to sign our contracts in blood. It makes things so much more personal, don't you think?"
She held out the pen to Arnie. There was a little red drop of blood balancing on the point of it.
He was about to slap her hand away, and tell her to get out of the shop with this craziness, but then Julie shouted, "Hey, Arnie, when's lunch? Ever since I ate that donut, I'm so hungry." She was still focused on the game on her phone, and her ass quivered and flexed once again.
It was too much for Arnie.
"Okay," he said, taking the pen from Vera and scribbling his initials on the bottom of the page where she'd indicated he should sign. "This is the craziest thing I ever heard of, but if that's what I need to do to get more of that flour, okay."
"Wonderful!" Vera said, snatching the document from the counter as soon as Arnie signed it. She folded it up and put it in her briefcase, and her eyes seemed to gleam brighter now. "You won't regret this, I assure you."
"When do I get my first batch of the flour?" Arnie said.
"Oh, I have some right outside in my car," Vera said. "It's enough to make several hundred donuts. I'll put in an order for more right away, and you'll get it by overnight delivery tomorrow morning."
"Overnight?" Arnie said. "Listen, I don't need it that fast. I won't sell that many donuts by tomorrow. As long as the shipment gets here by next week--"
Vera smiled, showing her large white teeth. "Trust me, Arnie, you'll need the flour by tomorrow morning." She snapped her briefcase closed, turned on her heel, and went out to her car. In a moment she was back with a 30 pound bag of flour. For someone who seemed so skinny -- at least in certain places -- she must have been very strong, because she carried the bag like it was as light as a pillow.
"There," she said, putting the flour down on the counter. It was in a black plastic bag with red symbols on it that looked like hieroglyphics. Arnie thought it was strange that there was no label or address on it, not even a bar code. It gave off a sweet smell, like oranges dipped in honey.
"There you go," Vera said. "I suggest making a batch of donuts right away. Oh, you might want to go to the bank and make sure you have enough change in your cash drawer. You don't want to run out when all those customers show up. Bye now!"
She opened her mouth in a smile, but somehow it looked more like a leer than a smile. She turned and slithered out, her hips swaying back and forth and her heels making a clicking sound on the tile floor. Arnie shivered when she left, and after she drove off he said, "That woman gives me the creeps. You know what she looks like? A praying mantis. I couldn't place it, but I knew she looked like some kind of giant insect. It just came to me that she--"
He turned and saw Julie standing right next to him, so close he could see the two little rings in her ear lobe. She was looking at the black bag of flour with a gleam in her eyes.
"Can you make some of those donuts now?" she said.
"I don't know. I have a couple of birthday cakes to make. Maybe later."
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