My Daughter Is a BabysitterChapter 2
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Max staggered into class, paused, staggered to the side, paused, and then leaned against the wall. He slid down to the floor allowing the friction of the wall to slow his descent. For a full minute he just stared into space. He then slid down to lie on his side. All was quiet for a few seconds and then Max let loose with a low moan. After a long drawn out groan, he said, “Death by football practice.”
Jerry walked into class walking like Frankenstein’s monster. He reached his chair and looked down at it without moving his neck. He slowly bent down until he managed to get seated. He moaned and said, “She’s an animal.”
Tom staggered into the room as if his legs wouldn’t support him. He collapsed into the chair by the door and said, “I’m exhausted. She wore me out.”
Sid crawled into the room and slowly made his way towards his desk. He looked up at the seat and wondered how he would make it all of the way up there. He gave up and just stayed on the floor. He groaned, “Page forty two.”
Sean entered the room walking like he had palsy. He jumped at every little noise. His eyes darted around the room as if seeking some dire threat. He reached his desk and sat down. In a shaky voice, he said, “The horrors.”
Susan slinked into the class and sat down at her desk with a purr. She looked over at Jerry, licked her lips, and said, “I’ve tasted blood and I like it.”
“I need to heal,” Jerry said looking at her without moving his neck.
“Don’t take too long,” Susan said. She checked out her fingernails and added, “With These Chains I Bound Him To Me. I loved that one.”
Debbie bounced into the room full of energy. She sat down next to Tom and said, “Good morning. Actually, it is not such a good morning since I’m grounded until I’m a hundred and one years old, but I feel good. As soon as I’m ungrounded, you’re reading some more of that to me.”
“Yes, Dear,” Tom said lifting his head off the desk long enough to get the words out. His forehead made a nice thud when it hit his desk.
“He Dined and I Visited Heaven,” Debbie said with a sigh. “That was so good.”
Suzie came into the room looking from side to side. She kept her back to the wall and edged around the room towards the desk. Once she was near her desk, she darted to her seat and sat down. She leaned over to Sean and said, “My mother gave a copy of the book to dad. I’m scared.”
Sean just stared at her and shook. She said, “You don’t look so good. Do you need to see the school nurse?”
“No,” Sean managed to stutter. He said, “Sick world.”
Ms. Woodhill entered the class smiling at everyone in the room. She stopped and looked down at Max. In a voice that would have made a Drill Sergeant proud, she barked, “Max Baxter!”
Max sat up and looked around wildly. His eyes got big on seeing Ms. Woodhill.
“Get to your desk!” Ms. Woodhill said.
Max jumped up and ran to his desk. He dived in it and stared at her in fear. She shook a finger at him and said, “You won’t lie around like that in practice this afternoon.”
Max looked like he was about to cry.
Smiling sweetly, she turned to the rest of the class. She looked over at Debbie and said, “Debbie. Did you enjoy the poetry?”
“Oh yes,” Debbie gushed. She smiled over at Tom.
“Tom? How did you like it?” Ms. Woodhil asked.
“Mmmm,” Tom answered.
Taking in his physical condition, Ms. Woodhill said, “Remind me to tell Coach Slaughter to work on a program to build up a little stamina.”
“Umm,” Tom answered thinking that forming words using his mouth was just a bit too much work.
Ms. Woodhill turned to Susan and asked, “Did you find anything in this dull dull world that interests you?”
“Oh, yes,” Susan said. With a predatory growl she looked over at Jerry.
“That’s good,” Ms. Woodhill said. She looked at Jerry and said, “Your back is bleeding. Maybe you should see the school nurse.”
“I can’t walk,” Jerry said between clenched teeth.
“Okay. Maybe a little later,” Ms. Woodhill said. She looked at Suzie and frowned. Suzie should have been glowing rather than looking around frightened. She asked, “How did you like the poetry, Suzie?”
“It was great,” Suzie said.
“Why are you so ... nervous?” Ms. Woodhill asked.
“My Dad has a copy of it. I escaped before he found Mom,” Suzie said. Half of the class groaned.
Turning to look at Sean, Ms. Woodhill was shocked by his appearance. Worried, she asked, “What’s the matter with you, Sean?”
“I caught my Dad reading poetry to my Mother.”
Tom sat up and said, “You poor bastard. No one should ever experience that.”
“That’s sick. Parents should stick to age appropriate materials,” Debbie said making a face as if she had just bitten into a lemon.
“They’ve got Sears catalogs to read. Why should they read our stuff?” Jerry said. His comment was greeted with lots of agreement by others in the class.
“You can say that again,” Sid said from the floor.
Ms. Woodhill noticed Sid sprawled out on the floor. Bending down to look at him, she asked, “What happened to you?”
“Anita. She wore me out,” Sid said. Those long legs of her gave her some leverage and she definitely knew how to use that leverage to her best advantage. Of course, the oxygen deprivation resulting from having his head crushed between her breasts might have had a bit to do with his general weakness.
“I definitely need to talk to Coach Slaughter about building up these boys’ stamina,” Ms. Woodhill said shaking her head in dismay. “They should have able to last a week at least.”
She sighed and said, “There are advantages to dating athletes.”
Walking up to the front of the class, Ms. Woodhill said, “Let’s read some Romeo and Juliet.”
She looked around the room for a second when there was no reaction from the class. She then said, “Maybe tomorrow.”
Susan looked over at Jerry and asked, “Are you sure that you can’t manage just one more poem?”
“I can’t move,” Jerry said through clenched teeth.
“I’ll hold the book for you,” Susan said with a low purr.
Looking over at Tom who was now sprawled out across his desk, Debbie said, “Let’s skip school and read some more poetry. I mean, what can my Dad do? Ground me until I’m two hundred and two?”
“Mmmm,” Tom said. Forcing one eye open, he said, “I read ten poems to you yesterday.”
“We wouldn’t have had to stop if we hadn’t run out of condoms,” Debbie said sounding disappointed.
“I got home at three this morning,” Tom said. The world started disappearing on him. He realized that it was his eye closing on him and forced it back open.
“We’d still be going it if the nurse had given us more than ten condoms,” Debbie said giving herself a hug.
“My Dad yelled at me until seven,” Tom said giving up on seeing the world. It was just so much easier with his eyes closed.
“We can stop by the nurse’s station and pick up some more condoms,” Debbie said brightly.
“I need sleep,” Tom said.
Delirious, Max mumbled, “Football. I used to play football. Yesterday wasn’t football. That was hell. The Devil is a woman wearing a southern belle dress, a floppy hat, and carrying a little umbrella.”
Ms. Woodhill asked, “Max, are you making derogatory questions about my coaching attire?”
“Was my mouth moving?” Max asked.
“Yes,” Ms. Woodhill said.
Max said, “It wasn’t supposed to be moving.”
“For your information, it is a parasol; not an umbrella,” Ms. Woodhill said.
“Death by football,” Max moaned letting his head sink to the desktop.
The bell rang and Ms. Woodhill said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, kids.”
No one moved. She looked around the room and said, “Class is over.”
Principal Charmers came in the room and looked around. He cleared his throat and said, “Everyone to their next class.”
Jerry said, “I can’t move.”
“I’ll get the school nurse,” Principal Charmers said shaking his head.
“Good morning, Principal Charmers,” Ms. Woodhill said brightly.
Frowning, Principal Charmers said, “Two of your students may have eloped to Las Vegas to get married.”
“Who?” Ms. Woodhill said.
“William and Lucy,” Principal Charmers said.
Ms. Woodhill smiled and said, “They make such a nice couple. She’s so bold and he’s so shy.”
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
Ms. Woodhill said, “They say that the written word has lost its power in this modern day of television. It is nice to see that’s not true.”
“We had two dozen students skip school yesterday. Two of them have run off to get married and all you can say is that the pen is mightier than the tv?” Principal Charmers said looking at Ms. Woodhill. He had been on the telephone until three that morning dealing with irate parents.
“No one got hurt,” Ms. Woodhill said. She caught a glimpse of Sean and said, “Well, except for maybe Sean.”
“What happened to Sean?” Principal Charmers asked. He looked at the physical wreck that was seated in front of him.
“He caught his father reading poetry to his mother,” Ms. Woodhill said looking a little embarrassed.
Liesl
- 08.01.2021
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