Joys of AccountingChapter 17
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Ed BiggersChapter 16 free porn video
The summer sessions at college had ended and the fall session had not yet started. There were no major IRS cases that needed Ed’s attention and John was working on a small FBI case. The wives were hard at work with a new training program at the hospital that was sponsored by the Fusion Foundation. The net result was that Ed had almost ten days free with nothing major driving him.
Picking up the phone, he dialed the number for Kim’s lapidary shop. As the phone rang, he quickly counted the rings. At the fourth ring, he began to worry that she wasn’t there. When she answered before the fifth ring, Ed said, “This is the rock police. It has come to our attention that you have been keeping underaged rocks against their will.”
It took her a minute to process what he said and then she realized who was talking. Laughing, she said, “I swear that none of my rocks are less than a million years old.”
Ed said, “Well, I’m off for ten days and was wondering if you might be interested in hunting some rocks.”
There was a long moment of silence and then she replied, “I can go from Sunday to Thursday. I can’t afford to keep the store closed for more than that at this time of year. The week before the university opens and the following first three weeks are peak business times for me.”
“Why?”
There was a moment of silence and then Kim answered, “A lot of the college kids come into town and shop during that time period. Many of them are flush with cash for the first time in their lives, and they tend to go a little wild spending it.”
That answer actually made sense to Ed. He said, “Sunday to Thursday is fine with me. How do you want to do this?”
After a minor pause, she said, “Hold on. I have to ring up a customer.”
Ed waited on the phone for her to return. It was almost five minutes before she came back on the line. She said, “I’m back. I was thinking that we could go someplace close where we could take the trucks.”
Thinking it over, Ed said, “That sounds fine to me.”
Hesitantly, she said, “How about I come to your place Saturday night and we leave early Sunday morning?”
“That would be great,” answered Ed.
This was the first time that she had offered to come to his place since their outing together. He understood her hesitancy was rooted in her disgust at the idea of having sex with another woman. Perhaps she was willing to accept the presence of Kelly and Beth without expressing her revulsion at the idea.
They talked a little more before Ed hung up. He went out to the garage and found Bob working on the family van. Watching him work, Ed asked, “What are you doing?”
Pulling his head out from under the hood, Bob answered, “All of the little maintenance tasks that all cars require. Refilling the wiper fluid, lubing the bearings, and rotating the tires.”
That sounded like a boring job to Ed, but he didn’t comment since Bill looked happy at his job. He asked, “Will you be able to check out my truck? I’m taking it out into the desert Sunday.”
Bob had been considering doing some extensive work on the truck when Ed was not going to be using it for a while. He said, “That’s in three days. That doesn’t give me much time.”
Surprised, Ed said, “My truck isn’t in that bad of a shape.”
“I was planning to replace the gasoline engine with a fusion motor,” said Bob.
Ed had never really thought about that. He asked, “How long will that take?”
“It depends on how busy they are at the gas station. He can do it in as little as four hours, but he usually has a waiting list that is a couple of days long. After he’s done with it, I want to replace the dashboard, so that it has some of the additional electronic capabilities that are standard now. That’ll take me about a day.” Bob knew he was really signing up for some over time to get it done in a day.
Looking at the truck, Ed considered the fact that it was almost eighteen years old. He asked, “Why would we bother with a truck this old?”
Embarrassed, Bob replied, “I thought that you might not want to get rid of it. You’ve had it for a long time. However, the engine is about to blow out on you. It might go out in a thousand miles or fifteen thousand miles.”
Thinking about it, he still had the money from the last consulting job. He said, “Let me go get my checkbook and we’ll head out to go truck shopping.”
Bob said, “Uh, I should remind you that automobiles are household expense items. You need to check with Bill.”
“Oh, right,” replied Ed. He had forgotten that and now he felt guilty about wanting to get a high quality truck with extras.
Going into the house, Ed headed for the office where he expected to find Bill hard at work. Bill was at the desk talking on the telephone to his mother. Watching him from the door of the office, Ed noticed the worried expression on Bill’s face and let the man talk. Noticing Ed outside of the office, Bill excused himself and cut the conversation short.
Ed came in and said, “I just learned that my truck was on its last legs. I guess I need to replace it.”
Face brightening, Bill pulled out the household account book, and flipped through the pages. He looked up at Ed and said, “Well, your transportation account is a hundred thousand a year. You’ve spent a little less than two thousand in the past four years, most of that by Bill performing normal maintenance on it. That gives you a balance of three hundred and ninety-seven thousand dollars.”
“Pardon?”
Bill explained, “Of course, that is to cover all forms of personal transportation. You can use that money to buy automobiles and pay air fare.”
“Oh,” replied Ed. It sounded like a lot of money to him. In fact, it seemed like too much. He said, “What if I don’t use it?”
“It will just accumulate until you die and will be included in the money for your heirs. You are paying taxes on it as a benefit under the terms of the family incorporation.”
“So how do I spend it?” asked Ed.
After fishing around in a file cabinet for a minute, Bill handed him a debit card with a picture of a car and an airplane on it. He said, “You have to be sure to use this for transportation costs only. If you use it for something else, I’ll have to deduct it from your discretionary fund.”
Sitting down in a chair in a fashion that reminded Bill of an old man, Ed asked, “How much is in my discretionary fund?”
Flipping through a couple of pages of the accounts book, Bill frowned and said, “Um, you’ve never spent anything out of the discretionary fund. You have a balance of four hundred thousand.”
Ed asked, “What is that money for?”
Shaking his head, Bill replied, “Things like presents, clothes, decorations, furniture, and other normal expenses that a person has.”
Sitting back in the chair, Ed asked, “What other funds do I have?”
Bill went to the books and started reading out the figures, “You have two hundred thousand in your recreation home account, eight hundred thousand in your entertainment account, and zero in your charity account.”
Puzzled at hearing that one account was drained, Ed asked, “Why zero in my charity account?”
Surprised at the question, Bill answered, “You told me to donate all of it to the Fusion Foundation.”
“Do the others know about these accounts?” asked Ed realizing that he was two hundred thousand short of two million dollars.
Bill laughed and replied, “Of course they do.”
Ed asked, “What do the others do with theirs?”
Closing the account book, Bill sat back and answered, “Let’s see. Beth has a vacation home in Denver that she stays in when she visits her parents. That was paid out of her recreation home account. She pays for the Christmas party at the hospital, a dinner at the regional emergency medial doctors meeting, and a dinner for the literary society using her entertainment account. She supports the scout groups for the entire county as her charity account. She buys a car every other year and uses the rest on air travel. In terms of her discretionary fund, she sends flowers to about a hundred people a year, presents for all of the people that work for her, and other stuff for herself.”
“She does all of that?”
“Yes,” replied Bill. “Kelly has a vacation home in Santa Fe, which she lets her parents stay in for half a year. She pays for a dinner at the regional nurses meeting and a fancy luncheon at each Fusion Foundation nurse training session. She supports a ‘books for children’ program out of her charity account. She buys a car every other year and flies to Santa Fe twice a year. She uses her discretionary fund like Beth.”
Shaking his head as through trying to clear it, he asked, “What about John?”
After clearing his throat, Bill answered, “He hasn’t used his recreation home account and I doubt he ever will. He pays for the meals at the local Chamber of Commerce, and a visit to a recreation lodge every year for all of the heads of the Fusion Foundation Centers so that he can meet with each one in a relaxed atmosphere. He spends most of his travel money on chartered jets. He uses his discretionary account to send presents to about eight hundred people every year. Of course, he spends a lot more than that, but it’s out of his own money.”
Thinking about it, Ed realized that he had tremendous spending power at his discretion and would be able to do something really special for the family. He asked, “So if I wanted to buy a vacation home for everyone to use and charter a plane for all of us, then I would put a pretty good dent in that money.”
Shaking his head, Bill said, “No, that would fall under the family accounts. I’ll admit that they are almost unspent. I’m sure that if you presented that idea at the next family meeting, that everyone would all for it.”
Frowning, Ed said, “So you are saying that I have to spend all of that money on me?”
“That’s the short answer,” replied Bill. It was a little more complicated than that, but those complications could be mentioned when he started spending the money. He said, “If I may make a suggestion?”
“Go ahead,” said Ed, wondering what Bill might mention.
“I would like to suggest that you stop contributing to the Fusion Foundation and select a different charity to support. The Fusion Foundation has a lot of money and your contribution doesn’t add much to their efforts,” said Bill.
After thinking about it long enough that the silence had become uncomfortable, Ed said, “Could I impose on you for about four hours of your time this afternoon to discuss this?”
Laughing and shaking his head, Bill said, “I’ve worked here ever since you guys got married. You have never requested my time. You are owed about two years worth of my time. Four hours is nothing. When you are ready, come in and talk to me.”
Ed left the office, confused, and with four new debit cards representing almost two million dollars worth of spending power. He entered the garage as Bill returned from test driving the van. Satisfied that all was right with it, he stepped around to Ed and asked, “Ready?”
Nodding his readiness, Ed answered, “Why don’t you drive me to a truck dealership? I want to keep the old truck. Maybe the original engine can be repaired.”
Chuckling, Bob said, “We might as well take the van.”
Rather than stopping at one of the local dealerships, Bob drove him to a ‘dealership row’ in Phoenix. They stopped at a dealer and got out. Bob said, “You don’t want to get the high end truck they sell here. It’s mostly for show. The best truck is that line over there. It has power for hauling heavy loads, a large bed, and is comfortable enough.”
Surprised that Bob knew about the various lines of trucks, he was glad that he had brought him along. As a salesman headed towards them, Bob whispered, “Let me deal with him. As soon as he finds out who you are, he’s going to try to get the most money out of you as possible.”
Ed nodded his agreement. When the salesman reached them, Bob said, “I’m looking to buy a truck for my friend here.”
“So what do you want?”
Bob pointed to the truck that he had described to Ed. The salesman immediately said, “Now, this isn’t the top of the line truck. I’m sure that you might prefer that to this one.”
Walking around the truck, Ed looked at it and realized that it was the same size as his old truck. The bed looked a little bigger and deeper. He realized that the designers had not had to include a gas tank under the bed. The salesman opened the hood and said, “It has a long life fusion engine which is a variant of the Carter engine. It also has a Fusion Battery to power all the electronics of the truck.”
Ed noticed the small size of the engine compartment and the fact that the spare tire was also stored there. He went into the cab and sat at the drivers seat. The key for the engine was in the typical position. The steering wheel was in the right place as was the accelerator and the brake. The rest of the dashboard was a confusing mess of dials, displays, and controls. Bewildered he looked at it all.
Bob entered the passenger side of the truck. Sitting down, he said, “Since everything in the truck is electronic, they’ve managed to miniaturize a lot of high value items. This is the radio and CD player. This is the temperature control. All you have to do is set the temperature that you want and the cab will remain that temperature all of the time. You will notice that there is no off position. There is a GPS controlled navigation aid and a hands free cell phone.”
Looking at all of the gadgets in the truck, Ed was a little overwhelmed. He asked, “Can I get one without all of that stuff?”
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