Thangaiku Theriyaamal Amma Magalai Oothen
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"Right then ladies. Who gets the macchiato?" asked Deanna, holding up another Starbucks and peering at the name scribbled on it. There was a special ring of hell for those who wrote the names on cups at Starbucks, she decided, since she could neither read this one, nor the other one. The only one she could read spelled Deena, not Deanna. She sighed. It's not like it was rocket science.
The other women looked at each other and beamed. Not having to deal with Deanna's coffee was a definite plus, and from all reports, the Plan was working.
Deanna had called the team together, explained that things were going well, and called a celebratory meeting. Everyone immediately agreed when she suggested Starbucks, instead of her place. So they all ended up sitting at the Starbucks on Nightingale road, in Schaumburg. Even better was the fact that Deanna was buying.
Rhonda had gotten there just after lunch, and commandeered the couch section of the coffee shop, glaring at other people when they came to sit down. Eventually the others filtered in and took up spaces and they talked books until Deanna arrived, looking flustered.
"Sorry I'm late, ladies. Things to do. There was an emergency hotel situation with the conference I'm working on. The damn thing shut down, and we had to find places to stay for eleven delegates. All very tedious, I have to say." She smiled around at all the other women and then said brightly, "Let me get you a coffee or something. To say sorry."
No one was going to say no.
After the coffees were gotten, Deanna plunked herself down in the last free chair and looked around and said, "Right then. Update time. Good things are happening!"
"I'll drink to that," said Rhonda, raising her cup.
"Here here," answered Mae.
They all toasted.
"Right, give us the details. You ... enjoyed him, yet?" asked Rhonda, smiling naughtily.
"You know that's not the plan yet. Get him comfortable, before the onslaught!" said Deanna, sipping her latte.
"Yeah, but if things are going well, no reason to wait, right? You have needs too," smirked Rhonda.
Deanna gave her a look.
"Trey came up with something. It really worked out."
Mae looked around and then asked, "He's not gracing us today?"
"No, I'll meet him later," Deanna brushed her off, brusquely.
Mae looked steadily at Deanna and had some thoughts she kept to herself.
"What was the idea?" asked Gina, speaking for the first time.
"Well," said Deanna, conspiratorially, "he suggested we take up a sport together. Something on the same team, that we have to practice together. Something neither of us had done before, so we are the same ability. Something the family can join in. So we took up ... tada, Frisbee Golf."
There was a stunned silence for a moment, then Gina, struggling to get out her statement without laughing, said "Well, that sounds ... original."
"I know it sounds stupid. But we had the best time. It was great. The entire family together, laughing, being silly. It was like old times. Which is the whole point of the exercise."
"That's certainly good to hear, " said Mae. "Are you thinking this is going to work? What's your feeling here?"
Deanna put down her drink and considered. "I've been taking it day to day, mostly. Not really thinking about it long term. Just trying to make sure each event and meeting is the best it can be. You are right though, I need to take a look at Ryan, talk to him, see if I can get a bead on his emotional state. It's so hard to know with him, even though he used to be so open. He's so guarded now. I thought we'd have more to talk about after the diaries, but apparently not"
"What was his reaction to reading those?" Gina wanted to know.
"Well, it was weird. It was all very hesitant on his part. He asked a couple of questions about where I was when I was writing, what my mindset was, stuff like that. He asked questions about what I was thinking, but he didn't volunteer anything about what he was thinking."
"Did you ask?" persisted Gina.
"I tried, but Ryan has this ... way, about him, where he can put of you asking questions he doesn't want to answer. It's quite aggravating when you realize later that you didn't get a clear answer to what you wanted to know, but at the time, you often don't realize he's doing it."
Deanna considered for a moment, and then said, "If I had to guess, befuddled and bemused is what he is right now. He's not resisting, per-se, but it's just happening to him, if you know what I mean. He's not that much of an active participant yet – wanting to do things. He's just sitting back and letting it all happen to him..."
"Well," said Gina thoughtfully, "that's certainly a drawback to the tack you've taken. I mean, you are the one trying to win him back and overcome your ... indiscretions. It stands to reason he'd be at arms length. We knew that going in."
"I know. But I hadn't really thought about it in those terms till you just brought it up. I need to give him more choices – make him part of the decision making here."
The women all nodded, clearly agreeing with the assessment.
"How are you going to do that?" asked Mae.
"I have no idea," said Deanna, smiling at her exasperatedly. "The whole point of this approach kinda makes him making decisions moot. I guess I'll just have to find things that can be his decision and make him make them. Make him feel like he's more of a part of this."
Mae cleared her throat, and then said, hesitantly, "Deanna. I say this with the best will in the world, and with all the desire I can to see you two together again, but ... have you considered the amount of manipulation going on here? It doesn't shout 'respect' that you are doing this in quite the way you are. Have you really thought about this?"
Deanna looked at Mae in surprise, as did the other women.
"Well, I've been upfront with him about what we are doing and why? I don't really understand what you mean? We all agreed on this plan?"
Again, Mae took a second before replying, considering what she was about to say. "Deanna, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Telling Ryan 'I want to go away with you to Minneapolis' is a far cry from saying to him 'I'm giving you no choice this is a carefully thought out plan to get you hooked on me again, and you get no choice in it.' I'll bet you didn't say that, did you?"
Deanna looked confused. "Are you saying we shouldn't do this? Let it go?" There was almost whining in her voice.
"No, I'm just ... concerned. I think the 'what' of what you are doing is fine. It's a good plan. I'm just a little concerned about the why. The way you are talking about Ryan isn't the way a loving wife should talk. I think you are in danger of getting carried away with the what and the how and not enough of the why."
"I don't understand. We all know why I'm doing this. I want my husband back. I want my kids back. I want my life back. Surely, we all know that?"
Deanna looked in confusion at the other two women present, who echoed her face.
Mae decided that, on looking round at the faces presented to her, retreat was the better part of valor at that precise moment and just murmured, "Of course. I don't know what I was thinking."
Deanna, looked back at her, searching her face and looking for meaning, and after a couple more doubting looks, turned back to the other girls.
"Ok, so Minneapolis is a go. It's all set. Now we need to talk about Vegas. Because that's going to be tricky. Getting Ryan on board with the exhibitionist stuff is not going to be easy ... but it's part of me now and any relationship we have going forward is going to need it. Here's what I'm thinking – Rhonda, double check it..."
" ... so yeah, that was fun," said Deanna, threading her way through the crowd, with Trey following slightly behind. She was clutching a large stuff Minion, from the Despicable Me movies. It was obviously a knock off, but she was clutching it tight anyway. "You honestly didn't have to go win this for me."
Trey stopped, and did an elaborate bow, complete with waving his hands in circles as he bowed. "For you, my lady, it was nothing."
Deanna stopped and looked him up and down, before bursting into laughter.
"Yeah, right, sir Galahad. Are you going to be throwing your cloak on the ground when it's wet too?"
Trey looked up in mock annoyance. "No, I'm going to push you into the puddle, ungrateful cur."
Deanna smiled and held out her hand, "Well, gallant knight, what she we do next? This fun fair was a good idea. I'm sure the family would have a great time here. They'd love the cotton candy, too."
"I'm sure they would," replied Trey. He looked around and said, "How about the do it yourself Ferris wheel? It looks a bit rickety, but it should hold out?"
Deanna looked over at it and then said, "Sure. Looks like a squeeze, but I'm sure that won't be a problem." She smiled mock vivaciously at him and wiggled her hips. "Come up and see me, big boy." She said, attempting to emulate Mae West.
" ... Any ... anytime..." Trey stumbled out, staring at her.
Minutes later they were seating in the Ferris wheel compartment. It was a small wheel, and there was just room for the two of them. The rest of the wheel was full of high school students, all busily making out.
Both Deanna and Trey looked around, somewhat embarrassed at being older and not making out like everyone else.
"So ... lets talk about something. Anything." Said Deanna, a little desperately.
"It's funny," replied Trey, looking into the distance. "I was never allowed to come to these fairs when I was a kid."
"Really?" asked Deanna, looking over at him, fascinated. "Why not?"
"Dad didn't like them. Didn't like what he called the feebleness of the rides, didn't like the prices, didn't like the Carnies who run the place. Just flat out didn't like them at all."
"That's sad," said Deanna, after a while. They went all the way around in silence and then she said, shyly, "I loved them as a kid. I had my first sexual experience after a fun fair visit."
"Seriously?" exclaimed Trey, astonished she'd reveal something that personal.
"Yeah. Ronnie McCloud. First boob grab and ... well, finger insertion of my life. From another person." She said, primly and looking the other way so Trey couldn't see her embarrassment.
There was a beat of silence, and then Trey said, quietly, "Wow."
Then, hesitantly, Trey offered, "Mine was with Sheila Conroy. In the back of a Geo Storm. Late 90's it was. It was all fumbles, passion and total inexperience. I had no clue what I was doing. Still don't, according to the ex wife."
His bitterness was palpable.
"I'm sorry," said Deanna, gently. "I don't mean to open old wounds."
"No, it's fine," said Trey, when it clearly was not. "I'm over it now."
"Can I help?" asked Deanna. "Tell me about it? Unburden? Talking is good for the soul. Tell me about your life."
Trey looked over at her, and the wheel stopped moving, with them at the top of the arc, while people got off and on below them.
"Sure about that? It's a depressing story."
"Of course I'm sure," she said, softly. "I want to know. Please, let me in..."
"OK, well, don't say I didn't warn you. We were married about six years, and then..."
The carnival music carried on, and the wheel kept turning.
It was a long week for me. Lots of meetings, lots of sitting in meetings listening to our guys talk – there were five of us now – and argue and jeeeze, I thought carpenters were bloody-minded but game developers? They take it all to a whole new level. But what was weird is that these guys could scream and yell at each other and call each other names, and then shrug and go out to lunch and talk about TV shows like nothing had happened.
I'll never understand these creative types, but then I guess I don't have to. I just have to trust them. Which, frankly, is even harder.
Anyway. The weekend rolled around – it was a long weekend and although Monday was officially the day off, we'd decided to take Friday off as well. So I arrived home on Thursday night to find a) a strange van in my drive way, b) my kids bouncing off the walls, c) a bunch of packed bags in the foyer and d) my ex-wife, drinking one of my specialty Keurig coffee's, sitting at my kitchen table with Paula, looking at an iPad.
I just stopped and stared. Kids stopped moving and stared back, and Deanna looked up from whatever it was she was doing to the iPad.
"Ah. There you are. We were just thinking about sending out a search party."
"Nice to see you too. What, exactly, is going on?"
Deanna gave me a devastating smile. "Road trip. This is part two of operation Ryan. I did mention it."
"What?" I sputtered, intelligently. "I have things to do this weekend. I have important things going on. I can't just drop it at the last minute."
Deanna looked at Paula, who had a huge smile on her face, and was almost bursting at the seams with ... something. I don't know. Teenage girls are a mystery to me. Always were, always will be.
"Will you just relax, Mr. Grumpy? I know for a fact that you do not have anything pressing going on this weekend. Operative double oh fifteen here has been on the case, and reporting back to D – that's me by the way – and we have it sorted. Clothes are packed, I rented a van. We are off the Mall of America."
Saffron came racing into the kitchen, screaming, as Jamie chased her. "Dad, dad, Jamie won't leave me alone, he keeps trying to tickle me!"
I grabbed Jamie as he edged passed and picked him up by his legs, upside down, held him up, so we were face to upside down face and said, "Son, is this true?"
He said something really fast, so I shook him and said, "Son, be honest now. Are you chasing your sister just so you can tickle her."
His upside down eyes were hard to read, but he nodded, hesitantly.
I put him down. "Good. That's what older sisters are for. Go get her."
"Daaaaaadddddd," screamed Saffron, in that multi-tone way that only pre-teen girls can manage, hitting notes that do not technically exist.
"Out of my hands Saffie. Serves you right for having a little brother."
They ran off again. I knew I'd pay for that later – there'd be something placed in my bed, or the sugar would get replaced with salt for my breakfast cereal or some such. My children are nothing if not inventive in the art of reactive revenge.
I went to the Keurig and got myself a coffee, sniffing at the fact that Deanna had managed to have the last of my caramel coffee escapes – my favorite. And hers too apparently. Hardy surprising at how terrible the coffee she made was. I never understood that when we were married. How can you fuck up coffee? You shake it out of the packet and into the filter, you fill it with water and that's it? How do you screw that up? Yet, she managed.
Another upside of her not living with us; I didn't have to share my good stuff.
"So, Agent Paula. Did you pack for me, or did The Master Controller here do it?" I asked Paula, nodding at Deanna, a little concerned that the answer might be yes. I was prepared to roll with somethings, but that would be a step too far.
"Relax Dad. Nothing embarrassing in there. Although I do think it's time to replace some of those tighty whities. They are getting nasty."
I snorted some of the apple cider I'd just made out my nose. That is not the kind of thing a father wants his teenage daughter to be telling him.
"Well, that's a conversation for another day I think. Possibly several thousand from now." I said, looking at her sternly.
Saffron and Jamie came through the kitchen again. More screaming, only this time it was Saffron chasing Jamie.
Deanna was looking on with an expression I couldn't read. Like regret, pleasure and amusement, all rolled into one.
I sighed. "So, when are we leaving for this amazing shopping trip?"
I hated malls. Especially big ones. The older I got, the less I wanted to be around large groups of people. I've found that it doesn't matter how smart people are individually, when they get in groups of eight or more, IQ points drop dramatically.
I'm also not one for browsing. I know what I want. I do my research. Then I go out and I get it, and then I come home. That's shopping, Ryan style. Women? Well, lets just say that if at least ten different things aren't tried on, then how do you know you got the right one? Am I Right, Ladies?
But, like the lamb to the slaughter, I let myself be led.
Seriously though, I did sit there and think about it. Did I really want a long weekend, cooped up with the ex-wife and all the kids? How did it make me feel? I did feel somewhat ambushed, but then, I reasoned, if we'd not split up, this is something we'd be doing anyway. I had promised to let Deanna have her attempt, so what did I have to lose doing it? So I just let it go. It just wasn't worth the potential aggravation in being a pain in the ass about it.
So into the van we got. It was a nice van too. A Chrysler Town and Country, with leather seats and a 6 DVD TV thing in it.
And we drove to Minneapolis. All 12 hours of it. Complete with movies, singing, question asking; we always had this driving game we played of 'would you rather' - this was the first time Jamie was old enough to comprehend the questions and be a part of it.
There was a part of the trip where the kids were quiet in the back, following a long and spirited discussion of the likelihood of a fight between Pokemon and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'd learned that, apparently, "Pokemon Theories and Conspiracies" were an actual thing. God bless the Internet, it's such an enabler of educational discourse.
I glanced back, Paula was on her iPad again, and both Saffron and Jamie were out of it, asleep in chairs, pushed back.
I glanced at Deanna, who was driving, intent on the road. I looked out the window and remembered a time in the past, when we'd been on this road before. It was just after we were married. We'd just taken off for a long weekend, very like this one. With no particular aim in mind, we'd headed west, along i90, to see what we could see. We'd passed Minneapolis, and taken a quick afternoon at The Mall of America, and then gone on to go see the faces in stone at Mount Rushmore. It had taken us two days to get there, going through the Badlands of North Dakota. We'd literally spent half an hour there, when we got there – at the time the closest you could get was a mile away – and shaken our heads sadly, and got back into the car and looked for something else to see. Don't get me wrong, it's an impressive accomplishment, but once you've seen it, you've seen it. You don't need to spend more than an hour there to see it.
We'd ended up going over the boarder to go see Devils tower, in Wyoming, which was worth the drive. You could literally climb it, rather than look at it, from a mile away.
Past times, and our current drive was causing a lot of nostalgia. Which, I'm sure, was the point.
I looked over at Deanna, who at that moment was studying me. She smiled at me and said, softly, "Remember the last time we were on this road?"
I nodded. Then smiled as I remember some of the other stuff we got up to. That was my first and last blowjob when driving. She'd deliberately edged me, so I didn't get to cum, and it had not been a good thing, when driving through traffic. Terrifically sexy, but not good in terms of us not driving into another car. We'd both agreed afterwards that it was great, we'd done it, it was fun, and we'd probably not do it again, at least, not like that.
She smiled back, with the same sort of smile. She remembered too. But we had kids in the car, so there wasn't going to be any discussion of, which was probably just as well. We both remembered – we had the shared history; that was all the moment needed.
The entire weekend was fun, if I had to grudgingly admit it. We went to the mall, I managed to avoid almost any shopping. We did the Lego attraction; Jamie, Saffron and I did the Nickelodeon theme park in the middle, although I was convinced that is should have been a Charlie Brown theme park. When I'd gone to the Mall of America with Deanna I'd swear it had been a Charlie Brown theme park then. We did Sea Life Aquarium and Paula and Deanna went shopping and spent more than is humanly possible; Paula would be baby sitting for the rest of her life to pay back the advance she demanded from me to pay for it all.
The hotel worked out – we ended up having two rooms. Deanna stayed in one, with Paula and Saffron, and Jamie and I stayed in the other. On Saturday night, we went down to the hotel bar to have a drink together while Paula babysat, but it was mostly just small talk; no big subjects discussed. Thankfully.
Really, it was just like old times, except there wasn't the closeness or intimacy we'd previously enjoyed. I got the distinct impression that was the point though – to re-invoke familial feelings, and not jump on the whole "lets get naked" bandwagon.
It was smart. I could feel myself falling into patterns we'd had before. It was scarily easy in fact. I'd been without Deanna for over 18 months, and I'd learned to adjust. I still had a lot of thoughts about her – you can't have been married and have kids and not have a bucket full of memories that drag up at the drop of a hat – but I'd gone though the pain and – at least partially - come out the other side.
What was surprising was being back on the other side, and being re-introduced to our familial situation, and finding how much of it wasn't related to our individual feelings for each other. I could be comfortable around Deanna, be a co-parent with her, and everything that comes along with that, while having no romantic relationship with her at all. I was astonished at how much of the parent mode has no relationship to romantic mode. That's not to say that there weren't moments where, pre The Event, I wouldn't have smacked her ass and got a kiss, or threatened bodily retribution later that night for some imagined or manufactured slight, but there were less of those moments than you might think. Or, at least, it felt that way.
When we went down for a drink, I was quite nervous. Deana and I had never really had 'the conversation' regarding what she did. We'd never gone into it in much detail, beyond her video she sent to me. And I wasn't really ready to do so tonight. I still wasn't even sure of my own feelings. I'd tried, one drunken evening, to talk to Simon and Polly about it, but Simon had been sarcastic, and Polly vitriolic, and it was more about them expressing how annoyed they were than anyone really listening to me.
I knew that I could never just condone or 'get over' what she'd done. Our marriage, as it was, was over. There was no question about that, and I'd done what I needed to do for my own self worth. But now? Now the dust had settled? I'd gotten my life back on track, managed to keep my kids with me, and moved on. Mostly. I still hadn't really jump started the love life, and I was still a little puzzled at that. I'd tried, and just not been that interested. That couldn't be healthy.
Were there still left over feelings that had to be dealt with? If so, they weren't obvious ones. Did I want to pick up with Deanna again? Part of me did. She was a known quantity. I'd been happy – before I very much was not. She evidently wanted to pick it back up. She'd seen the value in what we had and was trying to reconnect. It was no effort for me. But the fear of being hurt again, that was there. As was my own self-respect, and lastly, a lack of trust. For almost anyone in fact.
In fact, the more I examined it, the more I saw how much the trust crack fault lines went out further than just the Land of Deanna. When she'd busted open that landmass, with her little earthquake, the damage had gone out far and wide. Maybe that's why my attempts at dating had just not worked out.
All this went through my mind as I sat in the hotel room, after having taken a shower, listening to Paula complaining about the state of her feet (My statement of "Well, if you will run around a mall all day in flip flops with wedges in them, what do you expect?" had been met with an eye roll, and a second stream of complaining. She was So Much Her Mother at times.) I'd dressed in the bathroom then just sat there, on the bed, listening to Paula bleat on and on, much like the teachers in the Charlie Brown cartoons, while Saffron and Jamie were in Deanna's room, watching some cartoon about a kid with fairy god parents.
Suddenly she stopped and looked at me.
"You ok Dad?"
I just looked at her, for a second, not saying anything, feeling nervous, miserable, like everyone had expectations of me that I had no hope of fulfilling, and wasn't sure I wanted to.
"Oh Dad..." Suddenly she was sitting next to me and I was wrapped up in her arms. "It ok ... Dad ... it's ok."
I wasn't crying. At all. Just wanted to point that out. Not even remotely. I was just ... withdrawn.
She pulled away from me and looked at me.
"It's all happening very fast, isn't it? Mom being back, us doing something like this? No one's even asked you what you want, have they?"
I didn't say anything again, not trusting myself to speak. Why is it my daughter doing this, and not anyone else?
"Dad, it's ok. If you don't want to go down and have a drink, stay here with me. We can watch a movie. Jamie and Saffie are fine in the other room. Don't let her little plan pressure you."
I have never been more proud of my daughter than right then.
"I'm ok Paula. I'll survive. I'm just ... not even sure what I think or want some of the time, you know?" I managed to croak out.
"I love you Dad. Whatever you want, it's fine by me," she replied.
I just smiled back and got up, one last check in the mirror to ensure I hadn't peed down my chino's, or tucked my jacket into the back of them.
"Off into the wild blue yonder," I murmured.
"Pixar movie?" asked Paula on the bed, tilting her head.
"Philistine!" I snorted at her. "Look it up!"
All that pride fled.
As it was, it was an anti climax.
Deanna was waiting in the hotel bar, a red wine in front of her and a beer waiting for me. She brightened with a smile as I sat down. She was dressed conservatively, but classily. Like she always did.
"There you are. I was about to send out a rescue party."
I grimaced and said, "It takes more than a days shopping to put down this hunter."
She patted my hand and said, huskily, "I'm sure it does. I have a good idea what does..."
I involuntarily started and moved my hand away. That was a warning shot across the bows.
Deanna noticed and said, quickly, "That was a joke, Ryan. While I would not be averse to a little bedroom play, we have kids to consider here, and I don't think either one of us is really ready for that. That time will come."
She stopped, looked more closely at me, and then said, "And I can see you are worried. Don't worry Ryan. I'm not here to propose to you, nor am I here to cross-examine you. Or me for that matter. They'll come a time for that, but not now. Now, lets just enjoy an evening of company and stuff, ok? No one needs to bare their soul – or anything else – tonight. Take the pressure off yourself."
With that somewhat reassuring statement, she turned the conversation to another area, that of conference development, where she went on and on about how hard it was to make girls show up for conferences on time. Apparently women who are paid to be pretty don't tend to imagine they are paid for anything else, like being anywhere on time for example.
It was a pleasant night, as I said earlier. We talked, had a few laughs, a little reminiscing, staying very far away from the danger areas. At the very least, it proved we could be in the same space for a prolonged time and I'd not want to kill her, which was a step above where I'd been for the most of the past 18 months.
I did at one point ask her about the people who were helping her.
"Who are these guys? How did you meet them?"
"You won't really believe it. Jim – our therapist? Remember him? – talked about a support network. I mean, all I had that the time was Melissa, and she's ... well, I love my sister, but she's not supportive of anyone. You know what I mean. Way too damaged. Crystal wouldn't speak to me, although honestly, what she'd have to say that I could keep a straight face to, I don't know. So I went looking. I found them on Craigslist, of all things."
"Seriously? What did their ad look like?"
"Oh it was titled something like "Post Cheater Support network' or something like that. They made it plain in the ad that it was women only, and not dedicated to just going out to find more people to fuck. I mean, you take that risk right? Like some AA groups are really about finding more effective ways to hide your drinking? I did worry a bit. But I called them, talked to Mae, who started the group, and met them and, well, we meet once a week or so. Talk about all sorts of stuff, with the whole recovery thing mixed in. It's like a social club where everyone is tied together because of what they did."
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Chapter 11: Althea, the School Girl The infernal screeching of the alarm clock awoke Cal from his reverie. He had been up for about a half-hour, but he had only been lying in bed next to the love of his life. Althea's arms were still clutched about him as he stealthily clicked the snooze button, assuming that it was six o' five in the morning, his usual waking time during the school week. He had been thinking long and hard about the previous two nights. Evan... what have you become? He...
edited by Master Ken Wednesday, September 4th, 2013 "Hi, I am Miss Blythe," I said to my class, writing my name on the whiteboard with a red dry-erase marker. "I will be your World History teacher." It was the first day of the new school year and, as I launched into the course syllabus, my thoughts kept drifting to that day in June at the end of the last term, when my Living God, the Holy Mark Glassner, walked into this very classroom and changed my very outlook on life. I didn't know...
The the wind howled around the quayside as I stepped onto terra firma for the first time in weeks, the wind threw sharp shards of ice to sting our faces as we looked up at the sails as they were finally furled and stowed as our captain grinned at our discomfiture, "Au revoir!" he joked as if he knew we should soon be recalled. Those such as were left, and we were few enough, I shuddered. My best uniform packed securely in my Valise, awaited me, and just a few more duties before I...
As he approached one of the hall's long mirrors he stopped to inspect himself. It was a familiar sight, the flowing, billowy French maid outfit surrounding his body. His arms and legs were outlined in silky, white stockings and arm-gloves. He wore pearl earrings and the lacy white collar around his neck was adorned with a beautiful pendant. It was a gift from mother that he wore every day, without fail. Jon's painted red lips and neatly applied eyeliner and blush were evidence that he was...
PREFACE:There are no sex acts in the story but the patient does have an orgasm as a result of the Ther****t’s physical examination. Part 1 is the Sex Therapy appointment from the patient’s point of view and part 2 is the same examination seen through the eyes of the Ther****t. I don’t think it matters which one you read first.I hope you enjoy it and will let me know what you think in any...
Katherine stepped into her elegant living room and took a book from the shelf. She sat in a plush lounge chair, specifically selecting a chair in the back corner of the room next to an old dumbwaiter that was once used to ferry delicious meals from the downstairs kitchen to the dining room table. She planned to read the book for a short while, but she already knew her attention would soon be diverted. Tonight the dumbwaiter would once again be placed into service, except this time it would be...
Do you know of the porn site Motherless.com? You should. I’ve reviewed it a few times on my site, The Porn Dude, although it was for different genres every time. This time around, I’m going back to this place and looking at a specific and niche little category many of you are just begging me to cover. We’re looking at vintage porn today. While it doesn’t have the same resolution and quality as the porn you can find today, it’s definitely a genre of porn that has a lot of personality to it and...
Vintage Porn SitesI should have known better. I should have remembered that old saying, "If it looks too good to be true, it is." I was in love. She was damned near all I thought about with the exception of my studies and it didn't make sense to me. I prided myself on my intellect and my ability to think logically, but there wasn't anything logical about the way I felt about Althea. She was beautiful, smart and very popular and I was not. I wasn't a bed looking guy, but I was nothing exceptional. I was...
Motherless. A one-word website title that says everything it needs to say. This is a site where the rules are, more or less, completely thrown out the window, morality means absolutely nothing, and there is nobody to save you from it. Hedonism is God here.The site likely is also called this due to the fact that the girls who end up on motherless.com likely have no positive female influence in their lives to keep them from it. Motherless is the place parents spend their whole lives fearing that...
Porn Pictures SitesI always considered Motherless the “4chan” of porn. Not only because Motherless was somewhat popularized there, but because Motherless also encourages users to share their own content in a very open way. This means minimal bullshit like moderation and censorship, and a strong “anything goes” attitude that leads to free and extreme content. It encourages people to create and upload their own homegrown content, like videos of their girlfriend pissing or spycam videos of their cousin....
Amateur Porn SitesWhat is it about Motherless that makes me fucking cum every time? Maybe it is how raw and amateur the porn on the site comes across as, or the content is just that fucking hot. Perhaps it is the fact that there is an astronomical amount of pornography just waiting for a dumb fuck like you to beat off to! I really don’t know, and frankly, I’m not going to pretend that I do.But what I do know is that if you love BBWs, the Motherless.com homepage will not be of much use! Preferably, head on over...
BBW Porn SitesHave you ever heard about a website called Motherless? Home to all kinds of kinky porn niches, with a side of the mainstream crap? If you are into some questionable fap content, you might want to check this website out. Plus, Motherless is a free porn website, so you can browse as much as you fucking want. Now, I am not really here to talk about the website in general… I am here to tell you about their amazing category, called voyeur porn.The world of voyeur fucking is a rather interesting one....
Voyeur Porn SitesClothesline[This story is part of the Leather in Lawnville series.] Clothesline By DuskPetersonYou can tell a lot about a guy from where he shops. Take my friends, who have specialized tastes. Some of them spend their time at the hardware store, while others take an interest in our town's fabric shop, which has needles and pins that make them drool. Still others hang out at the department store, eyeing the cutlery collection. Somehow all of us end up rubbing shoulders at the town's jacket...
The Five Kingdoms of Arstoria had been embroiled in the Great Ancient War for centuries. The war came to an end when Kalace, the Wizard King conquered the five lands and brought them under his rule. Kalace, the Wizard King of Arstoria, conquered all of his opponents who were unable to deal with his overpowering magic. When Kalace had united the five kingdoms, he brought peace to the warring kingdoms and was revered and celebrated by his later generation. Kalace, however, had a dark weakness in...
FantasyWoah, did Motherless.com get a facelift? I know I suggested it in my review, so I guess they listened to me! Well, I’m not going to brag too much about it, and instead, I’m going to focus on what I’ve set out to bring you today. We’re looking at an amateur website, and I just know that many of you are begging for amateur creampie content, so that’s what we’re looking at. I know how much you think Motherless can look sickening and pretty gruesome at times, but the creampie content can be quite...
Creampie Porn SitesNo matter what type of porn you may be in the market for, Motherless has an ample supply of it, and cucking is no different. Actually, this might help to explain how you ended up being such a pussy little cuck.The journey that brought you to my website reading cuck porn reviews started in your childhood. A fair portion of my readership is actually motherless. Why, you ask? Your guys' moms chose a life of cucking and riding cock instead of raising you fucks properly.Don't worry, gents. I'm in...
Cuckold Porn SitesI browsed the horror stash at Motherless all morning, and now I don’t know if I should jack off or go hide in the closet until the danger has passed. Then again, hiding out might give me the perfect opportunity to rub one out in the peace and safety of the dark. Who knows who—or what—might be peeping in the windows with nefarious intent if I sit at my desk and shake my dick at the screen. Just like when I masturbate at the local Starbucks, I’ve got to be sure to balance the potential pleasure...
Extreme Porn WebsitesIncest porn has been a staple of pornography since the very first incel caveman realized that he couldn’t find fresh pussy out and about. He resorted to sniffing a whiff of his mother’s loincloth when she wasn’t looking, and beating his old cave meat into a leather sock.Now personally I’m not into the whole mommy-son dynamic – I’m a classy guy. But it’s no secret people like to get freaky when the lights go out, and if you’ve got a stiffy in your hand and you’re on Motherless, you gotta go...
Incest Porn SitesHi friends, indru tamil kama kathaiyil en sontha thangaiyai epadi oothen endra kudumba tamil kama kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. Vaarungal tamil kama kathaikul selalam, en peyar prathap vayathu 28 aagugirathu. Enaku oru thangi irukiraal aval peyar mala vayathu 26 aagugirathu, avaluku innum thirumanam seiya vilai Avaluku thirumanam seithu vaikum alavirku engal idam ipozhuthu panam ilai, loan apply seithu atharkaaga kathukondu irukirom. Naan oru kama veriyan eppozhuthu pen kidaikum avargalai...
My name is Rebecca. Everyone calls me Becca. I entered the police department right out of college. I progressed rapidly, through different divisions and assignments. I always had my eyes set on Robbery-Homicide and after six years of hard word and dedication, I finally made it. At age thirty, I was youngest female in the division for such a coveted assignment, but I was superb at my job. I made it because of my skill not my gender. It was Saturday. Dispatch called our number just after we had...
TabooThanks to my usual cast and crew of Editors and Advance Readers, most of whom prefer to pretend that they don’t know me and wisely wish to take no responsibility for any part of my addled writings... Il n’est rien de réel que le rêve et l’amour - Nothing is real but dreams and love (from Le Coeur innombrable, IV, Chanson du temps opportun by Anna de Noailles) She was my one true mistress and ever faithful lover, my Green Lady and guardian of my dreams and now that I was back home...
Hi friends, indru kathaiyil en nanbanai kathal seithu emathiriya pennai ootha kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. En tamil kathaiyai inaiya thalathil pathivu seithatharku nandri, en peyar pradeep vayathu 21 aagugirathu. En nanbanai oru pen kathal seithu matter mudinthathum kayati vitu vitaal, athanaal naan avalai usar seithu hardcore seiyanum endru mudithu seithen. En nanban enaku nanban endru kanbithukolamal aval idam muthal muthalil pesi pazhaga aarambithen. Aval pathini pola en idam nadika...
Hi friends, indru tamil kama kathaiyil en kanavanuku theriyamal ilamaiyaana kaal kathalanai eppadi love seithen endra kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. Vaarungal tamil kama kathaikul selalam, enathu peyar jaya vayathu 36 agugirathu. Enaku thirumanam aagi oru paiyan irukiraan pinbu en kanavanuku vayathu 42 agugirathu. Naan santhoshamaaga thaan vaazhnthu vanthukondu irunthen, naan oru teacheraaga velai paarthu varugiren. Naan velai seiyum classku arugil oru veedu irukirathu, antha veetil oru...
My name is Anthony and I am twenty-two years old. I have extra-long dark hair and darker eyes. I tie my hair into a ponytail and have a close trimmed beard. I look handsome and enjoy keeping myself in shape. I am a lucky guy as I have a very sexy girlfriend who is two years older than me. Zoe and I met at a mutual friend’s party and hit it off right away. She has short blonde hair and blue eyes. Her small beautiful mouth sits beneath a cute button nose. All in all, Zoe is a goddess and I love...
CrossdressingHi friends, indru sex kathaiyil auntyai usar seithu eppadi matter adithen enbathai ungalidam pagirugiren. En peyar Seenu. Vayathu 21 aagugirathu. Naan ithu naal varai entha penaiyum sex seithathu kidaiyaathu. Naan engineering padithu varugiren, enathu nanbargal oru naal theaterku ennai azhaithaargal. Naangal neraga bar seithu saraku adithom, appozhuthu bagubali padam oodi kondu irunthathu. Naangal oru gramathil irukum theaterku sendru irunthom. Angu pothuvaga pengal athigam vara matargal,...
When the car with Jake in it became a dot on the horizon, Thea turned to go back in the house. Suddenly Floyd appeared. “Mrs. Thea, how you be?” Smiling, she knew immediately what he wanted. He had that look and a glance at his crotch confirmed it. The imprint of his cock was prominent as it pushed against the material. “Looks like everyone is gone.” Floyd said. His eyes looking out over the farm. “Yes, I am by myself for at least the next few days.” She replied in an...
“Well, hell,” Thea said as she wiped the beads of perspiration from her face. “I guess ‘spring’ is here, huh?” “Yeah. It’s supposed to be cooler at higher elevation,” I replied. We took a few minutes in the shade by the rocks before rejoining our boyfriends. The four of us had driven up into the pass to hike. According to the weather report, the last coolness of a fading winter was supposed to continue through mid-week, but they were wrong. Actually, from our view from Eagle Point, where we’d...
Motherless.com! What an original name for a porn site, don't you think? The title doesn't fuck around: your mother would never allow you to watch the kind of filth they’ve got on tap. They pride themselves on being a moral-free zone for sick fucks, where you can find damn near anything. I’m talking about desperate chicks fucking anything that resembles a dick and crazy bitches literally eating shit. When you’re done fapping to the weird vids, you can even find "normal" porno to pass the time....
Free Porn Tube SitesAh, motherless, here we are again. A site known for offering such a variety, that no matter how fucked up your needs are, there is a high chance that you will fulfill them here. However, I am not here to blab about the site in general; I am here to talk about one particular category, interracial. As for those who want to know more about the site, there is a whole different review on my website instead.As for those who came here to learn more about that interracial lovemaking, I got your back....
Interracial Porn SitesTherese looked at the scene before her. Her father and brother naked, her grandfather’s cock sticking out of his trousers and her grandmother eating her mother’s cunt, both of us naked. Beth with the camera, filming. “God, the slut is only in the door and she’s gone sex mad.” she said referring to me. She went and sat on the arm of her father’s chair putting her arm around him and kissing him on the cheek. My father was now hard again. He pushed my mother out of the way and started to fuck me...
Three months later, the sound of laughter made Thea Barton look up. The now twenty year -old blond-headed beauty was in the living room reading when she heard it. Recognizing the voice of Uncle Dan, she smiled as she waited to see whom he was going to be with. When the laughter grew louder, she smiled. Ah, yes! It was Irene, her now very good friend! Uncle Dan seemed to prefer her to the others. Her being married seemed to make no difference to all concerned parties. Thea smiled to herself,...
This week’s show begins with that same old rusty bedstead, and that same old dirty mattress. Pausing to take in the magnificent filthiness of it, then pulling back to reveal the bare concrete floor around it, and to take in the harsh lighting. And then we hear our guest of the week approaching, quick little footsteps ... Light clicks on the studio floor. We pan round to see what we’ve got this week and see a slight, pale, small-boobed lady walking in quick, short strides ... She’s not is a...
Hi, guys. It’s been a long time on ISS. I was away from the city. I hope you did like my other two stories(true incidents) which I had written. This is the next encounter I had with my aunt who was all alone and needed a little love for her. Her name is Bethesda and lived her whole life alone after her husband married another woman. I do have a lust for her and want her so badly. She is 45 years old and looks bomb. She got a good voluptuous body and looks like a brunette. As for me, I’m six...
IncestMy name is Anthony; I am twenty-two years old and live with my beautiful girlfriend Zoe. As you have read I have dark hair and dark eyes and I am clean shaven. Zoe is older than I am by a couple of years and is the driving force of our relationship. I am what many call a cross-dresser: a guy that gets great sexual satisfaction from dressing in women’s clothing.Of course, my girlfriend knows all about my cross-dressing. In fact, she encourages me to cross-dress. Once a week, generally on a...
ToysTheo had been changing into the squirrel too much, he knew that now... as a pulse of heat raced through his body from his groin. He realized that he shouldn't have come to the office.He had been spending most of his days at the squirrel in his home deep in the countryside. Teleworking most of the time, as the squirrel he felt no need for clothes, his heavy furred balls resting between his thighs as his paws raced over the keyboard. The sharp claws on his paws clattering loudly as he typed,...
Fantasy & Sci-FiIt’s time to go to the land of chocolate fountains and golden showers. That’s right. Scat, piss, shit, and every fluid in between. Ever fuck a chick in her ass and freak out when you see that little bit of shit on your dick? Then I’m sorry to say that scat isn’t for you buddy. Were you the only one of your friends that saw two girls one cup and didn’t get grossed out? If so, it’s time to celebrate it! Don’t get pissed off, get pissed on! Scat porn has the craziest, kinkiest chicks and dudes...
Scat Porn SitesI’m not saying anything controversial when I say men love seeing women naked. It’s a fact of life as fundamental as gravity. It’s a force of nature that cannot be stopped by beast, man, or God. It’s an eternal truth and a divine mandate. As sure as the sun will rise, men will attempt to view as many women naked as they possibly can. Any man not doing so is either a sad or a gay one.This means that any woman a man sees regularly is mentally stripped down during every interaction. If any women...
The FappeningClayton Smithers was really glad he had listened to his mother when she told him he should become a doctor. Mom had always told him it would be a lot of work but worth it in money and prestige. She had been only part right. Hardly any work had been required, just learning the jargon and technical terms by studying books and papers written by psychiatrists who had taken the hard route to obtaining their degrees. Clayton Smithers had taken the easy route, buying his degree from the best diploma...
‘To me it’s not really a green. When I think green, I think of grass. That’s more like lemonade color.’ Erica’s nose was far too close to the glasses for my taste. Pouring the nearly clear absinthe over the rough-cut, cane-sugar cubes I favor, I tapped my spoon for a second to get her to back up. I wished I had my full setup here like I have at home, my Absinthe fountains water drippers are missed when I began to try and slowly pour water over the sugar cube. ‘Don’t you light it on fire?’ she...
Have you ever heard about a wonderful site called “Motherless”? I have a feeling that was a dumb question, of course, you fucking have. Well, I am here to talk about Motherless, but I shall also pay special attention to their Arab category. If you think Arabian sluts are hot, well you are in for a tasty treat, believe me.First, I should probably warn you that the name of this place comes from the fact that their content might be a bit too hardcore or questionable for some of you. Back in the...
Arab Porn SitesFuck yeah, life’s a bitch! So here I am, awake at 3:45 AM, after dreaming I was fucking this freaking hot MILF neighbor with heavy boobs, a flat tummy, a nice bubble butt, and sexy long legs. It was all hot and steamy, up until when she was sucking me off and just as I was about to obliterate her cute face with hot cum canon, my dream cut right off and I woke up with a tent on my pajamas.That dream ain’t coming back, but damn it! I sure gotta cum, so I boot up my laptop and type “cum facial” in...
Facial Cumshot Porn SitesHer head had been on the brink of falling onto my shoulder for the past 15 minutes. Every time, I thought I’d feel her soft locks brush against my skin, the train would rattle and she roused herself up again. It was torture. I could clearly see she could barely muster the energy to sit up straight again, and I could no longer bear the torture of anticipating the sensations to come and still not feel her on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but let out an exasperated sigh when the train suddenly...
I had met Gunther while attending a boring conference out of town.Of course my beloved hubby had not been there for sure.He was a young athletic Austrian guy, handsome and muscled. A real gentleman, but I felt he had a dark past and I wanted to know it…Now Gunther was in town and my hubby was out; so I agreed to meet him at a local pub, I knew it was not the sort of place I would normally go with a man on my first date; but I did not care about it…I decided to wear my tightest black leather...
Absinthe 2: The Absinthe of Malice By Morpheus The flight from Seattle to Boston had been extremely long and uncomfortable, even with the two hour delay in Chicago where I got to stretch my legs and change flights. My book had given me something to do during the countless hours in the air, though admittedly, Collin had been my largest savior from boredom. The two of us had ended up talking for over half the flight, and by the time we finally landed, I was even starting to consider...
Und draußen schallte wieder Punkmusik aus dem Ghettoblaster – von der Eisenbahnunterführung bis zu seinem Haus! Punks und Skater hingen da ab. Das war diese Art von Jugendlichen, die ihren Eltern das Leben schwer macht , die von Arbeit nichts hielten, sich an keine Regeln hielten, ständig auf Party machten. Die soffen viel zu viel und kotzten dann in irgendeine Ecke. Denen bedeutete doch nichts und niemand etwas. Wahrscheinlich nahmen sie auch Drogen und trieben weiß-Gott-was mit...
BDSMAnna introduced Ethel to her father, Jonas Strong, when they met him in Wilsonville. Jonas was owner and manager of the bank and was a pillar of the community. He was surprised to see a woman dressed as Ethel was, but was completely taken by her when he found out that she had saved his daughter's life. He was impressed by any woman who had the gumption to be a gunfighter, and he was further impressed by the way she was armed. Jonas wanted to get to know Ethel better, so he and Anna stayed...
Ethel developed a really great liking for Adam Strong in the week she spent visiting them. He did not exactly remind her of her dead husband, Archy, but he had a lot of the same characteristics that she had loved in Archy. His main attraction, though, was that he let her be her. Adam did not try to change her to fit some sort of "ideal woman" in his eyes. Ethel hated to leave at the end of her week's visit, but she knew that she had to if she was ever going to satisfy her vendetta against...
Motherless is the mother of all porn sites. Motherless has no conscience or moral guide. Motherless will show you the stuff that all other porn sites are afraid to put up. Motherless will do this for free. This is seriously one of the nastiest and raunchiest sites out there and Motherless/Fetish is perhaps one of the dirtiest places on the web that are well within reach. Sure you can scan the dark web and find something even more naughty or puzzlingly gross, but why do that when you’ve got...
Fetish Porn SitesJake Peters and I watched the lady friends of Lynette Peters as they played cards at the kitchen table. Jake's comments about Betty, and how he wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with her, surprised me. Jake always dated girls around his own age. Betty was probably in her mid to late thirties. She was pretty, blond and sported a curvy figure. Not overweight, comfy would be the best description. I did notice that she was eyeing us up a bit more than the other women were. But first a brief...
MILFThe next afternoon, Ethel, Hester, and Anna rode into Wilsonville. Ethel had her horse, but the other two ladies were riding in a carriage driven by Anna. Ethel was planning to open her bank account and stay over to play poker, but the other two were going to do some shopping and return home in time for supper. They met Jonas for dinner (lunch to you damyankees) and had a very nice meal at the hotel restaurant. Of course, it was not up to what Hester could and would fix, but it was still...
After tea on the Friday evening Thelma stopped me as I was going into upstairs to my room. Her eyes looked wild and her breathing was heavy. “I’m going to a party,” She said in a low voice, “do you want to watch me getting undressed?” I nodded like a puppet. “Wait in my room…I’ll be up in five minutes.” I skipped up the stairs two at a time! I nervously let myself into my sister’s bedroom. I’d been in many times before – borrowing her dirty knickers and stuff to use...
Harry and Rob sat in the local pub in their usual spot in the corner by themselves. They were having a discussion about what to do with Ethel. Rob has been adamant that he wants to hang Ethel by her ankles and butcher her. Harry strongly disagrees with him. Harry is convinced that if he talks to Ethel he can persuade her not to go to the authorities and they will be able to use her the same way the other men. Rob agrees to try Harry's way first but he says" if she wants to argue I'm going to...
kEthel sat with her tits nailed to the work table. Her tits were swollen to twice their normal size from the beating they had received from Harry and Rob and the axe handle. Ethel sobbed both from the pain and the feeling of despair and hopelessness. She knew she would not be able to sweet talk the men into letting her go without anymore abuse. Harry and Rob arrived and again Ethel begged and pleaded with them to let her go. The men laughed and told her they still had a few more things they...