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I don't know why I did it but in retrospect, I'm definitely glad I did. I was driving down one of those uncountable mountain roads. You probably know the kind, not a straight section over fifty feet long and a sheer drop to the treetops hundreds of feet below with only a thin guard rail (if that) between you and eternity. Most of the traffic is from coal or log trucks, each weighing sixty thousand pounds and every one a menace. I was daydreaming as usual while reflecting on my wasted life and how much of it was my fault. You see, I was one of the many who were too intelligent for their own good. I was constantly bored in school because it was just too easy, so of course I blew it off. I was ostracized and ridiculed in high school because I blew the curve. I only showed up on Fridays to take their sorry excuses for tests and aced them all. Unfortunately, by doing all of that I screwed up big time.

I never lived up to my potential because I thought I was smart. I hated school, so no college for me. I'd make my millions without it. I may have been born with a high I.Q but common sense came much too late to be of any help. So here I am traveling the world repairing security systems. I was always on the road from airports to government and military installations. Three failed marriages and four kids who didn't know or care where I was because they never saw me anyway lay behind me. Perhaps that was part of the reason that I was a freaking walking heart attack. I had ceased to give a shit about myself years ago. I smoked like a freight train, drank like a fish, and lived on fast food. In short, my life sucked rocks. All that shit was running through my head when that big honkin' mother of a coal truck came around the bend mostly in my lane. I moved as far to the right as I could but no way was it going to miss me. I knew it was over before it clipped me and sent the rented SUV over the side of that mountain.

Now, in that situation most people will scream something descriptive like "SHIIIT!" or the even more appropriate "FUUUKKK!" That would have been the most appropriate because I knew I was well and truly fucked right about now. When my mouth opened I screamed something but what came out was "LOoooKiiii!" O.K. so I'm a Pagan. Christianity never seemed to fit my beliefs. With a name like Matthias Sussmann I suppose it was logical for me to look at the old German/Norse Gods. For some unknown reason it seemed to resonate with me. Especially Loki, the God who brought about changes. I hate stagnation and always felt any change was beneficial. That along with my warped humor made Loki what a Christian might call my "Patron Saint". I never expected the events this would cause. What I expected was eventually landing, a short excruciating pain, and oblivion. I was actually looking forward to it. What I got was the biggest surprise of my pointless existence. One second I'm hurtling through the air waiting for the inevitable, chuckling about my obsession with wearing a seat belt and in the next I'm in a rather upscale bar sitting across from the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Like every male of the species I have my own image of the perfect woman. Mine was sitting across the table from me. She had long dark red hair, green eyes, full lips, and what looked to be a perfect (to me) figure in the range of 34-22-34 on a lightly freckled frame of roughly 5'6." I was more than a little confused at the recent turn of events, so when I looked around all I could manage to say was "fuck... me".

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Jenny was nervous as hell. It was one thing to hold Kate’s hand and kiss her in a lesbian bar, or in her home, but this was different. Not only was it her first date with another woman, this was being out in public with her. Should Jenny hold her hand? Kiss her? Hug her? What was acceptable behaviour for this situation? She didn’t want Kate to think she was embarrassed to be seen to be close to her, but then she didn’t know if Kate felt comfortable with overt shows of affection in...

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Thirty years ago, in the freewheeling '70's, casual sex was a lot different than today. Those of you who were there know what I mean. Those of you who have come of age under the shadow of AIDS and HIV cannot understand. There were still serious threats, but nothing that was absolutely life threatening waiting between the legs of your next lover. I'd given college a try right out of high school, rather than going to the University of Vietnam. Fortunately, by the time I'd dropped out of...

The Magic Soap of Babylon

The Magic Soap of Babylon OBJECT: Magic Soap of Babylon USAGE (setting the form): Imagine the form that you wish the soap to "create" when next used. While holding this image in your mind, tap the soap three times and then blow on it. You will know that the new form for next use has been set when a small spark shoots out of the soap. USAGE (activation): When applied with water or moisture, the form of the user will instantly transform into that of the soap's last form...

Historical

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