The Methuselah ComplexChapter 3
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Four days after winning the State Championship, our new bedroom was finished. I was stunned when I got home from school that day to find a custom-made bed gracing the huge room. The bed was half again as wide as a king-size bed, making it comfortable for five people and a cozy fit for six. The attached bathroom had two toilets in it, and a shower stall big enough to comfortably hold six people--seven if they were really good friends. The room included a small kitchenette, complete with a two-burner stove and a small refrigerator. They even installed a Jacuzzi in the back yard near the pool, although it wouldn’t get much use until the weather warmed up.
Christmas break started three days later. It wasn’t much of a break since I spent time nearly every day working on a proposal for the seminars. The girls helped as much as they could. God, how I missed computers and the internet. I had to meet with everyone from the school janitors to the managers of two large hotels a short drive from the school. Rather than rent a conference room from the hotel, I figured we would use the auditorium at the school.
Intercontinental Hotels owned both hotels. They agreed to donate a set amount for every person attending the seminars who stayed at one of their hotels if we suggested the hotels. They also agreed to offer a roll-away bed in some of the rooms so three people could split the cost of a room for some of the high school coaches and coaches from Division II and III colleges.
Three local restaurants agreed to donate a percent of the cost of meals the coaches bought if we steered them to those three restaurants. By state law, they couldn’t donate any of the price of alcohol the coaches bought. I found out how much it would cost to use the school buses to transport the coaches from the hotels to the school and back again. We even planned to use school buses for an hourly shuttle service from the airport to the hotels and back to the airport after the seminar.
After typing up the final proposal, we submitted it to the School Board for consideration at the meeting in late January. I’d forgotten what a pain in the ass it was to use a typewriter instead of a keyboard. Coach Franklin and the attorney for the Intercontinental Hotel chain had already studied the final proposal and signed off on it.
Christmas was a hit. I got a gold necklace and earring set for each of the girls with their birthstones on the necklace and the earrings. The girls chipped in to buy an expensive bottle of Jacob’s favorite brandy, one costing $75 even in 1965.
The surprise to everyone except Dad was the cars. I bought Amy, Bridget, and Caitlin each a red Mustang convertible with their name painted just under the driver’s window. I even bought one for Mom and for Maureen, also with their names on them.
At first, their friends thought they were sharing a single car--until they noticed the names. I told everyone it was money from the stock market, but Mom and Dad spent several weekends at the racetrack making more than enough to buy the cars. I think the girls may have contributed to the eventual increase in gas prices with as much as they drove their new cars. I knew Bridget would love the car. Jacob had rebuilt one for Melody and she loved the car so much that he kept it running for her until she died. Bridget had tears in her eyes when she saw the cars out front Christmas morning.
The first week of January, I had the stockbroker sell off most of our stocks. We kept two that would continue to climb despite the rapid drop the market would experience for the next ten months. Aside from one more IPO in March, we would stay out of the market until the first of October, days before the market bottomed out and started rising again.
“The last matter on tonight’s agenda is a proposal by Jim Ladner, a student. Mr. Ladner, what makes you think a roomful of adults would be willing to pay to be lectured to by a student?” the School Board President asked condescendingly.
“Sir, we’ve received over three hundred pieces of correspondence asking if we would be willing to explain the system and the formations,” I answered.
“But how do we know you can actually stand in front of a large group without freezing up? What happens if you can’t do it?”
“Perhaps you should contact my teachers and see how I do when giving a report in class. Alternatively, you could talk to the coaches. I can’t imagine a much more intimidating situation than being called into the office with twelve coaches even before the first day of school, and after just one week of practice, and having to explain a new offensive system. And do I seem nervous standing here in front of you and everyone else?”
“That will be enough young man,” he said in a threatening voice.
“Enough what?” I answered sarcastically. “Enough disagreement, and enough trying to get you to see that this is a viable plan to bring recognition and money to the school?” I asked incredulously. I couldn’t suppress a somewhat disdainful laugh.
“Young man, you will be respectful,” He threatened. I don’t think he appreciated my laughter.
“I was respectful. I spent most of Christmas break putting this proposal together so you would have time to review it before tonight’s meeting. I even wore my suit and tie tonight. When I spoke, I spoke respectfully. Then you disrespected me. Once you did that, any grounds you might have had to expect me to return the respect flew out the window. I’m just treating you the same way you treated me. Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” I sniped.
“Either you apologize for your outburst or there will be consequences,” he warned.
“Really? Within an hour of those consequences, I will have an attorney who will be taking exception to your consequences. I don’t know off the top of my head where it was, but a Federal Appellate Court ruled in favor of a man cited for contempt of court saying that you can’t be in contempt of a court that is itself contemptible. I’m pretty sure the same ruling would apply to a bunch of pompous, arrogant, elected officials,” I replied angrily; then I turned and stormed out, ignoring his shouted threats. I was positive that I hadn’t heard the end of the matter and considered skipping school in the morning to find a good attorney.
“Ladner, my office, now!” Coach hollered across the parking lot as soon as I closed the car door Tuesday morning. “I probably won’t be here to need a ride home after school,” I told the girls as I trudged after coach, even though my parents and the girls told me that several business owners there to support the proposal last night reamed the school board after I left. They finally listened to my proposal and agreed to it last night.
“Yes sir?” I said once I was in the office. He waited for the door to close.
“Damn, but you reamed those boys a new asshole last night,” he chuckled. “It’s too bad you didn’t hang around. After you finished with them, that attorney fella from Intercontinental Hotels took ‘em down a few more notches. He told them that, not only were you right about the case you cited, but they had just opened themselves up to possible charges of malfeasance in office. Then he asked them how many fifteen-year-olds they know who not only know what case law was but could cite examples. Next, he begged ‘em to kick you out of school.
“He told ‘em that the proposal you submitted was one of the best thought out proposals he’d seen, and that Intercontinental Hotels would hire you on the spot as a business consultant for way more money than the pittance the School Board members made. He also let them know that you presented the proposal to a whole roomful of businessmen that you got together, and not only weren’t nervous, but you had answers for every question they asked.
“They finally looked at your proposal and decided it was actually a great idea, except they can’t understand why the girls need a weight room, too. They’re probably in the office right now waiting for first period to call you in to talk to you about it. Do all of us a favor and hear them out before you start chewing on them again. I’d really like to see you finish what you started,” he said.
“Okay, I’ll listen” I said.
“Good, then get your ass over to the office and make sure to look properly chewed out when you leave here,” he laughed as he waved to the door signaling that our meeting was adjourned.
A few minutes later, I let the office secretary know I was there, and was probably expected in the Principal’s office. She knocked, and then opened the door to let them know I was there before motioning me over. “Thank you,” I mouthed quietly to her before entering the lion’s den.
“Mr. Ladner, please come in. I’d like to apologize for the way I treated you last night,” Mr. Bingham said.
“And I apologize for my behavior. As Coach so succinctly pointed out a few minutes ago when he performed a recto-craniotomy, perhaps I was letting my youth show.”
“Recto what?” Mr. Bingham asked. I saw the principal’s eyes widen when he caught it.
“Recto-craniotomy, it’s a polite way of saying something that’s not too polite,” I explained.
“Ah,” he said, chuckling when he caught on. “One of your coach’s words?” he asked, barely able to stifle the mirth.
“Nah, when a coach wants to make a point, they don’t use big words you have to think about,” I answered. Both men laughed finally.
“The apology is appreciated, but not necessary. You did nothing wrong last night and everything you said was the truth ... even if it did sting a bit. Anyway, at the insistence of more than a dozen members of the business community who were there to support you last night, we went over your proposal. Mr. Anton, the attorney from Intercontinental Hotels said yours was one of the most thorough proposals he’d ever seen, and I must agree. We’re hoping to convince you to go ahead with the plan. Our only real question is why the school needs a weight room for the girls.”
“Male athletes all lift weights to build their strength. It will help the female athletes as well,” I explained.
“But we don’t want to start turning out girls who look like Russian shot-putters,” he countered.
“To turn out like that, they have to be genetically predisposed for it or using steroids. Sally Freeman is the only girl I know in school who would end up like that and she’s already built like that. The rest of them will only get stronger unless they lift heavy weights several hours a day. I don’t think there’s much chance of that happening in the limited time they would have to lift weights during school. They all run for conditioning and none of them have Alley Oop legs. In fact, the girls who run usually have very shapely legs,” I reminded them.
“Where did you learn all of this?” he asked.
“I study things that interest me. I’m seriously considering becoming a coach when I graduate college. I’ve also taken up studying girls’ legs this year,” I added.
He laughed again. “I imagine you have,” he chuckled.
“The board agreed last night to build and equip the new weight room for the girls and to buy new weight machines and weights for the guys if your plan does as well as you think. Mr. Anton thinks your estimate of the revenues you will receive is very conservative,” he said.
“The Board also agreed that you deserved not only two semesters’ credit for a speech class, but also two semester’s credit for student government for all the work you put into planning this, your presentation last night, and then the work of putting on the seminars,” he added. I thanked him and shook his hand before leaving.
“By the way,” he added as I turned to leave, “I watched your last several games, and after last night, I think I have a better understanding of how the defenses that played against you felt,” he chuckled. I nodded my appreciation and left, not daring to breathe until the door closed behind me. Turning towards Bridget’s first period class, I knew I had time to get there before first period got out, so I could let her know I was still alive and still attending classes here.
Coach and I spent the PE period finalizing plans for the seminars. Between the phone calls he’d fielded previously, and the pile of mail that continued to grow, Coach was certain we would have more than a thousand coaches wanting to attend. We scheduled one seminar each day on February 11th, 12th, and 13th. Friday the 11th was the holiday for Lincoln’s Birthday. The next weekend was President’s Day, so we scheduled more seminars that weekend. The following weekend we scheduled seminars Saturday and Sunday. If we needed more, we would schedule them during Easter Break.
Even Bridget’s mother, Maureen, helped. She helped make the flyer using a beautiful calligraphy script. My harem spent hours stuffing flyers into envelopes and addressing the envelopes. The school ran them through their postage meter, keeping track of how many were stamped, expecting reimbursement out of the proceeds from the seminar. We sent out nine hundred announcements and Coach arranged payment to have ads placed in three different national coaching newsletters.
By Friday, the announcements were in the mail. We got home from school to find my parents and Bridget’s parents putting suitcases into Mom’s car. “We’re sure you kids can take care of yourselves for the weekend. We’re going to Vegas. Any bets I should make while we’re there?” Dad asked.
I was too surprised to respond, but Bridget immediately headed into the bedroom and opened the small safe we bought to lock my notes in. “Celtics over the Lakers in seven games,” she read from the list. She also gave them several regular-season scores for games Saturday and Sunday.
With quick hugs, all four parents were gone, leaving us standing there, surprised. “I guess there’s not much we can do with them gone that we wouldn’t do with them here,” Amy chuckled. We did what we would have done if our parents had stayed home. We watched some television while eating pizza for dinner. Saturday the girls helped me start putting my presentation together. I would have killed for access to a computer with PowerPoint and a computer projector. Instead, all I had were an overhead projector and transparencies. I had to type or draw freehand on the transparencies.
Even Amy, Dawn, and Sally came over to help both Saturday and Sunday. Amy answered the door when the doorbell rang Sunday afternoon, returning with Sally’s mother in tow. “What are you kids doing?” she asked nonchalantly. Despite the calm air she tried to project, her eyes darted around the room suspiciously.
I explained about the seminar I would be giving, and that we had spent the last two days outlining what I intended to talk about and drawing the transparencies. “I assume you heard that our parents were in Vegas for the weekend and expected to find a party or an orgy in progress,” I commented calmly.
“I’m sorry, I just figured that a houseful of teenagers with no adult supervision would take advantage of the opportunity,” she explained.
“It was because both sets of parents knew we wouldn’t do something crazy that they trusted us to stay alone,” I explained.
We all laughed once Sally and her mom left. If she’d been here a couple of hours earlier, she would have found the orgy in progress that she suspected. The spanking I gave Sally’s delectable ass would leave it pink for several more hours. Dawn and Joyce had held her down while I pretended to force myself on her, giving Sally one of her biggest orgasms yet. It’s funny, but since we started sleeping together every night, we actually had less sex now than before Bridget and Caitlin moved in--but not much less.
All four parents were in a great mood when they got back. They’d purposely lost more than they won, but Dad provided the Taylors money for gambling, and paid for everything else. He explained that they needed to lose occasionally to keep from raising suspicion about how much they won. Besides, the more often they went and the more they spent the more benefits they got from the hotel. Their room had been upgraded to a suite since they brought guests. Dad and Mr. Taylor placed different bets on some of the games this weekend. Those winnings helped offset what they lost at the tables and the slot machines.
Mom and Maureen exclaimed about the shows they’d seen and about the pampering they received at the hotel spa while their husbands tried their hand at the poker tables. Evidently, Larry came out ahead playing poker, but sucked at roulette.
Monday, I talked with Coach. I left him a copy of the outline and my notes for the seminar. I also told him I had an idea for the defense next year to help defend against these same formations. He worried that a zone defense might be too complicated, but I explained that intelligence would now have to be one of the criteria used to assess players for first string. He laughed when I suggested leaving the coaches who attended our seminar with a teaser at the end, telling them we might have another one next year for a new type of defense. I left him with an overview of the various zone defenses. I explained that the one he eventually chose would depend on the players he had available next year.
The basketball season was over halfway finished, and I asked coach to arrange a meeting with the basketball coach in May so I could introduce a zone defense for basketball to him. It was complicated enough they wouldn’t be able to use it until next year. “Another seminar?” he chuckled. I nodded, promising a schedule for possible seminars before next season got underway.
By February 1, it was obvious the seminar was going to need the added dates during Easter Break. I had hoped to limit each seminar to two hundred coaches. Even increasing attendance to three hundred, the eight dates we already planned filled up by February 1. We sent a postcard to everyone else offering the dates of April 2 through 6. We also let the hotels, restaurants, and bus drivers know. I was surprised at the interest, as well as the support we got from the School Board.
Finally, the big day of the first seminar arrived. Aside from my menagerie, all the cheerleaders and the girls’ volleyball team were there to help. They helped sign people in, handed out nametags, kept the coffee urn and water pitchers in the lobby full, and answered general questions. The guys on the team attended and were asked multiple times how hard it was to learn the system.
For four hours, I covered the various formations and options available, and then answered questions. I actually got a standing ovation when it was over. Several coaches told me afterwards they had expected Coach Franklin to give the seminar and had been surprised when I began. I did warn everyone that we might meet again next year if my new ideas for the defense panned out the way I hoped they would.
The seminars Saturday and Sunday were just as successful. I saw several School Board members in the audience Friday. Mr. Bingham was thoughtful enough to tell me afterwards that he was extremely impressed with the seminar. He was already aware that we had expanded to eleven seminars by having some during Easter Break and had increased all but the first three seminars to four hundred coaches, nearly filling the auditorium.
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