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On the following Monday, Mother and Kris took the four girls to enroll in school. I later learned from them that it was the comedy of the century. First of all, Mom was president of the local school board. Beyond that, though, she’s a believer in the concept that the best defense is a good offense. That being the case, she was on the attack from the beginning, the reason being that she didn’t want any questions raised about why four of her daughters had not been attending the local public schools in the first place.
The principal, Donald Grimes, did, indeed, raise the question. Mother merely kissed him off by saying, “For reasons that are no concern of yours, my daughters have been living with relatives.” End of story.
Obviously, there was nothing funny about that exchange, so where did the humor come from? From what followed immediately after as they discussed the four girls’ courses of study. It was quite routine until Mom realized that both sets of “twins” would be taking sex education. “I thought sex education was only offered to seniors as a part of the health curriculum?”
“No longer!” Monica Cumberland, the dean of students, replied proudly. “Young people are far more sexually active and at younger ages every year, it seems. So we’ve been lowering the age at which we begin sex education.”
“And where does it start now?” Kris asked.
“Why ... in the second grade, of course,” the dean replied.
“But they’re only... eight years old!” Kris exclaimed.
With her lips pursed in the finest Miss Grundy fashion, Ms. Cumberland responded, “Some girls reach menses earlier than others. It wouldn’t be fair to deny them this knowledge of their own bodies.”
“Oh...” Mother said, stretching out the word. After a pause she added, “Who teaches the course here in the high school?”
“That’s Gwen Merritt,” Cumberland replied. “She’s very good. She has her master’s degree plus 30 credits already and she’s not yet 25. A wonderful teacher!”
“Does she have a class this period?” Mom asked.
Principal Grimes quickly checked teacher schedules and found that Ms. Merritt was free that period. His secretary called and invited her to join the group. In the meantime, the four girls had found various items of interest around the room to carefully study: a fly trapped between the window and the screen, an utterly fascinating paint streak, and other such things to keep from bursting out laughing. Although they were new to the Harris family, they could see that Mr. Grimes, Ms. Cumberland and Ms. Merritt were in for a rather long morning. They were not disappointed.
You may wonder how I knew what was said, not having been present. The knowledge came from a blow-by-blow account from the women, all six talking at once, it seemed.
“Mom was unreal!” Little Bit gushed. “The way she ate out Miss Merritt was a sight to see—”
“It all started,” Ann picked up, “when Mother started to talk to her about the curriculum. ‘After all,’ she pointed out, ‘if sex education starts in the second grade, what’s left to be covered in high school?’
“The woman just stammered and stuttered. Then Mom raised the question of the school’s Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Alliance.” Turning to Dad, Ann grinned and added, “Honest, Dad, they really do have one.”
“And I can’t tell you how great it makes me feel to hear you call me Dad,” my father responded. “You know what?” he mused. “Just a few short months ago, Marty and I had only a single child. Now we find that we’ve had six of the most beautiful young women in the world as our daughters.”
He paused, looked at Kris, and added, “Kristin is a real problem, of course. Marty and I are morally certain she’s our natural-born daughter, too, but since she’s married to Cam, we’re sort of keeping quiet about that one. There are some narrow-minded people who frown on incest, you know.”
With that, Kris left her seat and sat across my lap. I then received possibly the warmest, most loving kiss of our relationship. While still in a bit of a daze from the kiss she remarked, “Oh, I don’t know ... After all, Dad, vice is nice, but incest is best.”
Mother rolled her hips, sighed and added, “Mmm ... Isn’t it, though?”
The four younger girls all howled with laughter at that one.
“So what happened with Miss Merritt?” Dad prompted. “You were just getting started when you went off the track.”
In her sternest tone, Kris stated, “Father, you simply must speak to Mother in the strongest possible terms!”
“Oh?” Dad inquired calmly. “What did she do this time?”
“She ate out Ms. Merritt right in the principal’s office while Monica Cumberland was giving the principal a blowjob!”
“Kristin Harris!” Mom protested, “I was demonstrating cunnilingus, using Gwen Merritt as the subject...”
“But you made me coach Monica!” Kris pretended to wail.
“Golly, Big Sister,” Little Bit piped up, “I really thought I knew how to eat pussy until I had you in the course on cunnilingus at The Institute. I really learned something in that course, too.”
“And you also subbed for Sister Tina a number of times in her course on fellatio,” Ann added with her eyes wide. She paused and then added, “You’re even better at it than she is, I think.” Feigning a puzzled expression she continued, “I don’t understand the problem. But, Mommy, I don’t understand. Why didn’t you do both? You really did a great job on Ms. Merritt’s pussy, demonstrating cunnilingus for her.”
“Because, Daughter. And you should know the answer to that question yourself. How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?”
“But I thought you meant food,” Ann retorted.
“So how did it go?” Dad interrupted.
“It was just delicious!” Kim exclaimed. “Mom’s tongue stud drove Gwen Merritt nuts! When we finally left, the woman was naked on the principal’s couch with her arms and legs sprawled all over it. She was almost completely out of it, but she kept mumbling, “More, please...”
“And Principal Grimes was just so cute!” Judy added. “His penis is so small and yet so cute...” She paused and with a fake look of concern on her face she said, “But why did you make Monica shave Mr. Grimes’ pubic area?”
“It was for sanitary reasons,” Mom sniffed.
“His cock is really so cute,” Kim said. “Boy! I wish we could have practiced with something that size at The Institute. It’s the perfect size for learning how to deep-throat.”
“No, it’s not,” Mother retorted. “Deep-throat, indeed! It wouldn’t have reached the back of your mouth, let alone gone down your throat.”
“But it would be all the way in,” Kim countered, “so what difference would it make? And why did you have poor Monica Cumberland shave everyone?”
“Because,” Mom explained with a pout, “I was afraid I would catch my stud in Gwen’s pubic hair.” She paused and then added, “She was really a hairy thing, wasn’t she? And anyway, once Monica got going...”
“But why Principal Grimes?” Kim persisted.
“Because he has such a pretty little cock, I thought it would be much cuter if it were free of hair. And I really think it improves his groin. And Monica really seemed to like sucking him so much better after she had done it, too.”
“But the way you left poor Gwen Merritt...” Judy said, sadly shaking her head.
“And what, exactly, did you do to Gwen Merritt, Mother?” I asked.
“Oh ... Nothing, really...” she replied, letting the words tail off.
“Nothing?” I persisted.
“Well, she really wanted it, and I had some spares with me, so...”
“Wanted what? And what spares?” I asked, growing exasperated. And Dad? It was all he could do to control his laughter.
“She looked so ... bare. It was a real shame. And I had some extras, so...”
“Bare? Extras of what?”
“Her pussy looked so bare after it was shaved. And I had a few extra gold rings ... And they’re 18-carat, too, and I didn’t even charge her.”
“You mean...” I stammered, aghast. “You pierced and ringed her... ?”
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